Chapter Text
Tsukasa found himself getting ready for school for the final time of second year on Friday. He put his uniform on, his blazer included due to that day being an important one, and grabbed his backpack, empty of his textbooks and notebooks for the first time since things had started going downhill, not needing them when no actual class was happening. He’d attend Kamiyama’s closing ceremony and then find something to do until it hit 1 PM and he had to start heading to cram school for that closing ceremony. Perhaps he’d see if he could find some third year workbooks in the mall’s bookstore to practice over spring break so he wouldn’t fall behind. He and Rui still weren’t speaking that much to each other, Rui still upset with Tsukasa and Tsukasa still trying to sort through that day to figure out why Rui was so upset, so he didn’t see any sense in returning when it would be just him and Rui, Hiyori out at work for the day.
He slowly made his way downstairs after brushing his hair, throwing some toast in the toaster when he saw Hiyori was already gone. Ah, Rui-kun’s still getting ready, based on the noise from his garage… I should make my way out once my toast is done so I don’t get in his way. Tsukasa waited for the toast to be done, taking it when it popped out of the toaster and stopping just long enough to put some jam on the slices, putting them together before he went over to the genkan, putting his shoes on, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulders, then grabbed his key and stuffed it in his pocket, stepping out of the house without even a goodbye, eating his toast as he walked. He entered Kamiyama, heading straight for his classroom instead of waiting around at the gates for Rui. That is, until he was stopped by a familiar voice.
“Eh, you’re not with Kamishiro-senpai?”
Tsukasa turned around, noticing Akito and Toya walking up to him, shaking his head. “Rui-kun said he’s mad at me for what happened when I got done with final exams. He said I dissociated as a result of pushing myself too far, but I don’t understand what he meant by that, when I was just making sure I had perfect grades.”
Akito frowned, Toya blinking in slight surprise.
“You’re not talking?” Toya asked.
“Not much.” Tsukasa replied. “So I decided to leave after I made my toast since I can get ready slightly quicker than him. Can we keep walking, though? I’d rather not run into him out here.”
“Hmm… Fine.” Akito replied, beginning the walk to the first year hallway. “It’s a little weird to see you and Kamishiro-senpai fighting though, considering it’s been so long since your last fight.”
“It has been a while.” Toya agreed. “But… I don’t understand why Kamishiro-senpai is angry.” He sighed, stopping in front of his locker to swap his regular shoes for his school ones. “You’re doing cram school because you need to keep your grades high enough for Tokyo University of the Arts. So how did you do too much?”
“He’s been trying to convince me to drop cram school for a while now.” Tsukasa explained. “He says I’m stressing myself out too much, even with the few breaks I take when I have my work completed.” He shut his locker, now swapped into his school shoes, though he kept his backpack on him so he could stow away the papers he’d receive at the end of the closing ceremony, and any certificates he might get, if he’d get any. He hadn’t gotten any last year, but he knew he needed at least one this year, if only just to make his school record look better.
“Kamishiro-senpai may have a point there.” Akito pointed out. “How long did it take you to snap out of the episode?”
“I don’t know…” Tsukasa admitted. “Long enough Rui-kun was already angry with me when I did snap out of it.”
“When did you fall into it?” Akito asked.
“Sometime on the bus ride.” Tsukasa replied. “I’m unsure when, but it wasn’t long after I sat down.”
“It’s no wonder Kamishiro-senpai is upset then.” Akito replied. “That time frame would’ve put you into a longer episode. It’s a miracle you snapped out of it by yourself, and a miracle you ended up at his house instead of somewhere random in Shibuya.”
“Mm… Perhaps I do owe Rui-kun some kind of apology then…” Tsukasa mused. “Well, I was going to try to pick up some third year workbooks in the mall’s bookstore, and perhaps some acting books, so I could likely find a robotics book for him.”
“Can I go with you, Tsukasa-senpai?” Toya asked. “Some new books in the series I’ve been reading came out and I was planning on going out to get them soon.”
“I don’t mind.” Tsukasa replied. “You’re more than welcome to join me, Toya-kun. You can too, Akito-kun.”
“Nah, I’ll pass.” Akito replied. “I’ve gotta pick up some new equipment for the squad and Ena’s set me to being her errand hound again.”
“Alright then.” Toya replied. “Tell Kaori-san not to worry about cooking dinner. I’ll pick up some food from the ramen shop near your street.”
“Are you sure?” Akito asked. “You really don’t have to, mom doesn’t mind cooking.”
“She just got back from helping Shinei-san with an art exhibit, right?” Toya asked. “I really don’t mind buying us all dinner for once. It would be helping her out, letting her rest.”
“Alright, fine.” Akito replied, giving in. “Just make sure you rest once you get home. I know your ankle is still bothering you.”
“Your ankle?” Tsukasa asked. “Did something happen?”
Toya pulled his right pant leg up just enough to show the top of an ankle brace. “I accidentally rolled it a little practicing some new choreography the other day.” He explained. “The doctor said it was a minor sprain, but advised me to wear an ankle brace so I didn’t agitate it going about my day to day activities. Akito-kun’s been insistent I rest since we’ve cancelled practice until I’m cleared.”
Akito nodded. “And then we’re going to have a long talk about how to safely perform more complicated jumps and moves, even if they aren’t very high jumps. He tried to do a small hop and one of the moves at the same time and landed wrong.”
“I see…” Tsukasa mused. “Since we’re going to the mall, you’ll want to ice it when you get back so it doesn’t swell from all the walking, Toya-kun.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Toya replied. “Thank you, Tsukasa-nii. You should get going though, since you still have to go to your classroom.”
“Right. I’ll see you after the closing ceremony.” Tsukasa replied. “I’ll be waiting by the gate. Just text me if you get out before me.”
Toya nodded, and he and Akito walked off, leaving Tsukasa to make his way to his classroom in the second year hallway.
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Tsukasa found himself in the gym a bit later, sitting with his class as he listened to the principal give his speech. The talk of how the year had gone, how well the students did, the principal’s hopes for the next year, and everything else he was saying didn’t resonate with him, but he paid attention anyway, putting up just enough of his mask to make it seem like he was interested in what was being said. He could see Toya seeming to do the same down below him, but he could only tell based on body language, so he wasn’t sure if that’s what Toya was doing or not. Toya usually never showed much emotion in school, even before what he’d gone through.
“Now, I have one last thing. The certificates.” The principal began. “When I call your name, please come up to receive your certificates. Remember, we have certificates for the different classes, your behavior throughout the school year, as well as a certificate for the student with the best grades in the year. I’ll start with the first years and end with the third years, and after the awarding of the certificates and information about graduation, you will be free to go.”
Here we go… Tsukasa thought. I need at least one of these to put on my school record for the year in order to better my chances of getting into Tokyo University of the Arts… He listened as the first years were called up one by one, applauding when expected, applauding just a little more vigorously when Toya was called up for best grades in first year, and listened as the second year certificates slowly trickled by.
“We have one more certificate to give out, however, we have two recipients this year, both of whom having achieved straight As.” The principal explained, holding the two certificates. “Tsukasa Tenma and Rui Kamishiro, please come up to the stage to receive your certificates for best grades in second year.”
Tsukasa stood up, a wide smile on his face as he walked to the stage and climbed up the stage steps, ignoring the subtle look Rui shot him, accepting his certificate from the principal, bowing. “Thank you very much for this opportunity, sir!”
“No, thank you for being such a good student, Tenma. You as well, Kamishiro.” The principal said as Rui accepted his certificate, also bowing to the principal. “Keep up the good work, both of you. You’ve represented this school well, even despite your antics.”
Tsukasa stood up straight upon the principal’s dismissal, he and Rui making their way back to their seats. He listened as the third year awards were given out, the principal finally wrapping up with graduation information for everyone, with a reminder to the third years to wear the full Kamiyama uniform as well as arrive earlier than when doors opened so they were already ready by the time the graduation ceremony was to start.
“With that being said. You all are dismissed.” The principal finished. “Please make sure to clear your lockers out on the way out after you change into your outdoor shoes, and collect your final exams and grade cards from your home room teachers as you leave the gym, and we wish you all a good spring break.”
Tsukasa stood up, waiting his turn for those in front of him to file out before he filed out himself, getting into line behind his classmates to pick up his exam packets and his grade card, unsure if he’d see any of these classmates again, but uncaring. They were former classmates now, and it would only be by chance after summer break of seeing them again. He slowly made his way up to the teacher, giving a short bow when he got in front of the teacher, taking his exam packets and grade card and stowing them away in his backpack. He’d look at them at the end of the day, since he didn’t have the time at the moment. “Thank you for guiding me this year, Sensei.”
“And thank you for being such a good student, Tenma.” The teacher replied. “I wish you luck in future endeavors.”
“You as well, Sensei.” Tsukasa replied, then left, checking his phone to see if he had any texts from Toya.
From: Little Star
Tsukasa-nii, I’m waiting for you at the gate.
Tsukasa sighed as he walked to his locker, grabbing the bag that held his indoor shoes, after he changed back into his outdoor shoes and putting what little else he had in his locker into his backpack, then texted Toya back.
From: Tsukasa
I’ll be out in a minute. I just finished clearing out my locker.
Tsukasa put his phone back in his pocket, slowly making his way out of the school. Next school year he’d be on the third floor in the third year hallway, but for now, he left the school behind, making his way over to Toya, giving a small wave once he got in sight range, finally speaking once he got close enough. “Are you ready?”
Toya nodded, pocketing his phone. “Yes. I’ll get the books at the bookstore that I want and then I’ll stop by the ramen shop on the way home.” He explained.
“Just don’t forget to ice your ankle when you return.” Tsukasa commented.
“I’ll remember, Tsukasa-nii.” Toya promised. “And even if I forgot, Akito-kun or Kaori-san would make sure I did. Kaori-san was the one who took me to the doctor with Akito-kun when I got hurt, so she’s been helping take care of me.”
“Well, Shinonome-san has my thanks.” Tsukasa replied as the two began walking. “For taking care of you when I cannot.”
“You’ll always be my big brother, Tsukasa-nii…” Toya muttered, finding himself trying to navigate his feelings just like Tsukasa currently was. “But… we have so many more people now… People who say we aren’t alone anymore. Truthfully, I’m not sure what to think about that…”
“I’m not sure either…” Tsukasa admitted. “Perhaps we’ll be able to understand when we have our feelings back.”
Toya hummed in reply, knowing Tsukasa was right. He could tell Tsukasa wasn’t using his mask right now, neither of them needing to until they checked out, and there was still barely any inflection in either of their voices. “Perhaps you’re right. Have you found a way to express yourself?”
“Just shows, and only a little bit.” Tsukasa replied. “It’s not as massive as how you get when you’re singing. I get the most emotions when I listen to Kashika, but it doesn’t come up very often on my playlist.”
“So it really did light a fire in you…” Toya muttered. “I’m not surprised. Akito-kun put his soul into that song, baring it for everyone to see, and it came together as a kind of hopeful cry to the world. A promise that he’s not going to give up no matter what happens.”
“When I think about it that way, he really did bare his soul to the world, didn’t he…?” Tsukasa asked as the two walked into the mall, beginning to make their way to the bookstore. “It takes courage to do that…”
“It does.” Toya agreed. “Akito-kun’s not one to let the world get him down, so the fire that motivates him is usually pretty evident in everything he does most of the time.”
“I see…” Tsukasa muttered. “Well, we don’t have long, so let’s get what we came for. You still have to ice your ankle before you have to leave the Shinonomes again to come over for whatever Hiyori-san and Osamu-san want to talk about after I get back from the closing ceremony at cram school.”
“Mm.” Toya hummed. “Let’s get our books then so we both can get to our next stop on time.”
“Alright.” Tsukasa replied. “I’ll meet you back here when we’re done getting our books.”
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Tsukasa found himself alone around an hour later as he made his way to his cram school for the closing ceremony. He’d parted ways with Toya about fifteen minutes prior, and now he was just walking to the final closing ceremony of the day he had to attend, the mall a little further away from his cram school than Kamiyama was. His bag of third year workbooks was in hand, since he’d chosen not to put it in his backpack to leave room for the papers he’d receive from cram school, carrying the bag with his school shoes in the same hand. He’d have to remember to go out and get a new pair, since these had gotten quite worn. He might as well donate them or use them as outdoor shoes at this point.
He shook himself out of his thoughts, opening the door to his cram school and stepping inside, slowly making his way to his classroom. He’d likely be in the same one if he continued cram school during his third year, which he was planning on doing, but it didn’t help to get a look at the building as it was now, and commit what it looked like to memory. After all, there was a chance, however small it may be, that he wouldn’t be coming back, or at least not as often if Hiyori and Rui had anything to say about it, as insistent as they’d been about him not taking every single cram school offering so he didn’t burn himself out.
Tsukasa stepped into his classroom, taking his seat for the last time that year. Pretty soon, they’d all be called to head to the gym, a smaller one than Kamiyama’s, and sit through the closing ceremony, receiving their final exam packets back and their grade cards, being wished a happy spring break, and set free to do whatever they wished before the next school year began. He watched as other students trickled in, all in their school uniforms. It seems like no one took the time to go home and change before coming here… Although it makes sense with today being such an important day… He idly listened to the chatter, whispers about spring break, going on vacation, seeing a movie, all things he didn’t care about. He wouldn’t be able to participate in them anyway, not when he had his new workbooks to go through in order to get ahead.
He watched as the teacher came in a little bit later, a few minutes before they’d have to make their way to the small gym for the ceremony.
“Alright everyone, settle down.” The teacher said once he got to his desk, watching the room as the students slowly settled down. “In a few minutes, we’ll be moving to the gym for the closing ceremony. I want you all to walk in an orderly single file line when we get there. The head of the school will speak once everyone’s seated. Before you leave the gym, you’ll have to come to me to get your final exam packets and grade cards. If you kept anything stored in the lockers here, you’ll want to collect it before you leave, as we’ll be closing the building up for spring break once the staff are finished with our work after the closing ceremony. Any questions?”
Tsukasa surveyed the room, turning his attention back to the front when he realized there weren’t any questions.
“Alright, in that case, please line up in the hallway so we can begin making our way to the gym.” The teacher instructed. “You don’t have to stand in seat order if you don’t want to.”
Tsukasa stood up, grabbing his things, following his classmates into the hallway. He could see the few other classes in this hallway lining up, and he knew the classes in the other hallway were lining up as well, those classes he knew were for those who needed a little more help than the average cram school experience, so they’d likely had longer sessions than he had, but he didn’t care, knowing everyone was there for the same reason, even if some were in the building longer than others, keeping his place in line as his class trickled into the gym and found their seats, waiting for the ceremony to begin. It didn’t take long for the head of the cram school to start making his speech, Tsukasa dutifully listening to each word even as the speech went on.
“And now,” the school head began, “we’ll be awarding certificates. When your name is called, please come up to the stage to receive your certificate.”
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Tsukasa had long left his cram school, his grade card, final exam packets and the two certificates he’d received in his backpack with what he’d gotten from Kamiyama, his phone out as he texted Rui that he was almost back. He knew Hiyori-san had asked everyone to arrive shortly before he usually got back, so he made sure to hurry on his way back to the Kamishiro home, not wanting to make everyone wait. Although… Mother… Father… Saki-chan… I… I can’t face them… I can’t… But he had to. He knew he had to, and he hated it.
“Tsukasa-nii?”
Tsukasa looked down at his phone, surprised to see Kasa and KAITO. “Onii-chan, Kasa-nii, what are you doing here?”
“The meeting’s when you get back, right?” Kasa asked. “KAITO-nii wanted to come since we know the rest of your family will be there.”
“Yeah, it is…” Tsukasa reluctantly muttered. “I… Mother, Father, Saki-chan… I don’t think I’m ready to face them…”
“I can get Rui-kun to come outside when we get back.” KAITO offered. “That way you don’t have to face them alone.”
“Everyone else is there.” Tsukasa pointed out. “How are you going to get his attention without alerting the others?”
“I’ll stay in his phone instead of coming out, that way only he can see me.” KAITO explained. “Kasa-kun can stay with you until Rui comes out, since he’s gotten better at going back to Sekai on his own.”
“Well… Alright. Thank you, Onii-chan.” Tsukasa replied. “Can you go now? I’m only a few minutes out.”
“Of course.” KAITO replied, disappearing from Tsukasa’s phone.
“Tsukasa-nii, are you scared?” Kasa asked, fidgeting with his shirt.
“I’m… not sure.” Tsukasa admitted. “I just know that I don’t want to face them alone… Or… at all really.”
“I think I’m scared too.” Kasa admitted. “This will change so much. What if we can’t be each other’s other half anymore?”
“I don’t think the others would let us be broken apart.” Tsukasa replied. “Rui-kun said it was a … What was it? Ah, right. A twin flames situation. Better together, worse apart.”
“Tsukasa-kun, are you ready?”
Tsukasa looked up as Rui walked over, KAITO returning to Tsukasa’s phone. “Rui-kun…”
“KAITO managed to discreetly alert me to what was going on, so I made the excuse that you’d texted me and I was coming out to greet you.” Rui explained. “But we can’t stay out here for long. So, I hate to rush you, but are you ready? I’ll be by your side the entire time.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready…” Tsukasa admitted, watching as KAITO and Kasa disappeared from his phone. “But… I have to try. Kasa-nii doesn’t want to lose the ability to see me, and I have a suspicion whatever Hiyori-san and Osamu-san want to talk about could determine whether or not we can still see each other as often as we do.”
“Well, let’s go inside then.” Rui replied, holding out his hand for Tsukasa to take.
Tsukasa took it, keeping his head down as the duo entered the house, watching as they walked into the living room, where the group was gathered, repressing the urge to flinch when he saw his parents and Saki’s pants, sitting down on the couch beside Rui.
“Onii-chan…?”
Tsukasa flinched. He knew that voice, but he didn’t want to look up. He didn’t know if he could face Saki, not yet, his conflicting feelings showing clearly on his face.
“Tsukasa-kun, can you look at me?” Rui asked, rubbing Tsukasa’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.
Tsukasa hesitated, but he looked up at Rui, seeing nothing but concern on his face. He looked down again after a moment, staring at Rui’s shirt instead of his face.
“Are you okay?” Rui muttered.
“I… I don’t know…” Tsukasa muttered back, fidgeting with his hands. “I… I don’t know if I can face her…”
“Saki-chan?” Rui asked, frowning as Tsukasa nodded in reply. “It’s alright. I’m right here, and she won’t do anything to hurt you, Tsukasa-kun. In fact, she helped me pack your things after you ran away.”
“She did…?” Tsukasa muttered, gaze flicking away from Rui to Saki’s direction for a moment, then returned back to Rui.
Across the room, Saki watched the muttered conversation, worried. Onii-chan… I’ve never seen him like this before… Mom and dad have stayed quiet, which is good, but… “Onii-chan…?”
“It’s alright, Tsukasa-kun.” Rui muttered. “I’m right here.”
Tsukasa hesitated, but he finally looked up at Saki, really looked up at her, taking in her appearance properly for the first time since he’d run away.
Saki, the angel that she was, waited patiently, also taking in Tsukasa’s state, holding a bag in her hand. “I got you something… Can I come over there?”
Tsukasa thought about it, eyeing the bag. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew whatever it was, Saki had good intentions, so he nodded, tracking Saki’s socks as she stood up from the chair she was sitting in, finally looking her in the eyes again when Saki sat in front of the couch, putting herself eye level with Tsukasa.
Saki stuck her hand in the bag, pulling out first a Nintendo Switch, then a copy of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and finally, a book, one Tsukasa recognized from before he’d run away. He’d never had a chance to buy it after that. “It… It’s not much, but… I figured if I could get you some things to help you relax, maybe you’d feel better.” She explained. “I saved up my earnings to get everything, and I got Animal Crossing specifically because I know you used to watch the gameplay videos when you were stressed.”
That’s right… I did… Tsukasa thought, taking the three items and inspecting them. Something about watching people build entire towns and just generally go about day to day life was relaxing… A quiet moment to rest during the storm… “I… You remembered…?”
“Of course I did, Onii-chan.” Saki replied. “I care about you and…” She sighed, hesitating. “It hurts seeing you like this… Seeing you so unsure of yourself, retreating when you can’t understand an emotion or end up in a situation you don’t like… so… I figured maybe some familiarity would do you some good, even if only a little.”
“It… I…” Tsukasa muttered, unsure what to say. “Can I…?”
Saki smiled, figuring out what Tsukasa wanted and opening her arms. “Of course you can.”
Tsukasa slid off the couch, falling into the hug, tears beginning to stream down his face as the weight of the situation finally hit him. “Saki-nii…”
Saki held Tsukasa as he cried, rubbing his back to try to comfort him. Onii-chan… I’m so glad you’re willing to rely on me like this again… She waited until Tsukasa’s tears ran out, rubbing his back for a few more moments before pulling away. “Why don’t we sit beside Rui-kun and hear what Hiyori-san and Osamu-san have to say?” She suggested. “If it’s alright with Rui, I can stay here after the discussion and we can catch up. I can help you set up your game too.”
“It’s more than alright with me.” Rui replied, helping Saki get Tsukasa situated on the couch between them. “In fact, I don’t mind if you stay the night. If you don’t have anything, I’m sure we have it here.”
“In that case, I’ll gladly stay the night.” Saki replied.
Tsukasa stayed quiet, letting the weight of the moment wash over him, looking at the different families. Looking at how Akito sat closer to Kaori and further away from Shinei, Toya right beside him, Toya’s mother surprisingly on Toya’s other side, how that meant Harumichi had been distanced from Toya on purpose, and turned his attention to the other side of the room, noting the empty space by his parents where Saki had been, finally turning his attention to Hiyori and Osamu, the ones leading the entire discussion.
“Are you alright now, Tsukasa?” Osamu asked. “We can hold off on the discussion for a few minutes if you still need some time.”
“I’m alright, Osamu-san.” Tsukasa replied. “I think I just got… overwhelmed by it all.”
“I understand.” Osamu replied. “If you need to step out at any point, just let us know. We won’t fault you.”
“I know. Thank you, Osamu-san.”
“Well, if everyone is ready, I’ll get into the crux of the matter.” Hiyori began. “Osamu and I have been having some discussions, and after seeing Tsukasa’s behavior, some of Toya’s, and hearing of the changes between when they’re alone and when they, Akito, and Rui are together, we believe it would be best if the four of them shared a house or an apartment.”
With doubt and confusion as our proof,
With all the dreams we’ve had up to now,
Looking back to see so many smiles,
Joined together, hand in hand,
This bond we’ve forged is the only one of its kind.
The wish you want to grant, let’s give it a name.
Would you call this a dream, though it comes with such pain?
Begging for the answer to an impossible question, it comes and goes like the seasons.
Trying to convince yourself with all the logic in heaven and earth,
What sort of ending are you wishing for?