Chapter Text
Tomura,
I’ve never been good with words and feelings. But there are things I need to tell you. Especially now you know about my program. By the way, I’m sorry I kept this from you. I probably should have talked to you, like Hizashi advised me so many times. I hope you can forgive me and trust me again.
But now, you know. And there is more. Things I’m not brave enough to say to your face. Questions I’m too afraid to ask.
I love you.
Don’t ask me for how long. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. Maybe Hizashi does. Don’t ask me to say it out loud. I’m not sure I’m capable of that. Not yet. I just wanted you to know where I stand so it’s easier for you to understand what I’m planning for the future.
I’m gonna get you out. I’m not sure when it’s gonna happen, but I will make it happen. I know you probably don’t want to set your expectations too high, and I can understand why, but I need you to trust me on this. And I need your help.
I need you to continue your therapy, your studies and to show them that one day, you will be ready to get out. I need you to build a plan for the future: what are you gonna do, how are you gonna live, how are you gonna make money, how are you gonna fit into the world.
I know it’s a lot to ask. You made peace with the idea of spending all your life in prison a long time ago. But I need you to fight for your freedom once again. Just one more time. You freed yourself twice before, you can do it again.
With this letter, I’m sending you the application I filed in your name, the one that was rejected. It was not a surprise, Hizashi and I knew that it would take more than one try. Don’t focus on the rejection, it’s just the first step.
Now I need to make something very clear: I’m not helping you so I can have you. Of course, I want you, but I’m helping you so you can have a life outside of the prison’s walls. When you’re out, you’ll do whatever you want, including rejecting me. Including asking me to leave you alone. Including disappearing so I’d never see you again. In fact, you can ask me that right now. I would still hep you. Even if you don’t want me, even if you don’t love me.
I don’t expect anything in return. I just want you to be happy, and I don’t think you can truly be happy as long as you’re behind bars.
That being said, I’m still offering. If you want me, you can have me. I can be your boyfriend, your lover, your partner. That’s up to you. I will take whatever you’re willing to give me. My only condition is that I have a husband and a daughter and they’re not going anywhere. I’d understand if this is something you can’t deal with.
Of course, if you take me, you can change your mind at any time. I will still be here for you and do everything I can to give you the life I know you deserve. You will quickly notice we suggested you live with us once you’re out. We thought your application to the program would be more easily considered if we offer constant pro-heroes supervision. You could choose someone else. Deku, Shoto... anyone. But if you want to, you can live with us. We can set things up so you’d have your own space. You could be a roommate or something more, that’s up to you.
We could say I’m offering an unconditional friendship and support. No matter what. Let’s say we work together, you get out next year and once you’re free, you ask me to never contact you again. If in 10 years, you’re having trouble again, they’re threating to lock you up again, you can give me call and I will help you. No question asked, no thank you needed.
What I don’t want is you to feel like you owe me something. You don’t and you won’t. I’m helping you because I want to, because it’s not fair you have to stay in prison until you die, because society failed you and someone has to fix that.
I really hope I’m being clear. Feel free to ask any questions. I will answer all of them.
Let me know about your final decision.
Take care,
Shouta.
Yamada,
For how long ?
Why ?
T.
Tomy <3
I was so happy to received your letter! I feel so privileged! Don’t worry, I didn’t tell Sho, this will be our little secret ;)
You’re lucky Sho told me about his letter (poor baby was so stressed out :/) because otherwise I wouldn’t have understood what you meant!
I would say he fell in love with you after two years of visits? Probably around that time you started to read the same book. When he explained to me he had to read three chapters per week so you both could talked about it during his weekly visit, I knew he was down bad! That and the time he used his hero privilege to get you the new Pokemon game before the official release so you could have it for your birthday. But it hit him only when you asked him to stop visiting </3
There are many reasons why! You’re cute and smart and more funny than people think! You’re a hard worker, you’re brave and you have such a strong mind. But the main reason is probably because you changed. You could have destroyed the world, but when it truly mattered, you did the right thing.
You can pretend it was only for your own sake, but deep down, Shouta and I know that it was more than a « I have to kill my master to be free » move. Sure, you never meant to save the entire world, but you still wanted to save some people, because yes, the members of your League are – or were – people too and he truly respects that. I’m so sorry it was too late to save them all… Dabi and Kurogiri deserved better and I mean it.
Shouta met you at your lowest. Seeing you recovering and growing up (even you were already an adult, you get what I mean!) is a big turn-on for him! He’s a hero, he wants to believe that people can be saved and that people can change even after doing terrible things. And god, you did terrible, horrible, atrocious things! And I can assure you it’s not helping you that he finds hot, but the fact that you’re letting people help you. It could have been anyone else.
That being said, he’s a very jealous man. He can be a little bit creepy when you look at it too closely. But he’s also very respectful of his lovers’ limits! If you reject him, he’s not gonna push. But you know that. I still can’t believe he’s never insisted on visiting you again after you pushed him away… Believe me, if I hadn’t take charges and suggest you to see him again, he would still be pining over your memory!
I think he also feels close to you because you both lost one of your lovers at a very young age. It’s a bit sad, but it’s true. He would probably pretend otherwise if you asked him, but I know I’m right about this.
But I feel like I’m saying too much! I hope this helps!
Love <3
Hizashi *\o/*
Yamada,
Sometimes, I feel like you’re trying to sell me your own husband. I’m not sure I believe you and I think you’re crazy, but thanks, I guess.
Let’s pretend I’m saying yes to everything. How that shit would work? What about you? I’m an asshole, but not that kind of asshole.
T.
Tomy <3
All I want is Shouta to be happy! That’s what you do when you truly love someone :) And you can trust us, we actually have some experience in this.
I’m not sure how it would work because it depends on what you want and don’t want! But I can tell you what I personally want and don’t want if it helps?
I want to have a relationship with you. Don’t panic, I don’t mean necessarily romantic! But to be happy, I need to be at least friend with whoever Shouta is dating. I want all of us to be able to talk and spend time together without anyone feeling uncomfortable or left out. I know from experience that it’s not always easy, especially if Shouta’s boyfriend and I are not dating, but this is what’s best for me.
I get that I can’t know everything about Shouta’s relationships (and it’s not even something I want), but I can’t stand lies. Hide the things you don’t want me to know, but don’t ever lie to me. And I will do the same in return.
Our daughter will always come first, no matter what. I know she’s already a teenager and she will be an adult soon enough, but when Shouta and I adopted her, we agreed on that. If there is a « you or her » situation, it’s gonna be her. Besides, I don’t want someone to interfere with the way we’re raising her. You can have an opinion, you can give advices, but in the end, we’ll be the one taking decisions. We also don’t except our other partners to feel they have to become a step-dad, but of course they have to be nice to her. And she’s not going anywhere. Don’t expect her to leave our house at 18. She can stay until she’s 42 if she wants to.
I would be more comfortable if you have your own space, at least at the beginning. Considering the situation, you can’t have your own apartment, so if you agree on moving with us, we will set up a studio (connected to the house) so it’s not like we’re living all together from the start. It’s gonna a big change for you and for us, and I feel it’s not gonna be easy, so having separate spaces is crucial.
I can tolerate a bit of fighting, bad attitude and brat behavior, but slurs and degradation are hard limits. I know we all had a bad start, but if you ever raise a hand against Shouta, Eri or me again, I’ll walk you back in jail and lock you up forever myself.
Kisses and cuddles in front of me are fine. And if you’re not okay with seeing me doing the same, then sadly, we should look for another place for you to stay. As for sex, I don’t care about what you do with Shouta as long as I don’t see you two fucking in the living room. Once again, I will have the same politeness in return. You should also know that threesomes are off limit if you and I are not dating.
I feel like it’s important to say I don’t aspire to be « the first ». Currently, I’m the husband and you’re the maybe-soon-to-be-boyfriend. Our relationships with Shouta are very different. Nothing is set in stone. You don’t have to settle for being the boyfriend on the side and you’re allowed to want more if everything goes right.
You should also take into consideration that Shouta and I are married. That means that legally, you can’t ever married him as long as I’m in the picture (and I’m not going anywhere! Sorry not sorry!). You can always have a non-official ceremony or a bond that we all consider equal to what I have with Shouta, but laws aren’t very poly-friendly.
I have more limits and Shouta has his own, but this is a good place to start. I hope I didn’t scare you too much! If we’re doing this, we’re gonna have a long talk!
That being said, you’re not an asshole! Just a mass murderer in rehab <3
Love,
Hizashi *\o/*
Yamada,
You’re so fucking weird.
But I can give you that you made yourself very clear.
I don’t fuck. And it’s been 7 years since I kissed someone. Even with Dabi, we didn’t use to touch a lot, because of my skin problems and his opened wounds. I have almost no experience in this area. Is it gonna be a problem for him?
T.
Tomy <3
You’re so cute…
Shouta gets off emotionally on holding your hand. You’re fine :)
Love,
Hizashi *\o/*
PS : Please answer him, he’s driving himself crazy waiting for your reply :/
Shouta,
You made yourself very clear.
I won’t ask you to say it if you don’t ask me to say it back.
I’ll apply to your fucking program and work with you.
I take the unconditional friendship and support for now. I’m not sure I can take more.
But maybe I want to. One day.
See you on Friday,
Tomura
PS : I never made peace with the idea of dying in prison.