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the meaning of my life (is following you)

Summary:

Iaspis has been a member in a group outside the Clans, the Militares Tenebrarum, for several moons now. It's become his life. Throughout his days there, he grows closer to the Imperator, the leader, Mora, and his reputation in the Militares becomes larger.

Or,

Iaspis and Mora's budding qpr and various other events.

Notes:

Sequel to another fic about these ocs which is not necessary to have read before!! I'll be putting it in a series with this one so if you're curious you can,, it does help with understanding the Militares mainly bc that whoever thing isn't really explained in here at all.

This is almost entirely just me pushing these sillies together and making them interact really. Which is also why most of the fic is about Iaspis and Mora (Evil qpps I love them,,,,)

(Points to the unreliable narrator tag) Iaspis is just straight up wrong about a lot of stuff do not believe everything he says!! Ok now enjoy the fic!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Why was it you wanted to meet again, exactly?”

 

Mora looked down upon Iaspis, her large form towering over the cat. She tilted her head, not responding.

 

Iaspis coughed. “Imperator?” He added haphazardly- he couldn't believe he'd forgotten her title.

 

A smile adorned Mora's face. “You know I have recently sent Cicatrix to survey your grounds.”

 

“Yes.” He nodded, an indescribable feeling clawing at his insides at her referral to the entire Clan territory as his. “What of it? Do you want me- or any other Clan member- to help guide her, or-”

 

“It will not be necessary.”

 

He blinked. “No?”

 

“It is a test for her. Not for you.”

 

“Right. So…” Iaspis let his eyes drop downwards.

 

“She will fail.”

 

This caused his gaze to rush back up, staring into Mora's piercing eyes. “Why? How can you be so sure?”

 

Mora laughed, low and raspy, as if he'd just told a hilarious joke. The sound echoed through the deserted Militares base. It was uncommon for it to be empty- apart from them- like right now. Mora had sent the ones who were there away to hunt when he had entered.

 

The larger feline laid down beside him, relaxing like he was an old friend instead of her subordinate. It brought her closer to eye height, but still a good tail-length above it, leaving him to marvel once again at her sheer size. 

 

He'd thought many times that she must be one of the cats of old, the ones that had once been thought to be the founders of Clan culture. She had described her species as a cougar once, and while it was a word he did not recognise from those tales, he still believed they must've been based on ones like her. 

 

“She has been sloppy recently,” Mora spoke once more. “She plays too much with Spina, fawns over me.” A shudder ran over her spine as she said it.

 

Fawns? Like a crush? Are you serious?” Mora broke their gaze, something that almost looked like embarrassment covering her features.

 

“As far as I can tell, yes. It might have been useful if it didn't distract her so much from her duties.” Her frown deepened. “Unwavering loyalty is good to have, but I do need actual performance too.”

 

Iaspis considered this. He couldn't blame Cicatrix, really. Mora was the fiercest and strongest feline he'd ever met.

 

He hummed. “So why give her the mission if you know she won't complete it?”

 

“It is both a test and a distraction,” Mora explained. “I do not believe she can succeed in what I want her to do. If she does, she is lucky. If not, your cats will think they have driven away an intruder and will be off guard when we come for them.”

 

A shiver ran down his spine. “Right. And then we'll free them.” 

 

No more StarClan, no more leaders, no more Chestnutstar. Mora would lead them. Lead them all. And he would follow her all the while.

 

Mora chuckled. “Yes, we will, little cat. Gerentum bellum pulcherrimum erit.”

 

Iaspis’ ears perked at the sentence in the Old Language- a language that had apparently been lost to cats, but was still spoken by Mora's kind and others. The unknown tones sounded like magic to him, mysterious, another sign of the power Mora possessed.

 

When silence filled the tunnel, Iaspis thought the conversation must be over. He took a step forward, but Mora stood and blocked his way.

 

He met those large olive eyes with his own. They stared, as if time had ceased to exist while they looked at each other, remaining frozen in place. 

 

It was Mora who broke the silence, of course. He would not have dared to interrupt their moment, even if he remained in that spot for the rest of time. Her gaze had been consuming him, picking him apart to find out each little detail that made him who he was.

 

“Think about how committed you are to this cause,” Mora said. “Soon, decisions that cannot be unmade will have to be made.”

 

I'm committed, Iaspis thought. I will choose you, no matter the choice.

 

 

Iaspis was not with the patrol that found Cicatrix. Petalwhisper, however, was.

 

“How was it?” Iaspis asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Petalwhisper paused the grooming of her fur. Always willing to chat, his sister was.

 

“Experiencing an actual fight. Saving the Moonstone. That whole thing.”

 

Petalwhisper shivered. “It was kind of scary, if I'm being honest. The cat, she kept rambling on about orders… What if there's more coming?”

 

Iaspis swallowed a hiss. Of course there's more coming, little sis. That's the whole point.

 

He nodded. “Honeypounce was there too, right?”

 

“They were, but they've been distant since then. It's like they're not trusting me anymore.” Petalwhisper sniffled. “It hurts. I want them to trust me. It's always been us three together, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” He agreed. “And it'll stay that way. Do you think they noticed something?”

 

“They were the first to find her, so they might know something I don't, but…” She shook her head. “Crystalfur, I don't get it, why wouldn't they just tell me?”

 

Iaspis’ fur bristled with shame. Clanmates’ eyes were on them now, curious if his sister needed any assistance. She was acting pathetic.

 

“Don't whine.” He spat, low enough that only she could hear. He remembered Corvus telling him the same thing. He was just educating Petalwhisper with their father's teachings. “You'll look weak.”

 

Petalwhisper looked at him, concerned. “What?” She said. “That's not like something you'd say. You've been acting weird too, Crystalfur, don't try and deny it.”

 

He was thankful that his clanmates had left them to their conversation once more, but Petalwhisper was really getting on his nerves. She was his sister- she of all cats should understand. But how could she understand when Corvus hadn't told her about Chestnutstar? When she didn't even know of the Militares? Of Mora?

 

He wasn't able to convince Corvus to teach her, like he had taught him- the WindClan deputy had talked to him less and less since he saw how Iaspis had taken to the Militares. But, he had introduced him to the group, he was a part of it himself even, so Iaspis didn't get why he seemed unhappy with it now.

 

He just had to teach Petalwhisper himself. And bring her to the Militares Tenebrarum. Yes, when she saw Mora, surely she would understand. She would turn to him and apologize, because he had always been right, and then she would swear her everlasting faith to Mora and they would be Militares together

 

He would make sure of it.

 

“Petalwhisper,” He started. “Come hunt with me. I need to tell you something.”

 

 

“You're insane. You're- She- How can you be okay with this?!”

 

Iaspis felt a hiss rise up his throat. He would never hiss at his sister normally, but this time, he didn't stop it. Petalwhisper's ears pinned back as she shrunk into herself, becoming almost smaller than him despite her larger build.

 

“You do not disrespect the Imperator, Petalwhisper. This is well within her right.”

 

“She's- She was eating that cat! The same one from earlier, that we fought, the one with those gruesome scars- Oh StarClan, she put those there too didn't she, did she hurt you at any point too? Crystalfur, we need to leave, it's dangerous here-”

 

His claws were unsheathed. He couldn't understand how Petalwhisper's thought pattern worked. Yes, she joined at a bit of a bad time, but he couldn't fathom seeing Cicatrix's scars and being anything less than in awe. The first time he had been informed about Mora having given the second scar herself, creating a perfect X on Cicatrix's face, he was amazed. Mora's precision, the way she could make a cat's face into an artwork with her claws, inspired him. He would be honored to ever be marked by Mora's claws like Cicatrix was, a permanent sign of his faith in her and her alone.

 

It was blasphemy to think of the possibility as anything less than wonderful. Petalwhisper, as she just made it clear, despised it.

 

“My name is Iaspis,” He growled. “And she was punishing her accordingly. We can't just exile cats here like in the Clans. It would be a danger to us all if they ever wanted revenge, and would bring our reputation down if we ever let a cat just get away with something like failing an important mission.”

 

Explaining such simple truths was almost painful. Everything in the Militares was well thought out. Petalwhisper should get this.

 

“Besides, the Imperator needs to eat.”

 

“Not cats! She's not a mindless predator, she should know better than to eat- you should know better than to see cats being eaten and think nothing of it! And that whole plan, that you apparently helped create; Chestnutstar took us in out of the kindness of her heart, Crystal-” She paused. “Iaspis!”

 

“She kidnapped us.” He started to explain again. “Corvus, Ravenscorch, whatever, he said it himself. He's our father, Petalwhisper, but she stole us away because she wanted more warriors. And Pebblestar allowed it too.” 

 

His anger faded as he started to speak in a softer tone. “They're lying to you, Petalwhisper. Them and StarClan and all of it. We could even try to convince Honeypounce to come too. Please believe me, we can both be happy here, working together to free the Clans from their leaders.” He took a deep breath for what had to be said next. “Because… you don't know what I'd have to do to you if you refused.”

 

It was how things worked. He told her their secret, and either she'd accept them as her own as well or she would have to die. He didn't want to, but he couldn't risk everything he'd worked for since he became a Militaris falling apart. Those few moons had seemed like his entire lifetime, he couldn't lose it all. But could he lose his sister instead?

 

He blinked away tears before they could form, refusing to show his hesitation. Petalwhisper stared at him wide-eyed, as if her ears were deceiving her. He could see her eyes flickering around, scanning the environment. Thankfully for him, many Militares had taken notice of Iaspis talking to the new member. She wouldn't be able to run if she tried.

 

He noticed several of the Militares around them were Clan cats, like them. When he joined, the only familiar faces had been Corvus, Ferox and himself. There had been many more that had joined since then. Maybe that would help convince her.

 

 “I don't- I-” She looked on the verge of crying. Heavy footsteps were heard behind him as Mora, fur and mouth bloodied, came to stand next to him. She raised an eyebrow at him, and Iaspis had to force his gaze away and back to his sister.

 

“What will it be? It's your final chance.”

 

Hushed whispers were surrounding the two of them. Cats were curious. Would they gain new blood, or spill it?

 

Petalwhisper looked at Mora, taking in the cougar’s appearance. She attempted to speak, but only a small squeak came out. Iaspis bared his teeth. She gulped, tried again.

 

“I'll join you.”

 

Many cheered. Iaspis rushed forward, but not to attack. He laid his head against her shoulder, vibrating with purrs. Mora made an amused noise, clearing her throat to put the attention on her.

 

“Welcome to the Militares Tenebrarum, Flora. I do suggest you be a bit more obedient from here on out.” Mora said.

 

She hesitantly nodded in response, while Iaspis continued rubbing his fur against his sister in congratulation. 

 

“Welcome home, Flora.”

 

 

Flora had left back to Clan territory. Ferox had been worried she might tell everyone back at camp, but Iaspis assured her Flora wouldn't. These were her secrets now too, after all.

 

It was getting dark outside when Mora called him towards her with a flick of her tail. She led him towards one of the blocked off exits of the lower tunnel. The cold metal that laid across the gravel felt odd on his paw pads, but he wouldn't protest about something so minor.

 

Mora nudged against one of the largest boulders, then pushed against it again with more force, muscles rippling beneath her smooth fur. Iaspis studied them like he was mapping out her movements. Slowly but surely, the rock began to move, revealing a small passageway behind it.

 

“Woah.” He was almost worried the rocks above it would collapse in on itself, but it seemed the moved rock had no job in supporting the wall, which he was grateful for. “Has this always been behind here?”

 

The tunnel that only had a small part accessible from the main Militares base continued here, stretching on and on. Mora squeezed through the opening with him, closing it behind her. A shudder ran across Iaspis’ form, but he was unsure if it was from fear or excitement.

 

“Yes,” She walked past him to a pile of boxes, moss and leaves that formed a stark contrast against the gravel flooring. “This is my den. Come sit.”

 

The twoleg-made boxes had either been folded to provide a comfortable place to lay down, or stood on their side as a makeshift cave. Iaspis marveled at Mora's nest for a moment, then continued freaking out about how he had been invited into Mora's personal den. Still, he followed her instructions and sat beside the larger feline, who had since laid down.

 

Iaspis’ fur grew warm as the privacy he and Mora were in became apparent, and he decided to instead focus on the texture of the soft moss under his paws. He had the strangest desire to rub up against Mora and never leave her side. He restrained himself. She wasn't his equal, he shouldn't act like she was.

 

“So, you have brought us another member.” Mora said, amusement in her voice.

 

“Yes,” Iaspis smiled at the break in silence. “My sister. I wanted to share this with her.”

 

Mora's annoyed grumble made him fear he'd said something wrong- had he been too impolite? Should he apologise?

 

“Some things will be shared. But I saw; she was hesitant. Very hesitant. It will limit her experiences here.” Mora paused. “Even if she was not, she would still not see all you see.”

 

“Ah- Of course.” Iaspis had to fight to not show his nervousness. Was she complimenting him? Saying he was more than the average Militaris? He couldn't stop his blushing now.

 

He knew Mora'd noticed, because she was laughing. She kept laughing due to him, a mere Clan cat, while she was so much more. It was selfish, he knew it was, but the possibility, no matter how small, that it was only him she treated this way…

 

He wanted to curl around that tiny chance and nurture it until it became all-encompassing, a truth of the universe. If Mora was even a fraction as attached to him as he was to her, he would simply shatter, and even then each piece would stand back up and ask for her next orders.

 

“Iaspis.” Mora said, looking at him directly. “I have… an offer for you.”

 

He shook himself out of his thoughts, paws twitching from nervousness. “What is it?”

 

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. The hesitation wasn't something he'd expect from her, but she showed it all the same. Around him. “Cicatrix is dead, as you saw.”

 

He nodded. “Was she,” He coughed. “Did she taste good, at least?”

 

He should not have said that. That was entirely in poor taste considering the situation. Why did he just say that?

 

A snort sounded across from him, causing him to glance up with widened eyes. Mora had a paw in front of her face, attempting to stop herself from bursting out in laughter. She didn't succeed as it bellowed through the tunnel, Iaspis’ heart beating faster.

 

He made her laugh again.

 

She was going to break him like this.

 

“Oh Iaspis, she was delicious.” Mora chuckled once again, before calming down. “You are a funny cat, Iaspis.”

 

“Thank you.” He managed to get out of his throat.

 

“A position has opened up, I'm sure you're aware.”

 

He shakely nodded. Surely she wouldn't…?

 

I will choose you, his previous thoughts returned. I will choose what you want and follow no matter what you ask. 

 

“I need a new Legatus, Iaspis. And I want it to be you.” Mora's voice, her offer, it consumed him. She wants it to be me.

 

She wanted it to be him. Him, no other cat. He was her first choice.

 

“Yes,” He said, perhaps too quickly. “Yes, I accept.”

 

A smile tugged at Mora's mouth, as a faint rumbling echoed through the room.

 

It almost sounded like purring.

 

 

Iaspis felt blood soaking his fur, staining the skin underneath. It stuck to him, drying uncomfortably under his nails, covering his white pelt with streaks of red that shot out from his paws and up.

 

The blood trailed behind his paws like an arrow, from Chestnutstar's corpse straight to him. It was him, it seemed to say, he killed her, if it wasn't obvious enough already.

 

“Chestnutstar, what's taking you so long?” Honeypounce had called into the den just a moment before. “We need to leave soon.”

 

They would probably enter soon. It wasn't a confrontation Iaspis was looking forward to. Honeypounce would be a hard cat to convince, despite their friendship.

 

The ThunderClan cats must be confused why their leader wasn't responding- he would go out and approach them soon. ThunderClan was not going to the gathering today. Mora would be handling the rest of the Clans there, but he had his own Clan all for himself.

 

“Chestnutstar's not coming.” He called out. Her lifeless eyes stared at him, cementing what he said as fact.

 

“Crystalfur? Why are you in here-” Honeypounce froze. Iaspis took a good sniff of the den's air, the scent of blood filling his nose. He knew Honeypounce could smell it too.

 

“Oh, Honeypounce, let me tell you a little story.”

 

Iaspis felt light-headed. If it was the adrenaline or the fact he'd just killed the cat that had adopted him, he didn't know. He shivered. 

 

“Imagine a cat, presuming his birth parents are dead. According to everyone, he'd been found alone as a kit and brought into the Clan to save him,” Iaspis laughed- he couldn't stop it. He felt like he was losing his mind a bit. “But then there's a cat from another Clan. And he's been the cat's father all along. And despite what he was told, he was actually kidnapped before he was even old enough to open his eyes.”

 

“How do you know this cat wasn't lying to you?” Honeypounce interrupted. They stepped towards him, eyes wide and fearful, but caring too. 

 

“I was busy talking!” Iaspis hissed. “But I guess if you're not going to listen anyway, I better shorten things a bit. Because the cat then joined a group most wonderful, and now they've all come to finally release you ungrateful kitty-cats from the tyranny you don't even recognise.”

 

He was crying. Why was he crying? He was just telling the truth. His eyes flickered to Chestnutstar's body and let out a pitiful, partially repressed whine. She'd raised him- them. Him and Flora both. But she hadn't been raising him, really, because Corvus raised him much better. Corvus would be appalled at his show of emotion now. He should stop that.

 

He lashed out at Honeypounce, who only dodged at the very last moment. He panted, it felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, but he wouldn't let it stop him.

 

“Crystalfur, you don't have to-” Honeypounce let out a choked-off cry. “You don't have to be doing this. We can stop all this, and we can… We can just… do anything other than this.”

 

His face darkened. He dug his claws into the loose dirt to stop himself from charging at his Clanmate. Ex-Clanmate. Would Clans still exist after today? 

 

“Crystalfur is dead, or maybe he never even existed at all.” He said. “I am Iaspis.”

 

“Iaspis. Alright.” Their voice was hoarse and whispery, ears pinned back all the way. “Is this related to that cat who was destroying the Moonstone? If you're being threatened by her I'm sure we could protect you, just…”

 

Iaspis giggled. “Cicatrix, threatening me? She's never been in charge, and she's not higher ranked anymore either, my dear Honeypounce. No, no. Cicatrix is dead, and I have her position now.”

 

He took a deep breath. “Run, Honeypounce, if you value your life. I care about you. I believe you can still be convinced. But Mora, when she arrives,” He smiled. “She will not be so merciful.”

 

Honeypounce didn't have to be told twice, thankfully. Their shouts across the clearing could be heard even from inside the den, warning their clanmates to run or hide- that something was coming.

 

Iaspis let his legs carry him to the exit of the den. When he entered the clearing the wind blew through his fur, white and black and red, exposing his deeds to all who had not yet left. Flora was staring at the ground, and he could see Nerium grinning up at him.

 

“Stop.” He commanded those who started fleeing. “You all are no longer under command of Chestnutstar. From now on, you will be ruled by us,” He lifted his head towards the sky. “The Militares Tenebrarum.”

 

The invasion was a success.

 

 

When Mora eventually joined him in the taken-over ThunderClan camp, she licked the blood off his fur.

 

There were little words said between them. Only heavy breaths filled the silence, yet they felt like an entire conversation. He was shuddering all the while, a mix of the wind chilling his damp fur like frost and the gravity of his actions dawning on him.

 

More Militares had joined Nerium and Flora in guarding the camp. The cats that had already left could not be retrieved now, but they would make sure they would not lose more members.

 

He leaned into Mora's larger figure. Larger, in every sense of the word. At that moment, as he felt the cougar's warmth transfer to him, something washed over Iaspis’ mind. He relaxed, feeling the worship he had given, will continue to give, to her echoing back in turn. There were emotions running through him, undefined and indescribable, only a care, violent in its intensity, for Mora staying recognisable.

 

There was no ‘how did your part of the mission go’, or ‘how are you feeling’. The questions didn't need to be asked for them to be answered. They had done so much today. Despite it all, they had reached their goal. The Clans were theirs.

 

Mora draped a paw over Iaspis, the weight of it grounding him fully. It was a connection forming, longing from both sides that had finally been answered.

 

They fell asleep like that, in a silence that didn't need to be broken.

 

In the morning, Iaspis was awoken by rainfall outside. He raised his head and found that Mora had already awoken, staring at the wall in front of her thoughtfully. Her cheeks were red beneath her fur. When he yawned, she almost jumped and quickly averted her face.

 

“Morning, Imperator.”

 

Mora's eyes were on him now, looking intently. After a heartbeat, she spoke. 

 

“You should call me Mora.”

 

“Really?” He said in astonishment. No cats were allowed to call the Imperator by her name. His chest felt full, Mora's one line filling it with sun and warmth and the urge to follow her and to earn that feeling, that he was more, again and again and again.

 

Mora let out an amused rumble. “Of course, carissime.”

 

She stood, watching the continuous dripping of rain outside. He stuck to her side as she exited, like tree sap. Of course, the height difference meant he was actually below her side, but the phrase still applied.

 

“Come along,” She said to him. “There is something important for us back at the base.”

 

And so they went, ignoring the watchful gazes of both Clan cats and Militares Tenebrarum in and outside camp. The day was young. They could hold a full speech later.

 

The route was familiar to Iaspis now. There was no hesitation in his steps, no sniffing around to amend sure they were going the right way. He didn't have to look to see where Mora was headed to remember. The pattern of streets and alleys they had to traverse to get to the abandoned tunnel, he could walk it blind. 

 

Almost the entire journey, his gaze was tilted upwards, towards Mora's face. Watching the way she would periodically look back at him, smile and continue. He saved each of those moments deep in his memories.

 

The rain didn't bother them. Their fur got wet, yes, but they didn't let it stop their walk. It might have even added to it. Iaspis wasn't sure.

 

The tunnel was empty when they got there. It was to be expected, with all the Militares being spread out among the Clans to keep them in check. It was just the two of them in the large base.

 

Mora wasted no time and immediately opened up her den, allowing them to pass through. She closed it behind them, despite it not really being necessary. Perhaps it had become a habit.

 

She scurried over to her nest before he could, nudging and searching around for something before she opened up the space for Iaspis to join her. The blush had returned on her face, and it only grew when he sat next to her.

 

“What did you want to show me, Mora?” He asked, noticing her indecision.

 

“I,” Mora curled further around whatever she had gathered in her paws. “I have something for you.”

 

Slowly, she opened up her paws, revealing the treasure she had hidden inside.

 

“This rock is for you,” She said. “It is the best one I could find.”

 

Sure enough, the rock was very pretty. It was shiny, seeming polished by a river's current. It wasn't just gray, either. Colors were hidden within the shine, shades of blue or green or purple all able to be seen if one looked hard enough. Iaspis’ eyes shimmered as he reached out, feeling its smooth surface on his paw pads.

 

“It's beautiful.” Iaspis said, and he wasn't lying. He knew he would keep this gift close to him forever. He marveled at it once more. A gift. From Mora to him.

 

“Did you really pick this one out just for me?” He asked.

 

“Yes,” Mora smiled. “Just for you. No one else deserves a rock.”

 

He almost laughed at the absurdity of the statement. He deserved the rock. He was the only one who did. If she believed it, it must be true.

 

“Thank you, Mora.” Gratefulness filled his voice.

 

This time, he was sure the rumbling that filled the den was purring. Purring, from both of them.

Notes:

The rock giving scene felt slightly odd after so much had just happened but it was the entire reason I started this fic so. Mora gives him a rock,,, (I got this from one of those 'character headcanon generators' which gave me 'Mora gives rocks to people she cares about' and I've been obsessed with that idea since then.)

Latin translations:
Imperator - Emperor
Militares Tenebrarum - Soldiers of Darkness
Legatus - a second-in-command in roman armies
Gerentum bellum pulcherrimum erit. - The fought war will be most beautiful.
Carissime - Dearest

 

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