When the Sun Fades - SatoSugu

by gizigizi

Summary:

At the beginning of summer, Suguru Geto attempted to end his own life. Found nearly lifeless by the side of the road, he was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent a stomach pump and remained hospitalized for weeks until his body was fully recovered. Realizing the risk of leaving him alone again, his parents made a difficult decision: he would go to a rehabilitation clinic, specifically the Jujutsu Institute, a place far from Tokyo, isolated from all his goals and friends.
Really, a great idea.
For Suguru, the center represented just another prison... until he met Satoru Gojo, a patient with an irritating personality who, for some reason, wouldn’t leave him alone since he arrived in that place. But... why would someone who seemed so healthy like him be there?

Notes:

Hey guys, I'm here just to say that english isn't my first language so I'm sorry if the're lots off mistakes.
Also, I'm not planning on making a very long fic because 1) I don't have time (college and stuff) and 2) I don't want to bore you, but my intention is to make it a slowburn so don't expect sex in the first chapters. Haste is the enemy of perfection hehe.
I won't go past 10 or 15 chapters, that's for sure, however if the fanfic flops I'll end up dropping it because I'm not very motivated to write lately, so if you can comment! It helps me a lot!
Hope you guys like it S2

Chapter 1: New home

Jujutsu Institute, psychiatric rehabilitation clinic

31/06/2007, 02:47 p.m

 

 

 

— Your therapy sessions will take place three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. As we progress with treatment, they may reduce to twice or once a week until you’re discharged. Does 4:00 pm sounds good for you?

Suguru Geto heard these words without really paying attention, distractedly playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

He hated every second of this.

— Do I have a choice? — he replied irritably, crossing his arms and glaring at his new psychiatrist.

The man chuckled lightly, jotting something down in his notebook.

— I’m just talking about the time, Geto. If you prefer, I can switch you to the morning shift, but it would have to be before 9 a.m becaus—

— Four’s fine. Okay. — He clearly didn’t care. — Can I go now?

Dr. Masamichi was an experienced psychiatrist who had worked with hundreds of teenagers like Suguru. He knew that behind that scowl and sharp words was a scared, vulnerable boy, far from his family and friends.

The institute wasn’t an asylum, but most people didn’t understand the difference. That’s why the psychiatrist needed to make it clear the boy didn’t need to be so resistant.

— I’m here to help you, Suguru.

— I don’t want help. I just wanted to fucking die.

— But you didn’t die. — The man offered a reassuring smile. — And I can’t wait for the day you realize that was a good thing.

Suguru fell silent. He would never see his suicide attempt that way, he actually saw it with a lot of frustration. He felt useless, unable to succeed at the one decision he’d made with 100% certainty in all his life.

Before, he’d considered himself just a failure, but now, in addition to being a failure, he was also sick.

"I hope they do lobotomies around here"

The tension in his jaw revealed the discomfort of being there. Masamichi didn’t miss it.

— How long do I have to put up with this crap?

— Until you stop being suicidal.

The boy laughed sarcastically.

— I’ll be here forever.

— Great! That way, we’ll keep each other company! Maybe we’ll even become friends. What do you think?

Suguru didn’t respond, staring at him with boredom and not believing a single words. As if a renowned psychiatrist would really want to be friends with an 18-year-old suicidal teen. He was just saying that because it was his job. He's beeing paid for that.

"I bet the day I’m discharged, you’ll cry with relief for never having to see me again."

— Well — Masamichi continued, realizing his patient was too absort in his own thoughts —, I think we’re done for now. Your parents are already aware of how your treatment will proceed and what medications you’ll take. Here’s your weekly schedule. — He slid an activity schedule across the desk until it was in front of Suguru. — I included some activities that might help with your depression. We have group discussions, outdoor activities, and even animal therapy. At the far end of the garden, there’s a small farm. Stop by sometime to see the rabbits and the sheep.

— Sure — Suguru replied flatly as he took the paper.

Playing farmer was definitely not a priority at a time like this.

He was already heading toward the exit when he heard his name called again.

— Oh, Suguru!

— What? — He turned around with a scowl.

— One of my patients will show you around the place, to help you get familiar with what will be your new home.

"New home."

It didn’t feel like a new home.

Then again, what was it like to feel at home?

Come to think of it, he’d never felt like he truly had one.

Suguru didn’t respond.

— I already called him; he’s waiting for you outside. — Masamichi folded his hands on the desk. — You can finally go now.

Suguru headed for the door again, but before leaving, he looked at the doctor and said:

— You should get new glasses. Those are really fucking ugly.

The doctor kept his friendly smile as he watched the boy leave, waiting a moment before letting out a long, tired sigh.

— I just love working with teenagers.

Chapter 2: teddy bear keychain

As soon as Suguru took his first step out of the office, he noticed a boy standing right in front of him, leaning against the hallway wall with a book in his hands. The boy closed it as soon as he noticed Geto’s presence.

He was tall, with hair as white as snow, and wore round sunglasses that looked as ridiculous as the doctor’s, if not worse.

"What’s up with this obsession with sunglasses?"

— Suguru Geto, am I right?

He managed to look even taller as he pushed himself away from the wall.

— What do I need to do to get you to let me go to my room? — Suguru huffed, more out of exhaustion than irritation.

Just thinking about how long this tour would take made the boy want to pull all his hair out with tweezers.

— And do you know where your room is?

A pause.

The question only irritated him more.

— What do you think?

— I think you have no choice but to follow me — His lips curved into a falsely gentle smile, clearly provoking Suguru.

— I can find it on my own — he shot back.

— And how are you going to get in if the keys are with me? — The boy pulled a keychain out of his pocket and shook it in front of him.

Suguru grunted.

That psychiatrist wasn’t considered a professional for nothing.

— You know, your arm won’t fall off if you come on the tour with me — he twirled the key between his fingers — And as a bonus, you might make a friend! Isn’t that great?

— Friend, my ass — Suguru rolled his eyes, muttering too low for the boy to hear — Let’s go then. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish.

He began to walk ahead, even though he had no idea where he was going.

— Hold on, handsome, I’m the one who’s supposed to show you around — The boy hurried to stay beside him — I see you really didn’t want to be here, huh?

— Let’s just say getting admitted to a rehab center wasn’t part of my plans for this summer.

— And killing yourself was?

That was a bold move. Suguru had every reason to tell him to fuck off after that.

But honestly? It was kind of funny.

— Yeah, exactly — he didn’t care.

How did that dude know why Suguru was in that clinic? Wasn’t that kind of information confidential or something?

— Interesting choice for a summer activity. Usually, people prefer to go to festivals, watch fireworks, swim in the ocean...

Suguru didn’t reply. His mind tried to recreate what it must feel like to do all those things, to enjoy life, his youth.

But even so, it seemed so... meaningless.

Not that he’d never been to a festival or the beach. He had. Many times when he was younger.

It’s just that now he felt like even doing his favorite things wouldn’t feel as good as before, as if he’d lost that capacity, as if he were lost inside himself.

And now he had no idea how to find that old Suguru again.

They stopped walking when they reached a large door with glass windows.

— First important place: the cafeteria.

Well, it was just a cafeteria. Several tables with four seats, a few boys snacking on sandwiches, others on chips. On the left side was a large buffet where they probably served the main meals of the day. Nothing he hadn’t seen before. The only difference was the implicit promise of months with the same scenery and company.

— Breakfast from 7 to 9. Lunch from 11 to 1, and dinner from 7 to 9. If you get hungry between meals, you can buy something from the vending machines, but you can’t eat in your room; the cleaning ladies gets pissed if you leave a mess, and... oh! We don’t use knives here, you know how it is, right? Psychotic boys locked up in the same place for too long, things were bound to go south eventually... and they did. So they banned them — The weirdo stared off into the distance and laughed as if remembering something really funny — Now we only eat diced meat, like we’re 3 years old — He put a hand on Suguru’s shoulder — It’s delicious! — He smiled — Come on, let’s go outside.

Suguru raised an eyebrow at some of those comments.

"This boy’s not right in the head"

Thinking that while in a rehab center made Suguru laugh to himself.

— This is the garden — the taller boy showed him the patio with a long green lawn and a reasonably large fountain in the middle — The patient in room 7 told me if you throw a coin in and make a wish it comes true. But once I saw him sneaking out at night to steal coins from the fountain. I heard he spent it all on KitKats. Dumb as hell, everyone knows M&M’s are way better.

— A wishing fountain? How old are you to believe in that kind of stuff? Five?

— Say what you want, but after a while here, you get bored and start believing in shit like that.

So he’d been here a long time? Yeah, It made sense since he knew every corner of the place so well.

But what was his condition? He hadn’t mentioned it once until now, which was usually the first topic that came up when meeting someone in a clinic.

Suguru discreetly analyzed him.

— Whatever, I’m not going to stay here long anyway — Geto shrugged.

The boy stared at him for a few seconds before starting to laugh like he’d just heard the funniest joke in the world.

— You? A depressed guy who tried to kill himself thinks he’s going to get discharged quickly? — He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes — Aww... Do you also believe in the tooth fairy? Santa Claus?

Suguru’s face darkened.

— I’m not going to stay here long. I’m serious.

— And what’s the plan? Pretend you’re no longer depressed, follow all the rules to get an early discharge, and then try to kill yourself again when the dust settles?

—...

Sort of... yeah. That was exactly the plan Suguru had in mind.

— Wow, how original — The boy laughed again — No one’s ever tried that before.

Okay, he’d crossed the line.

Why was he talking so informally with Geto? They weren’t close. They weren’t friends. They were nothing.

Suguru grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him close enough so their faces were only inches apart.

— Who do you think you are? — His jaw clenched, showing his anger — You think so highly of yourself, but in the end, you’re just as messed up as I am. After all, we’re both locked up in the same fucking place. So you better watch these jokes before I really lose my patience.

Suguru let go of his shirt and stepped back when he noticed one of the guards staring at them.

— Let’s keep this stupid tour going — he said, continuing to walk through the garden.

Suguru couldn’t tell, but the boy he left behind stared at him in silence for a while before walking back up to his side, studying him from head to toe.

— As you wish — was all he replied.

(...)

Despite the earlier disagreement, the weirdo with white hair decided to act like nothing happened and kept dragging Suguru around every corner of the institute, making sure to share unnecessary details and stories that Geto had absolutely no interest in hearing. But since he didn’t have the key to his room (nor did he know where it was), he had no other choice but to accept his fate as a hostage for the next hour.

— Finally, this is the bathroom — the annoying boy said when they reached the top floor — Want a tip?

— Why do you keep asking if you know you’ll end up saying it anyway?

— I suggest taking showers at night — He ignored the comment — We have scheduled shower times, which I find absurd. After all, we’re not animals. And because of that, the bathroom gets crowded, and it’s super uncomfortable. At night, you don’t see anyone’s bare butt, and there’s no risk of anyone seeing yours, but you have to sneak out so the nurses don’t catch you.

— Right. But if I take a shower at night, I’ll risk seeing your butt.

— Right — he imitated Suguru, mocking him — Do you prefer seeing just my butt or a dozen off butts?

This butt talk was getting weird.

—... Honestly? I don’t want to be naked alone in the same space as you.

The boy shrugged and continued down the hall without waiting for Suguru. He knew the hothead would follow him anyway.

— Great. That way, the bathroom stays all mine.

Shit, Suguru hadn’t thought about it that way, and he wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.

— You know what? You’re right. I’ll use the bathroom at night.

— Nah, you’re just making an excuse 'cause you want to see my bare butt.

— What?! No I don't.

— Yes, you do. You can’t stop thinking about it, huh? I bet you’re picturing it right now.

That comment brought an intrusive thought of the weirdo’s bare butt into Suguru’s mind. He felt like pulling his brain out and throwing it out the window.

— Dude, fuck off. I’m not thinking about your butt.

The boy was about to continue teasing Suguru when they were interrupted by Masamichi.

— Satoru. Suguru. — he said as he approached — I see you’re getting along well.

Satoru huh? So that's his name

— Of course we got along, we’re friends now — The taller boy put his arm around Suguru’s neck, who grimaced in disgust.

But he didn’t push him away.

— We’re not friends — he replied.

— True, we’re best friends.

— Great! — The doctor didn’t give Geto a chance to retort — Suguru, I’ll open the door to your room for you, now you can finally rest. Satoru, you’re free to go.

The dark-haired boy looked at the man opening room 9’s door in shock.

— What... The... Hell...?

He raised his eyes to Satoru, realizing he was still with that smug smile.

— What the f- Weren’t you the one with my keys?! — Suguru asked, irritated.

— Oh, these? — Satoru pulled the keys out of his pocket — I found them around a while ago. The keychain is pretty cute, don’t you think?

It was a little black teddy bear.

Suguru wanted to make Satoru swallow that damn bear.

— I’m going to fucking murder you.

— You need to be smarter, Suguru! — He laughed — Do you really think they would let patients like us have the keys to our own room? What if one day I decide to kill myself and lock the door? How are they going to explain that to my parents?

Suguru didn’t know how to respond. He was right, it didn’t make sense for them to have the keys to their own room.

Still, that was NOT cool.

— Go fuck yourself — that was all he said.

— Nice to meet you too — Satoru smiled again.

— Okay, Satoru, thanks for showing the place to your colleague — Masamichi tried to interrupt the pseudo-argument.

— Best friend — He corrected and received a punch on the arm from Suguru. — Ouch!

— You deserved one of those in the face.

— I’m going to need to confiscate those keys you’re holding — the doctor said — Suguru, you can rest in your room. Your bags are already inside.

— Great — he replied dryly, heading toward the room.

— See you later, darling! — That was all he could hear from that annoying voice before slamming the door behind him.

Suguru threw himself onto the bed, trying to push away thoughts of that weirdo. But as if cursed, the sound of his laughter echoed in his head.

Besides that, in the garden, when his face was close to Satoru’s, he had finally seen the absurdly blue eyes behind those glasses, and now that he wasn’t so angry, he realized he had been somewhat fascinated by seeing them so up close.

Something in those eyes seemed to have marked his mind, but he pushed that irritating thought away before it lingered too long.

Suguru needed to avoid him at all costs.

Chapter 3: Secret

The water temperature surrounding my body was so low that it felt like thousands of  needles stabing my skin.

I could no longer feel the tips of my fingers or my feet.

My eyes drifted into the darkness, frantically looking in every direction. A desperate attempt to find anything that would lead me to you.

Where are you?

For god's sake, where are you?

WHERE ARE YOU?

It took about 30 seconds before I finally saw your hair sinking deeper and deeper into that endless depth. Even though it felt like I had been there for hours, trying to find you.

I dived even deeper. Agony consumed me, taking over my being. The dark terrified me. I couldn’t see clearly.

And when I was finally about to reach you...

 

(...)

 

Suguru awoke with such a shock that he instinctively sat up in bed. His lungs fought for air as if he were suffocating, on the verge of running out of breath.

He inhaled so deeply that he felt his throat burn, causing him to start coughing uncontrollably. His ears buzzed as if water were pressing inside them.

While trying to steady his breathing, Suguru looked around, unsure of where he was. Every detail of the room seemed vaguely off, as if the place he called "now" was blurred. He was dazed, his scattered thoughts felt like they were meters deep, far from making any sense.

His hand clutched his own neck from the pain he felt until, gradually, his memory returned. He was institutionalized. He was in a rehabilitation clinic because he had attempted suicide a few weeks ago.

Yes. This was his reality now. It was too late.

There was nothing he could do.

As if by fate, his alarm went off just a few seconds after he’d woken up, signaling that his first activity of the day would take place in an hour. He had to go down for breakfast.

His heart was still racing as he hugged himself, trying to calm down.

It wasn’t the first time he’d dreamt about this.

And it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

 

(...)

 

— You lost, pretty boy.

That was all Suguru managed to hear before Satoru stole the ball from him.

— What are you doing here? — he asked, with an inevitable sigh.

— What do you mean, what am I doing here? — Satoru bounced the ball a few times on the ground. — I’m playing basketball — he made a shot that landed perfectly in the basket. — Isn’t it obvious?

Despite waking up in the worst possible way that morning, Suguru had followed his schedule as usual: Group psychotherapy, therapeutic reading, outdoor activities, and all that nonsense he was forced to endure. Now he was taking advantage of the two hours of free time he had to play basketball. It was the one thing he could do alone without being bothered by anyone since few patients were interested in using the court.

At least, that’s what he thought until his space was invaded by this white-haired idiot.

His eyes rolled as Satoru retrieved the ball and threw it back to him.

— Do you have to come here precisely when I decide to? — Suguru caught the ball in the air.

— Wow — he raised his hands in surrender — I didn’t know the court was reserved especially for Suguru Geto.

Geto didn’t need to run towards the basket, he bent his knees where he stood and took the shot.

Of course, he landed it perfectly.

— Three points — Suguru muttered, ignoring the comment.

It wasn’t that he wanted the court to himself. But today was one of those days when he’d prefer to be alone.

Actually, every day was like that.

Suguru walked towards the ball, but it was taken from him once again, by the same person.

— Can you stop that? — his voice came out slightly irritated.

— Let’s play together — the taller boy suggested, tucking the ball under his arm. — Modesty aside, I’m really good at this game — he winked.

Satoru had an attractive and self-confident demeanor, as if nothing could faze him. So fucking irritading.

Not that he felt attracted to the boy or anything.

— I’d rather play alone.

Satoru’s expression showed disapproval.

— You’re always alone. What’s the fun in that? Are you just going to keep shooting until you get tired?

Suguru stared at him for a moment before swatting the ball away and taking it back for himself.

— Exactly! — he responded, running across the court, bouncing the ball until he was far enough from the basket again.

He prepared, bent his knees again, and took the shot.

But this time, he missed.

— Tch.

Satoru couldn’t help and chuckle at the failed attempt. But when Suguru glared at him, he looked away and started whistling, playing it off.

— Show me what you’ve got — the dark-haired boy threw the ball to Satoru, who caught it in midair as he had done before.

— I thought you wanted to play alone.

— I thought you were supposed to be good.

Satoru raised his eyebrows, looking at him over his glasses. He hadn’t expected to be challenged like that.

But he really liked it.

Gojo began dribbling the ball down the court. The confident smile never left his lips for even a second and only widened when he jumped high, grabbing the rim in a perfect dunk.

When he returned to the ground, he was out of breath.

— Satoru Gojo. — The boys heard a reprimanding voice from a third person.

When Suguru turned, he saw it belonged to a nurse sitting on one of the bleachers, a bit further away.

— I’m fine — Gojo responded simply.

The man stared at him as if deciding whether or not to let him keep playing. In the end, he returned to his book.

Suguru found it odd.

He was on his free time, having already completed his mandatory daily activities, so he assumed Satoru had done the same.

Usually, he didn’t need supervision when he decided to play basketball, especially since the institution was full of cameras in every corner, including the court.

So why were they being watched now?

Did it have something to do with why Satoru was institutionalized?

Geto decided not to ask. Even though if the roles were reversed, Satoru would definitely ask.

— Did you like what you saw? — the boy asked in his usual cocky tone, and only then did Suguru realize he’d been staring at him for too long.

— A dunk doesn’t impress me — he replied, though he was a little impressed. — You’re tall, so it’s easy for you.

— Oh, yeah? So here’s the deal — Satoru threw the ball on the ground, which bounced into Suguru’s hands. — You and I, one-on-one. First to score 10 points wins, and the loser has to do whatever the winner asks.

Suguru looked at Satoru with total disinterest.

— A bet? Seriously? — He laughed dryly. — That’s so stupid.

— Am I stupid, or are you just afraid to lose?

Oh. Okay. That boy knew how to push Suguru’s buttons.

The ball was tossed back to him, this time, with more force.

— Go ahead and start — Geto’s tone was now confident and nonchalant. — I’m going to win anyway.

Satoru couldn’t be happier with that response. He felt like he could read Suguru like an open book.

— Nah, I always win — he grinned one last time before running off, dribbling the ball as any good basketball player should.

The “game” began, and Suguru didn’t lag behind. He rushed toward the boy and tried to steal the ball from him, but Satoru was quicker in evading. By then, they were close enough to the basket, and Gojo took the shot, landing it skillfully.

— 1 to 0.

Suguru didn’t wait a second before chasing the ball, and within seconds, he was taking another shot.

— 1 to 1 — It was his turn to smile smugly.

But acting like that didn’t provoke the reaction Suguru had expected. Instead, Satoru seemed even more interested in unraveling the boy’s personality in front of him.

— Not bad — he advanced to grab the ball again — But you’ll need to try harder than that.

Suguru laughed.

— I’m just getting started.

(...)

The game continued for the next 40 minutes, and Satoru somewhat regretted underestimating the newbie.

He was good.

Maybe in the beginning Suguru had been a bit distracted, making it easier for Satoru to steal the ball from him a few times. But the truth was the long-haired boy was excellent at blocking.

Still, Satoru couldn’t back down so easily. After all, he was the one who had proposed the bet. He also liked playing and could make three-point shots effortlessly. In no time, he was at 7 points, while Suguru had 9.

Now, Geto was advancing towards the basket, with Satoru right behind him, getting closer with each step. The two's bodies were almost glued together when Satoru tried to steal the ball once more. Suguru could feel his breath on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Not that it mattered. He was determined to win.

"Just one more point and I win, just one more"

Suguru managed to shake off the boy and kept running. But when he was close enough to finally make the final shot, he remembered the nurse standing there.

The way he scolded Satoru for that dunk was kind of... strange. Actually, it was kind of suspicious. Did Satoru have some condition that limited him physically? Then making a bet like this—wouldn't that be way too risky?

All those thoughts flooded his mind in a split second, and that was enough for Satoru to notice his distraction, finally managing to steal the ball.

The white-haired boy ran to the farthest point that could guarantee him the final 3 points. Suguru sprinted in his direction immediately, but before he reached him, the ball was launched.

As if the scene was in slow motion, the two of them watched it in the air at the same time. Sweat dripping down their foreheads. Their hearts pounding so fast they could feel it against their chests.

And then...

The ball didn’t go through the hoop but instead hit the rim, making such a loud noise echo around the court that even the nurse was startled.

Suguru was in shock. The silence was only broken by the sound of the ball bouncing across the floor.

Then, he started laughing hysterically.

It was such a comical scene, a scene that broke both of their expectations so much, that Geto could swear he heard the sound of a balloon deflating as Satoru's confident expression disappeared, giving way to an apathetic, lifeless expression.

He was laughing so hard that he didn’t notice when Satoru started watching him, a small smile forming on his lips and a warm feeling spreading in his chest.

—MY GOD — Suguru was still laughing, now sitting on the floor — You were so confident, going so far from the hoop and all. Only to lose so badly in the end!

Suguru’s laughter was too good to be heard so rarely. Even though Satoru had lost, it felt like he’d won something so much better.

"Ah... what am I thinking?"

—All right, all right. I get it, you won — he pretended to be annoyed, sitting next to the boy, who was now wiping tears from the corners of his eyes — You can stop laughing.

—I can't. It was too funny.

He tried to stop, but every time he replayed the scene in his mind, he started laughing again.

—You have a nice smile.

That made Suguru go silent in an instant.

He looked at Satoru, that looked back. He didn't said anything. He didn’t seem to regret saying that so casually.

Suguru felt strange.

—Uh... Thanks? I guess...

—Well, you won — Satoru lay down completely on the floor, placing his hands behind his head. — What do you want?

Oh, right. The bet.

Suguru leaned back on his elbows and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about what to ask for.

—I want the bathroom all to myself for a week — he smiled in a way that made his eyes match the shape of his lips — You’ll have to use it during regular hours. But at night, it’s mine.

—What?! — Satoru took off his glasses — No! That’s not fair.

It was absurd how blue those eyes were.

—I won fair and square. Of course it’s fair.

—Well, technically... neither of us has made it to 10 points yet — his eyebrows raised in a suggestive tone.

Suguru let his smile fade.

They stared at each other for mere seconds before standing up at the same time and racing for the ball.

—SATORU, GIVE ME THAT BALL!

—COME AND GET IT, SWEETHEART!

Since Gojo had long legs, he ended up reaching the ball first and dodged a furious Suguru who was running after him. He bounced the ball a few times before making the shot, adding two more points, as he wasn’t too close or too far from the hoop.

Now they were tied. 9-9.

—I’m going to destroy you — Suguru’s piercing gaze could cut Satoru into pieces.

—Ooh, I’m so scared!

 

(...)

 

Suguru threw himself on the ground, literally defeated. He used to play basketball in school and was pretty good, but it had been a long time since he last trained. His physical condition wasn’t at its best.

He also used this as an excuse to tell himself that was why he’d lost.

Satoru had managed to dunk once more. Suguru lost the bet.

—Oh the tables have turned — he heard Satoru’s voice very close to him, and when he opened his eyes, he was met with his face.

And of course, his typical smug smile.

—What do you want? — Suguru asked irritably, eyebrows furrowed. — Just say it already.

Satoru squatted down, smiling as he observed the half-annoyed, half-exhausted expression of the boy lying in front of him.

He pondered for a moment before answering.

—It’s a secret — he stood up.

Suguru turned abruptly, his eyebrows still furrowed, now in confusion.

—What do you mean, a secret?

—I’ll think about what I want. When I decide, I’ll let you know — Satoru shrugged, as if it were obvious — I need to come up with something really good.

He smiled in a way that made Suguru feel uneasy.

What kind of request would he make?

Would it be something strange?

—For the love of God, just ask for the bathroom to be all yours or something.

—Too simple. I’m not wasting a wish on that — he tossed the ball to Suguru — Anyway, I gotta go. Appointment with Masamichi — he pointed with his thumb toward the door — See you later, sweetheart.

—Don’t call me that! — Suguru shouted back as the door closed. The nurse also left with Satoru.

He was alone and decided to stay lying down for a while, staring at the ceiling. His legs were tired.

He couldn’t believe he’d almost won, almost...

—I hate that fucking weirdo

Notes:

Hello dears, I hope you enjoyed the chapter (it took longer to come out than expected).
I wanted to ask you what day would be better to post updates, I’ll try my best to post one per week (I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try). Would Friday or Sunday be better? Let me know.
Please don’t forget to comment because it really motivates me a lot!
Kisses and have a great week, everyone ♡

Chapter 4: shiny facade

Suguru entered the office zoned out, lost in his own thoughts.

He sat in the armchair in front of his psychiatrist's desk, staring at the floor. The boy was restless, as if trying to solve a very difficult math problem in his head, preparing to ask an important question to the man in front of him.

Masamichi waited for him to take the initiative to start the conversation, but Suguru was so absorbed in his own thoughts that it didn’t happen.

— So — the doctor placed his hands on the desk — Shall we begin our session today? How have you been feeling?

— Why is Gojo Satoru hospitalized here?

— Oh wow — Masamichi removed his glasses, surprised — I wasn’t expecting that question.

Suguru couldn't stop thinking about that basketball game. More specifically, the moment he noticed the nurse’s presence with them.

Of course, Geto also cursed himself about 74 billion times for losing the bet when he was so close to winning, but he would leave that detail aside for now.

— Why do you want to know? — The doctor asked as the boy kept staring at him in silence — I thought you didn’t like him.

Suguru sighed, it seemed even he didn’t understand why he was so intrigued.

— I don’t like him. It’s just that... We were playing basketball and there was a nurse there. It seemed like he was specifically watching over Satoru, because they left together as soon as we finished the game.

— Some patients need more supervision than others. — Masamichi answered simply.

— Yeah. I get that. — Suguru looked up — But why does Satoru need more supervision? What happened to him?

This time, Masamichi sighed. He folded his hands on top of the desk, seemingly choosing his words carefully.

— That’s confidential.

Suguru scoffed.

— That’s not true. Since the first day I’ve been here, everyone always knew why I was hospitalized. Why can’t I know the same about Satoru?

— Have you asked him?

That sentence shut Suguru up instantly.

— No...

The doctor gave that typical neutral smile of psychologists, as if he had already deciphered every detail of Suguru's confused mind (perhaps even better than Suguru himself).

— Satoru seems to like you and he’s always trying to get closer in some way. I can tell just by passing through the hallways. It would be good to have friends here, being alone all the time isn’t healthy, so why not give him a chance? Would making a friend be that bad?

Suguru opened his mouth to retort, but closed it immediately.

He didn’t feel he had the right to want friends. He had never been a good friend after all.

So he didn’t deserve to have one.

— You didn’t answer my question. — Suguru responded after a while, stubborn.

This made Masamichi raise his eyebrows, finding the boy’s persistence intriguing, almost amusing.

It kinda made him want to laugh, but of course, he didn’t.

— You can’t know because I don’t have permission to speculate about my patients to other patients, Geto. It’s unethical and against the rules. — The doctor leaned back in his chair — But nothing stops you from finding out on your own. Do you understand what I mean?

In other words, Masamichi couldn’t tell Suguru anything, but he also wouldn’t stop him from finding out on his own. It was clear that this was an attempt to bring him closer to the white-haired boy, something that in Suguru’s mind would never happen.

— I understand. — Geto answered flatly — And how come everyone knew why I came here? Since you’re such an ethical doctor.

— The only reason everyone knew  was because your case made it to the news, and you know, there’s a huge TV in the cafeteria.

Oh.

They... Really reported all that?

The memories of that day rushed back to his mind for a few moments. He vaguely remembered some details.

The ambulance, the lights, the desperate voices around him. He never imagined it would end up on TV.

The room fell silent again, and Masamichi watched as Suguru squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. He clearly didn’t like knowing that something so personal had been reported. His stomach twisted just thinking about the sensational headlines and the people who might have seen it. At that moment, he felt like he was being watched right there in the office.

— So — The doctor decided to continue — It’s your turn to answer my question: Why don’t you ask him?

The boy didn’t know how to respond, because that possibility had never even crossed his mind.

Gojo always spoke his mind and asked everything he wanted from Geto, even though they never had enough intimacy for that. So, he could do the same, right?

No. Suguru didn't felt like he could. The more he tried to find out about the annoying boy who wouldn’t leave him alone, the more it seemed like he should stay out of it.

— I don’t like talking to him. — That was all Geto managed to answer, reluctantly.

— For someone who doesn’t like talking to him, you sure talk a lot about him here.

Suguru looked at him incredulously.

— That’s not true!

— Sure. It's just a coincidence, right? — Masamichi smiled, shaking his head — Anyway, he seems to like talking to you. Don’t be so reluctant to make friends, Geto. Especially when there are people willing to get to know you better.

“I don’t want him to get to know me better” was what he thought.

But for some reason, he didn’t say it.

He knew that if Satoru really got to know him, he would eventually discover the worst about him. And that was something Suguru wasn’t prepared to deal with.

— So — Masamichi continued — Let’s stop talking about Satoru for a bit and talk about you. How did you feel in your first week here with us?

Oh right, he was still in a therapy session after all.

The boy leaned his head back against the headrest of the chair, pondering.

The cafeteria food was okay, the bed wasn’t horrible, and most of the patients (except for a certain someone) were pretty reserved, so the adjustment wasn’t that bad.

But he still found himself crying without realizing it during showers, still had trouble sleeping and waking up, still tormented himself with guilt every time he was alone with his own thoughts.

He still wanted to commit suicide.

— It wasn’t... that bad. — He finally responded — But I want to go home.

— That’s a completely valid feeling. There’s no place like home, right?

Suguru disagreed. His home wasn’t exactly comfortable, it was just a place that offered him a little more privacy.

He didn’t respond.

— And how has your routine here at the institute been? — Masamichi decided to continue — Any difficulty adjusting to your activity schedule?

— No. I didn’t think the activities were that bad.

— I’m glad to hear that.

The doctor wrote something in his notebook, and when he was about to ask another question, Suguru finally took the initiative to say something.

— But... Could I stop doing group therapy? Um... I... — He scratched his chin — It’s just that I don’t know if I like it. It’s kind of uncomfortable having to talk in front of so many people. — Suguru seemed hesitant to ask, fiddling with the seam of his shirt while avoiding eye contact.

Masamichi was surprised by his attitude in a good way. It was great to see Suguru talking more and explaining his preferences. In the first sessions, he had always been so quiet, it was almost like the psychiatrist was talking to himself.

— We can replace it with another activity. No problem. — He replied calmly, offering a smile that said: ‘You’re safe here.’

Suguru almost believed it for a few seconds.

— Thank you.

 

(...)

 

The session ended after another 20 minutes of conversation. Now, instead of group therapy, Suguru would be doing ceramics.

According to the psychiatrist: “The process of creating something with your hands can help reorganize thoughts. Besides, you don’t have to share anything with anyone, it’s just you and clay.”

It wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when asking for that change. He didn’t understand how working with clay could help him not want to die, but it was the least unbearable activity he could fit into his routine.

He was walking toward his room when he felt a hand pull his hair tie, letting it loose.

— What the—

— Hiiiii Suguruu.

The boy’s face dropped when he noticed whose hand it was. His eyes narrowed in pure disbelief as the other laughed, carefree as always.

— Oh. It’s you.

— Aw, so good to see that my presence makes you happy.

Satoru wasn’t wearing glasses this time.

— Give it back. — Suguru said seriously.

— Why? Your hair is so cool, you should let it down more often.

Suguru felt strange with that sentence, but didn’t let it show.

— Why are you saying that?

— Are you allergic to compliments or something?

Geto tried to grab the hair tie from Satoru’s hand, who raised it up so the brunette couldn’t reach it. Satoru stuck out his tongue to provoke him, and Suguru, impatient, retaliated with an elbow to his stomach, making Satoru bend in pain.

Suguru managed to grab the hair tie back and kept walking while tying his hair. The white-haired boy, on the other hand, quickened his pace to keep walking alongside the hothead.

— I'm serious, your hair is really beautiful — Satoru adjusted his posture, even though his stomach still hurt.

Suguru rolled his eyes, not believing he was telling the truth. It was just another one of his pointless teasing, after all.

— Why are you following me? — He finished fixing his hair.

— Hey. The world doesn't revolve around you, sweetheart. Did you forget my room is down the same hallway as yours?

Suguru furrowed his brows.

— And why are you going to your room at this hour? You usually wander around like a hyperactive child.

Satoru grabbed Suguru's hands and looked at him with sparkling eyes.

— You notice me?

Suguru scrunched his nose and stared at him in disbelief after pulling his hands away from Satoru's.

— Shut up — He started walking again.

Gojo didn’t fall behind.

— I’m just a bit tired today.

Satoru wasn’t tired, he had been heading to the cafeteria before he met the boy, but he needed an excuse to keep walking beside him if he didn’t want him to run off.

Suguru, on the other hand, was intrigued. Why was Satoru tired? Had he done something exhausting? No, that didn’t make much sense. Satoru always had enough energy for all the patients in this place, it wasn’t common to see him tired.

He remembered Masamichi's words while thinking about it.

“ You can’t know because I’m not allowed to speculate about my patients to other patients, but nothing’s stopping you from figuring it out on your own. Understand what I mean?”

The conversation had died down, and Gojo was looking for something to fill the silence, but just as he was about to speak, he was interrupted by Geto’s voice.

— Why are you here?

— I'm going to my room just like you, I thought I already said that

— No — Suguru stopped walking — I'm talking about the institute. Why are you hospitalized here?

Satoru was a few steps below and also stopped walking as soon as he heard that question. He wasn’t expecting it, not now at least.

The silence settled again, but this time, it was clearly much more uncomfortable.

— Uh... — He scratched the back of his neck.

Suguru remained firm, staring at him.

— Why do you want to know? — Satoru looked up, meeting his gaze.

It was a very strange atmosphere.

— You... — Suguru hesitated for a moment — don’t seem... Hm... You don’t seem sick like I do. Like the other patients. I’m starting to doubt if you really need to be here.

— Oh, I do — Satoru let out a dry, almost bitter laugh — I really do, just like everyone else.

It was the first time Suguru saw a negative expression on that boy’s face.

— Why?

It was so strange. Did Satoru not want to talk about it? Was asking that question a mistake?

It didn’t matter. It was too late to back out now.

Silence fell over the boys again. Satoru stared at the floor while feeling Suguru's gaze almost cutting through his skin.

That horrible silence made something stir within Suguru. It was like he was standing in front of a locked door with a secret behind it. And he hated not having the key.

Why was this person, who seemed so unshakable, suddenly hesitating so much?

— Gojo! What are you doing here? — The two were interrupted by a nurse — Your chess class started about 20 minutes ago! I can’t believe you’re skipping it after bothering me for weeks to get you into that activity.

The boy’s expression changed completely, as if he’d been lit up.

— I completely forgot! I'm so sorry! — Satoru pretended to be distressed, but inside all he felt was relief.

He started running down the stairs.

— Hey! Wait—

— No running, Satoru!

Suguru watched the nurse go after the boy to scold him for running too fast. With nothing much to do, he kept walking towards his room, frustrated.

He sat on the bed, his thoughts spinning around the same question that had been haunting him since he met Satoru: what was that guy hiding?

The memory of Gojo’s easy smile and seemingly endless energy didn’t match the uncomfortable silence he had witnessed. It was like there were two versions of the same person, and the one he’d seen today seemed like a crack, a small fracture in something Satoru worked hard to keep whole.

“How am I supposed to know what he has if he doesn’t even want to talk about it, huh, Masamichi?” Suguru thought, irritated. “What’s your solution now?”

Maybe he should just let it go. That’s what any sensible person would do. But, as he stared at the ceiling in his room, Suguru knew deep down he wouldn’t.

The truth was, Satoru wasn’t just another patient. He was a mystery. And Suguru, against his own will, wanted to understand what was hidden behind that shiny facade.

 

 

Notes:

Hey guys, first of all, I apologize for not posting this week (I had a lot of exams at university ༼ ༎ຶ ᆺ ༎ຶ༽)
As compensation, I’ll do a double update! If everything goes well, I’ll post the fifth chapter later.
I hope you’re enjoying it ♡

Chapter 5: Me before you

Suguru scanned the cafeteria for the third time that morning. No sign of Satoru. Part of him wanted to celebrate the peace, but another, a deeper and more annoying part, felt strange.

"He must be avoiding me," he thought, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. Why did this bother him so much?

Since Geto's last failed attempt to get Satoru to talk about why he was hospitalized, the white-haired boy with ridiculously blue eyes had not been seen as often around the institute, even though this situation had only happened two days ago.

Those two used to bump into each other everywhere: in the hallways, the garden, the gym. At meal times Satoru always made sure to sit right next to Geto, even if he grumbled and didn’t give much room for Gojo to start a conversation. But now, Satoru had simply disappeared.

This only made Suguru more intrigued. Why had Satoru been so reluctant to answer a simple question? Was he avoiding him? Was he stopping frequenting the same areas as Geto just so he wouldn't have to be questioned again?

For god’s sake, had Satoru killed someone or something?

Additionally, the only person Suguru talked to besides Gojo in the institute was a bipolar boy from the dorm next to his, Yu Haibara. He was actually pretty nice, but also had no idea what Satoru might have. Suguru had already asked.

The boy understood that sometimes people don’t want to talk about their personal issues, especially if you’re admitted to a rehabilitation clinic. But what made this situation even more confusing was that no one seemed to know, not even the nurses would talk to Suguru about it. Every time he tried, they would clearly change the subject or dodge the question. It seemed like the institute was keeping it confidential on purpose.

The more he tried to learn, the more frustrated and confused he became. What the hell did that boy have?

With these questions in his head, Suguru continued down the first-floor corridor. He was pondering whether he should keep trying to figure out more about Satoru, if it was the right thing, but his steps stopped when he passed by the TV room and saw him there, watching a movie.

Without thinking too much, Suguru walked toward the boy and, before he knew it, he was sitting next to him on the couch.

— Wow, am I dreaming? Suguru Geto is really sitting next to me without complaining? What a miracle.

Suguru was taken aback by the reaction. He was expecting to see Satoru get up and leave, but, to his surprise, he stayed where he was.

So he wasn’t avoiding him?

— Shut up — Suguru sighed — What are you watching? — He decided to keep a casual tone, though he still found that reaction suspicious.

Satoru frowned his brows. He shifted his gaze from the TV and looked at the boy next to him, curious.

— Are you trying to start a conversation with me? On your own? — Satoru laughed, surprised. — Do you have a fever? Or are you delirious?

Suguru rolled his eyes but felt a little better seeing that things between them were back to normal, even after that uncomfortable conversation two days ago.

— Can you answer like a normal person?

Still smiling, Satoru turned back to the TV.

— “Me Before You.” Have you watched it?

Suguru raised an eyebrow.

— Are you kidding? You seem like the last person who would watch something so depressing.

— I watched it out of curiosity — Satoru shrugged.

— It's really sad.

Satoru paused for a moment.

— For some people, maybe.

Suguru was still restless inside. Satoru had practically disappeared lately, but now he was acting normally, as if that conversation between them had never happened. He tilted his head slightly, studying Satoru’s profile, which seemed relaxed, but it was obvious there was more to it. There always was. Suguru just couldn’t figure out.

It was annoying.

"He really is going to pretend he didn’t run away from me last time?" Suguru thought, shifting on the couch.

He needed another opening to ask again about the reason, but he didn’t want to make the boy next to him uncomfortable.

Maybe he should just let it go.

— What do you mean by "for some people?" — Suguru asked after a moment of silence. — I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t think this movie is sad as hell.

Satoru looked down, thinking, as if trying to organize his thoughts before answering.

— I know it’s sad because it’s a romance and all. But... if this happened in real life, I can understand the protagonist's decision. — He turned to face Geto. — I mean, who would want to live the rest of their life depending on others to do literally anything? Even if he has fallen in love and the woman loves him back, what guarantees that one day she won’t get tired of it? Of such an exhausting routine?

That took Suguru by surprise. He never thought such an opinion would be part of Satoru’s usually carefree and laid-back personality. He didn’t expect him to think this way.

— But deciding to die when there is someone who loves you and is willing to take care of you for the rest of your life isn’t a bit selfish? — He retorted. — They were both in love. Just as there’s the possibility she might stop loving him, there’s the possibility she could love him for the rest of her life. Wouldn’t it be better to hold on to that possibility instead of being so pessimistic?

— Living a life holding on to a possibility like that isn't even sadder than dying? Imagine living with the anxiety and uncertainty of whether the person you love is really willing to spend the rest of their life with you.

— That’s basically masochism. Why would he think that?

— Because, after all, it’s a possibility — Satoru was serious. — At first, taking care of a sick person might be fine because you love them more than anything, but as time goes on, all these obligations would become exhausting. She would realize that all of her free time was spent on her boyfriend, not herself. They wouldn’t be able to travel wherever they wanted because of his condition, they couldn’t be too far from the city in case something happened and they needed to get him to the hospital. She’d have to put up with a much more complicated, monotonous, and exhausting life. Who would put up with that for him? Just because they love him? It doesn’t make sense. It never will make sense to me.

The room became quiet once again, only the dialogue from the movie could be heard as Suguru reflected on what had just been said.

Satoru didn’t seem to be talking about the movie in those last sentences. It seemed like he was talking about something deeper, something Suguru couldn’t identify.

— I still think it would be selfish — he said after a while. — He loved someone who loved him back, so why give up on everything before even trying to be happy?

Satoru stared at him for a moment and blinked a few times. For some reason, he was starting to get irritated.

— Do you realize how ironic it is to hear you say that? You literally tried to kill yourself.

Suguru felt a bitter taste in his mouth.

— It’s different — his expression darkened. — It’s completely different.

— Why?

— It’s just different, okay? — Suguru answered roughly and turned back to the TV. — I don’t have to explain anything to you.

Ah. Okay. Satoru got the hint.

— Well, I still think it would be selfish to make him live like that if he wasn’t happy. His family and friends were just worried about themselves, thinking about how much they’d suffer when he died. It’s the same with those movies where the character’s been in a coma for years, but the parents don’t pull the plug because they can’t see beyond their own noses.

The sentence hit Suguru like a punch to the stomach. His shoulders tensed, and his fists clenched automatically. It was as if the air around him became heavy, suffocating. He tried to focus on the present, but Satoru’s words echoed in his mind, exposing a wound that had never healed.

The memories came crashing back, dragging with them the guilt and regret he did everything to keep buried in his subconscious, even though it all happened seven years ago. Satoru had no idea how heavy those words were, he couldn’t know, and even though Suguru was aware of this, he couldn’t stop the overwhelming rage building in his chest.

— How can you say something so stupid? — His voice came out lower than usual. — Do you have any idea what you're saying?

Satoru was confused by the boy’s reaction, he hadn’t said anything that bad. Had he?

— But I’m telling the truth. — Would you like to live the rest of your life in a vegetative state? By the way, can that even be called living? Stuck on a hospital bed?

— The person could wake up at any moment! — Suguru practically shouted.

— Or they may never wake up! — Not understanding, Satoru also raised his voice — I get waiting for a few months, maybe a year or two, but what about those people who stay in a coma for years without any prediction of when they might wake up? It doesn't make sense. It’s pure selfishness.

— So you would like to be killed if you went into a coma?

— Of course, wouldn't you? — Now Satoru was starting to get irritated by the tone Suguru was using with him — Isn't that why you're here? Because you want to fucking die?

That was the last straw. The spark that made Suguru explode with rage.

He stood up from the couch and grabbed Satoru’s shirt just like he did the first time they met.

— And you know why I want to die, you piece of shit? — He gripped the fabric even harder — Do you know anything about me to feel entitled to talk that so casually?

Satoru wasn’t thinking clearly anymore. He was also filled with rage and frustration.

— Of course not — He grabbed Suguru’s shirt back — You don’t talk about shit! I’ve been trying since day one to get close to you, but you never give anyone a chance to understand or help you, so how could I know anything?

Suguru laughed dryly. That was too much hypocrisy.

— And did I ask for this? Did I ask you to annoy me every day and keep chasing me? — He let go of Satoru’s shirt roughly, making him stagger backward — You have no right to demand that I talk about my problems when I still don’t have the slightest idea why you’re here. It’s like a fucking state secret!

Suguru could already hear some voices outside, an agitation among the other patients, who seemed concerned with all the shouting.

He couldn’t care less.

— You don’t understand — Satoru answered weakly, looking down.

— I don’t understand because you don’t talk about shit! — Suguru shouted — I just asked you one fucking question and you acted like I offended you. Do you even need to be confined in a place like this? Or are you just here because you’ve got nothing better to do?

Satoru’s expression shifted from distress to seriousness. That assumption was cruel, and Suguru knew it, but he wasn’t being rational.

— You better shut the fuck up, Suguru.

— Why? Did I hit a weak spot? Huh? Or did I guess the whole truth? That you’re just some weird little boy begging for attention?

Satoru was already fed up. His breath was erratic, and his fists were clenched, showing the rage that took over him. Still, he breathed deeply to calm himself for a moment, needing to leave before this fight escalated into something worse.

— You’re a fucking idiot — He said, preparing to leave.

But before Satoru could really turn his back on Suguru, he felt a punch hit his face.

He stared at the boy in shock while holding his own jaw, the familiar metallic taste filling his mouth. He smiled as blood dripped from his chin, which looked even redder under the cold light of the room.

— So, is this how it’s going to be?

Satoru lunged at Suguru, knocking him to the floor and getting on top of him. He took another punch during the move but managed to hold the boy beneath him.

— Get the fuck off!

— Is this what you need to calm down? Huh?! — Gojo held his wrists tighter — Because if that’s the case, you can keep hitting me as much as you want, Geto. I don’t fucking care.

Satoru ran his hand over the wound, which bled enough to drip onto Suguru’s shirt. He slid his bloody hand across the boy’s face beneath him, who was so shocked by this action that all he could do was stare at him, in disbelief.

— But if this is really what you want, you can’t be afraid to get dirty — Satoru added.

Suguru froze. His eyes were fixed on the face above his. The cold, sticky sensation made him feel a lump in his throat. The rage and disgust mixed into a single impulse. Hate burned in his chest, but the shock kept him from reacting. Satoru’s gesture... He didn’t know how to deal with it.

Satoru hesitated for a moment, his bloodied hand frozen on Suguru’s face as he realized the dark-haired boy was staring at him too intensely. His gaze was so filled with hate that something inside him faltered, for a moment, Gojo felt a discomfort he couldn’t identify. However, that moment didn’t last long, and he composed himself, a cutting smile forming on his lips.

Suguru hated that fucking smile.

— Stop acting like you're untouchable! — He screamed with rage, his voice echoing through the empty corridor — Do you think you have the right to act superior when you can’t even deal with your own life?

Satoru hesitated, and for a second, Suguru could swear that the usual spark in his eyes disappeared.

— And you think hitting me will make me change? How profound, Suguru.

— You’re fucking pathetic.

Their dialogue was interrupted when two nurses rushed into the room. One of them pulled Gojo off of Geto, while the other pulled him away, likely to prevent the two from continuing the fight.

— What happened here?! — One of them asked, seeing the amount of blood on both of their faces.

— I confessed my feelings to Suguru, but he didn’t react very well — Satoru replied, smiling again, his usual playful tone returning even after such a situation — Who would’ve thought he hated me so much, huh?

He looked directly into Suguru’s eyes and became serious.

— You son of a b-— Suguru was about to lunge at him, but the nurse behind him didn’t allow it.

— Calm down, Suguru!

— I’ll take Satoru straight to the infirmary. You stay with Suguru.and call Masamichi.

As the nurse took Satoru by the arm, he shot one last look at Suguru.

— What’s the matter? Are you just going to stand there? — He smiled, the blood still dripping from his chin. — I bet you’ll be thinking about me tonight.

Driven by anger, Suguru irrationally tried to free himself from the nurse’s grip, but of course, he couldn’t.

— You need to calm down! — The man said, tightening his grip on his wrists — What were you thinking when you hit your colleague? Nothing justifies such an action!

Nothing justifies?

Ha

Suguru laughed bitterly, looking down. The nurse was clearly worried, trying to contain the situation.

— He didn’t fight back — Suguru said quietly, too low for the man to hear.

— What?

— He didn’t fight back, just smeared his own blood on my face. I’m not hurt.

The nurse stared at him, not quite sure what to say.

— Can you let me go now? — Suguru asked, almost pleading.

— Even though you're not hurt, I need to supervise you for now. I’ll take you to the bathroom to clean up, then you’ll stay in your room until Dr. Masamichi arrives.

Suguru didn’t reply.

After all, he had no choice.

What was done was done.

And there was no going back.

Notes:

Hi everyone, as promised, here’s this week's double update ♡
What do y'all think Satoru has? Any theories?
Let me know in the comments!

Chapter 6: room 008

Content Warning

This chapter contains descriptions of intense medical situations and scenes that may be emotionally challenging for some readers. We recommend caution if you are sensitive to themes related to medical emergencies or physical crises.

 

 

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

 

 

 

That cold and familiar sensation took over my body once again, embracing it as if it no longer belonged to me.

The darkness was dense. I could barely see a hand's breadth in front of me.

The sound of water around me drowned out any thought trying to form. I could only hear my own heartbeat, echoing too loudly like anguished screams.

I was in that place again. Always the same fucking place.

Immediately, that need to find you emerged. Desperation consumed me once more and I knew that every second down here could be crucial if I wanted to save you.

I dove into the deep. My blurred vision didn't help.

I needed to find you at any cost.

Any cost.

Once again, I swam far enough into the depths of that lake to see your hair. Your long, black hair.

And then, I screamed your name.

 

(...)

 

Suguru's eyes shot open. His heart pounding in his chest as that nightmare was interrupted by a loud noise. It seemed like a bang followed by some indecipherable murmurs. Didn’t sound like anything he’d ever heard before.

As usual, it took him a few seconds to recognize where he was. He remembered taking a shower after his fight with Satoru, then getting scolded by the nurse, and finally falling asleep while waiting for Dr. Masamichi to arrive.

The melancholy of having dreamt of the worst day of his life once again mixed with the twisted guilt he would never stop feeling made him want to never get up again.

But Suguru couldn't focus on these feelings for long. As he sat up in bed he realized that his bedroom door was ajar and on the other side he could hear nurses talking and footsteps hurrying back and forth.

He furrowed his brow, confused.

Something was wrong.

— ROOM EIGHT, WE NEED THE ENTIRE MEDICAL TEAM IN ROOM 008 IMMEDIATELY.

His expression changed completely when he realized where they were headed.

That was Satoru’s room.

Suguru didn’t even realize what he was doing. His body moved on its own as soon as he heard those words. Before he knew it, he was running toward the door of the boy he had punched twice just a few hours ago.

Inside the room stood a man in a lab coat, whom Suguru recognized as the general practitioner he’d seen a few times at the Institute. He was only called in for serious cases, which made Suguru’s stomach churn.

There were also two nurses positioned around Satoru’s bed, blocking Suguru’s view of what was happening. He tried to see past them, feeling increasingly distressed that he couldn’t.

Until his eyes finally found Gojo.

His body seemed frozen for a moment, stiff, before it began contorting violently. His skin turned pale, with bluish patches appearing in some places, and foam gathered around his lips.

— Hold his head. No objects in the mouth and keep the airways open — the doctor ordered.

The team worked in sync, adjusting pillows around Satoru’s head and stabilizing his arms and legs to prevent him from hurting himself.

— I'm already timing it. If we go over 5 minutes, we'll have to administer medication, so have the needles ready —

The doctor was holding a stopwatch as he watched the boy struggling on the bed. He had watchful eyes of a competent professional who had probably dealt with this kind of situation a thousand times before. Even so, Suguru couldn't find that coldness normal, not when every atom of his being was in complete despair.

In the midst of so much going on he noticed that Satoru's breathing was irregular in a way he had never seen before. A distressing sound was coming out of his mouth and nose, a sound that Geto would never be able to forget.

The boy continued convulsing violently. Every movement in the room was calculated and precise.

Suguru, however, stood trembling, his hands at his sides, unable to tear his eyes away from the scene that seemed to stretch on forever. His stomach churned and his heart pounded so loudly he could swear it drowned out the voices of the people in the room. He was frozen, trapped in a state of catatonia.

And he hated himself for it.

But even if Suguru could move, what would he do? How could he help in a situation like this? He swallowed hard, the bitter taste in his mouth perfectly matching the feeling consuming him: Useless, helpless. Even though this wasn’t his responsibility, even though he insisted he hated the boy convulsing in front of him.

Suguru was snapped back to reality when Masamichi appeared at the door, only then noticing the psychiatrist was also in the room.

— Return to your room, Suguru. He’s going to be fine — Masamichi said firmly.

Even though the exchange lasted only seconds, Masamichi caught the look on Geto’s face. He knew instantly the weight of what the boy had just witnessed, and how deeply it had affected him.

As the door began to close, Suguru stepped forward as if to protest, but no words came out. They seemed stuck in his throat. Before the psychiatrist fully shut the door, Suguru desperately sought Satoru’s eyes one last time, but his irises were nowhere to be seen.

 

(...)

 

Suguru was waiting in the common room. Staring at a fixed spot on the wall while his mind insistently replayed the scene over and over again.  

Satoru's eyes, his saliva dripping, the way his body struggled endlessly, the feeling of imposing, the cold sweat that ran down his forehead, the doctor's calm that for some reason made him very uncomfortable.

That image would remain in his mind forever.

— Found you.  

It was Masamichi.  

The psychiatrist sat down beside the boy, who had his hands resting on his knees, squeezing his fingers so tightly that his knuckles turned white, in a futile attempt to contain the emotions boiling inside him.  

— It couldn’t have been easy to witness that.  

Suguru didn’t respond for a few seconds, recalling everything once more.  

— What was that? What’s wrong with him?  

From his expression and the way he spoke, Masamichi could tell how much the boy was tormented.  

— It’s —  

— Please don't give me that nonsense about confidentiality — Suguru interrupted impatiently.  

— It’s an epileptic disorder — Masamichi sighed. He wasn't planning on omitting it again — But I really can’t give you more details than that. I believe Satoru wouldn’t mind explaining if you decided to go a little easier on him — He chuckled.  

Suguru would normally roll his eyes at a comment like that but instead, he simply continued staring blankly ahead.  

So Satoru had epilepsy. That was his condition.  

Suguru knew nothing about it.  

— Is he okay?  

— Yes. He's already been medicated. But Satoru gets very tired after a crisis, so let's let him sleep for a while — Masamichi's short smile was welcoming — When he wakes up he'll probably act as if nothing had happened, so it would be good if you tried to talk to him.

Suguru turned to him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  

— We fought. Badly. Why would he want to open up to me?  

— I’m aware of that — Masamichi’s expression briefly turned serious  — and we do need to talk about it — His tone softened again — But for now, I think we can set that aside. 

Suguru stared at the floor, swallowing hard as the idea that their fight could have triggered the seizure began to weigh heavily on his chest.  

That thought gripped his mind, causing his hands to tremble visibly. Small, involuntary spasms in his legs betrayed the tension coursing through him.  

“It was my fault. I hit him. My God, I fucking punched him. And now he’s lying there, suffering in pain. How much pain does he feel during a seizure? Did he see me there? Does he hate me now? It’s all my fault. It’s my fault. Again, it’s my fucking fault.”  

— Suguru! — Masamichi’s voice cut through his spiraling thoughts. It seemed it wasn’t the first time he’d called him — It’s not your fault!  

The psychiatrist was gripping his shoulders, forcing him to meet his eyes.  

And just like that, Suguru snapped back to reality.  

— But... I... hit him... — His voice came out low, like a whisper.  

— If the fight had triggered the seizure, it would have happened while you were still on top of him. The seizure started hours later around midnight, it was long after your altercation. Don’t worry.  

Masamichi was a doctor, a professional. He wasn’t saying this just to comfort Suguru, it was the truth. Yet something in Suguru’s subconscious wouldn’t let him fully believe those words.  

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. Sensing this, Masamichi released his grip on the boy’s shoulders, giving him more space.  

— I still don’t understand why you want me to talk to him.  

— You know Satoru has this tendency to pretend everything is fine. This urgency to always appear strong isn’t good for his treatment. In fact, avoiding reality and ignoring one’s problems isn’t healthy in any situation.  

— Ok. And why, of all people, should I talk to him? — He stared at the floor again with a closed expression - It doesn't make sense.

— Because you care about him, Suguru. And you know it.  

Suguru finally lifted his gaze to meet Masamichi’s, hesitating. He didn’t know how to respond.  

Did he really care about Gojo? Or was all this feeling just a combo of curiosity and remorse for the fight earlier? His mind was a whirlwind of disconnected thoughts, a chaos he couldn't sort out.

Suguru wanted to believe that he didn't care about Satoru. After all, what he felt was just restlessness. Yes, that should be it, right? A natural reflex for having witnessed something so... heavy.

But then, why did Satoru's expression, his eyes rolled back, his face contorted with pain, keep popping into his mind? Why did this sight feel like a punch in the gut every time he blinked?

Suguru clenched his fists. It was a strange feeling, almost as if a voice was whispering in his mind that perhaps he cared about that boy more than he wanted to admit.

And admitting it felt wrong. It meant opening a door to something he wasn't ready to face.

— If you didn't care you wouldn't be as worried and distressed as you are — Masamichi added, as if he could read his mind — Being treated here helps, but we're human beings. Doctors and medicines aren't all we need to get better. You may not realize it now, but maybe he needs you as much as you need him. In certain situations, having support and someone to talk to can be as effective as the effect of a pill.

The doctor paused

— But obviously the treatment is just as important, just to be clear.

Suguru finally let out a weak laugh, which made Masamichi smile too.

— Yeah. Right.

— Well, think about what I told you — he stood up — Satoru will be fine in an hour or two. I can let you know when he wakes up, if you like.

Suguru remained silent, his expression a little softer than before, which made Masamichi feel a little more relieved.

He waited for the boy to respond in some way, and when he realized that wouldn't happen he walked towards the door.

— Masamichi... — Geto said before he left — Please... Hm... Let me know when he wakes up.

The doctor smiled, somewhat proudly

— Of course.

Notes:

Hello my dears, I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Finally, now you know why Satoru is hospitalized. But I assure you that there is still a lot to discover.
See you next Friday ♡

Chapter 7: Dawn

When Satoru woke up the room was already dark and all the hallway lights were off, no sign of any nurses or doctors nearby.

He sighed in exhaustion, observing the needle stuck in his vein and the intravenous fluid hanging beside him. When he woke up like this he knew it had been a long seizure, which explained the intense muscle pain. Gojo was used to it by now, but it didn't change the fact that it was fucking awful.

Satoru adjusted himself in the bed, which was reclined so that he wasn’t lying completely flat. Only then did he notice the presence of someone else there.

Suguru was sitting in the armchair next to the bed, his arms crossed on the mattress with his head resting on them. His hair, usually tied in a bun, was now a bit looser. The elastic almost slipping off.

Gojo paused for a second, admiring the simplicity of the scene as a sudden urge to stroke Suguru's hair came over him. He wanted to know how soft it was and smell the scent of his shampoo up close. Satoru could almost feel the softness of the strands, like a silent temptation that trapped his mind.

He was so beautiful.

Taken by this irresistible desire, he slowly brought his hand closer. There were just a few centimeters — or maybe less — from touching it, but when he realized what he was doing he pulled it back.

Suguru hated him. He had made that very clear the day before when he punched Satoru in the face twice. If Suguru woke up with Satoru's hands touching him he'd probably cut off all his fingers with a dull knife.

But then... Why was he here? Why was he sleeping beside him after everything that had happened?

And more importantly, why wasn't Satoru mad at him? And why, instead of being irritated, was he happy to wake up by his side?

Gojo brought his hands to his own face, rubbing it forcefully in frustration. He stared at the white ceiling above him wondering what he should do or if there was even anything to be done in this situation.

He didn’t want Suguru to have seen that part of him, to know this broken and corrupted side. For the first time, Satoru wished he could use the confidentiality imposed by his parents to his advantage, but now it was too late.

Suguru shifted beside him and Satoru closed his eyes in that same instant.

— When did I fall asleep? — Geto groaned in discomfort, sitting up again.

Satoru kept his eyes closed just enough to seem like he was still asleep but slightly open to observe the boy's movements.

Suguru stretched and removed the elastic from his hair, making Satoru hold his breath as he watched those silky strands fall over his shoulders. All Suguru did was tie his hair back again, but Gojo found that moment to be the most attractive thing he had ever witnessed.

Silence returned to the room when Suguru stopped moving. It was already late when he witnessed Satoru's seizure, so he knew he could only see him in the morning. Still, Geto couldn't sleep at all when he went back to his room. So he decided to check on Gojo just for a few minutes, and then return to his bed.

He must have fallen asleep when he thought about the possibility of Satoru having another seizure when no one was around. He didn’t want to leave him alone.

The wall clock showed just past 5 a.m. revealing that he hadn’t slept even 20 minutes.

He sighed and his eyes then focused on the boy sleeping in front of him. Satoru's serene expression and weak breathing were completely different from what he had seen earlier.

He didn’t even look like the same person.

Suguru felt relieved knowing Satoru was better. Overcome by this calm feeling Suguru stayed for a while, just watching him in silence.

But when he realized what he was doing — staring at Satoru Gojo in the dark of his room like a creep — he decided to get up. After all, his intention was just to check if the boy was really okay.

And as soon as he did, Suguru was surprised by Satoru’s hand grabbing his wrist.

— Please stay... — he weakly asked, not even opening his eyes properly. — I don’t want to be alone.

Suguru swallowed hard, looking at that unexpected touch.

He thought for a few seconds. Looked at the clock. Looked at Satoru

And finally decided to sat back down, still reluctant.

— How are you feeling? — Geto asked.

No answer. All he could hear was Satoru’s calm breathing showing he had fallen back asleep.

And still, he didn’t let go of his arm.

Suguru found it somewhat funny, but didn’t laugh.

With nothing to do and no sleep in him, he began to observe the room around him, only now realizing how different it was from his own.

Satoru's room had several medical devices Suguru didn’t recognize and had a strong smell of antiseptic. If he didn’t know better, he’d think it was a regular hospital room not a teenager’s dorm.

Besides that, Suguru also noticed that Gojo hadn’t put any decorations on the walls unlike all the other boys at the place.

He also didn't care about decorating his room with posters or anything like that, but at least he had some books, headphones and cassette tapes. Satoru had none of that, it seemed like the room didn’t actually belong to anyone.

His gaze landed on Satoru’s hand again, the needle stuck there showing that the seizure had lasted more than five minutes. He hadn’t forgotten the doctor’s words.

A sudden urge to hold that hand filled his chest. Suguru wanted to make Satoru feel even slightly safer at that moment. Even though Masamichi had said no he still felt guilty about what happened, like it was his responsibility.

But he couldn’t do it.

He wouldn’t hold his hand.

He shouldn’t even be thinking about it, especially after that fight.

No

No.

NO!

Carefully, Suguru intertwined his fingers with Satoru’s.

He didn’t know what he was doing or why he was doing it. He just felt like he needed to.

But as soon as he looked back at Satoru he saw him smiling, a small, contained smile, still with his eyes closed.

— I knew you were awake! — Suguru exclaimed, pulling his hand away from the boy abruptly.

His face was as red as a tomato.

— That was kinda gay — Satoru finally opened his eyes.

— I’ll punch you again, — Geto retorted, seriously.

— And I’ll like it.

Satoru knew it wasn’t the right time for jokes, but he couldn’t resistt. Not with reactions as good as the look of disbelief Suguru was showing at that exact moment.

— Dude. Seriously, what’s your problem?

— I think now you know exactly what my problem is.

Suguru pursed his lips, staring at the white sheets. It took a while for him to answer.

— Did you see me?

— No — Satoru adjusted himself in bed — When I’m having a seizure I lose consciousness and I can’t see anything around me. I only feel pain at the beginning... It’s like I faint. But when I woke up the first time I heard Masamichi talking to the other doctor about how worried he was that you’d witnessed it.

Suguru shifted uncomfortably in the chair. He felt like he shouldn’t have seen what he saw, as if he had caught a very intimate moment without consent. Which in a way, wasn’t entirely wrong.

— How are you feeling? — He asked finally.

— Sore — Satoru stretched his arm and made a pained expression, smilling right after — But don’t worry, I’m used to this. After some painkillers it’ll pass.

The room was dark, but not dark enough for the boys not to see each other. Suguru could notice the weary look on Satoru’s face, the deep dark circles under his eyes, his tired expression and the bruises covered with two bandages from the fight earlier. Even so, he still wore that smile, the smile of someone who didn’t seem to be affected by their own reality.

Suguru kind of envied that.

— I was an asshole — Geto looked down, a bit embarrassed — I shouldn’t have hit you... Twice.

Satoru observed that expression, remembering how Suguru looked covered in his blood. He felt like a maniac for thinking about it, especially at a time like this.

But what could he do? That's how he is.

— I wasn’t very... polite either. Even though I didn’t really understand why you got so angry.

Suguru felt anxiety tightening in his chest as he remembered the reason for his outburst and the guilt that consumed him for thinking it had been the trigger for the attack.

— It was because of me, wasn’t it?

When he looked up at Satoru, his eyes showed desperation. Gojo’s calm expression turned to concern and he instantly understood what Geto was trying to say.

— No! — He abruptly got out of bed, sitting up.

Satoru couldn’t suppress a groan of pain from the sudden movement. Suguru immediately got up as well.

— Stay lying down! — He pushed his shoulders — For god’s sake, don’t make any sudden movements.

— It wasn’t your fault! — Satoru ignored him, staying seated on the bed.

The two stared at each other, their faces were closer. Suguru didn’t seem to fully believe that, and Satoru didn’t let that go unnoticed.

— Look — He started speaking before Geto could think any more nonsense — Yeah. You were a fucking asshole and no, I don’t think what I said to you was enough of a reason for me to get punched in the face twice. But right after the nurse took me out of there he measured my vital signs and did that brain scan that I don’t even remember the name of. Nothing out of the ordinary. The only thing different was that my adrenaline was a bit high.

— And that’s not enough for a person with epilepsy to have a seizure?

— In my case, no — Satoru sighed — Can you sit back down? Please?

Reluctantly, Suguru obeyed.

— Are you sure?

— I am, Suguru — Gojo smiled.

There were still so many questions that Geto wanted to ask, but he didn’t know where to start. He wasn’t sure if he should touch on this topic anymore.

The room began to light up, revealing the beginning of dawn as Satoru adjusted himself in bed before continuing to speak. 

— It all started because my dad came to see me.

Suguru stared at him, surprised that he gave the reason without needing to ask. Until then, every attempt he’d made had been met with that unbearable suspense.

He didn’t say anything, waiting for Satoru to continue.

— Let’s just say me and him... Uh... Yeah. We’re not exactly good friends. We’ve never had a good relationship — He scratched his neck — I don’t know if you knew, but my family has been deeply involved in politics for... I don’t know how many generations, and I’m an only child. Ever since I started having seizures, they decided to hide the fact that I’m sick in every way possible.

Suguru had heard the surname “Gojo” in some news broadcasts or read it in newspaper headlines, but he never paid much attention to it. Much less connected the surname to the guy in front of him, even though it seemed obvious now.

— Last year, these epileptic seizures started getting more frequent after I had a car accident...

While speaking, Satoru stopped looking at Suguru. It was the first time he did that. His eyes were fixed on the white sheet in front of him as if it wsd the most interesting thing in the world. His voice carried an almost palpable pain, despite pretending not to care.

— And guess what they did? — He laughed, not finding it funny at all — They locked me up here since March, because they can’t accept that their perfect son has an incurable disease. So the solution is to pretend I don’t exist. The press knows they have a son but when they ask about me my parents say I went to study abroad.

— Wait... So you’ve been here for five months? — Suguru asked in disbelief.

— And counting — Satoru looked at him again — I have no idea when I’ll be able to leave here. Actually, it doesn’t make much difference. I never had much freedom anyway since I was raised inside the house from... I don’t know, always. Never had many friends, never met many people.

The more Satoru spoke, the more Suguru wanted to know.

— Oh... So that’s why you’re so weird — He commented, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Satoru was surprised by that before letting out a laugh.

— Yeah, you could say that — He smiled.

Suguru felt good about being the reason for that smile.

— Is that why you couldn’t tell me? Is that why no one could talk about it with me?

— Did you ask other people about me?

Fuck...

— Well... — Suguru coughed — Uh...

— You really got obsessed with me, didn’t you? — Satoru poked his cheek, and Suguru immediately pulled his hand away, making him laugh — Yeah. That’s exactly why I couldn’t say. My parents made all the professionals who work here sign a confidentiality contract to ensure no information about me leaks. Even the patients who get discharged have to sign it. — Satoru clicked his tongue, expressing restrained anger — Fucked-up maniacs.

Wasn’t that too cruel? Treating your own son like that just because he has an illness was inhumane. Didn’t they care about Satoru? Didn’t they visit him even once? Suguru felt a lump form in his stomach.

Thinking about it, he had never seen anyone visit Satoru in the entire month he had been hospitalized, not even letters came for him in the mail.

— So why did your dad come here then?

— Because someone hit his son — Satoru answered as if it were obvious — Masamichi warned him, and he came to see what had happened, but he didn’t seem to care much because we started fighting a few minutes later, and then he came at me.

— He hit you?! — Suguru said too loudly, unable to contain himself.

— No. Masamichi didn’t let him, but I started having a seizure shortly after that. That was the trigger this time.

Suguru stared at his own hands, his right fist slightly injured in the knuckles. He felt like a real piece of shit.

— And that son of a bitch doesn’t feel even a little guilty?

Satoru let out a dry laugh. It was such an absurd scenario, so distant from reality, that just thinking about it was funny.

— You know what he did when I started having a seizure? — Satoru paused — He left. Without saying anything. Without showing any reaction.

The boys stared at each other in silence again. Suguru could feel the mix of hatred and pain in those eyes. It was so evident that it made him feel it too.

— I... I’m sorry... — Suguru said after a while.

— Why? — Satoru didn’t seem to care — It’s not your fault.

— I know it’s not my fault, but no one deserves to be treated like that, especially by their own parents! — He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated — This is... Fuck, this is revolting!

Satoru wanted to laugh, not because he thought the reaction was funny, but because he hadn’t expected Suguru to get so angry.

— I just don’t care anymore — He shrugged — It would hurt more if they at least treated me better before, but it’s always been like this. I think they only had me because it’s what’s expected of a couple of politicians: A child. I’ve never had real freedom, and I’ll stay locked up here indefinitely. If they killed me, it wouldn’t be that bad.

That was the deepest conversation they had ever had, Suguru knew that. He also knew it hadn’t been hard for Satoru to let it all out.

Still, he let out a laugh.

Gojo stared at him, confused. He didn’t mind, he just didn’t understand.

— You kinda sounded just like me — Suguru explained.

— Oh — Satoru laughed too — That’s true. Maybe I’m suicidal too, in some way.

— Maybe — Suguru smiled a little.

Once again the silence took over, and the boys stopped looking at each other. They didn’t know exactly why but the atmosphere in that room had become a bit different from what it usually was.

— Now that I’ve answered all your doubts — Satoru said after a while — Can I ask you a question? Just one.

For the first time, Suguru didn’t feel like refusing.

— Okay — He crossed his arms — Ask.

— Why did you come to my room?

The first rays of sunlight were already beginning to enter the room. Ridiculously, the golden light illuminated Suguru's dark hair, forming a beautiful and unique contrast.

He didn’t seem shaken by the question.

— I was worried about you.

Satoru expected any answer, except that one. Especially in that way, without the slightest reluctance.

He couldn’t respond. Instead, all he did was contain the strangely strong joy that rose in his chest.

— Why did you tell me everything? — Suguru asked after a while.

There were many reasons for that, the main one being that Satoru simply didn’t care anymore, he couldn’t stand hiding who he was and living in the shadows as if his existence was a burden. Confidentiality agreements? Fuck that, he wasn’t going to keep restraining himself and hiding from the first person he felt wanted his friendship.

But instead of saying all that, he simply replied:

— I don’t know — He laughed weakly — I think there’s something about you that makes me feel comfortable.

Suguru smiled, he couldn’t hide it. Something in the air felt lighter now.

— Good morning, Satoru — A nurse entered, interrupting the moment — I need to change your IV. Oh, good morning to you too, Suguru.

— Good morning — Geto scratched his neck, trying to disguise the awkwardness of being there, as if he were an intruder in the small bubble that had just formed. — I think I need to go.

He stood up, not knowing what to do with the slight feeling of discomfort that remained after that exchange of words.

Satoru just nodded with a simple “Okay” to disguise his disappointment. He didn’t want Suguru to leave, but it was almost 7 o’clock.

The nurse ignored the two of them while changing the IV, not rushing to finish the task. He secretly observed their interaction; it seemed like they had made up.

Suguru walked to the door.

— Hey — Satoru said, before he left — See you later?

He stopped for a moment, as if weighing the meaning of the question. 

— See you later.

 

Notes:

In this chapter a little more about Satoru's past was revealed in honor of his birthday
Congratulations to my beautiful wife Satoru Gojo (*･ω･)ﾉ”┌iii┐♡
What did you guys think? And the award for worst parents of the year goes to...
See you later! (next Friday)

Chapter 8: Hearts, rabbits, and mustached cats

Every Tuesday and Thursday, the last room at the end of the first-floor hallway was reserved for ceramics class, which started in the middle of the afternoon.

Suguru still doubted that this type of activity could actually help with his depression. But he didn’t have much of a choice, so it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Besides, it was either this or group therapy. And he—unironically—would rather die than go back there.

A long sigh escaped his lips before he stepped into the room.

— You must be Suguru Geto, right? — the teacher asked as soon as she saw him. — Masamichi told me we’d have a new student joining us today. You can sit wherever you like.

She seemed friendly.

— Okay, thanks — he replied, smiling awkwardly.

The moment Geto turned toward the tables, his eyes immediately landed on the white hair he’d seen so many times around the institute. Satoru was lying across a table, his head turned toward the window.

Normally, avoiding him would’ve been the obvious choice. But ever since that conversation they’d had in Gojo’s room, Suguru no longer felt the need to push him away. In fact, he was surprised by a sudden urge to get closer to the boy now that he understood him a little better. It was weird.

He noticed the empty seat beside Gojo and took it, sitting down quietly. Satoru was sleeping so deeply that he didn’t even notice his presence.

The teacher began the lesson, her voice was loud enough for everyone to hear. Even so, Satoru didn’t move a muscle. His breathing was so heavy it almost sounded like a faint snore.

Suguru observed that serene face, the face of someone who seemed to be having the best sleep of his life.

Without thinking twice, he let his fingers snap a precise flick at the back of Satoru’s neck.

— WHAT?! — Gojo shot up abruptly.

— ...I said we’re making mugs today, Satoru — the teacher threw him a dull glance.

— Oh... Right — he grinned sheepishly, scratching the sore spot.

The teacher continued her instructions while Gojo heard a muffled laugh. To his surprise, it came from Geto sitting beside him, a small smile barely hidden behind his hand.

— Seriously? A flick?

— You should be thanking me — Suguru replied, still looking ahead. — If it weren’t for me, you’d still be asleep. It’s called kindness.

Satoru yawned, stretching his arms above his head.

“He’s probably drowsy from the medication,” Suguru thought, always noticing the smallest details when it came to Satoru.

— If you want to be kind, then how about waking me up with a kiss next time? Hm? — Gojo puckered his lips, leaning closer and closer to Geto. — Hmmmmm??

Suguru grimaced and pushed his face away.

— Knock it off. Pay attention to what she’s saying.

Satoru huffed, turning toward the front. This was the third mug he’d be making that year.

— We always make a mug when someone new joins the class. It’s boring. — He rested his chin on his hand, spinning a pencil between his fingers, clearly uninterested.

— Fine, but I’ve never made one before, so stop beeing anoying.

Suguru began following the teacher’s instructions, grabbing a lump of clay and wetting his hands.

— Didn’t know you were interested in ceramics — Gojo didn’t move, watching the boy closely.

He acted as if he didn’t care, even though deep down, he was happy to wake up next to him again. Satoru was afraid Suguru might pull away after what he’d seen or start treating him differently now that he knew the truth about his family.

But none of that happened.

Maybe they really were becoming friends.

— I'm not, but I don't have a choice do I? — Geto slid his fingers over the damp clay.

— Yeah you do. Just don’t take it seriously — Gojo replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Suddenly, the boredom on Satoru's face gave way to a radiant expression, as if a brilliant idea had just struck him.

— What? You’re scaring me.

— Wanna see the stuff I’ve made?

Suguru opened his mouth to reply, but Satoru had already gotten up and walked to the counter at the back of the room, returning within seconds with some sculptures in his arms.

— Oh. My. God.

— This one’s a rabbit — Satoru placed one of the pieces on the table. — But something went wrong in the kiln, and I think its face melted… Maybe I used too much water? Anyway, this one was supposed to be a heart, but it looks more like a dick — he chuckled — And this last one is a cat, with a big ol’ mustache.

Suguru stared at the hideous sculptures as if he’d just seen his wrinkled grandmother in a bathtub.

— Satoru… They’re so fucking ugly.

— Oh, come on, they’re not that bad.

— They’re hideous.

— Hey.

— Grotesque.

— Okay.

— Abominable.

— Yeti-level?

— Seriously, looking at them feels almost obscene.

— Damn.

— Were you wearing boxing gloves while making these or something?

Satoru could’ve been offended, but he hadn’t put any effort into those sculptures, so he just found Suguru’s reaction hilarious.

And let’s be honest he wasn’t trying to make a heart, it was just a penis.

— Alright, Picasso. Since your critical sense is so refined, you should at least be better than me.

— This is my first class of course I’ll make something bad. You’ve been here for five months. You should at least be able to make… a heart.

That thing looked way too realistic, and Suguru could swear it was staring back at him.

— Then make a heart, go ahead — Satoru propped his chin on his hands again. — Show me your incredible skills, oh mighty Suguru.

— I want to make a mug — Geto replied stubbornly.

— So you can’t make a heart?

— Nice try, Satoru. I’m not gonna do what you want just because you keep provoking me.

Suguru began shaping the lump of clay in his hands, and to his surprise, Gojo didn’t retort. He just watched silently for a while.

But he should’ve been suspicious because, just a few minutes later, Satoru poked his finger right into the clay.

— You fucking bitch! — Suguru pulled the clay away from him, but Satoru grinned mischievously and stretched toward him again.

— Oh, am I bothering you? — He kept poking. — C’mon, a mug with holes would be so cool!

— How’s a mug supposed to work with holes in it?! — Suguru tried to swat his hand away, but now Satoru was using the other one. — Stop poking holes in my mug!

— Want me to poke my finger somewhere else instead?

— Oh, fuck off!

The two started a kind of wrestling match with their hands in the middle of that clay. A chunk of it splattered onto Satoru’s white bangs while Suguru tried unsuccessfully to keep a straight face, despite his own being covered in clay stains.

The mold, which had started to take shape, was now just a muddy mess. The slippery clay made Gojo’s hands impossible to grab, and Suguru grew more frustrated as the grin on that idiot’s face widened.

— STOP IT, SATORU!

The teacher, who was in the middle of explaining how to shape the mug’s handle turned to look at the boys. The room went silent.

— Satoru and Suguru! — she scolded.

They immediately let go of each other, but the abrupt movement caused the table to shake, sending the sculptures tumbling into a rather peculiar arrangement.

The “heart” ended up perfectly positioned on the mustachioed cat, while the rabbit toppled toward them.

Suguru and Satoru froze. It looked like…

A scene of oral sex.

Gojo and Geto stifled their laughter almost simultaneously, pressing their lips together as they glanced at the teacher, who was staring at them with a deadly look.

— S-Sorry, ma’am… — Suguru said, his voice trembling as he struggled to suppress the laugh bubbling in his throat.

— Y-Yeah... Sorry — Satoru added in the same tone. — We’ll behave.

The woman glared at them for a few more seconds, just to be sure, then turned her attention back to the other students. The moment she looked away, the two of them collapsed onto the table, shaking with silent laughter.

— How? How is that even possible? — Suguru was referring to the way the sculptures had fallen.

— I don’t know... — Satoru was still laughing. — I didn’t even know cats liked blowjobs.

That comment made Suguru want to scream. His body trembled as he tried to stop himself from bursting out laughing. Seeing him like this made Satoru feel exactly the same way.

It wasn’t even that funny if they thought about it. But, as the idiotic teenagers they were, the fact that they needed to stay silent made it impossible to control themselves.

— W-Why is its dick so big? — Tears were starting to form in Suguru’s eyes.

The two raised their heads at the same time, only to look at that absurd scene again. But this time, they couldn’t hold it in.

They let out loud laughs, quickly covering their mouths with their hands. The teacher turned to them once again.

— Satoru, Suguru, come on... You’re not in school anymore. If you want to chat feel free to leave the room; you’re disrupting your classmates.

The boys tried to calm down, taking deep breaths.

— Sorry again, miss — Geto cleared his throat, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears.

He abruptly picked up the sculptures since Satoru was still laughing with his face buried in his arms. Suguru moved that damn cat and rabbit out of their highly inappropriate position and made a point of placing the heart/penis as far away as possible.

She gave the boys one more disapproving glare before turning her attention to a student seated at the front of the room.

— For God’s sake, stop laughing! — Suguru hissed at Gojo, who was still hiding his mouth behind his hands.

— I can’t!

They exchanged a quick glance, only to turn their heads away immediately, struggling against another wave of laughter.

It made no sense. It wasn’t even funny anymore. But they just couldn’t stop. Every time they looked at each other it felt like a trigger. The harder Suguru tried to hold it together, the more amused Satoru became.

— I hate you — Geto sighed, trying to pull himself together.

— But you love my sculptures, don’t you? — Satoru nudged him with his elbow. — Come on, admit it.

Suguru sniffled and adjusted his seat.

— I like the cat.

— He likes you too.

— Great. I just hope he doesn’t fall in love with another rabbit.

Satoru couldn’t hold back his laughter this time, but luckily, it wasn’t loud enough for the teacher to hear.

— Don’t worry, he’s not sharing his heart with anyone else.

— Shut up — Geto chuckled faintly. — My God, my stomach was starting to hurt.

Suguru began gathering the clay scattered across the table; after all, he still wanted to make that damn mug. Meanwhile, Satoru couldn’t stop smiling. Not because he found it funny anymore, but because he had been the reason Suguru laughed so hard he teared up. And that made him feel good. Really good.

Suguru was already shaping his mug when Gojo finally decided to do something with the last 30 minutes of class. He grabbed a lump of clay, studied it for a moment, and then spoke.

— Should I try making a dick? Maybe, if I use reverse psychology, it’ll end up looking like a heart.

Suguru looked at him incredulous, but it was kinda funny.

— Do whatever you want, just don’t drag me into it. I don’t want any more trouble with the teacher.

(...)

 

— The balls are way too small, Satoru.

The ceramics class was finally over, and Suguru had managed —at long last— to finish shaping his mug. As for Gojo, he regretted decidind to make a penis, it was way more work than he had anticipated.

— Damn, you think they’re small? What kind of balls have you been looking at?

— Give me that — Suguru snatched the penis from Satoru’s hands. — It’s completely disproportionate.

Suguru added more clay to the testicles and wet his hands to shape them.

— Careful with the head. The detail on the little slit turned out perfect. Don’t ruin it. It took a lot of effort.

— I know what I’m doing, — Suguru replied, slightly annoyed.

Surprisingly enough, Suguru wasn’t bad with clay. He had picked it up quickly, and his mug had turned out pretty nice for someone trying it for the first time.

And, of course, so had the penis.

— I thought I said we were making mugs today, — the teacher suddenly appeared, her expression far from pleased.

The two boys looked at her for a split second before turning their attention back to the sculpture.

— Art is a way of expressing our feelings, ma’am — Satoru replied. — We’re free to create whatever we want here, aren’t we?

— And what, exactly, are your feelings about this penis, Gojo?

Suguru kept shaping the balls.

— This sculpture... — Satoru snatched it from Geto’s hands. — Represents... The virility of man. You know? Because we’re men... And... Virile.

Her expression was flat, filled with disinterest.

Satoru shot Suguru a look, urging him to add more.

— Oh, yes...! — Suguru straightened his posture. — Virility. A whole lot of virility.

— You two probably don’t even know what that word means — she rolled her eyes. — Look, do whatever you want, just make sure to clean up afterward.

Satoru grinned proudly, placing the dick on the table.

— If this was graded we’d get a perfect 10.

— Yeah, it’s not bad, — Suguru agreed, staring at the penis. — I think we did a great job.

The two high-fived in celebration.

It had been a really long since Geto felt like just a regular teenager, but in that ceramics class, he did.

And it was kinda awesome.

 

Notes:

Guys, I'm going to start this note by apologizing for the delay (╥_╥)
The end of the semester is killing me and it was really hard to find time to write this chapter.
At first, it was supposed to be much longer, but I thought it was better to postpone some things to the next one to avoid making it feel out of place and forced.
I hope this chapter felt like a refreshing breeze on a hot day!
What did you think of the sculptures? Creative, right?
Kisses and see you next week!
(Ф ﻌ Ф) ₍ᐢ. ༝ .ᐢ₎ -`ღ´-

Chapter 9: Collarbone

Content Warning (CW):
This chapter contains mention of drug use. If this topic is uncomfortable for you, please consider skipping or proceeding with caution.

 

 

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

 

 

Suguru was on the court playing basketball alone once again that week. Ever since losing that bet with Satoru he had been determined to train more frequently and improve his physical condition to beat him the next time they decided to compete. It was a promise he had made to himself.  

Summer was nearly over, but it was still hot. His forehead was dripping with sweat and his body was begging for a cold shower. He got up from the ground panting after pushing himself for so long, walked off the court and let the light breeze cool his body for a moment, stretching his arms as he yawned.  

— You did WHAT?! — A girl’s voice rang out.  

Wait... A girl?  

— Shh! Keep it down!  

And then... Satoru’s voice?  

Suguru furrowed his brows and looked around. There was no one there.  

But he kept hearing low murmurs he couldn’t quite make out. Intrigued, he began following the voices, circling behind the court and along the side of the garden.  

— ...And I think that’s enough. At least for now.  

Yep. That was definitely Satoru’s voice.  

— Hm... Surprisingly, I think you’re on the right track.  

This made no sense, girls weren’t allowed at the Institute, and yet, here he was, clearly hearing one. Could it be the exhaustion from basketball playing tricks on his mind? No, he knew what he had heard. His curiosity overpowered any hesitation and his feet kept moving before he could even think about it.  

Suguru didn’t care that he was essentially eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation. The fact that Satoru was involved was enough to make him set aside his rationality. He rounded the large tree in the garden and made his way to the back of the main building of the Institute, finding Satoru sitting on the grass with his back against a wall.  

— I think I’ve never felt- Suguru!  

Satoru cut himself off mid-sentence when he spotted him, but the way he did it sounded more like a warning to the other person than a greeting.  

Where the hell was that other voice coming from?  

— What are you doing here? — Geto couldn’t hide his curiosity. — Who are you talking to?  

— Me — The voice replied, as though coming from thin air.  

Suguru looked at Satoru with his brows still furrowed. The white-haired boy shifted a little, revealing that some bricks in the wall were broken, forming a small passage.  

It wasn’t large enough for someone to pass through, but it was just the right size to see the face of the girl on the other side.  

— Oh, hello. — He said somewhat shyly.  

— Yaho — She replied.  

— Are you just gonna stand there? Sit down and chat with us, dummy. — Satoru patted the ground twice.  

For some reason, Suguru obeyed.  

Finally, he could see her properly, a pretty girl with short brown hair and a lollipop in her mouth.  

— My name’s Shoko Ieiri. — She extended her arm through the hole, and they shook hands.  

He then remembered that besides the boys’ campus the Institute also had a girls’ campus. The place was so large that he had completely forgotten about it, especially since they technically weren’t allowed to talk and were separated by a huge wall.  

— I’m Suguru Geto.  

— Oh, I know. — She smiled, pulling her arm back. — Satoru hasn’t stopped talking about you si-

The girl was cut off when Gojo shoved another lollipop into her mouth. 

— Oh, look at that! Didn’t you ask me for a lollipop? I just found one in my pocket!

— Satoru! — She snapped as she grabbed the candy. — I already got one from Utahime!

— And now you have two! Lucky you! — He grinned widely.

She stuck her hand through the hole again, reaching for the boy’s ear and tugging it hard.

— Ow. Ow. Ow. 

— Apologize.

— I did you a favor!

— That doesn’t sound like an apology to me.

Normally, Suguru would have found a scene like that amusing. Watching Gojo being scolded by someone was rare and satisfying. But as Shoko laughed and pulled Satoru’s ear something about the lightheartedness of their interaction struck him oddly. It was like watching an intimate space he didn’t belong to.

For some reason, it made him feel... Uncomfortable?

Maybe that’s not the right word.

— Are you two... together? — He asked without thinking, and they both looked at him immediately — Are you dating?

Their expressions were pure shock, as if the very idea was the most absurd thing in the world.

— WHAT?! — They practically yelled in unison.

Shoko and Satoru exchanged glances, her hand still tugging at his ear.

And then they burst into laughter.

— Dating? Her? — Satoru sounded offended, but couldn’t stop laughing.

Suguru didn’t understand what was so funny.

— Not even if he were the last man on Earth — She replied seriously.

Gojo stopped laughing immediately.

— Hey. No need for all that.

— I’d rather die than have this guy as my boyfriend.

— What the fuck

— Seriously — She insisted, looking at Suguru. — Never.

— Okay, I think he got the message. — Satoru crossed his arms, pouting.

Suguru let out a soft chuckle. He hadn’t expected her to deny it so strongly. His body felt lighter now that he had his answer.

— I don’t blame you, Shoko. He’s really unbearable.

— Isn’t he? — She agreed enthusiastically.

— Hah?! — Satoru exclaimed, clearly annoyed. — Hey! I’d make an amazing boyfriend, okay? I’m a catch.

— I feel sorry you have to deal with him every day, Geto. — Shoko ignored him. — At least when I want to escape, I just stay far away from the wall.

— You’re so lucky, Ieiri... — He played along. — Seriously, it’s torture. You have no idea what I have to put up with every day. — He placed a hand on his forehead, feigning dramatic despair.

— Poor thing...

Satoru gave a dry laugh, unimpressed by their cheap performance.

“So, he does know how to crack jokes when he wants to?”

Without a second thought he grabbed Suguru by the waist and pulled him close, toppling them over.

— Say that again! — He pinned Suguru’s legs with his and began tickling his stomach.

— Satoru! Stop! — It was hard to speak through his laughter.

Geto desperately tried to grab Satoru’s hands, but he was quick enough to wriggle free with ease.

— Say I’m unbearable again!

— But you are! — He couldn’t stop laughing. — You motherf- Stop!

— Wow. You two do seem pretty close. Are you guys dating by any chance? — Shoko teased.

The boys froze instantly, as if caught in the act of committing a crime.

They looked at each other for a moment in a pause that wasn’t entirely silent, thanks to the cicadas buzzing in the background. It didn’t take long for their cheeks to flush red, betraying their mutual embarrassment.

For a few seconds, they had completely forgotten the girl was there.

Satoru got off Suguru with lightning speed. He raised a fist to his mouth and cleared his throat while Suguru sat back up and fixed his hair, now sprinkled with blades of grass from their stupid little scuffle.

“Idiots,” Shoko muttered, shaking her head with a smile.

— Satoru, do you have any more lollipops? — She asked, trying to break the awkward silence that had settled.

— More? — He exclaimed, straightening his clothes. — Girl, I gave you all I had.

She huffed.

— Ugh, fine.

— What’s with the lollipops? — Suguru asked as he finished tying his hair. — You really like them

— They replace cigarettes. — She kept the stick in her mouth, biting on it. — Do you smoke?

Satoru seemed to pay more attention at that question.

— Depends.

Shoko raised an eyebrow.

— Tell me more

— I used to smoke cigarettes in high school, but the aftertaste bothered me. — Suguru leaned back against the wall, a glimpse of his past flashing through his mind. — Plus, nicotine wasn’t that enjoyable. So, I started smoking weed with some neighbors. Getting high was more interesting, and the effect lasted longer. But it’s been a while since the last time.

As he spoke, Suguru realized how distant that time felt. It wasn’t just the taste of cigarettes or the effects of weed that had lost their appeal. It was everything. That weight returned, a silent reminder of why he was there.

— Oh... — She seemed surprised. — Sometimes you need one of those to cope with reality.

Suguru smiled faintly, though there was a hint of sadness in it.

— Yeah... And you?

His eyes met Satoru’s.

— Me? — He pointed to himself.

— Yeah. Have you ever smoked before?

— No. Though I’ve heard that weed can help with epilepsy. But I doubt my parents or Dr. Masamichi would let me try a joint to find out. — He chuckled.

— Can you imagine if they gave out joints as treatment here at the Institute? — Suguru asked.

— That would be amazing. — Shoko sighed wistfully. — I miss my cigarettes...

— You’re making me want to smoke too. — Satoru commented.

— No! — She snapped. — Don’t you dare put one in your mouth, Satoru. Because it’ll start like this: you’ll get hooked, forget a pack hidden in your panty drawer (which we all know you have), and then your mom will send you to rehab. Is that the future you want? No, right? — She clicked her tongue, rolling the stick between her teeth.

— First of all, panty drawer? I’m discreet. Second... I’m already in rehab, Shoko.

They stared at each other.

— Oh... Right.

The three of them burst into laughter.

Some time passed, Suguru and Shoko began chatting about how much they missed smoking. For a moment, Satoru just watched the boy in front of him.

He didn’t understand any of that conversation. He’d grown up sheltered from the “outside world,” so he had no clue why smoking could be so appealing, even though both of them advised against it.

But they didn’t need to worry, Satoru had no interest in becoming a smoker. Instead, he was too busy focusing on every little detail of Suguru’s calm expression as he talked to Shoko.

What had his life been like before he was admitted here? What did he enjoy doing? Where did he go? Who did he hang out with? How did an 18-year-old even get weed? Was Suguru a delinquent? Was he popular with girls? Of course he was, he’s ridiculously handsome.

Not knowing the answers to any of those questions irritated Satoru. He wanted to know more about Suguru, he wanted to know everything about him. Watching him smile like that at someone else didn’t help the strange, unpleasant feeling stirring in his chest.

He buried his face between his knees, trying to ignore that irritating discomfort.

— SHOKO!!  

The three of them heard a fourth voice, but the boys couldn’t see who it belonged to since it came from the other side and seemed far away.  

— Coming! — She replied — I need to go, the girls are organizing a sleepover and I was tasked with baking cookies with Utahime.  

She stood up, patting her skirt a few times to remove some grass leaves stuck to it.  

— Who’s Utahime? — Suguru asked.  

— An insufferable person — Gojo rolled his eyes.  

— My best friend — Shoko laughed — See you later, nice to meet you, Suguru.  

— Bye bye — He smiled politely.  

Satoru observed him with a pout. Since when had the same person who usually wore a scowl become miss simpathy?  

He didn’t act like that at all when they first met.  

Suguru was about to stand up to leave when Gojo pulled the elastic band from his hair.  

— Hey!  

— I told you, you look better with your hair down — Satoru was joking, but his face was serious.  

Suguru found it odd.  

— But I’m hot — He tried to grab the elastic band, Gojo dodged — Satoru, give it back.  

— Come and get it — He stretched his arm further away.  

Suguru grumbled, trying to reach for it again while Satoru kept the elastic band out of reach. It was funny seeing him lose his patience. But then, Suguru climbed higher, and Satoru ended up lying almost entirely beneath him.  

From that position, he could see Suguru in a completely different light. His loose hair, his irritated violet eyes, his flexed arm reaching for the elastic band. Satoru held his breath for a moment as if he wanted to freeze that moment forever.  

Geto didn’t notice the piercing gaze on him and kept reaching higher trying to grab that damn elastic band, but he stopped moving when he felt a hand firmly gripping his waist.  

Only then did he realize how they were positioned. Gojo, almost lying on the ground, kept his arm stretched above his head, keeping the object away from Geto. Satoru’s left leg was trapped between Suguru’s legs, who was practically on all fours above him.  

Not to mention their faces, which were ridiculously close, too close.  

— You were smiling a lot — Gojo commented without thinking, his fingers sliding over Suguru’s waist, tracing its curve.  

“It’s so small...”  

— What are you talking about? — Geto was starting to get irritated.  

He couldn’t think straight while feeling the heat of Satoru’s hand. He felt uncomfortable but mostly intrigued by how the boy was acting.  

Satoru didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on Suguru’s as a strand of hair slipped down the side of his face.  

“Why do you have to be so beautiful?”  

When Suguru realized how strange the situation was, he pushed Satoru to lie entirely on the ground and stretched just enough to finally snatch the elastic band from his hand.  

And when he did, Satoru leaned his face toward Suguru without thinking. His nose lightly brushing against the exposed skin of his collarbone, which carried a warm, woody scent, almost intoxicating.  

Suguru felt the touch as light as a breeze, and his entire body shivered. He didn’t know what was stranger, the unexpected gesture or the fact that he hadn’t immediately pulled away.  

— What are you doing?! — Suguru pushed him again, snapping back to reality. Within seconds he was already standing.  

— You smell nice — Satoru said casually, placing his arms behind his head.  

Suguru’s cheeks burned as he put his hand over the spot where Gojo had sniffed him. He hated himself for blushing at a moment like this.  

— Don’t do that!  

— Why not? Did it give you goosebumps?  

He finally smiled—that pretentious and annoying smile of his—revealing it was all just some silly provocation.  

— You’re fucking annoying.  

— And you’re irresistible

Suguru huffed, finishing tying his hair and walking away.  

— Where are you going? — Satoru shouted before he disappeared.  

— None of your business!  

When Suguru was no longer in sight, Satoru let his smile fade, recalling how he felt seeing the boy smile so affectionately at Shoko.  

He couldn’t help but feel annoyed by that, but when he saw Geto’s skin shiver at his touch, even so faint, he felt good again.  

Satoru closed his eyes and sighed, recalling the flushed face and irritated eyes. He knew he was crossing a line, but he couldn’t help himself. It was like a game he didn’t want to lose, even if the rules were still unclear. The thought of anyone else touching or provoking Suguru that way bothered him more than he wanted to admit.  

But if he were the only one allowed to do so, maybe it would be okay.  

 

(...)  

 

— Even though he had started taking late night showers as Satoru had advised, Suguru couldn’t wait to wash off after sweating so much during basketball and practically rolling in the grass because of those stupid games.  

He took a thorough shower, replaying everything that had just happened in the garden in his mind. More specifically, the last part.  

The spot where Satoru had leaned in and sniffed still felt warm, his body insistent on recalling the sensation of Satoru’s breath brushing against his skin over and over again. It left him feeling extremely irritated.  

As usual, Suguru planned to stay in his room for the rest of the afternoon, but the idea of being stuck with his own thoughts and those strange sensations changed his mind. So he decided to head to the TV room, maybe a movie would keep him distracted for a while.  

But, of course, he ran into Satoru along the way.  

— Oh, great! I was looking for you. — Satoru grinned. — Dry my hair.  

Gojo leaned forward and started rubbing his head against Suguru’s shirt like a cat.  

— The fuck are you doing? — Suguru frowned, his voice laden with irritation though he didn’t move to push him away.  

— You abandoned me in the garden, and the sprinklers came on. — Satoru kept rubbing his hair. — So now, take responsibility for your actions.  

Suguru huffed and grabbed his shoulders.  

— You decided to stay there, and now it’s my fault? — He pushed Satoru back but Gojo clung to his shirt harder. — Hey, stop it! I just took a shower and your hair’s full of grass!  

— Oh, much better! — Satoru smiled when he saw that Suguru’s shirt was now covered in little leaves.  

Geto maintained his scowl.  

— What are you going to do now?  

— TV room. — That was all he said as he walked into the room, brushing off his shirt.  

— Let’s watch a movie?  

Suguru chuckled as he sat on the couch.  

— The last time we tried to watch a movie, it didn’t end really well.  

Satoru sat next to him, chuckling softly.  

— Fair point. Hmm... Want to play some video games, then?  

— There’s a console here?  

— Of course, but not many people know about it. — Satoru flashed that mischievous smile only he could pull off. — What kind of games do you like?  

Suguru shrugged indifferently.  

— Whatever. You pick.  

— Whatever? — Gojo raised an eyebrow, feigning dramatic offense. — That’s not an answer, Geto. I should make you play a terrible game just to teach you never to be so indifferent.  

— If the game’s bad, that’s on you for choosing poorly.  

— Or maybe you’re just terrible at having fun.  

— At least I don’t go around rubbing my head on other people’s shirts to dry off.  

Gojo grinned at him.  

— It’s fun. You should try it sometime. — He got up and went to the cabinet to pick a game.  

The room fell silent, and Suguru found himself lost in thought as he watched the boy in front of him.  

That interaction in the garden had been so strange, and yet there he was, acting like nothing had happened.  

Suguru should’ve been used to Satoru’s unpredictable personality by now. No matter how much closer they’d gotten, he never really knew what was going through his head.  

And yet, he still felt an urge to figure him out.  

“You were smiling a lot.”  

What had he meant by that?  

Of course he was smiling, he was trying to be polite to Shoko.  

Maybe getting more involved in the conversation and getting closer to her would help him understand Satoru better.  

After all, how long had they been friends? How much did she know about him? She clearly knew about his epilepsy since she didn’t seem surprised when they were talking about weed and Satoru had mentioned his condition.  

And as selfish as it seemed, Suguru felt a bit disappointed that he wasn’t the only one who knew about it anymore.  

All of this bubbled inside his head, and as if that weren’t enough, even under his clean shirt he could feel the weight of Satoru’s hand, the firm grip on his waist. The sensation wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. It was worse, it was unsettling.  

Just thinking about it made his skin prickle again.  

But despite not knowing Gojo as well as he wanted, Suguru was certain it was nothing more than a silly provocation, a ridiculous joke to see him annoyed once again.  

— Idiot. — He muttered without realizing it.  

— Were you talking to me?  

— Hm?  

— You just said something.  

— No, I didn’t.  

Satoru narrowed his eyes suspiciously.  

— Hm... Okay, so what do you want to play? Tony Hawk or Guitar Hero?  

— Guitar Hero, obviously.  

— Guitar Hero it is.  

Yes, that had to be it. He needed to believe that was all there was to it. Because the alternative, the idea that there might be something more behind that closeness, something he might be starting to want, was simply inconceivable.  

Notes:

Hi, my dears!
Starting this note with an apology for the delay (again...)
I also wanted to let you know that I won't be able to post an update next week. I know, I know... No need to cry.
Jokes aside, I'll be traveling with some friends, and I think it would be rude to spend so much time on the computer (even though it’s what I love doing the most).
What did you think of the chapter? Are you enjoying it? Personally, I hate these two, ugh.
Kisses, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to everyone ＼\ ٩( ᐛ )و /／ See you next year!

Chapter 10: Portal of Friendship

 

— I want a lollipop too.

— Too bad. These are for Shoko.

Satoru crossed his arms, a typical stubborn pout forming on his lips as he watched Suguru hand the candies to their friend.

Since they had met, Shoko and Suguru had become good friends given the number of things the two teenagers had in common. Because of that, the duo had now turned into a trio. Suguru found it hard to admit but he enjoyed spending his free time having silly conversations with the two of them. It was fun.

However, while Geto felt happy about forming a new friendship, Gojo wasn’t sure how to feel about this sudden closeness.

— You’re the best. — Shoko smiled, putting one in her mouth.

— I’ve known you for months and you’ve never given me a single candy. You met her last week and she’s already getting a bunch of lollipops? That’s not fair.

— Jealous, Satoru? — The girl teased, earning a middle finger in response.

She knew he was.

— You’re acting like a spoiled kid. — Suguru sighed, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket.

Satoru’s eyes lit up as he watched the candy, clearly hopeful that Geto would give it to him.

But instead, Suguru put the candy in his own mouth, smiling calmly, though with an unspoken provocation that Satoru immediately caught.

He was in shock, incredulous at the audacity of the boy in front of him.

— Give me that! — Satoru lunged toward him, trying to take it for himself.

— Wha- Fuck off! You’re going to take the lollipop from my mouth?!

Shoko calmly observed the scene while sucking on her favorite flavor: strawberry. It was ridiculous how often these two used these “arguments” as an excuse to get all over each other.

She laughed when she saw Satoru back off triumphantly with the stick between his teeth.

— Satoru, that’s gross. — Geto muttered irritably. — That lollipop was in my mouth.

— So what? You brush your teeth, don’t you?

— Of course I do!

— Then why are you whining?

— You STOLE my lollipop!

Satoru’s smile was as smug as ever.

— Didn’t your mom teach you to share? Who’s acting like a spoiled kid now, huh? — He poked Suguru’s cheek with his finger. — Huhhh? — And kept poking.

— You. — Geto slapped Gojo’s hand away. — Brat.

— I’m older than you.

— Really? — Suguru exaggerated a surprised expression. — Doesn’t seem like it.

— Shoko. — Satoru turned to her. — What do you think about this? Isn’t it cruel of him to bring all these candies and not give me even one? Not even a crumb?

The girl shrugged.

— As long as you guys keep bringing me lollipops... I cound't care less — The stick slid between her teeth. — Besides, watching you two fight is way more fun than the movies we watch in the TV room.

— Glad my suffering entertains you, Shoko. — Suguru sighed as he pulled out another candy from his pocket.

Satoru let his smile fade.

— You had ANOTHER one this whole time, and you didn’t want to give it to me?! — The boy was in disbelief.

— I WAS going to give it to you. — Suguru unwrapped the plastic. — But you couldn’t wait TWO minutes before snatching the one from my mouth, could you?

— Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!

— You didn’t give me time! You fuc-

— Oh look, we’ve got company. — Shoko interrupted him.

— Company? — Satoru and Suguru exchanged confused looks before turning toward where Shoko was looking.

— Hey, guys! — Haibara said cheerfully. — Wow, everyone’s here! Thats nice, I wanted to introduce someone to y'all anyway.

Yu Haibara was the boy from room 010. Suguru didn’t know much about him, except that he had been admitted for bipolar disorder and that his personality was completely different from his own: lively and extroverted. Satoru had also spoken to him a few (many) times. Haibara was the kind of guy who could befriend even the wind, it was very likely that he knew everyone in the Institute.  

But none of the three recognized the boy standin next to him.  

— This is Nanami Kento — Haibara continued. — We went to high school together and today he got admitted here! IHow crazy is that?  

— Nice to meet you — the blond boy said, surprisingly formal as he bowed.  

Satoru and Suguru exchanged glances as if they could communicate through looks alone.  

Shoko on the other hand, rolled her eyes before bowing slightly, even though Nanami couldn’t see her very well because of the wall. When they realized, the two boys clumsily copied her, offering an awkward bow.  

— Are you always this formal? — she asked, squinting slightly as if assessing him.  

Nanami straightened his posture.  

— You could say so.  

— Are you emo? — Gojo shifted the lollipop from one cheek to the other. — That fringe of yours is kinda…  

— Satoru, shut up — Suguru sighed impatiently. — Sit here with us. We were just talking.  

— Yay! — Haibara practically dragged Nanami to sit with him on the grass.  

The blond didn’t seem bothered by his enthusiasm. In fact, he seemed used to it.  

Maybe they were close.  

— So… How long have you known Shoko? — Gojo let his curiosity lead him as always. — I thought no one else besides us knew about this place.  

— Hm… Not sure how long we’ve been talking — Haibara glanced at the girl. — Since last month, maybe? — Shoko shrugged popping another piece of candy into her mouth — I don’t know, but I always bring her lollipops.  

Satoru and Suguru stared at her, surprised.  

— Do you have a lollipop mafia or something? — Geto asked.  

— In this place, you’re all my bitches and I’m the lollipop pimp.  

— Wow. What a mercenary — Satoru said. — I liked that.  

They high-fived.  

— Oh sorry, we didn’t even introduce ourselves properly. I’m Geto Suguru, this is Gojo Satoru, and the lollipop pimp here is Ieri Shoko.  

The other two waved. Nanami nodded in response.  

— Why are you all talking here? — he asked. — Isn’t it a bit uncomfortable?  

— Not as comfy as a couch, but we can’t talk to Shoko anywhere else. So, we make this sacrifice for her because we’re amazing friends — Satoru said with a smug smile.  

— Shut up — Shoko flicked Gojo’s forehead, who rubbed the sore spot. — But yeah. Unfortunately, the barriers here keep boys and girls apart. Luckily, we have this wonderful portal that connects the girls’ side to the boys’.  

— Hm… And what happens if someone finds out? — Nanami pressed.  

This time, the four exchanged looks.  

— No idea — they said in unison.  

— They’d probably seal the hole — Suguru speculated, stroking his chin.  

— Oh no… They’d destroy the portal of friendship… — Satoru said in an overly dramatic tone, making Shoko laugh.  

Suguru also wanted to laugh at the ridiculous term. He opened his mouth ready to mock Gojo, but Haibara’s overwhelming enthusiasm cut him off.  

— PORTAL OF FRIENDSHIP! — Haibara practically shouted, his eyes shining as if he’d just discovered the meaning of life. — THAT’S IT. That’s the name for this place now!  

— Hey, I was just kidding — Satoru said, chuckling a bit.  

— But that name is literally perfect… — Haibara’s energy deflated in seconds, his voice as deflated as a leaking balloon.  

— Isn’t it a bit… My Little Pony-ish? — Suguru asked cautiously, fearing he might hurt the boy’s feelings.  

Haibara leaned back on his hands.  

— Do you have a better suggestion?  

The two boys thought for a few seconds.  

— Shoko’s Hole — Satoru finally said.  

Suguru choked so hard he had to support himself on his knees, laughing.  

— What? — He could barely get the word out.  

— No, — Shoko replied instantly, her glare deadly. — Go to hell, Satoru.  

He stuck his tongue out at her.  

— I like Portal of Friendship, — Nanami finally spoke up. — It’s cute.  

Haibara beamed triumphantly, pointing at Nanami as if he were a judge confirming the verdict.  

— Then it’s settled. Portal of Friendship!

Making a friend group at a rehabilitation center was something Suguru would have doubted would happen during his time there, but the conversation between them flowed so naturally that he allowed himself, for the first time in a long while, to not overthink it and just enjoy the moment.

Even though deep down in his chest there was still a trace of guilt. As if he didn’t deserve to experience moments like this. It was because of this that the idea of connecting with someone felt too heavy, almost exhausting. But there, surrounded by laughter and bad jokes, Suguru felt something different, a lightness he didn’t recognize.

He tried to focus only on that good feeling. Just a little. Just a bit.

They eventually found out that Nanami had been admitted for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that had escalated enough for him to have frequent anxiety attacks. This was a subject everyone was avoiding asking about, but the boy didn’t seem to mind talking about it, and he didn’t care to know why the others were there, even though Suguru suspected he already knew the reason for Haibara’s admission.

Shoko didn’t mind explaining about the lollipops either. Of the trio, Geto was the only one who didn’t know that the girl, besides being addicted to nicotine, also took prescription medication secretly from her parents. That, in fact, was the main reason for her hospitalization.

She mentioned it casually, as if it were any other story, but the way her fingers fidgeted with the candy, restless, didn’t go unnoticed by Suguru or Satoru.

To keep the mood from getting heavy, Shoko quickly changed the subject and mentioned the sleepover the girls did, which made Haibara extremely excited, even euphoric.

— YOU GUYS HAD A SLEEPOVER?! — You could see the spark in his eyes.

— Yeah, we baked some cookies and made popcorn, set up mattresses in the TV room, and watched Twilight together. The movie was kinda weird, but it was fun. — Her voice was calm.

A small smile formed on her lips as she remembered that night.

— What if we have a sleepover too? — He turned to the other boys. — We could talk to Masamichi, right? Do you think he would let us?

— Why not? — Nanami shrugged. — I don’t know him very well, but if they let it happen on the girls' side, there’s no reason to stop us.

He wasn’t too excited about the idea, but knowing that a sleepover made Haibara so enthusiastic was enough to convince him to join in.

— It’s a great idea! — Satoru gave a thumbs-up. — Getting out of this boring routine at least once would be nice.

The four of them noticed that the only person who hadn’t spoken about the idea was distracted with a little flower in his hands.

Suguru could feel those pairs of eyes staring at him.

— Why are you looking at me like that...? — He furrowed his brows.

— Didn’t you like the idea? — Haibara tried to sound normal, but the puppy-dog expression on his face made it clear how much Geto’s opinion meant to him.

— Do you hate us? — Satoru leaned forward, joining in the drama, both with the same expression.

Suguru wanted to laugh.

— Of course I liked it — he said, with a smile that made Haibara visibly more excited. — Let’s do it. Let's have a sleepover.

He wouldn’t lie, that suggestion didn’t excite him as much as the others, but Satoru had a point: it would be nice to break the boring routine of the institute. Besides, he had nothing to lose.

What harm would it do to watch some bad movies and eat popcorn until late?

 

 

(...)

 

 

The group spent the rest of the afternoon talking about what they could do for their movie night, whether they would invite more people, what movies they would watch and what they would eat. Shoko even shared the cookie recipe she had made with Utahime. Haibara was determined to try cooking by himself for the first time, and Nanami was clever enough to offer himself as a helper, since deep down he feared his friend might set the whole kitchen on fire (and maybe the entire Institute).

Shortly after 4:00 p.m. Shoko was called by Utahime and had to leave. The boys also decided it was time to go back before any security guard or nurse saw them.

The rest of the day passed quickly. It was already late at night when Suguru was in his room, reflecting on the conversation he’d had with everyone.

It had been a good, calm, and fun day. He wasn’t even annoyed by Satoru's cheeky jokes, which made him think that maybe he was getting used to them, but that was just a guess.

What surprised him more, however, was the fact that it had been a while since he last thought about suicide. And he was only realizing that now.

Suguru felt light after an unexpectedly amusing day. So light that for a few moments, he almost believed it was possible, just for a few seconds, not to carry the weight that had been oppressing him for years. Maybe it was an exaggeration, but the simple act of grabbing his hygiene items and deciding to take a shower earlier felt like a small triumph, something normal, everyday, that he had forgotten what it felt like, since normally Suguru only went late at night due to his insomnia and lack of motivation.

As he walked down the hallway he hummed softly, a forgotten habit returning thanks to the good mood.

He turned the doorknob.

Opened the door calmly.

And froze.

Right there, just a few meters away, was Gojo Satoru. Completely naked.

Suguru cound't move, his mind short-circuiting as it processed the scene. Something inside him screamed: don’t look, close the door, GET OUT OF HERE.

FOR GOD’S SAKE, GET OUT OF HERE.

But that’s not what happened.

Instead, his eyes moved as if drawn by a magnet, scanning Satoru’s surprisingly well-defined body. The loose, comfortable clothes he wore every day had hidden more than Suguru could have imagined. Water droplets from the shower still dripped down his pale skin. His wet white hair was messy and fell over his forehead in a way Suguru wasn’t used to seeing.

He didn’t even realize how his breath faltered in that moment.

And, as if that wasn’t awkward enough, Gojo flashed a carefree smile.

— Hey, Sug—

The door was slammed shut, and Suguru ran out of there. His face burned as if he had spent the entire day at the beach and forgotten sunscreen.

When he got to his room, his heart was racing so fast he could feel it pounding against his chest. He leaned his back against the door behind him, sliding down until he sat on the floor.

It all happened so fast, in a fraction of a second. Even so, Geto managed to register almost every detail of Satoru’s body, as if a part of his subconscious had been longing, waiting for that moment for a long time.

The lightly defined muscles, the water running down them, his bare back, his legs, his arms, Satoru’s hair, that damn snow-white hair.

WHAT THE FUCK

Suguru was blushing, flustered, and even a bit angry.

Who does that?! Who changes in front of the bathroom door without any fear of being caught?! And why did he react so calmly when he saw Suguru standing there?! Was he some kind of exhibitionist or something? Was that intentional?

Each question that Suguru’s turbulent mind asked made him more nervous, but the main one was:

— Why am I hard?!

Since entering the institute, the boy had started taking fairly strong antidepressants. His libido had been so low that he hadn’t even masturbated once since being admitted, despite being a teenager full of hormones. And it had been almost three months since he had been there.

So why, of all things that could happen, DID THIS trigger an erection after such a long time?!

Suguru looked down and whimpered when he saw it there, a shameful reminder of why he had gotten turned on.

— Why are you doing this to me? — Geto asked as if his dick would answer.

It was official. He was losing his mind (and control over his own body).

His brain could deny it as much as it wanted, but the truth was right under his eyes.

Geto Suguru was hard because of Gojo Satoru.

 

 

 

Notes:

My god when are these two finally going to get together? I can’t take it anymore.

Hello, my dears! I’m finally back ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
How was the end of the year? I hope you all had lots of delicious food!
This chapter was quite a challenge because of the dialogues, but I worked really hard on it and I hope you enjoy it. I can’t wait to share what’s coming next… If I weren’t in college, I’d post two chapters a week. Someone please hand me my diploma immediately.
Let me know what you thought in the comments! What was your favorite part? Like Satoru, I’m really curious.
Here’s to a 2025 full of satosugu for us all!
Hugs and see you next week! ( ˘ ³˘)❤

Chapter 11: Sleepover!!

Gojo Satoru was absolutely pissed.

The reason? Five whole days had passed since the afternoon they had met at the "portal of friendship" and Suguru Geto had been completely avoiding him ever since.

And what bothered him the most was that he had no idea why.

Satoru thought they were past that phase. The whole “Suguru hates Satoru” thing didn’t fit their dynamic anymore. They spent practically the entire day together for god’s sake.

They were friends, weren’t they? There was no way this was all just a delusion in his head. Was he getting too emotional? Was he seeing things that weren’t there?

Satoru had never opened up to anyone the way he had to Suguru after that epilepsy attack. He trusted that guy, maybe more than anyone else.

So why the hell was he acting like such a fucking jerk?

— See? There he goes again. — Satoru said as soon as he saw Geto walk past the cafeteria. The moment their eyes met, Suguru turned on his heel and left immediately. — He’s clearly avoiding me.

Nanami glanced at the boy beside him out of the corner of his eye while sipping from a can of coffee.

— And why are you telling me this?

— Because I can’t talk to Shoko (obvious reasons), Haibara disappeared and I obviously can’t talk to Suguru about himself! — Satoru sighed exasperatedly, his arms draped over the back of the chair, legs sprawled wide and his head hanging back. — I just don’t know what to do, okay? Be my sounding board, just this once. If I don’t vent I think I might explode.

Nanami observed him. Satoru’s eyes were closed and his brows furrowed, probably from frustration. He didn’t understand how Gojo could share his problems so easily with someone he barely knew. Maybe he was really upset about the situation to not care.

— Have you tried talking to him? — The blond asked, looking ahead again.

— What do you think? — Satoru turned his head toward him. — He doesn’t even give me a chance to say hi in the hallway, won’t play basketball anymore, stopped eating lunch and dinner with me... He doesn’t even show up to the damn ceramics class. — The boy rubbed his face harshly. — Fuck! What did I do?

Satoru was completely slumped on the bench, as if the feeling had drained all his energy. He didn’t even know why he had decided to talk to Nanami about it. The guy was so straight-laced he’d probably say something obvious like “Give Suguru space,” “Wait for him to come to you,” “Don’t pressure him too much.”

— You should corner him — Nanami said after a moment.

Satoru’s eyes snapped open, surprised.

— Like… — He straightened his posture on the bench, staring at the other boy. — Against a wall or something?

— Wherever works. — Nanami shrugged — The institute is huge. There’s no way you won’t find an opportunity to make Geto talk to you.

— Yeah right — Gojo scoffed, sarcastic. — This place is crawling with nurses and security guards. It’s not like I can kidnap Suguru.

— I don’t think you’re trying hard enough — Nanami said, taking another sip of his coffee.

Satoru took off his sunglasses, feeling deeply offended.

— Hah? Wha the f- I’m chasing after him like a damn dog!

— And yet, you still haven’t figured out why he’s avoiding you? — The blond raised an eyebrow.

Satoru was too stunned to respond immediately.

— Okay — He crossed his legs — Fine. Got it. Message received. I’ll make him talk to me tonight.

Nanami gave him a pat on the shoulder.

— Good luck.

— Hey guys! Finally found you! — Haibara appeared, bumping into a few chairs as he tried to reach them. He looked even more excited than usual — I need help carrying some mattresses to the TV room.

Ah, the sleepover. Satoru had completely forgotten it was tonight.

— I’m too tired — He leaned his head back again, slumping into the chair once more — Go without me.

— Oh, no we won't — Haibara grabbed his arms, failing to pull him up — You agreed to help earlier!

— Hmm... — He murmured in response, not moving an inch.

Nanami tossed his empty coffee can into the trash and grabbed the back collar of Satoru’s shirt, effortlessly pulling him to his feet in seconds.

Satoru’s eyes widened, shocked at how easily he’d been lifted.

— Damn, where did you get that strength?

— Let’s go — Nanami said seriously. — A promise is a promise.

— Okay. Wow.

Haibara grinned brightly, and the three of them walked toward the dorms.

Maybe Gojo would find an opportunity to corner Geto along the way.

 

(...)

 

 

Suguru Geto was sneaking through the hallway, trying to reach his room without being seen by you-know-who.  

Yes, he knew that what he was doing was ridiculous and childish. That hadn’t been his plan at first but the morning after the "bathroom incident", as he liked to call it, he just couldn’t face Satoru the same way anymore.  

Every time Suguru saw him his mind insisted on replaying the vivid scene of Satoru’s naked body, his face would heat up, and Suguru would just panic. The embarrassment was so overwhelming that he didn’t know how to deal with it, that's why he'd run away.  

Yes, he liked guys, that wasn’t a surprise. He’d realized that back in high school and It wasn’t something that bothered him. Geto accepted long ago that he was bisexual. But accepting that he felt attracted to Gojo Satoru? That was a completely different story.  

Of all people... Why... God... Why him?  

Gojo was... Well, Gojo. Arrogant, handsome, insufferable. Still, none of that had ever been a reason for his body to react the way it did. Suguru felt embarrassed and frustrated with himself because after all they were friends. Friends weren’t supposed to get hard over each other.  

Obviously, his plan wasn’t to avoid him forever. Suguru intended to keep his distance just for a few days until his heart stopped racing every time he caught a glimpse of that white hair. Then, everything would go back to normal as if nothing had happened.  

But a part of him knew it wasn’t that simple. Not when every detail of that scene was etched into his memory. A memory he hadn’t asked for but that his subconscious stubbornly refused to let go of.  

He shook his head as if the gesture could push that image away from his mind. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work.  

— Finally found you!  

Suguru turned around, startled.  

— Oh my god. Hi — He put a hand on his chest — Damn it, Haibara, you scared me.  

— Why? — The boy frowned — Anyway, never mind. Have you taken your mattress downstairs yet? It’s almost seven.  

— Uh... So, about that—  

Suguru’s words were interrupted by a loud crash. Both he and Haibara turned just in time to see two boys tripping and falling as they tried to carry their mattresses down the stairs.  

— Are you guys okay? — Haibara immediately sprang into action, rushing toward them.  

Suguru followed close behind, helping one of the boys to his feet.  

— These mattresses are heavier than I thought — the other muttered, rubbing his head. — Fuck... Can you guys help us out?  

— Of course! — Haibara replied, smiling as always. — I’ll help you with this one, and my friend here can help yours carry that one. Right, Suguru?  

Suguru sighed. He didn’t really have a choice.  

— Sure — He offered a polite smile.  

The four of them got up and secured their grips on the mattresses. Suguru tried not to trip over his own feet as they walked, glancing around constantly to make sure he wouldn’t run into Satoru along the way.  

And the moment he saw those white strands of hair at the end of the hallway, he quickly positioned the mattress in front of his face.  

Time seemed to slow as Suguru passed by Satoru, unconsciously holding his breath. Satoru and Nanami were talking about something, but Suguru was too nervous to catch what it was.  

Thankfully, Gojo didn’t see him. Suguru let out a long sigh of relief when they reached the TV room, which was already packed with mattresses. The last available spots were filled with the ones they had brought.  

He saw that as an opportunity.  

— Oh no, it looks like there’s no room for my mattress here... — He feigned disappointment — I guess I won’t be able to join the sleepover...  

— Oh, that’s no problem — Haibara said as he waved goodbye to the boys who had left the room — You can share a mattress with someone. Maybe Satoru? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.  

Suguru froze at the mere mention of that name.  

— No! — His voice came out too loud — I mean — He coughed to cover it up — I think I’ll just skip it.  

Haibara’s expression shifted completely, his usual cheerfulness draining away in an instant. The sad look didn’t suit him at all.  

— If it bothers you that much, I guess that’s okay... — He mumbled, visibly downcast. — It was so hard to convince Masamichi... I thought everyone was as excited as me.  

It hadn’t been hard to convince Masamichi, but Suguru didn’t need to know that.  

And now he felt like the worst person in the world for making Haibara look so disheartened.  

Crap.  

— Fine, I’ll come watch movies with you guys — Suguru gave in — But I’ll sleep in my room. So, while we’re watching you can share the mattress with me. Deal?  

The usual sparkle in Haibara’s eyes returned in an instant.  

— Deal!  

Suguru was fucked.

 

 

(...)

 

 

The movie had just started, but Suguru could barely pay attention. He had managed to avoid Satoru for the rest of the afternoon, but now, sitting there, he could feel every inch of his gaze burning into the back of his neck. It was as if the air around him had grown heavier, even though only he seemed to feel it.

“Watch the movie, Suguru, just watch the damn movie” he thought, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Suguru let time pass, forcing himself to focus on the scenes of explosions in front of him and the soda he was drinking instead of those alarmingly blue eyes staring at him from afar.

Fifteen minutes, thirty minutes...

Forty minutes had passed, and thanks to that massive cup of soda, Suguru needed to go to the bathroom.

“There’s no way he’s still looking at me.”

He turned toward Gojo.

Yep, he was. Those blue eyes were locked on Suguru, and only Suguru.

He turned back to the TV, nervously biting the straw of the cup he held. Geto knew that the moment he got up to leave the room Satoru would follow him and he’d have to explain his extremely strange behavior over the past few days. Suguru didn’t want to do that because he didn’t have any good excuse to give.

He decided to wait a little longer. It wasn’t that urgent after all.

When he turned again to check if Gojo was still staring at him, he was surprised to see him talking to Nanami.

That was his chance.

— Where are you going? — Haibara whispered.

— Just to the bathroom — Suguru kept his eyes on Gojo, who luckily seemed distracted — Be right back.

He hurried to leave as quickly as possible without being noticed, but as he passed through the door, he accidentally hit his foot on the corner of a small table. The noise wasn’t too loud, but it was enough to make him cautiously turn around, afraid that a certain someone had noticed.

And there they were, those terrifying eyes, staring at him as if they could pierce his soul.

“Shit”

Suguru didn’t think twice before opening the door and running out of there. But before he could even reach the bathroom he saw Satoru at the end of the hallway behind him, running like a furious bull.

A shiver ran down his spine, but he didn’t let himself stop for even a second.

“Screw the bathroom I need to get away from him.”

The door to the garden was locked, the cafeteria was closed, and going upstairs wasn’t an option. Gojo’s long legs would catch up to him before Geto could even reach the next floor. Every place he thought of would lead to a dead end. So he had to think, and he had to think fast.

— HEY! — He heard Satoru’s voice, which made him speed up even more.

“Shit, shit, shit”

The most viable option was the kitchen. Even though there was no escape route there maybe he could hide somewhere until he managed to lose Satoru.

So, that’s where he went.

The only thing Suguru hadn’t calculated was that Satoru knew the place much better than he did. When Geto turned at the end of the hallway, Gojo realized where he was heading and took a shortcut through the main hall, resulting in the two of them arriving in the kitchen at the same time.

Satoru grabbed Suguru by the arm and used his frustration to pin him against the wall. Geto tried to escape, but Gojo didn’t allowed. He wouldn’t let him get away, not this time.

He was holding both of Suguru’s shoulders and placed a leg between his just to make sure he stayed put. Gojo looked down, trying to regulate his breathing after running so much.

— Care to explain... — Satoru looked at him through a few strands of hair falling over his forehead. — Why the FUCK you’re running away from me?

Suguru wasn’t much different, panting heavily. He tried to push Satoru’s hands off but failed, the discomfort written all over his face.

— You’re not leaving until you explain what’s going on — Satoru pressed harder — Why are you avoiding me, Suguru? — He repeated.

— I’m not avoiding you!

Satoru couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say something like that in a moment like this.

A short, dry laugh escaped his throat.

— Are you serious? I had to chase you around this Institute like some fucking psychopath, and now you’re telling me you're not avoiding me?!

Geto sighed in frustration, but for the first time it wasn’t because of Gojo, it was because of himself.

— Satoru please, just... let me go.

— No. I’m not leaving you alone until you explain what the hell is going on. Because, as far as I know, everything was fine between us and then out of nowhere, you started avoiding me in every way possible! Who does that without a reason?

Suguru averted his gaze.

— I... Damn it! Why do you care so much?!

Satoru raised his eyebrows, incredulous.

Wasn’t it obvious?

— What the f- WHY? — He paused — Ah... — A short, ironic laugh escaped his lips — I forget that you can be such an asshole sometimes.

Suguru didn’t like that tone.

— Excuse me?

— Because we’re fucking friends! — He stared straight into Suguru’s eyes. — Or am I wrong? Huh? Yeah, maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m the only one who thought of you as a fucking friend.

Satoru was angry but the crack in his voice revealed that even the possibility of this being true hurt him more than he cared to admit.

— That’s not it! — Suguru hurried to respond. — Shit... No... That’s not it.

— Then what is it?! What could I possibly have done that’s so bad you won’t even look me in the face anymore?!

Suguru looked away, staring at the floor as if the answers were right there waiting to be found. He needed courage or an excuse, anything to free him from the embarrassing truth. But nothing came, nothing crossed his mind, no words at all.

After all, he couldn’t just admit that he couldn’t stop thinking about Satoru’s surprisingly defined abdomen and because of that every time he saw him, he felt so nervous it was ridiculous.  He couldn't just say that image made his body react in a way Suguru wanted and tried his best to ignore.

Satoru finally eased the pressure on Suguru’s shoulders and stepped back, but his expression didn’t soften.

— I’ve told you things about me that no one else knows... — Now, his voice carried hurt — What happened? Please, tell me what happened. You’ve been acting like this since...

A pause, a long pause.

Suguru felt his heart race as Satoru looked back at him, as if he had finally figured it out.

— No way... — He blinked in disbelieve — You’ve got to be kidding me. Don’t tell me this is because of that — He laughed — Are you avoiding me because you saw me naked?

Suguru panicked and finally reacted, shoving Satoru’s hands off him as his face flushed violently.

That idea was so absurd, so inconceivable, that it hadn’t even crossed Gojo’s mind all this time. Why would seeing him naked leave Suguru so flustered? It was almost like...

Oh.

Oh.

— You liked what you saw that much, huh? — That trademark smug grin appeared for the first time in their conversation.

Suguru could swear his heart was about to leap out of his chest.

— That's enough. I’m leaving.

He took a step to walk away, but Satoru was faster, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.

— I already told you. You’re not going anywhere — His voice was low but firm. He stepped forward, closing the gap between them even more. — I’m right, aren’t I?

Suguru’s furious glare faltered for a moment. Their bodies were too close. He couldn’t think straight.

So he didn't respond.

— I bet you haven’t stopped thinking about me since that day. — Satoru smiled again, but this time his voice was almost a whisper. — I bet you want to see me naked right now. Because the truth is... You’re attracted to me, aren’t you, Suguru?

— And what if I am, huh?! — He yanked his arm free from Satoru’s grip with force — What if that’s exactly it?! Are you going to make fun of me?! — He pushed him angrily — Crack some joke to keep inflating your damn fucking ego?!

— Then fucking feel attracted to me! — Satoru shot back in the same tone. — Stop running away like some scared little girl and do something about it! — He shoved Suguru back — Kiss me!

— I’m not kissing you!

— But you want to.

— If you don’t shut up, I swear to god I’m going to punch you.

— Then punch me in the mouth with your mouth.

— Fuck you.

— Oh that's enough.

Satoru lunged forward, capturing Suguru’s lips in a kiss. For a moment Suguru resisted, keeping his mouth closed as a last defense mechanism. But as soon as Satoru’s hands gripped his waist, firm and possessive, he couldn’t resist anymore. The taller boy slid his tongue against Suguru’s, drawing a low but audible sigh from him.

The contact felt so good that he felt a tingle in his groin.

Suguru’s body was pulled closer. He buried his fingers in Gojo’s short hair at the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss with almost desperate intensity. Despite kissing, they seemed to continue their argument, albeit non-verbally. After all, their mouths were far too occupied to speak.

In one swift move, Satoru pulled Suguru away from the wall, guiding him to a counter and pressing him there. Geto immediately understood his intent and spread his legs as he sat on the cold marble, where Gojo didn’t hesitate for a second to fit between them, joining their hips. Both of them sighed simultaneously at the contact.

Suguru took advantage of Gojo’s slightly parted lips to run his tongue along the lower one, biting it softly. Surprised by the obscene act, Satoru grinned. Geto didn’t let the moment go unnoticed and, as irritated as he was, ended up smiling too, wasting no time before kissing him again like his life depended on it.

His hands roamed Satoru’s body, slipping under his shirt in search of the muscles he couldn’t get out of his head since he’d seen them. He scratched Gojo’s back with purpose, making his skin erupt in goosebumps.

Satoru, in turn, grabbed Suguru’s thighs and pressed their hips together once more, perfectly aligning their erections.

The sensation was so good it nearly drew a moan from Gojo’s mouth. But unlike him, feeling that snapped Suguru back to reality. The intense sensation reminded him of where he was, what he was doing, and what it all meant. He shoved Satoru forcefully, so abruptly that it made him stumble back.

They both stood there, panting, staring at each other, their emotions as messy as their disheveled hair. Satoru looked at the boy in front of him, unable to believe what he was seeing: the flushed face, the swollen lips, the eyes darkened with desire. He was the cause of that, he was responsible for Suguru Geto’s aroused expression.

— We should head back — Suguru broke the silence, wiping the saliva from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

— Yeah — Gojo replied, still breathless. — We should.

Their eyes met again, and as their breathing slowed, it became clear they were both thinking the same thing:

 

They didn’t want to go back at all.

Notes:

Im afraid I've let my children starve... Forgive me... my children

Hey, I’m late again (more than usual), sorry...
The reason was the same as always: College. ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽
ANYWAY
CAN WE SET OFF FIREWORKS NOW??!!?!?!?
Please let me know what you think, I’m particularly feeling insecure, okay? This is my first fanfic and I’m not sure if I managed to convey the kiss the way I wanted, but anyway...
See y'all next week! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

Chapter 12: Sleepover!! pt.2

Just as Satoru was about to say something, the kitchen door creaked open.

— What are you guys doing here? — Haibara asked. — You're missing the best part of the movie!

— We came to get more popcorn — Satoru replied without taking his eyes off the boy in front of him.

Suguru looked away, already feeling shy enough about what he'd done.

There were still plenty of full popcorn buckets in the TV room, but Haibara didn’t seem to notice the tension lingering in the air.

— Ah, I see. Well, I came to get more soda. Can you guys help me carry it?

— I... need to go to the bathroom — Suguru said quietly, leaving before either of them could even think of a response.

Satoru opened his mouth to try and say something, but in the end, nothing came out.

— I don't think I can carry all this by myself — Haibara said as a subtle hint, already in front of the fridge grabbing some bottles of soda.

— Of course you can't — Satoru muttered, sighing as he helped his friend.

He just hoped Suguru wouldn’t run away again.

 

 

(...)

 

 

When Haibara and Satoru returned to the room, Suguru was already sitting in the same spot as before, staring intently at the TV.

Or at least pretending to.

They placed the bottles on the table so the other boys could help themselves. That’s when an idea popped into Satoru's mind.

— Nanami's calling you — he nodded towards the blond boy, who was still sitting on the mattress they had been sharing earlier.

Nanami hadn’t even noticed they were back.

— Ok, I’ll take him a soda — Haibara replied.

Perfect. Now with their spots switched, Satoru could finally sit next to the person he really wanted.

— Is the movie any good? — he asked, stealing some of Suguru's popcorn.

— Why are you sitting here?

— We just made out. I think I can sit next to you, right?

Suguru didn’t reply, but despite the dim lighting, Satoru didn't miss the blush on his cheeks.

They both kept watching the movie, though neither of them was really paying attention. All they could think about was what had happened in the kitchen just a few minutes ago.

They kissed. They kissed a lot. And it wasn’t just any kiss, it was one where they poured out everything they’d been feeling but couldn’t put into words for the past few months.

Suguru hated to admit it, but he wanted to do it all over again.

And if it were up to Satoru, they wouldn’t have even come back to the TV room.

Feeling anxious, his fingers moved until they touched Suguru's hand. He waited, heart pounding, until unexpectedly feeling Suguru’s fingers intertwining with his.

Satoru stifled a smile so it wouldn’t be too obvious. He wasn’t rejected.

At the same time, they shifted closer, just enough for their shoulders to touch. A simple, subtle contact that sent an electrifying wave through their bodies. No one knew what was happening between them, no one could even suspect. It was their little secret.

— Do you... want to cont—

Suguru's voice was cut off when the lights suddenly flickered on.

— Damn, what an awesome plot twist! — Haibara exclaimed excitedly as he stretched.

Gojo and Geto were so lost in their own thoughts that they hadn’t even noticed the movie was almost over since they had come back.

As the rest of the boys got up, some heading to the bathroom and others to grab more drinks, Satoru and Suguru immediately let go of each other’s hands.

— Well, I’m going up to my room now — Suguru stood up, throwing a suggestive glance at Satoru.

— Already? Stay a little longer! We were thinking about playing Uno — Haibara insisted.

— Nah, I’m really tired — he faked a yawn — But have fun!

Suguru didn’t wait for any emotional blackmail before leaving the room. Nanami had to pat Haibara on the back in consolation as he pouted in disappointment.

— And you, Gojo? Are you staying?

— Ah, yeah! I just... need to go to the bathroom real quick — he scratched the back of his neck, standing up.

— Ok! — Haibara grinned, grabbing the deck of cards.

Satoru practically ran out of the TV room, taking the stairs two at a time until he reached the dormitory hallway.

Suguru was halfway to his room when he was suddenly grabbed by Satoru’s hands, pulling him by the waist and pinning him against the wall. He wasted no time before kissing him again.

— You scared the hell out of me, Satoru! — Suguru whispered, looking around to see if anyone had seen them.

— Sorry — Satoru’s eyes were fixed on the other boy's lips, mesmerized. — Can I kiss you again?

Without waiting for an answer Satoru leaned in, but Suguru's hands pressed against his mouth, stopping him.

— Not here. — He sighed. — Let’s go to the room.

Those words made Satoru’s entire body freeze.

He blinked a few times, trying to process what he had just heard.

To the room.

Suguru wanted to go to the room.

Shit.

He stepped back.

— You know what? — Gojo scratched his neck, avoiding eye contact with a nervous smile. — Uh... it's kinda late and stuff... I think I’ll just go to sleep.

Before Suguru could even react, Satoru quickly pecked his lips and took advantage of their position right in front of his room, opening the door behind Suguru, ready to slip inside.

But Suguru was faster, sticking his foot in the gap before it could fully close.

— Aren't you going to invite me in? — He asked, incredulous and a little confused.

— Actually, no, haha. Good night!

Okay. If Satoru's intention was to piss Suguru off, he had definitely succeeded.

The taller boy tried to close the door again but Geto didn’t let him, pushing it open with force and stepping inside the room with a not-so-friendly expression.

— Are you fucking kidding me?

— Hey... relax... — Gojo raised his hands in surrender, visibly nervous.

— You didn’t think twice before running after me like a fucking maniac, pinning me against the wall arguing with me and saying all kinds of shit because I was avoiding you these past few days — With every step Suguru took forward, Satoru took one back — and now you think you can just shut the door in my face? Just like that?

By now, they had moved far enough for Satoru to stumble onto the bed behind him.

— Sugur-

— You know, if there’s one thing that pisses me off, it’s people who start something and don’t finish it.

Satoru tried to dodge and escape, but Suguru was faster, pushing him back onto the mattress.

— Oh, no way you’re getting out of this — He straddled his lap, pinning him down so he couldn’t escape at all. — You're going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me, whether you like it or not, you motherfucker.

— Oh my God — Satoru muttered, somewhat desperate. — Just how turned on are you?!

— A lot! — Suguru replied immediately. — And I know you are too, I felt your boner against my fucking thigh.

For the first time in Geto's life he saw Gojo’s cheeks flush red with embarrassment, so much so that he couldn’t even come up with a comeback, let alone deny it.

— Why are you rejecting me? — Suguru insisted.

— I'm not rejecting you!

— Then why don’t you want to have sex with me?!

Satoru felt his heart leap to his throat and back.

— Fuck, Suguru... Because I’m a virgin!

Suguru froze the moment those words reached his ears, watching the boy beneath him cover his face and look away, shy.

Satoru is a virgin?

— Wait. Seriously?

— Yes! Why would I lie about that? — He rubbed his face, frustrated. — I got nervous!

The same guy who had just pinned him against the wall for the second time and couldn’t keep his mouth off him was... Nervous?

Suguru kept staring at him, shocked.

— Don’t laugh — Gojo said, removing his hands from his face.

— I’m not going to laugh — He leaned back, no longer hovering over him so closely. — I’m just surprised you think I’d care about something like that.

Satoru pressed his lips together.

He was still embarrassed, but he liked that response.

— I panicked... — He said after a moment, looking away. — I was practically raised locked inside my house. I didn’t have... uh... opportunities.

Suguru observed his face, pondering how he should handle the situation.

— Well... — He leaned in. — You have one right in front of you now.

Their eyes met, and Satoru felt his breath catch for a few seconds before escaping in a long sigh.

He wanted to. Of course, he wanted to. But he had no idea what to do, how to do it, when to do it.

And what he definitely didn’t want was to be a bad experience for Suguru. No. He wanted to be perfect.

— We can... — Suguru hesitated. — ...take it slow. If you want.

He shifted his hips so his ass fit better in Satoru’s lap. A small, delicate move that didn’t go unnoticed by the white-haired boy.

— Have you done this before? — Satoru barely noticed when his hands slid up Suguru’s thighs, his fingers slipping under his shirt.

— A few times.

He had decent experience, but Satoru didn’t need the details.

— So... uh... — He continued touching Suguru’s skin. — Do you prefer being... top, bottom, or...?

Suguru pressed his lips together to hold back a laugh. He wasn’t used to seeing Satoru like this, embarrassed, shy, hesitant. Knowing he was making Satoru nervous and not the other way around (as usual) was quite satisfying.

— We don’t have to go that far today — He replied. — Like I said, we can take it slow.

Satoru nodded, even though he didn’t fully understand what Suguru meant.

Noticing this, Suguru let out a soft chuckle.

— Do you want to kiss me? — His voice was so low it sounded like a whisper.

— Yes.

— Then kiss me, Satoru.

Satoru lifted his torso so he was sitting up in bed, bringing their faces closer. He gently took Suguru’s lower lip between his own as if asking for permission, even though it had already been granted.

And in response, Suguru grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue into Satoru’s mouth while the white-haired boy explored his body, squeezing his skin, holding him tighter.

It felt so good that Gojo could feel fireworks exploding in his stomach, the mix of anxiety and nervousness preceding a feeling he couldn’t quite identify, since it was his first time doing something like this with anyone.

Suguru, on the other hand, felt dizzy, intoxicated, it didn’t feel real.

He was kissing Satoru Gojo.

He was kissing Satoru Gojo while sitting in his lap.

He was kissing Satoru Gojo... wanting to do more than just kiss him.

Suguru gasped a little heavier when Satoru's hands slid down his spine and reached his ass, squeezing it eagerly.

— Wow — He chuckled softly. — Looks like someone’s not so shy anymore.

He couldn’t miss the chance to tease Satoru at least a little.

— Shy? I’ve never felt that in my life.

Suguru rolled his eyes and they both smiled at the same time, quickly returning to their kiss.

Satoru repeated the motion with more intensity, driven by the desire that had been consuming him since the day they met. When he did, Suguru’s hips bucked forward, making their bodies press together more firmly, a gasp escaping their lips.

Geto tugged on Gojo’s lower lip between his teeth and trailed kisses down the side of his neck while his hand slipped inside his pants.

It was an act he hadn't expected, but it drew a heavy gasp from Satoru. It was the first time anyone had touched him like that and it felt so good that Suguru could feel it throb under his fingers.

— You're so hard...— He whispered, sighing against the pale skin.

— Really? — Satoru smiled, affected. — I wonder why...

Suguru pulled Gojo's cock out of the fabric that was covering him, looking down and observing the amount of pre-cum that was oozing out. Satoru's white hairs continued below his navel to his groin and Suguru found this little detail to be really fucking sexy.

His hand slid up and down starting a slow and even a little cautious masturbation, since the nervousness hadn't completely disappeared from the boys' core.

And even though it was a gentle touch, it made Satoru's body tremble from the warm temperature of Suguru's hand, hiding his face in the crook of his neck as he allowed himself to moan softly.

— Fuck Suguru... — He rubbed his lips against the eager skin, giving a delicate kiss.

— Does it feel good? — He whispered.

— Yes... Fuck, yes.

Suguru smiled at that answer, tightening his hand around the length and purposefully applying more pressure to the glans.

Every time he did it Satoru would give small shudders, which Suguru found simply adorable.  

And even though they had only just started Gojo could already feel that he wouldn’t last as long as he’d like. After all, Suguru was irresistible, the way he touched him, the pleasant pressure of his thighs against his body, even the way he breathed made Satoru even more horny.  

But he didn’t want it to end so soon, he really didn’t.

So he pulled the elastic band of Geto's pants away and brought his hand to his cock so he could return that sensation.

— H-Hey, wha- 

— I want to touch you too. — Satoru lifted his face from the curve of Suguru's neck and looked up, locking eyes with him.  

Suguru's breath hitched for a moment, not just because of the touch, but because of the desire-filled expression Satoru wore as he gazed at him.  

He didn’t argue, instead, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Satoru’s, surrendering to the pleasure just as much as he was giving it.  

Satoru used his free hand to trail up Suguru’s back reaching the elastic that always held his hair in place and pulled it loose.  

And when those strands as dark as the night fell over Suguru's shoulders, Satoru felt like he was the only boy in the world, like his eyes were incapable of focusing on anything other than Suguru Geto.

— Holy shit.  

Suguru's eyes opened and he was about to ask if everything was okay when Satoru's lips crashed onto his, pulling him into a hungry, intense kiss.

And just like their kiss, their hands' movements gained speed, tongues clicking as the wet sounds echoed through the room.  

Suguru realized he was close, so in a quick and almost desperate motion, he pulled Satoru’s hand away from his cock.  

Gojo was about to protest when he felt Suguru’s hot length pressed against his own, starting a mutual masturbation. All that escaped his lips was a muffled moan, swallowed by Geto’s tongue.  

But despite having large hands, Suguru couldn't hold them both as well as before. Noticing this and craving more pleasure Satoru placed his hand over Suguru’s, further reducing the space stimulating them.  

The kiss broke only so Suguru could moan more freely, trying somehow to ease the incredible wave of arousal washing over him. Despite being more experienced, he had never done this before, jerking off with another guy, rubbing their dicks together.  

It was hot, wet, and so, so fucking good.

Instinctively his hips began to move up and down, practically thrusting into their clenched fists and making his length slide with even more pressure against Satoru's.  

Gojo, on the other hand, could no longer hold himself back. He grabbed Suguru’s nape and trailed wet kisses, licks, and bites to muffle the sounds his throat couldn't suppress. Until that sweet, familiar sensation began to build in his lower abdomen.  

He sank his teeth into Geto's skin and desperately moved his hand down to his ass, squeezing it even harder than before as he came in thick, strong spurts, which didn’t splatter only because of the hands covering his cock.  

When Suguru saw the scene and felt that warm liquid come into contact with his own erection, his hips moved on their own, faster and faster. His moans grew louder fueled by both pleasure and the sting of Satoru's mouth still sucking his skin. It hurts, but it didn’t bother him. In fact, quite the opposite.  

He gripped the white strands tightly when he reached his peak, thrusting his dick into their hands in slow, spaced strokes. His cum, now mixed with Satoru’s, overflowed between their fingers, dripping down to their pants and making a complete mess.  

Satoru lifted his face from Geto's neck, replacing his skin with his lips, not even waiting for him to recover. He made a point of sucking on his tongue while his thumb traced over the slit of Suguru's cock, smiling when he moaned into his mouth.  

Gojo pulled away just enough to let Suguru catch his breath more efficiently. His face held an expression Satoru had never seen before. This time, the redness in his cheeks wasn’t from anger or shyness but from desire, from the exhaustion of having an orgasm, completely different from the other times.

— Fuck... — Suguru sighed, still breathless running a hand through his hair to push a few strands away from his forehead.

And when his eyes met Satoru's, he smiled, a completely indecent smile.

— You're... really good at this — Satoru said, not quite sure what to do.

— Am I? — Suguru licked his lips. — So are you.

"This guy can't be real."

In a frenzy, Satoru startled Suguru by grabbing his waist and pulling him closer while throwing himself back, making them both fall onto the bed.

— What do you think you’re doing? — Geto’s voice came out muffled, since Gojo was practically smothering him in a hug. — We need to clean up. — He tried to move, unsuccessfully.

— Hmmmm... — Satoru murmured with his eyes closed. — ...but I don’t want to.

— Satoru...

— Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Suguru laughed.

— Satoru, our dicks are still out.

— Let them stay snuggled. In my opinion, they were getting along really well earlier.

— Satoru, for the love of god. — He laughed again. — We need to at least clean up! You're gonna mess up your bed.

— Suguru, I just had the best orgasm of my life. Let me stay lying down for just a little bit, please.

Oh.

Suguru stayed silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say.

— You're unbelievable. — Geto huffed, giving in.

Satoru smiled with his eyes still closed and placed a soft kiss on his lips, adjusting himself on the bed so they could be more comfortable.

They stayed like that for a while, in a comfortable silence, feeling and hearing each other’s soft breaths against their faces.

Suguru wasn’t exactly sleepy so his eyes wandered around the room, recalling what had happened the last time he was there.

Just thinking about it made his chest feel heavier. The bad feeling that had overwhelmed him when he saw Satoru convulsing still lingered from time to time, but now, he felt grateful to see that the boy was well and seemed healthy.

Even so, the place still lacked decoration, no posters, no photos, no personal belongings that revealed anything about Satoru's personality. It still looked like any other hospital room.

It was while thinking about this that he noticed a small table in the corner of the room, near the window.

Right on top of it was the mug they had made in ceramics class, holding a small purple flower inside, one Suguru had seen before while walking through the garden.

And of course, next to the mug were the ceramic penis, the “heart,” and the rabbit (since Satoru had insisted Suguru keep the mustachioed cat as a gift).

He let out a soft, breathy laugh that Satoru didn’t even notice.

For some reason, seeing those objects made him feel calmer.

And maybe, even a little happy.

Notes:

Hey guys!
I want to start this note by THANKING YOU SO FUCKING MUCH for the insane amount of comments on the last update! My god, you have no idea how happy you made me! ♡o(╥﹏╥)o ♥♡

But since not everything is sunshine and rainbows, I also need to apologize for the delay... (even though you all said it isn't necessary, I still feel like I have to)
What happened this time is that I wasn’t liking this chapter AT ALL.
It was actually ready last Saturday, but I wasn’t satisfied with the result in the slightest, and I didn’t know what to do (༎ຶ _｣ ༎ຶ ). So, I needed to take a few days off to think and come back to writing later.
Between delivering a half-assed chapter on time and delivering a chapter that I’m actually happy with, even if it’s a few days late, I obviously prefer the second option. I don’t want to write this fanfic carelessly, I want to create something of quality for you all.
Because of that, I ended up creating a Twitter account just to post updates about When The Sun Fades. I think this way I can communicate better with you guys. It’s nothing major, but if you’re interested, my username is @suguruboobies.

Anyway, let’s get to what matters, WHAT DID YOU THINK?
Who do you prefer as the top? I have some opinions...
See you next week! (Maybe)