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Eurylochus would’ve never considered himself to be a very calm person. It was all too often when someone would point out how stiffly he’d hold himself or how he always looked as if he were trying to crush something within the palms of his hands from how tight he’d press them into fists without knowing. He couldn’t even remember a time during his adolescent years where he’d have any moments of peace within his ever raging thoughts. A light moment of running through the forests of Same with his few friends could and would quickly turn into a ‘what if’ game in his mind of whether or not he’d be able to make it back home without being mauled alive first. He never grew out of it.
Life always seemed like something Eurylochus needed to survive rather than truly live. When he was assigned to accompany Prince Odysseus of Ithaca at the age of 13, he was even more certain that life was meant to be survived. Then it was set in stone when not even a few months later Odysseus was declared king. He knew what it was like to be a prince as he was one himself (though among much older siblings), but needing to be able to uphold standards beside a king proved to be a lot for himself to handle. The only thing that got him through the first couple of months was the fact that he and Odysseus had known each other before all that had happened, though maybe ‘acquaintances’ was the right term to use rather than ‘friends’ as Odysseus tried to insist.
The friendship title wasn’t something he was able to escape for long, and Eurylochus was only able to let the word ‘friend’ slide off his tongue without a sour taste added to it after having known Odysseus for a year. It wasn’t that he hated him and more so that such a title wasn’t something he himself felt deserving of. Being the friend of a king was only a vague concept in his mind that he couldn’t ever imagine becoming a reality, though it only took 2 more years before Odysseus started claiming the two of them to be best friends. Maybe not on the same level as he saw Polites, who Eurylochus was introduced to not long after arriving to Ithaca, but still. It was a high honor to uphold.
Meeting the royal family had to have been one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of his life up until that point. He found it crazy that Polites could sometimes just waltz on into the palace as if he owned the damn place whilst no one else would bat an eye. Talking to his own parents worked up a sweat anytime he had to, so talking to the king and queen of Ithaca nearly had him choking on his own words at some points. It was after those times where he’d question whether or not he really deserved to even be allowed to step foot into the palace, or even be allowed to speak to them again.
Despite having originally thought that being Odysseus’ guard, no, friend meant that they’d scarcely have time to simply exist within the world without any duties or errands to attend to, there were actually plenty of times where they’d find themselves on the beaches of the island playing ball or riding the backs of horses on the many trails Ithaca had to offer. Only would Odysseus bring Eurylochus and Polites alongside him for said “adventures,” though sometimes there were others he never really got the names of that’d tag along with them. The only time he found himself caring about who came with was when he heard Odysseus was bringing his sister along with them to a playful sword fight; the princess of Ithaca.
Naturally he was a bit concerned since at first he assumed that Odysseus’ sister would be participating in said fight when he had never seen that woman wield a weapon a day in her life since meeting Odysseus and his family (though he wouldn’t doubt she’d be able to if she tried), but somehow finding out that she’d be watching played on his nerves like a lyre. It was one thing for other boys their age to be watching along the sidelines, though it was an entirely different thing for someone who he considered to be of pretty high status watching.
Eurylochus chose to believe that Odysseus had done that to him on purpose. He didn’t know his sister personally well and scarcely even remembered her name, but simply talking to anyone that of royalty had his palms sweating and words vomiting uselessly from his mouth. Having someone of royalty watching wouldn’t be any better, and he completely got his ass handed to him as he lost to Odysseus more times than he definitely should’ve. He would’ve probably hid himself away from society for the next week or so if not for the lone clapping he heard when he finally had Odysseus in a bit of a rough position, having turned his head for only a second to find that it was the princess who had been the one clapping like she was rooting for him to win.
Ctimene was her name as he had came to learn it, not that he didn’t know it before. Obviously he knew Odysseus had a sister, however it never really proved to be his business up until they began to meet more and more on pure coincidence. Or at least he thought it was pure coincidence. It was maybe until he had turned the age of 16 when they had their first proper conversation. Eurylochus knew Ctimene to be Odysseus’ younger sister, but he instantly noticed that she was far more well spoken than Odysseus could ever be. They were both so similar yet so different at the same time.
He enjoyed the few times she’d invite him to pick flowers together (which he later realized were used to mess with her brother, having him thinking Penelope of Sparta had sent them to him) or walk along the beach. Those moments were a nice change in pace that he never knew he needed in his life; just simple conversation without needing to run around to try and keep up. He quickly got used to talking to Ctimene despite her being royalty just as he had eventually got used to speaking to Odysseus. Gathering up the courage to be the one to initiate conversations, however, took much longer than he would’ve liked.
What happened between them from then to present day felt like a huge blur to Eurylochus. He was 17 years of age when he realized his feelings for Ctimene, and nearly 18 when he had begun to court her. If simply talking to her parents was enough for him to strike up a sweat (though he will admit he has gotten better at it), then asking them for permission to have their daughters hand in marriage nearly had him thinking he was going to die of a heart attack.
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He didn’t know which God had willed him to have to stay up so late into the night reminiscing on a past time that occurred 5 months ago, but maybe the luxurious boon of sleep was too much to ask for on the night before his and Ctimene’s 2nd day of marriage. While he didn’t need to worry about the dowry as his father had already paid such expenses to allow him to wed Ctimene, he needed to worry about everything else that came after.
The decorations, the feasts, and the parties were all things Eurylochus did not particularly enjoy. Would he do it all 1,000 times over again just to ensure he’d be bound to Ctimene for the rest of his living days? Of course he would, he just wouldn’t be able to ensure his heart to be in good health after such stress. Marriage is one of the most important things to happen to someone and he wanted it to be perfect not for him, but for his bride.
“I can smell the smoke of your brain overthinking from over here, Eurylochus,” he heard Ctimene say from the other side of the room. She had been working on getting her clothing somewhat organized for the past hour or so and while she was ever so stubborn and refused to admit to it, he knew that she too was just as nervous.
He allowed for his shoulders to guide the rest of his body off of his side and onto his bare back, voice thick with sleep that hadn’t yet come to him no matter how hard he tried with a hint of sarcasm, “Can you? I thought for sure I had been hiding it well.”
It came to no ones surprise that Eurylochus had been practically fidgeting his fingers off throughout the entire first day of their marriage, and Odysseus had already teased him about it more than a few times. Despite it being the 1st day of their marriage ceremony he hardly had any time at all to really spend time with Ctimene due to how busy things were. The moment they were allowed to go home was the moment he fell into bed, his body physically exhausted but his mind running a mile a minute. It wasn’t the small lantern lit in the corner of the room keeping him awake.
To his surprise, the orange light was soon snuffed out after a few beats of silence. The darkness surrounding them made his eyes open wider with slight confusion. It would take a moment for his eyes to get used to the only light illuminating the room being the moon’s silver spotlight, but he didn’t need his sight to be able to feel the feather-stuffed bed dip down beside where he was laying.
“You can’t hide anything from me, Eury. You’d be a fool to think otherwise,” Ctimene’s quiet, gentle voice soothed through his ears. It was one of the many reasons as to why Eurylochus took such a liking to her in the first place. The voices of whom he typically surrounded himself with were a bit overbearing at times to listen to, whilst Ctimene’s almost indirectly reminded him of how to take in a deep breath of air.
Her touch reminded him of how to breathe said air out. Far too often was it rough, calloused hands that would grab him by the shoulder or playfully nudge him with teasing energy. It was beyond him that the touch of a person could be so gentle, so feather-like to where he could hardly feel the pressure of it against him. He didn’t know that the small circles that were being ran over his forehead with Ctimene’s thumb were causing his own fingers to unravel themselves from the tight fists they were in.
“I know,” were the only words Eurylochus found himself being able to speak, though they came out as nothing but a fleeting hot exhale of air that hardly held any of his voice in it at all. Half of him wondered if Ctimene had heard him speak any of what he said save for maybe being able to see the slight movement of his lips.
Of course his extreme nervousness was noticed by everyone who knew him and quite possibly even the ones who did not. Nobody could’ve missed the slight shake he had held in his voice throughout the entire day nor the way he could hardly sit still without needing to move himself at least a little. It was only Ctimene who had noticed the exact moments when things became a bit too overwhelming for him to mentally handle, and only her who had noticed when he silently excused himself outside in order to spill what little lunch he had eaten out of his system.
When he next opened his eyes he was met with the sight of his beautiful Ctimene hovering over him, her brunette curls hanging over her shoulders and gray eyes looking down at him with both love and concern. The sight was short lived as her thumb coaxed his eyelids to close once again. The quickened drum of his heartbeat that sounded in his head still went on strongly, but it was almost impossible for him to keep up with his nerves with a beacon of calm right beside him.
Her hand traveled down from his forehead and onto his bare chest right over the organ that kept him alive. Ctimene sounded tired herself when she next spoke, and a quick shiver ran up his spine when he heard it unexpectedly right into his ear, “Breathe with me, my heart.”
They were simple words that managed to do so much for him. Out of all of her amazing traits, her ability to soothe and bring him out of his own head was what really separated her from everyone else. If he needed a moment to unwind and calm down from the outside world, Ctimene was the only person he’d actively want around him. Their nights spent together refueled his social meter which almost always readied him for the day to come.
And so he did manage to take a few deep breaths of air, his stomach rising as it filled with air in time with Ctimene’s and deflating once he let that air out through his mouth. Very faintly could he hear the whispers of her counting each breath against the side of his head. Her lips just barely grazed the lobe of his ear with every number she spoke. He could only imagine how long the two of them spent simply breathing.
“Are you going to rest with me?” he asked without much thought despite knowing she had previously been busying herself with work. It wasn’t like he was going to bring himself to his knees and beg for her to stay with him if she would decline, but he figured it didn’t hurt to ask.
And it certainly didn’t, Ctimene’s arms wrapping around him proving to give him more warmth than that of a fireplace on a chilled winter day. He melted into her flames quickly with the last of his strength willing his arms to find purchase around her waist. His aching head pressed itself to her chest, listening to the way her heart pulsed with such slowness that he could only hope for his own to do the same.
The nails on the tips of her fingers danced lightly along the back of his neck whilst her other hand traced unhurried shapes into the small of his back, the heated breath of her voice breezing by on top of his head upon her whispering, “Sleep, my love. Save your worries of tomorrow for when Helios shines his rays upon Ithaca in the morning. Be here in the moment with me.”
Ctimene’s words buried deep into his mind like a sirens song. Eurylochus had not an idea of when a spell of sleep fell upon him, however it likely didn’t matter. All that mattered was that his wife continued to press soothing touches to his skin as well as a few kisses to his temples well into his slumber before eventually falling into a much needed deep sleep of her own. A ghost of a smile rested upon his lips.