Chapter Text
We begin with a big void or something.
In the void, there is a person.
She is bored.
So she decides to stop being bored.
A bunch of contrasting oddballs then appear in the void. We see two of them. One is a man. One is the letter k with a giant eye.
Bearded Man: …. Huh, I appear to be lost.
Black Letter: Etureta-crary.
Bearded Man: I do not believe so, this appears different.
Black Letter: Etureta-crary….
Random Man: I hope so as well.
Black Letter: Etureta-crary!
Bearded Man: Now, that's a little far fetched, I doubt it. Rather-
Suddenly, a piss colored doodle of a face comes crawling in.
Bearded Man: Greetings, odd creature. My name is Karl, and I-
—-
Name - Karl Marx.
From - Reality.
Species - Man.
Philosopher - Of suspicion.
—---
Piss Doodle: Have you ever gotten lost in a black void of eternal nothingness? Well, buy our new Void Location Locator!
The doodle pulls out a random scribble. He then shoves it up the letter’s eye.
Black Letter: Etureta-crary!
Karl Marx: Yeah, that's fair.
Piss Doodle: Thanks for purchasing! That'll be 7000 payments of 7000 dollars!
Brown Creature: Etureta-crary….
Karl Marx: Please do not worry.
Karl gives the doodle a shit load of cash.
Piss Doodle: Thank you, valued customer!
Karl Marx: No problem, strange yellow face.
—----
Cool character introduction.
Name - Yellow Face.
From - Battle For Dream Island.
Species - Doodle.
Business - Shady.
—------
Yellow Face: Now that it's officially purchased, it can start working!
A bunch of numbers appear out of the letter’s eyes.
Black Letter: Etureta-crary!
Yellow Face: It's working correctly! No need to panic, Unown.
—-------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Unown K.
From - Pokémon.
Species - Unown.
Connections - God.
—-----
Karl Marx: How did you know its name?
Yellow Face: I know everything.
Yellow Face takes a good long look at the numbers.
Yellow Face: We’re close to the middle! Just gotta head north, and we'll find something.
Karl Marx: Alright, I suppose I won't doubt that.
The three head off towards the north side of the eternal black void. On their way, they pass a few fellas. One looks like Mickey Mouse. One is a small creature with realistic eyes. And the other is a baby.
Mickey Ripoff: It seems I've reached somewhere unknown…. But I never knew anything anyway….
Odd Thing: Aw, what's with the melancholy?
Mickey Ripoff: There's nothing to not be melancholic about….
The baby does a baby noise.
Mickey Ripoff: …. Except that. It made me happy.
Odd Thing: …. The strange maggot makes you happy, of all things?
—-------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Maggot.
From - Ramshackle.
Species - Holy being.
Recommendation - Don't breed.
—-------
Maggot makes more baby noises.
Mickey Ripoff: This does bring a smile to my dreaded heart…. Unlike you, Karl.
—------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Karl/Marx/Noddy/I’m just calling him Marx.
From - Too Much Kirby.
Species - Human.
Goals - Similar.
—------
Marx: How’d you learn that?
Mickey Ripoff: I’ve been cursed with knowledge….
Marx: Whatever. What are you, anyway?
Mickey Ripoff: It's Mortimer….
—------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Mortimer.
From - Five Nights at Treasure Island.
Species - Toon.
It goes - On and on and on over and over again.
—----
Marx: Alright then. I was busy, anyhow.
Mortimer: Okay….
Marx just leaves.
Mortimer: ….
Maggot makes baby noises.
Mortimer: Good…. Something to bring warmth to this freezing hell….
Then, we see Marx making his way away. He passes by a few more random people. One is a weird fleshy metallic spider thing. One is a young girl with sock puppets on her hands. And the other is a coin.
Metal Spider: -so I kinda just bashed her with a pickaxe until she came back to her senses.
Sock Puppet Girl: Wow, just lak mah parents lak to do!
Living Coin: That's neat and all, but I still haven't told y’all all about the hit new bitcoin-
Metal Spider: No one cares, con artist.
Living Coin: Connie Artist, actually.
—-------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Connie.
From - Cryptoland.
Species - Rubber coin.
Age of consent - Mental maturity.
—-------
Connie: And, may I interest you ladies in applying for tickets to-
Metal Spider: No.
Connie: Just hear me out here-
Metal Spider: No.
Connie: Let me-
Metal Spider: No.
Connie: Alright then.
Connie walks away, bending unnaturally despite being metal.
Sock Puppet Girl: Good riddance.
Metal Spider: Couldn't agree more, kid.
Sock Puppet Girl: It's Lana, by the way.
—---------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Lana.
From - Fundamental Paper Education.
Species - Paper kid.
Luck - Low.
—----------
Metal Spider: Cool. I have a name too.
Lana: That bein’?
Metal Spider: Honestly, it's been so long since I last heard it, I kinda forgot. I think it was Nora, or Mary, or…. No, wait, it was Nori.
—----------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Nori Doorman.
From - Murder Drones.
Species - Worker drone core.
Those things killed - Your freaking mother.
—-------------
Lana: Ya really haven't spoken to anyone en so long?
Nori: Yeah, that happens when everyone thinks you're dead. Hope my man hasn't gone screwing around.
Lana: Right….. Anythin’ else to talk about?
Nori: Like the girl over there?
Nori uses one of her little spider limbs to point out some girl in a jester outfit around the corner, as she walks around aimlessly.
Lana: Is she okay?
Nori: Looks fine to me. Wanna talk about your sock puppets instead?
Lana: …. Oh, do ahh!
As Lana begins rambling, the two fade into the background, and the jester becomes center focus.
Jester Girl: Okay, everything's fine. You don't know where you are, you don't know what's going on…. But it'll be fine, it’ll be fine-
Man: Is everything alright?
Jester Girl: AAHHHH-
She looks over to her right, to find a man’s head on a big cockroach body.
Cockroach Man: Not sure, but you were looking rather distressed, clown girl.
Jester Girl: …. What the [silly sound] are you?
Cockroach Man: Ah, you can see that I, the great Le Mal, have harnessed the power of a cockroach. Impressive, right?
—------------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Maxime Le Mal.
From - Despicable Me 4.
Species - Freak.
Will - Ferrel.
—-------------
Jester Girl: ….. You know, I’ve seen worse. Is this another of Caine’s adventures? What do I do with you?
Maxime: Who are you talking about?
Jester Girl: Nothing, just- Let's get this over with.
Maxime: Couldn't agree more, I have revenge plots to do. What's your name, bouffonne?
Oh god he's French.
Jester Girl: It's…. Really dumb, it doesn't matter.
—--------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Pomni.
From - The Amazing Digital Circus.
Species - Digital Avatar.
Fucked up? - Yes.
—---------
Maxime: I suppose that's fair.
Pomni: Alright, uh, what are we supposed to do?
Maxime: Sadly, even my genius has no ideas.
Pomni: Great….
Maxime: But, we better look around anyway.
Pomni: Better than nothing, I guess….
The unlikely team up makes their way around the eternal void of darkness. Nearby, more people. One is a container of whipped cream. One is a blocky purple sheep. And one is a block.
Contained Cream: -So yeah, that's how cool I am!
Purple Sheep: pUrpLe ShEp cALls bUllshIT.
—--------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Purple Shep.
From - Purple Shep.
Species - Purple Shep.
Head - In toaster.
—-----
Contained Cream: Oh, yeah? How cool are you?
Purple Shep: pUrpLe ShEp is thE grEATesT thiNg in the grEAT wIDe blocky woRld.
—---------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Block.
From - Super Mario Maker.
Species - Brick Block.
Found in - Terrain section.
—--------
Contained Cream: Well, I'm the coolest in the plane, and the coolest in the freezer aisle.
Purple Shep: NoT gOoD enouGH.
Contained Cream: But they're two. That makes it equal.
Purple Shep: OH gOlly, yOu goT mE, crEaMy mAn.
—------
Name - Whippy Creamy.
From - ONE.
Species - Whipped cream container.
Coolness - Unrivaled.
—-----
Whippy Creamy: But, I bet I'm still the cooler one.
Purple Shep: leT’s hAve a cOOl oFf.
Whippy Creamy: Oh yeah, you're on!
The two go to find a better location for their confrontation. Hey can you guess what they pass by. That's right, people. Specifically a fat guy and a regular guy.
Fat Dude: - So, convinced yet?
Some Dude: I see no benefits to what you're offering me.
Fat Dude: Oh, but let me get into the-
Hard cut to a shot of the regular guy's POV. He's seeing the fat guy as a big fat blue penguin in a robe. He sees nothing wrong with this.
Fat Dude: -And that's how you can hide the bodies!
Some Dude: …. Still not buying.
Fat Dude: Damn you!
Then, we see how the regular guy sees himself…. Wait, it's just Marx again.
Far Dude: When I find a weapon, you’ll regret messing with Big Jack Horner!
—-----
Cool character introduction.
Name - Jack Horner.
From - Puss in Boots: The Last Wish.
Species - Fat guy.
Redeemable - Of course not.
—--
Marx: Good luck with that.
Jack storms off. Marx goes to walk away, but is stopped by a shabby doctor with a long nose.
Doctor: Thiiiiiiiiiiink fast!
The doctor-
whipsouttwocirclesoneredonegreen.
Confused, Marx does nothing.
Doctor: Toooo slow!
The doctor puts the things away, before-
puttingthemback.
Marx presses the circle this time.
Doctor: Good job, that was fast!
The doctor walks off, saying one more line.
Doctor: Let me test your reflexes.
—----
Cool character introduction.
Name - Dr. Reflex.
From - Baldi's Basics.
Species - Clay figure.
Tests - Reflexes.
—-
Marx does not care.
Zoom back in on Jack. He walked into a rat.
Rat: I’m interested in what you offer.
Jack Horner: Well, I'm not selling stuff to talking fairy tale animals, so get lost!
Rat: Oh. How upsetting.
Jack Horner: Now, how about you-
Jack is then stabbed in the leg.
Jack Horner: AH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
Rat: I did not do that.
Jack Horner: FUCK YOU!
—--
Name - Ramón.
From - Me.
Species - Rat.
Lying - Never.
—----
Ramón: Okay.
Jack digs the knife out of his leg and throws it away. The rat runs to get it back. On his way, he passes only one person this time.
A woman. She's praying. Avoiding confronting the situation that surrounds her, she prays. Also, she has antlers.
Until, a pitch black hand pats her shoulder. It comes from a stick figure with some fancy pants.
Deer Woman: …. Greetings.
The stick figure doesn't respond, staring down, probably making a notable facial expression, it only he had a face.
Deer Woman: No, I don't know where we’ve found ourselves either.
The stick figure shrugs.
Deer Woman: Well then.
A beat passes.
….
Deer Woman: Who are you?
The stick figure points to his pants, which are fancy.
—
Cool character introduction.
Name - Fancy Pants Man.
From - Fancy Pants Adventures.
Species - Fancy pantsed.
Pants - Fancy.
—--
Deer Woman: Alright, then.
Then, she watches up, as a small wing girl makes her presence known.
Deer Woman: Oh, hello to you too.
The butterfly woman doesn't respond, but she seems content.
More silence passes.
Deer Woman: This is nice.
Anyway back behind them, more people. One is a blue turtle. Another is a volleyball. And you know the other well.
you know this one: SO THEN HE RECOMMENDED THE CHICKEN PARM SO I TRIED THE CHICKEN PARM BUT I GOT A BAD REACTION SO MAYBE I’M ALLERGIC TO THAT CHICKEN OR MAYBE TO PARM-
Literal Volleyball: Hey, uh, MT?
you know this one: YEAH THAT’S ME.
—---
no need for an intro card, you know him.
.—------
Literal Volleyball: Could you, uh, leave?
the one you know: OKAY.
the one you know leaves.
Turtle: Good riddance. Now, my fair maiden, should we-
Literal Volleyball: Hey, look behind you, a better woman!
—-----
Cool character introduction.
Name - Leonard Slater.
From - FreezeFlame22.
Species - Koopa.
Surfboard - To the neck.
—----
Turtle: Where!?
The volleyball clocks him over the head with a crowbar.
Literal Volleyball: Yes, another win for me! Comedy show, here I come!
—--------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Volleyball.
From - Brawl for A YouTube Series.
Species - Ball.
Beloved - The Funny.
—---
Volleyball: …. I don't have any other pranks with me. Guess I'll walk about.
She walks about. She finds nothing.
Volleyball: …. You know, I wish I had company.
the one you know: HEY I’M BACK!
the one you know is then struck by a crowbar.
Volleyball: Other company.
She looks behind herself. There's now a brown penguin there. Or is he orange? Can't tell.
Volleyball: Eh, you’ll do.
Penguin: 🍕.
Volleyball: Nope, I got no pizza.
Penguin: ☹️.
Volleyball: Sad, I know. Anyway, who are you?
Penguin: ….
Volleyball: I’ll take an educated guess, then…. Jeffrey?
Penguin: -.
Volleyball: Smaller? Okay…. Jeffy. Little less.
—-
Cool character introduction.
Name - Lil_Jeffy.
From - Club Penguin Shutdown.
Species - Penguin.
Drugs - Taken before.
—-
Lil_Jeffy: 😀.
Volleyball: First try!
….
Volleyball: Does anything smell crispy to you?
Lil_Jeffy: 🔥?
Volleyball: Yeah, exactly, like-
Volleyball takes a look around to see where the smell comes from. It comes from a woman, who is on fire.
Firey Girl: AAHAGSHAVSJSBSHAHS SOMEONE HELP ME!!!
Volleyball: …. Looks like a load of not my problem.
Volleyball and lil_Jeffy make their way away from the burning girl.
Firey Girl: AGSJASHSHDUSVSJSBJSRGJSVDHRHEHSHDGEHEVDHSHSJWHRJDHEIAGDJRHSIDVRJRVSUVDRHRH-
An object suddenly comes down onto the girl, somehow putting out the fire.
Firey Girl: OH MY GOSH I’M ALIVE!!!
The object becomes clearer. It's alive. It's a brown creature with a flag embedded in its skull.
Brown Thing: Are you alright?
Firey Girl: I AM NOW YAY YAY!
The girl makes a slightly sharp movement. She is now on fire again.
Firey Girl: AHAGAHAGSJSBSJDHWKDBSJSHKSRHWJDHEH
Brown Thing: Dear vellumentals!
The thing does it's headbonk thing again and puts out the fire.
Firey Girl: OMG I’M SAVED!
Brown Thing: No problem, I guess. It's my duty to be proper, unless you're related to the Mario brothers or something.
—
Cool character introduction.
Name - Captain Goomba.
From - Mario and Luigi.
Species - Goomba.
Apocalypse state - Soloed.
—--
Firey Girl: NO I'M NOT I’M Aki.
—---
Cool character introduction.
Name - Aki/ANIME GIRL ON FIRE.
From - character.ai
Species - Human on fire.
Flammability - Insane.
—
Aki: BUT NOW I’M NOT ON FIRE SO
Aki is then lit on fire again.
Aki: DUWBSHRHEHAHGEWUEVUSSSBFUEHDUSKRBKRGSIBRHEAJSKJFJEKSHDJEBDJAJDHRJWHZHWJWRH
Captain Goomba: I am so confused.
Aki: WHYODBWISHTISHDIEBFISRJEKJEJEJFJSRHUEBDJWHRRIRHSKFIRJ
Captain Goomba: I’m just gonna assume this is a good thing. Enjoy yourself, I guess.
Captain Goomba walks away, until he walks into a person. A random kid with a hat.
Captain Goomba: Ow, my- Oh, hello there!
The child stares at him blankly.
Captain Goomba: …. Hello?
Hat Kid: You're an odd looking Pokémon.
Captain Goomba: What did you just call me? I'll have you know, I'm a mighty captain!
Hat Kid: …. Doesn't look like it!
Captain Goomba: Hey! I’ll-
The captain is then struck in the head by a thrown object. It's a small red and white ball.
Captain Goomba: Ow, my delicate head!
Hat Kid: Huh, it didn't catch.
Captain Goomba: Quit messing with me, kid!
—
Cool character introduction.
Name - Ethan.
From - Animation vs Pokémon.
Species - Person.
Respect within the fanbase - Hahahahahahahha.
—
Ethan: Pokémon shouldn't speak.
Captain Goomba: NOT! A! POKERMAN!
Ethan: Pokémon.
Captain Goomba: WHATEVER!
The Goomba walks away.
Ethan: ….
Ethan walks away.
Every character is now introduced.
And most of them are walking
Rainbow: Hey!
Oh, right. There's also a rainbow.
Rainbow: More than just a rainbow, I'm magic!
—---
Cool character introduction.
Name - Chica's Magic Rainbow.
From - FNAF World.
Species - Magic Rainbow.
Owner - No one.
—---
Chica's Magic Rainbow: That's right, it's me! I bet you're all so happy to see me, right? Rhetorical question, you are, don't try to deny it.
Okay moving on.
Chica's Magic Rainbow: HEY! I’m not
Moving on. People have nothing to do except blindly walk around the void. How they haven't all noticed each other? They're blind fucks, I guess. I’m not the writer. Oh right, I am.
AHAHAHAAJAJAH.
Anyway, remember the person from the first sentence? She's there again. And she gracefully-
???: poof.
-causing the twenty eight fellas to all appear in one place.
Lana: -Beh-cuz one day, aah set it own faar, and-
Nori: Kid, focus up, we’re somewhere else now.
lil_jeffy: 🤔.
Captain Goomba: What in the seven star children?
Yellow Face: How convenient, we were getting lost!
Karl Marx: The machine was telling us to go up.
Yellow Face: And you didn't!
Unown: Eutureta-crary.
Ramón: I understand this clearly.
Purple Shep: I do tOo.
Whippy Creamy: No way, bro.
Maxime: What a peculiar circumstance….
Pomni: ….
Ethan: ….
Jack Horner: Who's fucking with me now? You don't know what you're messing with!
Mortimer: I still know the true feeling….
Maggot: Wawawa.
Aki: ASHTNSIDBRIANTHEIFBWJBSEHBDHSRHHRH
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Hey, I'm not done with-
The block is not amused. Neither is the butterfly girl, who I should probably name.
—---
Cool character introduction.
Name - Mary Suess.
From - Zibbity Zab: Bug Buddies.
Species - Unintentionally modified human.
Ability to speak - Inconsistent.
—-----
Back on the ground, Leon and the one you know are waking back up, Volleyball is preparing to strike them again, and the deer girl and Fancy are looking around, like the homies they now are. Oh right I should name the deer too.
—----
Name - SCP-166.
From - SCP Foundation.
Species - Uh.
Father - [ANSWER BLOCKED].
—--
Dr. Reflex: My tests heal what ails ya.
Marx: Who's doing this? Is it you, virus?
???: nah it's me.
Suddenly, the person reveals themselves.
It's a woman.
A very conventionally attractive woman.
???: “hey there's it's me.”
Volleyball: The heck is that?
???: “i’m the host.”
SCP-166: Have you taken us here?
???: “yeah.”
Marx: What do you seek with me?
???: “compete.”
Block: ….
???: “pretty much.”
Karl Marx: Alright, hold on a second. What is your name?
???: “the host.”
Leon: Really?
the host: “yeah.”
Connie: Man, I really am lost in the metaverse.
the host: “alright everybody shut up i’m loredumping.”
the host: “you're here to compete in my hit new competition show your prize is whatever the heck you want.”
the host: “loredump over now speak.”
Nori: Can I not?
the host: “no anyway first challenge time.”
Whippy Creamy: Don't we need teams?
the host: “first challenge time.”
Suddenly, everyone is in the same location. A different location. They are facing a spot that shines brightly within the black void.
the host: “get to that spot and you’re safe. if you don't make it you are up for element animation now go.”
Captain Goomba: Simple enough, go, go, go!
Captain Goomba begins running forwards.
the host: “oh there's a pit by the way if you fall in you lose.”
Captain Goomba looks underneath himself.
There is a pit there.
Captain Goomba: …. Uh oh.
Captain Goomba falls into the pit.
the host: “cap goober is up for elena.”
Yellow Face: Don't worry everyone, for just 573837 payments of 573947488483848475 dollars, you can buy my new Tutorial TV to learn how to cross pits!
Yellow Face holds a big TV above his head, but a gloved hand smacks the TV, causing it to cross the pit.
Yellow Face: No, my product!
Then, the TV turns to static, as Mortimer slowly crawls out of it.
the host: mortgage is safe.
Yellow Face: Hey!
Yellow Face casually flies over the pit in a second.
the host: pee pee head is safe.
Yellow Face: You didn't pay for that!
Mortimer: I did…..
Mortimer gives Yellow Face some fake cartoon money.
Yellow Face: Good! Another satisfied customer.
Back on the other side.
Nori: Well, no time to waste.
Then, Nori’s little spider limbs grab hold of Lana, throwing her across the pit.
Lana: Ow.
the host: “anal is safe.”
Nori: There we go.
Then, Nori began crawling down the pit.
the host: “normal is up for elec”
Nori crawls back up the pit onto the other end.
the host: “normalcy is safe.”
Nori: You good, kid?
Lana: Why’d you do that?
Nori: To cross, obviously.
At the same time, Chica's Magic Rainbow floats across the pit, simple as.
the host: “rainstorm is safe.”
At the same same time, Ethan begins crossing the pit on top of a small purple bat thing, and Maxime uses his cockroach wings to fly across.
Ramón: Hmmm….
Suddenly, with a harsh angle, both the bat and Maxime are sliced down by a thrown knife, falling into the pit.
the host: “ethanol and will ferrel are up for elenor.”
Ramón: Oh no, wonder how that happened. Anyhow.
Ramón throws himself over the pit.
the host: “ramen is safe.”
Mortimer: Why would you feel compelled to do that….
Ramón: It was not me.
Mortimer: ….
Ramón: It was me. It was entertaining.
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Glad to see it!
Then, Mary flew over.
the host: “marilyn is safe.”
Anyway back on the other side, Volleyball is now holding a large trash bag.
Marx: What's in the bag?
Volleyball: Oh, you know…. Trash.
The bag is making noises.
Marx: Doubt it.
Volleyball: It's definitely trash! Just look at all the-
The bag then begins floating, dragging Volleyball with it. They end up crossing the pit.
the host: “unknownk and balls are safe.”
Unown crawls out of the thrash bag.
Volleyball: Hey, get back here! I wasn't done with my cool joke!
A chase ensues.
Meanwhile, Whippy Creamy has gotten on top of the block.
Whippy Creamy: Aight, bet I can make the jump from here.
Purple Shep: I cAn beT a toASTer on yoU nOT.
Whippy Creamy: Watch me. I’m…. About to?
To Whippy Creamy’s surprise, he’s already cleared the gap. The block was dragged by a cursor. Also, Maggot somehow crossed the pit while he wasn't on screen.
the host: “creampie brock and magpie are safe.”
Whippy Creamy: Guess who won?
Purple Shep: Doesn't count.
Whippy Creamy: That's bull, bet you more that you can't make it.
Purple Shep: Bet.
Purple Shep makes it.
the host: “puppet sheet is safe.”
Whippy Creamy: …. Doesn't count.
Purple Shep: BrO.
Meanwhile, Jack Horner has found a suspiciously grenade shaped ball.
Jack Horner: Yo rat guy, I found a weapon, c´mre!
Pomni: I-I think that's a-
lil_jeffy: 🍩❔
jeffy calmly touches the grenade, causing an explosion. This propels him past the gap, and drops Jack Horner into the gap.
Jack Horner: SCREW YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pomni: ….
the host: “jeffrey is safe while big jacking is up for elwood. only two elimate spots left.”
the one you know: ONLY A FEW SPOTS LEFT!? OH BOY I SURE WOULD LOVE TO BE A PART OF THAT GROUP!
MT jumps down the gap as he's known to do.
the host: “empty is up for example. only one spots left.”
Karl Marx: So, any ideas?
Leon: No, but I bet if this sweet deer girl would let me teach her a buck-
SCP-166: Oh, dear lord-
Fancy Pants Man suddenly tosses the dear deer past the gap, and then makes a precise jump past it himself.
the host: “meridian and fancying are safe.”
Leon: Aw, dang it.
Only six remain not past the gap.
Connie: Now, if only there was a seagull to use around. I would love strangling one of those.
Leon: I just wish there was a pretty winged lady to fly me across….
Karl Marx: I suspect an attempt would not go well for me.
Dr. Reflex: …..
Aki is in the back, still on fire.
Suddenly, Reflex begins walking across the gap, casually denying gravity.
Dr. Reflex: Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
He crosses it, stopping in front of 166 and doing his thing.
Dr. Reflex: -iiink fast!
SCP-166: Excuse me?
Dr. Reflex: Too slow!
He puts the buttons back down. As he continues the reflex test, the last five non-crossers stand awkwardly. Except for Aki, she's still on fire.
Pomni: …. I’m not doing that.
Leon: Anyone else wanna take the fall?
Connie: There's too much on the line, my man.
Karl Marx: I suspect it wouldn’t go well.
Marx: I do not care to try.
Leon: Eh, whatever. I'll show my, like, awesome platforming skills!
Leon goes for the jump.
He’s making it….
He's about to do it….
He's so close….
He got absolutely destroyed by a rainbow beam.
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Oh, what a loser!
the host: “and 11037 is up for extermination. vote here you have a week.”
whoops you're outta time ya massive goober.
Connie: Looks like we dodged a bullet there.
Karl Marx: Seems like it.
Aki: AHSJSGSHRUSHDJEBDHRH.
Pomni: What was any of that?
the host: “end of the episode.”
Chapter 2: don't be fry.
Summary:
pains two.
Chapter Text
It has been two days since this game began. Most participants have been trying to accomodate.
Some have been quick to grow fond of each other. Some have avoided the rest. Some have been avoided by everyone.
They’d spent little time here, but wanting to stay was a question. Even with this mysterious prize on the line, most would rather just be home instead. But, not all.
Cut to someone, by their lonesome. The red and blue jester layed back, bored out of her mind. There was nothing to do in this world, and the one in control seemed to have left them. That was, until-
the host: “elimination time.”
Pomni: AH-
the host: “everyone get in the building.”
There was a massive building there now. Slowly, every competitor walked in.
Pomni: Where everybody come from-
the host: “shut.”
the host: “time to start the elimination.”
the host: “we got (∫0π(x3+ln(x+1)ex2)dx)×(n=1∑∞n2+2n+1(−1)n)+((5+ln7)323) votes.”
Pomni: H-how did you say that with your mouth?
the host: “my wha.”
lil_jeffy: 🍍.
the host: “anyway everyone who made the jump gets a chance to win a prize. maggot got no votes because i forgot to put him in the poll.”
Maggot: Agu.
the host: “also with no votes are mortimer yellow face nori mary volleyball mary one six six fancy and rainbow.”
Mortimer: As I expected…..
Chica's Magic Rainbow: They wouldn't know quality if it hit them in the genitals!
Mary: ….
the host: “with one vote jeffy ramón reflex unown and shep don’t get anything either.”
Ramón: I am fine with that.
the host: “let's show some voting reasons before revealing the prize winner.”
Because I like the letter K -Aze the at-Aze the at (Unown K).
oH GolLy tHE ToaSTer HeAd nation Is eaTINg gOOd WitH tHis OnE -fellow existor (Purple Shep).
🔥 -AluInt (lil_jeffy).
knife! :D -you (Ramón).
hes dr. FUCKING reflex -fnafman45 (i wonder who).
Purple Shep: oH GolLy a fAn is lOOkiNg aT me rIghT nOW.
Unown K: Eutureta-crary.
Lana: How'd aah git he-yah?
the host: “blame your one voter.”
Lana: …. Wait, then why was aah not named be-fo-wah?
the host: “because your voter also sent us a cool video that will play right now.”
[Indeed, the video began playing. A lovely blue TV with a face appears.]
S.P.A.S.M.: Hello there. Looks like my inter-time-space-dimension TV is working! Anyways, my name is S.P.A.S.M.. I come from a not so far future. Well, hopefully, if the author gets to making the prologue for this show. But anyways-
Riggy: Hi again!
S.P.A.S.M.: This is the second time you people interrupt my voting session. Get out!
Charlotte Stern: Huh. Whippy Creamy's here.
Clock: And Yellow Face?
Pomni: And.. is that another me...?
S.P.A.S.M.: Uh.. someone get her out before shee has another existential crisis. And preferably, all of you get out as well.
DogDay: On it! (Heads out of the room with Pomni and the rest)
S.P.A.S.M.: Good. I vote for Lana. She seems like she'll do well. I.. don't have much to say I guess. Bye!
[The video cuts off.]
Whippy Creamy: Yo, the moldster! I remember, back in the plane, as she yelled at me for not doing anything. Good ol' days, man.
Yellow Face: Wow, wonder who that guy was.
Pomni: Why was I-
Pomni looks around herself. She's now outside the elimination room.
Pomni: …. Okay.
Cut back inside.
the host: “subscribe to systemglitch405 he’s got some good stuff cooking anyway every other vote was for block.”
Block: ….
A cheering sound effect plays.
the host: “voting reasons.”
block -Ʊpsilon.
I like the cursor thing -Kevin.
Because block -A̶D̶A̶G̶E̶ norphan.
the host: “now for the prize.”
the host: “uhm.”
the host: “you have unlocked everything in the game.”
A beat passes. A large mechanical object appears before Block. It then disappears.
Karl Marx: I have several questions.
the host: “no time let us see if you got voted for the anti prize marx.”
the host: “you did not and neither did marx.”
Marx: …. Which one of us are you talking about?
the host: “does it matter.”
Marx: Fair point.
the host: “aki stays unpunished with one vote. give us your deep opinions on that.”
Cut to a puddle of flesh on the voting room floor.
SCP-166: Dear….
the host: “play the reason.”
how dare you be on fire kinda cringe -you.
Connie: Wait, people voted against me? How is that possible, I was opening a whole luxury island for everyone to enjoy!
the host: “was.”
Connie: Well, about that-
the host: “no one cares you get the punishment with six votes.”
Connie: …. Oh no. Tell me it won-
the host: “bitcoin stocks have dropped by two percent.”
Connie: …..
Connie drops to his knees in despair.
Connie: NOOOOOOO-
the host: “reason time.”
tell me why (aint nothing but a mistake) tell me why (i never want to hear you say) i want it that way -Ʊpsilon
Connie: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Wumbo -Aze the at -Aze the at.
Connie: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
fever -AluInt.
Connie: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
I hate crypto bros. -Kevin.
Connie: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Ew -norphan.
Connie: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
evil crypto is ascary -fnafman45.
Connie is now laying facedown on the floor.
Nori: Finally.
the host: “the other two votes were for pomni here they are.”
wouldnt it be funny if we made her suffer more -fellow existor.
the host: “and another lovely video.”
[The video turns on. A small blue lightbulb with eyes and a crown appears.]
Queen Bulb: Hello there. Is this thing on? Good, looks like this thing is working. I suppose you're wondering what royal elegance I am. Well, if you must know, I am Queen Bulb. And i vote for that dumb Trickster Bulb. Do you know how many false walls she's put in my castle?
Puffball Speaker Box: You do realize that that's not Trickster Bulb or whoever, right?
Queen Bulb: Oh. Well i still vote for her. Because she looks like a clown! Which are not scary, no, never, not, haha, who told you!? Good bye!
The video turns off.
the host: "okay now time"
The video turns back on.
Queen Bulb: And if you're wondering where everyone else is, they're doing a challenge.
[Glass shattering can be heard in the distance.]
Queen Bulb: Alright bye!
The video turns back off.
We cut back to Pomni. She's got her back to the wall, not feeling like going back in. Until, she suddenly begins to dry heave.
Grasping the wall, a gag escapes her, before she finds herself hunched over, whatever was inside her erupting onto the ground.
What did she throw up?
A small purple bulb with eyes.
Trickster Bulb: Excuse me, ma'am.
Trickster Bulb goes on her merry way. Pomni blinks.
Pomni: .... What the actual [HONK].
Cut back inside.
SCP-166: What did we watch that on?
the host: "elimination vote time."
the host: "congrats to maxime captain and jacking you got no votes."
Captain Goomba: As expected.
Jack Horner: You kidding me? I'm a monster, people should hate me!
the host: "somehow empty got only two votes so congrats to him."
the one you know: YAHOO! I'M THE BEST!
MT does his iconic dance.
Volleyball: Groovy.
the host: “play reasons.”
bro has no voting icon -AluInt.
i dunno -fnafman45.
the host: “you know.”
Leon: Wait, I got voted?
Ethan: I should've seen this coming.
Leon: I'm, like, the star of the show, what the fuck!?
the host: "elimination reveal time someone drumroll."
Nothing happens.
the host: "thanks guys."
Nori: You kidnapped us.
the host: "anyway leon is eliminated."
Leon: WHAT!????
the host: “yeah with four votes to ethan’s three.”
Leon: WHAT!????
the host: “yeah with”
Leon: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!
Ethan: I accept this.
Volleyball: I’m grateful!
Leon: NO! NO!
the host: “play ethan’s voting reasons.”
Uh, pfoo... fuck him, he doesn't belong or whatever, I don't fuckin' know. -Kevin.
Bro has a weird 👃 -norphan.
I'm just choosing randomly honestly. -GlitchedSystem.
Leon: Those aren’t even reasons!
the host: “these are.”
fuck it, kill the koopa -fellow existor.
he will die -Ʊpsilon
Because I hate turtles -Aze the at -Aze the at.
got hit by the gay beam. loser. should've just been gay and embraced the gay beam to overcome instead -you.
Leon: I’M NOT GAY! AND I WON’T DIE!
Volleyball: Can you just get him out of here already?
the host: “on it.”
Leon: NO! NO! NO-
the host: “poof.”
Suddenly, a puff of smoke flows through the room, causing most present to shut their eyes. As soon as they open them, they’re greeted with the sight of….
He's dead.
the host: “whoopsie.”
Mary: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Ethan: Oh dear Arceus….
Maxime Le Mal: What in the-
Captain: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Pomni: Why do I hear screaming?
lil_jeffy: 😯
the host: “calm down everybody.”
Volleyball: There's a dead guy?
Nori: Eh, I've seen worse.
Jack Horner: Damn, you´ve earned my respect, host.
the host: “no host is another guy i am the host.”
Cut to Harry O.S. Tanner.
Host: “Skibidi rizz.”
Cut back.
the host: “don´t worry let me fix this.”
the host: “poof.”
Suddenly, Leon.
Leon: Wha- Where-
the host: “poof.”
Suddenly, no Leon.
SCP-166: Where has he gone?
the host: “somewhere.”
Cut to literal hell.
Leon: …. Where am I?
And cut back.
the host: “anyway challenge time.”
the host: “i hunger.”
….
the host: “why is no one concerned.”
Marx: Because we just watched someone die?
Pomni: Wha-
the host: “well get concerned your next challenge is to feed me.”
Everyone sighs. Including block. Not Aki, she's dead.
the host: “glad for the hype.”
the host: “you’re gonna be in groups of two get going.”
the host: “poof.”
Every contestant disappears. The woman sits back.
the host: “hot food.”
—-------------
Pomni and Karl Marx.
We get to see a lovely room, with a white desk full of everything needed to cook. Behind that desk lays shelves and boxes full of ingredients.
Suddenly, the two competitors mentioned above pop into the room.
Pomni: Wha- Da-
Karl Marx: I assume this is where the challenge will take place. While I usually let my wife do the cooking, I suppose I can help.
Pomni: Yeah. Yeah, cool.
They get to work. Karl looks through the shelves while Pomni prepares the desk, also checking out a few boxes.
Karl Marx: What could someone like her want? I’ll admit to knowing nothing about her. She's a strange one. Perhaps beyond my comprehension. But I doubt-
Pomni: Karl, the bread is armed….
Karl Marx: Pardon?
Marx looks over at the clown, who is looking at a certain box, filled with nothing but dozens of slices of bread. One slice appears to be wriggling, standing on one side of the box. It holds a glock.
Karl Marx: Oh.
—--------------
SCP-166 and Captain Goomba.
Captain Goomba: Whar- Ah-
(i forgot to write this one skull emoji).
—--------------
Nori and Reflex.
Dr. Reflex: Let me test your reflexes.
Nori: No.
Dr. Reflex: What!? Your session’s not over yet!
Reflex whips out a big fuck off hammer, smashing the hell out of….
Some dough, flattening it.
Nori: Perfect-
Reflex then flattens Nori.
Dr. Reflex: See? That wasn't so bad.
Nori: Worth it.
Nori tries to touch the dough. It deforms due to her spiky crab core limbs.
Nori: …. I’ll figure this out.
—----------------
Lana and Purple Shep.
Lana: Huh. Never really tried cookin' be-fo-wah, just took whatever was layin' around. How about ya-
Purple Shep has his head in a toaster.
Purple Shep: YoU weRe sayInG?
Lana: Nevermind.
Lana tries to grasp something. It slips from her sock hand.
—---------------
Ethan and Mortimer.
Without delay, Ethan gets to work. He grabs whatever he can find.
Meanwhile, Mortimer stares at you.
Yes, you.
He knows what you did.
Ethan: Alright, how did mom do this again….
Ethan puts the stuff on the table. He admires it.
Ethan: …. Nevermind. Do you think there´s berries around?
He looks back at his duo partner. Mortimer does not keep his eyes off you.
Ethan: ….
Ethan just tries to find something else.
—------------
Marx and Block.
Marx: Sure, whatever.
Marx reaches for a shelf. The shelf falls over. Marx dies.
….
A 1-Up mushroom spawns. It moves away from Marx’s dead body.
Another mushroom appears, reviving Marx.
Marx: …. Again, really?
Marx just sits on the ground.
Marx: I really do not care, anyway.
A sound effect plays.
—----------
Maggot and MT.
Maggot has been dunked in water.
the one you know: PERFECT!!
—-----------
Jack Horner and Ramón.
Extremely soon, the two are exchanging glares.
Jack Horner: You….
Ramón: ….
Jack stares daggers into the small animal, bloodshed in his eyes. Ramón stared blankly, holding his knife close.
Quickly, Jack grabs the first heavy object he can find, chucking it towards the rat. Ramón manages to hop over it, using the moment as a chance to counterattack, tossing his knife. It stabs right below Horner's neck.
Jack Horner: ARGH! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Desperate, Jack tries to attack the rat with his limbs. Unarmed, Ramón resorts to slamming his body against the fat man, knocking him over and onto the desk.
Some electronics are knocked down, beginning to spark.
Ramón: …. I am sure that's fine.
Until-
—-------------
Chica’s Magic Rainbow and Aki.
Everything is on fire.
—-----------
Connie and Connie.
The coin gets up from the floor and blinks.
Connie: …. Right, still have stuff to do.
He immediately gets to work, grabbing items off the shelves.
Connie: When I win this thing, those stocks will be rising again!
Since no one likes Connie let’s move on to-
—--------
Whippy Creamy and lil_jeffy.
Whippy Creamy: Yo, penguin meat man!
lil_jeffy: ❔
Whippy Creamy: You know how to do that stuff, right?
The penguin stopped, admiring the room. And the oven. He paused. He had an epiphany.
He grabbed dough.
He grabbed sauce.
His eyes glimmered with hope as he grabbed cheese.
Whippy Creamy: Yup, he's got this.
—---------------
Mary Suess and Unown K.
Mary: ….
Unown: …. Eutureta-crary?
Mary whimpers. The floating letter floats, its eye filled with empathy.
Unown: Eutureta-crary….
They embraced each other, the bug holds the letter like a plushie.
—----------------
Fancy and Volleyball.
Slam!
Slam!
Volleyball: Quit running, this’ll be so funny!
Slam!
—--------------------
Yellow Face and Maxime Le Mal.
Yellow Face: Hey, viewers! Have you ever wanted to have delicious food, quickly and easily?
Maxime: Who are you talking to-
Yellow Face: Then buy our newest product! It can serve you up a delight, and in just five minutes!
Maxime: Five minutes? That´s impossible!
Yellow Face: You´re not just wrong, you´re stupid.
Maxime: ….
Yellow Face: And you´re ugly, just like your mom.
Yellow Face is shot with a gun decorated like a cockroach.
—----------------
the host: “aight time to consume.”
the host: “poof.”
On queue, Nori and Reflex popped in, their prepared dish on the table in front.
the host: “so how’d you guys do.”
Nori: Well, I didn't actually know what to do exactly.
the host: “damn i wouldn't have guessed.”
The extremely overcooked dough is consumed.
the host: “good job.”
Nori: Thanks?
Dr. Reflex: All done!
the host: “poof.”
The two disappear, replaced with Connie. His thing appears on the table.
Connie: Hello there madam, may I interest you in some delicious beacon chain and eggs, only-
the host: “i’m not paying.”
The food is consumed.
the host: “meh.”
Connie: …. Meh? I assure you, the food I serve is-
the host: “poof.”
Connie goes away, with Ethan and Mortimer appearing in his stead.
Ethan: Um…. I made curry.
the host: “you overcooked it.”
Ethan: I’m not from Galar, this isn't my-
the host: “perfect.”
The food is lovingly consumed.
the host: “great job to the both of you.”
Mortimer blinks.
the host: “poof.”
MT and a mildly wet Maggot pop in.
the host: “why is there no food.”
the one you know: BECAUSE I MADE NOTHING!! COOL, RIGHT!?
the host: “your life is worth nothing and you serve zero purpose other than wasting precious oxygen that would be better going through any other respiratory system.”
the one you know: OH.
the host: “poof.”
Maxime and the dead body of Yellow Face pop in.
Maxime Le Mal: Hello there, mademoiselle. I made a cake, shaped like the greatest creature on our planet.
the host: “neat.”
A single bite is taken out of it.
the host: “there's cockroaches in here.”
Maxime Le Mal: Amazing, right?
the host: “no.”
the host: “poof.”
Lana and Purple Shep pop in.
Lana: Ah, uh…. Grilled a cheese sandwich?
the host: “looks pretty grilled to me.”
The sandwich is consumed.
the host: “nice one.”
Purple Shep: I heLpEd!
the host: “poof.”
Next up, Volleyball. Fancy Pants wasn't there, for some reason.
Volleyball: In front of you, is the finest chicken nugget that you have ever had, or will have.
Consumption.
the host: “it's okay.”
the host: “where did your teammate go.”
Volleyball: We had a chat about morality, then he left.
the host: “i didn't add a door where did he go.”
Cut to Fancy on a rooftop, contemplating existence.
Volleyball: I dunno.
the host: “aight anyways.”
the host: “poof.”
Off she goes, time for Jack and Ramón. And by that, I mean their dead bodies on fire.
the host: “oh damn.”
the host: “yum.”
The massive collage of burned food has been eaten.
the host: “amazing work.”
They do not respond, for they have died.
the host: “poof.”
The corpses leave. Marx and the block show up.
the host: “there is nothing here.”
Marx: Because I made nothing.
the host: “are you kidding me.”
Suddenly, a red and yellow flower appears over the block.
the host: “thank you for kidding me.”
The fire flower is soon chowed.
the host: “amazing work.”
Marx: ….
the host: “poof.”
Hi Mary and Unown.
the host: “there's nothing here.”
Mary: Coo….
the host: “no that doesn't save you.”
Unown used Hidden Power!
the host: “hmmm fire type.”
the host: “could've been better.”
the host: “poof.”
In come Maxime and the dead body of Yellow Face.
the host: “is that a cake.”
Maxime Le Mal: More than that, it's infused with the greatest being from our world.
the host: “oh that's a cake full of cockroaches.”
Maxime Le Mal: Exactly!
the host: “what is wrong with you.”
the host: “poof.”
lil_jeffy and Whippy Creamy time.
the host: “damn a pizza right out of the oven.”
Notably, lil_jeffy is staring at his creation intensity, reaching out a flipper.
Whippy Creamy: Hey, lady? I think the man here was a-
The entire dish is consumed.
the host: “yummy.”
Whippy Creamy: …. I’m so sorry, man.
lil_jeffy: :agony:
the host: “poof.”
A shit load of fire is now here. And the rainbow.
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Hey hey, you like what you see?
the host: “I do indeed.”
Nom nom yummy fire delicious.
the host: “thank you for your act of service.”
Consumption.
the host: “spicy.”
the host: “wonderful.”
the host: “poof.”
Bye bye andy mcdonald, hello to these two.
Captain Goomba: We made a delicious treat!
SCP-166: E-enjoy.
Nom.
the host: “i taste of flower.”
Captain Goomba: Flower? Why would we add a flower?
SCP-166: I think-
the host: “putting in flower and lying is grounds for an immediate loss.”
the host: “great job.”
Captain Goomba: But-
the host: “poof.”
They exit the chat. Finally, Pomni and the dead body of Mr. Marx.
the host: "there is nothing."
Pomni: ....
the host: “is that really it.”
the host: “cool i guess.”
you're late for voting man.
Finally, we cut to a train station. A random train station. In the void. Some worker is standing there. Then the pink lightbulb from earlier shows up.
Trickster Bulb: Excuse me, when is the next train to-
Worker: We don't serve your kind here.
Trickster Bulb: Oh…. Alright then.
The bulb finds her way out, presumably. Cut to seven minutes later.
Worker: Man, standing in this spot all day telling people they can't come in really builds a hunger….
The worker looks behind him, where the trains usually pass. But now, it's just a walkway leading to a donut shop.
Worker: Huh, how awfully convenient.
The worker walks over to it, only to fall through the fake ground.
A train hits him.
the host: “end the episode.”
https://youtu.be/Alswq0ThVDM?si=o4FRrSiv7WhBBM7O
Chapter Text
It has been two days, again. People are bored, again.
Here is Pomni, again. She appears to be walking aimlessly, trying to give her mind anything to do. The one in control left them all alone again, nothing to see, nothing to do. She has begun to fear this cycle. Will they always be abandoned like this? Until the end? And, what if she gets eliminated? She's in danger right now. What happens then? Does she-
Yellow Face: Heyo!
The jester stops, her thoughts coming to end.
Pomni: …. Is this an advertisement?
Yellow Face: Nope! Look what I found!
She's led out, to find two blocks of white within the endless darkness.
Pomni: …. Huh.
Yellow Face: Touch one!
She obliges, to quickly find a number popping in on top of the block. 57.
Pomni: Does that…. Mean anything?
Yellow Face: No clue. Look at mine!
The doodle touches the other block. 2763.
Pomni: …. Well-
the host: “somebody say elimination time.”
Pomni: -.... No-
the host: “everybody get in the building.”
In one blink, Pomni finds herself in front of the massive building again, every competitor alive crowding around her.
Pomni: Oh, I see how it is.
Soon, they enter.
the host: “thank you all for coming.”
the host: “well not all lemme fix that.”
the host: “poof.”
In a moment, Mr. Marx, Yellow Face, Jack, Ramón and Aki appear, alive and well.
Karl Marx: …. Everything I believe in has been a lie.
Yellow Face: Owie.
Aki: ….
She stops, observing her own hands.
Aki: I….
There is no fire. There is no pain. There is no agony.
Aki: I'm free….
After all this time, it's over. Prepared for this new chapter of her life, she takes a single step forwards.
And is on fire again.
Aki: YHUSGHYRYRSEFYHESFR
the host: “prize votes.”
the host: “five of you got one two of you got two.”
the host: “with zero are mortimer.”
Mortimer: ….
the host: “pokémon trainer.”
Ethan: I shouldn't be surprised.
the host: “marx.”
Marx: ….
the host: “nori.”
Nori: Cool, whatever.
the host: “reflex.”
Dr. Reflex: That wasn't so bad!
the host: “the rat.”
Ramón: I am not happy.
the host: “and the rainbow.”
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Again? You group of morons need to learn a little taste.
the host: “time for the one prize vote list.”
the host: “first up is horner.”
Jack Horner: Excuse me?
the host: “for this reason.”
- you say you should be hated so i shall give you a vote based on the opposite muahaha
Jack Horner: I demand a name.
the host: “forgot to ask for it.”
Jack Horner: Great, just great. You know who you are.
the host: “next vote was for lana.”
- Voting for her again even though I know the outcome
Lana: Thank y'all kindly!
the host: “then one for whippy creamy.”
- Nothing is a mistake if Fancy-
HEY ARE YOU DOING ANOTHER-
SHUT UP GUEST
Anyways yes fancy pants
But Whippy creamy for ONE (say hi to Airy if you can hear me)
Whippy Creamy: I'm really confused, but I guess I'll say hi. Whenever, slash if, I get back.
Fancy Pants Man waves hello.
the host: “second to last with one vote was little jeff.”
- Gives this man his pizza, he deserves it!
lil_jeffy: 🙏
the host: “and finally block.”
- blok
Tiiiiiiiissssss I the LORE guy i am here to give either lore or fun facts about some of you
Fun fact: Jack Horner is a bitchass motherfucker.
Jack Horner: Someone gets it!
the host: “that leaves shep and aki with two votes.”
Nori: Then who gets the prize?
the host: “will be relevant later now here are reasons.”
- purple.
- oH gOLlY puRPLe ShEp is SO AwESomE I LovE pARaSOciaL reLATIOnshiPS
- OH SHIT!! indeed, truly words to live by - ADAGE
- fire - Apple ⟡
the host: “sorry if i made it hard to decipher which was for which.”
Purple Shep: mY eFfoRts wEreN't iN vaIn.
Aki burns.
the host: “time for the disadvantage votes.”
the host: “two people got one vote while the other got seven.”
Volleyball: Who was up for that one?
the host: “you.”
Volleyball: Oh.
the host: “here is your reason.”
- Random bullshit go
Random bullshit go
Tiiiiiiiissssss I the LORE guy i am here to give either lore or fun facts about some of you
LORE lies here
Fancy Pants is often said to be a combination of Mario & Sonic the Hedgehog rolled into the body of a stick figure with fancy pants. This may just be a result of the gameplay being similar to these two.
When the popular Newgrounds Smash Bros equivalent, Newgrounds Rumble, was originally released, Fancy Pants never appeared in it because Brad Borne didn't finish the sprites in time. Fancy was later released in an update of the game.
the host: “on the topic of fancy pants he also got only one vote.”
- imagine contemplating life. just suffer. also inferior stick figure series - Apple ⟡
Fancy is unbothered.
the host: “every other vote was for connie.”
Connie: What kind of audience is this? Do they really not get the bright future of crypto?
the host: “reason time.”
- the value of crypto has plummeted
Connie: ….
- I forgot how terrifying his design was, his voting icon is crazy.
Connie: No need to get personal!
- itd be really funny if he got punished again ok
- you know why
- was there ever any doubt. - ADAGE
Connie: Ugh….
- I would vote for Connie, but then I decided to vote for... Connie, because I hate coins. Where's Pennie?
Connie: I'm a crypto coin, not a crypto penny. Those aren't a thing.
- Who is Connie?
A Coin? Doesn't seem like a object, it's kinda uncanny somewhat in OSC standard and-
HEY I SEE BIAS-
HEY CAN I PLEASE FINISH FIRST GUEST, THEN WE ARGUE
Anyways, Volleyball is a OSC member, I give it a Thumbs up! I love the OSC style
Fancy Pants? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTSFANCYPANTS
OH AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE PENCIL AND PEN, USE THOSE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Ehhh Curiosity got too exited....
You get the message Fancy pants
Connie: Wasn't even about me, for fucks sakes….
Getting the message, Fancy produces a really large pencil, its point awfully sharp. For now, he places it on the ground, and leans on it.
the host: “finally it's elimination vote time.”
the host: “only six of you got votes.”
the host: “so congrats to pomni.”
The jester breathes a massive sigh of relief.
the host: “mary.”
The bug also breaths in relief.
the host: “captain goomba.”
The mushroom smiles with pride.
the host: “and yellow face.”
Yellow Face: Hurray! All of you watching get my 2 cent family discount!
Whippy Creamy: Wasn't it 5 cents?
Yellow Face: Inflation.
the host: “four people got one vote one got two and one is out with three.”
the host: “maxime is safe with only this reason.”
- Don't murder your teammate and bring in live animals in your food. Twice. Just gross.
Maxime Le Mal: Heh, keep coping.
the host: “maggot is also safe.”
- ye
Maggot: Agababa.
the host: “unown k lives to tell the tale.”
- Honestly I just randomly chose
Unown K: Etureta-crary….
the host: “and our dear scp is safe.”
- The original SCP-166 was wild - ADAGE
SCP-166: Was there a 166 before me?
the host: “don't ask anyway our final two are here.”
the one you know: I’M WHAT!?
Karl Marx: ….
the host: “someone build suspense.”
the host: “changed my mind immediate reveal mt dies.”
the one you know: OH NO!
- explode - Apple ⟡
- tell me, mt. do you think you'll be missed? do you think anyone actually likes you? look at yourself. look at the sad and pathetic life you've built for yourself. you're irrelevant. nothing but cannon fodder who dares to stand among others who are far better, far more enjoyable, far more loved, than you will ever be. nobody will cry for you. nobody will miss you. and NOBODY will care. i hope you realize just how fucked you are now. i hope you realize just how worthless your continued presense on this mortal coil is. go on and start begging for mercy that will never come, for your death warrant has already been signed. congratulations, you're going to get exactly what you deserve.
signed, yours truly, the whale.
the one you know: OH NO!!!
the host: “do you have any last words.”
the one you know: TELL MY WIFE I FUCKED HER SISTER-
the host: “poof.”
MT disappears into the ether, never to be seen again.
Pomni: …. You said he had three votes, right?
the host: “the last one was really long and i didn't want him to stay so long.”
the host: “speaking of it.”
- What in the bame of Hades do you even look like?
the host: “bame.”
Somewhere within the multiverse, William “LORE guy” Gnaritas collapses under the weight of a minor spelling mistake.
Nori: Wow, how long.
the host: “not done here is the rest.”
- Tiiiiiiiissssss fucking I the LORE guy i am here to give either lore or fun facts about some of you
LORE be HERE
Item #: SCP-166
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-166 is contained in Biocontainment Zone C at Site-19, which has been modified to include a hermetically sealed antechamber and an industrial-strength air purifier. Containment staff must wear the specially designated 166 biohazard suits at all times when inside SCP-166's containment area.
Due to SCP-166's unique physiological needs, a variety of loose fitting organic cotton clothing has been provided, to be rotated monthly. All meals are to be cooked according to the guidelines provided, with as little inorganic additives as possible.
Reasonable requests for personal items and modifications to the containment suite may be granted upon approval by a Level 4 or higher authority. Update: All requests by SCP-166 must be approved personally by Site Director Light. To date, SCP-166 has requested:
A copy of the Holy Bible (Douay-Rheims, Challoner Revision) (granted).
A Catholic rosary (granted).
Access to a Catholic priest for confession, mass, and other sacraments. (denied) (Chaplain Davis has been scheduled to meet with SCP-166 on alternating Sundays after a thorough decontamination process)
Various books and magazines, mostly religious in nature (granted, pending review and approval of contents).
A telephone with which to contact the Abbess of the Our Lady of Mercy Convent in County Galway, Ireland (denied) (granted) (overruled by order of the Site Director, denied)
Description: SCP-166 is a European female human in its late teens with ungulate features; possessing antlers, hooved feet, and a short tail reminiscent of Rangifer tarandus (Common reindeer). Despite these obvious abnormalities, DNA analysis reveals no abnormal genetic traits.
Within a fifteen-meter radius of SCP-166, artificial objects gradually return to an unworked state. Higher complexity objects like electronics or vehicles are affected quicker, with degradation of their metallic components causing catastrophic structural failure in a matter of hours. Rudimentary materials, such as stone buildings or products made of organic materials, decay at a virtually imperceptible rate. Within the same radius plant life will begin to sprout, often growing in improbable places such as out of security cameras or ID scanners.
SCP-166 possesses a possibly anomalous sensitivity to artificial material and pollutants, with inhalation or contact causing pressure ulcers and symptoms of acute asthma attacks. In one case, physical proximity to a smoker caused SCP-166 to undergo a severe asthma attack, even though the doctor at the time had not smoked a cigarette for three weeks.
Discovery: SCP-166 was discovered at the Our Lady of Mercy Convent in County Galway, Ireland, where it had lived since infancy. SCP-166 was confirmed by a defecting Global Occult Coalition agent to be the child of Threat Entity 9927-Black ("The Goddess"), also known as SCP-████, who was terminated by a GOC strike team in what would be known as the Cornwall Incident.
The agent had refused to terminate SCP-166, instead smuggling it to a Catholic convent in County Galway, Ireland. It lived there until the age of 12, at which point a visitor to the convent accidentally witnessed SCP-166 and reported it to authorities. The agent then contacted the Foundation, agreeing to share GOC intelligence in return for the guaranteed safety and containment of SCP-166.
Further details are classified.
A beat passes.
SCP-166: ….
the host: “here are the reasons for the communist.”
- Help us we are bounded together :P
Let Fancy use the pencil and pen
- there can only be one marx
Marx: I'm not even the real one.
the host: “why are you all standing there the challenge awaits.”
the host: “poof.”
Everyone has teleported. I’d explain where, but she's about to do that.
the host: “the third challenge is to torture your cock.”
….
the host: “in front of you are some roosters on cylindrical elevated platforms.”
the host: “either throw something at one or touch one to become safe.”
Lana: That sure is a heap of roosters….
the host: “enough for everyone to be safe if you don't screw things over.”
the host: “but once a cock falls down it can't give safety.”
the host: “everyone got it.”
Connie: Could I ask-
the host: “oh yeah advantage and disadvantages.”
the host: “if you got a prize vote you get a projectile.”
the host: “poof.”
A small purple ball appears within the hands of Lana, Jack, jeffy, Whippy Creamy, and on top of the block. Two of them appear next to Purple Shep, while two burn up right next to Aki.
the host: “and the crypto mascot has to touch three roosters to be safe.”
the host: “alright now start.”
Within a second, a rooster is shot off its platform.
Maxime is safe!
29 roosters remain.
The villain twirls his weapon, before flying away.
Not far after, a purple ball lightly hits a rooster, another is stabbed off the platform by a knife, and another is telekinetically thrown off.
Whippy Creamy and Ramón are safe!
27 roosters remain.
Nori: Hey, I knocked it off!
the host: “i said touch or throw something at the thing.”
The small thing grumbles…. Before she's picked up, and thrown against another rooster.
Jack Horner and Nori Doorman are safe!
26 roosters remain.
Nori: You had a prize, dipshit!
Jack Horner: And? Who needs that stuff?
She grumbles more aggressively…. before watching a prize ball land on a nearby platform, just shy of touching the rooster.
Lana: Well, shoot.
Nori: Need some help?
Lana: Yessiree!
Nori jumps to the platform and pushes the ball down. Before she can do anything else, two eyeballs appear. One touches the rooster, making it explode in a rain of blood. The other touches Nori, causing the same thing to happen to her. Except, no blood.
Chica 's Magic Rainbow is safe!
25 roosters remain.
Nearby, a prized ball hits the side of a platform. And then again. And then again. It belongs to lil_jeffy, who appears unable to throw high enough.
Seems to be going better than Purple Shep, who appears unable to throw due to his lack of thumbs. Aki's prize melted a minute ago.
Purple Shep: WoW thiS sUCkS. I musT be DOinG thE woRsT.
Cut to Pomni, who is desperately climbing the side of a platform, having absolutely nothing to throw. She's reached halfway, before an eye approaches the rooster on top, making it explode into a pool of blood.
Chica's Magic Rainbow: Whoopsies!
She's not very amused, just jumping to the next platform to continue climbing.
Besides there, a sweet little butterfly quickly pats one of the creatures.
Mary Suess is safe!
24 roosters remain.
And then we have those on the ground, nothing in their hands, not making an effort.
Karl Marx: Do you think this task is possible?
Marx: I really could not care less. I-
the host: “hey yo marx that reminds me your series got rebooted and you were in it so better make you accurate to that.”
Marx: Huh-
the host: “poof.”
Suddenly, Marx appears to disappear from sight.
Karl Marx: …. Where has he gone?
the host: “look up.”
Right on cue, a red liquid drips from the ceiling. It appeared to be coming from….
—--------
Cool character introduction.
Name - Beta Tester 1.
From - Too Much Kirby (2024).
Species - ???
Is he a hallucination? - Probably.
—------
An ugly face without eyes. Its jaws slowly opened.
Beta Tester 1: I don’t think you want to do that.
Karl Marx: ….
Back to the roosters. One is struck on the head by a jumping projectile, while another is cut by a flying leaf, both falling.
Captain Goomba and Ethan are safe!
22 roosters remain.
The trainer calls back his Meganium, while the mushroom jumps back down. On his way down, the Goomba is struck by a purple projectile, landing poorly on top of the block. The block had a spring on top, bouncing him up higher.
At the apex of his flight, he gets lightly hit by another ball, knocking him on a platform and knocking the rooster there off the platform.
lil_jeffy is safe!
21 roosters left.
The penguin did not mean to do that.
On the platform, the captain slowly recovers, before noticing someone standing above him. It was Connie, who had just finished climbing on top.
Connie: …. Yeah, sure, this works.
The mascot grabs Captain Goomba, chucking him onto the platform beside him. This hits one rooster, leaving two more to go for him.
Right by, Fancy Pants performs a precise jump, pencil in hand, prepared to cut down a pair of roosters, before-
SCP-166: Don’t hurt them!
The stick figure awkwardly falls to the ground, before following her request. He does a similar jump, lightly tapping a rooster with his hand.
Fancy Pants Man is safe!
20 roosters remain.
He lands again, before looking back, offering the deer behind him a hand.
SCP-166: …. No, thanks.
Fancy shrugs, before his attention is grabbed again.
Lana: Could ya help me?
Of course, he does so, helping the paper girl up on the platform. With her prize in hand, she chucks it at the nearest rooster, closing her eyes as she does. Reopening them, she finds that both the rooster and her prize appear to have completely vanished.
Lana: …. The fu-
Mortimer is safe!
10 roosters remain.
Oh yeah forgot to mention, nine other roosters got blasted by big ass beams. The culprits are a few butterflies.
Anyway, here is Connie. He is climbing.
A ball has hit him. He is falling.
Purple Shep: Ah, daNg.
Whippy Creamy: You need help, bro?
Purple Shep: nAh, I’m gooD.
Up above those two, a block floats. It has a spring on top of it, having tried to bounce its prize up. It failed.
Connie has landed on the spring. He is rising.
He has landed on a platform. He has touched a rooster. The rooster ran off the platform.
He has jumped to the next platform. The rooster ran off before he could touch it.
He has jumped to the next platform. He has touched the next rooster.
He has jumped to the next platform. Someone is already there, and has touched the rooster, which ran off.
Pomni is safe!
6 roosters remain.
He has jumped to the next platform. He has touched the rooster.
Connie is safe!
1 rooster remains.
The other five roosters were also eradicated.
The last rooster runs off.
the host: “yup cool episode over we are done good good great.”
Volleyball: Hey, my second episode just came out and I barely got one line!
the host: “suck to be part of this subpar show where the creator barely cares about any contestant anymore anyway go vote.”
look at this late piece of shit no voting for you.
the host: “no ending bit just end the episode.”
Notes:
now that you finished you can go read my good show part one of the prolouge just came out.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64233652/chapters/164860837
Chapter Text
Every contestant is sitting around, in the exact same spot.
Pomni: …. Does anyone else feel dread?
Whippy Creamy: Like, you feel something bad is about to happen. I kinda feel it too.
Beta Tester 1: I feel nothing but betrayal.
Mary: Coo?
lil_jeffy: 🧑⚕️
Fancy just shrugs.
Connie: I dunno what you all are feeling, I feel great!
Volleyball: Weird, right-
the host: “hey elimination time time for eliminitacion since everyone is here might as well do it right here.”
the host: “karl marx is eliminated with all the votes he is now gone reason time.”
They and a few others were nonexistent, I just like this guy the least - Kevin
You share a name with Marx from kirby thus i hate you
Tiiiiiiiissssss I the LORE guy
And yes you were right that spelling mistake hurt my soul.
LORE
Dr. Reflex does not possess a medical license.
false prophet
healthcare
Didn't do anything
But
Mua ha ha
I'm gonna spoil the surprise
bye bye pains
Pomni: Huh-
the votes: “your challenge is to survive the reboot nuke.”
Explosion sound effect.
Notes:
stay tuned for the reboot.
Chapter Text
heya.
so about that reboot.
yeah there's been issues.
the biggest one was that i was never truly happy with the cast i picked out.
so i'll so the hardest thing for someone to do.
ask for help.
submit characters in the form found in the end notes and you may just see them in the reboot.
as many as you'd like by the way.
see you sometime.
also NINES episode one is coming soon i promise.
you got one more day to do this.
Notes:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeGPLA2fucQ-JQuI9HfVE9zpucJJpxQ-RWN37BHCss-Rw6T4Q/viewform?usp=header
Curiosity_Guest on Chapter 2 Fri 11 Apr 2025 03:12AM UTC
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kaelis (Guest) on Chapter 2 Thu 19 Jun 2025 08:20PM UTC
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SystemGlitch405 on Chapter 4 Sun 18 May 2025 11:44PM UTC
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Curiosity_Guest on Chapter 4 Tue 20 May 2025 01:02AM UTC
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Lorelai_marie57 on Chapter 5 Tue 16 Sep 2025 08:53PM UTC
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