School Sucks And So Does Your Boyfriend

by Yellowferns

Summary:

Moving to Port Townsend from sleepy New Hampshire just to attend the world’s smallest college is either the best or worst decision Monty has ever made. But he can’t really complain much when dorm life is much better than living with his mom.

The thing is though, that while he won the jackpot and got to move across the country from his mother, he was still left with a roommate, who, in all likelihood, doesn’t know they’re rooming together. He also probably doesn’t know what century it is if his clothing choices are anything to go by. Maybe Edwardian clothing is making a comeback.

Or-
Monty Finch moves across the country to attend college and is roomed with none other than one Edwin Payne and semi regularly, his boyfriend Charles. The only issue is, Edwin’s very attractive, and Monty is very into him. But what Monty doesn’t know is that Edwin is single and has been eyeing Monty when he’s sure he won’t get caught.

Chapter 1: I Fear That my Roommates Boyfriends is Trying to Move in

Notes:

Second long story ever and this time I actually have a plan set out for what’s going to happen! I hope y’all love it

Moving to Port Townsend Washington from sleepy New Hampshire just to attend the world's smallest college is either the best or worst decision Monty has ever made. But he can't really complain much when dorm life is much better than living with his mom, who is definitively the craziest manipulative woman Monty has ever met, not that he knows many women.

The thing is, though, that while he won the jackpot and got to move across the country from his mother, he was still left with a roommate, who, in all likelihood, doesn't know they're rooming together. He also probably doesn't know what century it is if his clothing choices are anything to go by. Maybe Edwardian-era clothing is coming back. Velour sweat suits and suspenders!

It's been two months of college and they've talked twice, once when Monty first moved in and was startled by the sight of 6 foot fucking ghost looking man setting a typewriter on his desk, and the second time when Edwin asked when he plans on waking up in the morning so his alarm doesn't wake him. Both times were on the same day and were as awkward as you'd imagine. Monty had tried to talk to him since then, but every time he gathered the courage to say hello, Edwin either wasn't there or was busy with his boyfriend who he'd learned was named Charles. And he was called Charles too. Not even a nickname like Charlie or Char or Lee. Charles all the way with all that British charm he walked around with. It was aces, mate!

And Monty doesn't hate Charles, it's just that he himself is queer and he himself has a small crush on Edwin. He's tall, has a nice smile, and his hair when he wakes up is cute. So all of that to say, he's a bit jealous, and he's tried not to show it, really, but he has a face that reads like an open book. Overall, he's pretty sure Edwin and Charles think he's homophobic because he snarls a little, just a little, when he sees Charles and Edwin together. But he's not, really he's not. Even if he wasn't queer his best friend is a lesbian through and through and he loves her just the same. He's just a little annoyed that Charles is always, always over.

 

Monty has begun writing down when Charles comes over to prove his point to a very unbelieving best friend Niko.

Currently, his notebook looked like this-

Monday: Charles came over at 3:20 p.m. He stayed until 9:15 when Edwin kicked him out so he could go to bed.

Tuesday—Charles was in our dorm when I got back from class. He stayed until 7:30 because he had to leave to call Crystal (I think that's her name). He invited Edwin to join the call, but Edwin scowled and said no. (Who has to make a special trip to call? You can call from our dorm, seeing as you basically live here!)

Wednesday- He didn't show up, and Edwin didn't come back until 5. Maybe out on a date?

Thursday- Charles met Edwin at the dorm with coffee. Brought me a cookie (it's from that bakery I told you about, the one not far from the dorms. ‘Two Crows Cafe’. God I can't wait to show you that place) but didn't say anything. Came over to review homework for an hour and left.

Friday- I think he's staying the night??? Where the hell does he plan on sleeping?? It's like 11 pm and he's still on Edwin's bed in his day clothes while Edwin gets ready for bed. And they won't stop talking while I'm trying to study! And the worst part is that they start whispering but I can still hear the buzzing of their voices!

Saturday - he stayed the night but left at six and didn't come back today. At least not while I was here since I went out shopping to get you something NiNi ;) See u tmr when we get coffee and I can show you my notes.

 

“Monty, are you sure you’re not just a little obsessed with him? I mean, if I didn't have an hour-long bus ride from Quilcene, I’d be visiting you every day. Maybe he is single… he could even be into you. That would be so cute.” Niko puts her hand over Monty's, looking sympathetic, while taking her other hand and putting as much horchata cookie in her mouth as she can while maintaining eye contact.

“Niko stop getting my hopes up, They are very obviously dating,” Monty sips his coffee, rolling his eyes then moving his hand from Niko to wipe the crumbs she left on the table off of it, “But why do they have to constantly be in our dorm? Like there's a common area and stuff that they can hang out in and bug Nighty with their flirting, she's always babbling about herself and how well she is in school and shit that she probably wouldn't even notice.” The conversation wanders from there but they never do come back to Monty's blubbering feeling.

 

After an hour or two, Monty and Niko walk back to the dorm in the brisk weather, bellies full and warm from the coffee, tea, and treats. Both hang off each other, rambling facts about things that are so unimportant they can't help but giggle. When they get back to the dorm they are so tired they fall on each other onto Monty's bed, Niko laying half out on Monty and braiding a tuft of hair by his ear while Monty tries to worm his way out from under her.

They stay spread out on his twin XL for long enough that Monty must have fallen asleep because he was woken up by Niko putting a glass of water on his desk and a blanket on his legs. He doesn't stay comfy and warm like he’d like to, because he has the sudden realization that he has yet to give Niko the gift he gave her.

“Wait wait Niko!” Monty tosses the blanket off of himself and shoots himself under his bed rustling around to find the bag that had the gift in it. “I got you a present, remember? It's uh... Here,” he finds the bag and pulls out the box, and stands up to hand it to Niko who has her hands outstretched and a beaming smile on her face.

“Monty you're so sweet, I love you!” Niko quickly wraps her arms around Monty and pulls back to open the little black box that contains one small bear figurine.

“I saw this at a shop and I thought you'd like it.”

“OMG MONTY!! I love it so much. It's soo cute. I know exactly where I'm gonna put it! Thank you thank you thank you!” She kisses him on both cheeks and wraps him in a tight hug. “I love you so much You're so sweet. God, I wish that I lived closer to you.”

“Niko, in like, 4 years- less than that even- I'll move down there and well live in the house and go swimming whenever you want and you can draw me all you want because,” Monty pats Niko’s cheeks and steps back to throw a couple poses dramatically “you know you love this body and if your art sells for as much as it does now, then I can only make it improve.”

The sound of a throat clearing and a distinctly British ‘excuse me’ breaks the moment and leaves Niko rushing out the door giggling but not after giving him suggestive eyes and whispering in his ear “Oh he is cute”.

 

Monty is putting his things back under his bed when Edwin asks “Is that your girlfriend? She's pretty, you're both very lucky.” Though it is said as if it should be a nice question it sounds disinterested, but Monty answers anyway

“Who Niko? Oh god no, she's like- my sister,” Monty barks out a laugh and sits up onto his own bed and looks over at Edwin who is sitting at his typewriter, “she uh, she's like my sister. We met in like, the 10th grade? But she's like the most lesbian girl I know, we would never date.”

“That's very nice. Sorry for the misinterpretation” he's looking up from his typewriter now, paying some actual attention to Monty

“No, no, it's okay. We are like, really touchy? So I guess I could see why you got that, especially with the whole ‘I LOVE YOU’ thing. What about you and-”

Just then Charles bursts in singing some pop song interrupting Monty's question and tossing down a book to Edwin's bed before he starts rambling about something with Crystal and how she's coming up next weekend. Monty has now tuned them out and turned back to his book, reading about Capricorn and their relationships with Virgos.

“Excuse me, Charles, I was having a conversation, can you ever restrain yourself? You can't can you?. Sorry Monty, what were you saying?”

Monty looks up from his book quickly trying to act like he doesn't care, even though he very much does “No it uh- okay you two should do what you were doing, I think I might go talk to Nighty.” and with that Monty gets up from his bed, leaving Edwin to follow his movement slightly unbeknownst to Monty. And though he said he would, he does in fact, not talk to Nighty, not at all.

Instead, he grabs his jacket from where he put it in the common area and goes outside to bird watch and puts in his headphone cord to his iPod, letting the last playlist he was listening to play out, with it picking up on Everybody’s Changing by Keane.

Notes:

So… what do you think??? I’m liking it and I think this time I might be able to write quicker and finish it quicker than before

Chapter 2: Step One to Getting Sick: Stay Outside in the Winter for Far to Long

Notes:

Thank you all for your support 🫶 you’re all to sweet. Sorry for the long wait… chapter three should be out in a week/week and a half!

Sunday movie nights in the dorm are always pretty fun. Only about 12 people were living in the dorms; usually, no more than 8 came out for the movies. Nobody fought much either, most people not actually paying attention to the movie but trying to make a move on someone else or just there for the food.

Monty was neither of the two, instead, he was there just to watch things with people and feel less alone. He had grown up mute until he was 13 and was one of those eccentric kids who really was just shy. And being a queer teen in a small town circa the 1990ish left him often lonely and willing to whatever social opportunities he could get.

And he wasn't like he used to be, in the 10th grade Niko moved from Osaka to New Hampshire and they became close and Monty stepped out of his shell, but even though he was more confident he still didn't know his classmates too well so when he could, he'd sit down on the lumpy couch and watch cheesy comedies and sappy rom-coms just for some of that classic assimilation.

The only thing different about movie night for Monty this time was the runny nose and coughing he started spotting the day before. Ever since his brief conversation with Edwin, Monty had been avoiding the dorm and instead spending too much time outside or in the campus library till he had to walk home in below-freezing temperatures. All of this for 6 days has left his body catching up to him and the torment has been putting it through. But hell be damned if he doesn't sit through this goddamn movie because the idea of more awkward small talk or, god, an ingenuine apology, was worse than that slight shiver of his spine.

The one thing Monty hadn't counted on was his peers thinking his constant sniffs and barked-out coughs were worse than anything. If only they could understand his dilemma or the one they were putting him into by making him go back to his room. Well, either that or have Nighty spout out a lecture about how ignorant and selfish he was because ‘other people want a break from all the work they have and you're here just ticking everyone off’ and if the accent she cursed every sentence with wasn't enough to get him going, than the pitchy shriek she had sure as hell did.

So with whatever energy he had left, Monty trudged himself back to the bathroom - neglecting to brush his teeth and instead gargling water and splashing some on his face - then moving to his bedroom, his shiver picking up, and throwing all his blankets on himself, asleep for the night.

 

When Monty wakes up for the first time its to a polite hand on his shoulder shaking him awake, only for him to respond with a mumbled “to’ erweey fo tis” said more to his pillow that whatever woke him up, he promptly falls back asleep, unaware of the sweat-soaked hair clinging to his face and the red tint of his face.

 

The second time he wakes up is to a more urgent throat scratching against the air he’s coughing out with one firm hand patting his back and another voice talking from just out of his listening range. And when he finally can sit up and look around without the world spinning he sees one Charles patting his back and Edwin in the doorway with a phone by his ear that clearly isn't his by the way he operates it.

A thermometer is held up to him and he takes it with a sweaty hand and waits for the inevitable BEEP. Once he can take it out of his mouth he hands it back off only to hear ‘101.8’ called out.

Well, that explains the horrible feeling in his head- his brain is melting! And maybe so are his lungs bones and eyeballs? No matter what, it's all still too much for his body to handle and it's all he can do to not just break down and start crying out like a child for someone to coddle him.

Instead of doing anything of the sort, he instead bolts out of his bed blinking it for the bathroom where he pukes up whatever popcorn he had last night.

“Shit-” he thinks “I hope I haven't got anyone else sick” but that's a long-forgotten thought when his head is tossed back down in the hopefully clean toilet. Damn winter, damn the cold, and damn the fucking school system for not prepping him for reasonable life skills when you're deliriously sick. Why should he know more about finding derivatives than he does about what medicine is going to help fastest?

His thoughts are interrupted by Edwin's voice tentative at the door of the bathroom.

“You slept through your lessons today, but Nighty informed me that she alerted your professors, though I'm not exactly sure how… but never mind that I just called a friend of mine who is picking you up medicine. She should be here in a half hour or so, so when you hear the knock on the door, that'll be her. Either she’ll come in and drop it off on your desk or she’ll leave it outside of the door for you to get whenever you feel up for it. I think that is all.” Edwin looks around the bathroom fully and continues “I would ask if you are alright but I presume you are not, so I do hope you get better.” he goes to turn around before Monty calls out.

“Why can't you get the meds from your friend? I don't know if I can get back up from the floor here let alone my bed.”

Edwin, a little started by the question, presuming they were done ‘talking’ doesn't answer immediately but when he does he spits out an awkward “Well- exams are coming up and I can't be sick for those or for studying so I am going to go to Charles’s house to stay there until you get better, you understand right?”

Ever since Monty was a kid he didn't like being by himself when he was sick but when you have a mom like his, you don't say that, maybe it’s the goo of his brain or the sickness clouding his judgment but before he can think of a normal answer he blurts out “I don't like to be alone when I'm sick”.

“Well- I- am sorry but I just.”

“No, no I'm sorry it's okay you can go I don't even know why I said that I'm just a little,” he gestures to his head as if to show how he's not acting like he normally would “You should probably go now, I'm gonna- know.” Monty finally looks away from Edwin's pitying gaze and begins to unstick himself from the now sweaty toilet seat and when he looks back at the door Edwin is gone.

 

Twenty minutes later when Monty has taken a cold shower and finally brushed his teeth, he slugs back to his room, content to lay until he gets medicine, but instead, he's met with Tylenol cold and flu pills set out next to a glass of water on his desk and a made bed. Not only that but a composed roommate in the bed across from his with some historical literature in his hands, reading glasses slid too far down on his nose to look serious, and blue blankets to his torso. A sight Monty wishes he could memorize.

Monty breaks the calm of the room by asking “Edwin? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Monty! You surprised me! I uhm-” he attempts a natural-sounding cough and thumps his chest once with the hand no longer holding his book and continues, “I think I may have caught your flu so it would've been silly for me to contaminate more people. So I thought id stay here.”

Monty just laughs a little and moves to get comfortable and take his medicine when Edwins says one more thing, almost absentmindedly “There's an icepack under your pillow to try and cool it down. You can try and cool yourself down if you're feeling hot again”

Monty wants to respond, but really, he's too tired and instead just looks over and smiles at Edwin, hoping he gets the message of thank you, but he doesn't have much time to think on any of that before he closes his eyes and promptly falls asleep.

Notes:

I hope everyone had a good Christmas or Hanukkah! I know I did, it was a much needed break after all those nasty exams. Sorry for the wait, writers block, studying, and family events have made it hard to keep up with this but stuff should be more calmed down soon. Hope you all have a good new years celebration and get to have a midnight kiss to start the year😉

Chapter 3: Misunderstandings are Often Misunderstood

Notes:

Im so sorry that this chapter is short and wasn’t out earlier, I got strep throat and then a cold and was out of commission for 5 days! I worked on this when I had time, but I didn’t have much time 😔

“Good morning”

“You too”

~

“Class today?”

“Not until 10”

“Okay”

~
“Is your friend coming over again tonight?”

“No, he's working. Why?”

“Just curious.”

~
“Do you need the bathroom?”

“No.”

 

For 2 weeks, this is how all conversations between Monty and Edwin go. It's like small talk but smaller. Tiny talk, maybe. Sure, it's more than the first 2 months of school, but it's still painfully boring, and honestly, Monty just really really wants to talk again like that first time before Charles interrupted. He’s tried getting Edwin's attention, like when he tried thanking Edwin for staying when he was sick but Edwin just stood firm on his story that he thought he was sick, as unbelievable as that was. Maybe this is what you get when you try and flirt with someone who's most likely taken.

Currently, he's been mildly stalking Edwin and has picked up on a book he’s re-read a couple of times. Monty first picked up on it when Edwin kept it on his desk when other books cycled out much more often. And rather shamefully, he got Niko to check it out from her local library when he couldn't find it on the campus one.

Said book was a collection of poems by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. If he's being completely honest, he doesn't get all of it and finds the guy to be talking a strange sort of nonsense and more times than not since Niko dropped off the book, he's had to write down a lot of questions he has about the poems to look them up at the library. The thing is though, is that Henry is a lot more interesting than his writing in Monty's opinion, so he's hoping that if he can catch Edwin's eye and strike up a conversation, it will be about Henry's character more than his writing.

 

The day of reckoning, when all of his weird behavior comes to the surface, and he must face his actions. Edwin has asked about Monty’s current literature choice.

“Good afternoon Monty. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting but I just wanted to ask about the book you've been reading? I noticed it was actually one of my favorites. I was wondering if you perhaps... Wanted to discuss Mr. Longfellows' work?”

“Okay uhm yeah totally, I just like, I'm gonna be totally honest with you, I don't think I understand a lot of his poems. I mean, I like him, especially from what I've read about his story with his wife, but his poems don't really like- make sense. It's like a bunch of words that are supposed to be meaningful and stuff but they're just pushed together in hopes it works. That’s what most old literature is though.” Monty moves his chair to face Edwins, which he's just sat down in.

“I understand what you mean in some regard, but could you give me a more specific example?”

“Okay, yeah totally, let me just find,” Monty flips through the book and lands on Becalmed. “I just don't get what it means. To me, it seems like it's about getting inspiration and using the sea as a metaphor?”

Monty leans over the book looking closer like that would show him the meaning, but before he has enough time to get his eyes crossed from looking too close, Edwin puts his hand on Monty's shoulder, pulling him back a bit but not letting go when monty moves, instead using his right hand to point at the page and he begins to explain specific parts of the writing. He goes on about why some words are better used than others and so on and so forth. They go about this until they have to turn on a lamp on Monty's desk and Monty grabs a blanket from his bed. Edwin takes his hand off of Monty not long after he puts it on him but he stays close to Monty the entire time, the two of them occasionally brushing their knees when one leans in to point something out or when the other adjusts in their seat.

They're not talking to each other though, it's more talking out loud for the other, and most comments and remarks remain unresponded to. It is peaceful though, almost domestic. When Monty thinks this though, he panics more than a little. He knows he's trying to flirt, and he knows that he's crossing a line because Edwin is dating someone. He needs to stop. He needs to back up and put his book away, say goodnight, and STOP flirting with Edwin.

And so he does just that. He spits out an excuse - “I have a test tomorrow, I need to sleep!” - and he packs his book up and throws himself under the covers before Edwin can question. He's still in his day clothes when he does fall asleep. He doesn't turn around or even get out of bed until he hears Edwin's breathing even out, he's too scared for the confrontation. Once it's just him awake, he turns over, sets his alarm before Edwin will wake, and finally goes to sleep.

 

When the alarm on his desk starts going off, Monty goes to hit snooze when an entire night's memories crawl back up his brain and hit like a freight train.

He cannot be up when Edwin gets up.

He bolts up to hit snooze.

He's not fast enough. Well, he was, but Edwins already awake sitting at his desk typing on his clacky typewriter with bags under his eyes. He has not slept well.

Monty realizes he's been looking too long and instead of checking on Edwin like he'd like to do, he moves his blankets off and starts getting ready for school, yesterday's clothes still on and backpack hanging off his shoulder. When he goes to open the door and leave Edwin speaks out.

He asks “Did I do something wrong? You got… weird last night. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Monty didn't think about that, that he might have hurt Edwin's feelings, but he did know that it wasn't Edwin's fault he was getting too close to him, and he just didn't want to get in the way of his relationship.

“No, you didn't. I just got worried that.. Yknow? I don't want you thinking I'm hitting on you. I don't- I'm not- just didn't want you to think there was something going on. Sorry.”

“Oh- no I did not think that. You dont have to worry! You can leave now, i just wanted to ask that.” Edwins tone is edged and dull. He seems upset but Monty doesnt know what he did or how to fix it.

Notes:

Again, I’m sorry that this is so short but I tried my best ☹️

Chapter 4: Much Needed Advice, From a Mostly Sane Friend

Notes:

So…. I got the ao3 curse… not long after the last chapter was published, my computer was stolen, I went home for the summer and got pneumonia (yes, in the summer!) it took me about 4 weeks to recover, and then I had to help my parents move my Grammy into a hospice center! All in all, my summer was difficult, and I had no time to write, for which I am very sorry.

Monty feels bad. Really bad if he's being honest. Charles stops coming by, but Edwin also stops staying. He comes back late and leaves early. Monty knows he's in the library; he's seen him in there with Charles, sometimes by himself. They don't talk at all, and even when they should, they don't. It's like he's living with a ghost. Edwins is there only when he has to be, and Monty knows it's his fault. So yeah- he feels bad and he has no clue how to fix it.

He's been brainstorming with Niko, who thoroughly rang him out for being so rude, no matter his intentions.

“Monty! Just pushing yourself away like that and being all” she lowers her voice to mock Monty’s “I didn't want you to get the wrong idea blah blah blah. THAT'S SO MEAN!” she shrieks, “imagine how devastated you'd be if he said that to you? I mean, if someone said that to me, I would be ignoring them too. Like- at all costs. I'm not even joking Monty, You've crossed a gay line; you're gonna need to apologize really well if you want any shot at even being FRIENDS. ‘Don't get any ideas?’ Gosh, were you even thinking? You poor pale boy…”

“For the love of god.” Monty sighs, “Stop commenting on how pale I am, you know I don't have a say in my tanning abilities.”

“That's not the point Monty, you're ignoring my actual point because you don't want to talk about what you did wrong!” Niko pinches the bridge of her nose looking away from Monty.

Niko gets up from where she's sitting and walks across the room, grabbing a scrap book from her desk drawer. She walks back over, standing in front of Monty, while flipping through different pages and pointing to photos. “Remeber Michael? Or how about Chris? David? Josh? Do any of these ring a bell? These are all the boys you got close with and ended up running away from for one reason or another.” Monty goes to interrupt her, but Niko shushes him. “No, you're going to listen to me right now, because you need to hear this. You know I love you, and you're like my brother, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be honest with you.”
Niko sets the book down on the end of her bed, and sits next to monty, setting her hand on his knee, “Monty, you are horrible at maintaining a relationship. You're so bad that you've had more broken bones than relationships, and you've never broken anything! You can’t for the life of you let your relationships get far because you're scared. And I understand, I really do. I know your relationship with your mother has made other relationships for you difficult but Monty, you cant hurt others just because you're hurting too. She's still in New England, and you're half a thousand miles away from her. You have me, and you're going to make so many other friends. I'm not going to force you to tell Edwin that you like him, but I need you to apologize.”

Niko leans in and hugs Monty as he lets out a light chuckle. “To be fair though, Niks, David was really weird.” They pull back but Niko keeps her arms on Monty's shoulder. “Ha! yeah you got me there, he was a total weirdo, like level 100 out of 10 weird.”

Monty ran his hands down her arm to grab her hands. “I'll talk to him soon, I promise. I'll try to be better. Thank you Niko, I love you very much.”

“Youd be insane not to!”

Notes:

I’m a little out of my groove, so I hope this chapter can live up to your standards! Soon they’ll talk, I promise. It’ll be in a chapter or two, and maybe they’ll get closer soon too…. 😉 sorry this is so short, I’ll try and make the next one longer to make up for it!