Chapter Text
“Hey, wake up, we are here.”
She heard a voice, but she didn’t have the force to open her eyes. She was so tired. When was the last time she slept this nice? Maybe when she was five years old… When mom used to sing that lullaby she sometimes also hummed in moments of distraction, or when dad tucked her in bed with some plushie long forgotten. She sighed, opening her eyes to watch Sevika. She looked immediately to her right, her heart making those weird jumps every time she saw Isha. The kid was sleeping so comfy, she didn’t want to wake her up, but they were here.
“Isha, we just landed on the moon and aliens are eating the car.” She said in a hushed voice, the fake terror but true excitement was in her words, waiting for her to open her eyes. She received a sleepy look, which conveyed an unimpressed look.
The kid didn’t take long to snap out of her sleep, looking outside the window of the car with the innate curiosity of kiddos. She decided to do the same, savoring the sun in her face. It was warm and blinding, even though she hated summers like this when you sweat like a pig, it was more welcome than the hard winters. Winters not only meant cold and sickness and death, but also darkness… and the darkness hid the monsters she had worked so hard to erase from her life.
“How much?” She asked after a moment of silence, looking at Sevika, who was watching her phone, focus on some shit, probably to see some message.
“200, it’s the cheapest I could bargain.” She said, raising her gaze to look her in the eye through the rearview mirror.
“That’s okay, I have… The money he left for me.” She averted her gaze. “But I will need the ID soon to apply for something.”
“Yeah, but I told you those documents will not be ready soon, so you are gonna work for me, in the tattoo shop.”
“Yeah yeah, got it big oaf, but I also will need money for other things, and a second job it’s what I’m gonna need.” She huffed.
“One step at a time, Jinx.” She said with that voice of hers, trying to be serious and mature and grown up… She appreciated it, even if she just mimicked her, making Isha giggle a little.
She smiled at the kid and with renewed energy, she made an exaggerated reverence. “So, shall we go to see our new palace?” She winked at her, receiving an enthusiastic sound of affirmation in response.
“It looks too decent to be Zaun's place to live.” She said to Sevika, watching the building, suspicious.
How could she begin to describe this place? It looks okay on the outside, it was just a big gray building and yeah, it was in better conditions that she would give the credit for. It had eight floors, so it wasn’t really gigantic but it wasn’t small either.
“This place has a rooftop and I have the keys for it.” Sevika smirked while giving this information, Isha letting out an ‘ooh’ sound, making the ogre proud of herself… Show off.
“I’ll hope for a set too then.” She declared, the three walking to the entrance.
Well, everything was okay so far, which was a very mega good thing. She pushed the glass door, making sure not to break it with too much force, she didn’t want to break anything… yet. She smiled at Isha, taking her by her shoulders, making sure to be as close as possible. She knew the kid would want to just go running to explore but tough shit, they are gonna wait.
“Jinx.” She turned around, looking at Sevika, again that tone of voice, so severe. “Let me do the talk, alright?”
She sighed, trying to find a way to reproach, she wasn’t a little kid! She turned eighteen five months ago! She wanted to make herself notice that she could handle this, but all the protests died on her tongue when a guy appeared out of nowhere, making Isha hide behind her legs, peeking at the side. Her hand, without noticing went to have her still behind her.
“Sevika! Finally, I thought you would never show up!” The guy smiled and his gaze went to her immediately. She didn’t doubt a second he was analyzing her, so she did the same.
“Leo, this is Janna and Ann, my cousin and her kid.” She froze and looked at the woman… She was hallucinating again? But she took her pills! All of them even though they were disgusting. Maybe she died on the way here and this was Silco’s way to welcome her to hell?... Nah, Isha would never be in hell in the first place. But they never discussed this… this lie!
“Janna? Like the God Janna?” The guy looked at her, suspicious on his face.
“Yeah, my parents… Well, they used to pray for her everyday.” She put on her best face of sorrow, her gaze longing and empty. “It’s a gifted name and I honor it everyday, sir. And this is my sweet little Ann. I had her very young but she’s well behaved.”
Thanks Janna for Isha, who put a sweet expression on her face. They probably looked like the typical family of Zaun, escaping a very poor life from the very underground to the top. She looked at the guy, who was already on her webs… Heh, Sevika wasn’t so wrong after all.
“Pleasure to meet both of you.” He said, his posture relaxing and grabbing from his pocket something. “Your apartment is on the second floor, in front of Sevika’s, that’s alright I imagine?”
“Oh thank you so much sir! I can’t believe we are gonna be together, cousin, after all these years of suffering!” Her tears flooded her cheeks, sobbing against her hands, trying to muffle her giggles. She watched Isha embracing her torso, this is gonna be the best actuation in her fucking life.
“N-No worries, please miss Janna… I’ll be in my office if anything happens.” She could hear his discomfort.
“Don’t worry, she’s just… happy.” Sevika tried to maintain her composure. “I’m gonna bring you the contract later.”
“Alright then… Bye, have a good day, you three.” Jinx could hear his footsteps getting away and she uncovered her face, looking at Sevika with a raised eyebrow and a sardonic smile.
“So, cousin, you couldn’t at least choose another name?”
Remember when she told you all about this freaking amazing building? Well, that was until she was in her apartment.
Alright alright, she has slept in worse conditions than these, but now she has Isha! And the place, yes, it wasn’t bad but there were a lot of wrong things, like the mold in the ceiling and walls, and the windows didn’t have any bars! She can’t risk anyone entering the apartment and robb the place… Maybe if she installed some bars herself… Yeah, she knows her place is on the second floor, but she knows how Zaunites were! She was one! She has robbed places higher than this!
“What do you think, kid?” She looked at Isha, who was at her side, her hand clinging to her own. She looked so little… Yeah, she will need to give her a gun and teach her how to use it properly. Maybe even create one… Oh yeah! How she didn’t think of that? But she will need to look for some things, and they could do it together! And later they would paint it with-
“Uh? Oh, sorry kid, what?” She focused again on Isha, who was watching her with those puppy eyes. She let go of her hand, watching her patiently to start talking with her hands. It really was a hard job for the two -three, counting Sevika- to learn sign language, but it paid off, now Isha could communicate better and Jinx could understand just fine.
“Well, I’m glad to know you consider this a castle.” She couldn’t help but smile, tapping the hat the kid was wearing. “Well, better help the ogre or she’s gonna scream with that stinky breath of hers.” The two giggled mischievously and went to the stairs.
—
After some time, picking and letting boxes, she could watch and analyze the place a little better. Her pink eyes scanned the room, looking at the place, drinking every detail she could catch aside of the mold. The first thing she already hated was the color gray on the walls. That color was so freaking boring, maybe if she painted the walls blue… Or would it be better to use a neutral color? Like beige or something like that. She giggled and shook her head, what was she thinking? Blue is always the best option! The kitchen could be a baby blue and the rest a soft pink… Or hot. Definitely hot.
She made a humming sound, she already had so many ideas of how this apartament was gonna improve. It was very ugly, and small, but it was a good start. The room had a sofa, a little tv which probably was black and white -she could easily give it color though- and a round table with three seats… yeah, this would do. The kitchen was connected with the room, and it had basic things like a mini refrigerator… Wait, mini? Ugh.
Well, it was the only thing Sevika could find and it was very cheap so it was final. Speaking of that ogre-
“Hey, this is the last one, can I have my goddamn beer now?”
The blue haired girl was just about to look at the mini refrigerator thinking how the hell she was gonna put all the ice cream she was planning to buy, when she heard her. She looked up to where Sevika was standing, a box close to her feet and a scowl on her face.
She went first to close the freaking door, she didn’t want any nosy neighbors for the moment… Well, she already had one in front of her. After that, she went to grab the bottle from the cooler on the table and smiled, directly to the big oaf.
“Thank you Sevivi, how can I repay your hard work? Should Isha and I paint your nails again?” She smiled innocently and tossed her the beer bottle, watching amused how the woman catched it effortlessly.
“You can stuck that offer in your-”
“Now, no need to be rude Sevivi! Think about all the love you have for me!”
“Stop calling me that, brat or I’m leaving now.” The woman just sat on that disgusting couch and started drinking! So rude!
“It’s not like you are gonna leave too far away.” She giggled, laughing harder at the face the woman was making. “And also! Now I’m gonna be Janna so it's only fair that I can call you whatever the hell I want.”
The sound of tiny little feet interrupted her, and she sighed, the mischievous smile melting into a little and honest one. Isha didn’t take long in the bathroom so she opened the cooler again, this time grabbing two juice boxes. She made sure to grab a strawberry flavor, the kid loved that fruit so much that it was shocking.
“Mhm, I wonder if someone would want this strawberry juice box? Do you want it, Sev?” She was about to pass it to her, but Isha just went running towards her, taking it from her hands. She laughed at her grumpy face and ruffled her hair, helping her to put the straw in the box.
“Hey there kiddo.”
When Isha smiled so happily, her body did this weird thing she couldn’t comprehend… Like she had so much love for her, her body couldn't keep it down. She started to drink her own juicebox, the room in a comfortable silence. It was weird… She never thought about coming back to this place, it seems like a lifetime has happened since Powder died. Her hand trembled at the thought and she forced herself to not think about that coward… Yeah, no, she had better things to think about. Like Isha.
Her attention snapped back to Sevika, who started to talk on her phone… Oh, she was asking for a pizza! She smiled and nudged Isha to pay attention.
“We want pineapples and bacon.” She announced, amused for the faces she got in response. “What? It’s not as bad as it sounds!” Isha once again shook her head.
“If you don’t shut the hell up I’m gonna let you starve to death.” Isha made a displeased sound. “... Fine, I’ll let her starve for today, is that better?” The woman rolled her eyes.
“Alright alright, I retract, whatever shit it’s fine… except olives.”
“Nobody likes that shit anyways” Sevika murmured, finally returning to her phone and asking for a large pizza.
Jinx guided Isha to the sofa and both plopped down next to Sevika, sighing at the same time. It was a long drive after all and the weariness was taking a toll on them. It was hard to leave everything behind but… It was for the best. Silco was dead and the worst people in the world were looking for them, it was necessary. She looked at the kid, who decided to take off her hat and leave it on the ground.
“Hey.” She whispered with a little smile, nudging her a little. “After dinner, would you rather sleep or practice signs?”
The brown haired girl took a moment to think about it and finally with one finger up, she decided to rest… And she wasn’t against it. Tomorrow they could learn a little more, after all, it was vital for Isha to keep practicing.
“Yeah, I’m also tired… But after we are gonna sleep so well, you’re probably gonna start snoring.” Isha made a little sound to let her know how offended she was. “Yeah! You snored so much that I thought a motorcycle was following us! Like this!”
She leaned back on the couch, her eyes closed and snoring so loudly that Sevika swore and Isha started to giggle uncontrollably. She started to chuckle… How couldn’t she laugh when Isha’s voice was like that? It made her so happy… She never thought she could smile like this, it was like the world was blooming with colors, leaving behind the dull gray. She closed her eyes, feeling… She felt like in a dream. Maybe this could work. This had to work.
Jinx fell in the bed, sighing happily, that was such a nice dinner! Sevika really knew where to get good pizza… Well, it wasn’t like Jericho’s food, but it was still good. The dinner went smoothly, Isha devouring all the slices she could grab and Sevika just explaining how she was gonna get the fake papers soon, but the guy who made the IDs wasn’t answering her calls, so she was gonna pay him a visit tomorrow… Meanwhile, they would have to stay low profile, but that wasn’t a problem for them, at least for now.
She sighed, staring at the ceiling… Soon, once the papers are in her hands, she is gonna start working at Sevika’s tattoo shop, but she will need a second job to make more money. It’s not like she wanted to be a Piltie, all rich and shit, but her medicines were so expensive… She needed them or she was gonna crash.
It was so hard to be diagnosed, but when she was, it all made sense… Basically, she was nuts. She had to take so many things that sometimes she felt dull, empty, but it was for the better, she needed that control for Isha. She couldn’t have a freaking meltdown or she could just… No. No. No. She wasn’t going there. No.
She closed her eyes and felt her chest start to ache and her breath slowly rising, please no! Not now! She is okay, the pills and the names and the doctors, it all made sense. She knew, she knew that coming back here… At Zaun, would bring back so many memories, but she must act like the adult she is. She is eighteen years old, she left behind the fears and the cowardice, her old life couldn’t get her.
She was slowly regaining her composure, when a hand landed on her arm, making her jump and watch Isha with eyes wide open… When did she get here? That little rascal was getting too sneaky for her own good. She felt the shimmer in her bloodstream, in her veins, slowing down and her heartbeat getting back to normal.
“Hey… I didn’t hear you kiddo, sorry.” She whispered, letting Isha hug her. She closed her eyes, hugging her back. Oh… How could she forget this feeling? It was like being embraced with a fuzzy blanket, so warm and lovely. She smiled down at the girl, receiving a brilliant beam. “Did you brush your teeth? If not, I will do it for you and it won’t be pretty.”
She laughed hard when the girl went running to the bathroom, making her grin. It was gonna be a good night, she could feel it in her bones.
After making sure Isha did indeed brush her teeth -and doing the same, thank you very much- both went to their room. The place had only one bedroom, but the bed was big so they could fit just fine. Once she got back from the bathroom, a tender expression appeared in her face. The kid was already in bed, with her eyelids drooping, she was fighting to not sleep, it was dumb, but sweet.
“Hey kiddo” She whispered, finally laying down at her side, making sure Isha is well covered with the covers. “What a day… Well, we are going to sleep tomorrow till noon, how does that sound? Probably Sevika is going to have a fit.” She smiled at how her ambar eyes shone.
But then her own smile disappeared… Stop it Jinx, goddamn, no need to drag Isha into her messy thoughts. It was late though, the kid already was looking at her worried, with that brow furrowed and those eyes which were windows to her soul.
“Sorry, nothing is wrong… It’s just…” A sigh escaped her lips, trying to explain what the hell was happening. “I’m sorry, this place… Is good, but I know it’s not the home we discussed.” She paused and decided to continue “What I’m trying to say is… This place is a dump, and I hate that this is the only place I can give you.”
The silence was overwhelming. Yeah, she should keep her mouth shut next time. She looked at Isha, waiting to see that expression of disgust, like the one she did everytime Powder did something stupid. But her expression changed when it was determination what she found in Isha’s eyes. She watched how the kid started to do some signs and sounds, trying to get her to understand something… Oh.
This time, she was the one who hugged her, closing her eyes. How could she be so dumb? Isha didn’t care, she loved this place because Jinx was with her. They were together and that was the only thing that mattered. She should have known this because it was the same way she felt about all of this. She pulled away from the hug enough to see her, cupping her face in her own hands, memorizing every little detail.
“We are gonna be okay, I promise you Isha.” She would make sure to keep this promise close to her heart and fulfill it.
After a little while, she was just humming waiting for Isha to fall asleep. Once she could hear the relaxed breathing, stood up carefully to look at the window. The full moon greeted her, murmuring in a language she couldn’t comprehend. The moon that was staring at her soul was the same that watched every little detail of her life, so this wasn’t the exception to the rule.
She knew she couldn’t escape from the past forever, it was always in her ear whispering and yelling, calling the name of the kid she once was. She was so close and so far away from everything she declared dead, wanting to grasp her from her heels and drag her to that pool full of hatred and ugliness.
But looking at the moon she made one single declaration.
I will be ready… Maybe not now or tomorrow, but soon I’m gonna look at their eyes and speak. She will face everything just to be happy with Isha and Sevika. No one, not even herself was gonna destroy this.
She went back to bed, ready to sleep and welcoming the dreams she onced escaped from. She wasn’t alone.