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“Vernon. Psst, Vernon.”
Vernon stirs from his nap, rolling over in bed to blink up at the shadowy figure standing above him. “Huh? Junhui hyung?”
“Did I wake you?” Junhui pats a hand on Vernon’s face.
“Yeah,” Vernon says, but quickly adds on when he sees Junhui’s face fall, “But it’s okay. I’m awake now. What’s up?”
“Vernon, I feel like I’m going to die.”
That has Vernon awake awake. Fast.
“What do you mean? Are you okay? Is everything all right?” He sits up fully in bed now, pulling back the cover a bit so that Junhui can crawl in next to him.
Junhui does, and jesus, his hands are freezing as he grips at Vernon but his face is flushed and Vernon instinctively rests the back of his hand against Junhui’s forehead, the way his mother would do for him when he was younger.
“I don’t know, I just think I’m going to die .”
Vernon looks around, patting over the blankets for his phone. “Okay, well, tell me your symptoms. I’ll try to WebMD it.”
Junhui lets out a long sigh. “My heart starts beating really fast and loud, like so loud it’s almost the only thing I can hear in my ears. And my chest hurts, and I can’t breathe super well and my hands get super clammy and sweaty even if it’s freezing cold outside. And sometimes when it’s really bad I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
Vernon types into Google. He also adds, “cold hands and feverish”. He debates putting it into ChatGPT, but decides he doesn’t trust AI enough yet to hand over something as sensitive as Junhui’s HIPAA information.
“Okay, well, WebMD says you might have pneumonia or bronchitis or potentially lung cancer in extreme cases.”
Junhui's face pales. “Cancer? Am I going to die?”
Vernon stops himself from saying, “You said it first.” Instead, he asks, “Is there anything specific that you’ve noticed that triggers it? Or is it chronic?”
Junhui carefully thinks through the past few weeks of when he'd started noticing the pain. “Hm, I’m not sure about anything specific, but it almost never happens when I’m alone or at home. During practice and filming, sometimess”
“It could be a sort of public anxiety disorder? Or allergies?”
Junhui just stares at him helplessly.
“I don’t think there's any way to know for sure until you het checked out by a doctor, hyung.”
“Will you go to the hospital with me?” Junhui asks. “I’m scared.”
Vernon pats him on the back. “Of course.”
–
At the hospital, the doctor seems mostly confused. “I’ll run some labs and let you know if anything comes back, but as it stands it appears to be more of a mental or psychological issue. If you find that this issue is interfering with your life, I can refer you to a psychiatrist.”
Vernon frowns at that. It’s good news if it really isn’t an issue, but what if there is and the doctor just hasn’t found it yet? He’s definitely seen stories on Reddit of doctors being overly dismissive of patients. Is it because Junhui is Chinese?
Junhui, on the other hand, just seems mostly relieved. “Well, that’s good. I haven’t really even had it come up much this past week, so maybe it was just a temporary thing.”
“If you say so, hyung,” Vernon says. There’s not much they can do except wait for the labs.
“Yeah, honestly, I’m sure it’ll be gone by the time our comeback rolls around.”
–
Junhui is wrong.
They’re together in the practice rooms, all thirteen of them together for the first time in a hot minute. Now that people have moved out of the dorms and started pursuing some solo schedules, it’s a bit more difficult to get everyone together the way they used to be.
“Welcome back,” Vernon says to Minghao, waving when he walks in. “How was filming?” Minghao’s been in China the past couple of weeks, filming for a show and it’s good to see him again.
Minghao is halfway through a story about something that happened on set, giggling as he gestures with his hands to demonstrate the way one of the cameramen apparently tripped over part of the set, when Junhui appears beside them.
“Hi,” he says, giving a pinched smile to Minghao who beams back at him. “Vernon, can I talk to you?”
Vernon looks over at Junhui who’s looking unusually red in the face. “Um, yeah. Of course. Let me know the rest of that story later,” he calls over his shoulder absentmindedly, too focused on leading Junhui out of the room. He misses the frown that appears on Minghao’s face.
“Everything okay?” Vernon asks Junhui. They’re huddled in the emergency exit stairwell for privacy, and Junhui sinks down on one of the stairs, burying his face into his knees.
“I don’t know. I thought I was feeling okay, but then when I got into the practice room I started feeling that weird thing in my chest again.”
Vernon leans down to pat Junhui on the back. “Did the doctor get back to you yet?” His fingers are itching to get back on WebMD. There has to be something that’s causing this. Unfortunately, he’s left his phone back in the practice room.
Junhui shakes his head with a moan. “The preliminary tests were negaitve, but there’s some bloodwork pending. What if it really is cancer, Vernon? Am I going to die?”
Vernon isn’t a huge fan of skinship, but he feels that this moment is an exception. He doesn’t want to be one of those people that lie on their deathbed with regrets over not showing love and affection to their loved ones when they had a chance out of a misplaced fragile masculinity.
“No, you’re not. We can get the best doctors in the world to fix you up, got it, Junhui hyung?” He sits next to Junhui on the step, wrapping his arms around Junhui and patting his hair to try and comfort him.
The door to the stairwell bursts open then, and Vernon squints up at the light to see Minghao with a confused expression on his face.
“Oh, um. Sorry guys. I was just… Nevermind. I’ll give you guys some space.” And just as quickly, the door is shut.
Vernon blinks.
Junhui whines, “I can’t breathe.”
“Oh my god,” Vernon says, “are you okay? Are you going into anaphylactic shock? Maybe it’s an allergy.”
“No, no,” Junhui says, extricating himself from Vernon’s grasp. “I can’t breathe because you’re suffocating me.”
“Oh,” Vernon says. He lets his arms drop awkwardly back to his sides. “Um, feeling better now?”
“Yeah, definitely,” Junhui says. “Let’s go back.”
They get through most of practice fairly uneventfully, although there are definitely a couple moments here and there when he notices Junhui either looks a little more flushed or is taking an extra moment to catch his breath, at least compared to the usual level he is at during their choreography practices. It’s sporadic, though, and between trying to get through the new choreo without getting scolded by Soonyoung, it’s hard to notice a pattern. Vernon makes a note to self, however, that he’ll try to keep better track next time.
At one point, Minghao walks over next to Junhui and places a hand on his shoulder, asking him something in hushed tones. They exchange a couple words in Chinese softly that Vernon can’t quite make out before he sees Junhui look up and make eye contact with him in the mirror looking panicked.
“All good?” Vernon asks, walking over. He places a hand on Junhui’s chest, checking his heart rate and geez that feels way too fast.
Junhui forces a smile and Minghao looks slowly between the two of them before shrugging and walking away.
“I’m okay now,” Junhui says throwing Vernon two thumbs up.
“If you say so.” Vernon sniffs at the air and wonders if maybe it’s an allergy. He can still smell the lingering smell of Minghao’s perfume. Could that be it?
–
The next time it happens, they’re going out to eat. It’s a mix of the members of the performance and hip hop teams who weren’t off to take a nap or go do individual schedules while the vocal team records a unit song. After multiple heated rounds of rock paper scissors, Minghao had come out the ultimate winner and leads them out to a hot pot place he’s been meaning to try for a while now.
Vernon seats himself between Wonwoo and Mingyu and regrets his life choices when he realizes he’s squashed between two of the biggest shoulders fathomable. Meanwhile on the other side of the table, Minghao seems to be enjoying himself and his plenty of arm room, reaching freely for food between Chan and Junhui. At points throughout the meal, Junhui even scoops up food and places it tenderly onto Minghao’s plate for him to eat, telling him, “Try this one, it’s really good.”
“Here, try this,” Vernon hears next to him and he perks up for a moment, thinking Mingyu is passing him something, only to hurriedly back up and make room as Mingyu reaches across his lap to feed a bit of meat into Wonwoo’s mouth. Wonwoo doesn’t even respond, just nonchalantly eats out of Mingyu’s palm as if this is every day fare for him. Honestly, it probably is.
“Mm, this one is really good!” Minghao says, moaning as it hits the spot. “You should try it, too,” he says, turning to face Junhui.
Junhui’s face goes a little red as he accepts the food and he hurriedly goes to take a sip of water. In his rush, he ends up choking as he accidentally swallows with his air tube and coughs, leaving a messy puddle of half eaten vegetables and water in his lap.
“Are you okay?” Minghao asks, grabbing a tissue and hurriedly wiping at Junhui’s lap. Beside him, Chan is cracking up and taking his phone out to film the mess.
“Too spicy for you?” Wonwoo asks with a grin, and Junhui glares at him.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom to get cleaned up,” he finally says, pushing Minghao’s hands away. As Junhui gets up, he shoots a pointed look at Vernon.
Vernon sighs, staring forlornly at the food he’s barely touched, but decides it’s for the best anyway.
In the bathroom, Junhui sighs as he cleans off. “It’s happening again !”
“Hmm,” Vernon says thoughtfully, rubbing at his chin. “You don’t usually have an issue with hotpot, right?”
Junhui rolls his eyes. “Of course not. This level of spice is nothing to me.”
“I can ask them what ingredients they put in the broth? Maybe it’s an allergy,” Vernon suggests. The more he thinks about it, the more similar the symptoms look to his own reaction when he eats peanuts.
Junhui looks confused. “But I got allergy testing at the doctor and they said nothing triggered it.”
Vernon scratches his head. “What could it be ?”
–
They have a bit of a close call at the airport. Vernon knows that a few of the members have had trouble with the crowds and the flashing cameras before in the past, but Junhui typically hadn’t had such difficulties so he’d ruled out some sort of panic attack until now.
They’re just exiting the cars, and Vernon is standing to one side as he waits for Minghao and Junhui who make up the back of the pack. Minghao exits first, flashing a bright smile and waving. They’ve put him head to toe in sponsored brands, and he looks great to a point that Vernon thinks it’s a shame he’s just going to be sitting on a plane for hours in this fit.
Junhui comes out next, half tripping as he stumbles out of the car. His eyes are transfixed on Minghao, mouth hanging slightly open as he watches Minghao. And then Vernon sees it happen.
Junhui’s hands flick out for a second as if to grab onto Minghao’s sleeve, and as he does Vernon notices that his fingers are shaking slightly. His face is also turning that now familiar shade of red, and for once Vernon wonders if maybe the doctor was right and this is a psychological thing.
He can’t be too sure, but he’s too far away from Junhui to check up on him with all the cameras flashing and people surrounding them, so he discreetly pulls out his phone and shoots a text to Minghao who’s standing closest to Junhui.
can you keep an eye on jun hyung? he doesn’t look too great
Minghao doesn’t respond, but he looks over and catches Vernon’s eye, shooting him a quick nod before taking Junhui by the elbow as they make their way through the crowd.
The blush doesn’t leave Junhui’s face, but he does manage a small smile, still keeping his eyes on Minghao’s back the whole way through. Even after security, Vernon sees that Junhui is stuck to Minghao’s side while Minghao rubs small circles into Junhui’s back.
“ All good? ” Vernon mouths to Minghao and Minghao holds up a thumbs up.
–
Vernon is sitting at home with a little bit of free time. He’s spent a few minutes scrolling through Weverse and dropping replies to Carat’s posts when a post about Junhui makes remember his recent mission.
Lately, he’s started recording all of the circumstances when he’s noticed Junhui’s symptoms acting up to see if he can try and find a pattern.
So far, there’s been group dance practices – though he can’t tell if just plain old overexertion and hardcore dancing is a confounding factor.
But then, there’s also been moments before practices, and even before getting on stage for performances that Junhui’s symptoms have flared up, too. It could be stage fright, even though that hasn’t ever been an issue for Junhui in the past… but then again, there was that incident at the airport.
A couple of times, to a lesser degree, Junhui had fallen even quieter than usual during their Going Seventeen filming.
And then while eating, while hanging out, while drinking, just while sitting at home.
There really aren’t any commonalities, except… Seventeen, of course. But they’re always together, it’s difficult to really differentiate the two. Jun and Seventeen, Seventeen and Jun.
Vernon pulls out a sheet of paper and writes down a list of the members. Going through each of the times that Junhui has mentioned, he cross off names on the list until he’s left with two.
Vernon.
Minghao.
But then, since these are all times Vernon’s observed these, of course he’d be there.
And then, it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his brain.
Junhui had mentioned that this had started before, about a week before Minghao had gone to China. The symptoms, Vernon recalls, had subsided around when they went to the hospital, right around when Minghao was gone. And then they’d started back up again when Minghao returned.
Just on the edge of an epiphany, Vernon goes back to his phone, scrolling back through Weverse, Instagram, their groupchats.
Eureka! He’s found it.
Minghao had dyed his hair just before he’d left for China.
And that’s the only consistent thing that’s remained this whole time! Ruling out some mysterious, unknown, yet-to-be-discovered illness, that has to be the cause.
–
“Hyung! Junhui hyung! I think I’ve figured it out!” Vernon says, bursting into Junhui’s room. “Oh,” Vernon says, surprised. “Minghao hyung, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Junhui and Minghao are sitting side by side on the bed, hair messy as if they’ve just woken up from a nap.
“Oh, um, hey Vernon,” Junhui says slowly while Minghao bursts into giggles and buries his face in Junhui’s shoulder. “Actually, don’t worry about it. I think I figure out the issue. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Oh,” Vernon says, scratching at his head. Maybe the doctor got back to him and he’s all cured now. “That’s good. I’ll leave you guys to hang out, then,” he says, closing the door. He’s glad he was wrong, though, because if Junhui really was allergic to Minghao, that could definitely pose some problems for them as a group.
–
A few days later, Vernon is the one bursting into Junhui’s room in the middle of the night. Minghao is curled up next to him on the bed, which, strange, but there are more important things at stake right now.
“Hyung, hyung,” Vernon whispers, shaking Junhui’s shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” Junhui asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Do you think whatever it was that you had could be contagious? I think I might be experiencing the same symptoms.”
Shortness of breath, fast hearbeat, flushed face. Impure thoughts about his fellow bandmate.
Junhui stares at him for a moment before nudging Minghao to the side and patting the edge of the bed. “When did you first start noticing your symptoms?”
“Well, Seungkwan and I were out just having some drinks earlier…”