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Zhang Hao did not want to get a cat. He did not need an extra specimen to take care of when he was living off of instant noodles, coffee, and the vengeful energy of a grad student drowning in papers. A cat meant having to buy food, clean its litter box, sacrifice vases and plates for its entertainment, and forfeit all mortal possessions to satisfy its devious being. Hao was not going to bow down a measly creature- well, it's not like he had the time and energy to raise a cat anyway. He did not have the qualifications to own such a furball. Regretfully.
When he told this to Kim Gyuvin, the underclassman slapped the table rapidly- The same way he did when he was about to give the most ridiculous suggestion ever. Not a good sign. "Hyung, you should get a cat hybrid!"
Now, Zhang Hao had heard of cat hybrids before. Taking on a mostly human appearance with the exception of fluffy cat ears and tail, cat hybrids were specifically bred for human companionship. Cat hybrids were previously only sold to rich owners as servants, housekeepers, companions, or umm, personal services. However, nowadays anybody could adopt a cat hybrid for just a slightly costly fee.
"Gyuvin, does it look like I'm qualified to own a cat hybrid? I am barely keeping myself alive."
"Dude, hear me out. I literally own a cat hybrid- Well, he's more of a boyfrie- I mean, best friend. But he's basically my roommate, we split the housework, he keeps me happy with companionship, and I give him treats. Plus, he does his own little art business, which is pretty cool. It's a win-win situation for the both of us."
"Why not just get a roommate? "
"C'mon, it's a cat hybrid. They've got the best of both worlds! You get a person you can talk to, and fluffy ears to pet. It's totally worth it, I promise."
Hao indeed did not know what the hype with cat hybrids was all about, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't the tiniest bit intrigued. A human with fluffy ears and tail…perhaps living with one wouldn't be too bad. Granted the cat hybrid does not knock over plates and vases, leave messes around the house, and steal all his belongings. Perhaps he could even get the hybrid to help him study for the stupid geophysics midterm that would be forty percent of his grade and not curved at all because his professor is the reincarnation of satan.
And so he finds himself at the cat hybrid adoption center the next day. The lady at the front gives him a judging glance, which he expects because he had dressed himself up in black from head to toe, with a face mask, large sunglasses, and hood tugged over his head. He probably looked like a serial killer on the run. God forbid any of his professors or classmates from university see him walk into a cat hybrid store, and boom, news would spread like wildfire: "Top student of the geosciences department caught purchasing a cat hybrid! What a surprising preference!"
"Hello, sir, would you like to browse our cat hybrid catalog first?" She hands him a binder full of files, each sheet providing a picture and basic information of a cat hybrid, such as name, height, weight, age, skills, personality…and something about a subgender, which Hao did not understand so he just ignored it. "Let me know if any of them catch your eye, and we can bring the hybrid out to meet you."
"Thank you." Zhang Hao takes the binder and begins flipping through the pages. Most of these cat hybrids are similar, all being of slightly shorter height, nice personality, well-rounded housekeeping skills, etc. In addition, they all have very pretty and cute faces reminiscent of actual cat features. Any of them seemed like they could make a good companion, which makes it all the harder for Hao to decide on one.
Then, he comes across an interesting profile that makes him pause on the page. The first thing that stood out was that the cat hybrid is sporting light pink hair. He isn't sure if that's his natural hair or if it was dyed, for he had never seen a pink cat before. But then again, hybrids were specially bred so maybe the breeder decided to sneak some pink dye in. The next thing he noticed was that the reviews were all…quite controversial. Most of the previous owners said that this hybrid was calm and obedient at first but then started exhibiting strange behavior before it became too much to handle.
"Can I see this one?" Hao points at the hybrid's profile.
The lady furrows her brow. "Hanbin? Are you sure about him? Have you looked through the reviews?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Very well." The lady disappears through the door momentarily. After what seems like forever, she comes back with the cat hybrid in tow. Hao's eyes widen as he takes in the hybrid's appearance. First of all, Hanbin is almost the same height as him. If his fluffy pink ears counted towards his height, he might actually be taller than Hao. Second of all, Hanbin is gorgeous. Sharp delicate jaw, lovely cat eyes shadowed by the longest eyelashes he had ever seen on a man, cute blushy cheeks, and pretty cherry lips. His body looked soft yet sturdy, with broad shoulders and pronounced collarbones. Whoever created this hybrid clearly did their assignment right. Valedictorian, honors, whatever they deserve.
Hao snaps back to reality. He could not make an impulse purchase, for that would be a very financially dumb decision. Not even as the beautiful hybrid stares back at him expectantly with those sparkly eyes, soft pink tail swishing side to side, ears wiggling excitedly…
"Yeah, I'll buy him." Hao is totally going to keel over later.
Hanbin, as it turns out, was the clingiest cat-adjacent creature Hao had ever met. The moment he walked out of the adoption center, Hanbin had latched onto his arm and rubbed his cheek against his neck. Later, when Hao returned to his apartment, Hanbin hugged him from behind, strong arms encompassing his waist like a belt that refused to loosen. Hao gave him headpats in return, chalking it up to the excitement of finally being adopted.
A few days later, however, Hao made it clear that he needed some personal space in order to get his work done. To which Hanbin pouted and gave him the saddest puppy eyes- if that was even possible for a cat. "Look, kitten, I promise we can play after I get this paper done," Hao tried to console the hybrid whose eyes were near brimming with tears. Thankfully, Hanbin was convinced and soon found joy in providing for Hao in other ways, such as preparing fruit and snacks for the busy student.
Hanbin soon became a part of Hao's life like the missing puzzle piece of a puzzle. Every morning, Hao would wake up with soft pink fur tickling his neck. He'd freshen up and get ready for class while Hanbin makes breakfast. After eating, he would give Hanbin a good rub on the ears to get him purring, promising to come back in a few hours. When he returns to his apartment, the cat hybrid is right there waiting for him with a nice meal and plenty of warm hugs. If Hao has a lot of homework to do, he would let Hanbin lay across his lap, periodically giving headpats and chin scratches. After they each showered, Hao would dry and brush Hanbin's fur. Then, Hanbin would curl up in Hao's embrace as they drifted off to sleep.
"You look a lot happier these days," Gyuvin notes when they're eating in the cafeteria. "Did you follow my advice and get a cat hybrid?"
Hao can't stop the smile that spreads across his face. Of course, Gyuvin catches on immediately. "You actually did?? No way! Dude, you gotta show me pictures. I bet Ricky would love to meet them."
Unfortunately, Hanbin himself wasn't too keen on meeting anybody other than Hao. When Hao went home that day to break the news to Hanbin, it was also the first time Hao heard him hiss. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit taken aback.
"Hanbin! Gyuvin is a good person, trust me. And Ricky seems very nice from what I've heard. It would be good for you to get acquainted with another male cat hybrid."
Suddenly, he heard sniffling. Hanbin was crying. Fuck. "I-Is gege going to l-leave me too?" the cat hybrid sobbed, ears flattening against his head. "A-Am I n-not g-good enough for g-gege?"
Hao is nearly sent into a panic at the sudden outburst but he quickly moves to scoop up the crying kitty in his arms. "No! I am not leaving you, baby. I'm sorry, I just wanted you to have the opportunity to make some new friends. It's totally okay if you don't want to."
"Gege is the only one I need! P-Promise not to leave me?" His precious kitty stares at him with tear-filled eyes, red cheeks and button nose. Great. Now Hao feels like he is the villain for making the cat hybrid cry. Darn those kitty eyes.
"I promise not to leave you, baby," he replies with a kiss to the forehead. He can instantly see those shiny orbs light up and a pink tail waving with ecstacy. Oh, what a lucky man he is. Hanbin was just too cute to resist, it was almost fatal. Hao felt like he could make a bad choice sooner or later, and his conscience wouldn't even breathe a word of warning.
After that incident, Hao learned some new things about Hanbin, that he had many previous owners, and they all returned him at some point because they were just not compatible with him for some reason. This must be why Hanbin was distraught whenever Hao brought up other people. He couldn't imagine how disappointing it must be for him to have gone through so many owners, with the prospect of somebody who would love him wholly, only to be ditched again and again.
Zhang Hao promises himself he will keep Hanbin no matter what happens. He will make sure the pink cat hybrid never has to go through another heartbreak.
"I love you, kitty," he presses a kiss to Hanbin's temple before putting on his shoes. The cat hybrid blushes and hands him his backpack. "Good luck on your midterm, gege! You got this."
All the way to the classroom, Hao scrolls through his gallery looking at pictures and videos of Hanbin that he had saved on his phone. Most of them are of the hybrid curled up in bed, cheeks puffed with eggs, or chasing his tail around in circles. Some of the pictures also showcase Hanbin in cute clothing that Hao had bought and dressed him in. So adorable. He can feel his nerves calming down just by looking at the pink kitty through his phone, like a worker who kept a picture of his wife in his locket. If you asked Hao a few months ago, he would rather keel over dead than be caught cheesing like a fool.
Miraculously, Hao leaves the classroom in one piece. The midterm didn't fry his brain completely, although he did feel his future flash before his eyes when he saw the twelve part question on the fifth page. What's with professors making exam questions that have a bazillion parts to them? Just make them all separate questions, that would make life so much easier. At least he has somebody waiting for him at home to take his mind off the ridiculousness of modern education.
When he opens his apartment door, the air feels strangely empty. No sign of pink, no warm arms to hug him, not even a meow. This was very odd. Hao puts his shoes away and closes the door. Still no sign of Hanbin. "Hello? Gege's home!" He calls. Maybe the hybrid was taking an afternoon nap?
After several seconds, he hears faint whining coming from his room. Shit. His first thought was that Hanbin had gotten hurt. He rushes over, flinging his backpack and jacket, and grabbing a first-aid kit on the way. He bursts open the door, holding the box of bandages. "Hanbin! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"
He zones in on the hybrid on his bed, nose buried in Hao's sheets. He is lying on his side, facing away from the door but Hao can tell his face is red, there are tears glistening on his lashes, and he seems uncomfortable. The pink tail thumps sporadically on the sheets as the hybrid clamps the blanket between his legs, rubbing it between his thighs, gasping and moaning in short breaths-
"Oh my god, you have a fever!"
Hanbin lets out a pitiful whimper and meows louder. Hao scrambles to get his phone. "Hold on there, baby. I'll be right back."
In less than a second, he's got the one and only Kim Gyuvin on the line. "Gyuvin! Do you know if human tylenol works for cat hybrids? I've got half a bottle left, would that be enough?"
"Hol' up, hyung. Why do you need tylenol? Is your cat sick?"
"Yeah, I just came back from my midterm and he's got a fever. Which is so weird. Cuz like, he seemed totally fine this morning, and I'm definitely not sick so I don't know how he got sick while I was away."
"Uhhh…gimme a sec....Okay. Can you, like, describe his symptoms in detail?"
"Oh, yeah. He's got the typical fever symptoms, you know? Like burning up, all red in the face, quick breathing and stuff. Oh and he really likes my blanket for some reason, maybe it's a cat thing to help with the fever."
"Erm, Hao-hyung?"
"Yeah, Gyuvin?"
"Take this with a grain of salt, but I think your hybrid might not be having a fever. He might be in heat."
"What heat? I swear my apartment is room temperature. Maybe it's the blanket? I should go buy thinner blankets for him so he doesn't die of heat."
"...You know what, I'll let you search up what a cat hybrid heat is." And the call ends. Hao clicks his tongue. Youngsters these days be like "just search it up." Damn, if life was that easy, Hao wouldn't be suffering in college. Screw that, he would figure out just what Hanbin needed himself. After all, Hanbin is HIS hybrid. Not anybody else's. Nobody knows him better than Hao, that's for sure.
"Baby?" He coos as he returns to the room. "My friend said you're in heat. Just tell me what you need and I'll bring it to you."
Hanbin makes a muffled sound. "...G-gege…"
"Yes, gege is here," Hao sits next to the hybrid and rubs his ears, inciting a loud whine from the latter. Hanbin twists his upper body over to look up at Hao, who can now see that the cat's pupils are fully blown.
"Gege, I want you."
"I'm all yours, baby."
With a yelp, Hao finds himself pinned to the bed by the pink cat. His pants are tugged off and his underwear follows suit, leaving him completely exposed in the air. His face turns a bit red, since he had never been this exposed in front of Hanbin before. Before he knows it, his knees are lifted up and he feels a rough cat tongue on his….behind…?
He glances down and sure enough, Hanbin is licking his behind, hands hooked under his knees. "Hanbin! It's dirty down there!" His words only spur the hybrid to lick even faster. Okay…now that he thinks about it, it's normal for cats to lick other cats' buttholes, right? He's seen cats sniffing each other's butts out there on the streets. Maybe Hanbin is just pretending they're both cats. After his backside has been covered in saliva, he feels something big and hard touching him. He looks down and sees…
What the fuck. What…in the world…is that thing!? Sticking out between his adorable pink kitty's legs is apparently the longest, thickest member he had ever seen in his life, and now it's sliding against his saliva covered butthole, ready to turn his guts inside out.
Zhang Hao is so fucked. Literally.
The next morning, Hao is about to keel over for real. Scratch that, he already found himself kneeling against the toilet as he vomited out the contents of his stomach first thing in the morning. Damn. Hanbin really did rearrange his guts last night.
Honestly the entire last twelve hours had felt like a fever dream. First of all, the cat hybrid heat jumpscare had taken Hao by total surprise. He probably looked like a complete fool when the realization dawned on him that it was not a state of temperature but a mating cycle. Second of all, he realized he couldn't look at Hanbin the same again. Sure, he still cherished the pink kitty hybrid and found him objectively adorable, but after last night's events…Hao felt his face heat up at just the memory of it. It was hard not to remember, since his behind felt like it had been bulldozed by a foot-long rod, and his skin looked like he had been attacked by a wild animal. Speaking of the devil…
"Mrrow." The hybrid is hunched over at the door, peeking in at Hao as he checks himself in the mirror. His ears are flattened, tail between his legs, and giving Hao the saddest kitty eyes he had ever seen. Whatever. Hao pretends to ignore him since he is still salty about his stinging backside. That earns him another sad meow followed by a sniffle. Yep, Hao can't take it anymore.
"Look what you did!" He whips around, boops the hybrid on the nose, and aggressively tussles his fluffy pink hair. "You naughty, naughty kitty. Bad kitty. What is gege going to do now, huh? Can gege go out looking like this? Can gege even walk straight?"
Hanbin grabs at him desperately. "Please, please don't leave me. I'll do all the chores, I'll clean up all my messes, I'll even carry you all the time if you want me to."
Hao sighs,"You silly kitty. Of course I'm not mad- " Well, maybe a little bit because who the hell decided it was a good idea to give Hanbin such a cute face and a fucking ginormous co- "Anyway, I'm going to expect breakfast in bed and a nightly massage from now on."
Actually, Hao was half joking when he made those requests, but Hanbin, like the angel he normally is, took those to heart. So in exchange for helping Hanbin through heat, he got breakfast in bed on days where he didn't have morning classes and a full body massage every night before sleeping. If cat massages, the ones where they knead bread with their paws, were good, then cat hybrid massages were on another level. Either that, or Hanbin was just naturally a god at massaging because he managed to make Hao melt like putty each time.
And that was much needed because Hao's geophysics professor from hell had decided that the class was doing too good for his contentment, and he needed more students to cry from failure so he could drink their tears as appetizer. Okay, maybe Hao made that last part up in his head but his point still stands that the professor was assigning more useless readings and coming up with more topics to shove into the final exam. He couldn't wait for the end of the semester so that he could write up a very honest review.
Hao thinks he should also sue the professor for his mental and physical health. He had been dealing with bouts of nausea, fatigue, and mood swings ever since the midterm, which he attributed to stress. Somehow, that also evolved into stress-eating copious amounts of food and developing a taste for…unusual food combinations. Not to mention having to use the bathroom more frequently, probably also due to stress. Ugh. Was anybody else in that class suffering as much as he?
Hanbin, of course, was attentive as ever. He would take care of Hao whenever he felt nauseous or fatigued, he would cook whatever odd combination Hao felt like eating, he even cleaned up Hao after the human accidentally wetted himself on the way to bed. Even when Hao wasn't feeling like he was two seconds from keeling over, Hanbin would hover around him, putting his arms around his waist and gently caressing his belly.
A few weeks before the finals, however, Hao discovered that something was really off.
"I don't know what's wrong with my stomach!" He stands in front of the mirror, trying to button his jeans over his belly which had been bloated for several days. "Like I know IBS sucks but it's never been this bad to the point I can't even buckle my pants. Maybe I should stop eating ranch pancakes?"
There's a meow and a bouncing sound on the bed, and then Hanbin slithers up behind him as though he had been summoned. The hybrid snakes his arms around Hao's waist, hands feeling his bloated belly. "I don't see anything wrong with your stomach. You look beautiful as always," he says, nuzzling his cheek against Hao's ear.
Now that Hao can see their reflections in the mirror, he realizes that Hanbin is actually a very handsome man. He had always thought of the hybrid as cute like a cat, but recently, he began to see Hanbin as…somewhere akin to a close friend? Maybe more like a boyfriend…but no, that would be wishful thinking. As much as he imagined Hanbin as the perfect boyfriend, he was also afraid the hybrid would be weirded out by such a request. So here, he was stuck wavering between a pet-owner relationship and a best friend-roommate relationship.
But first things first, Hao needed to figure out why his belly was so bloated these days. Putting together all that he had gathered so far, he managed to come to a reasonable conclusion.
"Gyuvin, as a pre-med student, please confirm this for me. Can constipation be caused by stress?"
Gyuvin spits out his drink and starts wheezing uncontrollably in the middle of broad daylight. Hao slaps him on the shoulder. "Dude! I'm serious! This is a health issue." He chokes down his drink and clears his throat. "Short answer, yes. Long answer? Hmm, it depends."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, can you give me more context?"
"Okay so you know how I've been dealing with that professor from hell? After the midterm, he decided to torture us more so like, I've been getting all these stress symptoms."
"Stress symptoms?"
"Yeah, you know, like random nausea, stress-eating, and using the bathroom more. And now my stomach is apparently bloated and it's not going away. Do you think I should sue my professor?"
"And this started after the midterm? The same day you called me about your hybrid's, uhhh, heat?"
"Yeah. So weird, right?...Oh my god, what if the professor cursed us both?"
Gyuvin stares at him for a long ten seconds. "...You know what, Hao-hyung? You might want to search up pregnancy symptoms." Hao makes a mental note never to ask Gyuvin for medical related advice again.
Since his belly showed no sign of slimming, Hao decided that he was going to learn to live with chronic constipation. Maybe one day, he could even write a book about it. If the trend these days was to capitalize off of anything and everything, he wasn't going to hold back. Screw geophysics and the stupid exam, he was going to start studying gut health and microbiotics. And then, he would become known as the man who overcame the worst case of constipation ever- Alright, that was enough coping.
Truth be told, Zhang Hao was about to keel over. Not just from fatigue or nausea, but because his belly was now literally round enough that he had trouble trying to stay balanced on his feet without falling on his face. Now every morning, he would be clutching onto Hanbin's arms as he waddled out of bed and hopefully made it to the bathroom in time. Then, he'd choose the thickest coat ever to hide his round figure and play the game of "how many people can you avoid in a day" as he navigates his classes.
For all of Hao's cursing and complaining, Hanbin seemed to be the opposite. In fact, he seemed to take a new obsession with Hao's constipated belly. He even took extra care to massage it during his nightly massages, to help with the digestion. Sometimes, Hao would even wake up in the middle of the night to find a pair of glowing cat eyes staring intently at his bump…Wow, Hanbin seemed to really care about his gut health!
On the dreaded day of the final exam, Hao wakes up with his sheets damp and pajama pants soaked, and he wants this day to end already. Just several more hours, and he will be free from that cursed geophysics course and the hellish professor. Then, he will change his major to something else less stressful because he genuinely doesn't think his body can physically handle any more stress. Geosciences be damned.
"Gege, do you really have to go? You should stay home today if you're not feeling well." Hanbin is more skittish than usual, checking up on Hao's condition after cleaning up his mess that morning.
Hao groans as he bends over to put on his shoes, which Hanbin rushes to assist him with. "Sixty percent of my grade depends on this stupid exam and there are no make-ups cuz the professor hates our guts. Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I turn in that paper."
He arrives at the classroom just as the test is about to begin. The professor gives him the nastiest eye as he goes to collect his paper, and he just knows that the old man is manifesting his downfall. After what seems like an eternity of fighting the higher education demons, he finally turns in his paper and waddles out of the room. He swears he felt something kick in his stomach, but it was probably just the gas bubbles…
Well, turns out it was more than gas bubbles, because the cramps build up in intensity as he returns to his apartment. He had never experienced anything like this before, not even on his worst bowel movements. It quite literally feels like his body is about to explode with every step he takes, especially as he's trying to keep his composure in public. Finally, he bursts through the apartment door, hunched over holding his stomach, and gasps, "Holy shit! I'm about to blow up a toilet!"
Immediately, a pair of arms half-carry him into the apartment. "Oh, thank goodness, Hanbin, I'm boutta fucking sh-"
Wait. This wasn't the way to the bathroom… "Hanbin, where are we going?? I need a toilet!"
"Please trust me with this, gege."
"No, I can't, what are you doin- "
"Zhang Hao! Calm down and trust me."
The next sequence of events happens in a blur. First, he is maneuvered to lie on the bed on top of a towel, his clothes are removed, and then Hanbin is kneading his stomach like dough. Then, he doesn't even know for how long he laid there suffering and fighting the demons in his own gut until finally the cramps disappear. He looks down at his now flat stomach and slumps down in relief.
Finally, he was free from constipation. He was never. NEVER. Doing this again. Fuck constipation. Fuck IBS. And fuck lactose intolerance, just for extra measure.
"Mrrrrow….mrrow…" As he lays there panting, the sound of tiny mewling reaches his ears. He looks to Hanbin but sees that his mouth hasn't moved. "Hanbin, is that you meowing?"
Hanbin shakes his head, beaming with joy. "No, gege. It's our beautiful baby kittens that you just gave birth to."
He reaches between Hao's legs and scoops up a tiny pink furball, the same shade as Hanbin's hair. The furball squeaks and unravels to reveal a pair of triangular ears, two round eyes, a tiny snout, a fluffy tail, and four stubby little legs that can barely support themselves. Hanbin deposits the newborn kitten on Hao's chest, where it immediately latches on for milk. He scoops up another identical pink kitten and brings it to Hao's other breast. Finally, he picks up a third kitten and nuzzles it against his own cheek, cooing.
Hao just lays there trying to process what had just happened. After five seconds, his brain just gives up trying to reason and he just accepts his new reality…as a cat mom of three. And his precious pink cat hybrid who was apparently now his…kitten daddy?
Yeah, maybe now would be a good time to drop out of the department of geosciences.