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“Do you have any updates, luv?” Stress asked him with a smile.
“No ma’am. The demon is still contained and there have been no other signs of demon activity in the area I am guarding.” Hbomb declared.
“Wonderful!” Stress closed her tome. “Between the field work and guard post, I’m sure you’ll be granted a promotion to principality soon!”
“Principality?”
“Yes! You’ve done an outstanding job H. Enough that Jordan, Iskall, and I have declared you are fit to join our council,”
“I’m not even an archangel-”
“You’ve done the work of one that is why we recommended you as a principality luv!”
“I… that is a big development…!” H tried to sound excited.
“It is! I think it's a matter of five years for the final decision to be approved,”
“O-only five years?”
“But of course! You’ve been guarding and fighting for 200 years! Doubt it will take longer than 5 years to review all your work,”
“But… Lady Stress isn’t… isn’t that not enough work to qualify for a principality?”
“Of course not! I’ve counseled angels with more than 600 years of work and they were still not ready to be promoted into archangels. You have proven very valuable in a concise amount of time we ought to recognize it!” Stress beamed with pride.
H lowered his head. “I’m... I’m very thankful for such an… opportunity… it wouldn’t be possible without your council as well as Iskall and Jordan’s advice,”
Stress harmonized a brief but reassuring tune. It didn’t make Hbomb any happier about the situation even if it felt rewarding.
“Thank you… again…” He said.
“Anytime H, if you have anything to report or anything to discuss you know I’m here.”
Hbomb nodded and the meeting was concluded. After a flash of light, he found himself back on earth. Sat at the same bench he’d left his shell at. He looked around and realized it was raining now. More accurately it was pouring, lighting and thunder swirled just above the city and the wind made the already dense curtain of water ondulate far too chaotically than it was safe for humans. It wasn’t a hurricane, but he was sure Yogi’s school would be closed tomorrow due to the streets flooding.
Once that thought crossed his mind and how rain affected humans he realized his shell was beyond soaking. It was saturated and dripping water. Not the first time this had happened but he’d spent too long on his shell, getting it damped felt as uncomfortable as Fundy had warned it would be.
He hadn’t had a shell grow sensible to such things in half a century, but he could swear it had taken three decades for a shell to reach this point. This time it had been only a decade but this shell was far more sensible than the one he had back then. He didn’t stop to wonder why as he stood up and set to get back to his post. Trying to ignore how joyless he felt that he’d be promoted out of it so soon.
Why did he even enjoy the field so much? Why reject a reward like being promoted two positions in recognition of his work?
He looked up, seeing nothing but gray clouds above him. Heaven wasn’t up in the sky, but he felt compelled to look for answers, even if he got freezing water on his eyes making them hurt. No matter how much he waited for answers they never came and navigating the city by foot under a storm like this required him to be more engaged so he closed his eyes and focused on the path ahead.
His shell felt cold and miserable. Even if this was a temporary state it was easy to forget that it would pass. Shell’s altered the perception of time too much but it was all for the sake of understanding humans better so he’d bear it, at least they allowed him to feel relief once he made it back to Yogi’s house.
As he walked up the porch of the house he realized he’d drench the floor if he walked in. Fundy would scold him for it. He grabbed the doorknob.
He would miss Fundy.
Hbomb didn’t move, ignoring the puddle of water collecting underneath him.
Why did he even-
That was not right.
He could miss Yogi but he was never supposed to be this close to humans, and he was supposed to stay even farther from demons. Then why would he miss Fundy? That implied he enjoyed the demon’s company.
And-
And he did. He did enjoy Fundy’s company.
That shouldn’t be possible. They were enemies, Fundy must have done something for him to feel like this.
But then it would be his fault if he didn’t resist it.
He’d need to think about the promotion out of his shell, maybe it being drenched and uncomfortable was affecting his judgment.
He opened the door. “Yogi?” he called out expecting to see the kid sitting in the living room watching TV while doing homework. The lights were off and the curtains were closed, it was unnecessarily dark, especially during a storm that already darkened the day.
“Yogi?” H asked again walking towards the kitchen to see if he could find his protectee there snacking on some microwavable mac n cheese. But he stopped in the middle of the hallway, in front of the stairs, and stared again at the living room, where he saw a bundle of blankets on the couch, far too big to be the kid.
He stalked slowly until he was beside the couch to get a better look.
There laid Fundy, breathing softly, wrapped in a blanket from where Yogi’s face barely poked out. Both were asleep. Even if the sofa was big, the way Yogi’s head rested at an awkward angle on a pillow and his face barely peeking out of the blankets seemed dangerous.
“That is not good for Yogi,” H mumbled while figuring out how to pick up the boy without waking him or the demon up.
It proved to be a challenge. He removed the blankets as gently as he could just to find Fundy had a death grip on the boy. There was not an easy gap for H to exploit to pull Yogi without waking him up. He grumbled and leaned in to wake up Fundy but stopped when he heard a low rumbling sound.
He froze wondering if Fundy was awake and growling at him but a glance over assured him the demon was still fast asleep. H remained there for a moment longer trying to understand what the sound was. He looked around for its source but it was clear it had come from Fundy, it was a very consistent and low sound that didn’t vary much, aside from going quieter when Fundy’s chest rose.
Was he purring?
Demons could purr? With what purpose? That didn’t make sense.
Animals purred to communicate calmness and bond with each other. Did demons communicate much the same way? It would be an odd gesture between them. Could it be done to soothe and lure humans? But then this didn’t look like a trap. Yogi was deep asleep and didn’t seem to mind being held. Besides he stumbled onto this scene so Fundy wasn’t doing this just to demonstrate something to anyone else that wasn’t the kid.
It was odd thinking this was a genuine display of affection. Fundy was generous with his odd way of showing affection. He was annoying and loud and noisy and far more human in that regard than H wanted to admit. But it was easy to dismiss those instances as a demon being a nuisance. Seeing such a soft and all-encompassing act of affection displayed towards Yogi was different.
Fundy held him protectively and close. Not really to keep him warm as they had a blanket draped over them. The very tight hug alongside the purring suggested it was to calm down, ease, and show affection to the kid. For no reason aside from simply wanting to do it.
It had to be like that. Yogi was 10. Humans at that age are confrontational enough that something like this wouldn’t be possible unless they wanted to participate.
It was the closest he’d seen an unearthly being act like a human, minus the purring.
Hbomb looked away, feeling sorrow and confusion realizing this was the softness and gentleness he’d thought he’d be offering to his protectees. It was not. Nothing he’d done had ever come close to something like this. No one had ever shown this level of care towards him.
He stood up.
That was blasphemy!
H took several steps back but nothing happened. No splitting headache caused by his halo or sense of doom took hold of him. He pressed his hands against his chest, trying to understand what his shell was feeling now, and why he’d think like that.
He’d had the council. They’d guide him sagely and patiently, how could he say they hadn’t shown him this level of care?
Not this way perhaps, but they were angels, these things were far more earthly, but they cared for him. Why would he ever think like this? Why did he want more?
Hbomb paced around the living room before shaking his head and returning to the couch. He miracle himself dry so maybe the uncomfortable feelings his shell was experiencing would stop interfering with his thoughts. He had to focus, it was still bad for Yogi to sleep like this, it could hurt him. There was no reason to go in on his head over this sort of thing.
He leaned in again and found Yogi was still firmly in Fundy’s grasp, so he leaned in and lightly shook Fundy.
“I’m taking Yogi upstairs,” H whispered.
Fundy grumbled and let go of Yogi but he didn’t stir fully awake.
Yogi jerked slightly before settling down again, didn’t flinch or show any signs of being awake. Right, little humans were very stubborn when it came to sleep.
H picked up Yogi before Fundy had a chance to grab him again.
Fundy settled down back on the couch with no protest, and Yogi curled up to him, well, really the kid clung to him with what H could describe as a vicious grip. He spent the short walk between the couch and Yogi’s room trying to find a way to make the kid let go but he was determined to hold onto someone while sleeping.
H had to miracle the door open and push it with his shoulder just to enter Yogi’s room since the kid would not let go. It was a tad ridiculous and got far more annoying when leaning over Yogi’s bed while trying to set him down without waking him up.
“Yogi,” H complained.
After another try to pry the kid away and no success he sighed and settled on sitting on the beanbag while holding Yogi, but the moment he hugged him to make sure he wouldn’t fall while sitting down, Yogi let go.
So he simply needed a hug?
H wondered while laying Yogi on his bed, tucking him, and handing him a plushie to hug before he got trapped again. Yogi looked content to direct his hug attack to the spider plushy Fundy got for him.
Why did Fundy even get him that? Spiders were scary for humans.
H remembered while walking down the hallway that Yogi had asked to get that plushy and Fundy bought it for him with some fries too since Yogi had a bad day at school.
Hm. This was not dissipating the worrying thoughts he’d had earlier. They were making it worse. He tried to change gears. Because yes maybe Fundy acted with so much care and expressed it in such a way that it seemed inviting. But really it was tempting above all. That was it. A form of temptation H hadn’t even thought about. Whenever he thought of temptation, demonic magic and suggestion came to mind, but perhaps demons had adapted and this soft persuasion was more effective. It looked gentle, it was subtle, it looked like kindness.
H scowled as he found himself in the living room again and saw Fundy still laying down on the couch.
That had to be it. If not all or most demons, it was Fundy’s way of accomplishing his objective. And it was effective enough it had made him doubt and stray from what was right.
Hbomb sat down opposite the couch where Fundy remained.
That made more sense than genuinely missing Fundy. His attitude had tricked him while his concerns were placed on Yogi. He considered what to do, and how to overcome the temptation and make sure Yogi rejected it as well.
He had five years, would that be enough to shake the influence of a demon? No, Fundy was here and planned to remain beside Yogi for the rest of his life. He couldn’t leave, what type of angel would he be if he accepted a promotion over looking after a soul that was in so much danger?
He’d have to decline.
Hbomb stood up and walked towards “his” room, he’d leave his shell there and speak with Lady Stress again. It was an important development that shouldn’t wait. Sure another angel could guard Yogi but how long would it take them to realize Fundy wasn’t a mildly devious demon but one utilizing very rare tactics?
He had to stop Fundy’s plan. If he was successful in harnessing just one soul constantly other demons might replicate it and that was simply unacceptable.
H stopped in his tracks when he saw his jacket folded on his bed. Last time he’d seen it, Fundy was holding it. He stared at it for far too long. How was a piece of clothing taunting him?
Seeing the jacket folded and laid so orderly in his bed after he’d torn it and discarded it felt important. He couldn’t explain why but he sat on his bed and grabbed the jacket. Once unfurled, H could see the white stitches that had closed the gaps his wings had ripped in the jacket.
The stitches were visible but they were careful. It wasn’t shoddy patchwork but something done on purpose to make the repairs visible.
H sat staring at that jacket wondering why Fundy would do that. He didn’t have much attachment to material things and he’d discarded the garment. So why was it repaired and placed carefully in “his” room so it could be found and used again?
Was it the same display of kindness to tempt him? Although tempt him to what? Be more lenient? He’d never been more lenient when it came to Yogi or what Fundy was allowed to do to other humans.
Tempt him to do what exactly? If he was to expound this theory of Fundy’s tactics he had to be precise. The demon showed kindness so he’d be more receptive to temptation by doing seemingly random acts of kindness that had no benefit?
Making him seem kinder than he truly was maybe?
It was becoming confusing to discern what was happening. Selflessness was a virtue. Kindness too. How could a demon show them so consistently just to gain something afterward? Humans did the same too but they had free will. Demons didn’t have as many options, neither did angels.
He had used violence in the past to further his goals. So Fundy using kindness to further his goals wasn’t that difficult to understand.
Then why did it take him this long to see that? The council would ask that. He needed to know why he’d taken so long.
Naive thinking that a demon could be better?
No. No, he’d enter this entire situation with suspicion from the very start.
Maybe it was simply easier to believe while he focused on Yogi. That was an excuse and not a good reason to present to the council.
H had not let go of the jacket. Still looking at the lines of stitches running up the back.
Was it wrong that he’d want to believe in Fundy?
Being tricked for believing in someone else’s kindness spoke more about their trickery and slyness than his lack of discerning eye. Right? Would the council see it that way?
Would they see it as him being tricked, or as him falling for temptation? (Temptation to do what?)
He set the jacket down on his lap, looking out the window to the pouring rain.
Had he failed already? No. Stress had said he’d be promoted in five years.
But that was because they didn’t know how it was, not even after he explained. Next evaluation he could be given a bad review. Maybe? No.
But it could happen. Why was he thinking so much? If he was doing a good job he’d be sure. So why the doubts? Why was he doubting? Why did he edge on blasphemy early? Where was the drumming choir resonating through his halo and making his true form ache as punishment for straying away?
This whole debacle with the demon. With Fundy. Was he deflecting all his doubts and concerns onto him? He was an enemy, it was reasonable to think he’d be cause for confusion and misdirection, and turmoil. But blaming him entirely was shying away from taking responsibility for not doing better.
No, you are digging far too much. You have your answer, don't ignore it.
H let out a long defeated sigh. Before entering through the front door he’d know what was happening. He cared for Fundy, that's why his kindness and gentleness affected him. Why would he miss him? He hugged the jacket trying to clear his thoughts but doom manifested in his chest and he stood up to try and shake off the sense of dread.
“I’m sorry-“
He confessed hoping it would spare him from the piercing choir and falling.
Nothing happened. Not even after several minutes. He was still standing in “his” room holding the jacket Fundy had mended for him.
There was no condemnation then, on caring for Fundy.
That didn’t seem right but nothing happened to confirm it wasn’t right. The silence made him drift further and further into uncharted waters.
It was his decision now. It was up to him.
Suddenly not having his halo shriek and paralyze him when he did wrong, was the worst thing to happen. Because now he had to decide where to stop without knowing if he’d be stopped or how grave the punishment may be.
Did humans live like this?
This wasn’t how it should work for him, so then why was the choir quiet?
He stared at the jacket once more before putting it on reluctantly. No sudden doom and damnation fell on him. But a warm feeling did bloom on his chest. He couldn’t describe it.
He hugged himself, as if the jacket, the one fixed by Fundy, was the one holding him.
No tragedy befell him. No matter how much he waited for a sign to stop it never came.
He stood up and walked back to the living room, and sat down opposite to where Fundy remained. Staring at him to try and decipher this somehow. Convince himself it was wrong missing Fundy and enjoying his kindness and wanting his care. There had to be a way to set this confusion and trickery aside. There had to be. Somehow. Please. There had to.
“Kid?” Fundy whispered.
Hbomb sat straight and glared at Fundy who was slow to wake up.
Fundy grumbled and tried again. “Yogi, that you?” he lifted his head and blinked, scanning the room. He stopped when his eyes landed on him.
H took a deep breath.
“Hbomb?” Fundy asked sleepily. “Where is Yogi?”
“I tucked him on his bed so he’d sleep better”
“Hm…” Fundy laid his head down again. “Okay…”
Hbomb didn’t move. Not even after Fundy closed his eyes and settled down again to sleep. He couldn’t look away. The very soft inquiry after where Yogi was. The tenderness and protective way he’d been holding him. And now how peaceful he looked. It brought to the forefront of his mind all that he’d been trying to forget to stop himself.
He could not. He could not stop himself unless the Council called upon him or he fell right this instant he could not stop.
Not when he was positively moved by this care- And he believed sincerely in it. And he wanted more of it.
Want. That word again.
H let out a low sigh.
He shouldn’t want things. Less of all someone. Especially if they were a demon.
Fundy was supposed to be his enemy. Celestial and infernal beings were just meant to detest each other. Why in the nine circles of heaven did he want a demon to show him care and affection? Why did he enjoy it?
Was it a test? Was the choir waiting to see how deep he’d dig to justify himself before they condemned him?
No. It had always been immediate. It had never varied, so all this somehow had to be right.
But it didn’t feel right.
It was confusing and upsetting. So it had to be wrong.
But it wasn’t wrong either.
So what was it? What was all of this?
“H…?” Fundy asked softly.
Hbomb blinked and realized he’d been staring at Fundy and probably his anguish was loud enough to disrupt his sleep.
“It’s something wrong?” Fundy yawned and rubbed his eyes.
Hbomb let out a trembling breath. “No… don’t worry.”
Fundy looked at him without moving, before asking. “Then what are you doing?”
“Guarding…” H replied since he didn’t know what else to say.
“Guarding?” Fundy pushed himself up. “What are you guarding?” he tilted his head amused. “Are you guarding me while I try to sleep?” he teased.
H had to exhale slowly again, while he searched for the words to answer.
What was he doing? Observing Fundy yes, but mostly thinking. If he admitted that Fundy would ask what he was thinking about. But it was difficult to reach a different answer. The way Fundy playfully teased made him feel warm. It reaffirmed that he did want his care, and attention and that he’d miss him, and it was all not despite Fundy being a demon but because of that very fact.
“I’m guarding Yogi…” H said unconvinced, looking away while he failed to navigate the mess in his head.
“By keeping an eye on me?” Fundy asked before allowing his demonic features to break through his shell just to grin at him with his fangs. “Ah right… concerned I’m eating his dreams while I nap?”
He felt an uncanny familiarity with Fundy and it went beyond both of them being unearthly in nature. This exchange right here, felt like something that could have happened thousands of years ago despite neither of them having existed that long, it felt natural. It was familiar. Hbomb wasn’t sure why. But this familiarity, this warmth he felt around Fundy contributed to his desire to be closer.
It was easy to wonder what it would be to be embraced by Fundy, and it was even easier to feel a pang of remorse and excitement realizing he craved to be close in such a way. Was it wrong of him?
Was it wrong that he wanted closeness?
Want. Once again. Want. It came back to that.
Both of them had been close so far. But would this be too close?
He hadn’t fallen yet. So no. It wouldn’t be, right?
Did he even care that it would be too close?
“Hmm?” Fundy teased. “What’s going in there Hbomb? You are very quiet today..”
He didn’t reply. He didn’t know how to. It made Fundy’s relaxed attitude go away.
“H?”
He stood up. Fundy followed him with his eyes.
“Something’s going on?”
H removed his boots and jacket before exhaling and allowing his wings and halo to break out of his shell.
“Nothing…” he sighed. Breaking out of his human shell didn’t make anything better. All this mess was embedded deep within his light. It wasn’t things his shell was experiencing just to imitate humans. It was real. Far too real.
Fundy sat down, frowning. “That doesn’t sound or look like nothing,”
“It- It is…. nothing… I…” H stopped. Was he going to swear in vain now? He was lying now?
H paced away, unsure what to do with his hands or his entire self.
Fundy stood up. “Hbomb angels can’t lie. Why do you even try? What’s going on?”
“We…we can…” He whispered. “Lie.. yes we can lie…” he said loudly now. “We just get punished for it,”
And yet the choir remained quiet.
Fundy looked worried now and walked towards him. “Okay… but something is happening…”
H backed off of him and sat in the chair where he’d been sat before. “I’m tired… and need to lay down”.
Fundy didn’t back down. “Okay, sure. But you are acting weird, H what's happening.”
He’d have to answer. He looked up to Fundy, standing in front of him. Fundy stared back, concerned.
He wasn’t angry, suspicious or annoyed. He was concerned. His natural enemy concerned over him not acting as usual. He knew how he acted usually to even be concerned.
“I don’t think anyone knows me…” Hbomb said out loud, not intending it to be an answer but it was the one he had.
“What?” Fundy asked.
“ I don’t think anyone knows me…” He repeated. “It… doesn’t feel like it…even my council… they are kind and wise… but I don’t think they really know me…”
Fundy didn’t reply.
“I’m… I’m not making any sense… I’m sorry…”
“Did something happen upstairs?” Fundy interrupted his disjointed attempt to answer.
“N-no, I left Yogi sleeping in his room, everything was in order-”
“No. I mean upstairs,” Fundy looked up for emphasis.
He nodded.
Fundy visibly panicked.
“You are not in danger!” H clarified immediately. “Is… I’m keeping guard and I told my council so, they won’t be sending anyone else since I’m here,”
He was protecting Fundy, from his fellow angels?
Fundy nodded, still anxious. “Okay… uh… then… what happened?”
“I’m being promoted in a couple of years…”
“Oh…” Fundy glanced away nervously for a moment. “What… does that mean?”
“I’ll be given two sets of wings and promoted to principality, it will increase my power and change my responsibilities away from fieldwork. So… I’d have to return to heaven..”
Fundy’s expression fell, he didn’t look surprised. More upset than anything but he reigned in his expression. “Okay… uh…That’s… all?”
“Yes… those are all the consequences of a promotion” H nodded.
“Neat…” Fundy didn’t sound excited. He opened his mouth to say something else but he stopped. Still, H felt something was being left unsaid. Made all the more clear when Fundy stayed put right where he was, swishing his tail nervously.
H awaited for something, but nothing really happened aside from Fundy looking away from him. “Okay… uh… Don’t think ordering pizza is really an option with this rain… so I will be taking some from I’l Forno by myself… unless you’d prefer we call a human and do it all legally while exposing them to the elements…” he was attempting to sound like his jokey self but some nervousness clinging to his voice.
“I assure you, my promotion doesn’t represent any danger to you..” H said.
Fundy’s gritted his teeth uncomfortable in a grimace. “Okay, then why are you acting so weird about this?”
“I wasn’t expecting a promotion that big… this soon…. and… I realize… I’d…. Miss you” H lowered his tone. “A lot…”
Fundy’s eyes went wide. “Miss me?!” He took a step back in disbelief.
“Y-yes…” Hbomb looked down and focused on his hands. He hadn’t even expected Fundy to reprimand him. Just because something was wrong with him to seek closeness to an enemy, didn’t mean Fundy would do the same. But his reaction wasn’t calm.
“Hmmm…” Fundy walked away back to the couch where he’d been sleeping. “Miss me?” His tone got playful again even if it sounded uneven now. “What would you even miss about me? Having someone to feel superior over? Scolding me?
H wasn’t sure if he was being mocked right now. Something was wrong with the way Fundy spoke.
“I’d miss being close to you…” Hbomb admitted. Hoping clarification would fix whatever needed fixing right now so the feeling of wrongness would go away.
Fundy visibly recoiled but he didn’t turn to look at him. H pressed himself against the back of the chair, ignoring how his wings got pressed against the cushion and his shell, the terror taking hold of his shell hurt more.
Just because he’d felt strongly enough to stray this far, didn’t mean a demon would do the same. No matter how chaotic and individualistic, they still had to answer to superiors and their realm. Angels fell if they disobeyed, but what happened to demons? Did they perish? That was somehow more merciful than falling.
He grasped at the armrests. What had happened to him? How did he come to think like this? Why was the choir quiet? He’d been circling more and more dangerous ideas than ever and yet nothing happened. And how could he even think something like that? It couldn’t have been such a quick development prompted only by Fundy, could it?
Fundy’s hands sharpened as human skin burned up to reveal the leathery skin safeguarded by orange scales. Hbomb could see the start of embers envelope the sleeves of Fundy’s jacket.
“Who do you think you are?” Fundy growled, followed by the distinctive click a demon made as they flicked their tongue emitting sparks.
Just the sound alone made Hbomb stand up, light breaking out his shell, wings unfurled. “WHAT-” he had to tone down his voice. “What… Do you mean by that?”
Fundy turned around to stare him down, eyes burning orange, black tears running down his face, hellish flame visible behind his fangs. “What do I mean?” Fundy said in a low, poisonous tone. “What do YOU mean Hbomb?” he growled, closing the distance fast enough H was forced to sit down again. Fundy grabbed the backrest behind him, caging him between him and the chair. “What do you mean by missing me?! Why are you treating me like I’m a fool?” he gritted his teeth, it looked painful.
He was far too close H could see the black tears evaporating as they fell and came in contact with his light.
“I’m- I’m not lying.”
“You just told me angels can lie! And this must be a lie! Why would you ever-” a violent sob interrupted him. “-miss me?”
He sounded hurt. Not angry.
H stared directly at him, Fundy blinked trying to adjust to the light but he didn’t back off, no matter if it made more tears fall.
“Fundy…”
“Why?!” Fundy demanded, digging his claws onto the backrest, more and more smoke rising.
“Your… your jacket…” H said, approaching a hesitant hand to Fundy’s arms, where the jacket threaten to go up in flames. “You’ll burn it-”
“Don’t change the subject!” Fundy yelled.
“You care about this jacket!” H said. “It will make you more upset if it burns-”
“And so what?!”
“I- I don’t want… you sad…” he admitted. The awful tension trapped inside of him escaped without any hope of stopping it, he wasn’t aware angels could cry. He let out a pitiful sound.
Fundy backed off surprised.
“You fixed.. my jacket…” H pushed through. He was surprised at how difficult it was to talk while crying he felt out of air even if he didn’t need oxygen. “ Because you decided… it meant something to me… please don’t damage yours…”
He’d never felt as weak, not even while unarmed and surrounded at the edge of Purgatory. What was happening?
“I’m… I’m… sorry for… all of this,” H said, lowering his head, taking a deep breath, and feeling tears escape more than the eyes that matched his human shell.
Fundy’s ire doubled on his face but his lips quivered and his expression broke down, he let out a loud sob and backed off, trembling.
The sound and the action worried H enough to push him to stand up, tears falling down his face, wings unfurled at the eyes in them ached too since those could not cry.
Fundy stared at him, black tears falling constantly and tail lashing out in pure panic.
Both looked at each other in this horrible state but both remained frozen.
“F-Fundy-” H was the first to try and do something, taking a step forward.
Fundy took a step backward.
“Wait… w-wait Fundy-“ H tried again.
“Fuck off!” Fundy yelled, baring his fangs.
“Wait!”
“Fuck off!” Fundy yelled again, hastily taking his jacket off and throwing it on the floor before scurrying into the kitchen.
“Fundy!” H called out and ran after him. Slaming against the door Fundy closed on his face.
“Don’t play with me!” Fundy yelled from the other side.
“I'm not!”
“Shut up!”
“Fundy-“
“Shut up shut up!” Fundy cried out, and a thud followed which prompted painful wails at the other side of the door.
H miracled the ceiling and walls to keep the sound confined to the first floor. Yogi shouldn’t be exposed to this, and it would only scare nearby humans. But he stayed and heard, it was his fault this was happening and if anyone should acknowledge the grief Fundy was going through it was him.
H couldn’t stop his tears as he rested against the door. No attempt to say something out loud was successful and any time he managed to collect himself the labored breaths at the other side of the door followed by more wails made him want to crumple in on himself.
Angels were told how to deal with human emotions, but only concerning their job. Usually, the apparition of an angel caused some tears that were quickly quelled.
He’d provoke this, he didn’t know how to stop it. Not even the experience that made him worthy of a principality title prepared him how to deal with this. He felt guilty and powerless.
Now it made sense why humans acted so upset whenever he’d found them crying. It left no other option, the need to cry took over you and interrupted everything else. He let out a low sound to remedy his state. It was a whimper.
Why were beings made to experience something like this? What sort of punishment was this?
He took a deep breath. There were no lungs to fill but if it worked for humans it had to do something for him. It did not, but he closed the remaining distance to the kitchen door. “Fundy-” he tried again.
“What games did they tell you to play with me!?” Fundy tried to yell, but it came out as a sorrowful watery cry.
“N-none…”
Did Fundy think he was the one deceiving him?
“Bullshit!” He yelled. “Why would an angel of all beings ever… miss…” his voice got quieter, small. Too small for someone like Fundy.”- ever miss…me?”
“I…Because I… I-” H rested his halo against the door, defeated, he’d explain. That was all he could do. “I care… about you Fundy… and I want you to care about me… and…” Hbomb closed his eyes to try and compose himself. He shook his head and looked to the side. “I crave to be close to you…” he gritted his teeth at the admission. It wasn’t painful to say it out loud, in fact, a lot of the pain he’d been in suddenly vanished. It didn’t make it an easy thing regardless.
“W-what?”
“I want to be close… with you… Fundy” He repeated. “Please…” he fell to his knees. He couldn’t help but keep falling on blasphemy. Even if he couldn’t call it that, not when the choir refused to condemn him. “Please.”
Only a feeble wooden door stood in the way, he could burn it easily, but somehow it felt like he was resting against the weight of an entire universe determined to keep him away.
“H…” Fundy said. He still sounded agitated “Are- are you lying?”
“No.” He shook his head. “No… I’m… I’m being honest and I’m scared… this is all very new…”
H waited. He could listen to Fundy’s shaky breathing at the other side of the door. It didn’t even out but it could easily break into sobs at the slightest push.
“Why… why are you scared H?” Fundy asked. It sounded like he was making an effort to keep his tone steady.
“I’m scared of …Wanting… I… I suppose, I’ve… never wanted something like this”
“Oh…” Fundy sounded in pain. “Right…heaven and being pure and having no selfish desires” Fundy laughed, it was a joyless laugh, it edged on mockery. “I suppose wanting to be close to a demon isn’t very v-virtuous either…”
“Somehow it… it isn’t wrong. If it was I’d be punished for it, but I haven’t”
“Great! Glad to know you are not being punished just for wanting to be close to me… that is awesome,” Fundy replied sarcastically, fighting back a sob.
“I’m-”
“I’m not here for you to navigate whatever… it is you are trying to navigate with heaven. Okay?” Fundy complained but he was about to cry again.
“That’s not what I meant,” Hbomb said softly.
“Then what do YOU mean H?” Fundy demanded.
“That… That I am confused about what is happening, and how I am feeling. As far as I know, I should have fallen… and I haven’t. And I didn’t think angels could feel like this… or cry… but I am. That is confusing. What isn’t is you are a demon that is warm… and kind and gentle and will hold a little human with care… and who has… shown more affection to me than anyone…” H said placing his hands against the door, struggling to talk. “I don’t think… anyone knows me… but you… and I would like it if you held me.”
It was a lot to admit. Too much to admit, but it felt like it needed saying. Or at least it felt like that for a couple of seconds until the silence at the other side of the door got too long. Any relief H felt was buried under a new surge of panic. Was that not the right thing to do?
“Fundy?”
Only the shallow breathing on the other side answered.
Was spending too much time on earth and in a human shell affecting him? He knew little time was passing but it felt so so long. That didn’t make sense, but it was something humans often described. Maybe this whole situation had more to do with that-
“Don’t think you know what you are talking about H,” Fundy replied suddenly. He sounded calmer, still the deep inhales he was taking were audible.
“What do you mean?”
“You didn’t say anything about me… why do you want my company H?” Fundy asked and exhaled loudly. “Because I'm the only one to make you feel like that? Because of what I can do for you?”
H blinked surprised.
“No-”
“If you never saw colors and one day the sky became blue. Can you be honest when you say blue is your favorite color? No. No, you can’t. It’s the only color you’ve seen.” Fundy said.
“I… I see…” He had not considered that angle at all. So, was he being selfish? That was the implication here.
And yet damnation didn’t come, probably because he felt awful about it?
“I… I apologize for… worrying you… and burdening you with all this…” H said as he backed off from the door. “That… that was all that was making me act weirdly… I’ll keep away… as much as my duties allow,” tears welled up again. Maybe this was his punishment for drifting from how he was supposed to be.
No reply came. H waited by the door for a while but Fundy didn’t reply or clarify anything, so H walked away. On his way out he crossed back through the living room and stopped to see Fundy’s jacket still thrown in the floor. It wasn’t smoking anymore but the edges of the sleeves were burnt off same as the collar. H stopped to grab it. He contemplated it for a while before restoring it with his magic and folding it to leave it on the couch. He didn’t know how to sew like Fundy but he hoped it would be enough.
At least something to remedy all of this. If it could be remedied. How was he qualified to be a principality again?
H walked towards the door willing to find a place to sit his shell in and let the storm wash over him maybe that awful feeling would make all the others go away. Maybe he’d be able to think more clearly and find an excuse to remain in heaven for a while to stay away from his shell and maybe see some of this would go away too. Perhaps that's why the choir had remained quiet, because all of this was caused by his shell and it wasn’t a fault within his light?
He paused in front of the door seeing the remnants of golden tears running down his shirt and he had to make the conscious decision to trap himself back in his shell before leaving.
It was not a problem brought on by his shell. He walked back to the seat where he’d left his jacket and boots and put them on again before leaving. Thankfully he found the storm raging on when he opened the door. It wouldn’t be any good for the immediate affairs of the city, but the sound was oddly comforting. He hadn’t noticed that on his way here. Maybe that is why he’d found Fundy and Yogi sleeping with all curtains closed, it seemed like very good conditions to sleep.
He looked back to the house, yearning to be held. He sighed and looked forward. He walked down the porch and stared around trying to decide where to go. If he went and left his shell at a park for too long it would be removed eventually. Maybe a library? He wouldn’t get drenched under the rain if he went to a library and he was warming up to that idea so maybe he’d just walk the city until sunset and then seat his shell on a rooftop away from where humans could reach.
He walked east just because. After a couple of blocks, he realized he could pass by the old brick building and wait on its terrace as the rain passed. The rain would probably be too bothersome for humans to attempt to remove him from there. He headed there.
“Hbomb!”
H stopped and looked back. The rain was very loud but he still heard his name being called clearly. He walked back a couple of steps in time to see a figure approaching. It was clearly looking for him as he called out his name again.
“…. Fundy?” He wondered.
The figure came into focus as he approached. Without the dense curtain of water getting in his way, H could see it was Fundy. He had put on his jacket again and had his form fully concealed inside his shell, still there were black tear marks running down his face. Fundy slowed down as soon as he saw him, but he kept approaching until he didn’t. Keeping some steps away while breathing heavily. He looked distraught.
H didn’t move from where he stood, and neither did Fundy. Both remained in place while the rain poured over them. If Fundy had followed him here but now stopped and wasn’t yelling at him then he might be there to have a more leveled conversation? He could be trying to keep a low profile as they were outside even if the chances of humans stopping to look at them were low. Whatever the reason he held his breath, worried about what followed now.
Fundy stayed put, but he did clench his fists and looked away. He didn’t say anything for a while. Hbomb didn’t move unsure what to do right now, and he would have stayed quiet if the unnerving lack of clarity wasn’t bothering him.
“Fundy… I’m… I’m confused…-”
“You left…” Fundy replied, turning to look at him.
“I… I thought that would be best… I… I upseted you…”
“You-” Fundy stopped himself, looking away and sighing. “Yes… yes I’m… upset and I’m confused… and I shouldn’t have acted like that…I-“ he turned to look at him again. “I… I didn’t think you’d leave… so fast…”
“B-but… but I made you upset… it was best I stay-“
“It was best if you didn’t run away!” Fundy scolded him, but tears quickly broke through his anger and he recoiled, as if in pain. “I’m… you don’t know how to deal with these things… and I’m… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t pin this on you,” he hid his face in his hands. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry H… please don’t leave,” he was about to sob.
“I’ll stay,” H reassured and approached him. “Let's go back and take some time… right now we should-“
Fundy didn’t let him finish. He threw himself at H and enveloped him in a hug. H gasped.
“I’m sorry…” Fundy apologized, pressing his face against H’s chest. “I’m so sorry,”
H didn’t move. What was he supposed to do now?
He let out a very slow sigh as unknown and very overwhelming feelings quickly surged through him and he had no idea how to deal with them.
Fundy cried again, it was muffled against his chest.
Without direction and all the uncertainty he enveloped Fundy in a hug. Letting out a shaky breath when Fundy tighten the hug.
“This… this is so scary…” he whispered.
Fundy tried to back off to look at him but H held on.
“No… no please…” he implored.
“Shh.. okay.. okay calm down…” Fundy said, softly.
H tightened the hug some more while he tried to keep himself calm.
“O-okay.. whoa you are… you are strong… hm.. okay and your shirt is…wet.. so let’s…yeah lets go back inside…” Fundy agrees.
H nodded before letting him go. Fundy took a step back and looked up to him. It made the ache in his chest hurt more. How did humans live like this?
Despite suggesting they go back inside Fundy didn’t make another attempt to leave, instead staring intensely at him. Hbomb felt his shell burn up, especially his face. He brought a hand to his cheek but didn’t feel anything out of order.
“Oh.. that.. you wouldn't know about blushing would you?” Fundy said, curious.
“N-no?”
Fundy stared at him for longer before bringing his hands to H’s face and cupping his face. It only made H blush more, but Fundy didn’t stop what he was doing, instead getting a hold of H’s face and announcing in a serious tone. “H please tell me this is real… and that you aren’t doing this to hurt me.”
“It… it is real…” H replied.
Fundy stared at him for a moment longer.
“Are… are you also afraid?” H asked.
Fundy let him go to walk ahead of him back to Yogi’s house.
“Fundy?”
“Not in the same way as you…. But I am…” Fundy replied, not looking back.
H wasn’t sure what to make out of that.
“Why do you want to be held H?” Fundy asked.
“I… I want to feel cared for…” H replied.
Fundy let out a drawn-out sigh but kept walking.
“Fundy?”
“I’m trying to process all of this…” he murmured.
“What… what do you want…?” H asked.
“… More than what you want…” Fundy admitted. “ I’m a demon after all… I’m greedy and not virtuous… and I crave a whole lot more than you…” he stopped walking to turn and look at Hbomb. “But then I don’t know if your limits are self-imposed or because you lack knowledge when it comes to these matters… and I’m afraid you'll hurt me… so for now my wants reach just as far as yours.”
Hbomb looked at him perplexed. “I’m… not sure I understand.”
Fundy brought his hand to rest on his forehead and he sighed. “I’ll… I’ll clarify it… not here.”
Hbomb nodded.
They remained silent the rest of the walk back to the house. Not even after closing the door behind them did they talk, with Fundy utilizing his magic to make himself dry and leaving his boots by the entrance.
H simply stood beside the door wondering what happened now, he kept his eyes trained on Fundy while waiting.
Eventually, Fundy turned to look at him.
“Won’t you dry yourself?” He asked.
H miracle himself without breaking eye contact with Fundy who stared back at him just as intensely but neither of them moved. H wasn’t sure what happened now, but waiting in a dimmed living room with the sound of rain crashing all around them made it far too significant and difficult to ignore that whatever happened would affect them both gravely, one way or another. Maybe Fundy was weighing his options, maybe he didn’t know what to do either. Maybe they would stay there until Yogi woke up and they had to revert to how things were.
“Fundy?” He asked out loud, what else could he do?
Fundy glanced at him before walking towards the stairs. “Let's go to your room, there is more space for your wings there…”
H followed without a word. Removing the miracle keeping sound trapped in the first floor and stepping inside his room after Fundy opened the door.
“Right… I forget you don’t… furnish…” Fundy said behind him, closing the door and sighing, horns and scales breaking out of his shell again, he plopped down on the bed looking very tired.
H didn’t move.
“Get out of… all of that,” Fundy gestured.
“My jacket?”
“And your shoes and your shell.”
“I… I’d like to stay in my shell…” H murmured.
Fundy groaned annoyed and propped himself up to look at H. “Okay… but take off your shoes and your jacket and lay down… and stop staring…”
H nodded and removed his jacket. “Sorry… I just… don’t know what… to do right now…”
Fundy plopped down again frustrated. “It’s… it’s not your fault H…” he said in a gentler tone.
H took off his boots as well and carefully sat down on the other side of the bed. Fundy had instructed to law down but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why but he felt it would be significant, like it would lead him down a monumental change. Were these the inklings of doom at last manifesting? Was he about to fall?
“Come on…” Fundy cooed, placing a gentle claw on H’s back, making him jump. “You could easily evaporate me… you'll be fine… “ he ran his hand slowly and gently up and down H’s spine, caressing him for the first time in his life.
H let out a shaky breath and relaxed against the touch but he didn’t lie down. This was the closest situation he could picture when he thought about the word “tempting” when it came to demons. And yet his halo remained quiet.
Fundy kept on pampering him, going from a slow broad stroke to flutter light touches across H’s shoulders. He could feel the claws gracing his skin and not once did they get close to even threatening to break his skin.
H breathed heavily, it did nothing to ease the very new and foreign feelings nestling within his shell but it was the only outlet he had.
“H… lay down…” Fundy insisted.
Hbomb tried to speak but he couldn’t formulate words now. “Mmh…” was the best he managed.
Fundy sighed and placed his open palm on the small of H’s back, and left it there. “Or is this enough for you?”
H’s breath caught in his throat and he glanced over his shoulder to Fundy, who was laying down comfortably and looked back at him with lidded eyes. It almost didn’t look like he wasn’t staring back, but H could feel his eyes on him.
“So?” Fundy asked.
H didn’t move for a moment longer making sure he wouldn’t be damned all of a sudden. No signs of that being the case manifested this time either so he sighed and laid down, keeping his back to Fundy, who kept his hand on his back.
“Are you comfortable like that?” Fundy asked.
H tenses up feeling his words closer. “Y-yes…”
“Okay… just to make sure if you break out of your shell like this you’ll smack me in the face with your wings… so keep that in mind…”
“Should… should I turn around?” H asked.
“… if you want…” Fundy whispered, tone gentle but H could distinguish some underlying infliction on his voice that made it sound, inviting?
“I…” Why did it feel even more dangerous to turn around, he was already lying beside a demon wishing he’d hold him. He hummed and turned around.
“Oh!” Fundy was caught by surprise, expression immediately softening. It didn’t settle in a smile but it was incredibly tender. “Hello…”
“… Hi…” H replied in a small voice.
Fundy lifted his hand from the mattress and gently approached it to H’s shoulder, and seeing as H didn’t recoil he laid it down on his shoulder.
“Are you still scared?” Fundy asked.
H nodded. “You?”
“Hm… a little bit…” he closed his eyes and sighed.
H stared intently.
“Did you mean it?” Fundy asked without opening his eyes.
“What?”
“That you wanted to be held?”
“Yeah…”
Fundy opened his eyes to look at him, “then don’t freak out, okay?”
H nodded but tenses up as soon as Fundy leaned in.
“Shh.. calm down…” Fundy said while sliding the hand he was resting on H’s shoulder further until he could bend his arm to hug H.
H held his breath.
“Calm down,” Fundy insisted, bringing himself closer at the same time he slotted himself in such a way that H’s head would rest against his chest while he closed the hug by sliding his other arm underneath H’s neck. Once he completed the loop he rested his head against H’s and sighed.
“You are being held now…” he murmured.
H let out a shaky breath, feeling Fundy’s warm body flushed against his, being very aware of his breathing and being encased between Fundy’s arms was overwhelming. He could even smell now an orange fragrance that was trying to hide the smell of brimstone intrinsic to demons. And he was still there, lying down, rigid as a statue, being held by a demon, and he hadn’t fallen.
He was still here. He had not fallen. He wasn’t doomed. He tries to glance up to Fundy but couldn’t.
“I… I think I’m panicking a bit…” he admitted.
“Hm… should I let go?” Fundy asked.
“N-no… no… but-“ he took a deep breath. “I don’t… get why I’m panicking…”
“Okay… I have an idea so.. again… try not to panic.. not more than you are now…”
“O-okay…” H nodded.
Fundy let go of Hbomb, he sat down and summoned a very soft blanket over them, before laying back down and resting his face on H’s face and encasing him in a hug again.
“U-uhm-“
“Shh…” Fundy snuggled as close as he could. “Try slow breaths… okay?”
H nodded but he screwed his eyes closed as Fundy insisted on getting as close to him as possible before sighing and purring. The low hum and the vibrations felt against his chest were reminiscent of an angelic tune reverberating through his halo. He wasn’t sure how since this was completely different but it immediately made him relax and go slack.
Fundy let out a relieved sigh and snuggled even closer, grabbing onto H’s side while tapping his tail against the mattress.
The warmth and softness surrounding H and the fact he had yet to even be chastised for all of this convinced him to relax. Closing his eyes gently and attached himself to every sensation his shell was experiencing. It was unlike anything he’d felt before and strangest of all, it was peaceful. Not something he’d associate with a demon but it was undeniable now.
He opened his eyes and glanced at Fundy, he could only see his hair and horns from the way he rested his head against his chest. So he looked up to the ceiling focusing on breathing slowly and the low rumbling reverberating through him, he felt the tension within his shell building up. It wasn’t the panic from before nor was it doom, it was all-encompassing but pleasant, and difficult to ignore. He sighed and allowed his wings and hallo to break out of his shell to see if it would ease him. It did not.
“Hm?” Fundy spoke up. “Weren’t you going to stay on your shell?”
“I’m… I feel this… tightness in my chest…”
“Ah… you can also hold me H, don’t know if it would help… Maybe…”
“Oh… would… would that be okay…?”
“Yes… I’d like you to hold me in fact.” Fundy admitted.
H passed his hand over Fundy’s shoulder until it rested on his back and pulled him closer trying to mimic what Fundy had done. Fundy hummed pleased and rested his head against his chest again and purred once more, much stronger now while his tail swished happily against the mattress.
H hadn’t realized demons had such animalistic body language, he knew them as beasts yes, but holding a demon and having him wag his tail happily while purring reframed much of that impression. Did angels have such behaviors too? He thought about it but couldn’t think about one, aside from harmonizing together and gentle words they didn’t express affection in such a physical way.
He was surprised by Fundy hooking one of his legs over his.
“Fundy…?” H asked softly.
“No?” Fundy asked back.
“It’s… it’s okay… it just surprised me…”
Fundy hummed again, “How is being held by a fiend like me going for you?”
“It’s… going… well,” Hbomb replied.
“... are you enjoying it?”
“I… I believe so… this is… is very pleasant yes…” H took a deep breath, “I’m… this is still very uncharted territory for me… I’m not sure how to express myself more clearly.”
“It’s okay…” Fundy assured. “Do angels sleep?”
“No. We do not…”
“Are you able to sleep?”
“I am… I simply never do it…”
“Okay… I’m going to sleep, you can join in too if you’d like.”
“Oh… should I let go of y-”
“No.” Fundy cut him off. “Stay there… stay here.”
H could sense some tension in Fundy’s town.
“I’ll… I’ll stay… are… are you enjoying this?”
Fundy sighed. “Yes… more than I thought, that’s why I’m going to fall asleep so I don’t push you more.”
He’d thought about this before?
“Push me in what sense?” H asked.
“Beyond what you want…”
“I don’t-”
“We are dealing with very earthly emotions here H… and you are adjusting so let's not rush it… okay?” Fundy’s tone got serious.
“I… I understand that and I appreciate it… but you told me to leave… citing my non-acknowledgment of your position in all of this… so I think is important-”
“Do not do this to me Hbomb…” Fundy whispered, “ You’ll stumble into something you don’t like and regret all of this and hurt me… just like I feared… so don’t…” his tone trembling between venomous and awfully sad.
“Ah… I… I’m sorry Fundy… I keep upsetting you…”
“You don’t mean to upset me… you just don’t know better…” Fundy shook his head. “I’m going to sleep.”
“...Fundy-”
“Don’t insist-”
“This requires a lot of trust-”
“I will stand up and leave you here if you-”
“You can tell me, I want us to be on equal footing-”
Fundy withdrew and turned to look at him, frowning, “You say that right now but I am certain you won’t be saying the same if I explain myself, so stop it.”
H sat down. “Wait but-”
“I’m asking you to stop!” Fundy snapped.
Hbomb recoiled and stayed quiet.
Fundy huffed but quickly his expression fell, eyebrows knit together in a frown. “H… I’m sorry…”
“I pushed…” H replied.
Fundy hid his face behind his hands before letting out a very loud sob, he slammed his hands against the mattress and growled, tears falling yet again. “Why did he do this to me?!”
H backed off surprised but didn’t move more than that, recognizing this didn’t seem to be an issue with him, instead, he miracle the door locked and another bubble to keep sound confined to this room.
Fundy let himself fall against the bed and sobbed loudly. H waited for a moment longer before grabbing the blanket Fundy had conjured and going around the bed and sitting beside him, encasing him with the blanket and hugging him.
Fundy recoiled initially but he looked up, dark eyes with orange iris staring pitifully at him, before Fundy keeled over and crashed against him, holding onto him desperately. H held him tightly, recognizing now the pattern of him pushing away out of fear even if he didn’t want to be alone.
“I’m sorry… I’m- why would you… ever… stay… for me… I’m just like him… he ruined me…” Fundy sputtered between cries.
“I’d miss you… I’d miss you so much Fundy…” H whispered. “I think about not seeing you or Yogi again and I’m saddened beyond what I thought possible…and… and I care about you…” he admitted out loud for the first time. “I don’t think I’ve ever cared and… and yearned for another being like this…and…”
Fundy yanked away from the hug just to hold H’s face. Staring at him eyes blown wide, desperately. H stared back, concerned.
“Fundy-”
Fundy remained, staring at him unblinking. If he wasn’t morphing out of his shell already, Hbomb would have concluded Fundy was trying to dig his light out of his shell just by looking at him. He trembled slightly but didn’t give up, H just looked back, feeling the tension in his chest mounting again.
“What-” H tried to ask.
“I want to kiss you… I want to hold you… I want you to pin me down… I love you… I want you H,” Fundy admitted. “Much like humans love each other in the face of this… stupid wretched world.”
Love. It was a question of love all this time and everything it encompassed. A vast universe Hbomb had never been privy to, only seeing humans indulge in it, be broken by it, be redeemed by it, be changed by it. He thought it was reserved just for mortals, that something about their limited life spans forced them to feel love. He was always diligent, eager to excel, and concerned with protecting those under his care, but he’d never loved any of them.
Could he love? Should he love? And should he love a demon? Should a demon love an angel? If Fundy could love him, and he had not been condemned and fallen, then it didn’t seem it was that contrary to their natures. Would it even matter if it was?
H mirrored Fundy’s gesture, reaching to hold his face in turn.
“I… I don’t think I know enough about love to… so it's fair to you Fundy…” he admitted. “But… I can learn… I’d… I’d like to learn…” he offered.
Fundy’s expression scrunched up in a grimace and he leaned forward to hide his face against H’s shoulder, without letting go of him.
H was forced to let go but he hugged him again. It made sense, it was probably a lot for Fundy to assimilate. Actions and expressions in the last hours suddenly made much more sense, and it was odd, how quickly he could adapt to this. Nothing he’d learned today pointed towards this being alien to them, and to him, especially as an angel. Could be celestial beings weren’t meant to shed so much of earthly facets off themselves, and that's why the chorus had remained quiet?
“H…” Fundy called out, weakly.
Hbomb stared down even if he couldn’t look at Fundy. “Yes?”
“Do… do you mean it?”
“That… that I wish to learn? Yes… yes, I do mean it…”
Fundy exhaled loudly a couple of times before daring to look at him, he still frowned but he had a much calm air to him.
“Are you alright?” H asked.
Fundy sniffed and wiped his nose not unlike a human would do before nodding. “This… this is something that… has nothing to do with you… I’m… I’m sorry again…”
“I think… a lot that has transpired today doesn’t have to do with us… as individuals… really…” H replied. “We are not humans after all…”
Fundy gave him a look over and looked away. “Clearly we are not…” he let out a sour laugh before smiling sadly. “If we were… this wouldn’t be so difficult…”
Hbomb frowned. He was right, but it didn’t make it any more bleak.
“You said… you’d be promoted… and leave in five years?” Fundy asked.
“Yes…” H recognized it wasn’t long, “I… I might be able to extend my stay at least for as long as Yogi’s life span lasts.”
“That’s… that’s enough…” Fundy let out another long sigh. “That can probably be enough…”
It wasn’t that long either. Not for them. And that was wishful thinking.
“I don’t think… I can compose myself… knowing there is an end,” H added.
“It's quite easy…” Fundy backed off and stood up, still holding the blanket H draped over him. Once on his feet, he offered Hbomb a hand to help him pull him up. H took it and stood up.
Fundy stared up at him and placed a careful hand on his chest. “We do the same thing humans do… and try and… focus on what goes on now…”
“I’m… starting to understand better why they always seem to be scared…” H said.
Fundy tilted his head amused. “Yes… seeing such a tall figure that is kind of human but has so many eyes and light coming off it is probably scary…”
H frowned, “No… no that's not what I meant-”
“I know,” Fundy admitted lightly and took a step closer to him.
The all-encompassing feeling accompanied by the tension that had accumulated in his chest returned H just like that.
“I’m buying myself time…”
“For what?” H asked.
“To ask… before we try the cuddling thing again… to ask if-”
“Cuddling?”
Fundy huffed. “Yes, cuddling… that thing about laying down together and holding each other?”
“Oh! That was cuddling…” H realized. “I’ve seen humans… doesn’t mean I know the names of each… thing…”
“Kissing, do you know it?”
H gasped quietly and felt his face burning again, he was blushing again.
“Okay… maybe you aren’t as clueless… as I initially thought…” Fundy said, before taking another step closer to H. “Then can I kiss-”
“Yes.”
Both were surprised by H’s bold admission, and both blushed, even if H fared much worse than Fundy.
Now came an emotion he was familiar with, embarrassment. Even if he’d only experienced it second hand by being witness to some honest human idiocy. Fundy’s surprise quickly turned to fondness, even if he still looked sad with black trails running down his face. H had to look away because he felt himself blushing even more.
“Can I kiss you then?” Fundy asked.
“Uhm…hm…” H nodded timidly and turned to face Fundy, who closed the distance immediately and pressed his lips gently against his.
It was just a peck and it was over before H could really process it, he stared at Fundy who went back and sat on the bed with all the intention to lie down.
“I… still feel is best if I don’t push…” Fundy said while grabbing the blanket to leave a space for H to lie down as well.
H obliged, laying down with less doubts now, and not flinching when Fundy threw the blanket over him and once again cozied up beside him.
“I… don’t think I get it… how will this help…”
“You get to enjoy it…” Fundy replied, once again passing his arm over H’s side to bring him close in for a hug.
H allowed him to move more easily now and returned the gesture quickly, finding himself encased in Fundy’s arms again. Uncertainty still loomed over both of them but at least this was peaceful and quiet, just like the first attempt. Although he could tell Fundy was more relaxed now despite having gone through a whole other crisis just then, he tried grabbing onto him far more generously and pulling him much closer, H allowed it, only getting surprised after Fundy’s tail wrapped around the leg he hadn’t pinned down. He was by all means hold.
H stared at Fundy once again, seeing only his hair and horns again, before closing his eyes and sighing.
“Try and sleep now,” Fundy suggested, “I think we have about 30 minutes before Yogi wakes up and demands pizza.”
Right, Yogi. H removed the miracle from the room so the kid wouldn’t wander off wondering where they went. It was odd to just go back and focus on such things. But there wasn’t much else he could do at the moment aside from move around to get as comfortable as possible and let out another sigh to try and sleep. It didn’t take long for Fundy to start purring again, it did make it easier to fall asleep for the first time in his life.
Caliras Wed 20 Nov 2024 12:05PM UTC
Last Edited Wed 20 Nov 2024 12:07PM UTC
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