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“A little more to the left,” Stiles waved his hand, signaling for his boyfriend to shift over. He glanced at his phone’s screen, which was perched on a small tripod on the kitchen island. Reluctantly, Derek moved his chair a millimeter to the side, causing Stiles to frown. “The other left,” Stiles corrected, noticing Derek was sliding out of the frame.
“That’s your left,” Derek muttered but grudgingly adjusted to the other side. With a quick gesture, Stiles stopped him, tapped the round button in the middle of his screen, and circled the kitchen island to settle on a barstool beside Derek. He scooted as close as possible and gave Derek an exaggerated smile.
“Friendly face,” he admonished in a sing-song tone. Unsurprisingly, he earned an eye roll in response. “I’d like to avoid comments accusing me of blackmailing you into appearing on camera again,” Stiles added. While he sounded playful, it wasn’t a joke. He’d come across such remarks under his videos, despite his modest audience. Derek’s perpetually annoyed expression seemed to unsettle viewers.
“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” Derek replied innocently, shrugging. A faint grin spread across his face, which Stiles mirrored before playfully punching him on the shoulder. Stiles wasn’t exactly a TikTok star. He had started streaming video games months ago, but few had noticed. However, when Derek agreed to play It Takes Two with him, view counts soared. Apparently, audiences enjoyed watching two grown men bicker over a video game, (almost) threatening their relationship in the process. Despite wanting to ban Derek from their apartment that night, Stiles was grateful he had agreed to keep him company for the stream. This newfound traction also meant Stiles could earn a little extra cash from TikToks and Twitch streams, which he began at viewers’ requests. Stiles worked at a small IT company, and Derek was a lighting technician. While they made ends meet comfortably, a bit of extra savings never hurt—especially to fund Stiles’ obsession with books, which cluttered their apartment.
Derek frequently tried to coax him into downsizing, but Stiles refused, certain that he might one day revisit some of his collection. It was precisely this hobby that led to today’s video. Stiles planned to edit and upload it before the night was over. The “We-listen-and-we-don’t-judge” trend had been circulating on social media for a while. Initially, Stiles considered following the classic version but quickly realized that he and Derek lacked sufficient material to make it funny. Then, when he saw the same trend applied to books, he immediately knew it was perfect for them. Derek had long teased Stiles for reading what he dubbed the worst books ever written in English. Occasionally, Stiles would gleefully read particularly cringe-worthy scenes from his dark romance novels aloud in bed, delighted about Derek’s exaggerated reactions—covering his ears, shouting over Stiles, or throwing a pillow at him to make him stop. Today, Derek wouldn’t escape the contents of those books.
“Ready?” Stiles asked, giggling as Derek rolled his eyes yet again.
“Can you take off your hat?” Stiles asked, reaching for it, but Derek leaned back.
“My hair’s a mess,” Derek defended, trying to intercept Stiles’ hand before it got too close. He grinned mischievously, clasped Stiles’ slender wrist, and playfully nipped at his forearm—softly, barely grazing the skin, just lightly enough to make Stiles yelp. Stiles tried to pull away but was no match for his boyfriend, who basically lived at the gym at this point. By now, he was easily twice his size. Perhaps it should have concerned Stiles that he couldn’t fend off someone Derek’s size, but he knew Derek would never take advantage of their dynamic. He only liked to assert his dominance during playful moments—or in the bedroom, a thought Stiles quickly brushed aside to stay on task.
“Let go,” Stiles grinned so widely that Derek didn’t take him seriously. Derek abruptly pulled him closer and kissed his cheek before letting go.
“I’m not cutting that out,” Stiles informed him, watching Derek’s eyes widen in mock horror. Stiles laughed as Derek shot him a meaningful look. Derek liked to pretend he had a reputation to uphold. It was this very demeanor that had initially made it hard for Stiles to introduce Derek to his family and friends. Derek was reserved and standoffish around others, but Stiles knew his softer side well. In truth, Derek didn’t mind being roped into Stiles’ camera stunts. Nor did he object when Stiles read aloud the more risqué passages from his novels. Derek, for all his eye rolls and teasing, was pretty laid back under all that tough exterior.
“Ready?” Stiles asked again, and this time Derek nodded, clapping his hands together as if signaling the start of a film. With a smirk, Stiles turned to the camera, blindly reached for the towering stack of books to his right, and pulled it close.
“We listen and we don’t judge: Book Edition,” Stiles announced, grabbing Derek’s hand and moving it rhythmically as he sang the phrase.
“You have to join in,” he urged Derek, who awkwardly repeated after him. Stiles had to stifle his laugh already, knowing exactly how Derek would react to what came next. Dramatically, he paused and introduced the first book: Crimson Chains.
“Her father has debts and sells her to a vampire clan. The leader kills her father, locks her in the basement, and drinks her blood every night. Eventually, she gets so horny from it that they have sex in a pool of her blood.” Suppressing a laugh, Stiles turned to Derek expectantly. As predicted, Derek furrowed his brow in disbelief, silently questioning Stiles’ choice in reading material.
After a while, he put the book aside, reached for Derek's hand again, and repeated the sentence, “We listen and we don’t judge.” This time, Derek joined in by the second word.
Stiles grabbed the next book. It was dark blue with a red rose at the center of the cover. He placed it on the table in front of him again and bit his tongue. The Devil’s Petal. He’d finished the book in a single day.
“He’s a mafia boss who breaks into her house and murders her entire family. Then, when she wakes up, he grapes her with his gun and takes her to his villa, where she eventually falls in love with him.” Stiles looked eagerly in Derek’s direction. Once again, Derek furrowed his brow, though he seemed noticeably more disturbed than with the first book.
“What?” Derek asked, clearly confused. But Stiles didn’t give him enough time to process the words. He immediately grabbed Derek’s hand again.
“We listen and we don’t judge,” they said in unison, and Stiles couldn’t help but laugh out loud. No trend had ever been this much fun for him, though he had to admit it was a little embarrassing. He couldn’t even remember the last time he felt embarrassed in front of Derek, but he had never planned to share these dark fantasies with him.
The next book he pulled from the stack was relatively new. It had a red cover and the very creative title Cabin Fever.
“He goes hiking in the mountains with his step-uncle and step-cousins, but they get lost and end up in a small cabin, where they get snowed in. In the end, they all sleep with each other.”
Again, he turned to Derek, who looked disgusted.
“All at the same time?” Derek asked, horrified. Stiles nodded, laughing.
“But the uncle and cousins are father and—”
“We listen and we don’t judge!” Stiles interrupted him and grabbed the next book. Extraterrestrial. The cover was adorned with the worst design he had ever seen. Derek could probably handle Photoshop better than the person who had illustrated the book. The man on the cover was muscular and shirtless. His skin had been lightly edited to a bluish hue, and his head featured two poorly rendered horns sticking out from his hair.
“She and two other girls end up on another planet and are abducted by aliens. The aliens are desperate to reproduce and, well…” He shrugged, feeling his ears heat up. Derek made a sudden, irritated hand gesture, his expression a mix of disgust and confusion.
“Babe,” he gasped, shocked and almost accusatory. “Why do you even buy this stuff?” he asked, grabbing the book to examine the cover more closely. Apparently, he also noticed the poorly edited young man on the front.
“Oh, and there’s a ton of tentacle porn,” Stiles added enthusiastically.
“Sorry, what?” Derek asked for clarification.
“Well,” Stiles shrugged, “the aliens have long tentacles, and they…” He made a suggestive hand gesture.
“What the fuck,” Derek muttered, shaking his head as Stiles burst into laughter.
“And does it end with alien babies?” Derek asked, sighing.
“Yes, lots of them,” Stiles laughed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as his grin stretched wider. Of course, he didn’t read these books for the plot but for the ungodly sex scenes—not that they were well-written.
“That's some bullshit right there.” Even Derek had to chuckle a little before suddenly tossing the book into the living room.
“Hey!” Stiles cried indignantly. No book, no matter how bad, deserved that kind of treatment. Still, it had landed harmlessly on the soft carpet, so Stiles could forgive him.
He reached for Derek’s hand. “We listen, and we don’t judge,” they said in unison.
The next book was a TikTok classic that many viewers likely recognized: Echoed Desire.
“She gets kidnapped by a mafia boss who hires a bodyguard to ensure she doesn’t escape. She falls in love with the bodyguard, and he murders the mafia boss right in front of her. Then, they have sex multiple times—with the dead body still in the bed.” Stiles was starting to wonder how much longer it would take before Derek left the room entirely.
Sighing, Derek buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. “Stiles…” For once, Derek didn’t seem to have any words left. He also hadn’t called Stiles by his name in ages—it was always “Baby” or “Babe”—so this had to be serious. Stiles bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.
“That’s really fucked up, you know that, right?” Derek looked at him, almost desperate.
“Why are all these books about men and women?” Derek pressed.
“The most messed-up ones are usually hetero, but—” He drew out the last word dramatically and grabbed the next book in the stack. “Good point, though,” he continued, placing it on the table. “Here’s a gay book. Do you know what the Omegaverse is?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.
“What?” Derek looked more confused than Stiles had ever seen him. “As in the letter?” he asked hesitantly, and Stiles shook his head, grinning.
“In the Omegaverse, there are Alphas, who are superior, like toxic alpha males think they are, and Omegas, who are submissive. That’s basically their gender. They can get pregnant, whether they’re male or female, and they go through something called heat, where they get super horny once a month, like cats and dogs.” He ran his finger over the sharp edges of the book, watching Derek as he seemed to go through all five stages of grief.
“You’re kidding,” Derek finally said.
Stiles shook his head with a mischievous grin. “Oh, and there’s something called knotting,” he continued. “It’s when the base of the—you know—swells so the Alpha can’t pull out. Like dogs,” he explained. Derek stared at him silently.
“Babe,” Derek whispered, aghast. Stiles almost felt bad for him.
“So, the main character in this book checks into what he thinks is a wellness center, but it’s actually a breeding center for Omegas. He gets knotted by multiple Alphas against his will but eventually likes it and—”
“Stiles,” Derek interrupted, snatching the book from his hands.
“I’m judging!” Derek declared loudly as Stiles threw his head back in laughter.
“We listen, and we don’t judge!” Stiles reminded him, but Derek got up from his chair. Stiles quickly grabbed his phone and started filming as Derek put his hands on his hips and paced the living room as though trying to recover from the shock.
“You’re sick,” Derek declared, pointing a finger at Stiles, though a grin was forming on his lips. Stiles laughed even harder.
“You’re sick,” Derek repeated. “You know that, right?” He buried his face in his hands.
“I’m never letting you read those books again!” he teased, stepping closer to Stiles. The camera shook as Stiles laughed so hard his abs hurt.
“Sick,” Derek whispered, cupping Stiles’ face in his hands. By now, he was too close to the camera, so Stiles knew he’d have to cut the footage short, as nothing was visible anymore.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Derek asked, giving Stiles that look—the one filled with love and disbelief, reserved only for moments when they were alone. Like he couldn’t believe how much he loved Stiles, despite how utterly fucked up he was.
“Sick!” Derek repeated, slightly louder this time, as he shoved Stiles away playfully but gently. Stiles laughed and stopped recording on his phone.
“I don’t even want to know what happens in the book on your nightstand,” Derek said, flopping over the back of the couch into the soft cushions.
“That’s also Omegaverse,” Stiles admitted. “I could’ve added it to the stack, but I’m not done with it yet,” he laughed, joining Derek on the couch. Derek stretched out across it, crossing his arms over his chest, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Does that get you off?” he asked almost too seriously. Stiles shrugged with a grin.
“A little,” he admitted. He didn’t need the books to get it up, but they definitely did something for him.
Shaking his head, Derek pulled him on top of him without missing a beat as Stiles clumsily settled against him, jabbing him in the ribs a little too often.
“I could play your mafia boss if you want,” Derek offered, making Stiles giggle. At first, Stiles wanted to decline, but the more he thought about it, the less terrible the idea seemed.
“Or your alien with long tentacles from some sex planet,” Derek suggested, and Stiles broke out laughing again.
“No, thanks,” he chuckled. “You can just be Derek,” he promised, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest.
“Would you film a part two with me?” Stiles asked, already knowing the answer.
“If the video gets 300,000 likes,” Derek replied, confident it was impossible for so many people to watch Stiles’ videos.
Little did he know, by the next day, Stiles would wake up with over 100,000 likes. It was only a matter of time before Derek got roped into more of Stiles’ secret fantasies.