Drunk Sonic Drabbles

by darkfeath3r

Summary:

A collection of single, double, and triple drabbles of various Sonic characters getting drunk. Most of these drabbles don't connect with each other. I'll end this series once it reaches 100,000 words, or I get bored.

Notes:

I do not write these while drunk, but some of these drabbles are based on conversations I've had while drunk.

I decided to make a playlist of all the songs I reference in these drabbles instead of linking them individually. If I miss any, let me know.

Chapter 1: Spirited

Sonic gently headbutted Shadow's shoulder. Shadow ignored him and scrolled through the movie titles on the TV. Sonic whimpered as loudly and as pathetically as he could.

"No," Shadow said firmly.

"Just one lap around the city. Please! Pretty please!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you've had too much to drink." Shadow answered flatly.

"Running will sober me up," Sonic argued.

"Do I have to tie you down?"

Sonic grinned. "Maybe."

Shadow sighed. "Let's just stay here and watch Spirit."

Sonic rested his head in Shadow's lap. "Oh, I like that movie."

"I know you do."

"Horse."

Shadow patted his head. "Yes."

Chapter 2: Too Much

"Hey, Shads, how you doing?"

Shadow swayed slightly while on his hands and knees. His eyes were shut tight. He growled at Sonic's question.

"Do you think you're gonna be sick?"

After an excruciatingly long silence, Shadow finally said, "Don't know."

Sonic slid a bowl underneath Shadow's head just in case. "Do you want some crackers? Water?"

"No."

"Want to listen to Radical Highway?"

"Don't even joke about that."

Sonic frowned. "So what you want?"

"Nothing. Pretend I don't exist right now."

"Okay..." He stood up to leave.

"Wait! Stay!"

"I'm here," Sonic said, reaching out.

Shadow growled. "No touch."

Chapter 3: Timing

Sonic leaned on Shadow as they stood in front of the door. He fumbled around with the keys until Shadow couldn’t stand standing in the rain anymore and kicked the door open. Shadow turned on the lights while Sonic collapsed on the couch.

"What if I fucked time?" Sonic asked.

"What?"

"Shads, I need time to destroy my body, sexually."

"I think you need to go to sleep."

Sonic gasped, suddenly sitting upright. "What if I gave the Time Demon a call."

"No."

Tears started to well up in Sonic's eyes. "Why? Do you think he'll think I'm weird."

"Yes."

Chapter 4: Sonic vs The Vending Machine

"Shads! I need a dollar!"

Shadow handed Sonic a dollar. "You're never going to get it."

Sonic inserted the dollar into the vending machine and punched in the code. He waited with bated breath as the metal around the package of cookies unfurled itself. The cookies dropped but did not dislodge the bag of chips directly below it, which was Sonic's true goal. The cookies landed in the snack pile outside the machine.

Sonic fell to his knees. "Nooooooooo!"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "There's literally a store across the street that has the same chips!"

"But I want these chips."

Chapter 5: Karaoke

“I’m six feet from the edge, and I’m thinking－ Take it away bro!”

Shadow put the microphone in front of the Biolizard’s face. The Biolizard garbled loudly to the beat of the song. A security guard approached them.

“Your pet lizard is freaking everyone out. You have to leave.”

“How dare you! This is my brother. Not a pet.”

The guard crossed his arms. “You’re still causing a disturbance. You have to leave.”

Shadow stumbled forward. “This is discrimination.”

The Biolizard roared in agreement.

“Your dad rock is harshing the vibe.”

“Ah, understandable then. Come on bro. Let us away.”

Notes:

Want to listen to the song Shadow sang? Listen here

Chapter 6: Persuasion Check

“You enter the dungeon,” Silver said. “You see Amy and Blaze in the first cell on your left. There are two guards stationed. What do you do?”

“I try to seduce a guard,” Sonic said.

“Roll a persuasion check.”

“Darn. One.”

“I establish dominace by killing a guard and kissing Sonic on top his dead body,” Shadow said. He crawled across the table to kiss Sonic as he said this.

“Why do you do this? Just sit together.”

“I cast enlarge on Shadow,” Amy said.

Silver sighed. “Maybe I should make a no drinking rule.”

“I cast fireball,” Blaze said.

Chapter 7: Knotty Thoughts

Sonic, Shadow, and Amy sat on top of the hill, watching the sun set.

"Hey, Shads," Sonic said, "theoretically, if I turned into a big werewolf-like creature and had a big werewolf-like dick, would you let me knot you?"

"No."

"No!?"

"No."

Sonic crossed his arms. "I'd let you knot me."

"I'd let you knot me," Amy said, "but only if I get to leash and muzzle you."

"That goes without saying," Sonic responded.

"Safety first," Shadow agreed.

They sat in silence as they watched the last rays of the sun disappear. Sonic then clicked his tongue. "So funny story..."

Chapter 8: Secret Admirer

The crowd parted to let Sonic and Knuckles through. Blaze patted Silver's shoulder as he sat on the ground with a box of half eaten chocolates. Tears streamed down his face.

"Alright, who did this?" Knuckles asked, leaning on Sonic.

"That's the thing," Silver said, sniffling. "I don't know! These are literally the best chocolates I've ever had in my life, and I'll never know who sent them!"

He hiccuped and then shoved another chocolate in his mouth before offering the box. "Want one?"

Sonic smiled. He recognized the box's delicate wrapping. "Nah, enjoy the gift from your secret admirer."

Notes:

Who do you think is Silver's secret admirer? Cause I don't know.

Chapter 9: Movie Night

Sonic sat on the couch, sipping on a vodka soda. “When does Hatsune Miku show up?”

“The movie just started,” said Shadow.

“Oh.” A few moments of silence passed before Sonic asked, “So when does Hatsune Miku show up?”

“We’re still in the opening credits.”

“So after that?”

“Obviously.”

They watched the rest of the opening credits in silence. The movie opened up with a black-and-white overhead shot of a city and a noir-style voiceover.

“So when does Hatsune Miku show up?”

Shadow sighed. “I’ll just skip ahead.”

“No! I wanna watch the movie!”

“Then shut up!”

Sonic sniffed. "Meanie."

Chapter 10: The Egg Dilemma

"Hey, Shads," Sonic said, nudging Shadow. "You have Black Arms biology, right?"

Shadow finished his beer. "Sometimes."

"Can you lay eggs?"

"No."

"How do you know? Have you tried?"

Shadow sighed. "No."

"Ok, but theoretically, if you could lay eggs, would you lay eggs inside me?"

"We're in public, Sonic."

"I want mine sunny side up," said Amy, lifting her head up from the bar.

"We're not eating them, Ames."

"I can't lay eggs!" Shadow shouted as chaos energy sparked off of him.

The whole bar went silent. "That's too bad," Amy said. "Have you seen the price of eggs?"

Chapter 11: A Fine Vintage

Summary:

I decided to make this drabble a double. Enjoy!

Rouge flipped the empty champagne bottle upside down and sighed dramatically. "Looks like we're out of champagne."

"Already!?" Knuckles exclaimed. "I barely drank any!"

Rouge shrugged. "Drink faster next time."

"It's champagne! Not shots." He quickly drank the rest of his glass before she decided to steal it. He muttered, "That bottle was from Tikal's tribe."

His face reddened when two soft and supple mounds pressed up against him. He jumped out of Rouge's embrace, dropping his glass in the process.

"Put your clothes back on!" He covered his eyes. "What if someone sees?"

She laughed. "Relax! I'm just having fun!"

"You're defiling the Master Emerald! Get down! No, wait! Don't come down here. There's broken glass everywhere."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Yours!" Knuckles screeched as he swept up the broken glass. Rouge just laughed harder.

***

Metal watched the pair from a distance, wondering how to flee the scene without being noticed. He knew he was supposed to look for a lost relic on Angel Island, but the situation had become too dangerous for Metal to handle. Already his processors were overheating just from watching the scene unfold before him. Eggman would understand if he came back empty-handed, right?

Chapter 12: Philosophical Musings

“Hey, Silver,” Sonic said, leaning on Shadow for support. “Can you solve an argument for us?”

“I can try,” Silver answered hesitantly.

“Ok, so I think only the present exists. The past only exists in our minds, and the future doesn’t exist because we haven’t experienced it yet.”

Shadow hiccuped. “And I say, there’s no present because the present isn’t a fixed time. We're perpetually going into the future, but we can never reach it because our minds can only process the past.”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“That is irrelevant.”

“You know I’m from the future, right?”

Chapter 13: Case of the Miraculous Jukebox

Summary:

I have another double drabble for you. This one's kind of a Good Omens crossover. If you've seen Good Omens season 2, you'll understand.

"Why does the jukebox keep playing the same song over and over again?" Don asked, rubbing his temples. "It's giving me a headache."

"I like it," Vector said. He started humming, "Every day, it's a gettin' closer..."

"Goin' faster than a rollercoaster," Nite sang along.

"Ugh."

"Sorry folks," the bartender said. "That jukebox can only play one song. Even if you replace all the records, the same bloody Buddy Holly song will play anyway."

"I've heard of this jukebox!" Espio exclaimed. "It is said that a young couple professed their love to each other while this song played, and their love was so moving, it influenced the jukebox to play only play this song."

Vector wiped a tear from his eye. "That’s so beautiful. It's like a miracle!"

"More like a curse," the bartender grumbled.

"If you don't like it, why not get rid of it?" Espio asked.

"Tried. Can't destroy it, and nobody wants it."

Vector slammed his drink down on the bar. "I want it! How much do you want for it?"

“I don’t think we can afford a jukebox,” Espio said.

"If you really want it,” the bartender said, “then it's all yours."

"Yes! Another case closed!"

Notes:

Some context
The whole song

Chapter 14: Christmas Caroling

Summary:

Do me a favor and pretend I uploaded this on Christmas.

“And a partridge in a pear tree!” Shadow sang at the top of his lungs.

As the biolizard picked up the next verse, a blue blur approached them at an alarming speed. It circled around the building they were on a few times before it finally stopped.

“Oh, it’s just you guys,” Sonic said. “I thought there was an actual threat the way everyone’s been panicking.”

Shadow hiccuped. “Why’s everyone afraid? We’re just spreading Christmas cheer.”

The biolizard roared in agreement.

“Why don’t I join you? Maybe it’ll put everyone at ease.”

“Sure.”

“What verse are you on?”

“Four.”

“Damn.”

Chapter 15: Overconfident

Knuckles pulled back the string of the toy bow. He did not intend to shoot anything; he was just feeling a little tipsy and messing around. Sonic noticed Knuckles playing with the toy and called out to him.

“Knux! Over here! Take your best shot!”

“Are you sure?”

Sonic chugged the rest of his canned cocktail and threw it on the ground. “Yeah! Bring it on!”

Knuckles shrugged. He pulled back the bow, aiming at Sonic’s chest, and released. The impact of the toy arrow knocked Sonic flat on his ass.

“Ow!" Sonic groaned. "That hurt! Why does it hurt?”

Notes:

Don't worry; he's fine.

Chapter 16: Oath of Vengeance

“You enter the village,” Silver said. “It’s a quaint village with tiny, stone houses. Children carry buckets of water from the well－”

“I knock on the nearest house,” Amy said.

“Ok, an elderly man opens the door.”

“What’s he look like? Is he hot?”

Silver smiled mischievously. “He dies instantly.”

“No! My one true love!”

“I'll avenge him,” Shadow said. “Amy, I swear on my oath, I'm a give you vengeance! Swiftly and satisfying.”

Amy sniffed. “Thanks, Shadow.”

“But he died of old age.”

“That’s what the murderer wants you to think!” said Vector, slamming down his beer.

Silver sighed.

Chapter 17: Ever Muddled

Summary:

I've got another double drabble for you. This one is different. It's serious and a little bit sad. Don't worry; it will be the only serious story in this collection. I just wanted to see if I could write a serious drabble. I might expand on this story in a longer fic. We'll see.

Surge wandered aimlessly through the city with a bottle of Everclear in hand. She only had a few sips, about three shots, and already her motor skills were suffering. It was getting hard to read the street signs too.

Sonic, Dr. Starline, random passersby—they were all stupid and weak. But she was by far the stupidest and weakest of all. She didn’t even know where she was or where she was going. She couldn’t handle a little bit of alcohol. How pathetic was that?

The smell of blueberries caught her attention. It was familiar somehow. She stumbled towards the smell and found herself in front of a quaint cottage surrounded by white hydrangeas.

She banged on the door. Stupid. What was she doing? What was she going to say to whoever opened the door? Maybe she should leave. Ding dong ditch. That would be funny.

She collapsed on the steps instead, dropping the bottle. And as the world went dark, she whimpered, “Momma.”

***

Vanilla didn’t know why Surge was passed out on her doorstep. She had heard of the troublesome tenrec but had never met her. But she brought her inside anyway. She couldn’t turn away someone in need.

Chapter 18: Tree Climbing

“I’m not that drunk!” Blaze protested.

“Yeah, right,” Knuckles teased. “You can’t even stand up straight.”

“I’ll prove it to you!” Blaze pointed to a nearby tree. “By climbing that tree!”

“You don’t have to do that,” said Sonic.

Blaze quickly scaled the tree. “See!”

She stayed in the tree. “Well?” Knuckles called. “Aren’t you gonna come down?”

“I can’t! I’m stuck!”

Knuckles shook his head. “Alright, I’m coming.”

Knuckles climbed up to Blaze, but he too stayed up in the tree. “Um, Knuckles?” Sonic called.

“I’m stuck.”

“Just glide down!” Sonic shouted.

“No!”

Sonic sighed. “Ok, I’ll call Rouge.”

Chapter 19: New Year Kiss

Notes:

Do me a favor and pretend that I uploaded this on New Year.

“Three… Two… One… Happy New Year!” Everyone in Vanilla’s house cheered as confetti poppers and champagne popped.

“Come here, handsome!” Sonic grabbed what appeared to be Shadow by the waist and planted a sloppy, drunken kiss on his lips.

“Sonic!” Shadow shouted from across the room. “That’s not me!”

Sonic looked down into the glossy, blank eyes of the fake Shadow. “A Shadow Android!?” The Shadow Android pushed Sonic away and ran out the door. Sonic shook his head in disbelief. “What? How? Why?”

“Relax,” Shadow said. “I don’t blame you. It was an honest mistake.”

“You don’t understand! My first kiss of the new year, it’s ruined!”

He sobbed in Shadow’s arms. Shadow rolled his eyes. “If it really means that much to you… Chaos Control!” One moment they were in Vanilla’s house, the next moment they were on a crowded boat in the canals of Solenna.

“What are we doing here?” Sonic asked in awe.

“The new year hasn’t started here yet,” Shadow answered.

“You mean…”

The crowd around them began to count down. “Three… Two…”

Shadow grabbed Sonic by the waist and smiled. “One. Happy New Year, handsome.” They kissed as fireworks exploded into the night sky.

Chapter 20: Late Night Snack

“I don’t want that many beans!” Sonic whined, tugging on Knuckle’s non-cooking arm.

“Well, I can’t put the beans back!” Knuckles shouted.

They both screamed in terror when bright light flooded the kitchen. They were using the light over the stove to cook.

“What are you two doing?” Shadow asked.

“We got hungry,” Sonic answered. The Biolizard’s head peeked through the entryway.

Shadow’s gaze swept across the messy kitchen. “And that requires every dish in the house?”

The Biolizard garbled loudly.

“Don’t encourage them.”

“What’d he say?” Sonic asked.

“He said he’d eat all the leftover beans.”

“Yay! Crisis averted!”

Chapter 21: Cancelled Plans

“H-O-T-T-O-G-O!” Sonic sang as he jiggled Blaze’s bare breasts to the beat of the song.

“Sonic, are you going to fuck me or play with my tits all night?”

“Hold on! I’m not done with the song. Now where was I? Fuck, can’t remember. Guess I’ll just have to start over.”

Shadow snored from the armchair across the room. He had one hand on his limp dick and the other hand held an empty bottle of tequila.

Blaze sighed. She grabbed the bottle of Chardonnay on the nightstand and drank a couple huge mouthfuls. Tonight wasn’t going how she planned.

Notes:

HOT TO GO!

Chapter 22: Sonic vs the Vending Machine Part 2

Knuckles stopped and pointed to the vending machine across the street. “Hey, isn’t that the vending machine that took all your money last week?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Bet I could get those chips for you.”

Knuckles handed his beer to Sonic. He rolled up his nonexistent sleeves, took a deep breath, and punched the machine as hard as he could. Nothing happened. “Tough guy, huh?”

“I’ve got this!” Amy said, summoning her hammer.

She hit the machine with her hammer, but again, nothing happened. Sonic curled up on the ground as Amy and Knuckles took turns beating the machine.

Chapter 23: The Tattoo

Sonic tugged on Shadow’s arm and pointed to the tattoo parlor just ahead. “Look!”

Before Shadow could protest, Sonic had already raced inside. With an annoyed sigh, Shadow followed him.

Sonic plopped down on the tattoo bed. “I want a sexy bee lady eating a stack of pancakes while on top of a spaceship on my ribs. Also, she’s a vampire.”

The tattoo artist stared at him dumbfounded. Shadow passed him a marker and a thousand dollars. “Just draw whatever.”

“Um, okay…”

The artist pressed the marker against Sonic’s ribs. He screamed. Shadow gave him another grand. “For your troubles.”

Chapter 24: Defying Gravity

Notes:

This one's another double drabble. Enjoy :)

Shadow crossed his arms. “I refuse to be carried around like a sick puppy.”

Rouge flew circles around him. She hiccupped from the sudden motion; once she was done with her hiccupping fit, she said, “Well, unless you can fly, I don’t see how you’re gettin’ past that ravine.”

“You can’t even fly straight.” He drank the rest of his beer. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“What are you—”

She looked in horror, awe, and arousal as Shadow screamed in agony, growing grotesque, black tendril-like wings from his back. Once the transformation was complete, he shot up powerfully into the air, flying circles around Rouge in turn and singing, “I think I’ll try defying gravity!”

Recovering from the initial shock, she laughed and started flying and singing along with him. They flew higher and higher as if they were trying to reach the moon. Shadow then grabbed Rouge by the waist and leaned close to her face. “And no wizard that ever was or is will ever bring me down.” He planted a sloppy kiss on her lips.

Meanwhile, Sonic, hanging onto a branch jutting out of the ravine, called out, “Hey, guys, I’m still down here! Little help?”

Notes:

Defying Gravity

Chapter 25: Caught in the Act

Notes:

I have another double drabble for you. This one gets a little steamy. Enjoy :)

Amy stumbled into the guest room, holding a glass of sangria. She closed the door, set the glass on the dresser, and turned on the radio. "Untouched" by The Veronicas started to play. She went around the room touching all the things Blaze might have touched. It was an exercise in admiration that ended in frustration.

Whenever Blaze visited this dimension, this was the room she stayed in. Amy hadn't cleaned it since she left the last time, hoping to keep any lingering traces of Blaze, such as a forgotten hair tie or a strand of hair, all to herself. But Blaze was too neat and orderly to leave anything behind. She had also been gone so long that nothing, not even the scent of her perfume, remained.

Amy threw herself onto the bed, imagining Blaze pinning her down, exploring her body, finding all the right places to get her going. Just whispering her name was enough to make her melt.

Suddenly, the door opened. Amy yelped and darted under the covers. She hoped against hope that whoever was at the door hadn't seen anything.

She heard a giggle, and then the blanket lifted. Blaze smiled at her. "Miss me?"

Notes:

Untouched

Chapter 26: Shadow's Quartet

Rouge, Maria, Gerald, Omega, Orbot, and Cubot gathered around a stage in White Space. They watched Shadow, Metal Overlord, Biolizard, and Mephiles sing "Dream On." No one sang on key or on beat.

Their attempts at choreography were even worse. Mephiles was too busy avoiding getting stepped on by Biolizard and Metal to keep up with Shadow. Shadow's moves weren't very coordinated, but after three bottles of soju, it was a miracle he was still upright.

Regardless, Rouge and the others cheered once their performance was over.

"Can I exist now?" Mephiles asked.

"No," answered Shadow.

Mephiles faded from existence.

Notes:

Dream On

Chapter 27: A Silver Valentine

Notes:

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Silver stood on the stage, hugging the microphone as he sang, “All by myself. Don’t want to be all by myself…”

While he sang, Shadow and Sonic, Rouge and Knuckles, and Amy and Blaze were slow dancing with each other. When the key changed, Sonic shouted, “Okay, switch!” Everyone tripped over themselves rushing to find their next partner. Shadow paired up with Knuckles, Sonic with Blaze, and Amy with Rouge.

“Ohh... ohhhh. All by myself…”

Charmy flew towards Silver, carrying a bouquet of roses and a Valentine’s Day card. “Special delivery for Silver!”

Silver gasped loudly. “I have a Valentine!?”

Notes:

All by Myself

Chapter 28: Fishing Trip

The Biolizard swam lazily next to the fishing boat. Big and Shadow sat on opposite ends, holding onto their fishing rods. Sonic sat in the middle, clutching onto the open cooler with beers. The Biolizard grumbled.

“I agree,” Shadow said. “This is taking too long!”

Shadow stood up and shot Chaos spears into the water, rocking the boat. Sonic grabbed onto Big, digging his fingers into his sides. Fish floated to the top when Shadow stopped.

“There you go, bro. Eat up.”

The Biolizard swam after the fish, nearly capsizing the boat. “The things I do for love,” Sonic mumbled.

Chapter 29: The Competition

Notes:

Another double drabble. Happy Mardi Gras!

Rouge, Blaze, and Amy walked down Bourbon Street with a hurricane cocktail in one hand and a handful of beads in another. They whooped and hollered and flashed anyone who offered them beads.

"Whaddya think, Blaze?" Rouge asked. "Isn't Mardi Gras great?"

"Yeah, we should start celebrating this holiday in my dimension."

Eventually, the street became too crowded to continue. Everyone was yelling and throwing beads at a big robot opening his chest and showing off his missiles.

"I AM SO SEXY! GIVE ME ALL YOUR BEADS, YOU PATHETIC MEAT SACKS."

Amy nudged Rouge. "Hey, isn't that Omega?"

Rouge laughed. "Yup." She flew up and shouted, "Omega! Whatcha doin here?"

"HELLO, ROUGE. I AM HAVING A BEAD COLLECTING COMPETITION WITH SHADOW AND SONIC."

It was then she noticed the black hedgehog sulking next to Omega. He only had three sets of beads, while the pile next to Omega only grew larger. "How am I losing? I am the Ultimate Lifeform."

Sonic zipped by. He was covered in beads. "I just got five more!" He declared. "Watch out, Omega, I might catch up."

"DOUBTFUL."

Rouge flew down and kissed Shadow's forehead before tossing her beads to Omega. "Better luck next time."

Chapter 30: Pizza Time!

Sonic and Amy stood outside, staring at the display pizzas in the window, breathing heavily.

"I want that pizza inside me," Amy said.

"I want that pizza to impregnate me," Sonic said.

"Whatcha naming your kids?"

"Jojo, Mimi, and Salami. He's my favorite, but don't tell the others."

At that moment, Shadow walked out, carrying a tower of pizza boxes. "You can stop drooling all over the window now. I have your pizzas."

Sonic and Amy squealed in glee. They danced around him and chanted, "Pizza time!"

"I could just eat all these myself," Shadow warned.

"Noooooo! We'll be good."

Chapter 31: Know When to Fold

Notes:

I have another double drabble for you. Enjoy:)

"Read 'em and weep, losers!" Scourge said as he revealed the royal flush in his hand. He laughed as he grabbed his winnings from the table. Smiling smugly, he leaned back to drink the rest of his hard seltzer, but when he reached for his drink, there was nothing there.

He heard coughing and sputtering behind him. "Mr. "Scourge," Cream said. "This soda tastes funny."

He swiped the empty can from her. "That's because it's not soda, you stupid brat!"

Vanilla emerged from the shadows, her expression severe. "Did you just give my child alcohol?"

"Maybe you should teach your kid not to drink random shit," Scourge replied. "It ain't my fault you're a terrible mother."

Everyone around the table gasped. "If I were you," Sonic said, "I'd start running."

"Pfft, I ain’t afraid of no suburban housewi-"

The cleaver came down before Scourge could finish his sentence. There were screams. There was blood.

Elsewhere, a nice boat cruised down the river, and a wolf and a lemur reenacted that one scene from the Titanic at the bow of the ship. Hopefully, their romance wouldn’t end the same way Rose's and Jack's did. Anyway, the point is, life went on.

Notes:

R.I.P Scourge

Chapter 32: A Vanilla Brunch

Notes:

Been a while since I've done one of these, huh? Don't worry, I haven't abandoned this series. I've just been working on other projects. Anyway, enjoy :)

Happy Mother's Day!

"A toast to the baddest bunny alive," Rouge said, raising her champagne flute, filled to the brim with mimosa. "Happy Mother's Day, Vanilla."

Vanilla chuckled, blushing. "That's the fifth toast you've given me this morning."

"That's cause you deserve all the toasts! Now are you gonna leave me hanging or what?"

They clinked their glasses together which caused the contents of Rouge's glass to spill all over the table. Rouge cursed under her breath, trying to mop up the mess with a napkin.

Vanilla chuckled again and then reached over to grab the other's hand. "Come on, let's go home."

Chapter 33: Life of the Party

Silver reclined on the couch next to a green pronghorn, strumming his acoustic guitar. The pronghorn sat, her back straight, hands clasped in her lap, smiling politely. After a few slurred verses of “Wonderwall,” she stood up and excused herself, returning to the main party. Silver watched her go, hurt and confusion plain on his face.

Sonic and Shadow were hiding under the couch, so when she finally left, they crawled out and made their presence known. Shadow coughed softly so as not to startle Silver too badly, but Sonic nudged Silver’s ribs hard.

“Wow, you struck out hard,” he said. “Wanna beer? There’s still some left.”

Silver jumped back and yelped. “How long have you guys been here?”

“I fell from the Arc all the way to Earth,” Shadow said, “and that was not nearly as painful as listening to that pathetic exchange.”

“I don’t know what I did wrong!” Silver said, taking Sonic’s beer and drinking the remaining liquid. “Chicks from the past love ‘Wonderwall!’”

“Who told you that nonsense?” Shadow asked.

“Rouge.”

“Hmph. Odd. Rouge doesn’t even like Oasis.”

Mimic, disguised as Rouge, watched from a distance, snickering to himself. “I can’t believe he fell for that.”

Notes:

I don't know why I keep making Silver suffer. I swear I actually like him!

Chapter 34: Finding Pride

Summary:

Trigger warning! Homophobic slurs and threats.

“I swear the entrance to Pride Fest is just around the corner!” Sonic said as he tugged Knuckles alongside the fence surrounding the pride festival.

“It’s hot and my feet hurt!” Knuckles groaned. He dug his heels into the ground, causing the both of them to fall over.

Shadow rolled his eyes and sighed before he picked up the echidna bridal style. “You make a worse drunk than Sonic.”

Sonic snickered. “Lightweight.”

“Don’t be so cocky! You’re only slightly less annoying than Knuckles right now.”

“Oh? I guess once we get inside, I’ll have to reclaim my title. Whaddaya say, Knux? Wanna have a drinking contest?”

“After you called me a lightweight? Yes.”

“Aw, look at the fags!” announced a shirtless man, holding a bat in his hand. Other shirtless men holding bats stepped up beside him. “Hey, fags. Looking for some wood?”

Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles all looked at each other before they burst out laughing. The shirtless men glared at them, but before they could say another word, the Biolizard roared. They screamed and ran off.

“Hmph. Cowards run.”

“Aw, I wanted to fight them!”

“It’s crazy how a giant lizard can sneak up on someone,” Sonic remarked.

Chapter 35: Pride Merch

Silver groaned as Blaze set him down on a bench in the shade. "Ugh, you were right. I shouldn't have had that second margarita."

"I told you!" Blaze chided. "It's Pride, the pours are heavy. Now stay here. I'll be right over there," she pointed to a tented area with people handing out water bottles. "I'll get you some water."

Silver closed his eyes. "Okay."

A few moments later, Silver felt someone place something in his lap. He opened his eyes. A rainbow wrapped gift box was in his lap, but no one else was around. He gasped. "A gift!?"

Chapter 36: And They Were Roommates

Amy checked her watch. “I wonder where Sonic and the others are. They were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

Lanolin sauntered up to her, carrying two glittery pink drinks. “They probably had to find an alternate route for the Biolizard. I’m sure they’re fine!”

Amy took one of the pink drinks. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“’Course I’m right! Now stop worrying and have some fun! It’s Pride, baby!”

She tripped and accidentally fell on a tenrec and a fox walking by, spilling her drink all over them. The tenrec growled. “Hey, watch it, muffin top!”

“Surge!? Sorry!”

They tried to get up, but the effort only succeeded in them falling over each other again. Surge’s face landed in Lanolin’s wooly head. “Mmm, wait. That’s nice.” She nuzzled her face further into the wool. “I wish I could rub my face in this forever.”

Lanolin laughed awkwardly. Her hands fumbled, not really sure where to place them. “If you lived with me, you could pet my wool anytime you wanted.”

Surge finally pushed herself off Lanolin, giving her a serious look. “Do you have a roommate?”

“No.”

“You do now.”

Kit whispered into Lanolin’s ear, “Don’t hurt her or else.”

Chapter 37: Splash Room

Summary:

How about one more drunk Pride drabble? With Rouge and Vanilla as a treat.

After a few rainbow vodka cocktails, Rouge and Vanilla found themselves in the adults only section of the Pride festival dedicated to erotica. They browsed all the artworks until they found an interactive display that involved body painting.

After the artist explained what to do, Rouge and Vanilla stripped naked. They painted each other with bright paint and then threw themselves onto a large blank canvas.

Some say the resulting painting was the hottest painting to ever exist. Unfortunately, the painting was so hot that it caught fire soon after its completion.

C'est la vie. That's right, I speak French.

Chapter 38: The Performance of a Lifetime

Summary:

Okay, I lied. This is the last drunk Pride drabble. I wanted to write one for Father's Day; but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't sad, so I wrote this instead. This one's a triple drabble. Enjoy :)

Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, and the Biolizard met up with Amy, Lanolin, Kit, and Surge at the beverage station near the entrance to the Pride festival. Sonic and Knuckles challenged Surge to a drinking contest, but Shadow cut them off before a winner could be determined once he figured out Sonic was only drinking himself stupid, so Shadow would carry him. Shadow then banned Sonic from riding the Biolizard’s back as they made their way over to the main stage where Silver and Blaze joined them.

“Are you ready for a show?” asked the announcer. He waited for the noise of the crowd to die down a little before continuing. “Then give a warm welcome to InfiniTea and Ionique!”

Neon lights flashed, smoke filled the stage, and “Pink Pony Club” started playing. Then the smoke cleared, revealing a jackal and a metal hedgehog, both wearing elegant pink satin dresses lined with rhinestones.

“Is that Infinite and Metal?” Silver asked.

“Seems so,” Shadow answered.

“Is it me or does Metal look kinda cute in that dress?” Sonic asked, leaning on Blaze for support.

“You’re drunk.”

“I don’t know,” Amy said. “Metal looks stunning in that dress.”

“You’re drunk too.”

“Nah, you just have the hots for someone else,” Sonic teased. “A certain jackal perhaps?”

Shadow looked away, blushing. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. McBroodypants. I’ll get his attention.”

Sonic raced to the top of the Biolizard’s head. The Biolizard lowered his head so Sonic was at the front of the stage. He waved a hundred-dollar bill at Infinite, who strutted over; but before he could take the bill, Sonic whispered something in his ear. Turning his heterochromatic gaze at Shadow, he slowly grabbed the bill from Sonic with his teeth, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

Shadow fainted.

Chapter 39: Musical Chairs

Nite and Don sat at a table in a semi-secluded corner of the bar. Rock music played overhead. Nite repeated the words, “Go Baby Go Go. We’re right behind you… I like this song. I wonder who sings it.”

“It’s Garbage,” Don said.

“I don’t know,” Nite replied. “I think it sounds good.”

“No, it’s Garbage.”

“Ok, ok, I get it! You don’t like it.”

“No! The band is called Garbage! You should know, you run a radio station!” He stopped himself, narrowing his eyes. “You do know who this is, don’t you?”

Nite smiled mischievously.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Chapter 40: Standing Ovation

“And then what happened?” Sonic asked.

“And then,” Tangle stood up, wobbling. “And then—”

“Perhaps you should sit back down,” Whisper suggested.

“No!” Tangle shouted. “I have to stand up for this! It’s important!”

“Yeah, Whisper!” Sonic said, zooming back and forth across the room. “Let her tell the story her way.”

Whisper growled, then sighed. “Three, two, one.”

“So then the jackalope—”

Tangle collapsed back onto the couch mid-sentence, snoring. Sonic raced over to Tangle and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. “Tangle? What happened next, Tangle? The jackalope! I have to know!” Then he, too, passed out.

Chapter 41: Category Two

“Darling,” Rouge said in that tone Knuckles knew meant that she was up to no good. She danced her fingers down his back, an action that only raised Knuckles’ suspicions. Whatever she was up to, he was probably going to regret it. “Can you help me with something?”

He sighed. “What is it?” He turned to see Rouge topless, or she would be topless if it wasn’t for the Hurricane glasses sticking to her chest. “What did you do!?”

Rouge sniffed, her eyes welling with tears. “I wanted to see if they could fit! Now I can’t get them off!”

Knuckles whistled. “Wow! You filled up both glasses! That’s impressive actually.”

“Yes, yes, I’m amazing. Now please get them off!”

“Okay, hold on.” Knuckles pulled on one glass, cracking it.

Rouge backed away. “Hey, be careful!”

Knuckles huffed. “Hey! I’m trying to help! Maybe next time you’ll think before you go sticking your boobs into stuff.”

Rouge sobbed. “Don’t judge me!”

Metal watched them, hiding behind a statue, remaining motionless until they safely removed the drinkware from Rouge’s massive mammaries. While he waited, he wondered why every time he went to Angel Island, Rouge and Knuckles were doing something weird.

Chapter 42: Milky Way

“Dammit!” Surge shouted, slamming the refrigerator door shut.

Starline sighed. “What is it?”

“We’re out of milk! How am I supposed to make White Russians without milk?”

“Oh no! I guess you’ll have to got to bed at a reasonable time then.”

She kicked the wall. “Fuck that!”

“Alright, calm down! I’ll get you some milk.”

He stood up, grabbed a cup out of the cabinet, and then left the room. He returned a few minutes later with the cup full of milk.

“It’s warm.”

“It’s fresh.”

She grimaced, but then shrugged and took a tentative sip. “Hmm, not bad.”

Notes:

Fun fact! Platypuses sweat milk.

Chapter 43: Heavy Petting

Sonic took turns crossing and uncrossing his legs and arms while he waited for Shadow to stop petting Blaze, who was curled up in his lap, purring.

“Would you stop doing that?” Shadow asked. “You’re getting on my nerves.”

“Fine!” Sonic said. He straightened his back, planting both feet on the shag carpet. He stayed in this position for exactly fifteen seconds before tapping Blaze on the shoulder and asking, “Hey, Blaze, can I get a turn?”

She hissed, literally spitting fire at him.

Shadow snickered. “Easy, kitty.”

Sonic groaned. “Blaze! Come on, make some room!”

“Stop provoking the fire cat and go get a beer or something.”

Sonic grumbled and turned away. He climbed over Amy, sleeping in a pile of clothes, and grabbed a beer off the coffee table. “I just want some pets,” he mumbled.

At that moment, Metal burst into the room, breaking the door into splinters. Spotting Sonic, he flew towards him and scooped him up. He then sat on the couch with Sonic in his lap and stroked his head.

“I wish I had an evil robotic version of me that would break down doors and pet me whenever I’m feeling lonely,” Silver said.

Chapter 44: Nuts!

Summary:

Another double drabble for you. Enjoy :)

Shadow sat on the couch, watching Mamma Mia. Tears formed in his eyes as he sang along to “Slipping through my Fingers.”

Suddenly, the front door burst open and Sonic and Knuckles tumbled in, dumping their overstuffed shopping bags across the floor. Shadow quickly changed the channel to CSI: Miami during the commotion.

“Shads!” Sonic said as he lugged the shopping bags within view. “Guess what we got!”

“What?”

Sonic pulled out a jar of nuts. “Nuts! And that’s not all!” He reached inside the bag and pulled out another jar of nuts. “More nuts!”

“But wait, there’s more,” Knuckles mumbled still on the floor.

Sonic pulled out another jar of nuts. “That’s right, more nuts!”

“Do all of these bags contain nuts?” Shadow asked.

“Yep.”

“Why?”

Sonic snickered. “They’re for the Mind Goblin.”

Shadow said nothing as he stood up and slowly collected the jars of nuts and put them away in the pantry. Sonic watched him his smile growing wider. “I said they’re for the Mind Goblin. Shads? Shadooooooow!”

“You’re going to eat all of these when you sober up,” Shadow shouted from the kitchen.

“Mind gobbling deez nuts?” Knuckles said.

“Knuckles!” Sonic exclaimed. “You ruined the joke!”

Chapter 45: The Door

“You arrive at the top of the tower,” Silver said. “Only one door stands between you and Frank’s murderer now, but it’s locked.”

“I want to see anything weird about this door,” Vector said.

“Like what?”

“I dunno, weird.”

Silver sighed. “Roll an investigation check.”

“Five.”

“It looks like an ordinary door,” Silver said. “And it is. I promise; it’s just locked.”

“A likely story,” Vector said unconvinced. “I want to check for traps.”

“Have you forgotten the royal army is climbing up the stairs to get to you?”

“Wait!” Sonic said. “Why’s the royal army after us?”

“Because we accidentally killed the royal advisor,” Shadow answered.

“What!? Why?”

“Because we thought he killed Frank,” Vector said. “But the real murderer is behind this door.”

“Who’s Frank?”

“Frank was my true love,” Amy said, swooning. “Cut down in his prime!”

“He was ninety-eight,” Silver mumbled.

“Man, I missed a lot last session,” Sonic said.

“The army is almost up the stairs.”

“I’m just gonna break down the door,” Sonic said. “I should have enough strength for that.”

“Yes, you easily break down the door. Now roll a wisdom saving throw.”

“Normal door my tail,” Vector said before chugging his beer.

Chapter 46: Empanada Tragedy

---

“Silver, hurry up!” Shadow called. “We’re already late.”

Silver ran around the corner, carrying a stack of tupperware. “Hold on! I’m coming.” He tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and fell, spilling the tupperware contents everywhere. “No! My empanadas! Why? Gaia? Why?”

“Stop shouting! Just go to the store and get more.”

“But I made these empanadas with my hands, Shadow. My hands!”

“I’ll make more,” Sonic said.

Shadow grabbed him before he ran off. “No.”

Sonic flailed in his grasp, but Shadow held firm. “Aww, come on! It’ll only take five minutes max.”

“Yeah, five minutes to burn down the house.”

“You still mad about that?”

“You guys don’t understand,” Silver said. “The sweet potatoes I used to make the empanadas, I got them from my home. In the future. Do you get it now? These sweet potatoes won’t exist for two hundred years!”

“Out of all the things to bring from the future,” Sonic said, “you brought sweet potatoes?”

“They’re really good sweet potatoes.” He curled up into a ball. “Just leave me. Tell everyone I died.”

“You can’t fake your death to escape your problems,” Shadow said, rolling Silver like a boulder. “Believe me. I tried.”