Just look my way

by M3ggym00m00

Summary:

Blitzo has known fear and heartache his entire hellish existence. He knows the pain so intimately, that he had almost forgotten that he isn’t the only one, living such a harsh truth.

If the infester demon had one thing objectively correct, it is that people are too wrapped up in their own shit to understand that they aren’t the only one in that tumultuous boat.

Misery loves company after all.

He was reminded harshly of the fact now. His eyes dancing across the prone figure in his bathtub. The sound of distress bouncing off the walls around him. Blitzo had never wanted to see the car wreck of others' lives, to watch on the side as yet another person he held in his fractured heart crumbled into nothing.

To have to face the fact that he was here, again. A helpless onlooker.

Notes:

This is my first time posting to A03 in years, all of my old works are no longer up but with the new episode out, and my inability to get it out of my head, has prompted me to start writing again.

I hope you enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Blitzo has known fear and heartache his entire hellish existence. He knows the pain so intimately, that he had almost forgotten that he isn’t the only one, living such a harsh truth.

If the infester demon had one thing objectively correct, it is that people are too wrapped up in their own shit to understand that they aren’t the only one in that tumultuous boat.

Misery loves company after all.

He was reminded harshly of the fact now. His eyes dancing across the prone figure in his bathtub. The sound of distress bouncing off the walls around him. Blitzo had never wanted to see the car wreck of others' lives, to watch on the side as yet another person he held in his fractured heart crumbled into nothing.

To have to face the fact that he was here, again. A helpless onlooker.

“Here we are”

The muffled sound of his own voice filtered in hazily, a cheap imitation of a smile plastered across his aching face as the suds dripped between his fingers, coating the fragile feathers below.
His eyes ghosted over the sponge, cringing when all he could see was the remanence of Stolas's heart between his fingers, the harsh squeeze draining it of life.

Nothing about this was okay.

Pained trills pushed past the ex-princes beak. His knees drawn. His face void of anything that resembled the man Blitzo knew.
The reality of the situation hung stagnant in the air around them. Stolas had willingly laid down his life, had survived but had ultimately lost everything. His home, his money, his job and his daughter.

Something told Blitzo that only one of those things truly mattered to stolas.

There was nothing he could do, or say.

 

An indiscernible amount of time had passed when stolas fazed back into reality. Unfocused vision drifted across the expanse of the room before him, his bones as heavy as led, weighed down into the sofa cushions, a burning ache settled between his rib cage, old aches radiating from angelic scarring. A pain he had not felt since those first days of recovery.

He supposed the Goetion magic had helped in nullifying any form of chronic pain.

It didn’t matter.

The supernova in his heart was enough to mask the pain of the physical body.

Octavia.

His daughter, his starfire.

Stolas felt sick.

 

What felt like only moments passed again, the only difference being a warm glow of light peeking through drawn curtains, the beam dancing across his faceplate.

And then more time passed.

And the light was gone.

He could hear the soft hum of voices in the background, couldn’t make sense of any of it, didn’t really much care to either. His daughter was in the clutches of his long term abuser. A lady who had never raised a hand to her before, too content to aim her rage at Stolas himself over the years but without his presence as a buffer? Who knows.

Perhaps the simple fact that Octavia will be the one to inherit stolas power one day is enough to stifle any thought of abuse. After all, she is her only ticket to her comfortable lifestyle. He also knew that somewhere deep down Stella did in fact care for Octavia, in her own twisted way. The same fortune had never been bestowed upon Stolas himself.

She would whisper lies into the ear of his beloved Starfire though, that he was sure. Any hope for a relationship with his daughter, even after the 100 year sentence is all but impossible now.

She will keep her away from him.

He’s never going to see her again.

The pain coursed through his entire being, the ache so harsh that his mind couldn’t comprehend it anymore, a numbness settling over his bones like a blanket of ice. Seeping through his body and clutching at his shattered heart. Seizing his lungs.

 

It would have been better if he had died. A conclusion stolas has drawn many times in his life.

The thoughts latched on at an early age and had continued to leech off of him like a cancer for years now.

 

“I don’t know what to do Loony, I don’t know how to help him” Blitzo whispered, fingers nervously drumming the mug of now lukewarm coffee. Loona peered over at stolas through the door of the kitchen, eyes landing on his still form.

 

The smell of pain and sadness radiated off the ex-prince. Filling the space around them, oppressive and strong. Loons felt her ears pin against her head.

 

She didn’t really know Stolas, they had only ever been in the same room a handful of times. Her pre conceived notion of him was that of rampant horniness, dramatics and undoubtedly his love for his daughter. Not a lot to go on really.

What she did know for sure however, was that he was willing to shoulder the weight of consequence, to give his own life to save Blitzo’s.

To save her Dad.

She did not envy the position he was now in. He saved a life at the expense of potentially never seeing Octavia again. A consequence he did not foresee, after all he had laid his head on the chopping block. Not expecting to see tomorrow.

On top of that, Stolas has played to Satan's bais probably aware that it was the only way to shift focus from Blitzo. The only way to save him.

And now all of Hell hated him. All but a handful.

“I think just being here, is all we can do”

 

Loons watched as Blitzo ran a tired hand down his face.

“Fuck Loony, I just- we have to watch him like a hawk. I’m worried, I’m worried that he…”

The words were left unspoken. He couldn’t breathe them into existence.

Loona sighed, pulling two cigarettes free from her nearly empty packet, she held out her hand, a silent invitation.

 

“Me, Millie and Moxie can handle IMP for a bit, I think you need to stay here with him”

 

Blitzo took the offered cigarette, placing it between his lips as he nodded. As the end lit, a thin stream of smoke began to permeate the air. His eyes tracking the motion.

“I think we could all use a few days' break. You guys can handle IMP without me after that, I can’t... fuck, I can’t even think about it right now”

Silence fell between them.

 

“He needs to eat” Blitzo murmured, flicking the last of the ash. Loona nodded, pulling out a pan from the kitchen Cupboard.

“I’ll handle that, you go see if you can get the lanky bird to drink some water… you know, for being so tall I’ve never seen someone take up less space… it’s… concerning”

 

Blitzo silently agreed.

 

He made his way over to Stolas, a glass in hand. Before long Blitzo was kneeling in front of the sofa, worried eyes gazing up at red hues, white pupils staring straight through him. Blitzo had to wonder how long Stolas had been like this. Staring into the void. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Stolas had not overheard the conversation prior. His bird was somewhere far away, he only hoped he could reach him.

“Hey pretty bird, listen I- we really think you should have some water, eat something. Whaddya say Stol’s?”

Only silence followed.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been back. You haven’t moved all day… I think we should try and eat something, yeah?” A nervous stutter punctured Blitzo’s words. He reached out, carding his fingers through Stolas's head feathers, his wandering hands landing on the side of his face, caressing his soft features.

“Please Stols, come back to me”

The sound of shuffling stole his eyes away for only a moment, they landed on his daughter, standing a respectful distance away, a plate of food in hand.

His loony looked sad.

 

“Thank you sweetie”

 

What came next eviscerated what was left of Blitzo’s crumbling heart. Pained hoots and trills began to reverberate between the four walls around them. The body that lay still only moments ago. Shaking with a voracity that scared the ever living shit out of Blitzo.

Blitzo tracked the motion of stolas’s hand that started to grip into his chest plumage, a vice that began to tug and pull at his feathers, breaking away from his skin harshly. Flecks of blood pooling around his talons as the sharp edges pushed further into his now mortal flesh.

 

“Woah hey, n-none of that. Come on Stol’s you're hurting yourself” Blitzo’s stared down frantically at Stolas’s hands, his own shaking with dread, it rocked him to his core.

Gently, he began to pry Stolas's grip away from his chest, enveloping them in his own. He cringed as a few of the feathers that were pulled loose floated to the floor.

 

“He’s having a panic attack” a quiet voice said behind him.

“M-my via” stolas whined, the sound reminding Blitzo of a cornered, dying animal. The words tumbling from his beak breathlessly.

“I can’t… I my starfire she- oh lucifer”

 

Nothing about this was okay.

Chapter 2

Notes:

I was planning to post one chapter every couple of days but I couldn't resist writing more sooooo enjoy :)

Stolas was asleep again.

Loona couldn't really blame the guy, the last twenty minutes had been hard to bear witness to. The devastation after the fact, still clung to her in the form of beaded sweat and a crease in her brow that furrowed deeper at the sight that was laid out before her. A painted picture of grief.

Stolas had spiralled, very slowly and then, all at once. From a still figure on their sofa to someone so desperate to find purchase within his own mind that he clung to himself with a force that tore skin and pulled feathers harshly from their purchase. Blitzo was still kneeling in front of him, running soothing circles on the hands that had only moments ago inflicted damage.

She had never seen Blitzo like this before, so subdued, so quiet. It was hard to watch in all honesty.

Blitzo had done an amazing job of calming Stolas down. Which wasn't all that surprising really. When she had first moved in, there were things that Loona struggled to adjust to, and on the odd occasion. Things were too much.

He always knew what to do, even though, at the time she was too full of hatred to appreciate it.

“Could you get the medical kit for me?” the words were spoken in a hushed tone, the circular motion never ceasing.

“Loony?”

A pained wine escaped from deep within her throat. Taking all parties present by surprise, Loona cleared her throat, trying to dislodge the rising emotions that were clawing their way to the surface.

“Yeah…. Uh yeah sorry Dad” With a final glance to Stolas she made her way to the bathroom.

How can she help? ya know besides floating around behind Blitzo as he frantically tried to glue the pieces of Stolas back together again.

As Loona bent down to retrieve the kit, the downwards motion pulled the phone from her pocket free, it clattered to the floor and skidded off to the side.

Her eyes locked on to it.

She had Vias’s number. Maybe she could contact her? Would Stolas like that? Or would it be crossing a line.

Another sigh escaped her as she picked it back up again.

 

Blitzo was in way over his head. How do you even begin to comfort someone who has lost their child? Octavia might not be dead but with Stella now holding all of the power, it didn't take a genius to understand the implications that it held.

Stella liked to torment Stolas, that was obvious. What above all else would cause a gaping wound big enough to render him to such a state of anguish just shy of killing her?

Preventing a father from seeing his daughter.

The acrid burn of shame and guilt boiled its way to the surface, igniting his skin. Stolas has lost everything. To save an imp, a clown, a disappointment.

His eyes grew misty with unshed tears, he had to pull himself together. For Stolas.

He had to make this okay. Somehow.

He had a hold of Stolas now, and he was too selfish to let go.

 

Loona shuffled back into the room, kit in hand. She placed it next to Blitzo, her gaze lingered on Stolas briefly before turning to the imp.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me… I need some time to process what the fuck is happening”

 

“It's been a bit of a shit show hasn't it Loony? Talk about getting fucked in the A by Satan's massive fucking dick” the words were light but they hung heavily in the air around them. Blitzo grimaced at his own wording before rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, a nervous chuckle escaping from his lips.

“I don't know what the fuck I'm doing”

“You're doing everything you can”

 

As Blitzo began to clean the blood from this bird's abused feathers, he ran a clawed finger through them in order to smooth them back out. Gently preening Stolas as he went. “You’ll be okay Stols, we’ll figure it out. I promise”

 

He only hoped that he wasn't lying.

 

More time had passed it seemed, as Stolas looked out at the apartment once again. An uneaten plate of food sat off to the side. Stolas realised with a surge of shame that the food had been meant for him and he hadn't eaten it, letting it go to waste.

Even now, he was a leech. Consuming those around him. Wasting Blitzo’s food and time. Taking up space in his home.

Disgraceful.

Before he had a chance to spiral further, Blitzo appeared in his line of vision, a steaming cup of presumably tea in his hand.

“G’morning Stols, this is for you” as if to emphasise the point he wiggled the cup slightly and pushed it further into Stolas’s vicinity. Silently pleading with him to take the cup, to get something in his system.

The thought of consuming anything right now had Stolas’s insides churn but the hopeful glint in Blitzo’s eye persuaded him to at least try. As he shifted his weight, pulling his uncooperative body upright, the twinges of pain from his prior injuries flared to life, taking him by surprise.

A sharp inhale notifying Blitzo to the discomfort.

“You, ah-okay?”

A beat of silence

“Shit, bad question. Sorry, But erh I mean are you in pain?” he fumbled over his own words, placing the cup down to help Stolas if needed.

“I'm fine Blitzo, just an old injury” His voice coming out strained and quiet from lack of use.

“An old injury what the fuck does that mean?... wait do you mean from, Striker?” The question came hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

“It doesn't matter Blitzo”

A stubborn look flashed across the Imps face, his hands squeezing into fists. Blitzo must have caught on to the rising feeling, the spark Stolas knew was there and quickly stamped it back down to the pit of his stomach. Trying to keep his composure.

“I have cream, use it on my scars sometimes. It helps”

“Oh I couldn't possible use up anymore or your-”

“Stolas for fuck sake, do not finish that motherfucking sentance, I want to help… please. Let me help you”

Other than an overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness that threatened to drown Stolas ever since the courtroom, no other emotion had managed to creep up within him, not until right now.

Anger and shame bubbled up to the surface, defensive and vicious “I am not a charity case Blitzo, -my- problems are not -your- problems” the anger began to dissipate just as quickly as it had come “I can’t… ask that of you. I cannot, I will not, tether myself to you in that way. I do not wish to force myself upon you, not again, not like…”

The words died in his throat, yet another failure brought to light. To do what had been done to him. To hold that power over someone, and in a way his crime was worse, the crime of being completely...oblivious... to it, being so consumed by himself.

Selfish.

 

The feeling of arms wrapping around his slender form, pulled him from his own self depreciation. A surprised hoot leaving him as Blitzo crashes into him.

“You stupid bitch… I thought I was gonna lose you in that courtroom, I still feel like I migh… T-the point is I want to be tethered to you dumbass. I want to help you”

Stolas was sat bonelessly within Blitzo’s hold, the fleeting notion of surprise flowing through him when warm hot droplets of water began to gather on the shirt Loona had leant him.

It was all he needed to bring his arms tightly around Blitzo, he felt the desperation rise within him, the desperation to be held, to be touched.

To be cared for.

Something that had never been bestowed upon him by others, only that of his daughter before he had fucked up their relationship. The feeling of Blitzo wrapped around him, the feeling of his tail squeezing his midsection gently, sent electricity coursing through his very being.

To be loved, such a beautiful thing.

 

A beautiful thing that he did not deserve.

Chapter 3

Notes:

This isn’t as long or as detailed as I would like, but I’m going to be busy the next few days so wanted to post something 🥸

I have a very clear direction I want to go in but I decided to add a little bit of fluff to the otherwise ANGST FEST that this fic is most definitely going to become 😂

Anyway, I hope you enjoy 🎉

A few days had passed, time a fleeting pre conceived notion that meant absolutely nothing to Stolas but also meant…. everything.

He tried so hard to ground himself in reality, to be able to perceive the passing of time but thinking about how only a few days were over, knowing how many stretched on until his banishment ended.

He supposed it didn’t matter, Via would not wish to entertain the thought of her father even after the sentence had played its course.

A shimmer of hope however, a small and dying flame within him was clinging on to the fact that he may be allowed some form of visitation. Perhaps Stella would not be so cruel as to prevent via from making her own choice on the matter?

It didn’t seem likely, but if the tiny flame that danced to the somber melody of his heart were to go out.

He didn’t want to think about it.

Stolas was struggling to keep food down. His stomach in knots. The weight that he did not have to lose was falling off of him at an alarming rate and a dull ache had been radiating from his shoulder blade, the muscle around his legs pulsating with strain.

It had been five days since he last took any of his happy pills. His hands shook from the withdrawal, his mind clouded, feeling as though someone had stuffed cotton into his brain.

 

He didn’t want to worry Blitzo anymore than he already had. So he tried so desperately to plaster some semblance of normal across his features. He offered to help clean, to cook but when the smell of food wafted up to greet him, bile would rise to the back of his throat and he would spend another afternoon hunched over the toilet bowl. Blitzo next to him, telling him stories about his horse figurines, the adventures they had.

It was tender and it was devastating, the reality juxtaposed to the soft words and kind touches.

The worried gaze and pitying looks never ceased. From both Blitzo and his daughter.

 

He had never known the Imp to be so gentle, it didn’t feel deserved, he hoped that Blitzo was not doing this out of obligation, something he tried to voice a few nights ago which ended in both of them crying, Blitzo curled in his lap. The soft vibration of purring reverberating through his old hollow bones.

 

Although nothing compared to the pain, the grief of missing his starfire, there was something else that had left him feeling as though someone had scooped everything from inside of him out, a hollow skin puppeted by a pathetic creature that could not stand on its own.

 

He missed the stars, the way they would sing to him. He missed staring out at the constellations, being wrapped in its glow.

Stolas had never felt beautiful, but when he was amongst the stars it was the closest he had ever gotten.

 

It was on a particularly quiet night when he found himself in the presence of Loona, crossed legged, lounging with her back against the side of the sofa, not sitting directly next to Stolas but close.

Blitzo had reluctantly left the small apartment when he noticed they were low on food, The avian had insisted that he go, get out of the general vicinity for an hour or so.

The way Blitzo tail swished in awkward aborted movements portraying his discontent with the idea of leaving Stolas alone. Loona was getting ready to leave and meet someone named Tex, but after hearing the debacle uprooted her plans with a flippant “Honestly I can’t be fucked”

Blitzo had beamed at her from the empty fridge, his features baved in a warm hue. What a beautiful being he was.

Stolas had sighed, he didn’t want her to miss out on time with her friends, it was important to continue living.

“My dear, please go. I’ll be fine”

She had promptly fixed him with a look that screamed

‘in your fucking dreams bitch’

 

So here they were. A low rumble from the TV filled the otherwise silent room. The gentle tapping of Loonas claws against her phone screen accompanied the hum of the commercials.

It felt oh so very domestic.

For the fifth time tonight Stolas found himself staring at the window, almost longing for the red hue of the Sky to part so that he could gaze upon the galaxy just one last time, he had never had the opportunity to take Via to the stars, to teach her what he had taught himself those many years ago.

Now he never would.

 

The rapid tapping came to a halt. Stolas could feel red eyes burning into the side of his head, so he turned to meet her gaze.

“Everything okay dear?”

Her eyes trailed to the open window and then back to Stolas.

“Why the fuck do you keep staring at the window?… I mean not that there’s anything wrong with tha- fuck.. what I’m trying to say is… is there something like bothering you?” She asked, pinching the space between her eyes between her fingers.

It was blunt in a way, her voice gruff but he could hear the care and curiosity below the surface.

“Oh well… before I was… stripped of my power. My job involved the stars. It was… the only part of being a Goetia that I actually found joy in. I suppose I miss the way they used to sing to me”

 

The words were soft, barley above a whisper.

 

“I would have liked, to have visited them one last time”

 

When Stolas looked up at Loona, her ears were low, eyes heavy with sadness. He hadn't meant to put such a damper on the evening, yet again.

 

Within moments Stolas was watching her retreat to her room, the door shutting with a soft click behind her.

Regret for having spoken radiated off of Stolas in waves. Had he forgotten that voicing his silly woes only served to push people away.

The sound of a door shutting brought him back to himself. Loona was back in the room, standing awkwardly off to the side, a small dome like contraption in her hand.

“It’s, I dunno, I thought maybe this would help. Probably stupid but…. Yeah”

The object was thrust in Stolas face, causing the avain to jump slightly, feather ruffling in shock.

“Sorry, shit yeah sorry” she lamented, doing everything in her power to not look at Stolas, clear embarrassment painting her features.

“You just… plug it in”

No sooner than the words left her mouth, had she swiftly turned from Stolas and plonked back down into her previous seat.

 

He blinked owlishly at the dome, fingers tracing the bumps and curves in the clear plastic.

Leaning down he plugged in the socket, the light flickered to life. Illuminating the whole room in a breathtaking imitation of the galaxy, stars plastered across the walls, blue and purple clusters swirling gently around them.

He watched as the constellations beamed across the room, they shone brightly against the dark colour of Loonas jumper.

She had been making a point of not looking in the birds direction.

Something warm, something tentatively happy Bloomed in his chest, a slender hand came up and was placed over his aching heart.

The simple, kind act. Had taken his breath away.

 

He didn’t miss the panicked glare, Loona sent his way when his hand had moved to the plumage he had unconsciously ripped from himself the second night of his stay in the little apartment, a low growl emanating from somewhere deep in her throat, it petered off however when it was clear there was no ill intent.

Instead she was met with silent tears that journeyed the expanse of his features, etching a damp path on its descent, the light catching the droplet. It glistened in the glow of the stars around them.

“Shit was this…. Too much?” Loona asked in a hushed tone, reaching out to unplug the dome.

“No…. This was… perfect. Thank you my dear ”

“Don’t mention it old man”

 

It wasn’t long before Blitzo was barging through the door, bloated shopping bags in tow. The moment he crossed the precipice of the doorframe his eyes zeroed in on Stolas, which then led his eyes to the galaxy starlight around the two people he held closest to his heart.

 

What a beautiful sight indeed.

Notes:

Does anyone know how to add italics!?!?

I can’t seem to do it on either my phone or the laptop 🥲

Chapter 4

Notes:

Hello again :)

The chapter is again, a little short but it has been a BUSY weekend and I am soooo tired but I wanted to post something.

“Why don't you come with us to IMP tomorrow?” The question had come out of seemingly the blue. Blitzo eyes fixed on the side of Stolas head. They had been watching a Hella-Novella that the IMP had insisted they watch in an attempt to bring some form of familiarity to the bird.

 

Blitzo was not an idiot, as opposed to what some people might like to think. Stolas had been putting up a fake aura of, not necessarily happiness but was trying to convince the hellborn that he was doing okay. Which was a big stinking pile of bullshit.

Although Stolas had never mentioned or entertained a conversation about his happy pills, Blitzo was not so dense as to have not seen them during their full moon rendezvous. A few months back and perhaps Blitzo wouldn't have given it a second thought, telling himself that it wasn't his problem that it was too personal to get into with the prince.

How times had changed.

It had been a week, and Stolas had not uttered a peep about it, he had hoped he would come forward about it on his own but as the days stretched on that hope had dwindled. Blitzo could see the ways in which it was causing an abundance of mental strain on top of what he was already dealing with.

 

Blitzo had spent most of his time on the phone to the shitty health care ‘professionals’ of hell during his visits to the store for food and preening oil, which had not gone down well, when he had brought that particular item home. Stolas’s head feathers had puffed out at the sight of it, rapid questions of price and “just why in the hells would you waste money on that” tumbled from his beak.

 

Blitzo had responded in kind, hackles rising, tail whipping in irritation at the lack of self care the avian had adopted. “Stol’s your feathers are matted, they are causing you pain and don't think I haven’t noticed the feathers you've been plucking out of yourself in clear frustration! You're not as sneaky as you seem to fucking think so let me buy some fucking oil and help you sort it! You need to take care of yourself. I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself! I just fucking CAN’T”

 

The words had ripped out of him, his chest heaving. Regret had clawed its way up his throat. Losing his shit was not how he had intended it to go. He knew that getting angry with Stolas was unfair and not at all how he should have handled the situation but he was so scared for his bird.

 

He was terrified.

 

Stolas set every alarm bell in existence off in Blitzo’s head, he knew how close to the edge the avian was. How little it would take for something to send him careening to his demise. He could not…. Would not lose him.

 

Talking to anyone in the medical field in hell for lower class demons was as helpful as Satan's ass crack and he had ended the call he had made a few nights prior by swearing to Lucifer that he would find the little miss bitch face he had been speaking to and rip her a new hole. For being utterly useless. Which had driven him to this moment in time. Stolas had begun to question why Blitzo had not been at work, had insisted that he needn't keep him on suicide watch of all things.

 

“Are you only suggesting this because you don't trust me to be on my own?” the words had come out twinged in bitterness but Blitzo could see Stolas fidgeting with his hands, running them over the little downy feathers of his arms.

There was a pregnant pause. 

“I don't trust you Stolas” The blunt response took the avian by surprise, a tiny hoot escaping him without permission. eyes blown wide.

 

Before he had a chance to respond, Blitzo continued. “Look… I know what it's like to lose everything, trust me. I do. I-I'm not saying that our situations are comparable but I remember how it felt. How hopeless. You said that I should continue to work because it something I'm passionate about, You have insisted relentlessly the past few days and I am offering you a solution that will make us both happy”

 

Stolas stared at him through tired eyes, the weight of his emotions pulling down on his shoulder blades, it was a strain to stay seated upright. He sighed, shaking his head minutely.

 

“Okay Blitzo” The fight having left him.

 

Blitzo’s demeanour untensed, he had expected a fight. Somehow… This was worse.

 

He cracked an awkward smile at the bird “Hey its not that bad, besides it'll be good for you to see some other people and not these four shitty walls all day”

 

“Whatever you think is best” The response was somber but then he reached his slender hand out, brushing his fingers along the top of Blitzo’s in a tender fashion. A small smile adorning his breathtaking features. “For what it's worth, I trust you… I trust you to take care of me when I can’t” A small tear escaping his eye, an involuntary act. Stolas sniffled.

 

“Look at me… always a flair for the dramatics. I hope one day I can return the favour… you've been so unbelievably kind and patient with an old fool such as me” The Imp, taken back by the sudden fondness, found himself reaching out to wipe the offending tears away.

 

“You already have saved me Stol’s. Now it's my turn” The moment however, was interrupted when Loona came through the front door, stopping in her tracks and taking in the scene before her.

 

“Gross” she has said when noticing the intimate moment they had been sharing, but a fond smile had creeped its way onto her face.

 

No sooner had she appeared she had gone again, taking refuge within her bedroom. Giving the two space.

 

Before long the morning had rolled round and all three occupants of the little flat were up and moments away from portalling to IMP. Today Stolas radiated nervous energy, stood awkwardly behind Blitzo. Body tense. This marking the first day since the trial that he had left the general vicinity. There was a risk of other hellborn interacting with Stolas in a negative way but if anyone tried it they'd quickly find themself with a bullet to the head. No exceptions.

 

On top of that, old injuries had been burning with a constant ache ever since losing his power. Another thing he had refused to broach with Blitzo, but the imp knew. His eyes raked over Stolas’s body, taking in his tense stance. “Later today, when we get home you are getting that skinny feathered ass in the Tub so I can give you a massage. It'll help with the ache… I promise. besides …”

 

Blitzo paused for dramatic effect, raising his eyebrows suggestively “You know my fingers can work magic”

 

A red hue of embarrassment blanketed the bird's features, sputtering in clear surprise.

 

“Blitzo”

 

“Erhhh gross!? Keep it in your fucking pants dude” was the dejected response of Loona who was standing by the open portal.

 

“Keep that shit yourself, and come the fuck on”

 

There was a brief moment of panic on Blitzo end, perhaps that was taking it too far. They had not exactly spoken about what they were to each other yet, other things taking precedence. But the worry melted away when Stolas let out a soft, barely audible chuckle. “Really darling, you are too much”

 

At that Blitzo scoffed “Coming from you? The shit that has come out of your mouth? I'm surprised it didn't give you an STD”

 

Another chuckle. A shit eating grin etched across Blitzo's face, pride blossoming in his chest, he had made Stolas laugh, genuinely for the first time in months.

 

It felt good.

Notes:

awww so much fluff but... it will get worse before it gets better. I unfortunately live for the ANGST.

....this is why we can't have nice things XD

Chapter 5

Notes:

I have noticed a few typos in my previous chapters, I will edit them.... eventually :D

Stolas was staring at the portal, he hadn’t expected to be so floored by the appearance of it. Although not the same as the ones he could create, or well used to create. It was familiar enough to send a jolt of longing through his being. 

 

Stolas had never fit the life of an Ars Goetia. Yes he had been sheltered in many ways in which Blitzo was not. He had never had to want for anything material. Stolas had always had a sense of stability. 

 

This however came at a cost. The Ex-prince had been so far removed from life that it was incredibly isolating. Not a commoner but also not recognised as a respected Goetia either. He may have had riches but not at all where it counted. 

 

Doomed to live a life of mental and physical abuse at the hands of a woman who despised him. In a way, during the first few years. He pitied her, she too having been forced into a loveless marriage, her choice being taken from her. 

 

He understood that anger. 

But then it got worse, and he never knew peace. His father didn’t know his name, didn’t care to acknowledge his existence and any time he did, he was met with the harsh slap of reality that he was a failure, a disappointment. Who had been unable to produce an heir in the allotted time. 

Those were the darkest years, being forced to try and conceive a child that he was too young and too terrified to want. That feeling had changed when Octavia hatched. 

The pain, feeling worth it when his eyes landed on her for the first time. The only beacon of light in an otherwise stormy sea. 

He had heard a few days later that it had been pitched to the court that Stolas had been taken advantage of by Blitzo. Such a hypocritical thing to have been uttered, especially from the mouth of Stella's brother. 

 

So the point here is that he didn’t much care about his title being taken from him. In a way it was freeing. But having that stability ripped from under you, having a part of yourself, the stars and the power forcefully unwoven from your bones? 

 

He has never known pain like it. 

 

It was forceful, it stripped him of his autonomy. Like so many times before. 

 

So looking at the portal now, stirred an emotion only one could describe as melancholy. His eyes traced the outline. The shimmer reflected in his eyes. 

A small hand snaked its way into his own. 

 

“If today gets too much, you’ll tell me?” 

 

“Of course” 

Stepping into the office was a rush of adrenaline. He had only been to IMP once, back when Octavia had stolen the book. When he had failed at being a good parent. 

 

A recurring theme it seems 

 

He hadn't really taken in the environment, too panicked and stressed to notice anything. 

 

It was very Blitzo, a decent sized space. A fixer upper but full of character. Unlike anything Stolas had ever owned. It wasn’t perfect but that’s what made it beautiful. 

 

The bird felt very out of place, gangly limbs strung together at his midsection awkwardly. Back slightly hunched in an attempt to look smaller. 

 

No longer than two minutes of being in the respective room had passed when a small but fast mass came barrelling into him. 

“Thank you so much for saving this dumb fucking idiot” came a voice heavily wrapped in a wrathian twang. 

 

The sudden movement startled Stolas, going completely rigid in the process. A hand hovered mid air, a barely contained flinch. 

 

From across the way, the other imp, Moxxie Seemed to notice the movement and frowned slightly. 

 

“....Millie, maybe you should give his high-him… some space” 

 

“No no not at all, it’s okay” he chuckled nervously, willing his arms to wind around the smaller being. He felt the embrace tighten minutely. 

 

“I am so fucking sorry for how they treated you, but we sure are happy to have you here” 

 

Millie took a step back. A small but genuine smile adorning her features. Her eyes shining with unshed tears. 

 

Stolas stared back at her, unsure of how to respond, mind still reeling from the unexpected interaction. Not expecting such a warm reception. Moxie appeared next to Millie, a similar expression mirroring her own. He bowed his head slightly toward the Goetia. 

 

“Millie is right, we owe a lot to you sir” 

 

“Please, call me Stolas” 

 

It was at this moment that Blitzo decided to interrupt in pure Blitzo’s fashion. The taller imp stalking over to moxie and jabbing an unforgiving finger into the side of his ribs.

 

“Stop being fuckin weird Mox” 

 

“Ow Blitzo” 

 

The scene before him was such an oddly endearing one. Stolas gazed upon the employees of IMP and couldn't help revelling in the overwhelming sense of home and family. This ragtag team of individuals, caring so deeply for one another in their own special ways. It felt like a crime to be standing in it, looming over it, a puzzle piece that does not fit. 

 

Although that thought stung, Stolas was moved by the love he was bearing witness to, a warmth spreading in his chest. Blitzo had so many people around him who cared very deeply for him. It was a comfort to the avian demon. 

“Stol’s? You… alright there? Kinda been staring off into space for a while buddy” 

 

He glanced back down at Blitzo, a small smile tugging at his beak “Very much so” 

 

He was fixed with a long look, a look that was asking Stolas privately if he was sure. To which the avian nodded his head, reaffirming his statement. 

 

The morning flew past in a flurry of excitement that radiated off of Blitzo, he had given Stolas a tour of the space, with a minor detour of about two hours worth of horse talk, accompanied by a detailed telling of all of his collectables. 

 

It was the happiest Stolas had ever seen him, such a stark contrast to most of their meetings prior to the trial. It unhelpfully put his recollections of those nights under the spotlight. How angry and unhappy he had seemed, almost all of the time that he was in Stolas’s close proximity. 

 

And yet now… 

 

Now Blitzo treated Stolas like someone he loved. Someone he cared for. 

 

It was confusing, it hurt. 

 

But he was weak. 

 

Too afraid to lose Blitzo again, to ask him why now? What changed? 

 

He didn't want to ruin the imp's good mood, so he fought against his inner turmoil, willing himself to live in the moment and enjoy the sight of a happy Blitzo. Being here, in the office was a breath of fresh air, made him feel lighter than he had. He willed himself to focus on that instead of the poison his own mind spewed. 

A knock at the door had Blitzo stopping mid sentence, growling at the intrusion “Go the FUCK away, I'm busy!” 

 

Comment ignored, the door swung open. Revealing Millie, leaning against her axe, a smirk dancing across her face. “We got a client Boss” 

 

“You and that twink of a husband you have can handle it” The words came out flippant but Stolas noticed the way he glanced at him. Clearly itching for a kill but worried about leaving him. 

 

“I think you should accompany them” 

 

A disapproving look greeted him. 

 

“Blitzo, Loona is here. I am fine. Please go” he gestured to the door. 

 

Stolas watched as Blitzo sighed, shoulders sagging. He could see the thoughts racing in the imps mind, battling with himself over such an inconsequential decision. The light that made its way through the cracks in the blinds casting a warm glow across the room. Revealing the dust that clung to the air,  moving lazily around Blitzo. He didn't speak for a moment, his eyes travelling up to meet Stolas' own. 

 

He knew realistically that he couldn't stay glued to the bird's side forever, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bad decision to leave, but the Avians eyes were pleading, he was urging him to go, he looked at Blitzo with a desperation, a hunger for the IMP to do something he enjoyed. 

 

Something didn't feel right though, he was stuck on the feeling.

 

It wasn't that he thought Stolas was lying, he actually looked better than he had in days. Ignoring the fact that the bird had practically no meat left on his bones, bags as heavy as a monthly shop hanging under his eyes. 

 

Maybe he needed this, as a way to prove himself to Blitzo, which was fucking stupid if you asked him but maybe it would be okay. So long as someone stayed behind. 

 

“Fineeeee but I mean what I said birdie, me and you have a hot date with the tub later” 

 

He would never get tired of watching his bird blush like a virgin. 

Blitzo had sworn up and down that he was not to leave the office. The inhabitants of hell did not have an outstanding opinion of the bird, after his musical number, claiming to have used Blitzo, to stomp out the flames in the hearts of all lesser demons. 

 

It wasn't safe and it wasn't smart. 

 

Loona groaned from her position at the front desk, swinging back on her chair, legs propped up while she doom scrolled. “Just fucking go already” 

“Love you too Loony-toony” he sang before reaching out to place a kiss on stolas’ hand, freezing immediately after the gesture. As if only now comprehending what he had done. 

 

Stolas expected to see shame swirl in the eyes but instead a deadpan expression rippled across his features. 

 

“Apparently I'm a simp now, get used to it bitch”  and just like that, the portal ripped open and he was gone, glancing back once to take in the sight of his birdie. 

Stolas and Loona sat in relative silence, however a comfortable one. The bird demon had found an old book lying on the floor in Blitzo’s office and decided to give it a go, better to occupy the mind than stew in his own sadness, he supposed. 

 

Loona had not moved from her position. 

There was a calming stillness to the picture, a stillness that did not last. 

 

Loona’s ear pricked up. Hearing something that was out of Stolas’s own capabilities. She growled slowly before slamming her phone down on the desk in front of her and stood abruptly. 

 

Causing the Avian to jump where he sat, book landing on his lap with a soft thwack 

 

“I think another client might be coming up,” Loona grumbled. 

 

A nervousness grew in the pit of Stolas’s stomach. He slowly stood, hoping to excuse himself to the other room, when a fairly tall IMP strolled through the door. Eyes immediately gravitating toward the taller demon. 

 

Mouth hanging open at the sight. 

 

“What the fuck” 

 

The words hung in the air briefly before the imp spoke again, taking a menacing step forward. 

 

“What is a disgraced prince doing here?” He pointed in Stolas direction, head whipping round to look at Loona, whose ears were pinned, a snarl on her lips. 

“None of your fucking business dipshit” 

 

The demon stood still for a moment, as if drinking in the scene before him before bringing a hand up to card through his hair, a crazed laugh escaping his lips. 

 

“I come all this way to put a hit on the fucker and hes stood right here. As if he belongs”

 

The words are fast and harsh, the guy sneers at Stolas, pulling phlegm from the back of his throat and spitting it in his direction. 

 

“Fucking disgusting… and you!” The imp spinning on his heels “are just as bad for harbouring him” 

 

During the imps verbal crusade Loona had also begun to talk, growling out a loud “Hey don't fucking spit at him you imbred piece of shit” 

 

A crescendo of sound reverberated within the room. The desk between the stranger and Loona was shoved out of the way. The hellhound grabbing the demon by the hair, yanking hard enough to pull the strands free. His head in a downward motion met the bone of Loonas knee with a harsh crack . 

 

Knocking the imp out within seconds.

 

She bared her teeth at the now unconscious stranger before flicking her eyes up toward Stolas who had been silent the entire time. 

She kicked the body at her feet “I'm gonna take this sack of shit out the front, stick him in a fucking Bin like he deserves” 

 

Loona bent down, grabbing hold of the guy harshly, flinging his form over her shoulder. 

 

“Fuck him and fuck what he said” 

 

She was out the door before Stolas replied. 

 

His heart was hammering against his ribcage. He was aware that his public image had been desecrated, he knew that public opinion was not something that he had the fortune to change now that he was a banished prince, and he couldn't anyway. This was the story he had told to court to ensure Blitzo’s safety. But to see it first hand, was terrifying. 

 

Stolas gave himself a few moments to breathe, coming down from the unwanted excitement. 

 

His eyes however, landed on a small glow of light, coming from the desk. Loonas phone. 

 

Blitzo had refused to let him look at his own ever since the trial. Probably in an attempt to shield Stolas from the hate he was receiving. 

 

He knew he shouldn't, but he had to know. 

Stolas hesitantly made his way over, unsure if he was about to proceed with this action, he didn't want to invade Loona’s privacy but he also desperately wanted to know what was being said, if there was any news on via. 

 

The phone was unlocked, face up on the desk. As if asking to be read. 

 

It turns out stolas didn't even need to touch the phone to see what the hellhound had been looking at. 

 

A recent article, about the trial, about…. About his Via. 

There they were, printed in black and white ink. What he had feared the most. 

 

Stella had released an official statement, ruling that Stolas was not afforded any visitation rights, at the request of Octavia herself. 

 

Stolas stared at the words, he stared and he stared. Unblinking. 

 

His daughter, his starfire… 

 

Oh what a failure he was, what a selfish, loathsome waste of space. To not even be wanted by his own daughter, to have fucked up so badly in life that his precious starfire would hate him so. 

 

You always knew this would happen 

 

Vicious thoughts attacked him, wrapped him up in barbed wire, binding his body in sharp thorns that pressed into his skin relentlessly. He couldn't breathe, the walls were closing in around him. 

 

His world was crashing down around him. 

 

He had to get out, he had to leave. 

 

He had to drown in his sorrows.

Chapter 6

Notes:

Just as a little TW for anyone reading. This chapter is going to HEAVILY delve into suicidal thoughts and Stolas having the intention of acting upon them. If this is triggering for anyone. I suggest giving it a miss.

Please be safe xx

He didn't care anymore.  

Nothing, not even Blitzo could fix this. Could fix him. 

Whatever hope that had danced to the faint beat of Stolas’s heart was gone. He had failed at the one thing that no one ever should. Made his daughter feel as though he did not love her. To have been so caught up in himself that he had neglected to show her how much he cared . She had been the only source of light in his life for such a long time. For seventeen years. 

 

She had been the only one he had ever truly cared for before Blitzo. The only one to have ever shown him love. 

 

His decision to save Blitzo was not one he regretted. Octavia’s life had not been in danger, Blitzo’s life would have been over had he simply done nothing. 

 

He did not choose him over her. 

 

But why did it feel like it now?

 

In a way he had hoped to have died in that courtroom. To not have to see the fallout of his own actions. So ultimately he had chosen himself. 

 

Octavia was a smart girl, was talented, had so much love to give and so close to being of an age where she did not need to listen or be hopefully influenced by her mother. Stolas knew deep down that she did not need his tainted love to live a full life. 

 

She would be okay, without him. 

 

No, she did not need him. He was done. 

 

His only regret being that he never should have made her feel as though she was not loved. 

It had been a constant battle 

 

To convince himself to be here, in hell. Breathing . For most of his life. 

He didn't much care about that now, he was going to beg, steal or fight for some form of alcohol. Get himself so ridiculously drunk. 

He was standing on a precipice of a cliff, overlooking a black abyss. 

It called to him. Promises whispered gently. 

 

You won't have to feel the pain much longer . The voice cooed. 

 

The alcohol was going to be there to numb him. Because Stolas is a coward , not sure if he would be able to go through with it, if he were to be stone cold sober. 

 

Although his mind, hazy and adrift, he was aware of the fact that Loona would not let him leave. If he was quick enough however, he may be able to slip out another exit. 

 

His body did not feel like his own as he staggered to the door. Catching his thigh harshly on the already disturbed desk. 

How long had it been since she had left? Did he have enough time?

 

Would she track him? 

As these thoughts raged in his mind, he had managed to bumble his way down the hallway. Into an area of the building that none of IMP had probably even been too. 

He was running now, his awkwardly long limbs taking him faster than he had ever moved without the assistance of his demon form. Panic tunnelled his vision. Harsh breath ripping from the back of his throat. He stumbled and tripped over himself in a desperate attempt to get away. 

He needed to get OUT. 

In his sheer desperation he hadn't noticed another member of the rented office space walking towards a room that had music blasting from bass boosted speakers. A pink succubus holding a tray full of drinks. His body unceremoniously barged into her in his desperation to leave, unaware of his surroundings. The drinks went flying, dousing the bird in a strong scent of burning alcohol. 

 

“ FUCK, watch where your going you fucking DI…. Stolas?” 

 

He didn't have time for this. 

He pulled himself from the ground, clothes sticking to his feathers. He didn't stop to see who it was, why they knew his name, or to apologise for barrelling into them. A full bottle of something rolled out from under him as he stood. He snatched the item from the ground and forced himself to move. 

 

“W-wait!” 

Veroskia, still reeling from being sent careening to the floor. Attempted to pull herself upright. Calling out to the fleeing ex-prince. 

 

She had assumed Blitzo had been looking after him since the trial, and having met Stolas she had understood the real meaning behind what the Goetia had said during that awful broadcast. 

 

What she didn't understand was why the Avian Demon had been sprinting as though the literal Devil was on his tail….Again. 

 

What she could recognise was that he had fled quickly, clearly upset. Booze in tow. 

 

Whatever this was… was not good. 

 

She knew he was much quicker than her and she had no way of tracking him. So she dusted herself off and ran in the direction of IMP. Blitzo had a hellhound for a daughter right? 

 

She could find him.

Loona really needed to get back upstairs. After discarding the unconscious body in one of the large industrial dumpsters just outside of the office building, she had been met with an amused but confused look from none other than Tex. Leaning next to double doors, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. 

 

“I would say that you don't see that everyday buuut it is hell” came his honey enriched voice. 

 

“What are you doing girl?” he chuckled, eyebrow raised. 

Heat rose to Loona's face, her arms coming up to her midsection awkwardly. 

 

“Heh.. Tex, didn't see ya there. Just… taking out the trash” nervous energy bubbled in her abdomen. She knew Tex was taken, by Beelzebub no less. That unfortunately didn't mean her stupid fucking crush would just disappear . 

 

A frustrated growl rumbled quietly from the back of her throat. 

 

Tex held his hands up in a placating manner “Woah easy, was just curious” 

 

Fuuuuuck why did she suck at social interaction?

 

It didn't matter right now, Stolas shouldn't be alone for too long.

“No, sorry I’m just a little distracted. Look, I gotta go. We can catch up another time?” 

Tex smiled, taking a drag from his cigarette. Combining a hand through his head fur. 

 

“Of course, hit me up sometime. Bea was wondering where you was the other night” 

 

She smiled awkwardly, a sigh leaving her “Yeah it's just been… a lot” 

 

The tone of the conversation shifted almost instantly, when the words were out. Tex’s smile fell, ears drooping slightly. 

 

“Right yeah… rough few days huh?” 

 

“Understatement of the fucking century” 

Loona hadn't run back to the office space but she had moved quicker than she usually tended to. Stolas had been doing better the last few days; she couldn't imagine him actually leaving IMP … but just in case. She moved a little quicker. 

 

When the faint scent of Stolas began to dissipate however, burning hot panic shot through her veins. 

 

There was no way… please fuck let her be wrong. 

 

Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach. Bursting through the door, to find Verosika Mayday of all fucking people, standing in the space. Looking anxious. 

 

The succubus jumped slightly at the hellhound's abrupt entrance, eyes tracking Loona’s movement as she came further into the room, eyes zipping across the space in a frantic motion. 

“Where in the ever loving FUCK is he… shit shit shit ” 

Verosika motioned to her soaked top “He literally fell right into me about five minutes ago, he was making a mad dash out the door. Looked pretty fucked up about something” 

 

Loona growled in irritation and rising fear. She should not have fucking left that dumb fucking bird on his own. 

 

Before she had a chance to say or do anything else, her eyes landed on her phone, which was now on the floor by the slightly askew desk. She knew for a fact that it had not been there when she had left. 

 

Walking over, she swiped the object from its place, unlocking the phone. Her eyes landed on the news article she had been reading. 

Her lungs seized behind her ribcage, the icy cold fingers of dread and regret clawed at them. Stolas must have seen it. He must have seen it and now he was gone and for some fucking reason she couldn't smell him anywhere . Just an overwhelming stench of alcohol and smoke. 

 

She had to phone Blitzo. They had to find him. 

“Hold up M&M Loony is calling” Blitzo fished his phone out of his pocket, lowering his gun. 

“Whats up sweet-”

 

“Stolas is fucking gone”  

 

He was… what? Gone? Gone fucking where?

 

“Loony wha-? What do you mean gone?” 

 

The words tumbling from the taller imps lips had Moxie and Millie turning from their crouched position behind some shrubbery. Concern etched across their faces. 

 

“Sir? What's going on?” 

 

“I don't know where he is! Some fucking asshole came up here. R-recognised him and started spewing all this crap. I fucked the guy up and took him out the front.. To get him away from Stolas but when I came back up. He was fucking gone, all because he saw that fucking news article. FUCK.”  Loona was shouting down the phone. Blitzo could faintly hear her pacing.

“I’m.. I'm so sorry dad. I shouldn't have…” 

 

The dejected sound of his daughter's voice filtered in through the anxiety that was coursing through every inch of him. Stolas was missing, his daughter sounded afraid. His peace shattered, littering the floor around him in serrated blades that poked at his skin, drawing blood that threatened to drown him. 

 

Stolas had seen the article. The one they had all seen. 

 

The bird was not in the correct mindset to have seen that information. You couldn't trust a damn thing that came out of that cunts mouth and yet… of course Stolas would believe it. 

 

He was already swimming in a sea of doubt and self hatred, conditioned to listen to the lies that bitch told. 

 

On top of all of that he now has a daughter who probably thinks that he's going to blame her. Can hear it in her voice. The uncertainty of her tone. The tremble bracketing the words. 

 

“ Fuck… okay okay, we are coming back now. Just… sweetie you were trying to look after him by taking that fucko away from him. Alright?” 

 

“... just get back here” came her muted response. 

 

The line went dead. 

 

“Blitzo? What's happening?” Millie asked, placing one hand on his shoulder. The other on his hands, that he hadn't realised were shaking. 

 

His chest hurt, the feeling of his lungs constricting, fear curling around his organs like a boa constrictor, squeezing the life from its prey. 

 

“Stol.. Stolas is…” he couldn't get the words out, his free hand grabbing a fistful of his jacket, right over his heart. 

 

“Okay Blitzo, you need to take a breath for me. Come on big guy you got this” 

 

Millie guided the both of them to the floor, gently taking his hand and placing it on her chest, telling Blitzo to match the rhythm of her own breathing. 

They didn't have time for this. 

Pull it together . 

 

A few moments later, all three of the Imps were huddled together, Moxxie having come over, putting pressure on both of Blitzo shoulders to ground him, something that Millie had done for him in the past when overwhelmed. 

“Okay, alright now, let's go back to IMP, Loona can fill us in okay?”

 

Blitzo nodded, dragging his hands down his face, to wipe away the evidence of his breakdown. 

 

The portal ripped open. His eyes landing on Loona and Veroskia? 

 

Determination settled over his aching bones. He refused any outcome that wasn't Stolas in his arms, alive. 

I will find you pretty bird, you’ll be okay. 

Chapter 7

Notes:

Another TW for this chapter. If anything involving SA is triggering for anyone please proceed with caution. I don't go into any kind of graphic detail but it is heavily implied what is going on...

I'm not comfortable with writing anything too graphic when it comes to this kind of stuff but there is enough there for it to be potentially triggering.

The buzz of alcohol slipped into his veins. It had only taken a moment to down the entire thing. A learned skill from his many drunken stupors that he had had over the years, when Octavia was asleep and he was sure she would not see.

 

The sensation welcomed him like an old friend, brain foggy from the intake. 

 

The burn at the back of his throat is so familiar, in a way it shouldn't be. 

 

Stolas could feel the aborted movements of his limbs, everything feeling as though it was lagging minutes behind. Without his Goetic magic dampening the poison that coursed through him, he had reached the point of absolutely shitfaced a lot quicker and with a lot less consumption. 

 

Instead of feeling nothing Stolas felt anger boil below the surface, an emotion that he had not felt this intensely for some time. His eyes fighting desperately to track the environment around him. Through the fog of intoxication he could see that he was currently in a back alley, the place littered with discarded and torn open rubbish, needles and beer cans scattered across the floor coupled with copious amounts of bile and other bodily fluids. The bird shuddered at the sight, his own nausea spiking. But he continued on. 

The liquid that stuck to his clothes, matting his feathers, grew sticky and stale. Causing the tug of Loona’s jumper to pinch and pull at him uncomfortably, causing his frustration to rise. 

 

Did he truly deserve all of this? All of the shit he had put up with over the years? 

 

All he had ever wanted was someone to hold him, be with him. Never make him feel so… 

 

An ungraceful squawk ripped from his beak, hand reeling back slightly before lobbing the now empty bottle at the nearest wall, the glass shattering on impact. Showering stolas in the shrapnel of his explosive action. Sharp edges coated in the remains of absinthe glided across his faceplate and exposed arms, slicing thin cuts through flesh. Burning on impact. 

 

They oozed lazily, tracking lines of black blood through his dishevelled feathers. 

 

The commotion began to draw the attention of those on the street, the soft crunch of shoes on gravel catching his attention, Stolas’s head whipped around at the sudden intrusion. 

When his eyes landed on two hellborn. A spiteful smile cracked across his face, grin wide and unhinged. Perfect. 

 

“Ah come to see the show?” He drawled,  head tilting to the side as he turned the rest of his body to face them. The ex-prince was slightly bent over, arms dangling limply at his sides. He blinked slowly at them, trying to focus his vision before forcing his uncooperative body to move, raising a hand, gesturing for the Imps to come closer.  

 

He couldn't quite see them. Absently wondering if there were really only two of them and not four, blurry and unwilling to focus on the figures in front of him. 

 

It didn't matter. 

 

The imp closest to Stolas sneered, his teeth baring. “You fancy blue blood are all the fucking same. Where do you get off treating us like we’re insignificant!?” The harsh words reverberated around the alleyway. Stolad flinched, taking a step back. His eyes falling from the imps to the floor, mind racing. Pupils blown wide. 

 

Impish little plaything… 

 

Little itty-bitty imp… 

 

The words he had uttered those many moons ago clawing themselves up from the back of his rotting mind. 

 

He was no better than the rest of the Goetia, just a rich, spoiled, blue blood. 

 

Who had no idea how the real world worked. 

“Got nothing to say princy!?” came a female voice from somewhere behind the other imp. A scalding cup of something crashed into the side of his face, setting his nerve ending alight with the sensation came a new sense of purpose igniting in his bones, Stolas took a step toward the group, clapping his hands together slowly, in what he hoped was a mocking gesture. 

“Wow… what a terrifying display, I must say I am so impressed by how brave you all are. Coming after a Goetia now that his powers are gone. So…. heroic” 

 

He was goading them, fueling the flame. His movements were sloppy and weighed down by the alcohol but he forced himself to stand tall, prideful. 

 

Let him play the role of the villain just one last time. Give them the satisfaction of being right. 

You pompous rich asshole! 

 

Treat me like one of your butler imps! 

“They should have executed you! You think you're better than us. Well you're not!” screeched the female imp, stalking towards Stolas, eyes wild and full of hatred. Her hand raised as she slapped him clean across the face, the force of it sending him tumbling back. Leaving a stinging sensation in its wake. 

 

The hellborn bent down, towering over him, long curved horns scraping the floor slightly. 

 

“You. Are. A. pathetic. waste . of. Space” each word punctured by another punch, slap or kick. Ending with her straddling Stolas’s waist, pinning the bird to the floor. Her claws digging into the side of his face. 

 

What a pathetic excuse of a man…

 

“You have no idea The kind of lives we imps have to live to get by!” her words were punctured by stuttering gasps, tears falling freely from her glossy eyes. 

 

A cruel smile creeping its way onto her face through the raw emotion “Well now I get to do what I want and what I want is to give you what you fucking deserve” 

 

In another life, in a different time, perhaps the imp towering over him now would have been Blitzo, so full of rage and hurt. If they had never met, If stolas had fallen from his station regardless. 

 

He could only imagine that this is how all of imp kind felt. 

“Woah Ava save some for me” a sultry voice floated over the top of her shoulder. 

 

Stolas for the most part had not moved, the onslaught of physical violence flooring him into submission, the familiar fear seeping into his bones, paralyzing him. The entire bottle of absinthe taking its hold, the world was spinning around him. Tipping him over the edge, unable to focus on anything. 

For a brief moment the weight around his midsection was gone, only to be replaced by a heavier mass. The male Imp leering over him, drool dangling from his curled lips. 

 

“The things I can do to you now… The way you took advantage of that poor Imp. Ill make you regret ever laying a feathered fucking hand on any imp” 

 

Strong unwavering hands wrapped themselves around Stolas’s thin neck. A low pressure beginning to tighten. Causing the avian to wheeze in a desperate attempt to take in a breath. 

 

“I’ll give you one grace, you sure are pretty” The imps tongue lashed in his mouth with unbridled desire. Tail snaking up Stolas’s thigh, a sensation familiar to him, a gesture Blitzo had done, so many times before this moment. This however felt so unbearably wrong. 

 

Stolas could just about make out the look of uncertainty marring the face of his previous assailant. He tracked the motion of her hand as it landed on the Imp above him. 

 

“We were just gonna rough him up a bit, yeah? This is too fucking far Jase!” 

 

“Shut up you fucking whore, if you don't like it get the fuck out of here, I'm owed this ”

The brutish imp shoved her hand from his shoulder, pushing her back in the process. 

 

The bird beneath him shook violently, eyes as wide as saucers but unable to focus on anything around him.  He was mumbling something, clearly fucking paralytic if the acrid stench of alcohol coming off of him was anything to go by. 

 

“Got nothing smart to say now? Hmm?” Jase pushed his body weight further into Stolas, one hand coming away from his neck and harshly yanking at the front of the Avain's shorts, hungry eyes drinking in the dissociated demon beneath him. 

 

“Not even gonna fight back? You stupid bitch?” his tail whipping wildly in the air behind him before beginning its journey back up Stolas’s thigh, pushing past the items of clothing. 

 

“Who has the power now!?” The imp tightened the hand that remained around Stolas’s neck. The other venturing to a place only Blitzo was allowed to go to. 

The pressure was intense, the foreign intrusion scraping and pressing so painfully . He wanted it to stop. Whatever it was that was happening make it stop. 

The world around Stolas morphed and melted away into a scene that he was familiar with. Andrealphus above him. Wicked smile adorning his features.

 

“Come now Stolas, anyone with eyes can see that you long for a man. This will help you imagine what that feels like when you have to produce an heir with my sister. I'm helping you” 

 

Why did it always lead to this? 

 

The offending hands continued to take what they wanted from Stolas, vision darkening as his windpipe continued to be crushed. 

 

It will be over soon, just like you wanted… 

“Get your fucking filthy shit stained hand off of him you disgusting trash fire ” 

The mass above him jerked, a splatter of something coating Stolas’s face and chest, red and sticky. He felt the body tilt to the side, going limp. The sound of the shot not even registering in the bird demon's ears. 

 

The shadow of another imp flew over the top of Stolas, landing on top of the body laying next to him unresponsive. 

 

“You sick fucking… Piece of shit” Guttural shouting filling the space around them. Claws digging into flesh, teeth gnashing “ Y-you disgusting cunt”. 

Uncontrollable rage filled every inch of Blitzo’s body when the group rounded the corner, Loona able to smell Stolas’s blood through the overpowering stench of alcohol. 

 

Two Imps were crowded round a body on the floor, one off to the side, looking uneasy but doing nothing to stop what was going on in front of her. 

 

The other Imp was stradling Stolas, one hand around his neck… the other… 

 

How fucking dare he 

The next few moments were a blur. Before Blitzo had a chance to catch up with himself he was hunched over the desecrated carcass of the Imp. Covered in viscera and blood. 

 

“He’s dead Blitzo, come on.. Let go. Stolas needs you” Moxie whispered the words gently to Blitzo, prying his blood soaked hands away from imp that lay motionless under him. 

 

His eyes glanced to the left of him, Millie sitting next to the ex-prince, unsure on whether to touch him or not. 

 

“Stols” 

 

“I-I’m here… okay it… its over” 

Notes:

To everyone who has read, left Kudos or comments, thank you so much XD

Chapter 8

Notes:

Although it seems like things will continue to get worse for Stolas I would like to say that I want to give him some of his sassy character back, as well as being able to stand on his own! But recovering from trauma is not a straight and narrow path, we will see development from him, his strength and willpower will return… he’s just not necessarily in the right place as of right now (in the fic)
A determination to fight back is inbound and of course a very needed conversation needs to happen between Blitzo and Stolas.
I am an absolute suckerrrrrr for angst but I will also be trying to implement a bigger story and to see different sides of these characters and the relationship between them.
….Sassy birb will be back XD

Why did everything keep getting worse? The last week of their lives had done a spectacular job of pulling every bad thing to the surface. The only positive being the reputation this shit show gave IMP, but even that success was tainted, stained in the blood of Stolas’s wrecked life.  

 

Never had he assumed that he would be looking at his own luck changing finally after so long and be disgusted by the outcome. 

 

The man he loved, the man he had only dared to love openly mere days ago, was a shell of himself. The sass, the dramatics, the chatter that usually radiated off of the bird, was gone and Blitzo was worried it would never come back. He knew Stolas was strong, and had been strong for his entire life, even if the bird himself was unaware of the fact. 

 

But there's only so much someone can take, Blitzo knows that intimately. 

 

It felt like there was nothing he could do, Stolas had shattered into a million different pieces and Blitzo was fumbling around in the dark trying to find them all. With no blueprints on how to put him back together again. 

 

He had tried to shelter Stolas from the knowledge of the outside world in order to protect him, only for the bird to find out anyway and instead of being in a controlled environment where they could have talked about it… 

 

Well isn't that just the crux of the issue.. they didn't do words, they did sex.

Instead, Stolas had freaked. Had gotten so drunk that he ended up defenceless against creatures he could have eviscerated without so much as a single movement before everything went to shit. 

 

He could get hurt. 

Blitzo’s eyes tracked the descent of the water, as it filled the tub slowly with lukewarm water. His own tears streaming down his face. To have selfishly believed that maybe they would be okay, that nothing worse could have possibly happened. 

He could vaguely hear Millie's voice coming from somewhere next to the couch. Her voice soft and so full of love and care, a tone she reserved mainly for Moxie. Today she afforded that kindness to Stolas. Who had said nothing since removing him from that fucking alleyway. 

 

A scene so familiar to the day of the trial.

 

They had got Stolas back. But everything is worse now. 

 

Blitzo yearned for the days when he had known only enough about the bird that he could detach himself from him, could roll his eyes at the outright demented things that would fall from his beak, would parade his feathered ass around in that stupid red robe of his. Back when things weren’t so fucking personal… 

 

Because Blitzo is a shitty person, and he’s selfish as fuck. 

He had known somewhere deep down, even after spewing his guts all over the palace floor. 

 

You pompous rich asshole. 

 

He had known even then that Stolas had not lived a life of luxury where it counted most of all, had been neglected emotionally, had been fucking abused by that fucking whore of an ex-wife. 

 

And yet, he had not wanted to actually acknowledge that, it was easier to fall back into his own pile of shit. To drown in his own misery and insecurity to care. 

But he cared now, he cares so much that it fucking hurts. 

“Okay sweetie, you hear that? Sounds like that bath is just about ready for ya. Blitzo will help get you cleaned up okay?” Millie's voice was back, floating softly in the otherwise silent and undisturbed air. 

Her voice a reminder for Blitzo to turn the faucet off before he drowned everyone around him. 

 

The shadow of two figures appeared in the doorway. Blitzo hesitantly turned to face them. Stolas was still ridiculously drunk, faceplate sticky with now cold coffee and dried blood from where the imps had mangled his features. His pupils pinpricks in his skull, unfocused and staring at something that only Stolas could see. 

 

Blitzo cringed at the sight of him, clothes torn and manhandled. Blood dripping from various abrasions. 

 

The imp was still half expecting to watch his skin knit itself back together again, like it had so many times before but they didn't, and they wouldn't. Not for a long time. 

So here they were again, Blitzo standing on the side of the tub, eyes glued to Stolas’s shivering form, only this time he’s head buried deep into his knees, arms wound so tightly around himself that he's worried the bones will snap. The air is thick and oppressive.

 

The process of undressing Stolas was probably something that will haunt Blitzo for the foreseeable future. He had been so pliant under his touch. Had not reacted at all. Blitzo had asked him for permission before laying a single finger on him, when he had asked and had gotten no response, Blitzo thought that perhaps he could give Stolas some sense of privacy by offering to wait just outside with the door slightly ajar. When he had begun to do just that a slender hand had reached out and grabbed onto his jacket sleeve. 

 

A silent plea to not be left alone. 

So Blitzo had stayed, had helped to undress him and get him situated into the tub, and it is something that he will never forget, but Christ on a stick did he wish he could . 

 

He knew what had happened, what that imp had forced upon him but he had no idea how to go about treating the injuries that were there. Couldn't bring himself to broach the subject at all. 

 

He knew he would have to. Blitzo didn't know the full extent, had the imp done anything else? He knew that he needed to be examined by someone. But this was so far out of Blitzo’s emotional depth. He could feel himself defaulting to anger. 

 

But this wasn't something he could shoot. He’d already done that to the fucking cunt responsible and that had ultimately done nothing. 

They both didn't speak. Blitzo’s hands worked to clean the dirt, the coffee, the fucking blood off of the bird. The water that surrounded Stolas began to darken, the grime gathering around his thighs and back. It looked as though the remanence of Stolas's obliterated soul was leaking out of him. Blitzo's frown deepened. 

Some time had passed since Stolas had been in the bath, Loona had insisted they situate him in her room on a bed that would be better suited for him. Blitzo didn't argue, he was grateful that she had been willing to let him into her space. 

 

“Thank you sweetie” 

 

Loona had scoffed, ringing her hands together “Yeah.. Well, it's whatever. Don't make it fucking weird” But then her eyes had landed on Stolas’s form before skittering off the side, deflating even more than she already was. 

 

“I set up the galaxy light in there, he liked it. Last time” 

 

And then she proceeded to disappear into the kitchen with a cigarette in hand, effectively ending the conversation. 

Blitzo had put stolas into the bed and made sure that the door was open enough for everyone in his shitty apartment to see him. The key for the lock had been taken by Loona when she had set the bedroom up for him. 

Now Blitzo's eyes were trained to his phone, Fizz’s contact information staring back at him. 

 

“You should call him sir, maybe Asmodeus can help? I mean I know he isn't a doctor but he has connections. Maybe he’d be willing to help. He did try to vouch for you during the trial” 

 

Moxie was standing just behind Blitzo, gazing down at the phone. He was tentatively holding his hand out, as if thinking about laying it comfortingly on Blitzo’s shoulder but was unsure if he should actually do so. 

 

“Christ on a stick when did everything get so fucking fucked!” The words were harsh but Blitzo was able to collar his frustration enough to have them come out in an angry whisper. The pressure of his grip on the phone causing the device to splinter at the corner of the screen. He took a breath and tried to relax his hold, knowing that breaking the phone would prevent him from contacting anyone that could potentially help his tight red ass out. 

“I need some fucking air. I’ll call Fizz. Just… watch him, please for the love of fuck, do not let him out of your sight” 

“You got it boss” 

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed XD

Chapter 9

Notes:

I’m back 🎉

Had a busy few days but it’s incredibly slow at work today so I filled my time doing some writing 😂

If you enjoy this fic I have a one shot posted now ✨ please go and have a read if your looking for some fluff and mild angst

“Hey Stol’s” a soft knock reverberated against the open door. The Imp moving into the space hesitantly, his eyes tracking the motionless body of Stolas. Who was slumped against the blankets, facing the wall. 

 

Blitzo’s tail swayed behind him anxiously, a deep frown pulling at his lips. He could see loose feathers littering the space around them. The quills bent and broken. 

 

Everything in this moment, frightfully still. 

 

“I’m so tired of being so weak ” 

 

The words were quiet, bitterness and sorrow lacing Stolas’s tone. His throat was raw, scratchy and rough. The feathers around his neck had been crushed, Blitzo had made a pointed attempt to not look at them because the anger at the pit of his stomach would start to rise at the sight of it. 

 

In all honesty the imp had not expected Stolas to speak, the words drifted around him, causing his brows to furrow. He stood in the middle of the room, unsure if the Avain wanted him any closer. His hand reaching out slightly, instinctively. 

“ Nothing about this makes you weak Stolas” Blitzo spoke with a certainty that he hoped got through to the man laying deathly still on the bed. 

Stolas could feel the imps eyes burning into him from somewhere in the room. Could feel the space between them and wanted him so desperately to come closer. Too afraid to voice it. 

“I can’t seem to pull it together for enough time to do anything” anger was beginning to seep into his words now, encasing him in a desperate heat. Talons gripping at the blanket below him. 

 

He could hear Blitzo shuffling around behind him. When the imp spoke again he was closer than before. 

 

“Stolas it’s been a week , that’s barely any time to process anything a-and today…. You’ve gotta give yourself a break here pretty bird” 

The Avain flinched at the prospect of today, what had happened. The worst thing about it all was that he didn’t even remember what had happened, too drunk, too dissociated? Perhaps both. 

 

He could feel the pain of it though, the wrongness. 

 

“Sex is the only thing anyone ever actually wants from me” 

 

The air in the room grew stagnant, Blitzo cringed. 

 

We do sex 

 

Stolas’s voice grew louder, fighting against the soreness of his throat to be heard, talons digging deeper into the blanket below. 

 

“My father wanted me to produce an heir, I was 18 and I was terrified… I wasn’t ready”  

 

Stolas curled in on himself further, harsh breathing puncturing his words “and then Andrealphus, I-I didn’t want him to, I didn’t” 

 

And just like that, even more of Blitzo’s world crumbled around him, Things starting to click into place for the imp, the way in which Stolas conducted himself when they met again as adults, the hyper libido, the offer of sex in order to spend time with Blitzo because it was the only way he knew how to make people happy. It made him feel sick, knowing that it was the only way Stolas knew how to give anything of ‘value’  but despite the nausea rising at the back of his throat he inched himself closer to the bed, jumping when Stolas abruptly sat up, eyes unfocused in the dim light, frame shaking as he covered his face with his hands, pulling at the feathers. 

 

“ Why, why does this keep happening”  they came out strangled in desperation 

 

And then a whispered “I’m so sick of it all” hung in the air. 

 

Blitzo could feel himself being pulled into Stolas’s orbit, needing to be closer, to hold him. He sat down on the side of the bed, a red hand resting on the birds arm, gently pulling at them to prompt Stolas into easing up on the grip he had on his face. Careful not to jostle his injuries. 

 

“I feel so… so angry. Even when I had a surplus of power I never fought back because I was fucking scared. Scared of my father, of losing via.. of.. a-and none of it matters anymore because Via is gone and I don’t have anything left to give Blitzo” 

“Stolas what that imp did to you, what your father did. Fuck what Andrealphus did, That shits fucked up, it matters. It matters because no one ever has the right to you or your body. I-I don’t know the details of what happened with Andrealphus but I swear to Lucifer I will find a way to put a bullet between that oversized peacocks brain. It matters because you fucking matter Stolas. To me, to Loony, moxxie and Millie and I know that… maybe it doesn’t feel like it now but you matter so much to your daughter. She’s confused and hurt. She’s with that fucking stretched asshole but… that’s why you need to stick around Stol’s show her that you’ll fight for her. Stay because she needs you. And I… I need you Stolas” 

 

Stolas was looking down at the covers below him, tears leaking from his eyes at a constant pace. He watched as they dripped, landing on the blanket, the fabric darkening as it became damp. He could see Blitzo in his peripheral, their fingers intertwined now.  

 

No one had ever validated Stolas, in his feelings. No one had ever told him that he mattered before. 

 

He wasn’t sure if he could believe it but… Lucifer did he need it. He needed the comfort, the soft words, the affirmations. He needed it more than he needed oxygen. 

 

He hungered for it.  

 

He was ravenous . 

 

“I need you too. It scares me so much how much I need you right now. It’s unfair to lean on you like this”  he watched as more tears gathered on the blanket below. 

 

“Stolas, look at me” 

 

He felt tender fingertips brush the side of his face. Pulling his gaze towards the imp. 

 

“I am probably the worst person to have for emotional support but I’m here, it took me so long to admit how I felt about you because I never thought I was capable of loving someone like that. Because loving someone meant being vulnerable but when I was faced with the possibility of losing you? At crunch time? The thought terrified me, because I knew I couldn’t live without you. I don’t think now is the right time but I’ll be waiting for you pretty bird” 

 

The words were left in the open briefly, allowing stolas to digest them. 

 

“I’m sorry I was so shitty to you before, it was the only way I knew how to react to what I was feeling because I’m emotionally fucking  constipated” 

 

Did Blitzo just say that he loved me? 

“You.. you love me?” 

 

“Always” 

 

Slender hands wrapped themselves around Blitzo, pulling him flush against the avian, his hold tight, so desperate and pleading. 

 

“I have loved you, for so long that I was scared I was never going to be able to stop but now I, I don’t have to” came the watery response, Stolas voice muffled by Blitzo’s shoulder. 

 

“I’m…. I’m a mess. I don’t know if I have the mental strength to be a compítant partner right now.” 

 

Blitzo could hear the hesitation in his voice, Stolas’s body shaking in his hold 

 

“When I left Imp today…  I was so distraught that I….” 

 

“You were planning on killing yourself, weren't you?” The words spoken out loud made them so real, palpable. 

“ Yes”  

 

Even though Stolas was in his arms now, solid, real and alive a shooting pain flared through his entire being, the thought of a different outcome hanging over him like a guillotine waiting to bare down on his exposed neck. 

 

“You know that Stella probably fabricated what Octavia said in that  news article right?” He asked, absently smoothing down the ruffled feathers on Stolas head, which was now resting listlessly on his shoulder, unable to bear the weight of himself anymore. 

 

“Perhaps… now that I have a clearer head” 

 

“We’ll take it one day at a time pretty bird…. And speaking of taking things one step at a time. I called fizz earlier to see if Asmodeus would be willing to help us and if… look, I think that it’s important that someone examines you Stol’s… to make sure that imp didn’t… fuck” 

 

He could feel Stolas tensing in his arms, knees drawing up slightly. 

 

“Will you stay with me, when… when someone comes to do it?” 

 

Blitzo carded his fingers through Stolas’s feathers again, repeating the motion in a soothing gesture. 

 

“Of course” 

 

Notes:

Thank you as always for reading ☺️

Chapter 10

Notes:

Hello XD I hope everyone is enjoying their lead up to Christmas. Can I just say that I have been blown away by the last four episodes of Helluva Boss!?!?!

I honestly feel like I am just watching animated fanfiction and I love it.

This chapter is pretty short but I have been working on this fic and another fic that I am also going to post today I think. This will probably be the last time I update until after Christmas because I am so busy.

I feel like this chapter is just an extension of the conversation that was happening between Blitzo and Stolas in the last chapter. Next chapter though, we will be seeing Fizz and Ozzie.

“When I was small, I had this dream. I think maybe, I have always been someone who is bound to flights of fancy. I spent a lot of time alone, you see. Wandering the palace halls. The library was my favourite, it was a place where I could live inside worlds that others had created, live a life that was not my own. For a little while. I read about families, about people who loved each other and I wondered if it was ever in the books for me. Someone I could share a life with. My father burst that bubble rather spectacularly on my birthday, he had my entire life in the palm of his hand, my purpose, my lover and everything in between. I still don't know how he did it, being so entangled in my life without even being present in it, but anyway, my dream was to create my own adventure, my own pathway. Instead I was engaged from the age of 12 and married the day I turned eighteen, with the expectation to bed Stella that night to produce an heir” 

The room around the two was quiet, save for the almost whispered words coming from Stolas. Blitzo had laid down beside the bird, curled into his chest. The low rumble of Blitzo’s purring vibrated the bed minutely. This was the most Stolas had said in however many days of this new reality they had been living in. 

 

Blitzo had asked, albeit hesitantly if perhaps talking about some of the trauma the bird had would help to encourage some type of healing and some understanding on the Imps end. They had agreed to share some things from their pasts to get some perspective on each other. The thought of Blitzo himself sharing anything at all was not an appealing one. 

 

He was going to do it anyway. 

 

But right now, Stolas was the one speaking, arms wound gently around the Imp who was curled up around the bird's waist, head nuzzling into the expanse of his chest. 

 

“Isn't it such a sad thing… to lose your childlike ignorance? I have always been passive in nature, I don’t much care for conflict. The stars and my plants were enough to enrapture my attention as a child. They filled the gaps left behind by my Father, and by the loss of a mother I never knew. Although.. I don’t think it filled the holes at all really, instead those pits of longing turned into an overflow of self centered pity, isolated from reality. I never realised quite how sheltered… that is to say, I never realised how privileged I was, how ignorant I would grow up to become to the struggles of absolutely anyone else” The owl tightened his hold on Blitzos waist. 

 

“For that, I am sorry” 

 

A soft sigh followed the words, the Imp gazing up at Stolas, craning his neck, due to the angle at which he was positioned. 

 

“Stolas, I won't lie to you. I really struggled to get past the fact that you were demon royalty. To have grown up with money, stability and all the other perks that come with being a fancy fuck but… I have come to realise that money and position does not mean that it automatically equals happiness and fulfilment. Someone's life can be just as shitty as your own, maybe in a different way, but everyone has their own shit ya know? No one goes through life unscathed, which if you ask me is a complete pisstake but what can ya do. I found it hard to see how you could possibly be unhappy. I never went any fucker deeper to see that in reality you had no fucking freedom Stol’s, instead you had expectation and any and all choice taken from you. That's fucked up.” 

 

Blitzo nuzzled closer to Stolas, breathing in the scent of brimstone and lavender. 

 

“I think it’s so easy to hate or envy other people when you see no way out of your own fucked up situation, it brings some form of I dunno satisfaction? I guess to judge someone and make your own assumptions. Everyone stews in their own mental shit and then what happens? We get fucking bitter. At least that's what it felt like for me. Easier to be someone everyone hates, so that you don't feel the lose when you ultimately fuck up and they leave you. But I'm trying to change that Stol’s.. For you, for M&M, Loony and you know what pretty bird? For myself too” 

 

The Imp watched as Stolas' eyes tracked the swirl of the galaxy above them. The conversation was a heavy one… but it felt strangely calm. Like nothing outside of this room existed. A temporary, extremely fragile moment in time, that was meant for only them. 

A small smile graced Stolas’s features “I am glad you are starting to see your own worth Blitzo” 

 

“Yeah well… I erh have another question, something that has always kind of bugged me. You don't have to answer if you don’t want to though” 

 

The bird ran a hand down the Imps horn, a quiet hum permeating the air, a noise of encouragement to ask. 

 

“I know that… Stella emotionally abused you and that you both had to sleep together. Something that I guess neither of you had a choice in but did she, did she ever hit you?” 

 

The motion of Stolas’s talons stilled at the base of his horn, gripping lightly. 

 

“Stella always had so much anger I always believed that it was due to being forced into the situation we found ourselves in. I think that ultimately that is why but I also believe that hatred mutated into something far uglier. It made a monster out of us both it seems. She was too consumed by bitterness and I became effectively a doormat for years, trying to play happy family when I realise now that staying in a loveless marriage did not make things better for Octavia at all. In fact it made it worse. Stella she… she was a violent woman. I found myself on the other end of that fury countless times, luckily never in front of Via. I can also say with certainty that she never laid a finger on her and had enough decency to keep the physical torment behind closed doors” 

 

What a horrible sentence, Blitzo thought. ‘Had enough decency to keep the physical torment behind closed doors’ how utterly vile. 

“You do realise how fucked up that is right? It's almost as if you're giving her some form of credit. She should never have hit you in the first place.” 

 

“Traumatised people can sometimes never leave the cycle of abuse, sometimes becoming abusers themselves” Stolas whispered. Which pulled a scoff from the back of the Imps throat. 

 

“Right so, that excuses any and all accountability for abusing someone huh? I don’t think so. I can admit that trauma is fucking complex as all hell and can come out in the way people react to things but that doesn't give anyone the right to do something like that. You shouldn't be validating her actions” 

 

A silence hung between them for a few moments, their eyes following the journey of the purple and blue lights that danced across the ceiling. Blitzo allowed his words to sit there, so that Stolas could digest them at his own pace. 

 

“I know.. That what she did was wrong. I hate her for making my life miserable for such a long time but I can't help but feel guilty for the situation she was in because I knew how it felt” 

 

“Does she know about…” 

 

“Andrealphus? No. The few times that it happened were before we were married. He is.. A few years older, he coerced me into things that I didn't want, it worked because I was young and I was frightened. I allowed it to happen because I didn't see any other option. I don’t… wish to go into any further detail about that particular thing though.. If you wouldn't mind” 

 

Blitzo nodded against the soft plumage ticking his face “Of course pretty bird”. 

 

Some more time passed, no words being spoken, the Imp could feel the grip on his horn release, the slender hand falling with a soft thud on the mattress, his eyes ventured up to Stolas’s features, his eyelids fighting to stay open. A true exhaustion pulled at every inch of his expression. 

 

“Why don't we stop for tonight, get some sleep. Ozzie and Fizz will be round tomorrow” 

 

No sooner than the last word left his lips, was Stolas asleep. 

 

Blitzo laid their, refusing to move an inch. He sat in the sobering feeling of sadness that seemed to be an ever present emotion within their lives currently, he was glad to have spoken to the bird though. Feeling as though he could understand and appreciate the situation for what it was. To get a perspective of Stolas that he never thought to look for before and in a way he was eager to afford the same to Stolas. To share intimacies in a way they never had before. 

 

They would find a way to be okay again. 

Notes:

I would like to say to those who have commented on my work, I really appreciate that you take the time to write something XD I read every one with a huge smile on my face.

Thank you for all of the kind words :)

I will take the time to respond to these comments individually too XD

So again. Thank you. For someone who is hoping to write some of my own original stories with my own characters in the future it inspires me to keep posting.

Chapter 11

Notes:

Merry Sinsmas everyone XD

I would like to say that in this chapter the characters are talking about some pretty uncomfortable stuff regarding SA. So please read with caution, as always I don't go into graphic detail but I feel like I should warn you nonetheless.

Blitzo awoke to a soft knock coming from the slightly open bedroom door. The bird beside him did not rouse, but the Imp willed himself into consciousness. 

 

“Dad?... Asmodeus and your erh… clown friend? Are here” came the hushed voice of Loona, pulling Blitzo into full awareness. He untangled himself from the lanky limbs that were resting across his chest, eyes glancing at the still sleeping form. 

 

“Be right there Loony” but before Blitzo could leave the ever present need to reassure himself that Stolas was here and was safe had him reaching across from his now standing position and running a clawed finger through his messy bed head of feathers. He spent a few moments drinking in the sight of Stolas, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest and then with a heavy sigh, Blitzo made his way to the doorway. Looking back twice before finally leaving the room. An irrational fear that Stolas would somehow magically evaporate in the bed and leave nothing but an indent, set every fibre of his being alight. A nervous energy radiating off him as he entered the living room. 

 

Laying eyes on a Sin sitting on his crappy ass couch, in a tiny apartment was not on Blitzo bingo card, this year or any year for that matter. The sight screamed all sorts of wrong. If it weren't for the seriousness of the visit he’d probably be laughing at the absurdity of it all. 

Seeing Fizz in his place was strange enough, another situation he never thought would be possible… and yet, there they both were. Asmodeus had taken a smaller form but still somehow managed to look fucking huge on his tiny ass couch. Legs awkwardly bent, the jester sitting surprisingly next to the Sin as opposed to on him. 

 

Both looking equally awkward. 

 

Fizz was the first to speak, eyes locked on to Blitzo. Tears gathering in those familiar eyes of his “Why is it that you always manage to end up in some kind of trouble” 

The words were accusatory but the tears that began to stream down the jesters face as he flung himself into Blitzo’s vicinity, robotic arms pulling him into a bone crushing hug, gave away the desperation behind those words. 

 

“I thought I was going to watch you fucking die.. You-you dick” 

 

Blitzo snaked his arms around Fizz, pulling him closer, unable to find the words. 

 

“All I could think about was how we had only just sorted our shit out. After all those years of hating you and then forgiving you only to watch you die on my fucking TV…” 

 

“I-I know fizz, for what it's worth.. I am sorry” 

 

The exhale of a wet chuckle tickled his horn “Yeah well… If it wasn't for Stolas…” Blitzo felt the jester tense in his arms, words dying in his throat. “Stolas… you, you wanted our help with him? But you didn't really go into detail.. But both me and Ozzie will do whatever we can”

 

Blitzo watched as Asmodeus shifted in his seat slightly, leaning forward a warm but hesitant smile gracing his features “It would be helpful if you could tell us how exactly we can help your birdie babe, if it's within my power, i'll gladly be of assistance” 

Fizzarolli gave him one final squeeze before easing his hold, giving Blitzo a once over before returning to his seat next to Ozz. 

 

And now for the hard part of the conversation. 

 

Blitzo’s eyes landed on Loona, she was in the kitchen. Opting to give them all space, probably not wanting to be a part of the conversation that was about to take place. She must have noticed his gaze because her eyes trailed up from her phone, locking on to Blitzo, ears drooping slightly, she nodded at him. A subtle encouragement. 

The Imp found himself sighing for the second time tonight. “Yeah… there's actually a few things I need help with” He glanced back at the slightly ajar bedroom door, the light from the galaxy dome emitting a faint glow from the gap between door frame and door. He hoped the bird was still asleep. Didn't want to distress him with the topics soon to be discussed, this early in the morning. 

He brought a hand to the back of his head, rubbing at it anxiously. He made his way over to the kitchen, grabbing the unoccupied chair and pulling to sit in front of the two perched on his couch. 

“There’s really no delicate way to say this so… I mean, here fucking goes I guess” 

 

A pause. Inhale…. Exhale… 

 

Blitzo knew, before inviting them over that he would get stuck on his own words, not wanting to voice the atrocity, the reality of what had happened. He hadn't found it in himself to explain over the phone… but now… christ on a stick… he had no choice. If he wanted their help. 

 

“There’s two things, Stolas he… probably would not like me telling you this shit but I don't know what else to do. He should be taking antidepressants but I haven't been able to get fucking anywhere with getting hold of them. Imps aren't really high on the list of priority and neither are fucking banished princes it seems… He hasn't come to me about this shit but I know he takes them and he fucking needs them. So if there's anyway you can throw your weight around as a Sin in that regard it would be fucking fantastic ” 

 

He watched as Fizz smiled encouragingly at him, sadness however, tainting the gesture. 

 

Asmodeus nodded, a large hand coming to rest on Fizz’s knee “ That is something I can definitely help you with. Give me a few days and I'll get his prescription sent to you… and what is the other thing regarding that sweet little bird of yours?” 

 

“Right… yeah, issue number two…” The hesitation in his voice had Fizz frowning at him, concern rolling off of him in waves

 

“Blitzo… whatever it is. We want to help. Right Ozzie?” 

 

The Sin sent a reassuring smile in his direction “Of course Fizzie frog” 

 

“It’s just really hard to… say it out loud. It's so personal and… fuck” 

 

The two in front shared a worried look, but decided to say nothing and give Blitzo some time to collect himself, figure out what he was going to say. 

 

No one spoke for a brief moment, Blitzo digging the sharp ends of his claws into his knees slightly, willinging himself to say it. 

 

Just fucking tell them… they might be able to help. 

 

“Yesterday… I took Stolas to I.M.P, for like a change of pace ya know? B-but shit happened and he found out about the article that i'm sure youve fucking seen because who hasn't at this point. That shrivelled witch releasing a statement on behalf of Octavia.. Stolas.. He freaked out and left the office. Loony was with him but had to deal with some dickhead and I was on a job. He got shitfaced and ended up in some fucking back alley… These… these Imps, they… fuck they really fucked him up Fizz. This one guy, I found him on top of Stolas, he was… he was forcing himself on him. I cant get the fucking image out of my fucking head ”   a sharp pain, pulled him from his anguish, his claws digging into his knee caps, a low growl escaping from the back of his throat at the mere thought of what had happened, anger and shame for not preventing it, coursing through his veins. 

 

Ozzie sunk back slightly on the couch, a look that Blitzo couldn't quite place etched into his face. Fizz gazed at Blitzo with a look of understanding, having Mammon exploit him for years, the crazed fans that always took it too far. He could understand the pain, even if only a little. 

 

“I don't know the full extent of what happened… Stolas doesn't remember a lot of it and… he needs to be examined but taking him to a hospital is not an option. He might not even get seen and the press will be all over it because they are fucking vultures… the last thing Stolas needs is to be on the fucking news again” 

Asmodeus shook his head, the unidentifiable look adorning his features morphing into sorrow and disappointment  “Lust is all about the passion of the moment, consent is always a must… poor Birdie babe” 

 

The Sin paused, seeming to ponder something before catching Blitzo’s gaze with his own “Being the Sin of Lust I actually have extensive knowledge of sexual health. If Stolas is accepting of the idea. I could do the examination myself, though I can see how that might be intimidating or uncomfortable for him” 

The hesitant feeling of relief blossomed in Blitzo’s heart, he was finally getting somewhere . He only hoped that the bird would be willing. 

 

“I could fucking kiss you right now if I was sure that Fizz wouldnt cut my red puckered lips off” 

 

Fizz rolled his eyes but also sent a watery smile his way. 

 

The smile however, didn't last long, a frown began to pull at the corners of his mouth “No one should ever have to be subjected to something like that… you're doing a great job of being there for him Blitzo… I’m proud of you” 

 

Blitzo felt his shoulders hike up in embarrassment, unsure how to accept the praise “Yeah well… its the least I can fucking do, considering… ya know… everything” 

“I think that, If Stolas accepts my help, we should perhaps go back to my home. Everything I need is there, and I have a bit more…” The sins eyes swept across the expanse of the room “privacy… for him” 

“Yeah yeah I get it, this place is fucking tiny” 

 

Blitzo glanced at Loona’s bedroom door “Let me go and speak with him” 

The Imp inched into the room, Stolas was laying in a different position to how he had left him, back facing the rest of the room, curled in on himself. 

 

“Hey St-” 

 

“I’m awake” the body on the bed shifted slightly “I… Heard you. Asmodeus he offered to be the one?” 

 

Blitzo sighed, he had hoped that Stolas was still asleep, so that he could have perhaps had a conversation about it, rather than him overhearing them talk about him as if he wasn't there. 

 

“I should have… had that conversation with you present huh? I’m sorry… I keep fucking this up” 

 

Stolas shook his head minutely “ No.. It’s fine Blitzo. I understand why you spoke to them without me. It's not as if I didn't know you would be explaining what had happened. I am not exactly… comfortable with the idea of having a Sin, someone of such high station be so involved in my personal problems but… there is no other way.” Stolas paused for a second, dragging his feathered hands up and down his arm, a nervous gesture “As long as we are not… interrupting Asmodeus and his work. I do not wish to be even more a burden to even more Demons” 

 

Blitzo grit his teeth together at the words leaving the bird “You're not a burden Stolas, and they want to help you. I need you to be absolutely sure that you are okay with Asmodeus doing this. There is no pressure here, okay Stol’s?” 

 

“I suppose this will not be pleasant, regardless of who does it. I would prefer it to be someone I trust. I do trust Sire” 

“Okay pretty bird… are you ready to come out of the room? Maybe eat something?” 

 

Stolas sighed, pulling his body up from his curled position “I Suppose” 

The whole ordeal of making breakfast for more people than Blitzo had ever catered for was an awkward affair to say the fucking least. 

 

Stolas had squashed himself into the corner of the couch that was free. Avoiding any and all eye contact with everybody. 

 

Loona stayed seated at the kitchen table, also refusing to speak. Both Fizz and Asmodeus crowded around each other in an attempt to give Stolas space. 

No one uttered a single fucking word until after they had all eaten. Blitzo had glanced at the bird's plate ‘ eaten’ not really applying to him, as most of the food was still sitting there, clearly moved and smushed around the plate, perhaps in an attempt to make it look as though he had eaten more than he had. He took the dish away nonetheless.

 

Asmodeus was the first to break the silence “Stolas babe, I understand that this entire situation must be uncomfortable, but during our time since you helped me with returning my Fizzie Frog to me, we have gotten closer and I consider you a friend. I hope that you know, we are here for you babe, and… I need you to tell me if you are okay with us going forward with what I am sure you heard us discuss?” 

 

Stolas, if at all possible, managed to sink into himself further. Pupils skittering off to the side, unable to look the Sin in the eye “ Yes… I know this needs to be done and I… I do trust you Sire” 

“Ozzie is fine babe… This must feel like everything is moving very quickly but are you ready to head back to my place? We don't have to start straight away” 

 

Stolas shook his head. “I would rather get this over and one with, if I am completely honest” 

 

“Let’s take our leave then” 

Returning back to Ozzies, to the lust ring, the building where that god’s awful date took place, had Blitzo internally cringing, and now that they were returning, but for even less savoury reasons, the Imp was sure that he would never be able to set foot in here again without thinking about all the bad shit attached to it. 

Asmodeus had led them both to a small clinical looking room. He had explained that due to being the Sin of Lust, he had a private sexual health clinic that was run by himself and some of his staff members for those attending his club. A safe space for the lower class citizens of hell to visit, should the need ever arise. It was not something that was common knowledge apparently. Used more often by his own staff members than anything else. 

 

“I will be back in a few minutes. We wont start until you are ready, okay babe?” 

 

Stolas had not uttered a single word since entering the room, a small nod was his only response. The hand that was gripping onto Blitzo’s own tightening significantly. 

The Imp looked up at the avian, who was staring dead a head, pupils shaking in his sockets, beak slightly parted, short and panicked breaths filling the space around them. 

 

Blitzo wanted to reassure Stolas, tell him it was okay but the reality of the situation was that nothing about this was fucking okay so instead the Imp settled on different words. 

 

He rounded on Stolas, coming to stand in front of him, eyes locking onto his hazy gaze “I'm here pretty bird…” 

 

“ This is so fucking embarrassing” 

 

Blitzo tugged slightly at Stolas’s hands, pulling the avians attention to him “Listen to me pretty bird, you are so fucking brave. You hear me? And so strong. Just keep your eyes on me. It will be over before you know it” 

Stolas wiped at his face with his free hand, a small, extremely fragile smile adorning his soft features “...Thank you” 

A gentle knock reverberated around the space. 

 

It was time.  

The entire experience was fucking awful, Blitzo couldn't even begin to imagine how it must have been for Stolas but when the examination had begun, the bird had been shaking in his hold, Talons gripping onto him almost painfully as Asmodeus gently informed him of everything he was doing and why he was doing it. 

 

The Sin, always asking for permission, reminding Stolas they could stop at any time. Blood work had been taken, a general check up made. When it got to the stage of needing to look for any internal damage, Asmodeus had stopped, encouraging Stolas to look at him. He explained the process, never laying a finger on him until the Bird gave his consent. 

 

Stolas, at this point was crying, silent, heart wrenching tears. Blitzo felt his own falling in unison with the avian. “I’m here” He repeated, whispering into the ear of the man he loved. 

 

“ You won’t think any less of me?” 

 

Asmodeus shook his head, a small encouraging smile on his face “Never Babe” 

 

When Ozzie had gently parted Stolas’s legs, he could feel the rising fear, his body going rigid. 

 

“I need you to try and relax Babe, I don’t want to hurt you” 

Stolas closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. The ever present feeling of Blitzo pressed into his side, grounding him. 

 

Feeling Asmodeus’s fingers brush against him, caused the avian to jump. The Sin stopped his movements, eyes trailing up to the bird. 

 

“I'm sorry … I'm so sorry. I can’t help it” 

 

“None of that Birdie, it’s absolutely fine. We go at your pace” 

 

Stolas willed himself to calm down. “Okay… I’m ready” 

 

The Sin began again, fingers gentle and kind as he took stock of the damage made. An unhappy hum leaving him. 

“I am concerned with the amount of inflammation, there is some significant tearing. As well as old scar tissue that has probably made it worse. We will have to wait on results from the tests we ran. I do have some cream that I think will help. Nothing seems to be irreversibly damaged however”  

 

Blitzo could feel himself going tense with anger at the words, a vicious need to tear apart everyone that had ever laid a hand on Stolas. He collared himself and his rising bloodlust, pulling the avian closer to him. “So brave, pretty bird” He whispered. 

 

Asmodeus had removed himself, pulling back and giving Stolas some space. 

 

“We are all done” The Sin removed his gloves. “I am going to give you a minute and get the cream Babe” 

 

Stolas felt his body go limp in Blitzo’s hold. Both silently crying. Finding comfort in one another. 

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed reading :)

Chapter 12

Notes:

I have had a new idea for another fic so I have been flipping between different works and ideas the last few days. I have a tendency to get so caught up in different thought processes XD but the beauty of this site is I can just keep creating random scenarios with my favourite characters.

Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It was fun to play around with a dream sequence. I wanted to write some more to make it longer but I am incredibly tired and unsure if if will be free to upload anymore this week.

I am aiming to get my other fic 'Bound' completed before the end of next week but we shall see :)

hope you enjoy as always

Stolas didn't remember going to sleep, only that he had in fact passed out somewhere and coming to full coherency was a struggle. In a way it felt as though he was underwater, his limbs heavy and limp as he strained his abdominal muscles, dragging his uncooperative body upright. The bed he was in was a familiar one. His eyes danced across the scene before him, the smell of lavender floating in the space around him. Silken fabric travelling the expanse of his bed surrounded his form. The serenity of the scene lasted only momentarily as the sound of a heavy door swinging shut alerted him to movement coming from his left, his gaze meeting a daggered stare, shining bright with disdain. 

Stella. 

She watched him briefly, a poised and deadly snake, ready to bite at any given moment. He could see the hate coiled in her face. She wore her wedding dress, stolas gaped at the garment. Although Stella was not someone he was sexually attracted to, he could admit that she had looked beautiful, it was a shame they had been tethered together like this. A frown was pulling at his beak, today was supposed to have been about love. Any marriage should be. 

They occupied the same space unwillingly, a ballroom full of disinterested guests just beyond the door and down the stairs. All understanding what they had witnessed. 

 

An unhappy union, forged for only one purpose. 

Their feelings be damned. 

In fact, the only one present to have looked remorseful was Vassago, his eyes trailed after Stolas sadly. He knew that a little piece of his friend was dying tonight, shrivelling away into the expanse of what was soon to become an all encompassing abyss. 

 

It would eat Stolas whole, eventually. 

Stella had not moved, whilst he mused over his shortcomings. She scoffed, looking him up and down, a curl of hatred twisted her beak. 

 

“I fucking hate you” She sneered “I want you to know that before you lay a prissy little finger on me” 

 

“I know” and he did, he was well aware that this was the start of his new life, a existence full of misery, two demons forced to share a life that they never wanted. 

 

He hated her too, so he supposed it was only fair. 

Stella had begun to strip, her intense ferocity never wavering. He watched as she stepped out of her dress, a delicate hand coming to rest on her hip. 

 

“If there is anything that you can do right, let it be this. Fuck an egg into me so that I never have to lay with you again. It’s a big ask, I know. For a pathetic man such as yourself” 

Nothing about this moment was right. None of the books he had read had ever spoken of broken marriages, of unwilling participants. Why did it have to be this way? 

 

Sitting there, amongst the carcass of his own hope, he watched as the scene around him morphed. Stella melted away, leaving Andrelpheus in her wake. The shadow of his lean body leered at him from the foot of his bed. Eyes hooded with desire. 

“Did your father forget it was your birthday again dear boy?” he cooed, eyelashes fluttering. 

 

Stolas felt so small, sitting here. Looking up at his future brother-in-law. His mind raced with confusion. Head reeling from the sudden change in pace, his head snapping down to look at his own body, proportions feeling smaller than they were only moments ago. His attention was dragged away when the bed dipped beside him. A slender hand landing softly on his knee. 

 

“I remembered, I even brought you a gift” 

 

Something churning in Stolas’s gut told him that it wasn't a gift he wanted to receive, a familiar dread rising within him, ready to spew from his mouth.

 

Andrealphus’s grip tightened minutely, fingers curling around his thigh.   

 

“I am going to show you what it's like to be with a man, it's what you want Isn't it Stolas?… well I am being gracious enough to provide, so I think you should accept this gift, it is the only chance you'll get after all” his voice dripped with fake pleasantry, words coated in toxic honey. 

 

The next thing Stolas was aware of was being pushed flush against the mattress. 

 

He closed his eyes. 

 

He allowed his mind to wander, thinking back to the night he met that strange little Imp, he clenched his eyes tighter, biting his lip hard enough that blood began to pool in his mouth, forcing himself to remember that day. The fun they had. He hoped that wherever Blitzo was, he was living his dream. 

 

The sensation of falling pulled the bird out of his daze, he could feel himself sinking into the mattress below him, the blanket threatening to drown him as he fell through the bed. The vision of Andrealphus slowly fading as he slipped further below. 

 

A rush of wind zipped through his feathers as he fell. Coming to an abrupt stop when his back met concrete. The glowing yellow eyes of an Imp were staring back at him. Body pinning him to the cold ground. When his vision cleared, his four eyes zeroed in on the mass above him. Blitzo’s stormy expression stared back at him, tail flicking irately behind him. 

 

The apparition of Blitzo didn't speak, but the pure vitriol emanating from him took Stolas’s breath away. The look the Imp wore was a familiar one. An intensity that had been directed at the bird so many times in the past. 

 

Blitzo’s hands snaked their way around his thin neck. At first there was no pressure, his claws merely ghosting over the feathers. Stolas’s eyes transfixed on the features that floated above him. The Imps lips were pulled back, exposing his sharp teeth. His eyes screamed detestment as they raked unforgivingly over Stolas’s face. 

 

The avian could only watch on as tears began to spring to Blitzo’s eyes, the hands around his neck beginning to squeeze. 

What a pleasure it was, to have his final breath be stolen by the one he loved. 

As his eyes began to flutter, a hazy vision of Octavia phased into his mind, he longed to reach out, but as his fingers brushed her arm, she turned to him. Eyes shining with hatred. 

 

“You never loved me” 

 

Oh my sweet via, how wrong you are. 

 

“You don’t love mother” 

 

I wish I could tell you what she was really like, but I don't have the strength. 

 

“You love him” 

 

… Yes I do. 

“Stolas, wake up” 

The grip around his neck released, a small pressure coming to lightly shake at his shoulder instead. 

 

His eyes slowly blinking open, the feeling of desperation dissipating, only to be replaced with a quiet unease as he woke from his slumber. 

 

“You had a bit of a constipated look on your face, so I thought I’d wake ya… bad dream?” 

 

Stolas felt himself nod, not fully comprehending his current state. A feeling of weightlessness swarming his head as he stared dumbly at the imp in front of him. 

 

“Yes I-I feel a bit odd” he muttered. Hand slowly reaching for Blitzo, who grasped onto his fingers quickly, giving them a light squeeze. A worried look slightly pulling at his features. 

 

“Alright well, lets play a little game hmm?” another squeeze of his fingers, a gentle encouragement “Why don’t you tell me three things you can feel right now?” 

 

Stolas blinked at him a few times, things he could…. Feel? 

 

“... Well, you of course. Your fingers. I…” 

 

“What else?” 

 

“The blanket” 

 

A pause. 

 

“I don’t really know… what else?” 

 

Blitzo sent another small smile his way, fingers running patterns on his own hands. 

 

Stolas looked at his surroundings, he could feel the breeze of the night air coming through a cracked window somewhere in the room. He took a steadying breath. 

 

“I can feel a breeze… I feel a bit more grounded now. Thank you, Blitzo” 

 

“Anytime Stol’s” 

 

The avian took in a few more deep gulps of air before flicking his line of sight across the unfamiliar room. The memories of the day flooding back to the forefront of his mind. 

 

He deduced that he was in the bedroom of one Fizzarolli and Asmodeus. How he had gotten here was a hazy memory that he could not grasp. The exhaustion of the day having been a huge strain on his psyche.  Blitzo seemed to clock on to his confusion. 

 

“You were so tired, you fell asleep on the exam table. The big chicken was kind enough to bring you here. You looked so fucking comfortable that I decided to join in on your afternoon nap” 

 

They both sat there, silent for a few moments. The semblance of calm that had settled over them, a fragile thing that neither wanted to accidentally break. 

A soft knock reverberated around them. Pulling them both from their waking slumber. 

 

Fizz’s head popped through the gap in the door, a hesitant smile gracing his lips. 

 

“Sorry to bother you both but Ozzie wants a quick word with you Blitzo” 

 

Stolas watched as the imps eyes widened in shock, clearly not anticipating being called upon by the sin of lust. His eyes skirted from the door to the bird, a silent question. 

 

Will you be alright for a few minutes? 

 

Stolas nodded his head toward the door, a wobbly smile forced to grace his beak. He only hoped it was convincing enough that the imp would go. He watched Blitzo hesitate only for a moment before sliding off the side of the bed, making his way to the doorway. 

 

As Blitzo disappeared from sight, his eyes landed on Fizz, who had made his way further into the room, coming to sit on a loveseat near the bed, hands twiddling awkwardly in his lap. It was clear the imp wanted to say something, but was unsure if he should. 

 

Stolas cleared his throat, sending what he hoped was an encouraging look his way “You may speak plainly” 

 

The jester jumped slightly at the words and then a metallic awkward laugh bubbled from the back of his throat “Right, yeah… I just. I guess I just wanted to say that, Blitzo really loves you ya know? And despite everything he seems… happier with you around. I guess I just wanted to tell you that” 

 

Fizz looked up at Stolas, eyes brimming with unshed tears “I never thought I'd see the day that he would openly love someone like that, not after… well that's not important right now, just… thank you, for saving him” 

 

A sense of pride bloomed in his chest, a very fickle thing, a delicate feeling of apprehensive love spreading through his veins. The words fighting against the visions of an angry Blitzo choking him, for all the shit he caused. 

 

For what he did to him. A means to an end. 

 

Realising he was yet to say anything, he smoothed his hands down the crisp blankets around him, Eyes downcast. 

 

“I love him too,” he whispered. 

 

A soft chuckle echoed around the room again “I think even a blind demon could see that” 

 

Silence followed for a brief moment, sitting in each other's company in quiet contentment. 

 

“It might not seem like it but. Things will get better. It might not be the same…  but my entire life got tipped on its head years ago. It was terrifying and I was so lost in all of the hate I felt towards literally everyone. Not knowing who I was anymore, not trusting anyone… I Know what it feels like to be so twisted up that it feels like you're never gonna untangle yourself again. But then I met Ozz and… well it all ended up being worth it. Things sorted themselves out. I have full faith the same will happen for you” 

 

Stolas stared at the jester, misty eyes locked on to an intense gaze. Conviction lacing every word. 

 

A small but genuine smile adorned Stolas’s face. 

 

“I think you're right… things will be okay”

Chapter 13

Notes:

Finally another chapter up!!!

Sorry to anyone that may have been waiting, but it is here ✨

Watching Stolas and Octavia’s interaction during sinsmas hurt my heart 🥲

But I’m sure season 3 will rectify their relationship and have the both of them grow.

It had been a few days since their trip to the lust ring, Asmodeus had pulled the imp to the side, pressing a full prescription of antidepressants into his palm, a sorrowful look dancing in his pupils. The king of lust told him to broach the subject delicately when he gave the pills to Stolas. 

 

Like he didn’t fucking know that already, Blitzo had grumbled to himself on his way back to the room he had left the bird in. 

 

As expected, when Blitzo had sat Stolas down later that day, gently pulling the bottle from his pocket, he helplessly watched as the taller demon shrunk into himself, refusing to look the imp in the eye. 

 

What he hadn’t expected was for Stolas to cringe at the sight of it, embarrassment radiating from him. The tension so thick, Blitzo was sure he could have cut it with one of his kitchen knives. 

 

He had asked the bird why he felt the need to keep it from him. Willing him to understand that needing help was never something to feel ashamed over. Without looking at him even once Stolas had explained that Stella, when she had found an empty prescription, had purposely sought him out whilst he was gardening, grabbing him by the back of the head and yanking his face down, shoving the offending bottle at him. 

 

She had laughed, told him that the existence of the pills only proved that she was right. 

 

He was a pathetic waste of space. 

 

An all encompassing rage had eviscerated his insides, boiling to the point of almost erupting out of him in an explosive way, but someone should have given Blitzo a fucking medal because instead he had softly pulled the bird into his vicinity, placing a kiss on his forehead. 

 

“That pile of wasted skin doesn't know fucking shit , you hear me Stol’s?” He had whispered. 

After that night, things had settled down a little. Stolas was back on his medication, it hadn’t been long enough to feel the effects yet but everyone breathed a little easier, knowing that at least one thing was on its way to being righted. 

 

They deserved a fucking win. 

 

Currently, the three occupants of the little apartment were sitting around the galaxy light. Loona buried deep within her phone, Stolas and Blitzo cuddling on the sofa, rewatching spirit for the third time since the bird had moved in with them.

 

No one minded. 

Blitzo had offered his phone to Stolas reluctantly a few nights prior, finally understanding that he couldn’t shield the bird from the world any longer. Things had to change in order for them to move forward. 

 

They had attempted to contact Octavia, which to everyone’s dismay had not worked. 

 

But they talked about it. Loona had even joined in, explaining that if Stella was willing to publish fake news on behalf of Via, then she probably had control over her phone. Which obviously wasn’t great but it filled Stolas with a fragile sense of hope. 

What absolutely no one had expected was a soft knock to reverberate around the room. Loona’s ears perked at the noise, face turning towards the door, sniffing the air. Stolas’s eyes fixed on her when he noticed that she had frozen stiff, eyes blown wide. 

 

“I…. That smells like Octavia” the words barely audible as she stood from her seat. 

 

“….V-Via?” 

 

Nearly falling over his own gangly limbs Stolas bolted over the back of the couch in his haste to reach the door, jostling the imp who had been quietly dozing next to him. 

 

“Wha… Stol’s?” 

 

Shaky hands latched onto the door handle, nearly pulling the door from its hinges as he wrenched the only thing standing between him and his daughter open. The sight of his starfire and his old friend vassago filled his vision, a rush of hot tears cascading down his face as he almost fell into a very startled Octavia, arms winding round her tightly. 

 

“Oh my sweet girl” he wept, feeling her own arms wrap around him, quiet sniffling filtering into his ears. 

 

“Hi dad” she replied through her own tears. 

 

“W-What…. How are you here?” He asked, refusing to let go. The intense fear that if he let go she would somehow disappear. 

 

Through the rush of pure adrenaline Stolas heard the parrot next to via shift slightly “ah mi viejo amigo, you can thank Asmodeus for directing us here” 

 

Vassago smiled warmly at the two, nodding his head at Blitzo who was standing slightly off to the side behind them, not wanting to encroach on the moment, a smile of his own directed towards Stolas and Octavia. 

 

“Perhaps if tu amante is happy to let us in, we can explain everything, Si?” The parrots gaze landing on the imp, tilting his head slightly in question. 

 

Blitzo coughing awkwardly into his hand, eyes flicking over to Loona who was still standing ramrod straight near the TV, she met his gaze, looking equally uncomfortable but nodding nonetheless. 

 

Having three fucking Geotia standing in his doorway, definitely was not something he had ever been expecting. The neighbours must be having a fucking field day. 

 

Realising he hadn’t actually given a response, he rubbed the back of his head “yeah, erh… of course” 

After getting everyone situated in his too small apartment, long limbs bent awkwardly to fit in the available space, Stolas refusing to let go of via, hands clasped tightly in his. The room had grown silent. 

 

Only broken when Octavia took a deep breath, looking Stolas straight in the eye, gaze unwavering “I have a few things I really need to get off my chest, and I need you to listen” 

 

Blitzo watched as Stolas nodded, all attention on the young owl. 

 

The imp’s eyes now on Via, her posture stiffening slightly, as if steeling herself. Determined to say what she had come here to say. 

 

“I was so… angry at you. I couldn’t understand how you were so willing to throw your life away for him… to throw… me, away” the words cut through the space like a bullet aimed directly at the older bird heart 

 

“Via I-“ 

 

“I’m not done!” she snapped, effectively cutting Stolas off. The words were harsh but she willed herself to untense, shooting an apologetic look his way “Mum, she…. Wouldn’t let me talk to you, wouldn’t explain what was going on. You promised that you would never leave and yet you did” it was silent for a few moments, sorrow filling the air, threatening to suffocate them all “…but I sat with it for a bit and realised that, someone was going to die if you had done nothing, someone that you…love… and that was so hard for me to accept. B-but then” 

 

Another pause, eyes flicking toward Vassago, who nodded at her encouragingly “I overheard mum speak with uncle. Heard them berate you. Mum… she spoke about how much joy she found in tormenting you… that regardless of you sleeping with him…. They would have found a way to make you suffer…. I knew that things between you both were never right but you hid it all from me. I-I didn’t realise how bad it was. Dad why, why didn’t you tell me?” 

Blitzo could see the moment when Stolas’s heart shattered, a look of understanding crossing his face, understanding that his daughter had discovered the years of abuse he had tried to desperately to hide from her. 

 

It hurt to watch, enough to have him look away. 

 

“I… I never wanted it to rest on your young shoulders. I tried for so many years to make it comfortable for us, to have a family. But, it was never enough for your mother” Blitzo could hear the tightness in his voice, actively fighting the tears. 

 

Octavia, losing the battle, had fresh tracks running down her face, squeezing his hands gently  “…Vassago reached out. We had a chat… about how you and mum got together. He told me about your marriage. That it was fucking forced” 

 

Fear began to pool in her eyes, sucking in a desperate breath between the thick emotion that clogged her throat “I’m not just some… obligation…  right?” 

 

“Oh my sweet Via, No! Never” 

 

Blitzo watched as the older avain pulled Via into a tight embrace, Stolas’s fingers digging almost painfully into Octavia, the desperation of a father who thought he would never see his daughter again clung to his form. 

 

Vassago smiled at them, hands clasped together in his lap “I hope that I didn’t overstep mi vieja amigo, but I felt it importante’ for her to know” 

 

“Yes…. I understand why you told her, do not worry” came the muffled reply. 

 

After a few more minutes of sniffling and hugging, Octavia pulled away from her Dad, eyes landing on Blitzo, a flicker of resentment sprang across her face before a warmer expression took its place “it’s hard for me to see you as anything other than the red asshole who destroyed my family…. But I understand now that…. That it was never the case. Even if it’s easier to blame you, I am willing to work on those feelings. Not for you but for my dad” 

 

Stolas blinked owlishly between them, almost waiting with baited breath for the imps response, who spluttered momentarily before collecting himself enough to respond. 

 

“Look kid, I get it. I’d fucking hate me too if I was in your shoes…. One day at a time though. Right?” 

 

She smiled at that, before fixing him with another harsh stare “if you ever even think about hurting my dad I will fucking end you… treat him how my mother never did” 

 

“…. If I ever end up hurting him, I’ll fall on my own fucking blade” 

 

Notes:

Let me know what you think of the latest chapter ✨