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“There’s no way you’re wearing that shit to the party”
Shauna turned around to see Tai entering her room “What’s wrong with it?”
“I could actually list everything that’s wrong and make you feel bad about it,” Tai said, looking through Shauna’s wardrobe “or I could just tell you to wear this”
She took off a velvety red dress from the hanger and spread it on the bed, Shauna sighed and started to take off her flannel.
“I think it’s better if I just don’t go. What’s the point anyway?”
Tai frowned “The doctor said it would be good to put yourself out there again”
Shauna put the dress on“I wasn’t even “out there” in the first place”
Tai sighed “Shauna, c’mon, just try for one night, ok. I think I could sneak you in my mom’s tanning bed if you’d like”
Shauna laughed “No, thanks, I’d rather not get electrocuted” She grabbed a jean jacket, then faltered “ I could skip this one and go to the next party, maybe I'm not ready yet”
Tai grabbed her by the shoulders, guiding her to the door “Don’t worry, I will be there with you”
The car ride to Randy’s house wasn’t awkward per se. But Shauna could tell that Tai was trying to fill in the spaces in the conversation so it wouldn’t veer off into awkward territory.
“Has anyone caught your attention?” She asked
Shauna fiddled with the ends of her hair “Jackie” Tai turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed “Jackie Taylor, the captain of the soccer team?”
“Jackie? She’s a total airhead” Tai’s hands tightened around the wheel “It’s a mystery how Coach Martinez thought she’d made a good captain”
“You don’t think she’s good at soccer?”
“No, she is, it’s just” Tai sighed “there were more apt people for the job, that’s all”
In Shauna’s hurry to change the topic she looked out the window and asked “Couldn’t we have walked there?It's like fifteen minutes away”
“I doubt I could walk for fifteen minutes in these” Tai answered, signaling to her heeled boots.
“We could take a shortcut through Bachelorette’s Grove” Shauna shot back “That only makes it around ten”
Tai scoffed “That place is creepy as hell, I'm not going there, and certainly not at night”
“I think it’s peaceful” Shauna said “Sometimes I go there, tend to their graves”
In all truth, Shauna had spent almost all of her free time on Bachelorette’s Grove, a graveyard filled with unmarried women from a hundred years ago, she would write in her journal, or work on a short story to submit to the literary magazine, most of the time Shauna would talk to the tombs. Especially to one in particular.
It was located in the center of the graveyard, it was more a monument than a tomb if Shauna was being honest. It was a high pillar with the dead girl’s name barely visible in the center. Atop it was the sculpture of a girl.
“Here, take this” Shauna had put her mother’s rosary at the base of the sculpture “It was my mother’s. I’m not really that religious but I guess that given the time period you lived you would’ve been, so”
The girl from the tomb did not speak back, obviously, but Shauna thought that if she tried hard enough she could see how the girl would be smiling at her, her warm eyes boring into her”
Shauna snapped back from the memory of Tai parking the car on the driveway.
“Don’t worry” She took Shauna’s hand “Just stay by my side”
Tai guided her to a ginger and a blonde girl hanging out by a case of beers. Nat and Van if Shauna wasn’t mistaken. Shauna shook her arm
“Maybe it would be better if I go on my own for a bit, try to make my own friends and stuff”
“Are you sure?” Tai asked
Shauna nodded, and Tai reluctantly left her side. Once she was alone Shauna wandered toward a group of people hanging by a truck. Jackie Taylor among them.
They had been friends before Shauna and her mom moved away after her parent’s divorce, they were inseparable. Shauna didn’t know if Jackie still thought about her now and then, if she even recognized her name when people started mentioning it at the start of the year.
“Yo, sexy lady!” Shauna turned around to see Randy standing right behind her.
She tried to hide her scowl “Hey”
“So you’re new here?” Randy asked, smirking
Shauna scoffed “ I grew up here but then I moved away” Randy’s smile widened, Oh she couldn’t stand him “But then I moved back here with my dad and his wife when my mom was axe-murdered”
Randy gulped “Do you wanna come with me to my van?”
Shauna sighed and was about to tell him off when she was interrupted.
“Get the fuck away from her Randy!”
Shauna turned to see Jackie, some other girl standing at her side. Randy scurried off.
“Thanks,” Shauna said
“It’s no biggie” Jackie answered “Are you ok, are you here with somebody else?”
“Oh I’m fine, and Tai is here with me, so”
She gestured to where Tai, Nat, and Van were chatting a few feet away. Jackie turned to look at the three of them, her eyebrows furrowed.
Jackie kept staring at Tai, Shauna gulped “I’m Shauna”
Jackie turned to look back at her, a smile on her face “Oh, I know, I remember you. I haven’t seen you around lately”
“I 'm considering trying out for the soccer team, so you might start to see me more”
Jackie smiled “That’s great, we definitely should hang out more” She turned to the girl standing beside her, gesturing to the cup in her hands “Mari, can I have some of that?”
“Sure,” Mari said, she looked at Shauna “ Do you want some too?”
Shauna shook her head “No, thanks”
Mari laughed “Right, why would I assume you have fun?”
Shauna scowled, and before she could think about it, she snatched the cup out of Mari’s hands and took a sip.
It didn’t take long for Shauna to start getting dizzy, she gulped and looked around to where Tai was standing, she winced when the movement turned too sudden.
Jackie took the cup from her “What’s in this?”
She thought she could see Mari shrug, but she didn’t stay around for long to verify.
Shauna looked at where Tai was a few minutes ago, thinking she couldn’t have wandered out far. She kept looking around for a while and there was still no trace of Tai. Fuck
“Hey, are you alright?”
For a second she thought it was Jackie, then she looked again, it was a blonde blue-eyed guy.
“Yeah, who are you?”
The guy chuckled “I’m Jeff” He grabbed her by the elbow “C’mon, let’s get you inside”
Shauna reasoned that she barely had the strength to try to resist, so she didn’t.
She was struggling to keep up with Jeff’s pace, tripping, Jeff just dragged her by the elbow.
“What’s your name?”
Shauna cleared her throat “It’s Shauna”
“You don’t seem like the type to be at this kind of party”He replied
She gave her best attempt at a shrug “I don’t”
“Yeah, I get it, it’s a bit loud” his hand trailed from her elbow to her forearm “What stuff do you like, books? Maybe you can show me sometime”
Jeff shut the door of the room they had just entered “Randy is my best friend, he won’t mind us being here”
Shauna nodded, sitting on the bed, her head was spinning, it had been spinning since she drank that stuff, and she couldn’t breathe. She tried to take a deep breath in and just gagged instead.
She barely made it to the trashcan on time, hot bile rising in her throat. She was vaguely aware of Jeff holding her hair back. After she was done throwing up she wiped her mouth and made her way to the bed again.
“I miss her,” She said finally
“Who?” Jeff asked,
Jackie? No, not Jackie “My mom” she replied “Whenever I got sick she’d make a fuzz and take good care of me, she was a nurse so she was good at it”
Jeff nodded, but Shauna was too busy thinking about her mom to think about that right now.
Jeff put his hand on her thigh “I can take good care of you too”
It didn’t register at first, it was not until his hand kept inching higher and higher that it finally hit Shauna.
She pushed herself off the bed, getting to the door as fast as her legs allowed. Jeff’s protest got cut off by Shauna shutting the door, she didn’t stick around for much though, fearful that he would chase after her.
Maybe she should’ve gone looking for Tai, or hell, even Jackie, but she was so tired, because of what she drank, because of Jeff, and Randy, and Jackie and her little sidekick. If Shauna’s being honest, the last good rest she had was on her mother’s lap. So she goes to the closest thing, the cemetery.
It took her a lot more than it should’ve, and she almost got run over a couple of times but finally, she reached the gates of Bachelorette’s Grove. She stumbled through the grass until the monument came into view.
When she reached it she didn’t sit at its feet like she used to. Instead, she looked at the girl’s eyes, or the statue’s eyes. Who was she? The only hint Shauna had was the barely visible ATTHE embedded on the gravestone, but she knew that it didn’t really begin to cover it, she had died young, was it from some sort of illness? Or an assault? Did she get into a depression so deep that she never got out of her bed?
No matter what had happened, she was still here, six feet underground, worms making her corpse their home. She was still here, resting without a worry in the world. Same as Shauna’s mom.
Shauna leaned closer to the monument, cradling the statue’s cheek, she momentarily eyed the rosary that was resting next to it.
“I wish I was with you”
Right then it started to rain, but nothing happened after that. It wasn’t like Shauna was waiting for the girl to give her some kind of response, still, she sighed and then walked home.
The rain got worse and worse, lighting and storms soon joining it. When Shauna got home the lights were off. Her dad probably went to sleep right after she and Tai left the house, did he even know where they were going?
Shauna opened the bathroom door. Twisted the tap and shoved her hands in the cold water. It was good that Tai’s mom wasn’t up too, the effects from the drink still hadn’t worn off and Shauna had a few ideas of what she would’ve had to say about it.
She brought her hands to her face, What would Tai have to say about it? Did she bother to try to look for Shauna once she realized she was gone? Did she even know Shauna had left the party?
So fucking much for Don’t worry, I will be there with you .
Shauna grabbed the soap dish on the counter and threw it at the mirror, watching her reflection shatter.
Shauna opened her eyes, sitting on a bench.
The robe’s fabric felt a bit itchy on her skin, but looking down at it, she decided it was gorgeous enough that she didn’t care. Her hair was longer too, styled in waves that reached down to her waist. Did Shauna sleep long enough for her hair to grow to that state?
She looked around the clearing, then at her immediate surroundings. Despite the bench being wide enough to accommodate multiple people, she was the only one sitting there.
Once Shauna had gotten accustomed to the sight in front of her she started to notice the smell. If she only had her nose to go by she wouldn’t be able to tell apart all of the different scents, cooked meat, adorned with herbs, the distinct smell of bread, and a citrusy odor that was being caused by the various plates of fruits sitting on the table.
She felt her mouth water, as well as the hollow in her stomach; however when she reached out a hand to grab the pomegranate her arm got stuck before she could raise it all the way.
She tried again and again, each time more aware of the fact that the last time she ate was eight hours ago. The fruit's smell got stronger and stronger, while Shauna swallowed.
She didn’t notice how much time had passed, by the end of it she had convinced herself that she must’ve never eaten any piece of food in her life and only now she was starting to notice. She tried to raise her arm again, intending to knock the plate over when a hand closed around her wrist.
Shauna looked up to find the graveyard girl smiling at her, almost ethereal in her white gown and charming smile. She freed Shauna’s wrist, going instead for the plate of fruit, she stopped herself at the last moment looking back at Shauna with an arched brow. Shauna looked down at the fruit and nodded towards the pomegranate, and so the girl’s arm started moving again.
Finally, the pomegranate was retrieved and put on the girl’s plate .Shauna scowled as the girl used a knife to split it in half, then she sighed and looked at the fruit plate again.
The pomegranate was now inches away from her face,held by the girl's hand. Shauna looked up at the girl with a serene expression, in turn, she nodded towards Shauna, holding the fruit closer.
Eat
Shauna leaned down to take a bite.
“Shauna” Tai said tenderly while ripping the covers of her bed “Get up, mom wants to talk to you”
Shauna opened her eyes and sat up. Her throat felt dry when she spoke “What time is it?”
“Nine” Tai answered “Mom got up and went to the bathroom, she screamed so loud I'm surprised it didn't wake you up”
Shauna scratched her scalp, in the bathroom, what was in the bathroom?
Oh right
Shauna sat up further “You had fun last night? I didn’t get to see you a lot”
Tai sighed “Shauna, please just come downstairs, I don’t want you to make it worse”
She gulped and finally stood up.
Her dad and Sarah were eating breakfast in the kitchen, and as soon as Sarah’s eyes met Shauna's, something brightened in them. Once Shauna and Tai had reached the kitchen Sarah motioned for Tai to sit down where a plate with eggs was already waiting for her, Shauna stood next to her.
“Shauna,” Sarah said, “Care to explain why the bathroom mirror is broken?”
She grimaced and ultimately decided to shrug
“Oh, so you’ve got nothing to say about it?” Sarah said, shrugging
Shauna gritted her teeth “It was an accident, I tripped and the soap dish collided with the mirror”
Her father looked up from his cereal “Why would you throw the soap dish to the mirror?”
“I didn’t!” She replied “I just said it was an accident”
“I told you we should’ve made an appointment with the psychiatrist for her ages ago,” Sarah said “She’s not mentally stable!”
“Stop calling her crazy Mom” Tai interrupted
“No one here is calling Shauna crazy”
Shauna repressed the urge to bite back at her and instead dug her nails into the wooden table, vaguely registering Tai saying “You just did”
“Just go clean up the bathroom honey,” Her father said
Two hours later, Shauna was driving in Tai’s passenger seat again.
“I’m really sorry about that” She said “She shouldn’t have talked to you like that”
“And yet she still did” Shauna said
Tai sighed “At what time do you get off your shift?”
“Five” Shauna leaned to look out the window “Can you take me to the store later? Your mom ran out of yogurt”
“We could’ve gone earlier” Tai said
“I ran out of money, and today I get my paycheck”
Tai sighed again “Sure, Shipman”
It wasn’t long before they pulled over in front of the butchery. Shauna murmured “Good luck with practice” as she got out of the car.
Tai was pretty weirded out when Shauna first told her that she had gotten a job at a butchery, even more so when she told her she liked it a lot.The thing is there wasn’t a lot of opportunities for her to actually express her feelings, Sarah had always thought everything she ever said was a lie, her father and basically everyone on school had stopped listening to her before she even opened her mouth and Tai, as much as she pretended to care, never really tried to do anything to make her feel better apart from a few soothing words.This led Shauna to discover that bringing down a knife on a cow’s leg was probably more effective than a journal.
Unfortunately, that day was Shauna’s turn to tend the till.
It wasn’t until there was an hour left of her shift that something of note happened.Shauna was reclined on her elbow, a strand of her hair being chewed up by her mouth, when Jackie Taylor opened the door, cheeks pink, hair shiny and overall as gorgeous as ever.
Of course
Shauna doesn’t remember a time where Jackie didn’t look stunning, even back when they were six, there wasn’t a hair out of her pigtails or a stain in her pretty pink dress, although she reasoned part of it was because Jackie was never allowed to do much besides play with her dolls while Shauna spent the day doing mud cakes with her mom.
She stared down at her shirt and tried to scrub off the grease stain on it.
Jackie walked towards the counter “Hey! Didn’t know you worked here”
Shauna opened her mouth, letting the hair between her teeth fall. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I was on the look for a pretty lady” She answered with a goofy grin
Shauna willed away the blush on her cheeks “Really?”
“Yeah, her name is “ Two pounds of meatloaf” I don’t know if you’ve seen her”
The blush deepened on Shauna’s cheeks while her shoulders dropped “Sure, I’ll get it to you in a second”
She reached for the backdoor, however the door opened before she laid a hand on the handle and Ben Scott slithered past her.
“Shauna, i was just checking you still haven’t fucked everything up”
She suppressed an eye roll “Everything is fine, you can go back to whatever the hell you were doing” Which is probably nothing
“I’ll just hang around here for a sec if you don’t mind”
Shauna had no choice but to step through the door and get the meatloaf as fast as she could.By the time she finished putting the pack of meat in a bag she was able to her Ben conversing with Jackie
“Shippy here never goes out, so I can always ask her to cover up a shift, I don’t think she has any friends to be-”
He was interrupted by Shauna stepping through the door.She put the bag of meat on the counter and turned to him.
“Are you finished?”
He smiled and clapped his hands “Sure, do what you gotta do”
“Sorry about him” She said to Jackie once the door had shut
Jackie shrugged “It’s ok, I don’t mind talking to people”
Shauna just nodded “It’s two dollars”
Jackie pulled out a bill “I’m hosting a party in two weeks, to celebrate the start of soccer season.You should come”
Shauna bit her lip, Did Jackie really think she had no friends? That she needed her help? Not that Shauna was going to turn down an opportunity to hang out with Jackie, but the last thing she needed is another Taissa Turner.
“I’ll think about it”
Jackie grinned “See you later Shipman”
Despite it not turning out as good as it could’ve, the encounter still left a smile on Shauna’s face.
“Taissa, guess what? We know you’ve made a great effort on soccer, so your father and I decided to order cheese pizza for you!” Said Sarah, while Shauna and Tai entered the house.
Tai smiled “Thanks mom” She skidded to a stop once they reached the kitchen “You only ordered one?”
“Well, yes. One is more than enough for all of us”
“I can’t eat that” Shauna stated, flatly “Lactose intolerance and all that”
Sarah cocked her head “Well, you can just pick the cheese off” she turned to Tai “Honey, you should go get ready, we’re going to the cinema”
Tai simply nodded and went up the stairs.
Two hours later, Shauna was sitting on the couch, watching “Day of the Dead,” when, with no warning, the window shook. A moment later, it shook with more force.At this, Shauna stood up and walked towards the window. She was about five feet away from it when it shattered, a goo-covered creature walking through its remains.
Shauna instinctively ran to the front door, cursing herself while she undid the lock, which made it easier for the creature to catch up with her. Once she was out of the house she sprinted through the yard, vaguely aware of the calls for help escaping her throat. The creature must’ve sped up, because just as Shauna was about to hop the white picket fence she got tackled to the ground.
She screamed again, trying to turn around so the grass wouldn’t smother her, she reached to the back of the creature’s head and yanked on its hair (?), this provoked the creature to open it’s mouth and spill the contents of its stomach on Shauna. Shauna squealed, kicking the creature, once it partially moved away she took the opportunity to run back to the house.
She made peace with the fact that the neighbours weren’t gonna help, if their indifference to her screams were anything to go by. Shauna was probably just going to have to distract the creature until Taissa and the others came home.
She grabbed a deer porcelain figurine from the shelf, god, Sarah was gonna give her so much shit about this . She chucked the figurine to the creature’s directions, then grabbed another figurine and did the same. It took her four figurines to get the creature to hide away into the living room.
She sighed, then looked down at her shirt, covered in greenish goo.The mere smell of it made her throat gag, but she couldn’t go upstairs to change. First of all, the creature would probably follow her up, making a repeat of the last five minutes and secondly, she needed the evidence that the past five minutes had occurred if she ever hoped that Sarah wouldn’t go batshit crazy over her figurine.She brought her hand down to her shirt, feeling the goo with her fingertips.It was disgusting, obviously she couldn’t figured out exactly what it was exactly(mucus? dirt? bile?). She opened her mouth and brought her fingers up to it, it was at that moment that the starting notes of “Bigmouth strikes again” started to sound in the living room.
Shauna frowned, and without reason, ventured into the living room.She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she wasn’t expecting to see the creature hovering over her tape recorder.The creature looked up at the sound of Shauna’s footsteps,it didn’t seem to prepare for attack, in fact it seemed eerily calm, so Shauna stepped closer.She got a good look at the creature’s eyes, deep brown, that seemed to bore into her own.The second glimpse of humanity she found in it.
Shauna looked away “That’s the Smiths” she pointed at the tape recorder “Jim Morrisey”
The creature took a look back at the tape recorder, then looked back at Shauna.
“Do you like it?”
The creature seemed to consider it for a bit, then nodded.
The creature opened its hand, it was too stained to be instantly recognizable, but it was her mother’s rosary.
Shauna’s brows furrowed “You’re her?”
The girl nodded again
Without meaning to, Shauna imitated its nod, she raised her hand up and directed it backwards “Do you want to come upstairs?”
The girl nodded, and extended her hand towards Shauna for her to hold,surprisingly Shauna did without hesitation.
The girl didn’t let go of her hand once Shauna opened her room’s door. However, it stayed in her place instead of following her into the bathroom she shared with Tai.She looked around the room, Shauna’s bed, the rack where her clothes hanged, the drawer filled with nail polish, books and little knick knacks Shauna had collected over the years; the “Wuthering Heights” poster on her wall and the “The cure” poster right beside it.
“This is my room” She said, pointlessly, then she pulled at her hand again “C’mon, you can look at it more once you don’t stink”
This time the girl did follow Shauna into the bathroom.Shauna immediately set herself on getting the shower ready, she turned around once she heard a disgusted noise and was met with the sight of the liquid soap dispenser being put inside her mouth.
“Stop” She said,lowering the dispenser, then she grabbed the girl’s wrist, guiding her to the showers “That’s not edible, just come here and I’ll help you shower”
The girl’s eyes bugged out once she noticed the water falling from the shower head.
Shauna smiled “It’s magic” She said “Sewers am I right?”
The girl looked at Shauna’s eyes, in turn Shauna tightened her grip against the girl’s wrist and stepped into the shower, feeling the drops of water fall over her.The girl stepped in and instantly the water on the floor started to turn brown.
Shauna’s hands traveled from the girl’s wrist to her face, rubbing it in a way that she hoped would ease the dirt off.She had to scrape it off with her nails at some parts, but after a while Shauna was able to see the creature’s face.
Then her hand went to its hair, it reached about the girl’s waist and Shauna instantly knew that untangling it was gonna be a bitch.She took a good part of the dirt off, however the twigs were the hard part, for the girl kept pulling away from Shauna’s grasp.
She pulled her back into her space “Just try to stay still, I will try to not hurt you”
After that the girl didn’t flinch away from her, just winced when Shauna accidentally pulled too hard.
Once the both of them had dried enough she took the creature’s hand and guided her out of the bathroom “You need to change in some new clothes” She unconsciously motioned to her pajamas and grimaced once her hand hit the fabric
“Yuck!” Shauna said, looking down at her pajamas “Your throw-up is so gross, what is your problem?”
The girl only stared.
Shauna scoffed “What? Can’t you talk or something?”
The girl opened her mouth, showing the severed tongue that lay inside, then closed it again.
“Ok, so you can’t talk, still need to change, c’mon”
Shauna kneeled in front of her nightstand and pulled at the bottom drawer, retrieving a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt.
She dumped the clothes on top of her bed “Can you come closer?”
The girl came towards Shauna, towering over her. Shauna extended her hand “I’m gonna get you out of these clothes, ok?”
She was already turning the girl around before she had given her consent, starting to undo her dress.
To be fair, it was very kind of Shauna to call a dress what was actually rags, and she doubted that even in its prime it would be easy to take off, so you really couldn’t blame Shauna when she started ripping the dress apart when she got too frustrated to properly take it off.
“I don’t know how you lasted so much time with that on”
The girl hummed
“By the way, how much time did you spend down there? That's a Victorian graveyard right? So like a hundred years”
The girl grunted,a grimace noticeable on her face.
Shauna sighed “You don’t know what year is?”
The girl shook her head
“1989”
The girl’s eyebrows furrowed
“Yeah, lots of stuff has happened, at least things still suck” She was finally able to get all of the clothes off the girl, examining her bare body and the dirt that still clung to it, Shauna cussed herself for giving her a shower before getting the girl’s clothes off.
She grabbed the t-shirt from the bed, then shoved it down the girl’s head. The girl tried to put her arms through the sleeves herself, but the lack of a hand made passing the left arm through pretty difficult.
Shauna huffed and helped her with the sleeve, she also helped her put on the boxers while she was at it.
Once the girl was dressed Shauna sat her down on the bed, the girl stared at her with a small smile on her face and put her hands on Shauna’s hips, trying to pull her down with her.
Shauna got away from her grip, pinning the girl’s wrists to her sides “I still need to change”
The girl’s eyes drifted down to her pajamas, then grunted
“Oh don’t pretend to be disgusted, this is literally all your fault”
Shauna got out of her pajamas, kicking them under the bed.Then she headed for the bathroom, even if she was still damp from earlier she needed to rinse off everything that had happened that night, and most importantly she needed to rinse off the feeling of the goo on her skin.
A few minutes later she emerged with a towel, only to find the girl standing next to her drawer, inspecting the photos that were taped to the mirror.
Shauna walked up to her and pointed at a photo with her finger “That was from an open mic I did a year ago, my friend Bethany took it”
The girl nodded, then pointed at another photo, this one had Shauna standing a few feet away from an avenue, she was wearing red lipstick and had a black velvet dress on, her arm was wrapped around another girl.
“That’s from the time I accompanied my friend and her boyfriend to a concert”
The girl kept staring at the photo for a second more, then pointed to the final picture.
“That’s” Shauna wrapped a finger around her hair, tugging on it “that’s me and my mom”
The girl smiled and pointed at the photo, at Shauna’s mom in specific, she gave a grunt and a smile
“Yeah, she was cool”
At this the girl raised an eyebrow
“Cool, it means you think they’re a nice person”
The girl pointed again and grunted, both of her eyebrows raised this time.
Shauna sighed “She was murdered”
She turned around, putting a shirt that was not her size over her head and vaguely registering the girl’s footsteps. A rotten hand caught hers, for a moment Shauna squeezed it, then she came back to herself.
“It’s fine, it was a really long time ago”
It happened two years ago, Debbie and Shauna Shipman were sitting on their living room floor, playing Scrabble. Her mom had come early from the hospital to celebrate the fact that Shauna had won a local writing competition. She had made her favorite food and let her choose what to do after.
Maybe if Shauna had asked to go to the movies, or for ice cream, or if she had never won the stupid competition then nothing would’ve happened.
But as it was, it hadn’t been long after they started playing that something forcefully hit the door, neither of them moved, the door was struck again. It wasn’t until the axe had broken into the wood that Shauna’s mom sprang into action and grabbed Shauna’s shoulders, pushing her towards the stairs.
She thought that her mom was behind her, she could still recall a second pair of footsteps behind her. But of course Shauna knew that she recalled wrong, because her mother had stayed downstairs and faced the intruder while Shauna hid inside her bedroom’s closet.
The memories that consisted of biting her hands while she listened to the sound of the axe making contact with flesh were real though.
“I’m fine” Shauna said, she pulled down the duvet of her bed and lied down.
She heard the front door open, it only took a few seconds before she heard Sarah scream her name.
Shauna tossed the covers aside, murmuring a “Stay here” before leaving the room.
When she came downstairs Sarah was clutching a broken figurine in her hands “What is your excuse for this?” she asked
Shauna gulped “There was a burglar, he stormed in and broke a bunch of stuff, but i managed to fight him off”
Sarah scoffed “Do you think I’m a child? It’s clear that you’re responsible for this. I swear Shauna, if you don’t start controlling your violent urges soon I’m gonna have to take action”
“Shauna is not violent” said Tai
“I just tell it like I see it”
An hour and a half later, after Shauna had cleaned off all the wreckage, she went back to her room.
She pulled herself under the covers, barely sparing a glance at the girl “Goodnight”
The weight of the bed shifted, soon enough the girl’s body joined her under the covers.
“What do you think you’re doing! just sleep on the floor, I’m sure it's not that hard!”
The girl grunted, but she hopped off the bed nonetheless.Shauna didn’t get her head out of the covers to see where she ended up.
For a few precious seconds Shauna was convinced that what had happened last night had just been some bizzare dream, then she opened her eyes to see the girl lying at the foot of the bed, curled in on herself.
She stepped out of the bed, and before her feet had made a thump on the floor the girl was standing up, she took a moment to smile at Shauna , then she walked to her closet.
She stifled a yawn as she watched the girl come back, now carrying a bundle of clothes.
“What are you- ugh, you could’ve just laid them in the bed you know” She leaned down to pick up the clothes that the girl had thrust towards her, a pair of black striped pants and a Duran Duran t-shirt.
“You want me to wear this?”
The girl smiled and nodded, then she reached down to Shauna’s hips and tried to raise the hem of her shirt.
She slapped the girl’s hand away “I got it, I thought you’d have enough decorum left to know you can’t just try to remove someone’s clothes”
Shauna raised her shirt over her head and was immediately met with the girl’s soft, brown eyes, which looked like they were about to burst into tears at any second.
“I’m sorry, ok? Maybe just try to be more aware of personal space next time”
The girl nodded while Shauna put on the striped pants. They were Tai’s old pants, so they looked a little awkward on her, but it still looked fine.
“Don’t go out wandering in the house” she said as she laced up her boots “The last thing I need is Sarah asking about you”
She turned to pick a hairbrush from the drawer while the girl sat on the bed, Shauna could see her on the reflection. She was swaying her feet up and down even though she was tall enough for them to reach the floor, her left hand was toying with the ends of her right sleeve and she was looking down at her lap.
She set the hairbrush down, sitting down at the girl’s side.
“Thanks for the clothes”
The girl leaned into her, Shauna tucked the girl’s hair behind her ear, well, the hole where her ear was supposed to go.
She grimaced, then swiped her thumb over the hole. The girl’s hand came up to cover Shauna’s, and she moved their hands from her ear to Shauna’s, caressing the skin with the tip of her fingers.
Shauna turned to look at her “I can’t give you my ear”
The girl frowned, she went to touch her own ear again and grunted.
Shauna sighed “I can’t get you an ear, it’s not like they sell them at the mall; they don’t sell them at the store”
The girl’s shoulders slumped immediately. Shauna stood up from the bed and grabbed her stuffed teddy, the only one that had managed to make it into her adolescence.
“Whenever you miss me just hug the teddy, and whenever I miss you i’ll hug mine “ Said Jackie “It’ll be like we’re hugging each other, we’ll be linked forever”
Shauna thrust the teddy towards the girl, then rested a hand on her shoulder “Take care of it for me ok?,I’ll be back in a couple hours”
The girl smiled at Shauna and hugged the teddy while Shauna put on her backpack and walked out the door.
Tai slammed the car door shut “So what’s with the change of clothes?”
Shauna shrugged “I just felt like dressing up”
Tai nodded “I dig it”
Shauna accompanied Tai to her locker, trying to ignore the handful of people that were staring at her. Were the people here so bored that they found this interesting?
“Hey, could you cover for me tonight? Van invited me to a kegger”
“Sarah is going to a convention to New York today, and I don’t think dad will mind, but sure”
“Well, thanks either way”
“Hey Shipman!”
Shauna turned around to see Jackie, dolled up in a jean skirt and a purple top, strutting up to where Shauna and Tai were standing.
“Can you do me a big one? I forgot to do the Euro homework yesterday and I was wondering if you could lend me yours”
It should’ve been embarrassing how fast Shauna pulled her Euro notebook out of her bag, but the feelings that Jackie’s smile invoked in Shauna were certainly not shame.
“Thanks, I’ll owe you forever” Jackie’s beaming smile transformed into a grin when her gaze shifted from Shauna to Tai “See you at practice Tai”
Tai huffed “Sure Taylor”
Jackie started to walk off, after a second she turned around to glance at Shauna.
“You look pretty badass today, by the way” She pressed her pointer and middle fingers to her forehead, making a salute as she went away.
“I do not know what you see in her”
She turned to look at Tai “And I do not know why you don’t like her”
Tai sucked in air through her teeth “Well she’s just, she always gets everything”
Shauna didn’t quite know how to respond to that.
Shauna’s boot crunched on a leaf on her way home, she smiled at the sound and kept walking. It was hard to admire the view in Wiskayok when said view consisted of a bunch of suburban houses, nevertheless, Shauna was decided on enjoying the walk.
Tai had been taken aback when Shauna had said that she would walk home instead of waiting on the bleachers for Tai until practice was over; she quickly recovered once practice started though.
She slipped in through the door and went up the stairs, making her best to not alert her dad or Sarah about her presence. She opened the door and was met with the girl sitting on Shauna’s bed, walkman in her head and headphones over her head ( God knows how she managed to work that out) .She couldn’t help but smile at the girl as she sat down on the bed “What are you listening to?” She said as she leaned into the right side of the headphone.She did her best to listen in, momentarily taking the walkman to turn the volume all the way up.
Oh, Bela
Bela’s undead
Oh, Bela
Bela’s undead
Shauna hummed along to the song, a few seconds later the girl’s grunts joined in.
“Do you like this? Because i can show you more of their stuff”
The girl was about to move when there was a rapid, sharp knock on the door.Before she fully registered her actions Shauna got up the bed, dragging the girl behind her and tossing the walkman into the bed.
“Hide here” She whispered to the girl as she shoved her into the closet.
As she assumed, it was Sarah who was standing behind the door, wearing that forced smile to suppress her anger.
“Shauna, what do you have to say for yourself?”
She bit the inside of her cheek “I’m really sorry about yesterday’s mess Sarah”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it” Sarah stepped inside the room, pushing Shauna back in the process “I’m talking about the disgusting worm that made its way into my cheese and yogurt this morning”
Shauna pressed her lips together until they were only a thin line, she spared a millisecond to briefly glance at the place where the girl was hidden. What is it with her and not listening to what I say?
Of course, Sarah took this moment to continue her prosecution “I would ask what’s gotten into you lately, but you and I both know that you have aleays been this way”
Shauna scowled “What way?”
“Antisocial, violent, destructive. I really don’t understand Shauna, you’ve been given this wonderful opportunity to move to a new city and start a new life and yet you remain stuck”
Shauna’s hands turned into fists “I had to move because my mother was murdered”
Sarah scoffed “That was so long ago, everyone has moved on” She pointed a finger at Shauna “But I know what you are doing, you enjoyed the attention, so you’re trying to pull us back in with your violent attitude”
She pushed in closer on Shauna “The tantrum ends right now Shauna, I called the director of St Helen’s hospital and you are being admitted into the mental health ward”
Her heart sank to her stomach “You’re joking”
“I’m not, in three days time you’ll be an inpatient. For all of my efforts I could not control you, but who knows? Maybe the doctors there will be able to fix whatever is wrong with you”
Shauna had no idea what to respond, however she didn’t have to, because the girl stepped out of the closet and beat Sarah with an old award in the head until she fell to the ground.
What the fuck?
At least there wasn’t a rug to soak up the blood, washing that stain out would be a headache.
The girl dropped the award (The one for the competition she had won before her mother was killed, she realized now) and grabbed a pair of scissors sitting on the drawer. She knelt down and sniped Sarah’s right ear.
Shauna must’ve looked terrified, because after the girl looked up at her she stood up and pushed Shauna between her arms, cradling her head with her hand.She leaned into it,wrapping her arms around the girl and burying her face into her hair.
A few seconds passed until Shauna pulled out from the embrace “It’s fine, she was gonna send me to a psych ward”
The girl nodded, there was something in her eyes Shauna didn’t recognize.They didn’t harden per se, but they didn’t carry the same type of warmth Shauna was becoming accustomed to.
Solemn, the girl looked solemn.
She lifted her hand, the ear clutched between her fingers now painfully noticeable.
Well, when in Rome…
Shauna grunted “Don’t let her fall”
The girl adjusted her grip on Sarah’s neck, she briefly looked backwards to make sure she wouldn’t trip on the uneven ground.
They were almost to the girl’s grave, Shauna didn’t even know how they managed to get her out the backdoor and into the graveyard, but she was not gonna question her luck.
She spared a sideway glance at her watch “Hurry, there’s only ten minutes until Tai is done with soccer practice”
The girl grunted, but she did go faster. After what felt like an eternity they arrived at the girl’s .grave.Shauna was careful not to slip into the hole as they let Sarah down.She let a long exhale once the body was laid down, bending on her knees.The girl grabbed the shovel they had grabbed from the backyard and started to cover the corpse with dirt.
Once she catched her breath she stood up to look at the body, she was vaguely aware of the girl coming up behind her, nodding to herself.They were done.
The girl’s right arm went around Shauna’s shoulders, guiding her the way home.
Shauna sighed, picking up the needle “We’re missing like half the supplies to do this” She looked at the girl, who just stared back at her “I’ll be careful, ok? Just lie down in my lap”
After a few tries she finally succeeded in inserting the thread through the needle, she grabbed the ear from the nightstand and positioned it against the girl's head.
The needle didn’t go through without a struggle, but Shauna was already expecting it, she inhaled sharply, trying to recall how her mom closed the stitches she made on Shauna’s hand the time she cut herself a little too deeply.
“Make the four shape” she mumbled to herself “then pull the second string”
There was nothing notoriously wrong about the knot, so she cut the excess and worked on the second stitch.The girl didn’t move until Shauna was done, she would’ve said it was like working on a corpse if not for the obvious.
“Ok, you can sit up”
The girl did as she was told, her hand immediately went to her ear, snapping her fingers. After a while, her hand dropped into her lap, she did that thing where her shoulders slumped and she pouted.
“Hey, look at me” Shauna said
If for some reason Shauna couldn’t tell, the girl's sadness was plainly obvious in her eyes.
“I’m sure there’s something else we can do to fix it”
There had to be a way to fix it, Shauna looked around her room, trying to remember her biology classes for any clue. Her eyes landed on a pile of books and right there, between Stoker and Stevenson, she found the answer.
“Just lie down in here,” Shauna said, setting the girl down on the plastic bed “It will be ok”
The girl pursed her lips, nonetheless, she lay down on the bed.
“I’ll just close this for a second” Shauna closed the tanning bed. Her hand hovered over the knob, either this worked and the girl got what she wanted, or Shauna was wrong and the girl died again.
She shook her head, the girl had trusted Shauna with this, it had to work. She pushed the knob into the “Medium” section and closed her eyes.
The bed hummed for a couple of seconds, then she saw the first spark, a few more started to appear, the whirring sound of the machine becoming more apparent. Then finally, lighting.
The tanning bed opened from the inside, Shauna immediately rushed towards it.The girl swung her legs down.
“So, can you hear me?” Shauna said
The girl didn’t react, so Shauna moved closer and screamed into the girl’s ear, “I said, can you hear me? “
The girl groaned, covering her ear with her hand.
A laugh escaped from Shauna’s lips “We fucking did it!” She grabbed the girl’s arm and clung to it.
The girl smiled, wrapping her arms around Shauna’s waist. Shauna leaned in, now whispering in her ear “It turned out ok, you’re ok”
They should be fine for at least a couple of days, Sarah was supposed to come home in two days' time, and they had time to cover their tracks.
It’s with this in mind that Shauna walked into the kitchen and sat down next to her father, who was looking down into his cereal.
Tai turned around from the counter, a plate with eggs and toast in her hand, she blinked when she saw Shauna “Decided to dress up again?”
Shauna fiddled with her flannel, she had layered it over a black dress with lace accents that the girl had handed to her that morning. “You don’t mind, right? It was in a box with a bunch of your old stuff”
Tai sat down, tossing her hair to her shoulder, revealing a small bruise up the side of her neck.
Shauna frowned, interrupting whatever it was that Tai was saying, “What’s that in your neck?”
Tai’s hand reached up her neck “I, I burned myself with the hair straightener”
“You’ve never straightened your hair” Shauna shot back
“There’s a first time for everything” She replied “And I gave up pretty soon anyway”
Shauna chewed on her lip but refrained from saying more. Instead, she grabbed a couple of Pop-Tarts and put them in the toaster.
“As I was saying, I like your new look,” Tai said “Half of the school is gonna try to get into your pants by the end of the day” Her eyes snapped to Shauna’s father as soon as she finished talking, probably realizing that she shouldn’t have said that in front of Shauna’s father. Luckily for her, he either didn’t hear or didn’t mind.
“Yeah, thanks”
They were in the middle of Biology class when the idea first occurred to her. It was one of the only classes she shared with Tai, so they were sharing the front row desk of the classroom, with Jeff and Randy on their back.
She hadn’t talked to him since the party, and he was either too much of a coward or had too much pride to try to approach her. Shauna had not forgotten what he had done to her, but fortunately, all of the girl’s chaos was enough to distract her from whatever it was she wanted to ignore.
“She took me to the backseat of her car and we had a real good time” She heard him whisper to Randy. The sound of palms meeting in a high-five followed closely.
Who was he talking about? There were not a lot of girls vying for Jeff Sadecki's affection, so it was a hard guess. Was the girl even real? She was probably just a fantasy that Jeff and his friends could indulge in.
Or the girl could be real, and Jeff had just been lying about her willingness to participate. Shauna sat up straighter in her seat. Was the girl Shauna? Their encounter had been fairly recent, and he had no reason not to talk about it, albeit with a more favorable ending.
Her blood boiled, and she spared a glance at him, which he returned with a smirk. Her gaze briefly wandered to his right hand. She smiled back at him.
Meet me at Greenwood Lake at 5 pm, don’t be late.
S.S.
The bell rang, and Shauna was just finishing some heart drawings on the scrap of paper when Jackie approached them. Despite the note already being hidden underneath the desk Shauna folded it up, just to be sure.
“Tai, hi” Jackie placed her hands on the desk and leaned in, which both Shauna and Tai considered was far too close for comfort.
“Jackie, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I was just checking if tomorrow still works for you” She blinked, taking her hands off the desk “For our tutoring session that is”
Tai’s face abandoned the frown that was present whenever Jackie was present “Yeah, it still works”
Jackie beamed “Ok, cool, then I’ll just-”
At that moment the girl who had been at Jackie’s side during the party, Mari, came into the classroom.
She came up to Jackie’s side, if a little more to the right “Jax, we’re gonna be late for Government” Mari’s eyes landed on Shauna’s lap “What’s that?”
Shauna pulled the note away before Mari could snatch it “None of your business, just something for the lit magazine”
Jackie turned to her “You write for the lit magazine?”
Shauna dropped the note back into her lap, forgetting all about Mari “Yeah, sometimes”
Jackie’s smile brightened “I’ll have to check it out sometime”
Mari tugged on Jackie’s sleeve “ Jax”
“Right, we’ll be late”
Tai waved her hand in Jackie’s direction “Then go”
Jackie nodded and with a final It was nice seeing you she was gone.
Shauna put the note inside her flannel pocket ”You're tutoring her?”
Tai pulled her bag over her shoulder, then grabbed Shauna’s “Why does it surprise you? She’s having a little bit of trouble with Math and I can help”
“I just didn’t think you liked her”
Tai shrugged “She’s awfully persuasive when she wants to be”
“That didn’t answer my question” Shauna replied
“It was not a question Shaun”
Shauna stopped in front of Tai, blocking her path, with a raised eyebrow.
Tai sighed “She’s ok. I think I’m starting to see what made Coach Martinez name her captain”
“Which is?”
“She knows how to inspire people,” Tai looked around “I’ve gotta go, I’ll be late for class”
Shauna just nodded, moving out of Tai’s way. She herself was already late to art class, but it was not like Shauna cared much about the subject either way.
She stayed in the hallway until it was empty, then pulled the note out of her pocket and slipped it into Jeff’s locker.
Shauna pulled at the hair at the back of her neck “I’m really glad you decided to come”
“Well, I had no reason not to”
Shauna hummed, then stopped in her tracks, blocking Jeff’s path in doing so “You know I’ve been thinking about what happened at the party and-”
“Oh it’s ok” Jeff interrupted “You’d be surprised at the amount of girls that get nervous on their first time”
Shauna ground her teeth, then forced her lips to form a smile “I’m so glad you understand” She took Jeff’s hand and started to walk out of the clearing and into the trees “Because the truth is that I wouldn’t mind a do-over”
Jeff smirked “Yeah, that can definitely be arranged”
He leaned in, but Shauna stopped him with a hand on his chest “Not here”
She pulled him deeper into the woods until she spotted the tree with a black ribbon attached to a branch.
“Now we can proceed,” She said loud enough for everyone to hear, then she grabbed Jeff by the arms, first turning him so his back was facing the tree, with all her strength she shoved him until he hit the ground.
The glimmer in Jeff’s eye faded when the girl came out from her hiding place, with an old axe they’d stolen from the neighbor in her hand.
He tried to get up, but Shauna kicked him in the stomach to keep him down. His groan of pain turned into a scream when the axe came down to his right arm.
Shauna kneeled down next to him, picking up the severed hand “As I was saying earlier, I’ve been thinking about what happened at the party and I came to the conclusion that you don’t deserve to have this” She said, turning to face the hand.
Spit hit her cheek, “Fuck you, Shauna”
She wiped the spit from her face “Ugh, you’re so gross, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised”
Shauna turned to look at the girl “Go ahead”
She stood up while the girl walked towards Jeff.
“What are you doing?” He said
The girl brought the axe over her head.
“No, no, no” He screamed “Help, please!”
Shauna had to put her hand over his mouth to muffle his screams while the girl finished the job.
It was half past nine by the time they returned home. They had been dumb enough not to bring a knife, so Shauna had to make do with the axe when it came to disposing of the body.
“I don’t think anyone’s gonna look for him in the middle of the fucking lake, we’ll be fine” Shauna tightened the knot of the stitch “Besides I used gloves when I put him inside the plastic bag, they can’t trace my fingerprints”
She cut the thread and moved to open the tanning bed (They decided it would be easier if they did the whole process in the shack), and the girl moved to lay inside it.
Before she closed the tanning bed Shauna cupped the girl’s cheek, the girl moved to look at Shauna as she had planned.
“Thanks for taking care of it”
The girl did not groan or whine, she simply used her left arm to gesture at her new hand, and then she pointed to Shauna.
Shauna smiled, she moved her hand away from the girl’s cheek and closed the tanning bed, setting it to medium.
Just like the last time, the door opened from the inside once the sparks faded. Unlike last time, Shauna did not rush to the girl’s side, instead, she allowed herself to look.
It wasn’t only the hand that had changed, the girl’s skin had become more smooth, and flesh had knitted itself over places where bone had been visible. If Shauna ignored the girl’s painfully pale complexion, she looked human.
The girl dropped her right hand back to her side, snapping Shauna out of her thoughts. The girl reached Shauna in a couple of strides and engulfed her in a hug.
Shauna didn’t question herself when she wrapped her arms around the girl’s torso. She was far too distracted by the feeling of the girl’s hands running through her hair. Eventually, they came down to cup Shauna’s cheeks.
With a smile on her face, the girl whined, Shauna, pressed their foreheads together.
“You don’t have to thank me, we did it for the both of us”
The girl stroked Shauna’s cheek, then pulled away completely from the hug, taking Shauna’s hand and pulling them back to the house.
The girl opened the door to Shauna’s room, then kneeled down at the foot of Shauna’s bed, hands searching for something under the frame.
Shauna frowned “What are you looking for?”
The girl stood up, holding a small notebook bound in leather.
Shauna's journal.
The girl opened it, nonchalantly flipping the pages, like she wasn’t interested in what was written inside them. Maybe she had already read them.
Shauna snatched the journal out of the girl’s hand “It’s private”
The girl blinked, her brows furrowed. Finally, she nodded and walked past Shauna.
“What are you doing?”
The girl turned around, she pointed at the journal.
Shauna clutched it to her cheeks “You can’t read it”
The girl nodded, she looked around and looked back at Shauna again. She put her thumb and pointer finger from her right hand and placed them on top of her left palm, she moved the pointed fingers across her palm.
Oh.
Shauna looked down at her journal and opened a page at random.
Sometimes I wanna punch him, he doesn’t even care that she’s gone, he barely reacted to seeing me after all these years.
She was his wife, how could he forget-
She ripped her eyes away. It was one of the first pages of the journal, from almost two years ago. It still had been recent, it made sense for Shauna to feel that way.
She sighed, They had just killed a man together, this wasn’t gonna weird the girl out.
Shauna flipped to a blank page, and then handed it to the girl, after a few seconds of looking into her bag she handed her a pen too.
The girl smiled, she sat on Shauna’s bed and placed the journal in her lap. She grabbed the pen with her right hand and began writing.
It only took her about two seconds, she gestured at Shauna, telling her to sit beside her, so she did.
There was only one thing written at the top of the page.
Lottie
Shauna frowned “Lottie?”
The girl nodded.
“That’s your name?”
The girl nodded again.
“Ok, Lottie, are you gonna tell me anything else”
Lottie turned to the diary. What do you want to know?
Shauna shrugged “How old are you? or were, before you died”
“Eighteen”
Shauna frowned, but didn’t reply, Lottie got to writing again.
“You can ask, I will not be mad”
She sighed, then looked Lottie in the eye “How did you die?”
Lottie broke eye contact, staring at the diary.
“I am not completely certain. I was locked away in my room and it was so cold. It might have been in the middle of winter. All I know is that I went to sleep and I neve woke up”
“You died from hypothermia? In your room?”
Lottie nodded
Shauna raised her eyebrows “But I thought there were only rich people buried in that graveyard, how could it be so cold?”
Lottie didn’t respond immediately, looked down to inspect her hands, her right hand coming up to pick at her fingernails.
Shauna grabbed her right hand “Stop that”. Lottie finally looked at her “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready”
Lottie looked down at their hands, then groaned softly. Shauna had already accepted that Lottie wasn’t going to tell her what had happened when Lottie dropped Shauna’s hand.She looked back at what she had written, then she passed the journal to Shauna.
“It was not my room in my father’s house. It was my room at the asylum”
Shauna blinked, it was an answer she never would’ve expected, in her mind Lottie had been a spoiled debutant, quiet at times (Although it was difficult to tell if Lottie’s quiet demeanor was by nature of because she didn’t have a tongue) It was a bend in the path Shauna had already carved out for Lottie.Her eyes found Lottie’s, then she offered her hand for Lottie to take again.
“It’s ok” She said, because it was all she could think to say “You’re here now”
Lottie smiled,and leaned into Shauna.
They stayed like that for a while, then another question popped into Shauna’s mind. She reached for the journal, once she had written her question she passed it to Lottie so she could read it.
“Why were you in there?”
Lottie bit the inside of her cheek, then she wrote down her response.
“Strange things have happened to me since I was little. I heard voices of people that were not in the room, I saw people that were not in the room. I tried to keep it to myself, but it was impossible to do, I never knew what was real,so I didn’t know who was safe to talk to.
It got worse over time. Dozens of doctors went to visit me, gave me different treatments,and all of them came to the conclusion that I would be better in an Asylum. My father did not take his time signing the papers.”
Shauna swallowed “I hope he’s burning in hell” She turned to Lottie “You did not deserve that, at all”
Lottie shrugged, Shauna grabbed both of her hands “You did not, your parents should’ve cared for you, not throw you away”
She stood up, now with both her hands intertwined with Lottie’s. She knew it was how stuff was done back in the day, but it made her sick regardless.Lottie, beautiful, caring, protective, kind Lottie was too important to be locked away.
The front door opened, Tai’s footsteps got louder and louder with each second, finally there was a knock on Shauna’s door.
Shauna squeezed Lottie’s hands “Hide” Once Lottie was huddled up in the closet she went to open the door.
“Tai, what are you doing here?”
Tai’s brows furrowed “It’s my house”
“No, I know, you just don’t usually come into my room is all”
Tai sighed, she stepped into the room and closed the door “There’s something wrong with my mom”
Shauna forced herself to breathe normally “Why?”
“I called this morning to her hotel, just to see how she was doing. The receptionist said there was no one checked in with the name Sarah Turner”
“But I didn’t notice that you called her” She had checked,since Lottie and her got back from the graveyard.
“I had a free period, I went to a payphone, but that’s not what’s important” She put her hands in front of her face “I called twice to make sure, I even asked if there was anyone there with her maiden name, but there was no one”
Shauna crossed her arm “Well, maybe she’s just staying at a different hotel”
“I thought so too, so I skipped practice and came home to check the directory, and guess what? She’s not in any hotel in the area”
The trophy was hidden in her closet.Did Shauna clean all the blood? Surely she would’ve noticed by now if she left a stain.
“That doesn’t mean that something bad happened to her” Shauna retorted
Tai shook her head “There’s something else going on”
Shauna grabbed Tai by the shoulders “Look, you’ve been very stressed lately, with school and soccer and stuff, maybe you’re just imagining things” Tai shook her head harder this time “No, just hear me out.Go to sleep and try not to worry, we’ll try to call again and if she’s doesn’t respond we’ll call the police”
Tai sighed “Alright, I’m not gonna bother you with it anymore. Maybe I am just seeing things”
Shauna nodded “Yes, just go to sleep honey”
Tai stepped out of the room dragging her feet, Shauna waited a few seconds before sighing.
“Shit”
She opened the closet door to find Lottie playing with an old doll.Lottie looked up at her with a smile on her face, Shauna couldn’t help but smile back.
“That’s Brave, hardworking and steadfast Kirsten. My dad send it to me for my fifteenth birthday”
She sat down next to Lottie “I never used her much to be honest”
Lottie inspected the doll, then threw it back into the closet, she squinted at something from the back and after a few seconds she retrieved a box.
Shauna’s eyes widened “Don’t open the-”
Lottie opened the box and held in her hand what lay inside.
Shauna tucked her hair behind her ears “That’s… a back massager, my aunt got it for me at Christmas”
Lottie furrowed her eyebrows, she stood up, massager still in hand and reached for the journal.Shauna stood up to see what she would write.
How does it work?
Shauna gulped, she set the journal down on the nightstand “I’ll show you, just don’t be weird about it” She grabbed the cable attached to the wand and plugged it in “Can you come here?”
Lottie went up to her, eyes still locked on the wand.
“Turn around” Shauna especified. She pointed the wand so it would touch Lottie’s back, she tried to move it around, being guided by Lottie’s contentful hums.
She touched the hem of Lottie’s shirt “Can I lift your shirt?”
Lottie hummed, so Shauna pulled up the hem until an expanse of tan skin was visible. She touched the skin with her hand, the spots the tanning bed had fixed felt more soft than the rest of her back, she caressed one with her thumb.
“There are other ways we can do this” Shauna blurted out.
Lottie turned around, a small furrow in her brow.
Shauna swallowed “Is it ok if we do it the other way?”
Lottie nodded, Shauna sat her down on the bed.
“Here” Shauna handed Lottie a glass of milk, then she lay down on the bed next to her.
Lottie took a sip from the glass and leaned against Shauna, who wrapped her arm around her shoulders.
She bit the inside of her cheek “I’m worried about Tai” She turned to look at Lottie “She’s pretty worried about her mom”
Shauna took a sip from her glass of milk “We shouldn’t have done that, you shouldn’t have done that. You can just kill people because they don’t like you! That’s not how it works Lottie!”
Lottie pointed at the journal, Shauna tossed it back to her.
It’s not just that she disliked you, she was gonna send you away. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened to you if we didn’t do it.
And what you told me about that man, what he did, he probably did it to other girls too. He deserved it. We did nothing wrong.
Shauna looked at the journal “You really think so?”
Lottie reached to take Shauna’s hand and nodded.
Shauna sighed “It’s just that…Tai. I bet she’s still up, worrying about her mom,and when she finds out” She blinked back tears “And I know Sarah sucked, but it feels so desolate, not having a mom. You come home, expecting to find her, but she’s just gone” It was harder to reign in tears “Everyone tells you to get over it, because it was a long time ago, but time just makes the hurt worse, you forget her voice and her touch. Time takes you further away from her”
Lottie whined, she turned on her side and tucked a strand of Shauna’s hair behind her ear. Shauna smiled at her, then she was lost in thought again.
“Sarah’s death can’t be traced back to us” She turned to her side so she was facing Lottie “If we get discovered I’ll go to jail. I get life imprisonment, or the death penalty. They would kill me”
Lottie whined and cupped her face, a thumb grazing against her cheek.
“We don’t know if that’s gonna happen for sure” She sat up “I still have time, I guess I’ll just try to have no regrets, just to be sure” She nodded to herself “I won’t die a virgin”
Lottie’s eyes furrowed, she sat up, and Shauna grabbed her bicep.
“Jackie has been sending me signals lately, so tomorrow I’ll just go up to her. We were childhood best friends, It will be a good first time” Shauna turned to Lottie “Did you ever do it?”
Lottie sighed then held up her pointer finger.
She handed the journal to Lottie “How did it happen?”
Her name was Laura Lee, we were best friends. She was one of the only people that were there for me. She was pretty torn up about it after we did it, but I don’t think she regretted it.
Shauna hummed “Did you love her?”
Lottie nodded. She laid back down on the bed and sighed.
Maybe it was for the best to call it a night “Good night” she said, then she went to sleep.
Tai was eating toast, standing against the counter when Shauna entered the kitchen.
“Hey” she said “how did you sleep?”
Tai rearranged her ponytail “I slept well” She moved to sit at the table “What about you?”
Shauna grabbed a box of cereal and a bowl “I slept well too”
Tai frowned “Are you eating your cereal dry?”
Shauna shrugged, debating herself before saying “You haven’t heard from your mom yet?”
Tai shook her head “But I looked through some of her stuff and I found the number of the organizers at the convention. I’m gonna call them, if they haven’t heard from her then I’m calling the police”
“They won’t do anything until the 48 hour mark”
“Shauna, it’s been two days since she went away”
Shauna gulped and ate her breakfast in silence.
Shauna opened the door of the car and stepped out, waiting for Tai to turn off the engine and get out of the car.
She rubbed at her eyes, and stared at Shauna, she blinked and looked her up and down.
“That dress looks great on you by the way”
Shauna smiled, the black dress wasn’t even meant to be worn on the daily, she had bought it for a Halloween costume, but she liked how she looked in it.
“Thanks” she said finally. She wrapped a hand around Tai’s bicep “C’mon we’re gonna be late for class”
They didn’t even make it to their lockers before they noticed the police officers walking towards the principal’s office.
Tai tapped Van’s shoulder “What’s that about?”
“Jeff Sadecki” Van answered, no one has seen him since yesterday afternoon”
“That’s very little time to start a police investigation” said Shauna
“Not when you’re the sheriff’s son”
Shauna ran her hands through her hair. Fuck, she should’ve planned this out better.
Tai groaned “Ugh, there’s too much going on right now” She sighed “You know what? I’m going home, I need a nap” She turned to Shauna “I’m taking the car, is it ok if you walk back home?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it” Shauna hugged her “It’ll be ok”
“Shauna Shipman, you are needed in the principal’s office”
The speaker turned off and Shauna stood up from her desk chair. The English classroom wasn’t too far away from the principal’s office, so it was a quick trip.
She stepped in, the principal was sitting at her desk, two police officers were standing at her side, and Mari was sitting in one of the guest chairs.
Shauna tore her eyes away from Mari “Did you ask for me?”
The principal nodded “Sit”
Shauna sat down “What’s happening?”
One of the police officers, the one with the mustache, cut to the chase “Are you friends with Jeff Sadecki?”
“I know him, we’re not particularly close”
The officer, Saracusa, if Shauna read the name tag right, said “Where were you yesterday?”
“At home” Shauna answered “Why are you asking me all this?”
The other officer stepped in “Jeff hasn’t been seen since yesterday afternoon, we were just wondering if you had any clue where he was”
“I don’t, I haven’t seen him since Biology class”
“Well, that’s interesting” Said Saracusa “Because your classmate here saw you slipping a note in his locker”
Shauna stared at Mari “Why were you watching me in the first place?”
Mari shrugged “I was just looking around, why are you being so defensive Shauna
“Girls” said the principal “Shauna what was in that note?”
“Just stuff, an Exes and Ohs game”
The second officer frowned “You don’t seem very sure”
Shauna groaned “Why are you so fixated on me being a part of this?”
“Because yesterday” said Saracusa “someone saw Jeff and a girl with your description at Greenwood Lake”
Shauna raised her eyebrows “There’s tons of girls with brown hair genius”
“They mentioned a five foot four with thick ankles”
Shauna huffed “You’re insane”
“She’s deflecting” muttered Mari
Shauna stood up “Excuse me?”
“You’re panicking because it’s obvious you did it” said Mari “You’re not even smart enough to cover you tracks” She turned to the officers “I mean, everyone knows that she killed her mom
Shauna pushed Mari’s chair “Say that again bitch!”
Mari scowled, shoving Shauna in the chest “You killed mommy dearest! and you killed Jeff too!”
Shauna’s fist was stopped mid-air by one of the officers “Enough” he said “Mari, you are not needed anymore”
Shauna shook off the officer’s hand “No, I’m leaving either way”
“We’re not done yet” said Saracusa
“Call me when you have an arrest order”
“That fucking skank” Shauna teared at her hair, she had to do something, she wasn’t sure what, but it had to be fast.
It’s not like she could bribe someone, even if Jeff wasn’t connected to the Sheriff Shauna didn’t make nearly enough money.She could run away, but she’d be leaving Tai behind, and what about Lottie?
Sarah’s car pulled up in front of her, the window rolled down, revealing Lottie. There was so much going on that she really didn’t question how Lottie could drive a fucking car.
She sighed, went to the other side of the car and climbed in and the car started again “Shit is transpiring”
She finally noticed Lottie’s clothes, they looked way too old-fashioned, and more importantly, Shauna was pretty sure they weren’t hers.
Her hands tightened around the fabric of her dress “Jeff is the son of the goddamned sheriff!, we’re gonna get caught!”
She looked down at her feet, beside them lay the anti-theft club that Sarah kept around, it was drenched in blood at one end.
So that’s where the clothes came from.
“It’s done, there’s no out anymore” She sighed “Take me to Jackie’s place”
Lottie turned to look at her, there was a pout in her mouth, her eyes looked sad.
“Really?” Shauna said “Are you really gonna get pissed with me about this now ? I get that you’re from the fucking old ages but sex is the less sinful thing that I’ve done in the last 24 hours”
Lottie turned her eyes back to the road, her mouth reduced to a thin line.
In a few minutes Jackie's house came to view, when they were a few meters away the car came to a sudden halt.Lottie unbuckled her seatbelt and took Shauna’s hands with both of hers.
Shauna tore her hands away, unbuckling her own seatbelt “I don’t get why you’re so mad about this” She got out of the car “I’ll be back in a while, so just stay here, ok?”
She checked for stains in her dress as she walked, when she opened the front door there seemed to be no one at home, she decided to go up the stairs either way.
As she got closer she recognized the faint sound of voices, she followed it to the room on the left side of the hall, a sign with the word Jackie hanging from the door.
“-And if there’s anything i can do to help, you can count on me”
“Thanks, I just think I have to figure it out on my own first”
Shauna recognized that voice.
She opened the door, Jackie and Tai jumped, covering themselves with the comforter.Shauna heard the blood rushing into her ears.
“How could you!” She screamed, she looked at Tai extended a hand out “Look, I can explain”
“How?” Shauna shot back “You knew I’ve liked her since forever”
Jackie frowned “Wait what?”
Shauna turned to her “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know, you’ve been sending me all the signals!”
“I haven’t!” said Jackie “I swear I haven’t, Shipman-“
Shauna pointed a finger at her “Don’t call me that” She stepped back, looking at Tai “You’ve just been pretending to care for me this whole time, you just think about me as what? your pet?”
Tai opened her mouth to speak, then her gaze drifted to the left of Shauna’s side, her eyebrows furrowed “Shauna, who’s that?”
Shauna turned around, Lottie was entering the room, axe in her hand. She didn’t think about when she let Lottie bypass her, she was too surprised to.
Lottie’s axe landed on Jackie’s chest, Tai screamed, she swung the axe a second time, with a decided expression she dug her hands into Jackie’s chest, Shauna didn’t get to see what she pulled out of it.
Lottie grabbed the axe again, Tai stumbled off the bed just into time for Lottie to strike the pillow. Shauna ran to Lottie’s side, grabbing her arm before she could make a second strike.
“No” She said
Lottie’s face settled into a soft frown, she ran past Shauna and then went out the door.
Tai was still laying on the floor, she tried to wipe the blood off her face to no avail.
“Shauna, what the fuck?”
Jackie’s blood seeped into the dress Shauna had taken from the dresser and shoved over Tai’s head. Her arm was slung over Tai’s waist, while Tai’s arm was slung across Shauna’s neck, she could feel her tremble under her hands.
Sarah’s car was already gone by the time they made it out into the street, so Shauna took them to Tai’s car instead.
She deposited Tai into the passenger seat, then went to sit in the driver’s seat herself, making Tai flinch in the process.
“I can’t really explain all this” Said Shauna “It would take a lot of time and you’d believe I’m insane”
She inhaled “But you deserve to know this. Your mom is dead and it’s my fault”
Tai turned to look at her, her mouth set into a thin line, she looked at the door handle long enough for Shauna to realize what she was about to do and lock the door.
“What is wrong with you?” Tai screamed.
“I’m sorry, ok!” Shauna screamed back, she swallowed “I’m sorry, you’ve always been there for me and I never thought about how it would affect you”
Tai huffed “I shouldn’t be the deciding factor on if you feel sorry or not for killing my mother”
“I know” Shauna sighed, she opened the first two buttons of her dress and took off her mother’s rosary from her neck.
She went to put it on Tai, who tried to get as far away from Shauna as possible.
“It was my mother’s, I want you to have it”
Tai’s face softened when she looked down at the rosary, a tear ran down her cheek when she clutched it in her hand.Shauna started the engine.
“Where are we going?” said Tai.
“Bachelorette’s Grove”
Sarah’s car was already parked outside the graveyard when Shauna pulled up, the axe resting on the hood of the car.With a quick “I’ll be back in a sec” to Tai she got out of the car, grabbing the axe.
She had to put an end to this, they had gotten in too deep without any idea of how to claw their way out.Too many people had been hurt. She thought Lottie understood it too, if the surrendered axe was anything to go by.
Just as she had expected, Lottie was standing at the foot of her grave, shoulders slumped.Shauna took a few steps forward, Lottie straightened her back, as if she was waiting for something; Shauna swung the axe over her head.
The axe hit the ground with a strong thud, Lottie turned around, eyes wide, mouth slightly open and Shauna didn’t waste a second before flinging herself into her arms.
She couldn’t do it, not to Lottie, not after everything they’d been through.
She slightly pulled herself away from Lottie, just enough so she could see her face. A smile stretched around her lips.
She catched a tear that was rolling in Lottie’s cheek with her thumb “Your tears smell like shit”
Lottie let out a groan that was probably supposed to be a laugh, her eyes crinkling.That’s when it hit Shauna.
“You love me,” she muttered.
Lottie nodded, so Shauna said it again, louder this time.
“You love me” Lottie could not even nod again, because Shauna was already capturing her mouth with her own.
She tangled her hands in Lottie’s hair, and felt Lottie’s hand circling her waist.When the kiss came to an end Shauna kissed her again.
They pulled apart, her hands came down to Lottie’s shoulders, but Lottie pulled them even apart so she could pull something out of her pocket, finally placing the bloodied bulk of paper in Shauna’s hands.
Shauna tore apart the paper and felt her smile widen. It was Jackie’s heart, she supposed it was Lottie’s heart now.
“You got it for me?”
Lottie nodded, Shauna pulled her in for a short kiss.She took Lottie’s hand, pulling them in the direction of the car, when Officer Saracusa came into view.
Lottie had reached him before he could lay a hand on his gun. She picked him up,only gripping him tighter when he started to kick at her, then she dropped him inside her grave.
Then Lottie and Shauna made their way home.
It was different, stitching a limb to stitching an organ, but Shauna was getting the hang of it. She cut the thread with scissors, then felt her way around the organ. Some of the arteries were damaged, but the tanning bed should be able to fix it.
They made their way to the tanning bed, and as expected, when Shauna put her hand around Lottie’s heart she felt it beat.
“I love you” She said, tucking a strand of hair on Lottie’s ear “I didn’t say it back earlier, but I love you. I’ve never met anyone like you”
Lottie leaned in to kiss her, when the kiss ended they did again, and again.It was a while before they left the shed.
“We’re still gonna get caught”
She sat next to Lottie on the bed, handing her a glass of milk.Lottie reached for the journal.
We can still runaway
Shauna shook her head “They’ll be searching for me, I told Tai about what we did to her mom”
How does she feel?
Shauna sighed “She was pretty freaked out, obviously” She took a sip from her own glass of milk “I don’t even want her to forgive me, I don’t expect her to, I just-“ She ran her hands through her hair “Anyway, I don’t know how much time it would take for them to stop searching for us. Only if I was pronounced dead”
Lottie looked at her, after a second or two she smirked.
I have an idea
“Be sure you set it to Max Bronze”
Shauna laid down onto the tanning bed, Lottie hovered over her, giving her a chaste kiss.
She cupped Lottie’s cheek “I’ll be ok” She pulled out a note from her flannel “Read this once you close the tanning bed.
Lottie nodded, gave her one more kiss on the cheek and slowly closed the tanning bed.
She had faith that Lottie could bring her back, they would give it a few days, until Shauna had a death certificate and grave to claw out of.
Then they’d start their new lives, they would find some new body parts for Shauna , and she would be able to let go.
There was also the possibility that Lottie wouldn’t be able to bring her back and Shauna would stay dead forever. In that case, she hoped Lottie took what she had written in the note to heart.
Death is temporary. I’ll love you forever.