this feeling's old, and i know, that i've made up my mind

by anglrrr

Summary:

au where mizuki and rui drift apart

i found this while going through docs and decided to post it bc why not

Mizuki cried, and cried and cried. 

 

Why do you hate me?

 

They cried until they stained their clothes, cried over a person they hadn't talked to in a long, long time.

 

Why did I have to change? 

 

They cried for something that they shouldn't have cried over. They had changed for the better. They were happier now. And yet, this distance, it terrified them. What about those rooftop meetings? What about the only person who really understood? 

 

What happened to you? 

 

What about one of their only close friends? All those years ago, did that mean nothing? Was the only thing they could do is leave all that behind? Watching those moments slowly fade, corroding, painting over, burning. It's not like they had even tried to reach out. 

 

What happened to us?

 

Rui. Maybe Mizuki was just mulling over the past, maybe Rui also changed. But why would he hate them? 

 

What did I ever do?

 

Mizuki wanted to go back, back to those middle school days, before they put on bows, before they met Ena, before everything. 

 

We used to be best friends.

 

What about now? We're they just a stranger to Rui? Someone to give sidelong glances, someone to spite, and all for what? For what? They wanted to explain, they wanted to say something, something to make it better, something to ease this odd feeling of hurt in their heart. 

 

Why was she crying in the first place? Mizuki hasn't contacted Rui in years. Years. They thought they had left him in those high school days, and yet, and yet look at them now. Crying over someone you're not in touch with anymore. 

 

They wanted to laugh. It was hilarious. It was pitiful, it was comedic relief and the worst part in one. Mizuki felt wrong, felt violated. They could explain. They could explain. Right? 

 

There was nothing to explain. 

 

There was nothing to say. 

 

It didn't matter how many ruffles or pearls Mizuki buried themselves in. It didn't matter how much makeup they put on, how many dresses, how much lace, none of it would ever bring her true peace. Peace. Peace had been those days where they would sit and talk, talk and sit. Yet none of them were happy with that peace. They both sought more, and yet it seems they've gone too far. 

 

A new look. 

 

New friends. 

 

Years and time, time and years. 

 

Changes, changes, changes. 

 

Change is for the better. 

 

 

Change hurts. 

Notes:

alright fine i lied about the comfort and fluff mb mb