Since I survived, I realised

by Tiredrosefall

Summary:

Tup has settled into a quiet life, and he likes it, really, he does. But he worries that Fives had drawn too far into himself, becoming much quieter and more contained than the brother he remembers. So when a figure from their past bulldozes back into their lives, can things work out?

Notes:

I have this weird little AU in my head where everybody lives (especially Tech) and I don’t plan on providing context for how they survived so… enjoy, I guess.

Chapter 1

Hey, I have somehow forgotten how to make it add chapters automatically so… time for a foreword I guess?

This has not been beta-read so if you spot any typos, let me know and I can fix them. Also, if you feel like it, come say hi on my tumblr, @tiredrosefall (I’m fairly new so I don’t have many posts haha)

Chapter 2: I just woke up from a dream/Where you and I had to say goodbye

Summary:

Tup reflects on his new life and reunites with an old friend.

Notes:

I chose to write this from Tup’s perspective because
1) who doesn’t love Tup? But also
2) I think it’s a really interesting dynamic when the story comes from the perspective of somebody who isn’t necessarily the main character, and I think Tup is a good choice because by this point in the story he knows Fives really well, and I think he could probably relate to the other characters in it better than Fives can
3) SLIGHT SPOILER:
I just like writing about how fucking weird the whole Domino Twin thing is from an outside perspective

I promise there will be POV switches eventually though

Tup was, for the most part, enjoying civilian life. Obviously, the whole “Galactic Empire” thing and Order 66 had put a damper on… well, the whole galaxy, but Tup’s quiet corner of the universe was mostly unaffected. There was only one imperial garrison, full of nattie soldiers who’d never seen a clone in their lives and were remarkably easy to dodge, and the small rebel factions never bothered with their tiny, backwater moon. Why should they? It was peaceful, and entirely out of the way of the more war-torn planets.

Tup worked in a club- the only establishment on their moon that was regularly busy- serving drinks at the bar. Jen, the perpetually frazzled, twenty year old owner had inherited the run-down building from her parents when they died, a few weeks before Tup and Fives had arrived on planet. She’d been desperate for help, and they hadn’t needed much in the way of money, so it had been a match made in heaven. The three of them, and Lala, the Twi’lek doctor who both handled their finances and took care of their drunkest patrons, had built it back up and turned it into the best, most respectable club in the system. It made Tup irrationally proud- and he knew Fives felt it too.

Over the four years they’d been here, both Jen and Lala had become some of Tup’s favourite people in the galaxy (along with Fives and two long-dead Torrent troopers whose names still hurt to even think), though he found it incredibly frustrating how the two girls seemed to be dancing around each other. He was all for a good will they, won’t they? but not one that lasted for four kriffing years. He was one longing glance away from locking them in a cupboard together, juvenile as it was.

Fives was more detached than him- but both girls knew (at least most of) his story, so they didn’t mind. He did odd jobs around the club, fixing things when they broke and improving them even when they didn’t. He also acted as security- because even if the locals didn’t know what a clone looked like, Fives and Tup were still six foot tall and armed- plus, Fives had taken to working out obsessively after Echo died, so he was also rather bulky. Not that they really had to do much beyond deal with the occasional rowdy drinker, anyway.

Fives had been restless recently, and Tup thought that it was to do with the mundanity of their life- something he liked, but he wasn’t so sure about Fives. Clones weren’t built for peacetime, and Fives even less so. He’d seen too much combat, lost too much to the fight to ever feel comfortable leaving it to somebody else. But he was doing it, for Tup’s sake, and for that he was grateful. He just wished he knew what to do to help him.

 

---

Tup was mindlessly pouring a drink, chatting amicably to a regular- Kez, her name was, a lively Togrutan woman in her thirties who looked just a little too like he imagined Commander Tano would have, if it wasn’t for Emperor Palpatine. And the clones, a tiny voice in his subconscious whispered, nastily, if not for Rex and Jesse and all the rest of your brothers. He ignored it. He’d gotten very good at that recently. After the chip, he didn’t give much weight to the voices in his head.

Kez was also one of the few people here who knew what Fives and Tup were- the only one who had really been involved in the war. “So, soldier boy,” Kez shouted over the music, taking a sip of her drink as Tup handed off his newest creation, “tell me, what’ve you been up to while I was away?” Kez had been gone for three weeks, on her honeymoon. Anywhere else, plenty of stuff would have happened. On this moon? Not so much. “Nothing interesting. Just business as usual.”

“Aw,” Kez pouted, “you’re so boring sometimes.” Tup grinned at her (a real one, unlike his easy, customer service smile) and began cleaning a dirty glass. “Ah, you know me, Kez. I steer clear of trouble wherever I can.”

A long time ago, it would have been false. He hadn’t gone looking for trouble, of course, but back then it was hard to avoid. More often than not, it came in the form of two mischievous ARC troopers, or his young Jedi Commander. He’d never thought he would miss the nights when Fives and Echo successfully dragged him and Dogma out with them, and inevitably into some form of mischief. But he did.

He missed Fives’ easily given smiles, and he missed the rest of his brothers with such intensity that it hurt. First Echo had died at the Citadel, and then Dogma had been shipped off after Umbara, never to be seen again. And Tup had read the reports. The 501st’s Venator had gone down, taking Rex, Jesse, Commander Tano and the rest of the 332nd with it. Kez’s face darkened, and she leaned closer, as if to share a secret. “About that, soldier boy.” Her tone was ominous, and Tup found himself pulled closer, itching to hear what she had to say. “What about it?”

“I heard some rumours ‘bout a group of mercs that arrived in town earlier. Four men, a hound and a kid. All of ‘em wearing armour.” She paused, staring at him meaningfully. “ Clone armour.” Tup was silent for a moment, unsure how to feel. If they were mercs, they likely weren’t with the Empire, but they could still be a threat. Technically, both Tup and Fives had been

marked as mentally unstable, and Traitors to the republic before their death reports were ever released. It was how most clones remembered them, he knew. “Thanks, Kez. I’ll keep an eye out.” He thanked her quietly, then scanned the room for Fives. “Back left,” Kez said helpfully, “fixin’ that faulty speaker.”

“Thanks.” Tup said, turning to tap Jen on the arm. He shouted in her ear that he was going to find Fives, then made their symbol for trouble. Her lips tightened, but she nodded and waved him off.

Thanks to Kez, he’d spotted in his brother (in the middle of his hourly patrol of the club), but that was only the first half of the battle. He had to weave through the thick crowd of flailing bodies to reach his brother, but when he did, it only took one look at his face for Fives to realise something was going on.

He found himself being grabbed by the arm and pulled (not roughly) into the storage cupboard. “Everything okay, vod?” Fives asked, brows scrunched and muscles tensed with worry. “Yeah, all good, don’t worry.” He assured him.

Fives’ eyebrow lifted. “Sure about that?” Tup paused, weighing how best to put this. “Kez says there’s mercs on planet.”

“O…kay. That’s fine- we’ve dealt with this before. Just ask Lala to cover your shift if they come in.” Tup chewed on his lip before sighing. “She says they wore clone armour.” Fives’ body locked up.

“Clones? Here?”

“If you want to leave, it’s fine. Jen won’t care, trust me.” Tup knew exactly how hard it was for his brother to see other clones. After all, he’d nearly been killed by them.

“But…”

“I’ll be okay, ori’vod. I can handle myself.” Fives searched his eyes, then nodded slowly. “Fine, but the minute I hear trouble, I’m coming right back.”

“Of course you are.” He said with a sigh. Fives chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Promise you’ll at least try to stay out of trouble?”

“Promise, vod.”

---

Surprisingly, he made it most of the night without incident. It was only when Jen tapped him on the shoulder and (shouting over the music) told him with a glint of mischief in her eyes that it was time to take the bins out.

He levelled a look at her. “And you can’t do this why?” Jen threw him a dramatic pout. “I just got my nails done!”

“And your point is?” He crossed his arms, hiding his smile.

“Well, if you must know…” she trailed off, her teasing demeanour shifting into real nerves. “I’m asking Lala out tonight?” The only word he could think of to describe how he felt in that moment was… buffering. He stared at her, sure his jaw must be hanging open. “Uhh, T? You still there?” He blinked rapidly, aware he was now smiling ridiculously wide. “No. Way.” He dashed forwards, lifting her into a hug. Jen shrieked, but allowed herself to be spun round.

“You’re finally doing it?” He asked, and received an eye roll in response.
“Yes, now would you put me down before you rumple my dress?” She said fondly, patting his shoulders. He was still grinning as set her down, though he privately thought that perhaps keeping the dress pristine was a lost cause.

Everything Jen owned tended to end up stained with oil from the tiny garage she had recently taken over, or paint from the art class she and Fives attended. Even if they weren’t, they were always crumpled from lying in a heap on the floor for days on end.

“I’ll get the bins,” he told her, “so long as you get your girl.” Jen flushed pink, tugging nervously at a frizzy brown curl. “Just go do your job, will you?” She said, trying to sound irritated. It didn’t work, though- her grin, half hidden behind her riot of curls, gave away her good mood. Tup just saluted over his shoulder, and walked on.

---

Once he was securely bundled up against the cold wind, hood tucked around his face, gloves on, he made his way to the back, huge black bin bags in hand.

He was about to open the door, leading to the back alley where they kept the bins when he heard the voices. His hand halted, centimetres away from the door. The voices were low and quiet, but he would know them anywhere, because it was the same voice he heard every time he opened his mouth.

“-kidding me? You’re seriously making me do this?” One asked angrily. His voice was more of a drawl, reminding Tup of the skinny blue bounty hunter who had passed through about a year ago. He’d made the mistake of making some snide remark about Lala, and been thrown out on his ass. This voice gave him the same unsettling feeling.

“Yes, I am. You two fit in better than Wreck and I, and you know it.” Another replied. Tup’s hand flexed automatically. This voice was far more like a regular trooper’s, only much rawer and gravelly. Like he’d spent a long time screaming. “Come on, Crosshair, it can’t be that bad.” He sucked in a breath. This voice was female, with a strange accent, but it was undeniably a clone’s. What the…

“ You don’t have to go in there.” Retorted the first clone. “It’s just a club, Cross.” Said a new voice- strong and authoritative. Probably the leader. “And no way is Omega going within ten feet of that place.”

“I’m standing right outside it.” The girl argued, but nobody responded. “I dunno. If Cross doesn’t wanna do it, does he really have to?” The next voice was far too loud, and was followed by a collective shush from the group.
Tup’s blood iced over. Four men, a hound and a kid , Kez had said. He’d been hoping she was wrong, even now, but this felt like confirmation. “Look, you all knew what was happening when you agreed to do this.” The gravelly one said, a little irritated, “nobody said you had to.”

There was silence, followed by a sigh. “Of course I’ll do it. I just wish Tech was here. He’s better at this stuff.” The first clone said, his tone much gentler now.

“I know. But Tech’s busy helping Phee, and this is important.”

“Important to Rex, anyway.” The leader said, “and if we can help Rex, we should.” Tup’s hand, still stretched out towards the door handle, fell to his side, and he staggered back a step. Rex. He dropped the bin bags with a crash, and the voices outside went silent as he moved, reaching for the door.

He practically flew through it, hood still covering his face, and into a circle of clones. He hadn’t realised quite how close they had been, but he didn’t really care.

They were all staring at him- well, the ones whose faces he could see, anyway. Two still had helmets on, and he noticed briefly that one was huge, and the other had a prosthetic hand- and maybe legs, too, if the silvery gleam was indeed metal. His first thought was, these are weird clones .

The girl looked oddly like a much younger, female version of Rex, and one of the clones was tall, skinny and had a nasty burn mark on his head. The other had hair way past regulation length- very like his, actually- and a skull tattoo covering half his face. In short, none of them looked like regular clones, and he wondered for a brief second if he’d been mistaken.

But all of that was over in a few seconds, as he blurted, “Did you just say Rex?” Then he yelled in surprise as his feet lost purchase on the floor and he found himself being hoisted into the air, massive arms banding around his chest.

He lashed out on instinct, and was rewarded with an ow! The massive clone momentarily released him, and he felt the whoosh of his hood falling back as he landed.

The clone with the prosthetics had removed his helmet to reveal his face (holy kriff, that face ), and Tup caught his eye momentarily as his feet were swept out from under him and he hit the ground hard. The far-too-pale clone’s eyes caught on his tattoo and he flinched, eyes widening.

“Wrecker, wait! Stop!” He shouted, lunging forwards as Tup was lifted yet again into the air. Both of them halted, Tup’s right arm braced on the giant’s and his left inches away from elbowing him in the face. “Echo?” The giant- Wrecker- said, uncertainly. And just like that, the world fell away beneath his feet, and Tup stopped struggling.

---

“ Echo? ” The clone nodded, making a hand gesture Tup didn’t recognise. Wrecker set him down gently, mumbling an apology, and Tup stumbled as he tried to keep his feet under him. “I… Echo ?” He asked again, feeling a little like a broken holo-recorder.

“That’s my name, vod.” He said wryly, lips twitching into a familiar smile.

“But… but you’re supposed to be dead.” Tup stammered. That same eyebrow lift that Tup remembered had his stomach tangling in knots. “So are you.” Cautiously, the clone- Echo, holy kriff, Echo - stepped towards him. He offered Tup his hand to shake, and he found himself shaking his head to stop himself from crying. Tup ignored the hand, and hugged him.

He hadn’t known Echo for a particularly long time, not like Fives or Rex had- heck, not even like Jesse and Kix- but he’d done a lot for Tup, and was a major factor in helping Dogma feel comfortable on the legion.

So he might not have known him long, but that didn’t mean Tup cared less about him. Also, it felt really good to see a brother again. Meeting one he knew, one who had somehow risen from the grave, felt like a miracle.

“How are you here?” He asked thickly, pulling away. Echo grinned at him. “If you mean here as in this planet, then Rex got a hint about rogue clones here, so I came to follow it up. But if you meant in general…” he paused, eyes going vacant for a second, “well, that’s a long story. And I’d wager you’ve got one, too.” Tup nodded, his heart picking up when he realised Echo didn’t know the best bit of this whole thing yet. Fives. He didn’t know Fives was here, and now Tup could tell him. “Ori’vod, there’s some-“

“Step away from him.” Kriff. Echo spun around, and Tup’s head snapped up. Over Echo’s shoulder, he could see Fives, one blaster pointed at Echo and the other at… the clone girl. Omega, he recalled. Instantly, the strange clones had their own blasters out, aimed right at Fives. “Wait!” Tup yelped, pushing past Echo.
“Tup! What are you doing? Are you okay?” Fives demanded.

“I’m fine, Fives. I promise I’m fine.” Behind him, Echo inhaled sharply, fumbling so badly he almost dropped his blaster. The skinny clone shot him a worried glance, but Tup didn’t have time to coddle anyone’s feelings right now. “Now put your blaster away before you get shot again.”

“Are you kidding me?” Fives exclaimed.

“Again?”

“Who are you?”

“ Fives? ” Echo’s voice sounded all wrong as he said it. Logically, there was very little difference from how he’d been speaking in the last few minutes, but Tup had known him before… whatever it was that happened to him.

Once, that name had rolled off his tongue sounding like cotton candy, like waves lapping gently at the shore, like stars twinkling gently. He’d coated every sound of it with affection and irritation and love. Tup knew because it was the way he’d used to say Dogma’s name. It was the kind of bond that only occurred between twins, with the other half of your soul.
Now, it was all broken and devastated and hopeless. But clearly, something about it gave his brother pause, because for a split second, Fives’ blasters wavered, a frown passing over his face, but he shook his head firmly and readjusted them- although they were thankfully no longer aimed at Omega.

Tup had seen their reactions when they realised she was in danger, and he didn’t fancy seeing what they’d do to Fives if he actually hurt her. Not that he would. Fives was too honourable to hurt a kid. “I’m not doing anything until they let you go.”

“Oh, for kriff’s sake, Fives, do you see any binders? They haven’t kidnapped me.”

“Not yet.” Muttered the skinny clone.

“ Crosshair .” Echo snapped, and the skinny clone shrugged. “Alright,” Fives holstered his weapons, eyeing the other clones suspiciously, “why don’t we start with an introduction, hm? As my vod just announced, my name is Fives. And I’m sure he’s told you already but his name if Tup.”

“We know.” Crosshair mumbled sardonically, earning a glare from Omega. The one Tup had pinned as the leader out his blaster away, stepping forward to shake Fives’ hand. “I’m Hunter, and this is my squad, Clone Force 99.” He paused, glancing back at the others, “or at least, we were.” His squad? Tup found himself thinking, an irrational burst of jealousy making his stomach squirm, but Echo’s 501st. One of ours.

“Ninety-nine,” Fives said softly, a tiny smile pricking at his lips, “good name.” He and Hunter looked at each other for a moment, but it was interrupted by a soft, broken laugh. “Tup, you better start explaining because right now, my head is about to explode.” Echo said, his voice slightly too high.

Tup knew when Fives and Echo finally looked each other in the eye, not just because he was waiting for their reactions, but because he knew them. Knew the way that Echo had always straightened slightly under Fives’ gaze, knew how Fives’ eyes softened. He saw it all again now, only this time, Fives physically recoiled, and Echo’s eyes were glassy, as though he were about to burst into tears. “Fives,” Tup said gently, “it’s Echo.”

Fives eyes squeezed shut, his head shaking for the briefest of seconds, and then Echo spoke. Just one word, but it sent them both staggering towards each other nonetheless. “Fives.” Tup and the rest of Clone Force 99 watched with rapt attention as the twins moved towards each other. This was, it occurred to Tup, their first time seeing the twins together.

For Tup, it was not. It was the hundredth, maybe even the thousandth. He knew how it worked, how they always seemed to orbit each other, even when they were far apart. He’d caught Fives turning to somebody beside him on more than one occasion, seen how he always left his right side empty when he fought- so used to having Echo there to guard it. He wondered if Echo still did the same.

It was odd, watching this. Because it was so familiar, and yet so different.

Echo moved differently now, his prosthetics making his movements a little more heavy, more forceful. Fives’ footfalls had become cautious over the years, precise and stealthy- as though he’d never quite stopped sneaking through the halls of Kamino. They had almost… switched roles, he realised. Where Echo now filled the air with his presence, Fives was almost shadow-like.

When they reached each other, Fives reached out slowly- so, so, slowly and took Echo’s metallic hand. His head was bent, and Tup couldn’t tell if any words were being exchanged, but he could see the way Fives swept a thumb across the metal, the way those shiny, robotic fingers curled around his. Fives released a shuddering breath, raising his head.

“Please tell me you’re real.” He whispered. Echo’s answering smile looked pained.  “I’m real, vod. I’m real and I’m here and I’m so, so sorry.” Tup didn’t know what for, but Fives seemed to understand.
He didn’t mind being left out of the loop, because they had always been like this, and seeing his older brothers again, reunited and standing side by side once more… it was enough to make Tup want to burst into tears on the spot.

Chapter 3: Nobody’s promised tomorrow

Summary:

The batch meet Jen and Lala, and Tup and Fives receive some unwelcome news.

Notes:

This was shorter than planned but I have another chapter that should be coming out soon 🤞
Sorry about the long wait, ✨things✨ were happening

Jen had taken one look at Fives’ face- stuck somewhere between shock and grief- and led them soundlessly to the back room. Lala rose from her chair immediately, long pink lekku swinging slightly as she rushed over. She took one of Tup’s hands in her left and one of Fives’ in her right, demanding to know if they were alright.

Then the curtain rustled and Jen stepped through, Echo and his new squad in tow (minus Omega’s Lurca hound, whose name she had informed him was Batcher, who had been made to wait outside). Lala clocked the armour and the weapons, fingers clenching with surprising strength. “I know you!” She cried, and Tup blinked in surprise.

“You do?” Wrecker asked.
“Yes! You were on Ryloth- you aided in the Syndullas’ escape from the Empire.” She released Fives and Tup, bowing deeply, to which all of clone force 99 seemed discomfited by. Crosshair shifted, and for a moment he looked like he was trying to hide. Lala straightened, fixing Crosshair with a glare. “And I remember you too, CT-9904. Do not think that the people of Ryloth will be so ready to forget your crimes.” Tup exchanged an alarmed glance with Fives. His crimes? Just what kind of people had Echo fallen in with? “He couldn’t help it.” Omega interjected, though not indignantly. Lala softened a little. “I know. But my people have suffered too long to forgive even the puppet of our oppressors.” Crosshair made no move to defend himself, and neither did his squad. Echo’s face was carefully blank, reminding Tup of the times when Rex would grill him about some prank or other he and Fives had played on the captain.

Once upon a time, Fives would have been able to read that face like a book. Tup wondered whether  he still could, or if that specific ability had been lost to time. “Okay!” Jen’s voice came out a little too high pitched, too breathy, and she hurriedly cleared her throat. “Why don’t we get you all settled back here, hm? Then Lala and I can return to our night and keep out of your way while you sort out… all this. If you want to stay the night, there’s a spare room two floors up next to the bathroom.”

“That’s my room.” Fives mumbled, though he sounded a little out of it. “Never seem to use it, though.” She said under her breath. “Okay! I think that’s everything, don’t you, T?” Jen shot Tup a very pointed glare, and flicked her eyes to Lala. “Right! Yeah! Drinks, anyone? No?” Even to his own ears, it could not have sounded less casual, and it garnered looks from almost everyone present- with the exception of Omega and Wrecker, who seemed very absorbed in their own conversation about… fish? Tup found himself briefly intrigued, but a sharp pinch in his side from Jen had him hurrying away from her and pouring himself a far too large glass of alcohol, then setting the bottle down in the centre of the table before sitting gracelessly on a chair.

Fives followed him robotically, taking the seat to Tup’s left. Omega and Wrecker were quick to follow, but he caught the wary glance shared by Hunter and Crosshair before they hesitantly sat down on either side of Tup and Fives. Tup felt a little like he was being set up for an ambush, but he ignored the feeling in favour of watching Echo.

His brother seemed to be stuck where he stood, gaze trained on Fives. He looked torn, caught between fleeing and breaking down. Tup recognised the feeling, but before either he or Fives could say a word, Omega turned to face him. “Echo, tell Wrecker that he can’t take Batcher with him on his boat.” She demanded, waving a frustrated hand in the large clone’s direction. “Hey! She likes it! I’m just giving her what she wants!” Wrecker protested. Echo unfroze, an easy grin that had always promised trouble rising effortlessly to his face. It was strange, seeing old expressions he recognised on Echo’s new face. “I dunno, Megs. If Batcher wants to become a fisherwoman, who are we stop her?” He finally approached the table, affectionately ruffling Omega’s hair before dropping into the seat beside her. “But she can’t swim!”

“Actually, Lurca hounds are more than capable of swimming. They’re better at it than some sentients.” Echo told her nonchalantly. If Tup didn’t remember so well the way Echo had devoured any and all information he received access to, he might’ve thought he’d just made it up on the spot. Omega scowled, but before anyone could get another word in, Crosshair set his blaster on the table with a thunk. “Nobody,” he announced, “is putting my dog on a boat.” The argument ceased after that, and there was a moment of awkward silence.

“So, uh… maybe we should rewind?“ Hunter suggested, and Echo shot him an amused glance. “Rewind? Really, sarge?”

“Shut it, Echo. I just mean, maybe we should try and figure out what exactly is happening.”

“I’d like to know that, too, actually.” Tup chimed in. “Yeah. For example, what happened to you, Echo? What are you lot doing here ? And why aren’t you with the Empire?” Fives added, coming out of his shell. Tup also wanted to know those things, so he nodded his agreement. “Uhh, there isn’t really a straight answer to any of those questions.” Omega told them, wincing a little. “We’ve got time.” Tup replied, tugging one leg up to rest in his lap. Omega glanced nervously between the rest of Clone Force 99, and Echo nodded, waving a hand. “It’s fine, Megs. They know.”

“Well, I’m a clone,” Tup had already guessed that, but it was good to have confirmation, “a female one, obviously. And I’m not the only one. My sister Emerie is also one of us, and neither of us ever had inhibitor chips.” Tup’s body went cold and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Fives shoot to his feet. “How do you know about them?” Tup knew Fives didn’t mean to be aggressive, but the others didn’t.

Wrecker and Echo shifted defensively towards Omega, and Tup couldn’t help but stare. There was a distinct sense of wrongness in that single action- that Echo was siding against Fives, even something as small as that, and the way Fives physically flinched told Tup he’d noticed too. “Omega knew about them from Nala Se, and an old friend helped us remove them on Bracca.” Hunter said, slowly, as though aware he was walking through a minefield. Tup was about to ask who this “friend” was, but Echo seemed to have beaten him. “ Rex ,” he corrected his sergeant, “Rex helped us.”

Tup’s breathing stalled, fingers clenching on the table as Five’s fell back down next to him. “He’s not with the empire?” Tup gasped, reaching to grip onto Fives’s arm as his brother slumped. “He listened?” Echo’s eyes closed for a moment, his head tilting away. “Not in time.” Tup reached automatically for the glass in front of him, taking a long swig, just to get through this. “ No . General Skywalker- he didn’t…” Fives trailed off.

“Rex wasn’t with the General when the order went out. That was Appo.” Echo said quietly, his eyes betraying his grief. “Then where was he?”

“He was on his way back from Mandalore with Commander Tano.” Tup couldn’t help it. The glass slipped from his fingers, and the sound of it shattering might as well have been blaster fire. This time, it was Fives who clung to his arm, but his brain was blank. “No, not her.” Tup murmured, shaking his head. “What happened?”

“He won’t talk much about it- but what I do know is that their Venator went down on some ice moon, and…” Echo’s hand went to his chest, fingers digging in slightly, “every last trooper in the 332nd died.”

Tup couldn’t help the way his shoulders curve in, how his arms hug his knees to his chest. He barely registered what else was said, until familiar names caught his attention. “Jesse? Kix?” Fives’ voice was devoid of emotion, a tone Tup was familiar with. From the months after the Citadel, and then again when Master Ti had sent them here. In contrast, Echo sounded like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders when he said, “Jesse’s gone. Kix… we’re not sure. He went MIA not long after…” Echo gestured vaguely to them. Tup’s breathing was speeding up, lungs rattling. His chest was burning, like someone had sunk claws deep into his chest and split it in two.

Suddenly, he was on his feet, his chair toppling backwards as he stood. “I’m sorry, I…” but no words came to him, so he just stared at Echo, hoping he got the idea. His brother nodded minutely and he fled, throwing the door open a tad too forcefully. “Tup!” Fives called, but he didn’t listen. He was hyperventilating as he pushed through the crowd in the club, the lights and the chatter and the beat of the music- usually things he loved- becoming overwhelming.

Tup burst into the back alley, through the second door and stumbled up the stairs that led to the apartments above. He didn’t stop moving, not until he was collapsing next to the fresher, bending over the rim and throwing up. He clung to the rim for support as his body heaved, and when he was done, he didn’t even bother wiping his mouth before he slumped against the side, eyes slowly falling shut.

Chapter 4: Lost in the words that we scream

Summary:

Echo reflects Order 66, and the brothers and friends he lost both before it and in the aftermath.

Notes:

I’m back! December has been really hectic, and this has been the first break I’ve had in a while so I finally had a chance to work on this again. Sorry for the wait, but here you go! And with a new pov as well…

Echo very, very desperately wanted to cry. Which was saying something, because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried. It must’ve been… must’ve been… Rishi. He and Fives had been shown to their bunk room, shared with Jesse and Kix- though they hadn’t known them at the time. The moment the stiff, awkward lieutenant had left, Fives had turned to him with the most broken expression Echo had ever seen on a living thing, and spoken two words that had shattered his remaining composure. They’re gone.

Rex had found them not long after, finally freed from briefings, and later a firm hand on each of their necks. You go on, Rex had told them, when Fives murmured that he didn’t know what to do. You remember them, and you mourn them, but you keep fighting. You go on. They were words Echo had clung to not only then, but every day since. The lieutenant who’d shown them around had died in their first battle with the 501st, and Jesse had been promoted to take his place. They had made friends, and watched them die every time they were deployed. Then he had gone and gotten himself blown up, and the last thing he remembered thinking- before he lost all sense of self- was that his brothers would have to go on.

In the end, of course, it had been Echo who had had to go on, not them. He had woken from imprisonment to find all but three of his closest brothers dead, and half of his body replaced by metal and wiring. Ironically, it had taken him longer to mourn himself than his brothers. Because he knew how to grieve people. He hadn’t known how to grieve for himself. It had been a long, hard process, interrupted by the tragedy of Order 66, but in the end he had managed. And he’d been able to help Crosshair grieve the loss of his hand- and mourn in other ways, too.

When his youngest brother had told him about his first visit to Barton IV, and his encounter with Commander Mayday, he’d been so distraught he almost couldn’t get the words out. Echo had folded him into a hug and murmured, “You are allowed to feel like this, but you have to go on. Go on out of love or anger or spite, it doesn’t matter. Just so long as you go on.”

Now, having to explain to Fives and Tup everything he knew about the aftermath of the order, all the men they had known and lost during it, he found his grief rearing its ugly head once more. Fives’ head was in his hands, shoulders bunched, and Tup had fled the room. He probably should have gone after him, but his mind was a buzz of computing, and Echo couldn’t for the life of him make his body work. It was like somebody had ripped out his connecting wires, leaving his metal limbs useless. He was stuck in an endless loop of trooper files and casualty reports.

 

CT-00-2010 “Droidbait”

10 standard cycles, private

KIA 22BBY, Rishi Moon Outpost.

Commanding Officer:

CT-19-7409, “O’Niner”, KIA

 

CT-4040 “Cutup”

10 standard cycles, private

KIA 22BBY, Rishi Moon Outpost

Commanding Officer:

CT-19-7409, “O’Niner”, KIA

 

CT-782 “Hevy”

10 standard cycles, private

KIA 22BBY, Rishi Moon Outpost

Commanding Officer:

CT-19-7409, “O’Niner”, KIA

 

CT-99

11 standard cycles

Died 21BBY, Kamino

Commanding Officer: none

 

CT-9415 “Hardcase”

12 standard cycles, private

KIA 20BBY, Umbara

Commanding Officer: CT-7567 “Capt. Rex”, Comm. Ahsoka Tano, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

CT - 6922 “Dogma”

10 standard cycles, private

Reconditioned 20BBY, Kamino

Incident report: murder of acting CO Gen. Pong Krell, Umbara

Commanding Officer: CT-7567 “Capt. Rex”, Comm. Ahsoka Tano, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

CT-5385 “Tup”

11 standard cycles, private

Died 19BBY, Kamino

Incident report: murder of Gen. Tiplar, Ringo Vinda

Commanding Officer: CT-7567 “Capt. Rex”, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

ARC-5555 “Fives”

13 standard cycles, traitor to republic

Died 19BBY, Coruscant

Incident report: unauthorised experimentation, Kamino

Attempted assassination of Chancellor Palpatine, Coruscant

Resisting arrest, Coruscant

Capture of superior officers, Coruscant

Grievance filed by: CT-7567 “Capt. Rex” 🔒

Commanding Officer: CT-7567 “Capt. Rex”, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

CT-0292 “Vaughn”

13 standard cycles, Captain

KIA 19BBY, Mandalore

Commanding Officer:CT-7567 “Comm. Rex”

Advisor Ahsoka Tano, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

CT-5597 “Jesse”

13 standard cycles, Lieutenant

KIA 19BBY, unidentified moon

Commanding Officer:CT-7567 “Comm. Rex”

 

CT-7567 “Rex”

14 standard cycles, Captain

KIA 19BBY, unidentified moon

Commanding Officer: Advisor Ahsoka Tano, Gen. Anakin Skywalker

 

Jedi Advisor Ahsoka Tano

17 standard cycles, traitor to Republic

Killed 19BBY, unidentified moon

Jedi Master: Anakin Skywalker (deceased)

 

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

38 standard cycles, traitor to republic

Missing 19BBY

Jedi Master: Qui Gon Jinn (deceased)

 

Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker

22 standard cycles, traitor to republic

Died 19BBY, Coruscant

Jedi Master: Obi-Wan Kenobi (missing)

 

CT-9904 “Crosshair”

12 standard cycles, traitor to empire

Imprisoned 18BBY

Incident report: murder of Ltn. Nolan, Barton IV

Commanding Officer: CT-1317 “Mayday”, Ltn. Nolan

 

CC-2224 “Cody”

14 standard cycles, Martial Commander, traitor to Empire

MIA 18BBY

Commanding Officer: Admiral Rampart

 

All the names of brothers he had lost looped through his mind obsessively, and he was tempted to rip the damn computer out of his head, just to make it stop. A series of quiet thumping noises brought his mind back to reality. Crosshair was tapping his fingers on the table in a pattern Echo’s scattered brain knew. Morse code. He’d memorised it when he was five standard years, and unlike many other troopers he’d never forgotten a single letter.

G-O O-N. Go on. Crosshair caught Echo’s gaze and refused to look away. He tapped out the pattern again, and Echo managed to regulate his breathing. Again, and he could feel his limbs again. Again, and he was straightening in his chair. When he was thinking rationally again, he realised that he wasn’t the only one staring at Crosshair. Fives was too, a peculiar expression on his face. “Stop that.” He rasped.

Crosshair hesitated, eyes flicking between Fives and Echo, and Echo could see the puzzle pieces falling into place for him. Realising that this was something they shared, that meant something deeper than he’d known. Echo nodded, and Crosshair stopped. “I could…” he gripped the table to steady himself, “I could take you there someday, if you want.”

He desperately didn’t want to return there ever again, but there were few people alive who knew exactly where the crash site was, and he would never in a million years make Rex go back there. So if Fives or Tup wanted to see it, he would take them. Fives nodded. “I think… I think I’d like that.”

“Then it’s a deal.” Echo said, weakly, and the flash of uncertainty on his twin’s face told him Fives was remembering the last time they’d said those words to each other. I can’t do this without you, Echo. Please don’t leave me, too.

Only if you don’t leave me, either.

Then it’s a deal.

“Rex…” Fives began, “where is he?” Echo wanted to tell him- of course he did, but not even Hunter knew the location of their base. And there was good reason for it. Echo chewed on his lip. “I can’t… it’s a secret, Fives. I wish I could tell you, but the risk is too great.”

Even as he spoke, he began moving his fingers rapidly, the movements coming back to him effortlessly. Fives’s eyes dropped, watching for a moment, before they rose back to Echo’s face. But he knew his message had been recieved. I have coordinates. Can’t share, but I can take you. If you want. Tup, too. His brother nodded. “I understand. I should probably… go make sure Tup is alright.” Crosshair scoffed and Wrecker guffawed, and he couldn’t deny he was a little taken aback by their reaction. “Something funny?” Fives snapped, but Crosshair just shrugged, pointing lazily at Omega’s now-empty seat. “She already beat you to it.”