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Finally. Mike arrived at the library, setting his bike down with the other bikes along the bike rack. He had needed a quiet place to sit with his own thoughts and find a good book to read. Recently, Mike had been struggling with his conflicting inner thoughts. But that wasn’t what he was here for. He was here for a book, not to solve all of his seemingly endless problems.
Upon entering the library, he immediately notices a shelf of books that catch his eye, the ‘Fiction’ section. As long as Mike had known, he and his best friend, Will, had always loved fiction books specifically. If anything, that’s where Mike would find a book he’d enjoy. Mike rushes over to the section of books, his legs moving at a slightly faster pace, but not enough to be considered as running.
After a while of browsing the section, Mike thinks he found a book he might like. ‘The Goldfinch’. Mike vaguely remembers Will recommending it to him once, and since his parents initially said no to buying it, now was his opportunity to read it. Still at the shelf, Mike opens the floppier than average book. Inside the pages is a letter…signed to his name? The weird part is that it doesn’t say who it’s from.. Mike is immediately curious and rushes over to a table. In one swift motion, he opens the letter. It reads:
“Dear Mike, why are you pushing me away? We don’t talk enough. Are we even still friends? It’s difficult, you know, acting like everything is fine between us. The worst part is that you give me just enough attention to keep my hopes up high, as if one day you’ll come running back to me. I guess you really know how to keep me waiting. Two summers ago, I almost told you the truth about something you might not like. I’ve been scared to tell you because, in all honesty, I was scared of the truth and the fact you might hate me if I told you. It makes me so aggravated how blind you’ve become, how much you’ve pushed me away or ignored me. If you haven’t already figured out the truth, I might as well tell you. Even if you hate me, no matter what you say. I have to tell you. This might come as a bit of a shock to you, trust me, I would be shocked too. So let me preface this by saying- I’m not expecting anything from you by saying this. I also thought that while I’m at it, I might as well tell you that I can understand if you’re disgusted and don’t want anything to do with me after this. Okay, enough stalling. I love you. I’m in love with you. Come on, laugh it up, but I’m not joking. It seems so wrong to tell you this. Especially after all the years I’ve been trying to hide it from you, from everyone. I used to assume that you saw right through me and just chose to ignore it. But now? I highly doubt that. Even if you were still just trying to ignore it the same way I was, I can’t anymore. I can’t ignore my feelings anymore, Mike. So yeah. I’m sure this is the last thing you wanted or were expecting today. I’m sorry.
Love, Crazy together.”
What was that? Mike is overcome with emotion. Confusion, nervousness, and almost..upset?
He sighs, slumping down into his chair. Mike doesn’t know what to think, but he doesn’t even want to try anymore. Everything he’s been doing recently has taken an emotional toll on him, finding the letter makes him even more exhausted. And sitting there thinking is forcing him to actually dwell on his own feelings and problems. Mike doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like being alone with his thoughts, it digs up things he buried years ago, and this letter is only worsening that problem for him.
He had sat there for what felt like hours, his head in his hands as he tried to work out his emotional turmoil when he finally was over it. He decided he needed to know who made this. He can’t keep going back and forth with himself any longer.
Then it hits him -he knows just the person to ask for help. His friend who knows almost everyone in town- Lucas. If anyone would know who wrote the letter, it would be him. Mike rushes out the doors of the library, accidentally knocking into someone in the process. He is about to yell back an apology before he realizes who it is.
“Nessa?!” Mike calls back after her. He’s shocked to see his sister at the library, it’s not a usual hangout spot for her.
Nessa immediately whips her head back at the sound of her brother’s voice. Her eyes are red and puffy, it seems like she’s been crying. She comes to a halt, stopping right in front of the doors to the library.
“Mike?” She immediately turns around, “What are you doing here?” Nessa asks.
Mike pulls out the letter he found in the book at the library, “Well, I initially came here for a book, but found a love letter addressed to me. Wanna tag along to Lucas’ house and see if we can figure out who wrote it?” Mike offered her.
Nessa sighed, “Sure, it’s not like I have anything better to do.” She then adds, “Who would write you a love letter anyways? I’m shocked.” Nessa says sarcastically.
They both walk side by side to the bike rack, Mike decides to engage in conversation. He thinks he knows why she’s here, but he’s not a hundred percent sure.
“Why did you come here?” Mike asks.
“Huh?” Nessa turns her head to face Mike, she feigns confusion, but he sees right through.
“Did you and dad get into another fight?” Mike gets straight to the point.
“Yeah.” Nessa mumbles, mounting her bike, seeming like she wants to get away from the conversation.. Mike decides to drop the conversation, but he knows that it means their dad is back from his business trip- and he’s mad.
Mike sighs, also mounting his bike, riding right beside Nessa as they head along to Lucas’ house. He hates that his sister rarely tells him anything anymore. In fact- nobody tells Mike anything anymore. He hates that. But that’s not the center of his problems right now, so he brushes it off and starts pedaling on to Lucas’ house.
When they arrive at Lucas’ house, it is later in the day, around five or six in the evening. Both Mike and Nessa present the letter to Lucas.
“So, what exactly did you come here for?” Lucas asks, examining the letter with a raised eyebrow.
“You know people. Got any idea who might have a crush on Mike?” Nessa says it like it’d be the most obvious thing in the world.
Lucas looks stumped, “I’m not sure, but it’s safe to assume that this person has known you for a while. Also- it doesn’t sound like a minor crush. This person seems deeply in love with you, and they don’t seem happy about it.” Lucas decides.
“They don’t seem happy about it? Where did you get that impression?” Mike asks.
Lucas gives me a neutral look and an eye roll, “They act like they don’t want to be in love with you, like it’s not fun. Either they don’t enjoy being in love with you for unknown reasons or you treat them like trash.”
I return the eye roll, “Whatever. What’s your point? You got any ideas on who it is or am I wasting my time, Decker?” I use Lucas’ last name.
“No, I haven’t got a clue. I’m not good at analyzing stuff. Have you considered talking to Will? He’s always good with that stuff.” Lucas suggests.
I didn’t want to even consider that as an option. “No, that’s off the board, I don’t want to..bother him.” Mike lies. Mike knows that Will isn’t busy, in fact, he’d probably be thrilled to come and hang out with us. Mike’s been avoiding Will and almost everyone knows it. They don’t dare bring it up or ask why but he’s sure all his friends have figured it out at this point, though he won’t even admit it to himself or even dare thinking about it.
Nessa sighs, rolling her eyes. “Are you serious, Mike? You’ve been ignoring Will all week, it’s time you just face it and-”
She is cut off with Lucas’s nervous, shaky voice, “Okay, stop arguing. I’m just going to call Will over and we’ll all figure this out together. Not a big deal.”
Nessa continued after Lucas’ interruption, “Like I was saying- just face it and talk to him, don’t be acting like this. You know how that went last time.”
Mike sighed and rolled his eyes a bit, “Yeah. We got into a big fight and I said stuff I shouldn’t have.” His tone was flat and upset.
“Well, I suppose that Lucas does have a point though. We should invite Will over, regardless of if he’s going to help with the letter or not. Because-let’s face it- you’ve been ignoring him and everyone can see it.” Nessa said.
Mike rolled his eyes, sighing and reluctantly agreed, “Fine.”
Lucas went over to the phone, playing with the cord as he waited for Will to answer. After a few long minutes of back and forthing on the phone Will had decided to come, against his own will according to Lucas.
“Yeah, dude, he made a big deal about it and everything. Even tried to protest one last time so I just hung up. He seemed pretty tense.” Lucas had told the others.
When Will arrived, he seemed angry and upset, which was unlike his usual bright and happy self. Mike wasn’t sure why he seemed so upset, but he brushed it off and got straight to the point about the letter.
“Will, do you think you know who wrote it? Or any clues they might have given to let us know who wrote it? Or just anything in general helps..” Mike said, his tone a bit softer than it was just minutes before.
When replying, Will seemed upset and a slight tinge of anger in his voice, “I don’t know, Mike. There’s probably something there that we’re missing.”
Will opened his mouth to say something again but paused, biting his tongue. He turned away and back to focus on the letter.
“Maybe there are clues hidden within the words?” Will suggested, his voice softer this time, as if trying to hide any emotions that might be revealed through his tone.
Lucas, Nessa, and Mike went back to the letter, but Mike’s focus was barely on that. He was more worried about Will’s behavior, but as he looked at him and their eyes held contact for a minute, he knew he wouldn’t get a response. There was too much in the way, too many things that Mike felt like he couldn’t say. Mike reluctantly turned his attention back to the letter.
Will shifted uncomfortably from where he was standing, remaining silent, nobody seemed to notice Will’s obvious discomfort. The tension in the room was palpable, Will not wanting to speak up or tear attention away from the letter. Will broke the silence.
“Hey guys, I think I’m gonna go..Not feeling very well.” Will said, practically mumbling. He grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder quickly and heading for the door while everyone said their goodbyes in unison.
“That was weird. Did that seem weird to anyone else?” Lucas said once they were sure Will had left.
“Yeah..” Mike said, sighing a little. Mike knew there was something Will wasn’t telling them and he was determined to know what was going on.
“Well, let’s focus on the letter, okay?” Nessa said, directing her words to Mike, who seemed deep in thought.
“Yeah. Okay.” Mike said reluctantly. He knew there was something he wasn’t picking up on, but he turned his attention back to the letter anyways.
With Mike’s attention back on the letter, he looked down at the paper to re-read it. What he wasn’t expecting was to actually find something. He looked down at the letter, reading the words “Love, crazy together.”
Crazy together. Mike was surprised he hadn’t immediately recognized the term when he first read the letter.
“Crazy together..” Mike mumbled to himself, then louder, “Crazy together!” He seemed to be cluing something together, something the others didn’t pick up on.
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October 31st, 1984 : The Wheeler’s Residence living room
“I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy.” Mike had said, turning to look at Will who was sitting next to him on the couch.
“Yeah..Me too.” Will replied, still looking down at his hands.
“Hey Will, if we’re both going crazy then, we’ll go crazy together. Right?”
“Yeah,” Will paused to look at Mike, “Crazy together.”
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Mike left abruptly, the others making no attempt to go after him, but Mike knew what he had to do. He had to make things right with Will.
Closing the front door shut, Mike set off, biking in the rain with a new sense of determination. His raincoat was doing no help, his clothing already soaking wet after barely having been in the rain. As the rain pelted on the roads, it became more difficult to bike. Still, Mike was determined to know if what he was thinking was really the truth.
After a long 2 miles of biking in pouring rain, Mike was finally at Will’s house. He was at his doorstep, drenched in rain with his hair soaking wet, water dripping from it. He was overcome with relief when Will opened the door, even though nerves were flying through him.
Will looked shocked that Mike had come to his house, especially in the pouring rain. His mouth dropped open and breathing hard.
Mike knew it was now or never.
“Will, did you-” Mike started to say before he was cut off by Will’s words.
“I wrote it.” Will said, seemingly nervous but with a newfound sense of confidence. Perhaps the fact Mike had come 2 miles in pouring rain was enough to give him the confidence he needed to tell him the one thing he needed to know.
Mike’s mouth hung open, his breath hitching . He was shocked, his eyes widened, but he was nonetheless happy.
The letter. Will wrote the letter. Those were three words Mike never expected Will to say, but Mike had never been happier to hear him saying them.