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Drag me from the depths and teach me to breathe

Summary:

One cold evening Regulus Black walks into a cave, knowing it may be his last.

Little does he know that there are people out there who refuse to let him go.

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Or:

Sirius and James save Regulus just in time and chaos ensues. Featuring Regulus adamantly refusing to accept help and everyone else adamantly refusing to let him fight Voldy alone.

Notes:

Hello.

First of all - thank you so much for clicking on this fic. Seriously (heh). I genuinely have no idea where this will go or if it will be even halfway decent, but I've had this concept bouncing around in my lovely neurodivergent brain for a good hot minute and just HAD to write it.

Hopefully it will still be a fun story to tell and an even more fun story to read.

Also. This is my first time writing fanfiction in literal years, with this being my first time venturing into the world of Marauders fanfic writing so...please be kind? Please leave comments and kudos and all those things! Let me know what you think - unless you just want to bash on my writing...nobody likes that so please no.

It's okay if you don't like it, everyone is entitled to preferences and opinions, but I would very much like to keep this a safe space for creative fun in a fandom that took me a long time to feel comfortable with.

If you start reading and it isn't your cup of tea, then feel free to just click away and read something else. Otherwise, please enjoy! Happy reading <3

~Fox

Also, I feel like it needs to be said - this fic has been tagged as explicit. This is because of the dark tones and VERY strong depictions of violence. I don't really know how I feel about writing smut, so please know that.

Finally, I hope it goes without saying given the characters and tags for this fic, but just so that it is perfectly clear - Support trans rights. Protect trans kids. Fuck JKR.

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Possible trigger warnings:

- blood and violence
- near-death experiences
- drowning
- characters putting themselves in dangerous situations with very little concern for their own wellbeing
- family trauma
- child abuse and use of unforgivables on minors
- swearing. lots of swearing.

(I'm sure I missed some, but those were the main ones I could think of. Please be safe!)

Chapter 1: Death of a star

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Regulus hit the water with a slide and a splash and a crack.

It was cold. And it was red.

Claws ripped through him. Into his skin. Into his chest. Into his soul.

They were digging. Hunting. Searching for the very thing that made his heart beat…but he knew they wouldn’t find it.

Not here.

Regulus let out a scream that turned into gurgle as his head was pulled down, below the water’s surface. The liquid slipping past his lips, down his throat, and into his lungs.

He had always love water. Especially the rain.

How it always reminded Regulus of him. Of droplets dripping down dark skin. Wetting unruly curls. Sticking to eyelashes that made little flecks of green and gold hidden amongst brown glisten.

How it made him think of the lake and that little secret smile they shared each time the rain fell, knowing one would find the other by the bank under the misty air. A lazy afternoon. A refuge from the chaos of reality. Something rare and sacred that he cherished while he still could.

Water had meant safety. It meant he was home.

But now…it was filling his lungs. Filling him with a chill that surpassed anything he had ever endured before.

The water was killing him.

He was going to die.

He was going to die, and it would be for nothing.

A failed attempt at doing the right thing for once in his life and coming up short. Like always. Always too late. Never enough.

The light from the crystal island mocked Regulus from above, filtering through the water like a teasing dance of hope. False hope. Just another lie.

He reached a pale hand up from within the cacophony of blood and claws and teeth, reaching for something. For someone. Someone who wasn’t there. Wasn’t there because he had made it so. Had pushed them away until they stopped trying to help. Stopped trying to save him. Stopped trying to love him. He had made himself unlovable and was paying the price.

They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes, Not for Regulus. It wasn’t his life or the memory of what it felt like to live that came to him in those last moments. He wasn’t even sure if he had ever felt such a thing.

No. As he felt the blood drain from his body and the oxygen leave his lungs, Regulus didn’t think of himself or his own life that had always been destined to be cut short. Instead, Regulus thought of the world. Of his world. Of their world.

He thought of the Ocean and the Wind. Ebbing and flowing. The tide pushing and pulling them together.

He thought of the Earth and the Moon. Grounding and wonderful. Always orbiting around the thing that held them, and the rest of the solar system, together.

He thought of the Storm and the Snow. Exciting and dangerous. Mesmerising in their presence and power.

He thought of the Flower and the Butterfly. Beautiful and calming. Helping each other in ways only they can.

And finally, he thought of the Sun and the Stars. Brilliant and Bright. Never too far apart. Adored by many, but always out of reach.

Regulus closed his eyes as he accepted his fate. A fate he had brought upon himself and could only blame himself for.

If only he could have done more. Warned them somehow. Made sure they were safe. He didn’t care what happened to himself, so long as their world kept turning. But now, no-one could save them. No-one could stop the darkness that was heading their way. About to swallow them whole.

He had tried…but he had been too late.

So, with his final breath, his last drop of air, Regulus allowed a name to leave his lips. The name of a star. Their star. 

Sirius.”

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed chapter one! Thank you for reading <3

Again, thank you so much for giving me and my fic a chance - I love and appreciate you immensely! Please feel free to leave a comment or kudos - it helps the neurospicy brain feel validated and gives a good boost of serotonin.

Until next time.

~Fox