Chapter Text
Leo had never feared the dark. When they were little, Leo and Raph often had to endure nighttime visits from their other two brothers, especially Mikey. The youngest would often insist that something had moved in the corner of his room, something that darted from one wall to the other and hid behind a pipe, something that didn’t resemble an ordinary rat. In those moments, Leo would joke that it was probably Splinter's friends, and Mikey shouldn’t be afraid of them. Meanwhile, Raph would go with their dad to check the room to make sure nothing was hiding there. In most cases, it was just Mikey's imagination playing tricks on him. Donnie, on the other hand, disliked the dark for a different reason. He would say that when his vision failed him, his other senses sharpened, especially his hearing. Too many unsettling sounds reached him then, sometimes it was too much to bear. The company of someone nearby, soft snoring, or the rustling under the blanket calmed his mind. Raph had no trouble sleeping; he always fell asleep quickly, and once he was out, even the roadwork happening right above their heads sometimes couldn't wake him. Leo envied him for that. His sleep problems only grew with age, but because he sometimes could stay awake all night without even blinking, he had become friends with the darkness that enveloped the sewers.
For so many years, everything was fine; one might say it was just like old times. Until Shredder showed up, and then Kraang.
Now, total darkness sparked a deep unease within the teenager, which intensified until Leo turned on the light. He couldn’t cope with it in any other way but to illuminate the room. When Leo woke up in the middle of the night none of his LEDs worked for some reason. His phone was dead, just like his MP3 player. He didn’t have any other source of light. His heart raced, his breathing quickened. Leo began to count aloud to dispel the unbearable silence and calm himself, but… even though he was sure he was speaking, no sound came from his mouth. Terrified, he ran toward the door, grabbed the handle, and tried to open it, but it was locked. He yanked harder, and when that didn’t work, he started banging on it with both hands. He hoped to wake his brothers, that they would hear something he couldn’t and come to his aid. Then it struck him. He froze in place when he realized he was using both hands. His left and right. Right. Although he could have sworn he had removed the prosthetic before going to bed. Panic increasingly clouded his rational thinking. Yet, in the situation he found himself in, nothing seemed rational.
Suddenly, something hit his head with force. Not hard enough to knock him out, but enough to make Leo stagger. He turned to see where the object had come from and barely avoided another… rock. His surroundings seemed to brighten, but not because of the LEDs. Leo stood frozen as the sight before him began to look terrifyingly familiar. In the distance, an explosion illuminated what was no longer his room. Shards of debris drifted in every direction. The ground that Leo had felt beneath his feet vanished, and he drifted like one of the rocks. He didn’t even have time to register what was happening around him when he felt a cold breath on the back of his neck.
Leo didn’t want to turn around. He was afraid that when he did, what he was desperately trying to deny would prove to be true. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to believe that he was back again. Or maybe he had never escaped? Perhaps those three months spent with his family after the invasion were merely a figment of his imagination? Maybe he had truly gone insane?
“Look at yourself,” a familiar voice said, “frozen in place like… what do you call it on Earth? Ah yes, like a deer in the headlights.”
Leo felt a massive clawed paw tighten around his shell. His whole body shook with cold and fear. Aside from that involuntary movement, Leo was completely paralyzed. At one point, even breathing became a challenge.
The beast seized his right arm in its claws. It squeezed tighter, making Leo let out a soft whimper.
“A melody to my ears,” Kraang commented, chuckling ominously. “I will savor it. Piece by piece.”
With that, without any warning, Kraang yanked Leo by his right arm.
Leo woke from the nightmare with his own scream. His quick, wheezing breath sounded more like the whimpers of a hit dog. His left hand instinctively grabbed the stump that hurt as much as it did the day when…
Just the thought of that incident made him feel nauseous. He leaned against the wall with his legs drawn up. With his face buried in his knees, he waited for the dizziness to pass. His left hand continued to grip his stump.
“Damn it,” he whispered, then repeated it louder to make sure he could hear his own voice.
When he lifted his head to look around, his room looked just as he had left it in the evening. All the lights were on. His MP3 player lay on the floor along with his headphones. The longer he looked around, the calmer he felt, but it wasn’t until about twenty minutes later that he felt strong enough to get out of bed. He grabbed some painkillers from the nightstand and swallowed three tablets. Due to their increased tolerance for all kinds of medications, he needed to up the dosage. Leo usually tried very hard to save his meds, but in this case, he felt he wouldn’t survive the whole day without them.
After a few minutes, when the painkillers started to take effect, he decided to leave his room. On his way, he noticed his sleeping family snuggled tightly together. Looking at their relaxed faces, he assumed that movie night had been a success. He smiled at the sight and made his way toward the kitchen. He needed peppermint tea to get rid of the unpleasant feeling in his stomach.
“Good morning, early bird.” In the kitchen stood none other than April, holding a plate of toast, while a glass of orange juice rested on the counter beside her.
“Hey, Apes. How was the evening?” Leo asked as he began preparing his tea.
“It was okay. We started to doze off during the second part. To put it mildly, it wasn't great, but the third one was a masterpiece. Raph even cried at the end when... I won’t spoil it. What about you? You look a bit off.”
“You know how it is with my sleep. I’d be a walking perfection if I could get my beauty sleep every night. The world just isn’t ready for me yet.”
April laughed at his awkward explanation. She didn’t pry further, for which Leo was grateful in his mind.
“And you? Why are you up so early?”
“Volunteering,” she replied shortly. However, that was enough to explain the whole situation to Leo.
April was used to getting up early, although in this case, she wasn’t rushing off to classes as she had before the invasion. Most schools remained closed due to the destruction caused by the aliens. Some had shifted to online classes, while others decided to wait until the situation in the city stabilized. April, not knowing how else to spend her free time, decided to help out in the city as a volunteer. She said that the inactivity was driving her crazy, and whenever an opportunity arose to help, she took it.
The girl’s expression suddenly darkened as if she had just recalled something unpleasant. Leo gave her a worried look and asked what was wrong.
“Ugh, there are more and more looters.”
Leo let out a quiet growl. It was obvious that a tragedy of this scale would bring out the worst people, preying on others' misfortune.
"What's worse, some of them are pretending to be volunteers, and that literally makes me sick. People lost their homes, everything they owned, and they... they see it as an opportunity to make money. And to top it all off, there's been a noticeable increase in gang activity in the city."
"Ugh, if only we could—"
"No, Leo," she cut him off immediately. "Don't even think about it. You know the streets are crawling with police and special forces. I don't even want to imagine what they'd do if they caught you. Please, you guys need to sit this one out."
"You know this could last for months... maybe even years?"
April reluctantly nodded. She hated the idea of isolating her brothers from the world above, but if it meant keeping them safe, she saw no other option. Maybe a few months ago, the excuse of "four giant turtles in colorful masks are heading to a sci-fi convention" would have flown without much question. But in the current climate, any non-human figure could be considered a high-level threat.
"Promise me you won't go to the surface. Not yet. Please."
"Hey, you don't need to worry so much—"
"Promise me, please!"
Seeing the desperation in his older sister's eyes, Leo felt a pang in his heart.
"I promise," he said seriously, which clearly reassured April. She took a few sips of her juice, and a comfortable silence settled between them. Leo reached for his tea, but after one sip, when the scalding liquid burned his tongue, he gave up on trying again. Instead, he just enjoyed the warmth of the cup in his hands.
"Any plans for today, baby blue?" April asked, eager to switch to a lighter topic.
"The usual. Arcade in Hidden City."
"How does that never get old for you?" she laughed, rolling her eyes. "Maybe next time we should go with you. Wouldn't that be more fun?"
"And ruin my chances of finding a life partner? Oh, no thanks."
"Are you saying you're embarrassed to be seen with us in public?"
"Your words, not mine."
"You little—!" April set her cup down on the counter and lunged at her younger brother. The two of them started playfully wrestling and exchanging light jabs, as siblings do in mock fights. They laughed and teased each other. April tugged at Leo's cheek while he poked her in the ribs, trying to get her to let go of his shell. Despite her one key advantage—having both arms—she was losing to the strength, height, and skills of her turtle brother. With one hand, he grabbed her wrists, holding them behind her back. Leaning over her, he whispered into her ear:
"Say I won and that I'm better even as a cripple, and I'll let you go."
April struggled, trying to figure out how to free herself from her younger brother’s iron grip. Then she had an idea. She pushed off one foot against the lower cabinet handle, quickly climbed onto the counter, and with cat-like agility, flipped herself over backward. Leo let her go, not wanting to risk twisting his arm (the last one he had left).
She landed behind him, striking a classic hero pose. She adjusted her glasses with her middle finger, which didn’t escape Leo's notice.
"I’m not admitting jack shit," she said with a smirk.
Their playful bickering probably would’ve continued if not for the soft vibration of a phone echoing through the kitchen. April quickly answered and after a brief exchange of words and a few nods, she hung up.
"I’ve got to go, but I’ll swing by later with a little something." She downed the rest of her juice in one gulp and grabbed the toast from her plate.
"Stay safe, Apes," Leo called after her, grabbing his mug. His tea had cooled down a bit now. Leaning against the counter, he began to wonder if there really wasn’t any way they could help the surface rebuild. He wasn’t thinking about buildings or roads, but more about helping people rebuild emotionally. Surely it would give people hope if some masked group of self-appointed heroes could take down looters and other scum preying on the city’s misery. But he understood why April was so against it. None of them could forgive themselves if one of them got caught. They’d all start blaming themselves. They couldn’t assume the police or special forces would be lenient or turn a blind eye to four teenage heroes. They’d seen enough movies about monsters and aliens to know that humans only accepted superheroes when they looked… well, human.
Leo’s deep thoughts were interrupted by the soft shuffle of footsteps. A barely awake, zombie-like Donnie stumbled into the kitchen, not even acknowledging his twin’s presence. He moved around the room, looking like he was on complete autopilot. Leo watched him with amusement. When he saw Donnie reaching for the top shelf where they kept the coffee beans, he decided to wake his brother up in a more interesting way. From the pile of dirty dishes, he pulled out a spoon, which immediately began to glow with a blue aura. With a flick of his wrist, Leo opened a small portal under the coffee beans.
Donnie blinked, suddenly more alert as the object he was reaching for vanished before his eyes. He turned to look at Leo, who just shrugged, feigning innocence. The coffee now lay on the counter near the microwave. Donnie rubbed his eyes and, after a moment’s hesitation, reached for it again. Once more, the coffee beans disappeared in a flash of blue light and reappeared on the other side of the kitchen. A twitch of irritation crossed Donnie’s face.
“Nardo, please…” he said through gritted teeth, a hint of threat in his voice.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, mi hermano.”
The brothers began a staring contest. Leo stared at Don with a playful and challenging look, while Don returned the gaze with irritation and fatigue. Without breaking eye contact, the genius reached out for the coffee, slowly stretching his hand as he carefully analyzed every move Leo made. Leo, holding the glowing blue spoon behind his back, was ready to create another portal stealthily. However, as soon as his twin sensed his intentions, he decided to outsmart him. Two metal arms shot out from his battle shell—one heading for the coffee and the other for Leo.
The teenager suddenly found himself in a different place. Where his brother had been, there was no longer a kitchen but a cold darkness. His brother was nowhere to be seen either. His knees buckled beneath him, but he wasn’t sure if it was from fear or the floor he could no longer feel. He was floating. No, wait… falling? It felt like the air was being sucked out of his lungs, and a strange sensation filled his stomach, like the time Draxum had thrown him off a rooftop. What was happening?
A clattering sound jolted him out of his nightmare-like trance. A spoon had hit the floor. Leo opened his eyes, but darkness still clouded part of his vision. He shielded himself with his arm, crouched in a defensive stance. Someone was speaking to him. No, two people were speaking. He didn’t know what was going on, and it felt like the last two minutes had been stolen from his memory. Only when he felt someone’s hand on his did he snap back to reality. He blinked rapidly and exhaled, realizing he had been holding his breath. Shaking his head vigorously, the fog began to lift.
It all came back to him now. His cheeks burned. Embarrassment twisted his stomach into knots, and his mouth felt parched. His brothers were staring at him, surprised. No… scared.
"Hey, you with us?" Raph asked. Leo nodded. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, unsure what to do with his hand. His face flushed with shame.
"What happened—"
"Sorry, guys," Leo interrupted. "It’s nothing. I just zoned out. And before you make fun of me, yes, I do sometimes think deeply."
No one laughed. It was an expected reaction to his jokes and Leo was used to it (even if it always broke his heart a little), but this time the tension in the room and his brothers' worried expressions were too obvious to ignore. Mikey opened his mouth to speak, but Leo cut him off.
"Dontron, how many times do I have to tell you not to wear your battle shell when we're at home? You promised you'd let your wounds breathe," Leo said, stepping back a couple of paces. "And lay off the coffee; your teeth are gonna turn yellow." He quickly spun on his heel and headed for his room, ignoring his family calling after him.
‘Geez, so embarrassing, so embarrassing, so embarrassing…’ he kept repeating in his head. ‘They’re never going to leave me alone after that.’
Before he reached his room, someone grabbed him by the wrist. Leo couldn’t believe all of this was happening before it was even 8 AM. Whenever he woke up from nightmares, his mind instantly assumed the rest of the day would suck just as much as his wake-up. Today was shaping up to be even worse than he’d imagined. He never thought he’d be begging for the day to be over so soon.
"Leo, I’m sorry, I just… I forgot… about the shell… and the metal arms," Donatello stammered, his voice full of guilt. Leo would’ve waved him off dismissively, but since his brother was still holding his wrist, Leo instead mustered the best smile he could manage.
"You don’t need to apologize. You know I like to exaggerate. You guys always tell me that," he said, trying to lift Donnie’s spirits, but judging by the look on his brother’s face, it didn’t have the intended effect.
Donnie couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Scenarios were playing out in his head, and in every one of them, Leo was evasive. He needed time to figure out the right question to corner his twin, but he didn’t have enough time. He felt Leo tugging to free his wrist from his grip, so he decided to change the subject entirely—maybe that’s what both of them needed.
"Um, I’ve started a new project—a new version of your prosthetic," Donnie said, finally making eye contact with Leo. "Your input could really enhance the design and provide useful feedback for any necessary modifications."
Seeing Leo’s interest, Donnie slowly loosened his grip on his brother's wrist until he released it completely. Leo didn’t run off, which Don considered a small victory.
"You’re actually inviting me to your lab? I think we should be worried about you, not me," Leo teased. The brothers all rolled their eyes but felt a slight relief. The twin decided to play along.
"Perhaps, but keep in mind that if you accept the invitation of your own free will, no one can blame me for anything. It’s all on you."
"Ouch, victim-blaming, much?"
"Just a friendly warning, considering our blood ties."
"I guess I should be thankful for that, huh?"
"Yes, you should, my dear brother. My chamber of tort—uh, medical room awaits you," Donnie said with a slight bow, gesturing toward his lab.
"Seems like I don’t have a choice. If I don’t make it out, I want a Jupiter Jim-themed funeral," Leo quipped, glancing at the other two brothers, who shook their heads in disbelief.
"Just grab your current prosthetic from your room," Donnie reminded him.
Leo nodded and headed to his room. He felt a little calmer now. His steps were more confident as he made his way to the lab, even feeling a bit excited about what Donnie had prepared for him. Since Leo had lost his arm, Don had been relentlessly trying to cheer him up in his own way, constantly talking about plans to upgrade the prosthetic. Leo appreciated his twin’s enthusiasm, especially after how bitter he had been in the first few weeks of recovery. Phantom pains and a post-apocalyptic outlook had likely soured the mood for the entire family. It took him a while to adjust to his new reality and start functioning somewhat normally again. Of course, he had apologized to his family for his behavior, but he didn’t feel he had repaid them for their care the way they deserved—or at least, that’s how he saw it. He talked less, went out to Hidden City more often, and even sometimes refused to join the turtle pile! While his brothers thought closeness was what they all needed, Leo didn’t quite agree. But he had never told them that directly. Maybe, deep down, he wasn’t sure if he believed it himself.
As he entered the lab, he shut the door behind him. Donnie was already waiting. On some of the monitors, various projects were displayed. On others, there were documents, codes, and strange symbols that looked like something out of a hacker movie. And in the corner, one monitor was playing live news.
Leo sat down near his brother and handed him the prosthetic. And so it began. Donnie started pulling up the necessary files on the main screen, showing on the prosthetic how he planned to make adjustments—what he would add, what he would remove, what would work better in combat, how to improve nerve connections, where to add features like extra propulsion or hidden blades. Leo listened with a mix of amazement and mild concern. It felt like his brother was getting a bit too excited about some of the ideas. He even wondered if Donnie had other projects lined up in case of more "unfortunate accidents." Maybe he even had a folder called "Cyborg Project."
"...it’ll be a bit more fragile, less durable, but when we strip away the unnecessary weight, I could add—"
"That all sounds great, Donnie," Leo interrupted. "Could you turn off the news? It’s… distracting me a bit." Donnie shot a quick glance at the news broadcast, which was reporting on victims found under the rubble. Ambulances, onlookers, reporters, police… Donnie stared at the screen sadly before Leo's cough brought him back to the present. He turned off the monitor and looked at his brother. He wanted to offer a reassuring smile, but Leo was staring at the floor, not lifting his gaze for even a second.
"Um," Donnie started hesitantly, "about your conversation with Raph yesterday…"
"Where’s that coming from?"
"Well… I noticed you couldn’t look him in the eye yesterday either, just like now with me." At that, Leo immediately shot a challenging look at Donnie, but it didn’t have the effect he’d hoped for. Donnie sighed, unimpressed by his brother’s posturing. He decided to be direct: "You know Raph overthinks too, right? Especially when it’s clear you have the hardest time talking to him. He’s probably wondering what he did wrong."
Leo opened his mouth to argue, but Donnie raised a hand, signaling that it was his turn to talk. "You know how much he worried about hurting us when he was Kraang-ified. If you keep acting like this, he’s going to start blaming himself again."
"It’s obvious it wasn’t his fault! He had no control!" Leo shouted.
"Then make him understand that, because clearly, his brain isn’t accepting the explanations that I, Mikey, April, and the rest of us have been giving him. Stop dodging certain topics because your behavior is affecting all of us!" Donnie's patience was clearly running thin at this point. He was never the most patient person in the world, especially when it came to people. And every conversation with his twin tested him to his limits.
"You don’t get it! I’m not avoiding anything. How many times do I have to say that?" Leo snapped, standing up from his chair and starting to pace around the room, visibly agitated. "I’ve told Raph a thousand times that everything’s fine and he’s overthinking it. Maybe the problem isn’t with me, but with him! Have you noticed how often he’s glued to his phone or the TV? I can’t even remember the last time I saw him without a screen in front of him."
"Stop twisting things around."
Leo muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes. He knew shouting wouldn’t help. Maybe it was time to try a different tactic.
"Look, from what I can tell, your biggest issue is that I’m not home as much as I used to be. But try to see it from my perspective. Mikey has his hobbies—cooking, painting; you’ve got your lab and a million unfinished projects. I don’t know if watching the news counts as a hobby, but lately, Raph’s been spending a lot of time with Casey Jr., and they seem to be getting along great. And me? When I was stuck in bed, I read all my comics at least three times over. I can’t even skate with my busted knee. I don’t have any other interests to spend my entire day on. For me, going to the arcade and meeting new people is like my last lifeline before I lose my mind. I need it, you get me?"
Donnie stayed quiet for a while, furrowing his brow. After a few moments, a look of understanding slowly appeared on his face. What Leo was saying actually made sense, which was pretty unusual.
"Okay, fine. I get that you need something to do. I get that you want to meet new people. I get that you're trying to kill boredom. But what I don’t get is why you won’t just talk about it directly."
"Because it’s obvious, duh. There’s just nothing to talk about."
Donnie’s face once again showed irritation. He hated when Leo used that tone. He knew he wouldn’t get anything more out of him now. It was easy to give up when having these kinds of conversations.
"Can you at least talk to Raph? It would be good for all of us, but especially for you two."
"Fine, fine. I’ll talk to him," Leo said, defeated. "We’ll have a real man-to-man conversation, leader-to-ex-leader, if you insist."
"Or maybe," Donnie suggested, "try brother-to-brother instead?" Leo seemed to completely ignore that suggestion.
"I’ll invite him for a training session. That should lift his spirits, right?"
Donnie sighed heavily. "Just show him that you care—"
"Of course I care," Leo interrupted, offended by Donnie’s insinuation.
"You know what I mean. Spend some time with him, that’s all."
Leo sat back down in his chair. He didn’t like admitting that anyone, especially his siblings, was right, but in this case, he didn’t have much of a choice. He nodded a few times in reluctant agreement.
A few minutes passed. Donnie returned to discussing his projects. Leo tried to focus on his brother's words, but after a while, Donnie’s monologue started sounding more like gibberish, as if it were directed at himself rather than at Leo. Slowly, Slider began to get bored. So, as soon as his brother finished taking the necessary measurements and allowed him to put his prosthetic back on, Leo announced he was heading out. He said he’d promised a friend to show up at the arcade today, and he didn’t want to let him down. It wasn’t a lie, but Leo also knew that Remy wouldn’t be that much upset if he decided not to come. For a brief moment, Leo hesitated, but it really was just a moment.
"I’ll probably be back around ten," he called over his shoulder.
"Take your phone."
"It’s not charged."
"Nardo!"
"You know where to find me!"
He waved at his brother on the way out, ignoring Donnie’s remarks. Once in his room, he quickly did a few exercises to get his arm used to the prosthetic again. He threw on some comfortable clothes, and a moment later, he disappeared through a portal to Hidden City.