Chapter Text
Michael put down his last box, and looked around his new apartment. It was cozy, and not necessarily large, but it still felt like there was so much space compared to his last place with roommates. He’d have to get some new furniture, and probably some new kitchen utensils. He didn’t cook enough to know for sure, but he was probably missing something or other. He did know he’d need a new broom, and to figure out the wires for his TV, and send his parents his new address.
He was pulled out of his thoughts by a knock at his door. He opened it to see a tall man with dark, short hair, and a square jaw.
“Hi! I’m David, I live down the hall.” The man said, sticking his hand out. He had a thick Scottish accent, but not so thick Michael couldn’t understand him.
“Oh! Hello.” Michael shook his hand, matching his smile. “I’m Michael.”
“Welcome to the building! You just moved in today, right?”
“Yeah.” Michael rubbed the back of his neck, and glanced behind him at the mess of boxes. When he turned around, David was giving him a thoughtful look.
“German?”
“Yes!”
“Ah, you’ll fit right in here. We have people from all over. Aryton and Rubens are from Brazil, and Alain is French. Gerhard is from Austria. They all live on different floors though. Mika and JJ are from Finland; they live right here.” David jabbed a finger behind him at the door across the hall from Michael’s. “There’s more, obviously. I’m sure you’ll meet them all soon.”
Michael tried not to be intimidated by all the names. It wasn’t like he didn’t like people, or that he didn’t like making new friends, but it just sounded like a lot. Hopefully, David was the type of man who just knew everything and everyone, and Michael wouldn’t be the new, odd man out in a building of friends.
“But enough of that. I’m sure you have a lot to do; I just wanted to introduce myself.” David said.
“Thank you!” Michael plastered on a smile. “It was good to meet you, David.”
Once he left, Michael closed his door and sighed. Apparently, he forgot to add socializing with his whole building to his list.
The first time Michael met Mika, he was walking out of the elevator and Mika’s door was wide open. He didn’t notice at first, too busy trying not to scratch the walls with the box of his new bookshelf, but as he got closer to their doors he heard someone muttering in a language he didn’t recognize. He glanced up, and saw that the door across from his was open. Maybe if he was quick, he could sneak past and get into his apartment before anyone noticed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to meet his neighbor. He just wasn’t in the mood. He was tired, probably sweaty, he had been on his feet and busy all day, and he just wanted to lay down and not have to deal with anything else.
Of course, the universe decided against him.
Michael had just gotten his box over the threshold of his apartment when he heard a soft ‘oh!’ and felt someone’s eyes on him. He manhandled the box out of the doorway and leaned it against the nearest wall, and reluctantly turned around.
Oh, of course.
Of course he was in a bad mood, he was probably disheveled and messy, and his new neighbor was apparently the most gorgeous man in the world.
He was about the same height as Michael, but his hair was so blond, and looked so soft. The light from the apartment behind him made it look like a halo around his head. His eyes were big and light blue, and he had a strong jawline but soft lines everywhere else. His cheeks and his nose and his lips and even his eyebrows were all soft. He looked like he belonged in a renaissance painting, like he was more of a romantic idea of a man than a real person.
“Hello.” Michael forced out. He wasn’t sure what the etiquette was, when talking to angels. “I’m Michael, I just moved in.”
“I’m Mika.” The angel grinned at him, all bright and lopsided. It was painfully charming.
“Are you alright? Your door was open and I heard, uh, muttering.”
“Oh.” Mika rolled his eyes. “Yes, I am just looking for…”
He trailed off, and suddenly plucked something from a table or stand that must have been just next to the doorway. He held up a simple leather wallet in victory.
“My wallet!” He chuckled. “I have been looking for ages. You must be my lucky charm, no?”
As he spoke, he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him. He was still facing Michael, though, and when he got closer Michael could see how his eyes sparkled when he smiled.
“I’m glad to help.” Michael smiled back weakly.
“Mika!” Someone shouted down the hallway. Mika turned his head, but Michael didn’t bother. He was too busy watching the way Mika’s hair fluttered when he moved his head. “Meidän täytyy mennä!”
“Kyllä! Löysin sen!” Mika called back, in what must have been Finnish. He turned back to Michael with a shy, awkward smile. “It was nice to meet you, Michael.”
“You too.” Michael said, but Mika was already walking away. He closed his door and leaned against it heavily. Okay, so it was only his second day, and he had already met two of his neighbors. That was good! And even better, one of his neighbors had pretty eyes and a crooked smile that lit up his whole face. Michael could only hope that he was single.
It wasn’t until later that he remembered David had said two people lived across the hall.
Notes:
Translation:
Meidän täytyy mennä! - We have to go!
Kyllä! Löysin sen! - Yes! I found it!
Chapter Text
“Hello Michael.” Someone said, sliding up next to him in the mailroom. It was Mika, with another man opening another mailbox a few steps behind him. He was blond, like Mika, but his hair was shorter and obviously bleached. He was taller, and had a narrower face and sharper angles than Mika. “Have you met JJ yet?”
“No, I haven’t.” Michael put on a friendly smile, while internally beginning a mantra of don’t be his boyfriend, don’t be his boyfriend, don’t be-
“He is my friend from Finland. We live together.”
“Nice to meet you! I’m Michael.” He could only hope his relief wasn’t noticeable in his voice.
“Hello.” JJ gave him a polite smile and a little wave.
“So, are you settling in okay?” Mika asked, before JJ could say anything else. It had only been a few days since his official move-in, and his first encounter with Mika. He had spent the time pretty much holed up in his apartment, unpacking and organizing. He had purposely packed light on his move from Germany, but somehow there was still always something else he had to unbox or set up or find room for.
“I think so. I am almost done unpacking, so.” Michael shrugged.
“That is the hard part.” Mika chuckled. Suddenly, he jerked forward, as if he had been hit in the back. A look of irritation flashed across his face before he glanced behind him. “What?”
“The package?” JJ pointed up, with a little impatience, to the top of the mailboxes. There was a brown package there, clearly labeled ‘Mika Hakkinen’. It was right above Michael’s head, so Mika would have to reach over him to get it.
“Here, let me.” Michael reached up, suddenly pleased with himself. He was wearing a sleeveless black shirt, one of his favorites, that showed off his arms and his tattoo nicely. He would take any opportunity to flex his biceps, especially in front of a cute boy, without seeming like an asshole.
“Thank you.” Mika said gently. He didn’t give any indication that he had been looking at Michael’s arms, but his eyes did seem brighter. Or maybe that was just Michael’s imagination. “I like your tattoo.”
“Thank you!” Michael beamed, and just as he was about to tell the story of how he got it, JJ interrupted again.
“Lopeta flirrttailu.” He said, elbowing Mika in the side. Mika looked at him sharply, gaping, but JJ smiled at Michael. “Sorry, we have a class soon. It was nice to meet you, Michael.”
“You too.” Michael said, as they started to walk away. Mika gave him a lopsided grin and a wave; if Michael happened to watch him leave until he turned the corner, that was no one’s business but his own.
“Michael?” Someone said in front of him. Michael peeled himself away from his book and looked up. Mika stood in front of him, a backpack over one shoulder, giving him a small, friendly grin. Michael smiled; he couldn’t help himself.
“Mika! Sit, please.” He said, as loud as he dared in the library, gesturing to his table. He stacked up some of his books, to make room for Mika. Instead of sitting across from him, like Michael had been expecting, Mika stepped around the table and sat in the chair next to him. His smile only grew.
“What are you doing here?” He whispered, leaning over to bump his shoulder against Mika’s. Mika glanced at him, and gave him a small grin, before looking away and pulling a book out of his bag. Maybe it was a stupid question; classes had already started that week.
“Working.”
“Oh? You work at the library?”
“No, for the university. I teach English.”
Michael blinked at him, trying not to let his confusion show on his face. Mika obviously spoke English well enough to study at an English-speaking university, but to teach it? His accent was very thick, and sometimes he added words or changed the order of a sentence until it wasn’t quite right.
“Oh, that’s-”
“I am joking.” Mika interrupted, his grin widening. Michael chuckled, surprised. “The, uh, International Center is where I work.”
Michael glanced out of the big glass windows. Just outside the library was a small building, seperate from the rest, with stickers and colorful flags decorating the front windows. If he looked closely he could probably find Germany’s flag in there somewhere. Mika working there made much more sense.
“Oh, right. Do you help other Finnish students with English?”
“No.” Mika shrugged. “Not many Finnish people here.”
Mika seemed content to leave it at that, so Michael tried to focus back on his work. It was difficult, with Mika sitting so close to him. He could practically feel the other boy's body heat through his clothes. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mika’s hands flipping through the pages of his textbook. He had soft-looking hands, with long, elegant fingers. He kept rubbing the edge of his page with his first two fingers, thoroughly stealing any and all of Michael’s attention.
“How much longer will you stay here?” Mika suddenly asked, making Michael jump. He could only hope he didn’t notice his staring.
“Uh, I’m not sure. Are you going home?”
“I think so.” Mika sighed. He was staring down at his book forlornly. Michael couldn’t tell what kind of book it was, but he could see about half a dozen sticky notes on just the two pages it was open to.
“I thought you were working?”
“No. I am done for the day. I should read, but I cannot focus.”
“Then I’ll come with you. I don’t need to be here.” Michael said. He started gathering his books and shoving them all in his bag. Mika stood and waited patiently, and smiled at Michael when he finished. They walked out of the library together, and started on the walk back to their apartment building. It wasn’t far, maybe twenty or so minutes, and it was a fairly flat walk. But it allowed Michael the chance to just exist with Mika. They didn’t talk much, but that was okay. He was beginning to get the impression that Mika didn’t talk a lot anyway. They walked shoulder to shoulder when the sidewalk allowed it, but when they had to walk single file, Michael ushered Mika in front with a hand on the small of his back. He liked to imagine that the faint color on his pale cheeks was because of him. It was a cute blush, and if Michael could be the one to cause it then he would be happy with that. Maybe a little too happy.
Notes:
Translation:
Lopeta flirrttailu - stop flirting
Not entirely happy with this one, but I figured I’d post it before I go crazy trying to change it. I hope everyone had a good weekend!
Chapter 3
Notes:
Publishing this during a huge wind storm 😩 rip to me and my deck chairs
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It wasn’t until a week later that he ran into Mika again. He was about to head off to the library when he heard voices out in the hallway; one of them sounded like Mika. Michael took an extra second to look down at himself and make sure he was presentable, before he opened the door. Mika stood with his back to him, fiddling with his keys, and talking to a young girl who couldn’t have been more than ten.
“That is because you are too small,” Mika was saying. “And annoying.”
“I am not!” The young girl cried indignantly. She noticed Michael a second later, and smiled hugely. “Hello!”
“Oh, Michael!” Mika turned and smiled at him. “Samantha, this is Michael.”
“I’m his babysitter.” Samantha said, sticking her hand out. Mika laughed; it was a delightful sound that shook his shoulders.
“Oh are you?” He asked.
“That sounds like an important job.” Michael said, taking Samantha’s hand and shaking it in mock seriousness.
“It is.” Samantha nodded solemnly. “He’s annoying.”
Mika reached over and shoved her in the shoulder in retaliation.
“Do you want to meet Caroline or not?” He asked, unlocking his door. Immediately, Samantha’s face changed, and she nodded feverently.
“Please?” She looked back at Michael. “Have you met Caroline?”
“Oh!” Mika exclaimed before Michael could answer, his eyes brightening. “No! Michael is new, he hasn’t met her yet. Come!”
He motioned for Michael to follow them inside. Michael knew he needed to go to the library, and he knew he had a lot of reading to do, but Mika’s smile was so bright and he seemed so excited about whoever Caroline was. Surely ten minutes couldn’t hurt, right?
“Alright.” Michael agreed. He quickly locked his door and followed them into Mika’s apartment. It was clean and tidy, if a little sparsely decorated, everywhere except the table next to the door. It was a mess of keys and coins and loose items, and he was pretty sure he spotted Mika’s wallet. He knew JJ also lived there, but he hadn’t heard anything about any Caroline. His confusion was levied, however, when Mika walked over to a large aquarium in the corner. Mika lifted off one side of the lid and reached in, murmuring something. Michael couldn’t see what he was doing exactly, but he was content with just watching Mika’s shoulders move under his shirt as he worked. When he turned around, he was gently holding a small green…
“A turtle?” Michael asked, surprised.
“A tortoise.” Mika corrected, his voice fond. “This is Caroline. Caroline, this is my friend Michael.”
Friend? Already? Michael thought, but he wasn’t complaining. Mika looked up from Caroline to give Michael his bright, lopsided grin, and he couldn’t help but smile back. Mika’s eyes really were so pretty, like the sky on a clear day.
“Can I hold her?” Samantha suddenly asked, shocking Michael out of his reverie. He had practically forgotten she was there.
“Wash your hands.” Mika said quickly.
“You didn’t wash your hands.” Samantha grumbled, but she went to do as told. Mika rolled his eyes and didn’t respond.
“So is she your… Sister?” Michael asked quietly. Samantha didn’t look like Mika, and she had a different accent, but he couldn’t think of another reason Mika would know a ten year old.
“No.” Mika chuckled. With the hand that wasn’t holding Caroline, he reached out and took one of Michael’s hands and held it up, causing a shiver to go down his spine. His hands were strong and soft, and so warm. “I know her father. He has me watch her sometimes when he works. I am like her, her baby… Ah, what did she say?”
“Babysitter?” Michael said, watching as Mika gently placed Caroline in the palm of his hand. He reached down and grabbed Michaels other hand, and placed it on top of Caroline’s shell, so she was sandwiched between his palms.
“Yes, that.”
Mika dropped his hands and smiled. Michael wasn’t sure what to focus on; Mika’s smile, or the tortoise in his hands. He managed to pull his eyes down and away from Mika’s goofy, sunshiny smile and decided on the tortoise. Caroline was a cute little thing, looking up at him with dark, beady eyes.
“Hello, Caroline.” Michael cooed. She opened her mouth a few times and moved her legs, like she was walking.
“She is trying to escape.” Mika chuckled. “She loves to hide.”
“She’s cute.” Michael said, but he looked up as he said it. Mika was standing closer than before, still smiling down at Caroline. His eyes were so fond, and his smile was so gentle and soft.
You’re cuter, Michael thought desperately. Mika reached out and gently stroked his first finger over Caroline’s head. He glanced up, meeting Michael’s eyes. He really was so pretty. His blond hair had fallen over his forehead and into his eyes, and Michael had the insane urge to reach out and brush it out of the way. Mika was still gently petting Caroline’s head, but his pinky finger accidentally brushed the back of Michael’s hand where it was holding the shell. Immediately, Michael felt his face begin to warm up. Mika didn’t have any such issues; his skin remained pale and smooth and perfect. But his eyes were darting around Michael’s face, like he was looking for something, or absorbing everything.
“I washed my hands!” Samantha called, walking back into the room and snapping Michael out of a trance for the second time. At least this time, Mika seemed to be in a similar state. He jumped, and blinked a few times at the girl.
“Oh. Right. I will take her, Michael.”
Michael let Mika maneuver his hands so he could take Caroline back. Once she was secure in his hand, he kneeled down to help Samantha hold her. He explained patiently how to hold the shell between her hands, and why, and that no, Caroline didn’t bite, and even if she did it wouldn’t hurt.
He’s hot, and he’s good with kids and animals. Some small, weird part of Michael’s brain pointed out. Michael told it to fuck off, even if his heart felt like it had doubled the size in his chest.
“If you want, I have grapes to feed her.” Mika was saying to Samantha, but he glanced up. “If the Michael could get them..?”
“Me?” Michael asked, a little surprised by Mika’s turn of phrase. “Uh, sure.”
“Thank you, they are just on the counter.”
While he walked into the kitchen, Michael let himself snoop a little and looked at the pictures decorating the walls. There weren’t many, but enough to pause at. There were some of a younger Mika, with other people he could only assume were his family, and a few similar ones of JJ. There were also two pictures of the both of them. In one, they were sitting on their couch, pressed together and laughing, each of them holding a beer. Michael felt something uneasy form in the pit of his stomach. They weren’t kissing or holding each other, but there was still something there that felt… Intimate. Mika was practically in JJ’s lap, and their bodies were pressed together from shoulder to thighs. In the other picture, JJ and Mika were standing on either side of an older man, with big dark sunglasses and a large mustache. The picture was more formal than the other one, but Mika and JJ both seemed familiar with the man, and they had their arms around his shoulders. Their hands were probably touching behind his back. Michael thought back to the mailroom, and how comfortable JJ had been getting in Mika’s space, and how quickly he had escorted Mika out when Michael flexed his arms getting their package down. He had even said ‘we have a class soon’, implying they had to leave together.
But Mika had introduced JJ as his friend, not boyfriend.
But Mika also sometimes said things wrong. He didn’t know the word ‘babysitter’. He had referred to Michael as ‘the Michael’. It was entirely possible that he had misspoke and said ‘friend’ when he meant ‘boyfriend’. And JJ was from Finland too, so maybe he didn’t notice. Maybe in Finnish ‘friend’ and ‘boyfriend’ were interchangeable.
Had Michael been reading this all wrong? Mika had only been friendly with him. It wasn’t like he had…Had winked at Michael or anything. Fuck, was he mooning over someone’s boyfriend?
Before he could spiral any more, Michael grabbed the bag of grapes off the counter. He needed to get out. When he came back into the living room, Samantha was sitting on the couch with Caroline in her lap, and she was giggling while Mika was whispering something harshly.
“What happened?” Michael asked, holding out the bag of grapes. Mika took them, but he didn’t meet his gaze. Michael didn’t notice, too busy avoiding Mika’s eyes.
“The Samantha was just saying I should take Caroline and she should start reading for her homework.” Mika said, making Samantha’s head shoot up.
“No! Five more minutes? I haven’t even fed her yet!” She pleaded. Mika held up a single grape, but didn’t let her take it.
“Be nice. And gentle.” He insisted. Samantha nodded, and Mika let her take the grape.
“I should, uh, get going.” Michael said reluctantly. He had his own homework to do, and he really, really didn’t want to stay around to stare at Mika any longer. What if JJ came home?
He said his goodbyes to Samantha, and to Caroline, and let Mika walk him to the door.
“I will see you later, yes?” Mika asked at the door.
“Of course. I’m sure you’ll see so much of me you’ll get tired of me.” Michael joked, motioning to his own door. He didn’t mean it. He knew he had a habit of staring, and he couldn’t go around staring at a taken man.
“I would never get tired of you, Michael.” Mika laughed, making Michael’s heart beat heavily in his chest. Mika couldn’t mean that. They barely knew each other.
“Well I’ll, uh, see you.” He said quickly, and practically ran away before Mika could get his own goodbyes out.
Notes:
A-ha! And you all thought they would communicate.
Chapter 4
Notes:
Mentions of drinking in this chapter.
Also Mika’s POV!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“It’s too bad you’re Finnish, Mika.” David said, slinging his arm over Mika’s shoulders. “You’d be hot otherwise.”
“I… I… What?” Mika tried to jerk his shoulder away. “I am not because I am Finnish?”
They were drunk. Him, David, and Johnny had all gone out after a long week, and maybe they had all drank more than they should have. It wasn’t a huge party, and they had even planned to only be out for a few drinks, but somehow a ‘few drinks’ turned into ‘one more’, and then suddenly it was last call. They had managed to get themselves back to their apartment building, all in one piece, and were making the arduous trek down the hallway to their apartments. Mika had been doing a decent job of it until David draped himself across his shoulders.
“Oh yeah.” David nodded, serious. “You.. Talk too funny for me.”
“Me too.” Johnny said, coming up on Mika’s other side and throwing his arm around his shoulders, despite being shorter. Mika, sandwiched between the two, rolled his eyes.
“Well, you talk too funny to me. And you only speak English.”
“We only need to speak English!” Johnny insisted. Mika giggled and bumped him with his shoulder. They were taking up so much of the hallway that Johnny bumped up against the wall, but he didn’t react.
“That makes no sense.”
“No, it makes perfect sense.” David scoffed. “You just don’t speak English well enough.”
“You are an asshole!” Mika laughed, shoving David into the wall. David just laughed right back.
“Ah, you know we don’t mean it Mika.” Johnny cooed, grinning. He grabbed Mika by the shoulders and pulled him into a big hug. Mika hugged him back, a little awkwardly. Johnny was shorter than him, by just enough that he had to bend down a little to hug back.
“Aw, yeah, we don’t mean it Mika.” David said. He stood up and tried to bring both Mika and Johnny into a hug. But he stood up too fast, and leaned forward too fast, and put too much of his weight on them. Mika was still off balance, and they were all drunk, and he quickly realized they were going down.
“David-David, wait-” Mika tried to find his footing, but he was caught between David’s weight and Johnny, who was also off balance. Before he knew it, they were falling and hitting the floor hard. David stood over them, laughing.
“You fucker.” Johnny chided, but his voice was breathless from laughing. Mika groaned, while trying to hold in his own laughter. The ground was hard and unforgiving, but they hadn’t landed that hard. The alcohol helped soften the blow.
“Come on.”
David helped Mika up, then Johnny. They had fallen almost in front of Mika’s door, so they said their good-nights, and Mika went inside. He hadn’t woken JJ up, thankfully; he was cranky when he was tired, and Mika really didn’t want to deal with that. He puttered around the kitchen for a bit, drank some water and stole some of the grapes meant for Caroline, and then…
The next thing he knows, he’s waking up in bed. Mika shuffled a little, trying to get more comfortable. He was thirsty, but so tired, and he was also… Wearing his jeans? Confused, he blinked his eyes open, and looked down at himself. He was tucked into bed, but he was also fully dressed. He even still had his socks and watch on. Now that he was more awake, he realized he wasn’t just thirsty, either. He felt like he hadn’t drank any water the night before and was close to dying of dehydration. But his head. Every movement made his head spin, and he had to close his eyes and breathe through it. He right knee hurt, too, for some reason.
He laid there for a bit, unmoving. He tried to think back to the night before, but every time he tried to remember going to bed, it came up blank. He remembered getting to the building, the elevator, coming in to his apartment and even making a point to lock the door so he didn’t forget again. But for some reason, he couldn’t remember anything past that. Why was he still dressed? When had he gone to bed? Why couldn’t he remember anything? Why was he so thirsty?
Well, maybe the last question had a reasonable answer. He didn’t remember drinking any water while out at the bar, and only having a bit once he got home.
After laying there for a bit, contemplating his existence and his stupidity, Mika dragged himself up. First things first, he thought. He stumbled into the kitchen for some water, not bothering to turn on any lights. His knee throbbed in pain, but it wasn’t so bad he couldn’t walk to the sink. Once he felt like he wasn’t so thirsty he was nauseous, he went back to his room and began stripping off his clothes until he was down to his boxers. He didn’t bother putting anything away; that would be a problem for morning Mika.
The clock on his nightstand read 5:50AM.
His clothes would be a problem for late morning Mika.
Mika woke up gently, then all at once. The sun was filtering through the cracks in his blinds, giving his room some light but not too much. His head didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it had before, and his throat didn’t feel like something died in it anymore, which was good. He actually felt almost fine, more or less, even though his knee still-
Someone was knocking at the front door.
God dammit.
Mika pulled himself up and pulled on the first shirt he found in his drawer. JJ could snore his way through anything, so it was up to him to answer the door, and he didn’t want to open it shirtless for someone like the landlord. Again.
Mika whipped the front door open, and immediately squinted against the harsh light of the hallway. It was so bright that he couldn’t quite make out the person standing in front of him.
“Ah, Mika. Are you okay?” They said. After a few seconds, Mika recognized Michaels voice. He grumbled something that resembled ‘fine’, and rubbed his eyes. When he felt he wouldn’t be completely blinded again, he moved his hands and opened his eyes.
God.
Michael had clearly just come in from a run. He was wearing a white t-shirt that was damp with sweat and sticking to his well-defined chest and his strong arms. His curls were windswept and damp, and his skin was glistening with sweat. He was taking deep, measured breaths, like he was still recovering from his run. Mika let himself stare for a long, long moment.
“This was in my mailbox this morning.” Michael was saying. Mika snapped himself out of it, and took the envelope that was being handed to him. “Rough night?”
“I…” Mika cleared his throat, and dragged his head up to make eye contact. Michael was giving him that little smile that made his eyes sparkle again. It was really unfair; Mika felt terrible and probably looked it. “I don’t remember.”
“You don’t remember?” Michael repeated in disbelief. “How much did you drink?”
“Not that much. I…” Mika ran a hand through his hair. “I remember coming in, and David, and Johnny, and… We fell. My knee!”
Mika looked down. On his right leg, just below his kneecap, was a long, angry red mark. It wasn’t a bruise, but it almost looked like he had scraped some skin completely off.
“Mika!” Michael gasped. “What happened? You fell?”
“David pushed us! Me and Johnny hugged goodbye, and David… I think also tried to hug us, and he pushed us over.” Mika chuckled, looking down at his knee. He wondered if Johnny had a matching one, and why he hadn’t felt anything when it had happened last night. Had he really been so drunk?
“David did this to you?” Michael asked. He looked more concerned than Mika.
“On accident. It hurts, but not so bad.” He shrugged.
“Well, if you’re sure. Put ice on it anyway, and try to rest it.”
“Yes, valmentaja.” Mika rolled his eyes. At Michael’s questioning look, he added: “I used to do gymnastics, and you sound like my teachers. I forget the word in English.”
“You…” Michael’s eyebrows did something funny. “You did gymnastics?”
“Or, well, a type of gymnastics. I don’t know how to say it in English.” Mika shrugged, but he smiled on the inside. Bringing up his past as a gymnast was always a good way to tell if someone was into him. “I don’t any more, but I did it for a while.”
“Uh. That’s, uh, that’s cool.” Michael glanced down, then back up. His face was flushed, but Mika couldn’t tell if it was from his exercise or picturing him doing gymnastics. “I like your shirt.”
“Thank you!” He said, even as he looked down. He was wearing a black shirt with a Finish band name on it, and some admittedly cool art, but he didn’t recognize it. “I think this is JJ’s.”
“Oh, right.” Something in Michael’s expression went tight. His eyes weren’t as bright as before, and his smile was only polite, not friendly. “Well, say hi to him for me, okay? I’m going to shower.”
“Of course.” Mika cocked his head to the side just so, in a way he knew made his hair fall onto his forehead delicately, and smiled. “Bye, Michael.”
Mika leaned against his door once he closed it. He didn’t even care that his knee hurt and he couldn’t remember parts of last night anymore. He got to see Michael all sweaty after his workout, and he even made him blush. He had just woken up, and already it was a successful day.
Notes:
Valmentaja - coach
This is me pushing out the reminder that Mika Hakkinen once trained to be an acrobat. That is not something I made up, it is something that actually happened.
Also this is basically a play-by-play of how my Thanksgiving went. Got drunk with my cousins, one of them hugged me and knocked me over, I blacked out later (NEVER done that before??) and woke up fully dressed, makeup and all, ready to die of dehydration. Drink your water kids.
@everyone that’s left a comment on this or another of my F1 fics: I want to give you a lil kiss
Chapter Text
Michael walked into the mailroom to arguing. He hesitated outside the door, not sure if he should go in. It was the entire building's mailroom, so he had every right to, but he also didn’t want to be caught up in whatever was happening in there already. He glanced in, hoping that the people arguing would be leaving, but no. Two men, both with brown hair, although at different lengths, were arguing about something at the far end of the mailroom. To his surprise, Mika stood between them, looking awkward. Unfortunately, Mika noticed him at the same time. Michael had been trying to avoid him, so he could get over his little crush and get over the Incident, as he had started calling it. It had been almost a week since he had knocked on Mika’s door and been greeted by what looked like a grumpy, ruffled kitten. He didn’t think he had it in him to risk any repeats of that. But Mika stood in the mailroom, smiling at him and looking like the sun personified, and Michael felt his chest twist painfully in a confusing mix of disappointment and happiness.
“Michael!” Mika called, cutting off the two other men. His relief was visible on his face. Reluctantly, Michael entered the room; at least they had stopped arguing. “This is Alain and Ayrton.”
“We’ve met before.” Alain said, giving him a small smile. They had met a week prior, when they both walked into the lobby at the same time. Alain was a small French man who was a professor in mechanical engineering, so Michael wanted to make nice with him in case he was ever in one of his classes.
“You moved in across from Mika, yes?” The other man, Ayrton, asked. He was taller than Alain, but not as tall as Michael. His face was calm and passive, despite the arguing earlier, but his eyes were strangely intense.
“I did.”
“Are you a student?”
“I am. I’m studying engineering.”
“Ah, an engineer. Good.” Ayrton nodded, his face still serious. But there was some measure of approval in his eyes.
Michael opened his mouth, to say that he wasn’t an engineer quite yet, when Alain reached over and slapped Ayrton in the chest.
“Do not interrogate him.” He scolded. Ayrton frowned down at him.
“I was not! I am only asking-”
“You were about to.” Alain insisted. He turned to Michael and gave him a polite smile. “He does it to everyone, do not worry.”
“I was asking, okay?” Ayrton waved his hands around, as if he couldn’t believe Alain would accuse him of anything. Alain just scoffed, and Ayrton rolled his eyes.
Michael shifted, uncomfortable, but still unwilling to meet Mika’s gaze. He still hadn’t really recovered from the Incident. Mika had looked so soft and sleepy when he opened the door; his hair had been so messy, Michael had desperately wanted to run his hands through it. He hadn’t been wearing any pants either, so Michael had refused to look down and instead ended up staring at Mika’s face the entire time. He had been so distracted by how cute he was that he hadn’t even noticed the gash on his leg until Mika pointed it out himself. And then learning he had done gymnastics? Michael hadn’t let himself think about how flexible that meant he was. He wouldn’t.
“Mika, dinner is still open, yes?” Ayrton asked, turning to the other man.
“Yes!” Mika agreed eagerly, probably happy to avoid another argument.
“And tell JJ he is welcome too, of course.” Alain added. Of course. Of course they would invite Mika’s boyfriend to come with him. Obviously. JJ probably knew how flexible - stop. “Michael, it was nice to see you, but we have to go.”
“Of course. You too.” Michael said, his words not quite catching up to how fast the conversation was moving. It didn’t matter, though, because Alain and Ayrton were walking away, talking between themselves. Probably starting another argument.
“Are they always like that?” Michael asked when their voices had faded, to ease the awkward silence. He could do this. He could be normal around Mika. He had to be. He turned his head to look at Mika; fortunately, he wasn’t looking back.
“Yes.” Mika sighed, loudly, exasperated.
“Are they, uh, together?” He hadn’t noticed any rings, but something about them had seemed close.
“No one knows.” Mika said, meeting his gaze. His eyes were sparkling with humor. “They live together, and they argue like, like…”
He waved his hand around, his face scrunching up in frustration.
“An old married couple?” Michael offered.
“Yes! Like that. But they have different, ah, last names, and they do not wear rings.” Mika shrugged. Michael glanced at him, then looked down and focused on his mailbox so he wouldn’t be focused on Mika. Distantly, painfully, he wondered if he was wearing another one of JJ’s shirts. Was he the type of boyfriend to steal clothes? Michael would never know.
“You’ve lived here how long? And you do not know if they are married?” He asked. He meant it to be teasing, but his voice came out a little too fond. Mika huffed behind him.
“No one knows.” He insisted. Michael chuckled, despite himself. “They have lived here longer than most.”
“Why doesn’t anyone just ask?”
“And admit we don’t know? After all this time?” Mika scoffed. Michael found himself laughing; he really couldn’t help himself around Mika. Just being around him was making his heart flutter.
“I guess so. Are you going upstairs?” Michael asked, nodding to Mika’s backpack.
“No, class.”
“Class?”
“Yes?” Mika gave him a funny look. “I am a student.”
“You are? But you said you worked at the international center.”
“Michael.” Mika gave him a look, like he wanted to laugh but didn’t want to be rude. Suddenly, Michael felt like an idiot. “I do both.”
“Right.” Michael rubbed at his forehead. “I don’t know why… Of course. What do you study?”
“Biology.”
“Biology? Neat!”
“It is.” Mika grinned at him, then glanced at his watch. His grin fell, and he scooped up his backpack quickly. “I have to go!”
“See you later!” Michael called after him. He watched Mika disappear around the door, smiling to himself. Once Mika was gone, he looked down at his own mail, slightly crumpled in his hands.
“Neat.” He repeated, derisively. Ugh.
Notes:
I know this one is short, I’m sorry :(
But Alain and Ayrton! Wohoo!!
Chapter 6
Notes:
I survived my first office Christmas party yesterday, so have a new chapter 🎉
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Michael groaned when the lights flickered out. They had been fluttering all afternoon, but of course they didn’t go out until after the sun had set. It was storming outside, surprisingly harsh for late September, and he knew it had only just been a matter of time until the power went out. He had gotten out some candles and a lighter earlier, so he didn’t have to stumble around looking for them, so he lit them up and placed them around his living room. His mother had insisted he have the candles, just in case this exact scenario happened. He would have to begrudgingly thank her later.
Someone knocked on his front door. Michael picked up one of his candles and walked over to the door and opened it. Mika stood there, in comfy-looking clothes, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“Ah, you lost power too?” Mika said, sounding sheepish.
“I did. Probably the whole building.” Michael glanced down the hallway, where it was all dark. Behind Mika, his door was still open, and Michael could tell his apartment beyond was dark too.
Ah.
He really shouldn’t. Mika still made his heart do funny things in his chest, and he found himself smiling at the other man in what he knew was a ridiculous, stupidly fond way.
“Do you wanna come in?” He asked anyway. “Spend some time here until the lights come back on?”
“If you don’t mind?” Mika raised his eyebrows pleadingly, making him look like a puppy. How was Michael supposed to say no to that?
“Of course not!”
“I will be right back.” Mika said, smiling. He disappeared into the shadows of his front door, leaving Michael to hope that he hadn’t just made a huge mistake. Surely Mika wouldn’t bring JJ? He hadn’t said anything about JJ, or invited both of them in. He didn’t think he could handle Mika and JJ being cute and couple-y in his living room.
Before he could get too wrapped up in his head, Mika appeared, alone. He was clutching something to his chest. Once he walked into the candlelight, and Michael let him inside, he realized it was Caroline.
“I did not want her to be alone in the dark.” Mika said sheepishly, shrugging. Michael couldn’t help but smile. Of course Mika, the angel, would think about his tortoise first. Of course he wouldn’t want her to be alone. Michael suspected that Caroline, an animal, wouldn’t have cared about the darkness, but it still melted his heart that Mika thought of her.
“So JJ isn’t home?” He heard himself ask. Mika shrugged again.
“No. But she is not his tortoise anyway, he would not take care of her.”
“Ah.” Michael looked around his living room, suddenly nervous. Him and Mika were alone, in his apartment, with no power, that was only lit by candlelight. If he was JJ, it would look very suspicious. “Sit, please.”
“Thank you.” Mika sat down heavily on his couch, and leaned back and slouched down. He kept Caroline cradled against his sternum. Michael couldn’t help but notice how only one of his hands nearly dwarfed her entire shell, and how long and strong his fingers were, but how delicately he held Caroline. Mika smiled fondly down at her and stroked his thumb over her shell.
“So I never asked.” Michael said, sitting in one of the chairs across from Mika, ignoring the rest of the space on the couch. “Why do you have a tortoise?”
“They are my favorite.” Mika said simply, with a shrug.
“Are we allowed to have pets?” Michael asked, then blinked and quickly added: “Not that I would ever, uh, tell on you or anything. I just don’t know because the lease wasn’t very clear.”
“I know.” Mika gave him a small grin. “The lease isn’t clear. No one really knows about the pet policy. Or any policy.”
“So you didn’t understand it either?”
“No!” Mika giggled. “It was horrible! And the landlord is so hard to get a hold of.”
“They are! I thought it was just me!”
They fell into easy conversation after that. All feelings aside, Michael just enjoyed being around Mika. He was funny, and kind, and he let Michael talk well past the point others would have interrupted or stopped listening. The glow from the candles made Michael’s living room feel softer, and cast Mika in a soft golden light. It wasn’t quite domestic, with all the space in between them, but it was… Cozy. Comfortable.
“How long have you lived here?” Michael was asking.
“Only two months longer than you. Me and JJ were the new people until you came along.”
“Really? But you know everyone so well!”
“They are all very friendly. And I am very… Amicable.” Mika said, and then he winked. Michael felt his face flush, horrifically, and he ducked his head. Was that flirting? No way Mika was flirting with him. He had a boyfriend. Mika wouldn’t flirt with someone while dating someone else, would he? No, surely it was just a… A friendly, joking wink. That was a thing, right? Michael had never winked at someone without meaning it in a flirty way, but maybe they did in Finland.
“I’ve been meaning to ask something.” Mika continued after a moment. Michael dragged his eyes up from the carpet and hoped he looked normal. Mika was giving him a warm, soft look that was only made warmer and softer by the candles. It didn’t help the butterflies in his chest. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Oh.”
Just then, the lights came back on. Unfortunately, Michael had left his lamp and big living room light on before the power outage, so they were momentarily blinded by the sudden bright light. Michael used it as a distraction, to stand and walk to the kitchen to turn all the lights off. When he came back into the living room, after taking a moment to calm himself down, Mika was already standing.
“I should go.” He said sheepishly. “Thank you for having us.”
“No problem at all.” Michael smiled, but Mika wouldn’t meet his gaze. He walked him to the door, where finally Mika looked up and grinned at him. It wasn’t as big as usual, though.
“Thank you, Michael.” He murmured.
“Of course.” Michael nodded. He wanted to make a joke, about hanging out every time there was a power outage, but he couldn’t think of one in time. Mika gave him one last small smile before disappearing into his apartment. Michael closed his own door and leaned against it.
Mika hadn’t been about to ask him out. Surely. He was probably just asking to be friendly. Friends asked about dating all the time. But then what did he mean ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you’? Had he put thought into asking Michael about his dating life? Had he thought about Michael’s dating life? Had he… Thought about asking Michael on a date?
No, of course not. That was stupid. Mika had JJ, who was tall and athletic and from the same county as him.
But he had winked at Michael.
Don’t be ridiculous. Michael chided to himself. That didn’t mean anything. A wink? Please.
But he also listened when Michael rambled. He made dry, witty comments that made Michael pause and laugh. He smiled whenever they made eye contact. He complimented Michael’s hair. He did things that, if Michael didn’t know better, would really seem like flirting.
But he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He had a boyfriend.
Right?
Notes:
Hope all my fellow Californians are okay after the earthquake.
Chapter Text
Mika sighed and rested his chin on his arms. He was staring out of his bedroom window, hunched over his desk, trying to work on his homework. Well, maybe not trying anymore. His papers were scattered, forgotten, under where he had folded his arms on top of his desk. He couldn’t stop thinking about Michael, of course. He really didn’t understand what was wrong. He had thought that he had made his intentions pretty clear from the beginning. He had never been the best at flirting, sure, but he wasn’t awkward, either. He smiled, and he complimented Michael, and he listened when he talked, and told jokes to get him to laugh. He had thought maybe Michael liked it and was flirting too. Michael smiled back, and looked at him like he was the only person in the world. They had had a moment, back when Michael met Caroline. He had touched Michael’s hands, and Michael had been blushing, and there had been an undeniable energy between them. At least, Mika had thought so.
But his face when Mika asked about his dating life told a different story. He looked scared. Like Mika was bringing up the one topic that he really didn’t want to talk about. Then the lights came on and Michael had immediately jumped up and disappeared for a second so he wouldn’t have to answer. And Mika hadn’t even asked him out yet, he had just brought up the topic of dating. Did he make him so uncomfortable that Michael didn’t even want to talk about dating with him? He thought that Michael had been… Well, apparently he was wrong.
Embarrassingly, he could feel his eyes welling up with tears. He pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes until he saw stars and refused to cry.
“What’s wrong with you?” Someone said behind him, in Finnish. Mika jumped slightly, and turned and saw JJ standing in his doorway. He must’ve forgotten to close his door again.
“Nothing.” He said, quickly turning back around. He really didn’t need to deal with JJ as well as his pathetic love life. “I’m fine.”
“Are you crying?” JJ sneered.
“Fuck off.” Mika snapped. He rubbed at his face; his fingers came back wet.
“What happened?” JJ came into his room and sat on the edge of his bed. Asshole. But Mika knew JJ was stubborn enough to demand an answer when he wanted one.
As a rule, he and JJ didn’t get along. They hadn’t for some time. They used to be friends, but the stress of moving to England together and going to the same university and having the same sponsor tore them apart. They were both too dissimilar in ways that mattered, but the same in ways that didn’t. If Mika was being honest, their friendship had started deteriorating before they had even set foot in England, but he didn’t like to think about that.
“It was a boy.” Mika grumbled. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Who was it? Michael?”
Mika sighed. JJ had been teasing him about Michael since he caught Mika staring at his arms in the mailroom. Mika tried to justify it, by saying that Michael just had really nice arms and he was just being appreciative, but it didn’t work. He’d never been a good liar anyway.
“Yeah.” He answered morosely. He was still facing his window, so he couldn’t see what face JJ made, but he heard him sigh.
“What happened?” JJ repeated, but he sounded more serious this time.
“I asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he panicked and wouldn’t answer.”
“Wait, that’s it?”
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me. It was like he was scared of the conversation. Obviously he doesn’t want to talk about dating with me because he does not want to date me.”
He felt a few more tears fall down his cheeks. He wiped them away furiously. Admitting everything, not only out loud but in his native language, made it all hurt a little bit more. He knew he was a little strange, and he didn’t talk very much, and he was constantly forgetting things, but he had really thought Michael liked him too. He must’ve just been reading too much into it. Michael probably liked him as a friend, or maybe just as a weird neighbor who he could laugh at. He probably only wanted to date someone who also spoke German. He probably was already dating someone who spoke German, and that’s why-
“Do… Do you want me to talk to him?”
Mika chuckled, surprised, and finally turned around to look at JJ. He looked a little awkward, but he was serious. Mika couldn’t imagine what kind of talking-to he would give poor Michael.
“No, that’s okay.”
“Are you sure? You’re sitting here crying over him.”
As a rule, they didn’t get along. They hadn’t for some time. But sometimes flashes of their previous friendship came through, little hints that they had once cared for each other. And maybe, deep down, they still did.
“You don’t have to. I do like spending time with him, and I don’t want him to think he can’t talk to me.”
“Hm. Okay.” JJ stood, and awkwardly patted him on the shoulder. Mika still felt a rush of relief and affection that he hadn’t felt toward JJ in a long time.
“Thank you, Jyrki.” He said softly, and he actually meant it.
JJ nodded and quickly left.
Michael heard arguing as soon as the elevator doors opened. At first, he thought it was Ayrton and Alain again, but as he got closer to the lobby he realized he didn’t recognize the voices. They were arguing about the canopy outside the front entrance; one of them hated it, the other thought it was fine. From the tones of their voices, they didn’t like each other either. Unfortunately, Michael walked right into the argument again.
“Michael!” One of them called. It was James Hunt, the building manager. He was a tall, older British man, with shoulder length blond hair and an easy grin. David had mentioned to him once, while they shared an elevator, that James was a serial flirt, but that no one ever heard of any girlfriends or boyfriends. He had been nice enough when Michael moved in; he had even admitted that although rent was due on the first of the month, he never checked the check dropbox until the third or the fourth. “Michael, come here and settle this.”
Reluctantly, Michael walked over. The other man was smaller, with somewhat of an overbite and serious eyes, and what looked like burn scars on one side of his head that were so severe most of his ear was missing. He was wearing a hat, so Michael couldn’t see how far the scarring reached.
“This is Niki, he owns the building.” James said, waving his hand dismissively at Niki’s chest. “We want to know what you think of the canopy?”
Both men looked at him expectantly; Michael tried not to shrink under their gaze.
“Um.” He muttered. “It… It is a little old.”
“But it still works.” James insisted.
“Until it doesn’t.” Niki retorted. He had a distinctly German accent that made Michael’s metaphorical ears perk up. “If it is old then it is more likely to break.”
“But it just stormed and it didn’t break then.”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t soon. Winter is coming, and we will have more storms. That,” Niki waved his hand towards the front door empathetically. “Will not hold up.”
“How would you know? You’re never even here.”
“And you are?”
“Um, sorry.” Michael interrupted before they could continue. They both looked at him like they had forgotten he was there. “I’m late to class, so.”
He wasn’t. He just did not want to listen to them argue.
“Sorry about that.” James smiled easily. “Go right ahead.”
Michael was about to step around them when Niki spoke up in German:
“I can have a German copy of the lease sent to you, Michael. If that would help.”
“I.. Thank you! It would help, actually.” Michael replied. “How did you-?”
“I was talking to Mika earlier. He mentioned something about how no one understands the lease.” Niki said. His expression didn’t change much, but there was a humorous twinkle in his eyes.
“Thank you.” Michael said, blushing, and quickly darted out.
“There you go again, speaking German to cut me out.” James complained behind him. Niki scoffed in response.
“Well, maybe if you spoke German then I wouldn’t-”
Michael left the building before he could hear any more.
Notes:
Somewhat of a filler chapter, I know 😞
I just really wanted to introduce James and Niki, my favorite old old men.
Chapter 8
Notes:
It’s been a minute, I know. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten! I’ve just been busy. I hope everyone had a good holiday!
Also, please note that all my understanding of the universities comes from America. I am basically assuming that British universities work the same way in general. (Which isn’t great, I know)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Michael glanced to the back of the auditorium when one of the doors opened, and someone stepped inside. It was Ayrton; Michael was close enough to see him clearly, despite the dim lighting. Up at the podium, Alain didn’t even pause in his talking from up in the front of the auditorium, where he was giving a seminar on engineering principles. Michael was attending even though it was a little too advanced for him. He knew the general concepts but he wasn’t quite following along with most of the material. He was only there to say he had come if Alain asked. The seminar was probably mainly for graduate students anyway; Alain mainly worked with a research lab of graduate students and undergrads who wanted to get into the graduate program. But Alain was a well-known and well-liked professor, who was very good at lecturing, so the auditorium was packed. Ayrton probably couldn’t even sit down because no seats were available. He stayed standing near the back, watching Alain with a fond look as he pulled the microphone closer to his face.
“Do you need help reaching, professor?” Someone called out from the audience. Everyone chuckled; Alain’s head shot up and he pointed in the general direction of the voice.
“Oh! There will be no heckling during my lecture!” He called; he was grinning though. “Not if you want to stay in my lab. If you wish to be kicked out, heckle away.”
The audience laughed again. Michael glanced over, and saw Ayrton smiling as well. He was watching Alain with a soft, fond look that Michael could practically feel. He had been wondering what Ayrton was doing there; he wasn’t a student, and he didn’t work for the university. If Michael remembered right, he was a mechanic at a shop a few blocks away. But the look on his face told Michael all he needed to know. Alain kept lecturing, and Ayrton leaned against the wall to listen, with the same fond stare.
Alain finished up his lecture twenty minutes later. Michael began to pack up his things, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Ayrton make his way to the front of the auditorium. Alain lit up when he saw him; he ignored the few students who had come up to ask questions and spoke to Ayrton first. They seemed to banter for a bit, but neither man looked upset. If anything, they were both enjoying it.
Interesting.
Michael walked into the lobby and shook himself. It was pouring outside, and it was windy, so his umbrella had broken halfway back to his apartment, because of course it had. He was just glad that he was wearing rain boots. Glancing outside, he saw that the rain was pouring so intensely it was actually blurry, like the windows were poor-quality televisions. Someone sighed next to him, and Michael looked over and saw Ayrton. He had a raincoat on, and car keys in his hand, but he was obviously unprepared for the rain.
“It picked up quickly.” Michael said, gesturing outside.
“It did! And Alain wants me to get dinner in this?” Ayrton scowled.
“Why doesn’t he make something?”
“Oh, he is too…” Ayrton made a face, and waved his hand around. “French. If he cannot cook properly, then he cannot cook at all, and he is too busy grading papers to cook properly, so I have to go get dinner.”
“I see.” Michael chuckled. “Why don’t you cook?”
Ayrton sighed loudly.
“I do not want to.” He admitted. “And, of course, my cooking is never good enough for Alain unless he is supervising.”
“Of course.”
“Mhm.”
“How long have you been together?” Michael asked. Ayrton frowned at him in confusion. “Dating?”
“Dating?” Ayrton repeated, eyes widening. His cheeks were turning pink. “Me and Alain?”
“Yes?” Michael hesitated. “I’m sorry. Are you not dating?”
“No! We are not dating.” Ayrton huffed. He adjusted his coat forcefully, but he just seemed flustered. Michael tried to hide his grin. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“You two just seemed close, is all.” Michael said. He didn’t say anything about the way he looked at Alain during his seminar, or the fact that he was going out in a rainstorm to get dinner for Alain. Ayrton’s cheeks were getting darker.
“Well. We are not.” He insisted, and walked out the door.
Very interesting.
It was sunny outside, and Mika was only wearing a shirt.
He had pants on too, obviously, but it was still November outside, and there was a breeze in the air that made it cold enough to warrant a jacket. But Mika didn’t seem to care. He was talking to a couple other students, who must have been his coworkers, and helping them take down old posters and put up new ones on the side of the international building. He hadn’t so much as shivered since Michael had noticed him. The others congregated around him, smiling and laughing with him while they worked, like he was someone special. Michael could understand; Mika was magnetic.
“Michael! Fancy seeing you here.” Someone said. Michael tore his gaze away from the window and looked up to see David standing over his table. They were in the library, and Michael was sitting at one of the round tables with his stuff spread out.
“David!” He smiled. “Sit.”
“I only have a moment.” He said as he sat down heavily in one of the chairs. “What’s up? Have you started that essay yet?”
They were in different majors, him in engineering and David in communications, but they were both taking a technical writing class together. Last week they had been given an essay to write, but it wasn’t due until the end of the semester.
“Yeah.” Michael lied. “I’m almost done with it.”
“Almost done?” David repeated incredulously. “We only just got it!”
Michael shrugged quietly. In truth, he hadn’t even touched the essay yet. But he liked having people think he was farther along in his work than he was. It made them respect him more, although someone once told him that he was just competitive. Maybe they were right.
“You’re crazy.” David chuckled. Michael grinned, but found himself glancing back at Mika. David followed his gaze, and smirked to himself. “You should go talk to him.”
“What? Who?” Michael sputtered, instantly turning red.
“Mika. He’s a nice kid, doesn’t make friends very easily though.” David said, shrugging. (He knew both of those things were wrong. Mika was older than him, and literally everyone liked him.)
“We are friends.” Michael protested weakly. He was silently praying his face wasn’t bright red. The last thing he needed was David knowing he had a crush on a taken man.
“Uh-huh.” David grinned. “Well, I have to go. If you talk to him, say hi to Mika for me.”
“Sure. Bye.” Michael said weakly. David got up and left, as quickly as he had come. Michael turned back to the window and sighed. Maybe David was right? He couldn’t avoid Mika forever. His coworkers had left, and Mika was putting up one last poster alone. If there was a perfect time…
Before Michael knew what he was doing, he was packing his things away and leaving the library. He hadn’t gotten much done, but he would much rather talk to Mika than do school work. Walking the short distance to the international building, Michael saw that Mika was about to head back inside, so he picked up his pace.
“Mika!” He called out. Mika turned, blinking in the sun, and gave him a lopsided grin. Michael felt his heart do a weird, fluttery thing in his chest. God, he was in serious trouble.
“Michael! How are you? What are you doing here?”
“I was just walking past.” Michael shrugged, trying for casual. “I thought I would say hi. Especially because I have news.”
“News?” Mika gathered up the old, folded posters and held them against his chest. It showed off his biceps.
“I spoke to Ayrton last week.” He said, leaning against the wall with one shoulder. “About Alain.”
“Oh?” Mika’s eyebrows shot up. He leaned forward. “And?”
“Apparently they aren’t dating.” Michael said, and Mika’s eyes widened. “But Ayrton did start blushing when I asked him.”
“Did he?” Mika giggled. Michael felt his grin get wider.
“And the other day, I saw Ayrton come to Alain’s seminar.”
“Why? He is not a student…?”
“Well.” Michael looked around, making a show of it. “I saw the way Ayrton was looking at him. And they started talking after, and they both looked…”
Michael trailed off, but Mika understood. He nodded slowly, and leaned against the wall, mimicking Michael. His hair fluttered over his forehead as he moved; Michael wanted to reach out and touch it so bad he had to ball his hands into fists.
“I see. I didn’t realize they were so…”
“Hopeless?” Michael offered. He knew the feeling.
“Yes!” Mika smiled at him. “I thought they were smarter than that.”
It almost felt like there was a second conversation happening between them, but Michael wasn’t adept enough to understand it. He just shrugged at Mika and grinned, and tried not to look hopeless himself.
Notes:
Hopefully this chapter is long enough to make up for how late it was! (It’s not long at all, I know).
I just really enjoy Alain and Ayrton being stupid and hopeless, and Mika and Michael also being stupid and hopeless but they don’t live together.
Chapter 9
Notes:
I’ve been meaning to say something but I should mention I am a serial editor. I will edit my chapter days after I published it (only a little! It’s never anything major). So if anyone wants to reread….
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Mika!” Ayrton’s voice came through the phone. “Come shopping with me.”
Mika grinned. Ayrton wasn’t one to take ‘no’ for an answer, and he sounded extra stubborn now. It was also no secret that he was Ayrtons favorite out of all the younger tennants, so he was always dragging Mika to do things with him. He didn’t mind it; Ayrton was one of his favorites too.
“Alright. When are we going?” He said.
“Now.” Ayrton said firmly. Mika blinked in surprise. He usually gave more warning than this. “Meet me downstairs.”
Before Mika could respond, Ayrton hung up. That wasn’t… Entirely unusual. Ayrton was somewhat short with people sometimes, saying things and expecting everyone to move on as quickly as him. He wasn’t trying to be rude, even though sometimes he came off that way. But this felt different, somehow. More urgent.
Mika hung the phone up and rushed to get ready.
Ayrton was silent, meeting him in the lobby, and while getting in the car. It took three blocks before he spoke: “What do you think of Michael?”
“My neighbor?” Mika asked. Ayrton nodded, not looking at him. He paused, thinking. He thought a lot about Michael. “He is nice.”
“Is he?”
“Yes.”
“He said something strange to me the other day.” Ayrton said. Mika was silent, knowing he would continue. “He accused me of dating Alain.”
Oh. So that’s what this is about.
“Accused?”
“He..” Ayrton waved one of his hands around, frustrated. “He asked how long we had been dating. Is that not ridiculous?”
They stopped at a red light, and Ayrton looked at him. Mika looked back silently, trying to figure out what to say. There must have been something on his face, because Ayrton’s mouth turned down in displeasure.
“What?” He insisted, voice rising. “Why would anyone think that?”
“I also thought you were dating.” Mika admitted. Ayrton scoffed.
“Why? I do not even like Alain.”
Mika hummed wordlessly. The light turned green, and Ayrton sped off to get on the motorway. Mika raised an eyebrow. So they weren’t going to the store. That was alright, though. Ayrton loved to drive, and he sometimes invited Mika along to talk. He wasn’t sure why; Ayrton always did most of the talking. But he definitely wasn’t complaining. Ayrton had a nice car, and he usually bought Mika lunch or something when they went out.
“We only live together. I don’t… Ugh.” Ayrton snapped something in Portuguese. They drove in more silence for a bit; Mika couldn’t tell where they were going. It was somewhat grey outside, but it wasn’t raining, and there weren’t that many cars on the road.
“You spend a lot of time with him.” Mika supplied after a few minutes. Ayrton snorted.
“That does not mean anything. You spend a lot of time with JJ.”
“I do not like JJ as much as you like Alain.”
“I…” Ayrton sighed, and sped up. Mika wasn’t worried; Ayrton was one of the best drivers he knew. “I don’t… I don’t dislike him.”
“Mm?”
“We live together. That means that sometimes we eat together. And sometimes we shop for food together.”
“I don’t shop with JJ.” Mika said.
“No? You do not go shopping for groceries together? How do you know what to make for the dinners?”
Mika stared at him.
“JJ and I also do not cook or eat together.”
“You don’t?”
Mika made a noise of disagreement. They drove in silence again. Ayrton was tapping on the steering wheel erratically, clearly lost in thought. Mika looked out the window. He had no idea how everyone thought Alain and Ayrton were together when they weren’t. They certainly acted like they were. It was a good thing Michael asked; he was lucky enough to be new and get away with not knowing. He was charming enough to get away with it, too. Michael was very charming and nice. His big smile and sweet curls could probably help him get away with anything if he wanted. He had big, puppy-like eyes, too; pale blue, sometimes grey. And he was very kind. He had let Mika stay with him during the blackout, and he didn’t complain when Mika brought Caroline with him, and he even hand-delivered his mail when it was in the wrong mailbox. He was probably the kind of man who would hold Mika’s heavy textbook for him on the way to class. He could just picture it, like one of those old cheesy romance movies that Samantha sometimes made him watch with her (he enjoyed them too, although he would take that to his grave). He would be walking down a hallway on campus and run into Michael, they would be going the same direction, Michael would offer to carry his textbook ‘because it looks so heavy’, and Mika would get to walk textbook-free and stare at Michael’s biceps. And maybe, if he flirted and touched Michael’s arm, he would get to see Michael blush at him again.
“I do like Alain. I suppose.” Ayrton said suddenly, interrupting Mika’s thoughts. Mika glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes.
“Mm.” Mika hummed. He didn’t want to say ‘I know’, even though he did know. That would scare Ayrton out of whatever realization he was having. But the whole reason he had thought they might be dating was because of how often Ayrton looked like he was about to kiss Alain. When they weren’t arguing, they both looked at each other so fondly. He thought it was sweet.
“We do spend a lot of time together.” Ayrton continued. “I have never thought about it.”
Mika nodded, silent.
“He is just so… French.”
“At least he is not Argentinian.” Mika offered. Ayrton’s eyebrows raised slightly, and he nodded.
“He is not.” He agreed. “But he is French. And he is so picky. And annoying. And he argues, constantly.”
“You argue back, though.”
“That does not matter.” Ayrton snapped. “He argues, and he has annoying habits, and he is short.”
Mika bit back the argument that Ayrton wasn’t very tall either.
“No, no, I do not like him.” Ayrton continued. Around them, the traffic was slowing down. One of the lanes was merging. “He is so stubborn.”
Mika bit back another comment. Ayrton needed to figure it out for himself.
“Just the other day, I went to his office, and he made me wait while he took a phone call! And yet he never answers my calls!”
“His office?” Mika repeated. “On campus?”
“Yes.”
“Ayrton.”
The cars in front of them stopped, so they did too. It gave Ayrton the perfect opportunity to look over and see Mika’s incredulous expression. He hiked his shoulders up defensively.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you call him instead?”
“I already said, he never answers his office phone. Although apparently he does.”
“Isn’t your work far away from the university?”
“Not too far.” Ayrton huffed. Mika knew for a fact that the mechanic shop he worked at was at least a twenty minute walk from the university. His cheeks were turning red, and he focused back on the road as traffic started to move again. “I wanted to ask about dinner.”
“Dinner.” Mika repeated dully.
“What?”
“You walked to campus to ask about dinner?”
“He said he would cook dinner, so I wanted to know what he was going to make.”
Mika sighed. He had had no idea how bad Ayrton was. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t have come. At least he knew he had feelings for Michael. Then again, Michael obviously didn’t like him back. It was painfully obvious that Alain did like Ayrton back. They were always together, annd anp they even shopped for food together, and if what Michael said was true, then Alain had been all too happy to see Ayrton at his seminar. It was like some sort of ironic twist of fate, that he could acknowledge his own feelings, but for them to be unreciprocated, but Ayrton couldn’t acknowledge his own, reciprocated, feelings.
“And it is not… I know he is not ugly, either.”
Oh no. Mika thought, his eyes widening in horror.
“He is good-looking, for a Frenchman. He has nice eyes, I suppose. And hair. He is...”
If I open the door and jump out, will that kill me? Are we going fast enough?
“Ele é muito lindo.” Ayrton muttered. Mika risked looking over at him. His hand was wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, and his other hand was tangled in his hair. His face was flushed. He caught Mika looking at him, and immediately and visibly forced himself to relax.
“I do not want to talk about Alain any more.” He said sharply.
“Alright.”
“Tell me about your life instead. Are there any boys, Mika?”
Mika sighed, and hesitated to answer, but his silence must have been answer enough.
“Oh, tell me. Is he Finnish? English? Is he a student also?”
“I…” Mika brushed his hair out of his eyes. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed about having a crush on Michael; he knew Ayrton wouldn’t tease him or anything. But it was embarrassing to be all but turned down by a cute boy who happens to be your neighbor. He really should have thought of that more before he tried to ask Michael out. In his own home, no less. “I wanted to ask Michael on a date.”
“Oh?” Ayrton’s eyebrows shot up. “You wanted to? Do you no longer?”
“Well, I tried to ask him, but he just… Ran away, almost. Like he couldn’t talk to me. So I will not try again.”
“Oh, poor Mika!” Ayrton said, patting his shoulder, but it wasn’t mocking or demeaning. If it was anyone else, it probably would have been. “I will kill him for you.”
That startled a laugh out of him. The idea of Ayrton, who wasn’t very tall and was quite slim, trying to kill Michael, who was taller and athletic, was so amusing. The best part was that Ayrton probably could, if he really wanted to. He was crazy, a little bit.
“Please do not.” He said, still chuckling. “I still like him. And how will you kiss Alain if you are in prison?”
Ayrton made a loud, frustrated sound, and Mika giggled.
“I will never invite you with me again!”
“Yes you will.”
Ayrton grumbled something in Portuguese, but he didn’t argue further. Mika grinned to himself, and slouched in his seat to brace his knees up against the dashboard. He was definitely the favorite.
“How about some lunch?” Ayrton offered in an abrupt change of subject. “You’re buying.”
“You will make me pay? I am a student!”
“Did you forget your wallet again?”
“Yes.” Mika admitted, shrugging. Ayrton sighed loudly and rolled his eyes.
“Fine. I will buy.”
“Thank you Ayrton.” Mika said sweetly. The other man hummed, and they lapsed into silence once more.
Notes:
Ele é muito lindo - He is very beautiful.
Also I am pushing my BabyGirl!Mika agenda shamelessly.
Chapter Text
Late in the evening, Michael came back to his apartment from the grocery store to see Mika knocking on his door. His head was hanging low, so Michael couldn’t see his face, but he was only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and some socks. His shoulders looked stiff, and his free hand was shoved deep into his pocket. Michael paused briefly, just to wonder if he looked presentable, and maybe to admire the way Mika filled out his sweatpants from behind. Just a little.
“Hey, Mika.” Michael greeted, causing Mika to jump slightly. He turned, and Michael’s heart clenched. His face was clear, but his eyes were puffy and slightly red, as if he had been crying. “Oh, what’s wrong?”
“I-I’m sorry.” Mika stammered. He seemed unsure of himself suddenly, which was new. His accent seemed thicker too. “I should not have come to bother you.”
“Mika, did something happen?” Michael asked, worry growing in his stomach.
“It is nothing serious. JJ and I- we had a fight.” Mika shoved both of his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I did not want to be alone.”
“Well, you’re welcome to join me. Hold this?” Michael handed him one of his grocery bags. Mika took it eagerly, seeming almost relieved to have something to do with his hands. Michael let them both in, and led Mika into his kitchen, where he started putting away his food. Mika stood awkwardly again, out of the way and his hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched. Michael felt a stab of pity in his chest. Fights with boyfriends sucked, even if he thought there was something else Mika wasn’t saying. Or maybe the fight was bigger than Mika was letting on. It had to have been, to make him cry. Michael would never hope for the downfall of someone else’s relationship, no matter how cute Mika was. But… he also wouldn’t be too upset about it, either.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Michael asked softly.
“No.” Mika said after a moment of thought. He was still looking down, but when he ran a hand through his hair, Michael saw a small smile. “It was nothing serious.”
“Did you eat?” Michael asked, to change the subject. “I am going to make some dinner.”
“You do not have to make anything for me-” Mika protested, but Michael waved him off.
“What kind of, of host would I be, hm?” He grinned at him. Mika grinned back, small and crooked and lovely, and took a seat at the kitchen table.
While he worked, Michael talked. He told Mika how empty it had been at the store, which had been really weird, and how crowded it had been at the library earlier in the day. It wasn’t that he didn’t like crowds, he really didn’t mind, but he needed to print an essay, and there hadn’t been any printers available. He told Mika about his phone call with his brother Ralf, who said he had a girlfriend, and how surprised Michael had been, because he had been almost positive Ralf was into men. Like him, he added, in case Mika didn’t know.
He was aware he was rambling. He knew he had a habit of talking a lot, but Mika was a good listener.
By the time he finished going on about how his mother kept asking him how many vegetables he was eating, the food was done. He served up plates for himself and Mika, and brought them over to the couch. Mika followed dutifully, and sat down next to Michael quietly.
“My parents would be upset with me for eating on the couch.” Michael said, handing Mika his plate. “So you cannot tell them.”
“I am not a very good liar.” Mika admitted. His eyes were lit up with humor, and didn’t look so red anymore. “But I will do my best.”
They ate in companionable silence after that. Michael had turned on an old action movie, that he wasn’t really paying attention to but could vaguely follow along with. Mika was sitting a respectable distance away, eating quietly, and Michael couldn’t help but think that this is what it would be like. If Mika was his boyfriend, he could come over in the evenings, and Michael would cook them dinner, and they could talk about their day and watch tv together. They’d probably get distracted and burn the food one too many times because they were busy making out. Or… doing other things.
Michael slid his plate onto the coffee table once he finished eating. Mika, who ate slower, followed his lead a few minutes later, and curled up in the corner of the couch. He looked so comfortable. Michael mimicked his position, but stretched his legs out to lightly kick Mika’s calves. He chuckled, but gasped when he grabbed Michael’s ankle.
“Cold!” He muttered. “You are so cold, no?”
Michael shrugged. He still had his jeans and socks on, so he didn’t feel very cold, but Mika’s hand was still warm against his skin. Mika grabbed his only throw blanket and tossed it over their legs, and patted it down, so Michael’s legs were tucked in.
“My hero.” Michael crooned, smiling. Mika giggled. “I would have frozen to death without you.”
“You Germans must not be used to the cold.”
“Hey! It gets cold in Germany.”
“Not as cold as here.”
“Of course it does, it snows in Germany.”
“Not as cold as Finland, then.”
“No.” Michael relented. “Probably not. Is it very snowy in Finland?”
“Hm.” Mika hummed, and leaned back. He didn’t speak for a moment, and Michael almost thought he was done with the conversation, before he said: “It snows every year. In some places, the snow is… The snow stays all year. In the north they go weeks without sunlight in the winter.”
“Really? Is that where you’re from?”
“No, no.” Mika chuckled. “I am from Vantaa, in the south.”
“Is it pretty there?”
“Hm.” Mika hummed again, and shrugged. “It is okay. There are prettier places.”
“In Hürth, where I am from,” Michael said. “There are lakes, and the Rhine is nearby, so every summer we go swimming.”
“That’s nice. I have never been to Germany.”
“I will take you one day. And then you will have to take me to Finland.”
“I will take you to a sauna. A real one.” Mika’s eyes were dancing with mischief. “And then throw you into the snow.”
“What? You would do that to me?” Michael asked, pretending to be offended but he could hear his own laughter in his voice.
“It is what you do after a sauna. You cannot disrespect my culture, Michael.”
They laughed, and talked some more about their hometowns, and the conversation inevitably turned to their families. Michael told him some more about Ralf, and Mika told him about his sister Nina and how she supported his move to England, while his parents thought it was reckless. He admitted it was reckless, because he only knew JJ and his English wasn’t very good. Michael admitted his move had also been somewhat reckless, because he knew English, but he didn’t know anyone in England and he made the decision without talking to anyone else about it. This led to them trading childhood memories of the stupid, reckless things they used to do.
“Thank you, Michael.” Mika said once the movie credits were rolling. He was smiling at him gently.
“It’s no trouble at all.”
Mika bumped their shoulders together.
“You are good company.”
Michael gave him a smile of his own. They just smiled at each other for a moment, examining each other's faces, before something flickered in Mika’s eyes. It was brief, gone before Michael could figure out what it was, and then Mika was pushing the blanket off and standing up. He held his plate awkwardly, unsure of where to put it, and he turned slightly to look down at Michael. The light from his lamp at the side of the couch cast Mika’s pale skin in warmth, and the light from the other lamp, his tall one across the room, was shining on the back of his head, making him look like he was an angel in a renaissance painting. Michael couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment.
“Kitchen.” He stammered, shaking himself out of it. Mika was beautiful, sure, but they were just friends. “You can, um, put it in the kitchen.”
Mika took his plate, and Michael’s too, and left to put them in the kitchen. Michael stood, internally debating on if he wanted Mika to stay or not. Another movie, probably the sequel, was starting on the tv, but Mika had already been over for almost two hours. Maybe that was too long?
“I should go.” Mika said, walking back in. Michael nodded, and walked him to the door.
“I’m sure JJ is wondering where you are.”
“I do not care what JJ thinks.” Mika rolled his eyes, and Michael grinned in amusement.
“No?”
“No.” Mika blinked at him. “Are you busy tomorrow?”
“Ah, no.” Tomorrow was a Saturday, so Michael’s only plans had been to sleep in and maybe do some cleaning.
“I am taking Samantha to the zoo. You should come!”
“Really? I haven’t been to a zoo in years.”
“I told her if she did well on her report then I would take her to see the tortoises in the zoo.” Mika shrugged, but there was a fond look on his face. “She said she got the highest grade in the class, but I do not believe her. I will take her anyway.”
If JJ didn’t marry that man, Michael would.
“Alright. Sure, that sounds fun.”
Notes:
Sorry for the late update everyone. My mental health hasn’t been too great lately, and on top of that work got really busy, which meant I can’t sit in my office and write fanfiction and I have to do my job :(
Come bother me on Tumblr! I promise I’m more active there.
Chapter Text
“Oh, cool.” Samantha breathed, standing on her tiptoes and resting her chin on the railing. Michael had to agree. The tortoise in the enclosure was massive, easily the size of a big dog. He was slowly making his way over to a black bowl, that must’ve contained some kind of food. Michael looked over at the others, and saw Mika looking at the tortoise fondly. He had his chin propped up in his palm, elbow on the railing, and strands of his hair falling over his forehead. It was a cloudy day, but the sun was peeking out just enough to make his pale blond hair glow.
Mika suddenly glanced over at him, but when he caught Michael already looking, he quickly turned back around and ducked his head shyly. It could’ve been his imagination, but Michael could’ve sworn he saw a blush on his cheeks.
Maybe he was reading everything wrong? Sure, Mika and JJ were close, but maybe they weren’t actually dating? Or maybe they weren’t exclusive?
Or, of course, maybe he was only seeing what he wanted to see.
“I wanna see the tiger.” Samantha announced after only a minute of looking at the tortoise. Mika rolled his eyes.
“I thought you wanted to see the tortoise?”
“He’s not as cool as Caroline.” Samantha shrugged. “I can’t even feed him.”
“You’re right.” Mika nodded after a moment and stood up straight. “Caroline is cooler. Let’s find the tiger.”
Michael and the others followed, to make room for others in front of the enclosure. That morning, Mika had regretfully told Michael that Samantha had invited JJ before he could say anything, and JJ had agreed. David and Johnny had also been invited by Samantha, who apparently wasn’t shy at all and had knocked on their doors to ask them. So it had turned into a trip for their whole floor, organized by a ten year old.
Michael had been a little disappointed. Spending time alone with Mika, in a way that wouldn’t have been a date and wouldn’t have really been time alone, would have been nice. But he liked David and Johnny, so he did his best not to be upset.
When they left the enclosure, he ended up walking behind Mika and Samantha with David and JJ. Somehow, due to the crowds, he ended up walking next to JJ. He wasn’t… It wasn’t like he was trying to avoid JJ. They did live across from each other. They had said hi in passing, and Michael had seen him in the lobby a few times, but he didn’t feel a need to get to know him. He already had a crush on the man’s boyfriend. He had a feeling if he was any closer to JJ, he would figure it out eventually. Worse, Michael might start comparing himself to JJ and trying to figure out what it was Mika liked about him. Was it his hair? Was he good in bed? Maybe he was a secret romantic.
He really needed to let it go. His crush on Mika couldn’t ruin his relationship with his neighbors.
But every time he thought he did, Mika smiled at him, or giggled, or existed with his fluffy blond hair and pretty eyes, and Michael’s crush got a little stronger.
“I don’t believe it.” JJ suddenly said, loud enough to get both Michael and David’s attention. They both turned and stopped when they noticed he had as well. He was pointing to a gorilla in the nearby enclosure. “David, I found your twin!”
“Hey!” David exclaimed, but Michael hid a laugh behind his hand. “Don’t be a dick.”
“I don’t know.” Michael shrugged. “There is something in the jawline...”
David punched him in the arm, and JJ cackled. David was grinning though, and quickly swung his arm around to point at another gorilla that was eating some sort of fruit.
“Well, that one looks just like you, JJ.”
“Now you’re just saying that because I-”
“It’s in the teeth.”
“Oh, fuck off.” JJ rolled his eyes, and glanced at Michael. He suddenly pointed to something off in the distance. “That one looks like Michael.”
Michael followed his hand, and saw he was pointing to the next enclosure over, where a baboon was sitting in a tree facing away from them. His mouth fell open, but both JJ and David laughed.
“Hey! At least gorillas kind of look like people.” He protested. “Are you saying I look like a baboon's ass?”
“Yes.” JJ said easily. The three of them laughed at that, and started walking again to find Mika and Johnny and Samantha. They pointed out some more animals, especially the funny looking ones, until Samantha found them.
“JJ.” Samantha hissed. Both Michael and David looked away from the lemurs to see her staring up at JJ seriously. “I have to ask you something.”
“What is it?” JJ asked, frowning.
“Can we get some ice cream?” Samantha asked sweetly, making her eyes big and wide.
“What did Mika say?” JJ sighed.
“I didn’t ask him, I’m asking you.”
“Uh-huh. Because I have my wallet.”
“No.” Samantha smiled up at him, but she was shyly playing with the hem of her shirt. “Because Mika would say no.”
Michael laughed, and turned away to hide his smile when JJ gave him a somewhat disapproving look. He was clearly fighting a grin too, so it wasn’t very effective.
“Then why should I say yes?” JJ asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Because Mika is the one who has to watch me and not you.”
“Oh, so I won’t have to deal with the sugar high.” JJ hummed. He seemed to consider it for a moment, looking at the back of Mika’s head where he was talking to Johnny only a little in the distance, before looking back down at Samantha. “Done. But if Mika asks, it was Michael’s idea.”
“Hey!” Michael protested. Samantha was giggling loudly, and JJ gave him a sharp, teasing look and a small, shark-like grin. “If Samantha gets some ice cream, then I do too.”
“Well aren’t you something.” Someone said. An older woman was standing next to their table, looking down at Samantha. They were sitting outside the small snack bar, Samantha and Michael and David all with their ice cream. Mika had sighed when he saw Samantha with her treat, but he kept stealing bites from it anyway. “Your hair is very interesting.”
“Thank you.” Samantha mumbled. It was the most shy Michael had ever seen her. The woman looked at Mika as he stole Samantha’s ice cream again, her expression tightening slightly and becoming sly.
“It must have been your fathers turn to get you dressed, hm?” She asked pointedly. Everyone at the table looked at Mika, who almost definitely wasn’t old enough to have a child as old as Samantha. He didn’t seem nearly as embarrassed as Michael would have been. Mika lifted his head, and slowly looked between Samantha and the woman.
“Oh, no.” He said after a long pause. “She is not mine. I found her at the shop.”
“What?” The woman gasped, taken off guard.
“The shop? Right over there.” Mika pointed to the gift shop across the walkway. “They sell children in the back.”
“He said if I didn’t scream then I could have some ice cream.” Samantha added. She still had chocolate sauce on her face. The woman clutched at her chest, horrified, and walked away. They all waited a beat, until she was out of earshot, and then they started laughing. Mika and David, who was on her other side, patted Samantha on the back. She beamed up at them both, pleased.
“Kid, that was perfect.” David said. “But I have a feeling we should get outta here though.”
“Probably.” Mika nodded, and they all stood. Samantha took her cone back from Mika and happily started licking it again, as if nothing had happened. They made their way over past the flamingos, where Samantha loudly asked why they were pink, and Mika patiently explained that it was because of what they ate. When they walked past the parrots, she asked if they could really talk or if they were just mimicking humans, and Mika explained that it was a bit of both. At the eagle sanctuary, Samantha asked why they were so big, and Mika gave her a sideways look (“Because they have to carry big fish to eat” he said anyway). Once they reached the lizard sanctuary, Samantha had finished her ice cream, and was clearly on the beginning of a sugar high. They met back up with JJ and Johnny, who had wandered off while they ate, and were in line to enter the sanctuary.
“Why are we in line?” Samantha asked. Mika sighed, and pulled out a napkin and started wiping her face off.
“Because lizards are sensitive to light, and there are a lot of people here to see them.” He said. Samantha mumbled something, but Michael didn’t catch it. “You can not.”
“Tag!” Samantha suddenly shouted, slapping Mika in the shoulder and dashing away from him, in between Johnny and David. Mika rolled his eyes and glared at JJ. They had a brief, intense conversation in Finnish, and Michael and David exchanged amused looks.
“You’d think they were her parents sometimes.” David muttered, and he tapped Samantha back on the shoulder when she ran past and tagged him. Michael chuckled, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest, and tagged Samantha back. She giggled and reached over to slap him on the arm, so he stepped back out of her reach. She shrieked in laughter, and lunged forward, but Michael shoved David in front of him so she tagged him instead.
“Hey!” David shouted, laughing. Samantha tagged him, but still darted around him to get to Michael. Suddenly, they were engaged in a slapping war, where they tagged each other rapidly on each other's arm.
“You’re it!” Samantha laughed.
“No, you’re it!” Michael shot back, as if it was obvious.
“Uh-oh.” David muttered. Michael let Samantha run away again, and turned to see David nodding in Mika’s direction. “I think someone followed through on his threat.”
“Michael!”
Notes:
I haven’t lived in a big city since I was 2, so I don’t know what people do for fun 😅 I sent them to the zoo because that’s what we do here in the farmland. Also I recently went to Disneyland with my 8 year old cousin, and let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart.
As always, Come bother me on Tumblr!
Chapter 12
Notes:
Sorry if there are any mistakes, I’m posting this literally right before my ten hour flight. I may come back and do some edits later.
UPDATE: I did go through and add some edits 😅
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ayrton paced in his living room. He needed to get out for a drive; the four walls of the living room were stifling. Outside of a mechanics shop, driving his car was the closest he felt to home. England was nothing like his home in São Paulo, but driving through busy streets was a second home to him, even in a foreign country.
Unfortunately, he made the mistake of inviting Mika and agreeing to wait until 12:30, when he would be ready. Ayrton had been awake since seven AM. It wasn’t like he didn’t want Mika to come; he liked having him along to talk with. But he didn’t understand the urgency of the situation, and how desperately Ayrton needed to go.
It was barely noon, but he grabbed his keys and darted out of the door anyway. He made his way down the hallway and down the elevator with no problem, but in the hallway he ran into Niki.
“Hello Ayrton.” Niki said casually. Ayrton groaned. He liked Niki, but he was not in the mood to talk. “How are you?”
“I am alright. Can I ask you something?” Ayrton suddenly said. He surprised himself just as much as Niki. Still, he nodded, and leaned against the wall and motioned for Ayrton to keep talking. “Has anyone ever assumed you were… With someone when you were not?”
“What?” Niki frowned at him. Ayrton sighed, and shifted from foot to foot.
“Someone assumed I was dating A-” He quickly cut himself off. “Someone else, but I am not.”
“So?” Niki’s frown deepened. “It is a simple mistake.”
“But what if you wanted to date that person.” Ayrton asked quickly. He could barely understand himself with how quickly he spoke.
“Are… Are you asking for relationship advice?”
“But has it ever happened to you?” Ayrton insisted, ignoring the fact that he was asking for relationship advice. From Niki Lauda, of all people. Niki and Alain were close, and somewhat similar in that they were practical, straightforward men. Maybe if he had dealt with it, then maybe Ayrton would know what to do about Alain.
“No.” Niki admitted. His face changed, softened, and became almost fond. “My husband is much better looking than me, obviously, so people assume we are not together.”
“Husband?” Ayrton echoed. “You’re married?”
“Yes. You didn’t know?”
“No.” Ayrton admitted. Niki looked surprised, then chuckled.
“Most people are the same. But it is understandable.”
“But-”
“Ayrton. Why is it so upsetting that someone assumed you were dating someone else?”
Niki didn’t put air quotes around “someone else”, but Ayrton heard them anyway. Niki was intelligent, and had known him for almost two years. He probably knew Ayrton was referring to Alain. And now he knew that he wanted to date Alain.
“I…” He didn’t have an answer. Not one that he would feel comfortable telling Niki, at least. Not outloud. How was it that he knew everything? He was barely in the building. Niki raised his eyebrows, and Ayrton checked his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
“Goodbye, Ayrton.” Niki said, and Ayrton could hear the grin in his voice as he quickly walked away.
“Hello!” Mika said as he got in the car, shaking water droplets from his hair. Ayrton just hummed and didn’t say anything. He normally waited for Mika to at least put his seatbelt on, but this time he started driving right as Mika closed the door. He couldn’t sit still any more; he was still thrumming with energy, both from Alain and his encounter with Niki.
He drove towards the freeway, and worked his jaw while he tried to think of how to start. Mika stayed quiet; one of the things he liked about the kid was that he knew when to talk, and when to not. He let Ayrton work through his thoughts, which were often too complicated to speak out loud, nevermind translate into English. He didn’t say anything when Ayrton drove a little too fast into the freeway, despite the rain, and he didn't even reach for the radio.
“So.” Ayrton began slowly. “I have been thinking.”
“Mhm?”
“I… I do like Alain.” He forced out. It had taken him a long time to admit it to himself. He had always wanted a loving, happy relationship for himself, like his parents did, but his feelings for Alain were so complicated. He had refused to admit they were romantic feelings because he didn’t want them to be. He wanted it to be easy, and sweet, but it was anything but. They bickered, and argued, and sometimes he started a fight just to get under Alain’s skin. But when Alain started a fight, the little Frenchman got under his skin so easily. He wasn’t like that with anyone else.
He had spent a lot of time talking to God about it.
“So I was right.” Mika said. Ayrton glanced over, and saw the small smug grin Mika was giving him. “You can say it.”
He was a bit too much like Ayrton himself for his liking, sometimes.
“No.” He snorted. “I will not.”
“But I am.”
“Anyway. I like Alain. But I do not know what to do about it.”
“Tell him?” Mika suggested.
“Tell him?” Ayrton repeated, scoffing. “How should I do that? Watching tv? As we make food? Casually? ‘Oh, Alain, pass the salt, also I may be in love with you’.”
Ayrton felt his shoulders and his heart sink. He’d never said it out loud before. He had only just let himself admit his feelings may be more than just attraction. The rain got louder on the roof of the car, as if agreeing with him.
“Oh, Ayrton.” Mika sighed. “Yes.”
“It is not that easy.” Ayrton managed, weakly.
“Of course it is. If he does not feel the same, you will avoid him for a little, then be just friends again.”
He made it sound so simple. Like it wouldn’t have life altering consequences. Alain meant the world to Ayrton; more than he thought anyone outside of his family could ever mean. They did so much together. If something happened to their relationship, then he didn’t think he could continue as usual, as if nothing had happened.
“I don’t know…”
“Or flirt with him first, you know?”
“I know how to flirt.” Ayrton snapped. With other people, he didn’t say. When it wasn’t Alain, he could make people blush and smile and stammer over their words. He had never had a hard time getting dates or making people attracted to him. But when it was Alain, he found he couldn’t be as charming as he usually was. Just the other day, when Alain had visited him at work, one of Ayrton’s coworkers had made a comment about how his ‘side piece’ was here. Before Ayrton could even open his mouth to defend Alain, he had laughed and insisted that he was definitely the main boyfriend, and winked at Ayrton. For one of the few times in his life, Ayrton had been rendered speechless. He had had to duck under the hood of a car so no one saw how red his face became.
When Ayrfon told Mika about this encounter, Mika just laughed.
“Main boyfriend?” Mika grinned at Ayrton. “He was flirting with you!”
“What?”
“Ayrton. That’s flirting! I will have to remember that.”
“… Do you think so?”
“Yes.” Mika said patiently. “He called himself your main boyfriend. He was flirting. You should flirt back next time.”
The more Ayrton thought about it, the bigger the spark of hope in his chest grew. Maybe Alain really had been flirting with him. Maybe his feelings were reciprocated. Maybe he could make Alain blush next time. He was so pretty when he blushed, Ayrton would love to be the cause of it.
“I should do something for him.” Ayrton muttered, trying to hide his grin.
“He is French. You could make dinner.” Mika suggested. Ayrton wasn’t sure what that had to do with Alain being French, but he ignored it.
“I could.” He was a decent cook, and he could follow directions from a cookbook at the least. Alain was particular about his food, but if Ayrton cooked for him he wouldn’t be rude, and would appreciate it. He wasn’t sure if Alain would take it as a romantic gesture, but it would be something new. Something more thoughtful than usual. Maybe he would make something French? No, no, Brazilian. He was better at Brazilian dishes, and he knew he would never make French food as well as Alain.
“And light candles.” Mika added.
“Candles?”
“To make it more romantic.”
“I don’t know about candles.” Ayrtons grip tightened on the wheel. Mika was stoking the flame of hope in his chest, but he still had doubts. Romantic candles were maybe too much.
“Fine, no candles.” Mika shrugged. “But you should cook.”
“I will.” Ayrton nodded, decidedly. He could flirt, and he could be romantic, and he could make Alain love him as much as he loved Alain. “And you should for Michael.”
“Oh.” The teasing and confidence seemed to melt out of Mika. “I don’t know…”
“Why not? He is a smart boy, and you like him and you are a smart boy, why should he not like you?”
Mika sighed, and stared out of the window at the rain for a minute before responding.
“He is my friend, but I cannot tell if he likes me any more than that.”
“No?”
“He is very kind, and sometimes, he looks at me, and I think maybe, but other times he looks like he is scared of me.”
“Hm. Maybe he is scared of his feelings for a friend.”
Ayrton knew he had been scared of his feelings for his friend.
“Oh.” Mika said, as if that had never occurred to him. “I… Maybe.”
“It is possible.”
“Maybe.” Mika looked out the window again, then grinned at Ayrton. Some of that teasing glint was back in his eyes. “Maybe I will cook for Michael too.”
“Yes! That is-”
The truck came out of nowhere.
It hit the rear side of his car. His side. They spun.
They spun.
They spun.
He couldn’t control the car.
Oh God, Alain-
They hit a wall.
Everything went black.
Notes:
Remember how one of the things Mika and Ayrton have in common is they both suffered huge, major crashes? 😊
Chapter 13
Notes:
Some non-graphic descriptions of injuries in this chapter. I tried to keep the injuries as close to the actual injuries both Ayrton and Mika sustained in their crashes as I could, but they’re not described in detail in this chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alain was walking in the front door, and the phone was already ringing. He opened his mouth to yell for Ayrton to get it, but he stopped when he noticed Ayrton’s shoes weren’t on their little shoe rack next to the front door. That wasn’t entirely unusual, even if it was a Friday and Ayrton wasn’t working. Alain’s classes had all finished by noon that day, and after a few hours he had decided to do his grading at home so he could have some company, as annoying as Ayrton was sometimes. He hadn’t informed Ayrton of this, however, so it wasn’t a big deal that he wasn’t home. Still, a small bundle of something uncomfortable formed in his stomach.
The phone was still ringing loudly. He tossed his bag onto the floor, something that he knew Ayrton would chastise him about later, but he managed to pick up the phone before it went to voicemail.
“Hello?” He asked, half distracted with shrugging off his coat. Everything would be fine; Ayrton was probably just out for a drive. He did that often enough, and sometimes he took Mika with him. That was probably why everything felt so still.
“Hello, is this Mr. Alain Prost?” A professional sounding female voice said down the other line. Her English accent didn’t quite get his first name right. Maybe it was someone from the university…? Someone did say something or other about asking him to do another seminar.
“Yes, hello. What can I do for you?”
But surely someone from the university would refer to him as Professor Prost? And why would they not know how to say his name?
“I’m afraid I have some bad news, regarding a Ar…Ayrton Senna?” She stumbled over Ayrton’s name too, but Alain didn’t notice. His stomach had dropped to the floor, and his hands had gone numb.
“W-what news?” He stammered. The woman explained that she was a nurse at a nearby hospital, and she explained that Ayrton had been brought in after a serious car crash, and she explained that they don’t know what happened yet but he was still in surgery, and she explained that they needed him to come in as Mr. Senna’s emergency contact to fill out some paperwork, and she explained some more, and…
Alain barely heard her.
A car crash. A hospital.
Not Ayrton. Not his Ayrton. Not his Ayrton. His Ayrton was charming, and smart, and was probably the best driver he knew. It couldn’t be right. There must have been some sort of confusion, right? The poor soul they had in surgery just happened to look like Ayrton. Enough so that a hospital would get confused. Ayrton was going to walk through the front door, upset, and demand to know why a hospital thought they had him in surgery when he was totally fine. He’d start an argument about it, and Alain would be so relieved he’d let him, and everything would be fine.
In the back of his head, he knew that wasn’t possible. There was no scenario where a hospital could make that kind of mistake.
“Are you sure?” Alain breathed, interrupting whatever the nurse had been saying.
“Yes, sir.” She said, more gently than before. Up until then, her voice had been nothing but professional. “We’re sure it’s him. We checked his ID when he came in.”
“Okay.” He stammered again.
“I haven’t heard any news, but he was alive when they brought him into surgery.”
Alive.
Ayrton had more life and energy in him than anyone else Alain had ever met. He was always so vibrant. He was one of those rare people who could walk into a room and immediately draw everyone’s attention, and charm them enough to keep it however long he wanted. It was one of the things Alain liked most about him. But to merely be alive, and for that to be a good thing, almost felt like an insult to everything Ayrton was.
Alain would take it, though. The only other option was Ayrton being dead, and that wasn’t an option. Not to him. Not for Ayrton.
“Okay.” He repeated. His English was usually excellent, but it was suddenly harder to pronounce English words. “I… I will come. I will be there soon.”
He hung up, uncaring that he had cut her off. He couldn’t…. His hands were shaking so bad he could barely put the phone back on the receiver. His hands had never shaken before. He was taking deep, measured breaths, but they still didn’t feel right. The hospital, he needed to get to the hospital. He looked around for the car keys, but his feet were rooted to the spot. His breathing was getting louder. He couldn’t move. He needed to move, he needed to get to the hospital, he needed-
A sudden, sharp knock on the door snapped him out of it. The surprise he felt was almost like a balm, even if it wasn’t comforting. His breathing got quiet again, and his head cleared up enough that he could walk. His hands were still trembling slightly, but he was able to turn the knob and open the door.
“So you’ve heard, then.” Niki said by way of greeting. Alain nodded mutely. “Come on, I will drive you.”
“To the hospital?” Alain asked stupidly. A small part of him wondered how the hell Niki knew about the accident, but he didn’t say anything.
“Yes of course.” Niki nodded. “I don’t trust you to drive, and you don’t even have a car.”
Oh, right. Of course. If he ever needed to drive somewhere, he would take Ayrton’s car. Which had apparently been in an accident, and was probably at some shop or a vehicle compound, he didn't even know-
“Alain.” Niki said sharply. “We should go.”
“Yes.” Alain shook his head and started shoving his shoes on. Ayrton was alive, that was what the nurse said. He was alive. Alain would have to focus on that. Ayrton was alive, and too stubborn to die, and he would be fine.
JJ sighed when the phone rang again. It was the same number as last time too, but it wasn’t one they had saved and it wasn’t one he recognized. He hadn’t wanted to get up from the kitchen table to answer it the first time, but if they were calling a second time then it was probably important. Even though the first time they hadn’t even left a voicemail.
Reluctantly, JJ put down his food and picked up the phone, but before he could say anything, the other person spoke first in Finish: “JJ?”
“Oh, Keke.” Great. He had ignored Keke’s call; he suddenly felt like an asshole. “Hello, sorry I-”
“Jyrki, listen. This is important.” Keke interrupted. JJ bit down his frustration; Keke wouldn’t have interrupted if it was Mika who answered. “I’m at the hospital.”
“What? Is everything okay?”
“It’s Mika. He was in an accident.”
JJ felt like an even bigger asshole.
“He’s…” Keke paused, and that caught JJ’s attention. Keke wasn’t the kind of person who paused in his sentences. He always said what he meant and had never been one to mince words.
“Keke? What happened?” JJ asked slowly. He almost didn’t want to know. His chest was tightening with nerves to the point that it was almost painful.
“It’s serious.” Keke said, his voice low. Not quite soft, but different than JJ had ever heard it. JJ’s breathing stuttered in his chest; he had been half expecting, hoping, for Keke to tell him it wasn’t serious. “He was in a car accident. They have him in surgery, but they told me his heart stopped on the way over.”
JJ’s stomach dropped in horror. His heart stopped? Didn’t that mean he was dying? Or… It meant he technically had died, right? As much as him and Mika didn’t get along, he didn’t want him dead.
“Did they…?”
“They resuscitated him, but he was still really injured. I don’t know all the details. They only told me about his heart, and lots of blood loss. And his breathing; he couldn’t breathe.” Keke sighed. JJ could almost imagine him slumped over, rubbing his forehead and a lit cigarette stuck in his mouth. But, no, he was in a hospital, and hospitals wouldn’t let him smoke- “But I need you to call his parents.”
“What?” JJ squeaked. He would’ve been embarrassed if they had been talking about anything else.
“His parents, Jyrki. I am staying at the hospital, so I need you to call his parents and tell them what happened. I know Mika has their number written somewhere. They need to come over, just in case…”
Keke trailed off, but JJ understood. Just in case Mika didn’t make it. Just in case his body needed to be brought back to Finland.
“Okay, Keke.” He said, sounding more confident than he felt. “Keep me updated?”
“Of course. Call them now.”
Keke hung up on him. JJ put the phone back on the receiver and stared at it for a moment.
Him and Mika used to be friends, but they weren’t any more. Their personalities clashed. Mika was forgetful, and airheaded, and relied too much on other people, like a child. If they went out together, JJ constantly had to remind him to bring his wallet, and to pay attention to where he was going, and he had to make sure Mika didn’t end up getting lost. He would probably forget to pay the rent if JJ wasn’t in charge of it. Despite all that, he was still everyone’s favorite. Keke liked him more than JJ, and he got along with the others in the building better. Even his job had basically been handed to him, just because Ron Dennis liked him and wanted him around. JJ wasn’t above admitting he was jealous.
But, he still didn’t want to see Mika hurt. Or dead. Maybe it was the elusive charm that he had on everyone, that was softening JJ and making him worry for him. (He refused to focus on what Keke had said. His heart stopped? He couldn’t breathe? That just made him feel worse, and made his anxiety spike in ways it hadn’t in a while. Him being worried wouldn’t help Mika.)
JJ shook himself, and reached for the phone.
Notes:
🫶
I know everyone wanted angst, and I hope I delivered 😅
And yes, I do in fact have a huge soft spot for Alain and Niki.
Chapter 14
Notes:
I’m still not dead!
TW: descriptions of injuries, hospitals
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“At least they’re getting along.” David murmured.
“Yeah.” Michael agreed. They were in the mailroom, loitering while listening to Niki and James talking out in the lobby. They were being quiet enough that they couldn’t properly eavesdrop, but they were still trying. “I wonder what they’re talking about?”
“Maybe rent? Maybe James is skimming off the top.” David suggested, and Michael laughed.
“I don’t know, I don’t think James is brave enough to steal from Niki.”
“True.” David ceded. “Maybe they’re having an affair?”
“What, Niki and James?” Michael asked incredulously.
“Hey, stranger things have happened.”
“Niki and James?” Michael repeated. “I don't think they have had a nice conversation the entire time I’ve known them.”
“Well, what’s your idea?”
“Maybe they’re stealing from us? They do have all the keys. They could be comparing notes on our schedules, to see when they can break in.”
“Maybe that’s why all my socks are going missing.”
“You…” Michael chuckled and grinned at David in disbelief. “They’re stealing your socks?”
“I don’t know.” David shrugged. “They sure go missing a lot.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Better than your idea.”
“Come on.” Michael bumped his shoulder and walked out of the mailroom. Niki and James were standing close together near the door to James' office, directly across the lobby, in between the front doors and the elevator. They were talking in hushed tones, and they both looked serious. When they noticed Michael and David, they stopped talking. Michael became acutely aware of the weird tension between them, but chose to ignore it. He was in a good mood, and he wouldn’t let Niki or James ruin it. It was a Saturday, and as sunny outside as England could be in early December, and he was going to ask Mika if he wanted to go run some errands with him later. It wasn’t anything exciting, but he hadn’t seen Mika in a few days, and he wanted to spend some time with him. Plus, he figured he’d like to see his pretty blond hair in the sunshine while they got it.
“Hello!” He said to Niki and James, smiling.
“You have not heard.” Niki said, instead of saying hello back. Michael didn’t know him that well, but he had a feeling that wasn’t unusual for him.
“Heard what?” David asked, coming to stand next to Michael. Niki and James shared a look, and Michael felt it start to chip away at his good mood.
“Mika and Ayrton were in a car accident.” Niki said bluntly. “They’re in the hospital now.”
Michael felt his mood immediately come crashing down. Car accident? When? Were they okay? Why were they in a hospital? Before he could get any questions out, David spoke:
“What the hell happened?”
“A car accident.” Niki repeated, his eyebrows raised.
“We don’t actually know.” James added, shooting Niki an admonishing look. “The hospital called me-”
“Why did they call you?” Michael blurted. Of all the questions he had, that was not the most pressing.
“Because they found Ayrton’s ID, and his address is this building, and I’m the building manager.” James said patiently. “They just had to look up the building phone number. I told Niki, and Niki was able to reach out to their emergency contacts. They both have family flying in today, I think.”
They had family flying in? That meant it was bad, right? Their family wouldn’t fly in if they only had a few bruises.
“Is it bad?” David asked, voicing Michael’s thoughts. He sounded serious; Michael had never heard him sound like that before.
“We shouldn’t say.” Niki said quickly. Michael felt his stomach churn. It was bad, then. Niki would tell them if it wasn’t.
“Can we see them?” He asked weakly. If something had happened to Mika, he wanted to be there. Mika had told him once that he hated hospitals; maybe he could hang out with him and distract him.
“I don’t think so. It’s just family right now.”
Right, of course. Hospitals had rules like that for everyone. It didn’t mean anything. Mika would spend time with his family in the hospital, and when he came back Michael could see him. They could watch a movie and have dinner again, like last time.
Michael took a deep breath against the heavy weight that had settled onto his chest. In the back of his head, he knew something was wrong. It must have been worse than they were saying. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for someone to say it was a joke or for Mika himself to walk in and ask what was going on. But nothing happened. The weather didn’t even change. It stayed bright and sunny outside; there was no rain or ominous clap of thunder. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t right for the weather to be so nice when Mika was in the hospital.
“Thank you for telling us.” Michael heard himself say. He walked back to the elevator and got in in a daze. What if something happened to Mika? Was he lonely? Niki had said Ayrton was there too, but Ayrton would probably have Alain there to fuss over him. Would they even be in the same room? Was Mika all alone in a hospital, surrounded by machines and needles? Michael didn’t think he did so well alone. He had only known Mika for a few months, but he had never really seen him by himself.
He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice that David was standing next to him until the elevator reached their floor.
“Poor Mika.” David said, making Michael jump slightly. “I hope he’s okay.”
“Me too.” Michael murmured. They started walking down the hallway towards their apartments.
“I wonder what happened? They said car crash, but if Ayrton was driving then someone else must have hit them.”
“Oh?” Michael managed to get out around the lump in his throat. A strange feeling started forming in his chest, but he wasn’t sure what it was.
“Ayrton’s a great driver, supposedly. He would never be the cause of an accident.”
“Right.”
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Fine!” Michael insisted. He schooled his features into something he hoped looked normal and smiled tightly at David. “Just worried about Mika.”
“Okay.” David didn’t look like he believed him, but he let it go. They said their goodbyes, and Michael closed his door behind himself.
What if Mika didn’t come back? What if he couldn’t? The weird feeling in Michael’s chest got stronger. What if his injuries were so bad, he had to go back home to Finland? Michael would never see him again, and Mika would never know how much he liked him. He would certainly never find a man as pretty and as funny and as smart as Mika.
Selfish. Stupid, selfish Michael. Mika and Ayrton were both in the hospital, and all he could think about was how much he still wanted to kiss Mika. How he never got the chance. Poor Mika was probably miserable, and in pain, and alone…
Well, maybe not alone, he thought, and he tossed himself onto his couch. JJ would be there with Mika. If he deserved Mika at all, he’d be there to comfort him and cuddle him as much as he wanted. Maybe he’d even make him some kind of Finnish food to help cheer him up.
Bitterly, Michael scowled up at his ceiling. He shouldn’t be jealous, not while Mika was in the hospital, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to be the one who sat by Mika’s bedside, and who knew about the accident first, and who was there for him, and who… Fuck, he just wanted Mika. He had wanted Mika for so long, and now he might never get his chance. Mika might have to move back home. He might die. Mika could die, and he would never know how Michael felt about him. He could die, and then his things would be cleared out and it would be like he was never there at all. Michael would have to go about his life in the same apartment, the same building, without his blond angel there.
Belatedly, Michael realized the feeling in his chest was fear.
Alain put his mug back down on the table quietly, despite the apartment being empty. It was nearly one in the morning, and the apartment was so dark and still that it felt wrong to make any noise. Alain got up and wandered into his bedroom. He probably wouldn’t be able to sleep much, but he might as well try. He laid down, and rolled over so he was facing the wall he shared with Ayrton’s bedroom. His real bedroom. Not that horrible, sterile one he had in the hospital. (Still, he would rather be there.)
The hospital had kicked him out of Ayrton’s room hours ago. He would have stayed all night if he could, but apparently they were much more strict about visiting hours than he thought they would be. He had only been allowed in because he was the emergency contact, and none of Ayrton’s family were in England. He had left the nurse with strict instructions to call him the minute anything changed, and the look on her face told him that she was only agreeing to get rid of him. It also told him he was probably being very difficult. He didn’t care. Ayrton was stuck in a hospital, unconscious and near death from a car crash, of all things. He would be as difficult as he wanted.
After getting to the hospital, and after Niki had left, he had run into Keke Rosberg, who had been there for Mika. Keke used to live in their building, years ago, which is how Mika and JJ had gotten their place. He and Alain hadn’t been close neighbors, but close enough. They hadn’t spoken much, both of them worried and on edge, but he had briefly told Alain about Mika’s condition.
“It’s not good.” Keke had said. “They told me his heart stopped on the way here. And again in surgery. They had to open up his throat so he could breathe. He has head injuries as well but they won’t know how bad until he wakes up.”
“Fuck.” Alain whispered. Little Mika had always been like a puppy, in his mind. Young and energetic and friendly. He knew Keke was especially fond of him. To hear he had suffered such traumatic injuries was horrific.
“He was bleeding from his mouth and he couldn’t breathe when they got to him.” Keke continued. His hand was trembling faintly when he ran it through his hair. All the time they had known each other, and Alain had never seen his hands shake. “He’s still in surgery now.”
Alain stood in silence, and looked away when Keke surreptitiously wiped at his cheeks.
“What about Ayrton? How’s he?”
“Also not good. His heart stopped and he has head injuries as well, and he needed a blood transfusion. I can’t see him yet, and I haven’t been able to speak to a doctor, so I don’t know much else.”
They had waited together, not speaking. At one point, they took turns with one of the pay phones. Keke had called JJ, and Alain had called Niki. He had tried convincing Niki to call Ayrton’s family, that they needed to know, but Niki had insisted that the call had to come from Alain. In a normal situation, he would probably agree. Niki wasn’t mean, but he was blunt and honest to the point of rudeness sometimes. And Ayrton’s family didn’t know him; they knew Alain. But he wasn’t sure he could do it. What if he called them and something had happened to Ayrton? What if he had to give them news about his death? He didn’t think he had the strength. Eventually, Niki had shown some mercy, and said he would at least be there when Alain called just in case.
After what felt like hours, and actually was hours, Alain was allowed into Ayrton’s room. He looked… Fine, almost. Most of his body was intact, and his face was relaxed. He could’ve been sleeping, if not for the tube down his throat. He was wearing a neck brace, and several bandages wrapped around his head and temple. Several wires criss crossed his right arm, including an IV, and a heart monitor beeped steadily in the corner.
Alain sat heavily in the chair next to the bed and looked away. He couldn’t see Ayrton like that. Not if he didn’t want to burst into tears. He wasn’t going to cry over Ayrton Senna in a hospital. Maybe later, alone, if he had to. But for now he would sit with him, so he wouldn't be alone.
It was later, and Alain felt tears prickling at the back of his eyes again. He still didn’t want to let them fall. Crying meant there was something to cry over. It meant there was something to regret. Ayrton was still alive, Alain didn’t have to regret anything.
He never got to tell him. He never got to tell Ayrton that he thought he was brilliant, and he would never leave his side if he could.
Tears finally spilled over his cheeks, and he gasped for breath. God, Ayrton. What if he didn’t make it? His head injuries had been severe, according to the doctor. He might wake up but he might not. What if he didn’t? Then what? His family would have to take his things back to Brazil. There would be a funeral. A big catholic one. Ayrton sent money home for his family, but also his neighborhood. Alain didn’t know the details, but he knew Ayrton helped his community with money from his second job. Everyone he helped would want to come to his funeral. He’d have to listen to so many eulogies. And Mika? Poor Mika, what if he woke up but Ayrton didn’t? The guilt would eat him alive. And his nieces and nephews, they were so young, he wasn’t sure if they would even remember Ayrton as they got older. Ayrton loved his family so much, the idea of his family forgetting him was heartbreaking. Then Alain would be alone in their home, with the remainder of Ayrton’s things, and no more noise. No more loud conversations. There’d be no more arguments, but there would also be no more sneaking onto the roof and drinking together while watching the city lights flicker on after sunset. Everything would just remind him of what he had, and what was taken from him. He’d see Ayrton everywhere, because he had taken up space in so much of his life.
He couldn’t live with Ayrton haunting him like that.
Notes:
Sorry for the wait folks 😞 My anxiety has really been messing with my sleep and my eating habits have gotten…worse.
I hope you enjoyed an extra long chapter to make up for it! I thought about splitting them up, but I liked the contrast between two characters who don’t know the same details. (I wrote most of this at work, that’s why Alain is so depressing)
As always, come bother me on Tumblr!
Chapter Text
This isn’t right.
Ayrton sat up, as much as he could. His seat was too far forward, and the steering wheel was pressed up against his chest. There was something blurring the corner of his vision, but no matter how hard he blinked it wouldn’t go away. His hands were resting on the dashboard, which was also too close. There was broken glass everywhere.
What?
Ayrton turned his head. Why was there smoke? Or was it steam? His head hurt. His arms didn’t feel right, like they were disconnected from his body. Everything was fuzzy, and slow. His body wasn’t responding to him. Was he just stuck? Why was he stuck? Surely he wasn’t… He wouldn’t…. His head throbbed. The blur at the corner of his vision was getting worse, and nothing was focusing quite right. He’d never passed out before, but maybe he was about to.
He managed to turn his head. Mika was sitting there, in his blood red jacket, his face angled towards him but his chin low. His blond hair stood out like a beacon amongst all the darkness around them. There was a wall behind him. Mika was stuck, he was the one who wouldn’t be able to-
His jacket wasn’t blood red. It was a light, bright red, but there was blood, blood on his jacket and his face and his neck and his hands. It was shocking and stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin. How hadn't he noticed it earlier? Was Mika looking at him? He couldn’t even tell if his eyes were open. He couldn't even tell if he was breathing. He could’ve even tell if he was alive. Ayrton tried to open his mouth, heart hammering in his chest, but nothing came out. Blood continued to drip down Mika’s face.
Maybe he was bleeding too. He didn’t want to die. He wanted Alain. Sweet, kind Alain. He wanted his parents, his siblings, and his niece and nephew. He wanted Mika to wake up and smile again.
Suddenly, his vision blurred. He felt dizzy, but the kind he felt when he was drunk and laying down. He knew he wasn't moving, but his head was still spinning.
Then, just as suddenly, the feeling stopped. He wasn't in his car anymore, but he was in bed. It was much more comfortable. He could move his arms, and his vision wasn’t blurry anymore. Alain was there too, that was nice. He was laying next to Ayrton, propped up on one elbow, tracing patterns into Ayrton’s bare chest. Sunlight was coming in behind him, making his freckles stand out and his hair look like a halo.
“Alain.” Ayrton murmured. He lifted up one of his hands and cupped Alain’s cheek. Alain didn't respond. He just nuzzled into Ayrton’s palm. “I had the most awful dream.”
Alain still did not respond, but he lifted up his gaze and quirked his eyebrow curiously.
“I was in a car crash, with Mika. There was blood everywhere.”
“Ayrton Senna? Crash his car?” Alain scoffed, but his voice was filled with warmth and humor. “Never.”
“No. Never.” Ayrton agreed. Alain lifted his face out of Ayrton’s hand, but then he was moving closer, closer, and lowering himself down until he was laying down against Ayrton’s side like he belonged there. Ayrton’s heart practically sang in his chest. Alain was so soft, and warm, and he fit right in Ayrton’s arms, just like he knew he would. His head was nestled in the crook of Ayrtons neck, and his body was languidly stretched out, all soft pale skin that was begging to be held. Ayrton was just a weak, weak man. He wrapped his arms around Alain’s back and little waist and pulled him closer, until he was practically laying on top of him. Alain just made a small, content noise.
“Sometimes I think you love that car more than me.” Alain murmured, slinging one of his thighs over Ayrton’s hips.
“Never.” Ayrton repeated. He kissed the top of Alain’s curly hair and tightened his grip. “Never more than you.”
“Mm. Good.” Alain kissed his neck. Ayrton felt himself flush with pleasure. He reached down and grabbed Alain’s thigh, and let himself enjoy the way his fingers dug into the flesh there.
“Alain? Is this a dream?”
“Does it feel like one?”
“You do. You feel too good to be true.”
“You are such a flirt, mon chérie.”
Ayrton hid his smile in Alain’s curls. If it was a dream, it was the best dream he’d ever had. It was all he’d ever wanted. Sunshine coming through the windows, warming them and the bed. Alain, soft and sweet, stretched out in his arms. Nowhere to be, nothing to do. Just them, existing. His own little slice of heaven.
“It’s time to wake up, Ayrton.”
Mika smiled at the rain coming down. It was a decent storm; he was just glad he had made it back to his building before it got worse. The rain was pelting down so hard he was probably wet even under his raincoat. Even if he was, he always liked the rain. Well, watching it at least. It made everything softer, and it reminded him of his childhood. He stared up at the dark clouds that he could only just see past the awning and the surrounding buildings, and he was suddenly struck with the feeling that he was forgetting something. It wasn’t a new feeling, but he couldn’t imagine what it was he had forgotten. An assignment? No, it was the weekend. Was it someone’s birthday? He’d have to check JJ’s calendar, but that didn’t sound right either. Was there an errand he needed to run?
Before he could figure it out, there was the sound of a door opening behind him, and Michael walked out. He was bundled up in a thick sweater and his raincoat, and Mika just wanted to sit in front of a fire and cuddle with him.
“Michael!” He called. Michael looked up, a little startled, but his expression quickly melted into something so soft, Mika could’ve melted too.
“Mika! What are you doing out in this weather?” He said, coming to stand next to him.
“I just got back, I was watching the rain.”
“Mh. Do you like the rain?”
“I do!” Mika nodded, and looked back up at the sky, even as he got the strangest feeling of deja vu. Had they talked about the rain before? “As long as I don’t have to go out in it.”
“No?” Michael laughed. “Doing things in the rain is more fun!”
“Fun?” Mika scoffed. “You get all wet-”
“It’s just water, Mika.”
“And cold.” To demonstrate, Mika placed one of his palms on the back of Michael’s neck. His skin was so warm it nearly burned. For a moment, he didn’t want Michael to pull away. He wanted him to stay, and let Mika touch his neck, and maybe touch him in some other places too. The rain was romantic, right?
The deja vu got stronger. Had they had this conversation before? Maybe that’s what he was supposed to remember?
But like he expected, Michael jumped in surprise, swearing under his breath in German, and pulled Mika’s hand off his neck. Mika giggled, and tried to control his smile when Michael didn’t let go.
“Mika! You’re freezing!” He exclaimed. He gently cradled Mika’s hand in his, and rubbed his other hand over Mika’s fingers. Mika felt warmth flood his entire body, but it wasn’t just from Michaels hands. He could only hope his face hadn’t turned bright red. “You should go inside and get warm.”
“You should too.” He said, then regretted it. He should’ve said something more flirty. Maybe ‘only if you’re the one to warm me up’ or something. Or, no, he didn’t want to make Michael uncomfortable. He didn't even like Mika like that.
“Alright, come on.” Michael said, and pulled Mika towards the door anyway.
“But, what about what you need to do?” Mika protested. Surely Michael had come outside because he had to go somewhere. His chest and neck were starting to feel weird for some reason.
“Me?” Michael grinned at him over his shoulder; maybe that’s why his chest felt tight. But it didn’t explain his neck. “I’ll do it later.”
“Okay.” Mika smiled, but that deja vu was starting to get stronger. They had done this before. Mika couldn’t remember when, but he knew they had had this conversation before. Maybe that’s why he felt like he was forgetting something? He should remember if Michael held his hand before. But, no, that wasn’t right either.
Michael was still walking in front of him, but everything felt slow, sluggish. Like he was moving through jelly. The apartment lobby looked much longer than it used too. The sound of rain had faded away. They were inside now, but he still should’ve been able to hear it. The feeling in his neck was getting more painful.
What was he forgetting? It was something big, bigger than Michael holding his hand. Did it have to do with his neck? He tried to reach up and touch it, but he could barely move his arm. It felt like it was made of lead at his side. He tried to open his mouth and call out for Michael, but he couldn’t find his voice. The room was getting blurry, like he was about to cry, but he didn’t feel any tears.
He needed to figure out what he was forgetting. His neck was burning, just above his clavicle, and his head was starting to hurt too. What the hell was going on? Was Michael alright? Was it just him? He wanted to hold Michael’s hand again, and hear him say that it was okay, and make everything go back to how it was. Michael was smart, he’d know whatever it was that Mika had forgotten. And he’d know what was wrong with his neck, and his head, and his chest. Maybe he’d even cook him dinner again; that’d be nice.
It hurt. His neck, his head, his chest. It hurt.
He wanted Michael. He wanted his mother. He’d even settle for Keke telling him he needed to eat more vegetables.
He needed to remember.
He couldn’t breathe.
He wasn’t breathing.
Notes:
Yayy coma dreams!!!
I made Ayrton’s a dream and Mika’s a flashback, for reasons that will be explained later.I just wanted to say yall were so nice to me in the comments of my last chapter. I’m fine, I promise.
Come say hi on Tumblr!
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