Chapter Text
It’s the ringing that Jayce notices first.
The low thrum vibrating in his head, drowning out everything else. His head spins vision a dark blur as if drowning in ink. It’s as if his mouth is full of sand and he realizes in a panic that he needs to breathe – his body seems to have forgotten how . He jolts forward with a cough and a sputter, eyes open wide to see the blurred chaos around him. Smears of browns and greys interrupted by the bleeding reds of those before-
The explosion
It’s a hazy memory, flashes of it coming back to him as the screams muffled around him, and suddenly he’s back in the council room. He remembers standing before the councilors, proposing a brokered peace with Silco. He remembers the sour looks and insults directed towards him as he threatened the power they coveted. He remembers the wave of relief he felt as he watched Mel’s hand rise in support, the spotlight making her shine as effortlessly as gold.
Mel- he thinks in a panic, and it’s as if he willed her to appear in front of him as his vision clears. Head cradled in her hand as she gazes over the scene unfolding around her. Horror and shock were written over her features, her brow furrowed as she tried to decipher what was happening. The gold that was glimmering just moments before, was dusted and dulled now as he lurched towards her, resisting the urge to smother her in an embrace. He wanted to shield her from the smudged colors of violence, he placed his hand gingerly on her arm and cheek, thumb moving back and forth in a soothing motion.
Her gaze moves from the rubble to meet his eyes, fear pouring out of her without words. His eyes studied her looking for any injuries. Once. Twice. Three times to be sure– she was unharmed. A small tension left her body as she did the same, realizing that he too, was uninjured.
It was a miracle from the Gods he thought at the time. But their lives were never simply explained by Gods.
Their surroundings start to come into focus like a camera lens being turned at just the right angle. Blurred colors became forms and forms became bodies. Some were crippled to the floor, some wandered aimlessly in a daze akin to a soldier at war. The councilor table that was once a symbol of power was destroyed. A flash of blue caught his eye as he looked to his right. There lay Cassandra, his fellow councilor, his patron, Caitlyn’s mom , in a pool of blood that didn’t seem to stop flowing from her crumpled body. His knees ached from the grit of the concrete– when did he start kneeling? The warmth was already leaving her body as he searched for a nonexistent pulse. The cold at his fingertips contrasted with the heat seeping into the fabric of his pants, blood staining his knees. His senses sharpen like a blade as more memories flood his mind.
He remembers watching the reluctant raising of hands after what seemed like hours of fighting. The click of each spotlight turning on rang in his ears like church bells. He remembers Mel’s discarded family ring on the table, the war they had chosen to leave behind. The glint of gold.
Viktor.
He remembers looking back at his partner after their victory, grins plastered on their faces. Viktor’s smile reached his eyes, making them appear a brighter amber than usual, and a light flush dusted his cheeks. He looked more alive than he had in months. In years .
Was this minutes before the explosion? Seconds? A chill crept up his spine as he was brought back to his body. Bile threatened to rise in his throat as he scanned the fractured ruins frantically. He had been sitting right next to Jayce surely-
His cane. His cane painted in Talis reds and golds lay discarded by a large pile of debris.
And then he saw him. A cloud of dust blew past to reveal a clearer picture. The motionless body of his partner lay wedged between what looked like parts of the wall and ceiling. Vision that had finally cleared blurred again as tears welled up and silently fell down his cheeks. His body staggered up and towards Viktor, moving faster than his brain could follow. No no no, not him, not now. Each dragging step took a great amount of willpower to not fall to his knees and weep at the sight. The possibility of Viktor being alive was the only thing keeping him from drifting off into a grief-stricken stupor.
“Viktor…?” Scratchy from disuse and dust, but fear caused his voice to tremble. It was a broken thing.
There was no response from the body, only the muffled screams of those around. A sob lodged in his throat as he took in every detail in front of him, assessing the damage and trying to decide his next course of action. He gently grabbed Viktor’s wrist, checking for a pulse, a glimmer of hope. There was none. Panic clawed through his body as he picked him up to move him to a flat surface.
It’s only been a minute, he had time. He can save him.
Air filled his lungs as he took a deep breath and braced himself, placing two hands in a fist above Viktor’s heart, before bringing them down harshly.
Up, down, up, down, up, down.
The sickening crunch of ribs breaking, Viktor’s sternum separating from his muscles– the sounds made Jayce sick.
Up, down, up, down, up, down.
The repeated pressure of his palms became numbing, rhythm a blur as his panic rose. Viktor had to be okay, Jayce needed him to be okay. With every press of his hands, his sanity splintered. He wanted to feel guilty, to feel pain, but all that was left was the gnawing fear behind his chest, threatening to consume him.
Please. Please. Please. Silent prayers he hoped would reach someone– anyone like they had when he was young. Praying for someone to whisk them away into a bright flower field in the countryside, mountains in the distance, and the faint birdsong at the treeline. Praying for Viktor’s eyes to flutter open with a small smile, reassuring Jayce that he was okay.
Up, down, up, down, up, down.
Hands shaking, he leaned down to blow air in Viktor’s mouth, to somehow breathe his life into him.
The thought of kissing Viktor was only indulged once, a fleeting moment right after they had cracked the secret to operating the Hexgates. Moonlight streamed in through the windows of their lab, an arm thrown around Viktor’s shoulder as they shared a celebratory drink. Viktor wore a smile he rarely showed anyone, eyes crinkled as the corners of his lips rose to reveal hidden dimples. It felt like an honor for Jayce to witness it. This was one time before he decided that their partnership was too important for him to ruin with his feelings. Just being with Viktor, even if he couldn’t have him, was enough for Jayce. So he would file away every fantasy, every second glance, every moment with Viktor in his heart, a place where he could always find comfort.
This wouldn’t even be classified as a kiss , he thought, but he couldn’t help but wish for it as the ache bloomed in his chest when their lips met.
The screams quieted, his hands slowed, the world stopped, and the tension in his body finally snapped like a chain wrapped around a gear too tight. Doubled over, he cradled Viktor’s hand close to his face as his shoulders shook with each exhale. Tears flowed in heavy streams, leaving streaks behind on his dust-stained cheeks.
Save me. It wasn’t even a whisper, more like an afterthought entering Jayce’s mind. Save me. It disguised itself in Viktor’s voice, accent thick with layered robotic tones. Different enough for Jayce to notice, but not enough for him to care. It was at this moment when he realized the hand he was holding was not the flesh and blood Jayce knew, but rather an intricate arrangement of purples and golds. Fingers ran over the different shades, still warm, but emitting a faint purple glow and a low hum.
The Hexcore
Adrenaline coursed through him as he lifted Viktor into his arms. With one last glance at his face, Jayce takes off running to the lab. Their lab. His last resort. If Viktor’s new limbs were any indicator, he had obviously made some headway in their research. He wished he could’ve helped. He wished for a lot of things while carrying the weight of his best friend’s body.
The lab doors burst open with a loud thud, slamming against the walls as Jayce shoulders in. His legs ache, lungs burning as he tries to regain control of his breathing. He staggers over to the table in the center of the lab. With his hand under Viktor’s head, he gently places him down, head lolling to the side, looking peaceful. It reminds him of the times Jayce would return to the lab in the early morning and find Viktor lightly snoring at his desk. Eyes desperately searched the lab for Viktor’s notes, the distinct scrawl of his handwriting or colored tabs on the corners of his paper– anything. Movement in his peripheral breaks Jayce’s concentration as he snaps his head to see Viktor’s leg twitch. A steady stream of purple light produced by the Hexcore enveloped his leg, slowly creeping up his body to his hand.
Bring me closer , it whispered. The initial impulse to refuse ran through his veins, and the memory of his promise loomed over him.
“You have to destroy it,” Viktor mumbled.
“I know,” Jayce responded, the guilt felt heavier than the hammer he had just wielded– had just killed with. How would Viktor see him if he could see the blood on his hands– how he defiled their dream?
“The Hexcore… I–” Viktor paused, looking down at the river he contemplated falling into just moments earlier, wanting the cool water to pull him into a peaceful sleep to finally end things. “I can’t do it. You have to– please. ” Desperation laced in his voice as Jayce looked at him with hurt confusion. If he met his gaze, that look would stay with him forever and he couldn’t bear it. There was hesitation before Jayce spoke, something on his lips left unsaid.
“...What about your disease? Without the Hexcore you-” A coughing fit interrupted his protest, and Viktor’s shoulders jerked with every effort to clear his lungs.
“Promise me.”
“I– ok, Vik. Ok.”
Ok. The words reverberated in his mind as he approached the Hexcore, taunting him. Jayce was a man of his word, yet he could not find the strength to resist the siren’s call. Jayce could fix this, he could bring Viktor back. They could work through this together. The cool metal of the tongs spread across his palms as he slowly picked up the Hexcore. Even with his slow caution, the magnetic pull between Viktor’s body and the glowing machine became harder to resist. The purple glow explodes, Viktor’s back surging off the table with pain wrought on his face. A wind starts whirring around the lab, papers flying and sending their lab into disarray. There’s a scream lost in the noise, Jayce doesn’t know if it’s from him or Viktor. Part of him hopes it’s from Viktor, that a spark of life had caught flame.
The Hexcore is heaved from his grasp, colliding with Viktor’s chest with a violent force. Jayce is sent flying back, head hitting the desk with a dull thud. The air is forced out of his lungs and he doubles over gasping for air. Black spots cloud his vision as he grasps at his head, wincing in pain. The threat of passing out moments away. A strange ooze had started to form around Viktor’s body before another explosion of light filled the room and a purple flame barrels towards him. It connects with his head, sending a searing hot pain through his body. It’s the last thing that pushes Jayce over the edge into unconsciousness. It would be comforting if it weren’t for the anxiety scraping at his insides. The last thing his senses register is a voice echoing in the distance, calling to him in the darkness.
“Jayce?”