Useless_Advert.nv3

by RulerOfTheImps

Summary:

Velvette convinces Vox to make an advertisement/overview for new sinners, winners, hellborn, and angels, much to his annoyance.

Somebody calls him halfway through.

ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ᴘᴀꜱꜱᴡᴏʀᴅ

– – > *************

ᴠᴇʀɪꜰʏɪɴɢ…

ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ꜱɪʀ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ?

– – > ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴠᴇʟꜱ_ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅᴀꜱꜱ_ᴀᴅ_ᴛᴀᴋᴇ_1

ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ…

~*~

Hello there! Yes, you. All you new sinners, winners, or our not-so-holy neighbors. Sick of the bloodshed, constant fighting, and hiding? Want a place to rest that’s free of blood, brains, and viscera? Well, have we got the place for you!

Temptation, located in what used to be known as Gluttony, is the all-in-one destination for any of your vices, virtues, or variety of the two. Split in half, you have Paradise on the right and Hades on the left, with the Hub right in the middle, which hosts the base of operations of none other than Velvette herself. You can expect nothing short of perfection in the many malls there.

And it gets better! Want to sate your more… salacious needs? Head straight on down to Passion, formerly Lust, run by my business associate, Valentino. Or need a bit of information on somebody? Well, Envy’s always open, and so is my office. You can bet, no matter where they are, I can get exactly what you want, for a reasonable fee of course. Trust m-

V̶̼̟͆̑̉o̴̝̭̞͓̅͘͘͜ẋ̴̹͎̫͍̀.

₣υ¢к! ȺӀ! Fucking- I’m recording! We talked about this! What the hell do you-

I have that little… tidbit of knowledge you’ve been pestering me about for a while now. But, if you’re preoccupied…

Vee, don’t you dar-

Be right there! Sorry Vel. This is important. See you!

You sound real sorry, fucker! Ugh, just- just cut. Did I stutter!? Cu-

~*~

ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ

– – > ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴠᴇʟꜱ_ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅᴀꜱꜱ_ᴀᴅ_ᴛᴀᴋᴇ_1 ᴛᴏ 'ʜᴀʀᴛ'

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ?

– – > 'ᴛʜᴀɴᴋꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ. ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄʟᴜᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ.'

ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ 'ᴏʟᴅᴛɪᴍᴇʏᴘʀɪᴄᴋ'...

ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀᴛɪɴɢ ꜰɪʟᴇ ᴛᴏ 'ᴏʟᴅᴛɪᴍᴇʏᴘʀɪᴄᴋ'...

ꜱᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇꜱ...

ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇꜱ ꜱᴇɴᴛ!

– – > ʟᴏɢ ᴏ

ɴᴇᴡ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ 'ʜᴀʀᴛ'

– – > ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ

ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅꜱ...

‘ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ, ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴀʟ. ᴀʟᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪ ᴅᴏ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴡᴇ ᴍᴇ ɴᴏᴡ.’

– – > ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴏ ‘ʜᴀʀᴛ’

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ?

– – >  ‘ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ ɪ ᴅᴏ. ᴅʀɪɴᴋꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴀᴛᴜʀᴅᴀʏ? ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ, ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ.’

ɴᴇᴡ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ‘ʜᴀʀᴛ’

– – > ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ

ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅꜱ...

‘ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅꜱ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛʟʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ, ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ ʙᴏx.’

Notes:

I hope it's clear who's speaking when. I was trying to give it the feel of an audio recording, so there's no labels saying who said what, and I think it's mostly clear? Maybe, idk. If it isn't clear, let me know lol, and I'll try to fix it.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Eternal War AU