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Buggy looked in the mirror, looking himself over. His blue shoulder-length hair was in low pigtails with hair clips to hold back loose hairs. He wore a baby blue Swiss dot dress with shoulder ruffles and spaghetti straps. He had put on light pink lipstick and blush. He decided on neutral colors for eyeshadow and did a small wing with black eyeliner.
He thought he looked pretty.
He just wished he didn’t have a big red ball as a nose.
He twirled around, letting the dress skirt float up. He couldn’t help but smile. He placed a hand on his flat chest, the top of the dress fitting loosely. His smile faded when he saw his small flat chest. He wished it was bigger like girls around his age.
He looked at himself in the mirror again. He hated how boyish he looked. He wanted to look more girly, more feminine. He felt weird to look in the mirror and see a boy, not a girl.
He hated it.
He felt uncomfortable.
He felt disgusting.
He wanted to be who he was on the inside on the outside too but he felt like he would be judged for wanting to be himself. For wanted to express how he wanted to be a girl.
He then heard the sound of a door squeaking open. He quickly turned his head to see the other cabin boy; Shanks. Buggy looked for anywhere to hide himself but there wasn’t any. “Buggy? What are you wearing?” The redhead asked, his head tilted to the side in wonder.
Buggy stumbled over his words as he fists the dress's skirt. He pushed his lips together, not knowing what to tell him. How to explain what’s going on with him?
Shanks then ran out the door yelling for their captain. Buggy panicked and followed him, trying to get him to shut up. He yelled after him, begging him to shut up, not wanting the others to know.
By the time he caught up to him, they were already on the front deck where everyone was. They were partying since they had found some good booze.
“Guys! Buggy is wearing a dress!” Shanks yelled, catching everyone’s attention. Buggy stood a couple of feet behind the other as he looked at the adults in fear. He fisted his dress again as he started to shake, tears welding up in his eyes.
They all looked at the young boy with wide eyes and curiosity. Buggy on the other hand felt judged. He glared at the redhead and yelled angrily, “You asshole!” Shanks looked at him confused before being punched in the jaw. Buggy ran back to the bathroom with tears running down his face. He slammed the door behind him and locked it before sliding down the door and cuddling into himself as she cried.
He heard and felt the knocks on the door and heard the voices that called for him worriedly. He didn’t care as he cried into his arms. He pulled the hair pins and hair tie out of his hair and threw them across the room.
“Buggy, open the door!” He heard his captain yell worriedly. Buggy stood up as he let out hiccups and sobs. He pulled the dress off from over his head and slammed it on the ground. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw how messed up his makeup got before looked down at his thighs where he saw old scars and new cuts peeking out from under his underwear where he used a knife with sea prism on the blade to cut his skin.
He let out a loud sob as he fell to his knees and placed his hands on his thighs.
The door was then busted down and the crew came in worriedly. They saw the dress had been discarded on the ground and the makeup that was on the counter by the sink. They looked at Buggy who was looking back at them with wide eyes as he started to crawl away from them towards the wall.
“Buggy, we’re not going to hurt you,” Roger told him gently. Buggy pressed his back into the wall as he looked past him at Shanks who stood by Rayleigh in front of the door. Roger looked back at the redhead. “Shanks,” he said. The boy flinched. “Come here.” He walked up to him. “What do you need to tell him?”
Shanks looked at his best friend with a frown, “I’m sorry, Buggy. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Rayleigh then walked up beside them, “Buggy, we don’t care if you like to wear girl clothes.” Buggy looked at the crew, who nodded in agreement. They’ve always known something was odd with the little clown.
Buggy looked down at his lap where all the tiny cuts were and pulled his pant legs down to cover them. Rayleigh raised a brow at the action and walked over towards the clown. He knelt down and pulled one of Buggy’s legs to him and pulled up his pants leg. His eyes widened. Buggy looked away as he shrunk into himself.
“Buggy, what is this?” The blond asked. Roger walked up behind his right hand and looked at the boy's leg, seeing the cuts on his thigh.
“Are you cutting yourself?” Roger asked, saddened. Buggy pulled his leg away from Rayleigh as he held his legs to his chest, more tears falling down his cheeks. Roger sighed before telling his crew to leave to give them some privacy. Rayleigh stayed while Crous took Shanks, closing the door behind them. “Tell us what’s going on, Buggy,” he told him, almost beggingly. The two were worried.
Buggy then started to speak between hiccups and sobs, “I don’t want to be a boy.” The two looked at him saddly.
Roger patted his head and said, “What do you want to be then?”
“A girl,” he sniffled as he rubbed his nose.
Rayleigh put a hand on Buggy’s jaw and lifted his head. Buggy looked at him with red eyes and a puffy face. “Buggy, you can be whoever you want to be. We’ll support you no matter what you choose to be,” he told the small clown. Roger nodded, not liking seeing the young one cry.
“So you don’t care that I want to wear girl clothes and make up?” Buggy questioned. They nodded. He pushed his lips together as he looked at the ground.
“How about on the next island we get you some nice dresses and some things for your hair,” Rayleigh told them softly. Buggy nodded. “Now how about you clean yourself up and put back on the dress so you can join the rest of the crew?” Buggy only nodded again before the two helped the clown up. They then left him to get freshen back up and get dressed.
They went to the front deck where everyone had gathered to see if the clown was ok. “How is he?” Shanks asked.
“She’s ok,” Roger told them. They raised an eyebrow in confusion at the pronouns used.
Rayleigh then explained to them about the whole situation with Buggy- how ‘he’ wanted to be a ‘she’.