Work Text:
Soshiro blinked blearily at the digital report he was supposed to be reading for Captain Ashiro, the small words sliding in and out of focus. The only thing illuminating his dark office was the computer sitting on his desk, the screen giving off a soft blue light. His hand that wasn’t occupied with moving his mouse was underneath his chin, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his cheek. Halfway through reading a paragraph of the report, Soshiro realized he had zoned out and started again, attempting to absorb the words that seemed to mock him by refusing to compute in his tired brain.
Everyone else had gone home for the day to their homes, friends, and families, leaving Soshiro scowling at his computer alone in the giant military base. Only two weeks had passed since he’d returned to the Third Division from mandatory eight-week postnatal leave, but he could feel himself getting frustrated. The number of assignments that needed attending to never seemed to dwindle in amount, no matter how many statistics he read or subjugation exercises he approved for his officers. After hours of tedious labor, it felt as if an anvil had settled in between his shoulder blades to weigh him down.
Despite that, Soshiro was filled with restless energy. His leg bounced up and down rapidly underneath his desk, his knee occasionally hitting the bottom of the hard wood and making him wince. Much to his vexation, he couldn’t do anything about his excess adrenaline. He was barred from being deployed to fight in sorties until at least six months after giving birth, possibly even longer if deemed necessary, leaving him stuck with office duties and overseeing training sessions. All important tasks, of course, but Soshiro itched to hear his blades sing through the air and feel them cut through the tough hide of a kaiju.
Soshiro glanced at the framed photo that sat on top of his desk next to his computer, a twinge of longing making his heart ache. In the photo, Soshiro was lying in a hospital bed with Gen standing next to him, Soshiro’s normally well-groomed hair greasy and uncombed. His cheeks were sunken with exhaustion after being in labor for almost thirty hours, but the smile he had on his face was genuine and full of pride as he watched Gen softly.
Gen was holding the newest member of their small family, and for once, was not paying any attention whatsoever to the camera. Instead, he was completely and utterly enraptured by the small infant cradled in his arms, swaddled in a pink blanket and sleeping contently. A purple Defense Force wool beanie sat on top of the baby’s little head, which had been proudly hand-knitted and given to Soshiro by Okonogi.
The three of them were engrossed in their own little world, oblivious to anything else except that singular moment in time. It was Soshiro’s favorite picture, and he had copies stashed in various different places in case something happened to the one on his desk.
The incoming scent of cedarwood and gunpowder pulled Soshiro from his thoughts, and he looked up from his desk just as there was a knock on the other side of his door. He immediately knew who it was, and sure enough, Mina opened the door and slipped into his office. Soshiro got to his feet, his chair scraping harshly against the tile floor, but Mina held up a hand to stop him before he even had the chance to salute.
“No need to stand on ceremony, Hoshina,” Mina said, approaching his desk. “I’m not here on business.”
Soshiro sat back down in his chair, and Mina’s nostrils flared in surprise at the scent of irritation curling around the room. She cocked an eyebrow at him in questioning, and Soshiro couldn’t help but smile sheepishly. Her reaction wasn’t entirely unwarranted, considering it was rare for Soshiro to let his emotions affect his composure. He cleared his throat, shuffling paperwork around on his desk to be organized and put away later.
“Do you need somethin’, Captain?” Soshiro asked curiously. “Why are you still here, anyway? It’s quite late. If you’re here about the report, I’ll make sure to have it done in a few hours.”
“I just said I wasn’t here on business,” Mina sighed. She tilted her head and crossed her arms over her chest, looking very much like a disapproving parent. “And as for why I’m still here, I could ask the same of you. It’s half-past midnight, Hoshina.”
Has it really gotten that late already?
It was Soshiro’s turn to sigh as he glanced at the report still pulled up on his computer, using his mouse to scroll and see how many pages he still had left to complete. Far too many, for his tastes. “I still have some work I need to finish up before leaving for the night. After all, I’m behind in my duties since I took so many weeks off.”
Mina’s gaze softened, and she uncrossed her arms before walking around the side of his desk to look at his computer screen. Soshiro moved his chair over to allow her more access, and Mina hummed in the back of her throat as she read over what he had so far. Being that close, Soshiro could make out the subtle wisps of saltwater that hid in Mina’s scent. Mina had a naturally strong scent as an alpha, and Soshiro let it waft over him and soothe his frustration. It wasn’t the actual scent that he wanted to be bathed in, but Mina was familiar and safe and Gen was miles away, most likely gaming on his Switch or BS5 in their apartment.
“Your quality of work is going to decrease if you push yourself too hard, especially since you just got back from leave,” Mina reasoned, her eyes still on his computer, bringing Soshiro back to the present.
“It ain- isn’t going to take me too long to finish up,” Soshiro said, internally cringing at almost using such informal speech in front of his Captain. He must have been more tired than he realized if he was reverting back to Kansai, even knowing he was on-duty.
If Mina caught his slip she didn’t comment, and the room was silent as she continued to skim her eyes over the report. Eventually she nodded in approval, and before Soshiro could stop her, Mina took his mouse, saved his work, and closed out the report.
Soshiro squawked in indignation, sputtering protests as Mina stood up straight again. She leveled her gaze at him, her eyes bright with mischief but the square of her shoulders demanding authority. Soshiro wisely shut his trap and sat up straight in his chair, his hands folded neatly in his lap while he waited for his Captain to speak.
“Go home to your family, Hoshina,” Mina said, her voice holding a note of finality. Soshiro opened his mouth to argue anyway, but he conceded at the withering glare Mina sent his way.
Mina was not a domineering alpha that used her status to control others, just as Soshiro was the furthest thing from a submissive omega that folded after one harsh word. No, that wasn’t what kept Soshiro’s words of retortion locked behind his teeth to rattle around his throat. It was respect, built up over years upon years of trusting each other with their lives in battle and witnessing their respective accomplishments and hardships firsthand.
“Roger, Captain,” Soshiro finally said, and Mina nodded in approval. She maneuvered around his desk again and started for the door, her heels clacking lightly against the floor.
“Good. I expect you to clock out within the next ten minutes. If not, expect a formal reprimand tomorrow morning,” she said. She didn’t give him a second glance as she opened his office door and left to return to her own duties, but Soshiro could have sworn he saw a small smile sat upon her lips. He huffed out a laugh, sitting back in his chair and shaking his head.
“You’ve got me beat, Captain,” Soshiro mused to himself. He sat there for a moment, listening to the air ring with blissful silence, before letting out a sigh and standing up from his chair.
He had a leather satchel that he used to carry paperwork to and from work, and he grabbed it from where it hung on the coat rack in the corner of his office. He opened the flap, putting a few papers inside that he could work on the next morning over coffee. He closed the flap and fastened it when he was finished, lifting the satchel strap over his head so the bag was sitting diagonally across his body.
Soshiro powered off his computer last, plunging his office into complete darkness. He knew his way around the room well enough that he could make it to the door without light, and he did so after making sure his phone was secured in his pocket. He locked his office door behind him and walked down the quiet halls of Tachikawa base, the large space devoid of people at such a late hour.
Soshiro made his way out of the base and into the parking lot, his breath immediately forming a white cloud around him in the crisp night air. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and sped up his pace, making his way towards the train station that was located only a few minutes walk from the base.
The train ride back to his and Gen’s apartment was normally bearable, only taking around an hour or so, but that night the ride felt as if he were going to Hokkaido instead of Shinjuku. Soshiro was constantly restless, shifting in his seat every few minutes and adjusting and readjusting his jacket over his shoulders.
It was unusual for him to be so impatient, and he told himself it was because he was anxious to collapse onto his bed and fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. It certainly wasn’t because he was looking forward to seeing two familiar faces waiting for him, one with a sharp jawline and sharp eyes and the other rounded out by baby fat and youth.
Soshiro practically sprinted off the train when it arrived at his stop, speed-walking out of the station and into the cold, sharp air of the night surrounding the streets above. He still had a couple of blocks to walk, and he didn’t slow his pace as he weaved his way through the city.
They lived in a quaint part of Shinjuku, surrounded by numerous good-quality restaurants that were ideal for date nights since they were within walking distance of their apartment. A few lone trees were dotted among the streets, their green leaves long since carried away by the wind of winter. A church stood proud just a few blocks away from their apartment, its high towers holding their own amongst the tall skyscrapers surrounding them.
It was the same church where Soshiro and Gen had gotten married, saying their vows in front of a crowd of JAKDF officers, Gen’s bayonet at his side and Soshiro’s swords strapped to his back. While it was mostly for symbolism, they had also brought their weapons to the service on the account that they were deployed at any point during the ceremony. However, their weapons had gone unused, and the entire wedding had gone off without a hitch. It seemed even kaiju had a sense of decorum.
Soshiro turned a corner and continued walking until he reached a standard-looking apartment building. He opened the door and walked through, nodding hello at the security guard before pushing the button to the elevator with more force than what was strictly necessary. He tapped his foot on the ground while he waited, every second feeling like an eternity until the elevator finally dinged to announce its arrival.
Soshiro stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the ninth floor, taking his phone out of his pocket and tapping the screen to check the time. The small screen flashed 02:26 a.m. back at him, and Soshiro winced. Mina had been right; it really was late. He was going to be lucky if he managed to get two hours of sleep before waking up at five a.m. to go back to work.
It wasn’t unusual for both Gen and Soshiro to work late nights with their statuses as Captain and Vice-Captain, respectively, but ever since getting married and becoming official mates they had made it a point to always get home early enough that they could spend time together before going to sleep. It was one of the many aspects of their daily routine that Soshiro loved, alongside getting to walk with Gen to the train station and pressing a tender kiss to his lips before they went their separate ways.
The only thing that changed after their daughter was born was that Gen now had a cooing baby strapped to his chest as he walked Soshiro to the train in the mornings, and Soshiro had two goodbye kisses to give before leaving for Tachikawa base. It was sappy and domestic and something Soshiro had never thought he could have until he had met Gen, but he knew he wouldn’t sacrifice it for anything in the world.
Soshiro finally stepped off the elevator on his floor and pulled his keys out of his pocket, making sure to select the correct key before turning the lock and stepping into the foyer. It was only when the thick wooden door closed behind him, leaving Soshiro alone in the walkway, that he felt like he could breathe for the first time since that morning.
“I’m home,” Soshiro whispered into the quiet air before toeing off his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack. He didn’t see a familiar head of two-toned hair waiting for him, but Gen’s boots were placed in their usual spot on the rack, so Soshiro knew he was somewhere mingling around their home. The thought made him smile, and Soshiro made quick work of shrugging off his jacket and hanging it up in the small closet they had in the entryway before walking down the dark hallway into the kitchen.
Soshiro had expected the kitchen to be a mess of dirty dishes and spilled food – the usual aftermath of Gen attempting to cook dinner – but he was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with clean countertops and an empty kitchen sink. Soshiro was about to continue into the living room when something caught his eye, and he paused.
A lone bowl of food was set on the marble kitchen counter, plastic wrap covering it to keep the food underneath protected from the surrounding air and moisture. A bright neon sticky note was attached on top, and Soshiro stepped closer to read it. For my bowl-cut bastard was written on the sticky note in Gen’s usual chicken-scratch writing, and Soshiro swallowed down a lump of emotion in his throat.
He hadn’t asked Gen to save him dinner, knowing he was going to be working late, but of course his stubborn mate had refused to listen to him and made him food anyway. It made Soshiro’s heart do backflips against his ribs, and he was reminded how he fell a little bit more in love with his stupid husband everyday.
Before he could dwell on any more sappy thoughts, Soshiro left the kitchen and entered the connected living room. The lights were off, muting the colors of the room, but much like his office inside Tachikawa base, he didn’t need to see to know the outline of the room.
The couch was pressed against the wall adjacent to the kitchen, a medium-sized coffee table in front of the couch that held a singular empty cola bottle sitting on a coaster. The television was mounted to the wall that was opposite of the couch, the screen offering the only source of light in the room as it played one of those cheesy cop shows that Gen loved and Soshiro found exasperating. The volume was down almost as low as it could go, the normally loud gunshots from the show sounding as if they were being fired from underwater.
Gen was lounging in the middle of the couch with a blanket covering his lap, an empty bowl sitting next to his feet on the floor that must have contained popcorn at some point, if the smell of butter and salt was anything to go by. His hair was out of the slicked-back style he wore while working, leaving it flat against his head so the tips of it were brushing into his eyes. It was evident he was fading in and out of sleep, his head dropping back against the couch before he picked it back up again and blinked to keep himself awake. Under different circumstances Soshiro would have stopped to consider how endearing it was, but his attention was already elsewhere.
Miho, their two-month old daughter, was sound asleep in her father’s arms while Gen held her to his chest protectively, one hand on the back of her purple onesie and the other under her rump. Miho sucked on her tiny thumb in her sleep, a thin trail of drool escaping her mouth to land on Gen’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. Soshiro’s heartbeat quickened in anticipation and he quietly tiptoed across the room, taking care to avoid the toys strewn across the wooden floor. Gen noticed him approaching and smiled at him sleepily, and Soshiro didn’t try to hide his own smile as he finally reached the two members of his small family.
“Whaddaya still doin’ awake, my love?” Soshiro asked in lieu of a hello, running a hand over the top of Gen’s fluffy hair. It needed to be brushed, stray black and white pieces sticking up every which way.
“Wanted to wait for you,” Gen said, his voice scratchy from not being used for multiple hours. A surge of fondness rushed to Soshiro's chest, and he felt the tips of his ears heating up. He leaned over and gave Gen a delicate but heartfelt kiss on the lips, and Gen’s pheromones began to be released into the air as he relaxed. The heavy scent of white musk, vanilla, and something metallic but floral blanketed Soshiro’s senses, blocking out the rest of the world and making him dizzy.
Soshiro was broken out of his hypnosis when Miho gurgled in the back of her throat, immediately reminding him of his mission. Soshiro broke the kiss and Gen loosened his hold on Miho automatically, allowing Soshiro to take her into his arms without protest. Miho’s solid weight against Soshiro’s chest seemed to take off an invisible burden that sat on his shoulders, and he buried his nose into the small tufts of black hair on Miho’s head.
Her milky scent immediately overtook him, laced with notes of chamomile and freshly cut grass. Soshiro lifted his head from Miho’s hair to rub at the scent glands on her chubby neck with his nose, taking his time to slowly scent her until his omega instincts were completely satiated.
Soshiro’s anxiety faded away into a distant memory as he stood there and just breathed for a moment, memorizing every inch of the small body in his arms that depended on him for protection and life. His omega hindbrain whispered mine mine mine, and for once, the rest of him was in complete agreement.
Miho was something he and Gen had made on their own, despite the hardships they faced slaying kaiju and fear of never knowing when they would say goodbye to each other in the morning for the last time. She was theirs, and Soshiro would be damned if she didn’t know how much she was loved until the day he would inevitably be ripped away from her.
Miho stirred in his arms, and Soshiro leaned his head back again as Miho picked her head up off his chest. She opened her slender eyes and looked at him, and she let out a soft coo in recognition before using one of her small hands to grab at Soshiro’s nose.
Soshiro almost melted on the spot into a pathetic puddle on the floor, and he nuzzled into the squishy palm of Miho’s hand with his nose. Miho let out a loud giggle as she wiggled her fingers, and Soshiro grinned in satisfaction. The speed at which Miho could shut down any intelligent thoughts he had was truly humbling, but she was more than worth it.
Miho was the perfect mix of both of them. The curve of her nose and mouth reflected Gen in every way, but her thin eyebrows and narrow eye shape were an exact duplicate of Soshiro’s own facial features. Her lavender-colored irises were lighter in color than those of Soshiro’s purple eyes, but he knew there was always a chance of Miho’s eye color darkening as she got older.
Her hair, however, was all Gen – black, wild, and untameable fuzz that Soshiro already knew was going to be a pain to brush out once it got longer. Gen had already asked about dyeing the front part of her hair white to match his, but Soshiro had promptly shut that idea down on the account that it was a decision Miho could make for herself once she was old enough (and for his own sanity).
“I fed her around three hours ago, so she might be hungry again,” Gen spoke up, his words a little slurred as he fought to keep himself awake. Soshiro was dragged back to reality by his voice, and noticed Gen watching him out of the corner of his vision.
Soshiro lifted one finger to Miho’s mouth, running the pad of it gently over Miho’s bottom lip. Miho chased after his finger, nibbling on it once she successfully got it in her mouth. Soshiro huffed out a laugh and carefully took his finger back, wiping it on the side of his shirt.
“I’ll go feed her, then,” Soshiro said quietly after confirming Miho was hungry. “When’s the last time ya changed her diaper?”
“Like… twenty minutes ago?” Gen said, yawning as he rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “It was right before you got home, so the little miss is good for now.”
“Thank you for doin’ that, love,” Soshiro said, and Gen nodded in response before pulling the blanket up to his chin and getting comfortable. Soshiro smiled fondly and shifted Miho to one arm, brushing his newly-freed fingers through Gen’s thick hair. Gen hummed and leaned into the contact, closing his eyes and letting himself sink back into the couch cushions.
Soshiro removed his hand from Gen’s hair after a few moments and left the living room so Gen could sleep, making his way towards their bedroom. He had to smirk as he considered the irony of the situation, because it was common knowledge that Narumi Gen was a chronic insomniac. He was always staying up until the unholy hours of the morning doing God-knows-what, or simply pulling an all-nighter to train or play video games. That hadn’t changed when he and Soshiro became mates or officially got married. Soshiro remembered when Gen had started to change his habits as he walked down the dark hallway of their home, Miho held in his arms securely.
It was only when Miho was born that Gen started to actually sleep at night, exhausted from the overwhelming task of caring for a newborn. Soshiro was the only one required to wake up in the middle of the night so he could feed Miho, but to his enormous surprise, Gen had woken up with him every single night and stayed up with him the entire time.
While Soshiro had never told Gen directly, words couldn’t describe how grateful he was to have a partner that cared about him so deeply. Having Gen with him had made those midnight feedings much easier, even when Gen was so tired that all he could do was trail sleepy kisses up and down Soshiro’s neck while he held his mate and daughter in his arms from behind.
When Soshiro arrived at their bedroom he went inside and sat down on the bed, tucking his legs underneath him while he got comfortable. He positioned the cushions around and behind him to support his back and sides, ensuring he was kept upright and wouldn’t tip over to the side. Soshiro laid Miho on her back on top of the soft blankets while he stripped off his black compression shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor to be picked up and put into the laundry room in the morning. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief as the cool air hit his exposed skin, some of the tension in his shoulders melting away.
Even though Soshiro’s breasts were not nearly as large as a female omega’s would be, only protruding four to five centimeters off his chest, they were still sore and tender. He loved his compression shirt – especially the way it made his back muscles look – but the way it rubbed against his sensitive nipples when he moved sent bolts of pain shooting through him.
He could temporarily wear a bra until his breasts shrunk back down to their normal pre-pregnancy size again, as Gen had pointed out a few weeks prior after witnessing him groan and huff his way through getting dressed in the morning. However, the very idea of strapping such a tight article of clothing around his chest had Soshiro curling his lips in disgust. As much as he hated it, he might have to take Gen’s suggestion of wearing loose shirts for the time being; at least until Miho stopped nursing so frequently.
Shifting his attention back to the infant on the bed, Soshiro tickled Miho’s tummy, making her squeal and kick her feet in the air. He grinned before scooping Miho into his arms, settling her small form against his chest. He led her mouth towards the nipple of his right breast, holding himself steady until Miho latched on and began to nurse. The familiar tugging sensation spread throughout his chest alongside a rush of warmth that made him shiver, and Soshiro let himself lean back against the cushions. He released pheromones naturally as Miho nursed that held his own scent of magnolia and sandalwood, the sweet smell drifting through the air.
Soshiro had a bottle in the refrigerator that he could have warmed up on the stove to feed Miho with, but the thought had his subconscious recoiling. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but the moment Miho latched on, something had unraveled deep within his very being. He needed the physical connection that nursing brought after being apart from Miho for the entire day, and the revelation both fascinated and terrified him.
After Miho was done on the right side, Soshiro burped her before guiding her to latch onto his left nipple. While Miho drank her fill, Soshiro began to hum a tune absentmindedly. It was one he had long forgotten the name and lyrics of, but the melody remained etched into his heart no matter how many years passed. He thinks it might have been a lullaby his mother sang to him and Soichiro when they were children, but the peaceful days of his youth had been buried in the ground with his mother’s gentle smile decades ago.
Before getting pregnant with Miho, Soshiro had never considered the possibility that he could be a mother. Joining the Defense Force had meant suppressing his status and scent as an omega if he wanted to earn any respect from his higher-ups and peers, and resisting his instincts until people automatically assumed him to be a beta.
Even before then, as a child he would watch people swoon over his alpha elder brother while giving Soshiro looks of such overwhelming pity that it made him nauseous. His own father would pat his head and tell him to give up on the Defense Force, a mournful look in his purple eyes. The age of the sword was over, and as an omega, Soshiro needed to stay within the walls of the clan’s estate. He needed to stay safe.
Mina had been the first person to ever call his bluff. She was a powerful alpha, and she had probably known from their very first meeting that Soshiro wasn’t the beta he desperately wished to be. She had caught him one night after he had forgotten to take his heat suppressants, weak and shaking as he made his way down the hall towards the barracks, and they had both frozen in their tracks. Soshiro still remembered the fear that pulsed inside him at the thought of Mina turning on her heel and immediately reporting him for identity fraud to the higher-ups. Omegas weren’t normally allowed on the front lines, after all.
Instead, Mina had simply lifted his arm around her to support his weight and helped him limp back to his bed. She had left without a word, and she never brought it up again aside from threatening to discharge him if he ever put his health in danger like that again.
Soshiro was a little more lax about his secondary gender identity after that, and by the time he’d been promoted to Vice-Captain of the Third Division, the fact that he was an omega was relatively common knowledge. Even then, Soshiro had vowed to never let his secondary gender get in the way of his duty to slay kaiju and train new recruits as Mina’s Vice-Captain.
That plan went flying out the window the moment he met Captain Narumi Gen of the First Division.
They had gotten on each other’s nerves from the moment they met, and the fact that Soshiro roasted Narumi relentlessly whenever they were in the same room certainly didn’t help matters. Captain Narumi just reacted so delightfully each and every time, and the fact that he was an alpha didn’t discourage Soshiro from pushing the Captain to see how far he could go.
It was only when Narumi pinned Soshiro to a wall one day after a spar session, his pink eyes blown wide and breaths coming out in winded pants, that Soshiro thought he had finally taken his teasing too far. Then Captain Narumi had pressed their lips together urgently while beginning to palm the heat between his legs, and suddenly Soshiro wasn’t thinking at all.
Their quick fuck sessions turned into a friends with benefits situation, and then it became dates with shy hand-holding and tentative goodbye kisses. Narumi turned into Gen, and the next thing Soshiro knew, Gen was down on one knee and he was in front of an altar saying I do.
The product of their union was in his arms, and Soshiro burped Miho a final time once she unlatched from his nipple. She yawned, full and content, showing off the pink gums inside her mouth that hadn’t yet grown teeth. Soshiro kissed her forehead fondly and stood up with some difficulty, padding across the room to her crib. He lay her down on the firm mattress, stroking her soft hair as Miho wiggled to get comfortable.
“I love you,” Soshiro murmured. Even though Miho couldn’t understand him yet, he still felt the need to say it as if she could. He pulled his hands back and placed them on the crib’s protective railing, gripping the wood so hard the blood left his knuckles and painted them white.
It was only when the wood threatened to crack underneath his fingers that he let go, hiding his shaking hands by fisting at the material of his pants. Miho finally settled in her crib, letting out one final yawn before resting the side of her face against the mattress. She was asleep in seconds, leaving the room quiet except for the small noises Miho made as she dreamed.
His limbs stiffer than titanium, Soshiro forced himself to turn away from Miho’s crib. He walked over to the closet he and Gen shared, pulling one of Gen’s ratty old t-shirts over his head. The fabric was heavenly against his skin, softened by years of usage, and the fit was large enough that it hung loosely on his lithe frame and didn’t constrict his sore chest. He lifted the collar of the shirt and pressed his nose against it, Gen’s heady scent seeping into his veins like manuka honey.
The mere second of distraction offered to him was scattered when Miho babbled in her sleep behind him, and Soshiro let the shirt fall out of his grasp. The omega instinct inside him screamed at him to run back to Miho, lift her into his arms, and never let her let go, even when she was grown enough to walk away on her own two legs.
He had to force himself to not look back at Miho’s crib as he walked out of the bedroom. Every step that carried him further away felt like he was leaving an important piece of himself behind, and he did his best to ignore the tears building up in his eyes. It was suffocating, and Soshiro was quickly losing any resemblance of emotional stability he might have had as he headed back towards the living room.
He thought back to an event that had happened a few days prior. Soshiro had been in the middle of reviewing training exercises for the new recruitments when his phone lit up, Gen’s name flashing on the screen. It wasn’t unusual for Gen to call and pester him during the day, so Soshiro had picked up on the first ring. He put his phone against his ear, only to immediately pull it away as Gen’s screeching assaulted his eardrums.
For the briefest instant Soshiro had assumed the worst, imagining various different horrible scenarios that Gen or Miho could have found themselves in. His worries were effectively erased a few seconds later when Gen started babbling again, and Soshiro could clearly picture Gen rocking back and forth in excitement as if they were talking in person.
“You’re never gonna believe this, Sosh’,” Gen gushed, barely able to contain himself. “Miho and I were on the living room floor playing, and I realized I left my water on the coffee table so I stood up to grab it. I was behind Miho so she couldn’t see me and she started getting upset, so I picked her up and guess what, Sosh’? She calmed right down! And you know what she did then? She smiled at me! Smiled! Oh, my God; I think I’m gonna cry.”
Soshiro had been just as ecstatic as Gen. It was a major milestone that Miho reached, and further proof that she was developing to be healthy and strong no matter what Soshiro’s insecurities insisted. However, there was a small, ugly part of himself that whispered he was a bad parent for missing such an important moment by choosing to go to work instead.
When Soshiro and Gen were about to return to active duty, they had trouble finding a daycare that wasn’t full and would accept an infant as young as Miho on such short notice. Gen, who was still on paid parental leave at the time since he had (purposefully) forgotten to fill out the paperwork to return to duty, offered to watch Miho as a temporary solution.
Soshiro had been reluctant on the account that Gen couldn’t be away from the Defense Force for too long, but after days of Gen’s griping and whining, he had finally caved to his whims. Soshiro had returned to active duty and Gen had stayed home on paid leave, and all the while Miho kept reaching new milestones every day.
Every time Gen sent Soshiro a message that Miho had made a new sound or learned to recognize a new object, Soshiro felt his ribs contract with longing to experience those joys alongside Gen in person and not just over a phone. Soshiro’s job required a lot of his time and effort; that was a fact he was well aware of even before he and Gen became mates and Miho was born. Despite that, Soshiro was overtaken by an overwhelming sense of grief at how much time he truly had to spend away from his family, alongside a deep terror that he was missing Miho growing up right in front of his eyes.
Soshiro made it back to the living room without crumpling to the floor by a miracle and a half, but by the time he could see the glow of the television reflecting off the living room wall, he had lost his composure.
His normally sweet and soothing scent was taken over by the sharp scent of misery accompanied by the acidic tang of desperate longing. Gen was asleep under the blankets, snoring softly with his head resting against the back of the couch, but he stirred as Soshiro fully entered the darkened living room. His sour scent spread over the entire room from corner to corner, until the air itself was singed with his cascading emotions.
Gen was alert in an instant and he grunted before snapping his head up, the muscles in his face and neck tensing with apprehension. A low warning growl emerged from the back of his throat as he bared his teeth, the alpha’s sharp canines to be on full display even with the low lighting.
The magenta glow of RT-0001 swept across the room, scanning for any enemies that could have caused such a powerful scent of distress from his mate. Soshiro held his breath as Gen’s gaze finally landed on him, and Gen looked him up and down to check him for any physical or internal injuries. When he was satisfied that Soshiro wasn’t physically injured they locked eyes, and Soshiro had to resist the urge to flinch.
Even after all of the years of working and being together as both mates and husbands, Soshiro couldn’t help but be unnerved everytime he looked into the eyes of Kaiju No. 1. They were a persistent reminder that a part of Gen, no matter how small, would never be human again.
And yet, even though some of the higher-ups sneered at Gen behind his back and called him a monster living in human skin, not once had Soshiro been afraid. Cautious and a little wary, maybe, but never afraid. Not when Gen was so warm and so gentle, wrapping his arms around Soshiro’s waist and peppering featherlight kisses against his jaw until Soshiro broke out into a fit of giggles and tried to push him away. Gen would give him that stupid grin that he had learned to love and only hold on tighter, not giving in until both of them ended up tangled together on the floor and breathless with more than just exertion.
Soshiro sometimes caught himself wondering what Gen saw when he looked at him with those beautiful kaiju eyes; when his every nerve and synapse were laid bare for Gen to pick apart and prod. He wondered if he had a strong internal flow, like the rest of his clan was partial to having; or if his insides were just as small and insignificant as himself, deserving of the pity everyone always seemed so eager to give.
If Gen reached out, plucking his spine like the string of a violin, would sound reverberate through his limbs and sing through the tips of his swords? Or would his ligaments crumble into dust, leaving him to collapse into a pile of muscle and bones?
Eventually, the glow of RT-0001 slowly faded, and Gen’s usual pink eyes returned to study Soshiro contemplatively as he once again relaxed against the back of the couch. Soshiro couldn’t hide the way his bottom lip wobbled dangerously underneath Gen’s scrutiny, and Gen made a noise of concern in the back of his throat. He lifted up the blanket he was under by a corner, spreading his arms wide in a clear invitation.
“C’mere, baby,” Gen murmured, and Soshiro hiccuped before crossing the room in less than five steps. He sunk into the couch and wrapped his arms around Gen, shoving his face into his shirt. He was immediately surrounded by Gen’s calming scent as Gen readjusted the blanket around them and took Soshiro into his arms, nuzzling into his hair and sighing contently.
“I finally get to hold you again,” Gen said, his words slightly muffled by Soshiro’s hair, and Soshiro’s throat ached with the tears he was just barely holding back. The blanket created a cocoon of warmth around them, and pressed against Gen’s solid body, he finally felt completely safe for the first time since leaving home that morning. Gen shifted against him, pressing a kiss on the top of his head. “Missed you, Sosh’.”
Gen had gotten much more comfortable with verbalizing his affection over the years, and it was his words that made Soshiro’s strength dissolve into nothing. His tears finally spilled over, racing down his cheeks while his breaths came in shorter and shorter gasps. It was as if everything he had tried to hold back was surging to the surface, and it wasn’t long before he was openly sobbing into Gen’s chest.
He tried to be quiet so there was no possibility of Miho hearing from the bedroom and waking up, but the more Soshiro attempted to stifle his sobs the stronger they became. Gen was patient with him as he let it all out, running his fingers through his hair to massage his scalp and whispering reassurances into his ear.
“I’m- I’m sorry-” Soshiro tried to stutter out pathetically, but Gen quickly hushed him with a gentle kiss to his nose. Gen started to release his pheromones into the air on instinct, and Soshiro grasped onto the scent of flowers and vanilla like a lifeline that was tossed out to him while drowning at sea.
Gen lowered his head to Soshiro’s neck and started nosing at his scent glands, rubbing against them to scent him slowly and thoroughly. The action immediately began to soothe Soshiro’s frantic emotions as Gen’s earthy scent filled his senses, working to ground him while offering the promise of safety.
“Breathe with me, Soshiro,” Gen said, taking exaggerated breaths that would be easy for Soshiro to copy. Soshiro sucked air into his lungs after watching Gen’s example, trying to hold for a few seconds before exhaling and inhaling again. It took a couple of attempts, but after a few minutes he was able to breathe without feeling like shattered glass was making its way through his lungs with every push and pull of his diaphragm.
Soshiro’s crying eventually subsided into small sniffles, but he continued hiding his face in Gen’s shirt as shame made color rise to his cheeks. He hadn’t cried like that since he was a small child – not even when Miho was born. It made him feel pathetic that he’d broken down over something as trivial as being separated from his daughter while he was at work, especially considering his job was literally protecting the entirety of Japan.
“Sweetie, you’re thinking too loud again,” Gen said, cutting into the silence that had fallen over the room as he carded his fingers through Soshiro’s hair. Soshiro simply whined and pressed against Gen further, his ears burning with embarrassment.
It was mortifying enough that he’d blubbered on Gen like a child unable to control his emotions, but it was also unlike him to be so clingy. Normally Gen was the one begging for attention and wrapping around Soshiro like an octopus, refusing to let go even when it meant being late for work in the mornings.
Soshiro knew he could have blamed his uncharacteristically emotional state on a million different ailments, such as exhaustion or his heat that was due in two weeks – one thing he absolutely had not missed while pregnant. However, as embarrassing as it was, he knew it was truly because he had been separated from his family for multiple hours per day. Soshiro had a sinking suspicion that Gen was aware of that fact, too, given the way his mate held a knowing glint in his rose-colored eyes.
A moment later Gen cleared his throat, drawing Soshiro’s attention to him. Soshiro glanced up at him curiously, lifting his head up and resting his chin on Gen’s chest.
Gen worried his bottom lip in between his teeth, a nervous habit he could never seem to break that only appeared when he was genuinely unsure or upset. That made Soshiro raise an eyebrow and look at him quizzically, but since Gen’s scent revealed no emotions of distress or anxiety, all Soshiro could do was wait until he decided to speak.
“I think… I think we need to reevaluate our situation. I don’t know if you going back to work right away is sustainable in the long run,” Gen said eventually, and Soshiro scoffed.
He was about to throw the blanket off himself and stand up so he wouldn’t have to listen to this nonsense when Gen grabbed his chin, keeping him in place and forcing their gazes to meet. Gen's expression was uncharacteristically earnest, and Soshiro gulped. His skin burned where Gen was gripping his chin and own eyes flicked over Gen’s throat despite himself, mesmerized with the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.
“Hey, listen to me,” Gen demanded, and Soshiro returned his eyes to Gen’s face. “Tonight was the first time I’ve seen you break down like that in a long fucking while, Soshiro, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit. Shit, if that’s what being away for more than a few hours will do to you, imagine what multiple days or possibly even weeks would do. Under law, you can’t even be deployed to fight in sorties for at least another four to five months. All you’re doing at the office right now is paperwork, right? So, why not just work from home? I’m sure Ashiro would definitely allow it, you know she’s really soft on you. That way, you could be here with me and Miho while still fulfilling your duties as Vice-Captain.”
Soshiro bristled, irritation bubbling up within him. The logical part of his brain knew that Gen was only repeating what Soshiro himself had been thinking just a few minutes prior. However, for some reason, hearing it from someone else’s mouth – even someone he loved dearly – made anger swell up inside him and flicker in the back of his throat.
The image of his father and superior officers flashed in his memory, alongside their nauseatingly condescending voices telling him the words he loathed but had heard a thousand times. "The defense force is no place for omegas, and the age of the sword is over. Give up, Soshiro. You’re just not cut out for this."
“I ain’t one of those needy omegas who need to constantly be nursin’ their babies and bouncin’ on their alpha’s cock to function, Gen,” Soshiro practically growled, his tone cold and biting.
Gen sighed in frustration, exasperation leaking into his tone. “I never said you were, Sosh’. You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”
“Then whaddaya want, Gen?” Soshiro snapped, getting to the end of his patience. He did stand up, then, flinging the blanket off of himself and clamoring to his feet. He began to pace in front of the couch, grabbing at his hair in frustration.
It wasn’t Gen he was angry at, and Soshiro knew the alpha didn’t deserve his misplaced wrath. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop the words from spilling out of him without permission. “I’ve fought far too hard and for too long to just give up and play house all day. I’m not like ya where I have the luxury of sittin’ on my ass gamin’ all day, ‘cause it don’t matter what ya do if you’re still showin’ results. I actually hafta put in the effort, too. So, the hell do ya want me to do ‘bout it, huh?”
The words were cruel and meant to hurt, and only said for the sake of being said. Soshiro knew Gen put in more effort than anyone when it came to training and advancing his techniques; his evolution of RT-0001 was proof of that. Soshiro was so damn proud of how far Gen had come and that he was the man Soshiro could say he married.
Gen went from being a seventeen year old brat taking down a kaiju all by himself to the most powerful Captain in the Defense Force, a feat that left Soshiro in awe. He winced and immediately wanted to take his words back, but Gen spoke before he could.
“I want,” Gen said, for once keeping his voice calm and not rising to meet Soshiro’s temper. “For you to really consider what the best option would be for your health.” Gen paused, and Soshiro got ready to lash back when it didn’t seem like he was going to add anything else.
Gen then spoke again before he could, his voice suddenly getting much quieter. “When you came back into the living room, after nursing Miho? Your scent reeked so strongly of distress, I thought the worst had happened and that either you or Miho had gotten seriously hurt. Fuck, Soshi’, I thought you were dying. I thought Miho had– that she–”
Gen suddenly cut himself off with a clack of teeth, and Soshiro noticed that Gen’s hands had begun to shake before he clasped them together to hide it. Soshiro opened his mouth to respond, but the words died on his tongue and left a bitter aftertaste.
It hit him, then, like having a kaiju smash him through multiple buildings and into the concrete. He hadn’t just alarmed Gen; he had genuinely scared him. The realization had all of the anger dissipating from Soshiro all at once with a shuddering exhale, leaving him feeling hollow and guilty.
“Oh, Gen,” Soshiro whispered. Gen ducked his head and hiked up his shoulders, preventing Soshiro from seeing his expression, but not before Soshiro caught the sheen of moisture beginning to cover his eyes. Soshiro’s heart shattered into a million pieces at the sight, each small shard worming its way through his bloodstream until his entire body was raw and aching.
Gen hadn’t earned the title of Japan’s Strongest for nothing, but so many people conveniently forgot that there was a human being with emotions and a human heart underneath the lazy and nonchalant persona of the First Division Captain. Gen was a very dramatic person, always quick to yell, tease, or snap, but Soshiro could count the amount of times he’d truly seen him cry on one hand. It made him wonder if Gen was more exhausted than he let on. After all, staying home to raise a two-month old infant was the furthest thing from an easy task.
Soshiro walked back over to the couch, pushing the blanket to the floor and falling into the seat next to Gen. He enveloped Gen in his arms, tucking his head underneath his chin and stroking his back. Gen melted into his embrace, wrapping his arms around Soshiro’s torso in return, and Soshiro could feel the way Gen’s hands still had slight tremors running through them as he gripped the back of his shirt like a lifeline. It only made Soshiro’s guilt return tenfold, and his own eyes began to water again.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he murmured, but he was close enough that he knew Gen could hear him. “I didn’t mean ta snap at ya, that wasn’t fair of me. You’re not the one I’m frustrated at, and ya didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, darlin’.”
“‘S okay,” Gen croaked, his words muffled by Soshiro’s shirt. His voice was so small, and Soshiro felt fresh tears roll down his cheeks. The scent of white musk and vanilla drifted into his nose and he cherished it, inhaling deeply and ingraining the scent deep onto his very soul where it could never be forgotten. Raising a hand to wipe at his eyes, Soshiro sniffed before speaking again.
“Ya know I love you with all my heart, right?” Soshiro questioned, but Gen just grunted into his chest in response. Soshiro pursed his lips, inwardly sighing. He placed both of his hands on the sides of Gen’s head, pulling him back so they could look at each other face-to-face, but Gen refused to meet his eyes. Something ugly curled up in Soshiro’s chest, and both his omega hindbrain and human heart were blaring alarm bells at full volume inside him. He needed to fix this, and he had an idea budding in his mind on how.
“I love you,” Soshiro said, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Gen’s forehead, in between the furrow of his brows.
“I love you.” A kiss to Gen’s right cheek.
“I love you.” A kiss to his left cheek.
“I love you.” A kiss to his chin.
“I love you.” A kiss to his nose.
“I love you,” Soshiro said, pressing a final kiss to Gen’s lips, and he was rewarded with Gen cracking a genuine grin. He put a hand on Soshiro’s face to lightly push him away, but the small laugh he let out betrayed how annoyed he pretended to be.
“I get it, I get it!” Gen exclaimed, removing his hand from Soshiro’s face and wrinkling his nose playfully. “Damn, So’, you’re gonna get my face all gross.”
“It’s not my fault you’re too cute not to love,” Soshiro said, snickering at the way the tips of Gen’s ears turned pink before Gen plopped his head back down to rest on Soshiro’s chest. Soshiro was quick to cuddle into him, rubbing in between Gen’s shoulder blades in the way he liked with one hand and scratching his nape with the other.
Gen released a quiet puff of air, all of the tension draining out of his muscles as he relaxed underneath Soshiro’s touch. The silence that fell over them was comfortable, and it wasn’t long before Soshiro found his eyelids drooping under the prospect of sleep.
“Sosh’?” Gen prompted suddenly, and Soshiro hummed to let him know he was listening. “Do you regret marrying and mating with me?”
“No.” His response was immediate and involuntary. It wasn’t even something that considered much thought in the first place, and Soshiro told him as much. “That’s a stupid question. I would marry ya in any lifetime and in any era. And even if we didn’t marry, I’d still choose ya to be my partner every single time. I told ya the night we mated, didn’t I? Everythin’ and anythin’ I am belongs to you, Gen. My heart, my soul, my body, and my life. You and Miho are my entire world, and I can’t live without either of ya. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Gen agreed. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes to gather himself, and Soshiro took the opportunity to study his face. Gen’s skin was paler than usual, and the eye bags under his eyes were dark and prominent. He looked as exhausted as Soshiro felt, and Soshiro felt another sting of guilt zip through his heart. He tightened his hold around Gen, taking a moment to savor the way their bodies molded together like they had been crafted for each other by fate’s hands.
However, as much as he wanted to savor the peaceful atmosphere, there was a question begging to be asked at the forefront of his mind. Soshiro waited until Gen opened his eyes before speaking, wanting to have his full attention.
“Gen, I know I haven’t really earned it right now, but I need ya to be honest with me, ‘kay?” he started. “Tonight was the first time I’ve seen ya cry in quite a long time. I need ya to tell me if you’re overwhelmed with stayin’ home to take care of Miho, even if I know ya love her to death.”
Gen opened his mouth as if to respond before closing it, pursing his lips in thought. “It’s not that I’m overwhelmed,” he said eventually, whining when Soshiro directed a deadpan stare in his direction. “I’m not! Honest to fucking God!”
“Ya don’t believe in God, Gen.”
“Well, I mean, I think I’m pretty damn close to being- ow!” Gen yelped when Soshiro smacked the back of his head lightly, rubbing the offended spot with his hand and giving him a wounded look.
“That hurt,” Gen sulked, and Soshiro felt a muscle in his cheek twitch.
“Take this seriously or I’ll smack ya again, and not in the way ya like,” he warned, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the alpha’s dramatics.
“I am taking this seriously,” Gen sniffed. “Asshole. As I said, it’s not overwhelming. It’s just… tiring sometimes, I guess.” He exhaled heavily. “There are times when you’re at work and Miho will cry for you, and nothing I do gets her to calm down. I’m not saying I don’t get it – you’re her mother, of course she misses you when you’re gone. I don’t know, it just… fucking breaks my heart a little when she gets upset and I know why but can’t completely fix it.”
“Oh,” Soshiro said dumbly, genuinely stunned. He hadn’t realized Miho was able to register his absence, much less have the capacity to be upset because of it. It was selfish, but it made the omega inside him extremely relieved to know that it seemed like Miho missed him during the day just as much as he had missed her.
The conversation was quickly taking a more serious route, and Soshiro pushed on Gen’s shoulders until he got the hint and sat up. Soshiro raised himself into a sitting position and folded his legs under him, adjusting the couch cushions behind him to support his weight. Gen did the same, but he opted to only fold one leg and dangle the other over the edge of the couch. They were close enough that their knees knocked together, and Soshiro placed his hands in his lap.
“Why didn’t ya say anythin’?” he asked gingerly.
“‘Cause it’s not really a big deal,” Gen mumbled, turning his head to the side so his bangs covered his eyes. “I’ve found that giving her something with your scent on it helps, like one of your dirty shirts or nesting blankets. Why would I bother you at work when I’ve got it covered? It’s not like I’m fucking incompetent and do nothing all day.”
Even though Gen tried to hide it, Soshiro could still detect the lingering bitterness and hurt lying at the bottom of his words. He wasn’t entirely surprised; he had thrown some particularly poisonous words at his mate in his fit of misdirected anger. The words had been aimed at all of Gen’s deepest insecurities and fears, and it would take more than a quick apology with a couple of kisses to fix the harm he had caused.
Soshiro raised a hand, placing it on Gen’s right cheek tenderly and turning his head until their eyes met. He kept his hand on the side of Gen’s face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb, and Gen leaned into the contact.
“I’m sorry I said ya stayin’ here to take care of Miho is just playin’ house,” Soshiro said earnestly. “I’m also sorry I said ya don’t do anythin’ all day, and that ya don’t put in effort. I was hurtin’ and decided to take it out on you, and it was cruel of me. You’re one of the most hardworkin’ people I know, Gen, and I’m so, so proud of ya. You do so many things I’ll never be able to thank ya for.”
“It’s okay, Sosh’,” Gen said, covering the hand that was on his cheek with his own and squeezing Soshiro’s fingers lightly. “I already forgave you for anything you could do a long time ago.”
“That doesn’t make it right, I still shouldn’t have snapped at ya,” Soshiro argued. “Your idea was a good one. All I’m doin’ right now is paperwork, so I could work from home and be with you and Miho ‘til I’m cleared to fight in sorties.”
“But you’re opposed to that,” Gen said, a statement rather than a question. Soshiro paused, measuring his next words carefully.
“Yes. The truth is, well…” The words were crawling up his throat, ready to be spat out like something rotten, but they skidded to a halt before he could even taste them on his tongue. Soshiro ground his teeth in frustration, and Gen raised an eyebrow at him. He kissed Soshiro’s palm before pulling their joined hands away from his cheek, and he used his free hand to take Soshiro’s other hand as well. Gen entangled their fingers together, settling their joined hands in his lap.
Gen’s pink eyes were full of encouragement and understanding, and Soshiro steeled himself before shoving his pride back into the darkest corners of his heart where it belonged. If nothing else, Gen deserved his honesty.
“Clearin’ a path for Captain Ashiro is the only way I can prove I exist, but I can’t even fight in sorties right now,” Soshiro admitted quietly, his lips feeling like they were sewn together with tungsten thread. “I’m useless enough as it is, just doin’ paperwork all day and unable to fight, but…” He couldn’t bear looking at Gen’s face any longer, afraid of what he might find in his gaze, so Soshiro instead looked down at where he and Gen had their hands joined together.
“If I stay at home, I’m worried that Captain Ashiro will find someone who can clear a path for her better than I can while I’m away. Shinomiya and Reno are advancin’ more and more everyday, after all. Not to mention Kafka, who makes slayin’ kaiju look like a kid’s game on easy-mode.” He chuckled, meaning for it to come off as a lighthearted joke, but it sounded hollow and defeated even to his own ears.
“It’s funny, though,” Soshiro continued. “Even though I don’t wanna stay home, every time I think ‘bout leavin’ Miho in the mornin’ tomorrow to go to work, it feels like something’s dyin’ inside me.” Soshiro’s throat burned with emotion, and he slapped a hand over his face as he fought to compose himself. “My head ‘nd my heart just can’t seem ta cooperate with each other. Ain’t that pathetic?”
“It isn’t pathetic, Sosh'; not at all,” Gen assured him, prying Soshiro’s hand away from his face delicately. Gen pressed a kiss to the back of his hand before lifting his chin and leaning in to kiss his mouth softly, and Soshiro let himself relax into the kiss before Gen pulled back.
“Honey, we’ve talked about this,” Gen sighed. “Your worth is never based on another person; it’s something you decide for yourself, no matter what anybody else says or thinks. Not me, not the public, and certainly not your father. I’ve seen firsthand how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are, and I’m so fucking proud of you for that; I really am. You know that? You destroyed every single stereotype people had about omegas fighting in the Defense Force, and you did it all with a smile on your face. You’re amazing, Soshiro.”
Soshiro blinked. “Eh?”
He blinked at Gen in surprise, his cheeks getting hot from embarrassment at his husband’s lavish praise. It was abnormal for Gen to openly speak so highly about someone, even Soshiro, and Soshiro searched his face for any trace of dishonesty. He found none, Gen’s rose-colored eyes blazing bright with sincerity and respect with not a shred of doubt anywhere to be found in them. Soshiro opened his mouth, unsure of what he wanted to say in response, but Gen barreled on before he could even get a word in.
“Besides, your first concern about Ashiro not needing you anymore,” he said, “is fucking bullshit. Do you know how much Ashiro brags about you when you’re not in the room? She’s constantly reminding me how lucky I was to snag her oh-so-talented Vice Captain for myself when I have no redeeming qualities other than my ability to slay kaiju.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “She’s all like, ‘How Hoshina let himself get wooed by an alpha like you will go down in history as the eighth wonder of the world.’ Her boasting gets annoying sometimes, even to me, and I’m the one that fucking married you!”
“That’s not true,” Soshiro protested weakly, but a match was struck deep in his chest. It lit a small flame of warmth, just barely flickering inside the deep chasm of his soul, but it was enough to shake off the chill of doubt that had begun to creep into his bones like frostbite.
Gen didn’t give out praise very readily, which gave his words more impact. Some Captains were in the habit of dishing out approval, like how one would feed raw meat to stray dogs. The more the dogs came to expect the meat the duller the taste would be, but saliva would still roll off their tongues and drip from their black lips. Acknowledgement from Gen was more akin to a gemstone, buried deep underground where few could ever hope to find it, making it all the more valuable and cherished.
“I’m telling the truth, Sosh’,” Gen said. “Have I ever lied to you? About serious things, not about stuff like whether I ate the last cookie or not,” he added when Soshiro remained silent and raised an eyebrow at him. “Jeez, I eat the last cookie once and suddenly I’m the villain in every story…”
“It was my last Mont Blanc cookie, ya reap what you sow,” Soshiro responded coolly, then, “…but no, you’ve never lied to me before,” he said after a moment of consideration, and it was true. Soshiro couldn’t remember a single instance in the past few years in which Gen had lied during a serious situation, and it made his heart flutter happily.
“And I never will,” Gen said firmly, giving his hand a tight squeeze. “I promised you the night we mated that I would give you everything I have, remember? That includes my honesty.”
Gen’s words were a mirror of what Soshiro had stated earlier, and Soshiro's throat tightened with emotion. He brought a hand to the back of Gen’s neck, curling his fingers into the soft hair at the base of his nape. He pulled Gen forward, bringing his other hand to Gen’s waist to stabilize their position. Gen rested both of his hands on Soshiro’s hips, tilting his head to the side a little so their mouths would line up more evenly. Their lips met in the middle, the kiss slow and tender and radiating an overwhelming sense of endearment.
“When did ya go and get so mature on me?” Soshiro asked affectionately when they pulled away, giving Gen another light kiss on the nose. “You’re always full of surprises, Narumi Gen.”
“I’ve always been mature,” Gen said innocently, but the little smirk tugging at the corners of his lips betrayed how serious he was pretending to be. Soshiro laughed out a puff of air through his nose, shaking his head in amusement.
“Sure, honey; whatever ya say,” he conceded, and Gen waggled his eyebrows at him playfully before rubbing his upper arm.
“Now, on to your worries about Miho,” Gen said. “Listen, 'Shiro. I know you’re frustrated that you’re feeling separation anxiety from Miho when you’re on-duty when you want to be focused on helping the Third, but damn, Sosh’; you have to cut yourself some slack. Miho isn’t just our child - she’s our first child, and no one loves her more than you. Anybody can see that. It’s completely natural to feel stressed when you’re separated from her, it doesn’t mean something’s ‘wrong’ with you.”
“But-“
“No, no buts,” Gen interrupted, holding up a finger to Soshiro’s lips and effectively silencing him. “I get stressed out when I use the toilet and can’t see Miho in her crib or bouncer for five fucking minutes, I can’t even imagine how you feel having to leave her for the whole goddamn day. Add the stress of your Vice-Captain duties on top of that and I’m amazed that you’re still sane, Sosh’.”
“Well…” Soshiro said, “I suppose I do know how to deal with pressure and anxiety well, bein’ married to you and all.”
“Hey.”
Soshiro giggled, placing a kiss on one of Gen’s pouting cheeks. “Kiddin’,” he said in a singsong voice before settling down again. “But you’re right, our current situation isn’t sustainable. Even without the issue of my - what didja call it? Separation anxiety? - ya can’t be away from Ariake for longer than ya already have been, my love.”
“Sosh’,” Gen groaned. “Stop worrying about that, the First Division is just fine. Every single officer in my Division has the ability to become a Captain, they can handle any kaiju threats that pop up by themselves without me babysitting them all the time.”
“No, Gen, this is serious,” Soshiro pushed. “I know the First Division is extremely capable, and I know that you’re enjoyin’ playin’ with the baby all day instead of doin’ any of your Captain duties. But we needa think ‘bout the long term, too. What if a Daikaiju Class kaiju emerges in Ariake, or somewhere even further away? Ya know that you’re the only one who can handle such a large threat if Captain Ashiro is unavailable, Gen.”
Gen began to chew on his lip for the second time that night, and Soshiro sighed before placing a hand on Gen’s chest, right above his heart. Gen took his hand to hold it in place, fiddling with Soshiro’s fingers absentmindedly. “I know you, Gen,” he said. “If people died because ya weren’t there to protect them, you’d never forgive yourself. You’re the strongest soldier we have in the Defense Force, and Japan needs ya to fight for it. You’re the only one that can.”
“I know,” Gen said softly. His rose-colored eyes were sunken with weariness and fatigue, and it wasn’t just from the late hour. “You’re right, even I can admit that. But if I go back to work, I assume you’re not okay with staying here to take care of Miho? Even if being away from her stresses you out?”
“I can’t, Gen,” Soshiro whispered, and he winced when his voice cracked. “I love Miho, I love her so much, and I’d love to be with her durin’ the day, but I just- I can’t. I’m sorry, I dunno how to explain it.”
“No, don’t apologize, I get it. I really do,” Gen reassured him earnestly. “But that leaves us with two problems. One: you’ll still be anxious at being separated from her while you’re on-duty, and two: we can’t leave Miho home by herself. Most daycares won’t accept infants under four months, and all the ones that do are full or have a waitlist five kilometers long.”
“Wait, what?” Soshiro blurted out. “How do ya know that?” He looked at Gen in shock. “Darlin’, did you… research daycare options? Like a responsible adult?”
“I’m a grown-ass man; give me a little credit, please,” Gen huffed, but he still looked awfully proud of himself as he puffed his chest out at Soshiro’s bafflement. “Yes, I did research daycares for when Miho gets a little older, but we’re still stuck between a rock and a hard place until we find a proper solution.”
Soshiro hummed in agreement, and silence fell over the pair when he had nothing else to add. Gen straightened out the leg that had been folded underneath him, stretching his arms above his head and causing his spine to pop.
He used his arms to reposition himself, turning his body until his back was leaning against the couch cushions. He tugged on the sleeve of Soshiro’s shirt until Soshiro got the message, uncrossing his legs. He scooted forward before leaning against Gen’s shoulder, and Gen snuck an arm around his waist to hold him casually.
Soshiro settled against Gen and looked out of the window, the stars twinkling back at him from where they were nestled against their black blanket in the sky. The moon illuminated the empty streets below their apartment, only half of its silver outline visible. It would soon sink into the earth as the sun rose to take its place, bringing the kiss of dawn to their dark world. It was serenely beautiful, and Soshiro found himself beginning to doze off without realizing.
Gen was quiet from where he sat next to him on the couch, his eyes narrowed in deep thought. Suddenly, Gen’s eyes widened and he sat up straight, jostling Soshiro in the process and causing him to yelp.
“I’ve got it!” Gen exclaimed, snapping his fingers. “Oops. Sorry, Sosh’,” he said upon seeing Soshiro’s disgruntled expression. “But,” Gen continued enthusiastically, “I have the perfect solution: the daycare inside Tachikawa base!”
“What?” Soshiro questioned, wondering if he had heard right, when Gen continued.
“Think about it, ‘Shiro,” he said. “The daycare is inside the base itself, which means you can visit Miho as many times as you want during the day. Not only would it help your separation anxiety, but you’d also be able to breastfeed Miho directly every couple of hours instead of just from a bottle or formula. Which, may I remind you, is much healthier for both you and her. It’s a win-win situation, Soshiro.”
Soshiro stared at Gen like he had tree branches growing out of his head, even as Gen looked at him with blazing conviction. Soshiro’s surprise wasn’t due to the outlandishness of the idea, but because he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of the daycare himself. Even more so, he had needed someone who wasn’t even affiliated with the Third Division to remind him. After all, Soshiro had personally helped oversee its construction with Captain Ashiro a few years prior to ensure that omega parent soldiers weren’t being discriminated against during the building and setup process.
While the idea of a daycare being inside of an active military base seemed slightly ridiculous, it had been built inside of Tachikawa base for soldiers that couldn’t afford regular daycare rates. It wasn’t exactly a hidden truth that aside from Captains and Vice-Captains, being a soldier didn’t pay well.
It functioned as a regular daycare, where parents would drop off their children in the mornings before work and pick them up when they went off-duty for the day. The daycare would provide meals, playtime, and allotted time for naps for the children in its care, so soldiers could focus on their duties without worrying about their little ones. The daycare itself was located on the lowest level of Tachikawa base - the safest location within a one-hundred kilometer radius. Ideally, it was the perfect solution, but even so…
“No way,” Soshiro said firmly, not even wanting to entertain the idea. “It’s way too dangerous. What if the Tachikawa base gets attacked again, like the raid that was orchestrated ‘nd carried out by Kaiju No. 9 a few years ago? If somethin’ like that happens again and Miho gets hurt, or killed, I-” He cut himself off, choking on the words ensnared together in his throat. He didn’t even want to consider the possibility of something that atrocious happening again.
“Soshiro, listen to me,” Gen said, cupping Soshiro’s face in his hands. “We helped Kafka defeat No. 9, remember?”
Oh, that battle was ingrained deep into Soshiro’s memory, and he wasn’t positive he could forget even if he tried. He remembered the rush of power that came from him and Gen fighting side by side together as they were always meant to, and then that same power being torn in half by terror as Gen was impaled by No. 9 in the chest. He remembered his heart physically stopping as he watched Gen collapse onto the ground, crimson blood covering the dirt in human stain. He remembered the helplessness, the tears, the fear, and eventually the overwhelming relief he’d felt when Soshiro had finally been able to hold Gen in his arms again at the hospital.
He’d sobbed into Gen’s hair and made him promise never to do that again, or Soshiro swore to every deity he knew that he would find a way to bring Gen back to life and murder him. Gen had simply laughed before nuzzling into him, and that was all it took for Soshiro’s anger to dissolve like sugar cubes in hot water.
“Yes, I remember,” Soshiro said, trying and failing at keeping his voice from falling too flat. Gen was unperturbed, tracing a cheekbone with his thumb before dropping his hands to Soshiro’s waist.
“Then you know we helped Kafka kill that fucker,” he said. “Besides, No. 9 was abnormal in every sense of the word. The chance of another kaiju appearing that’s on par with No. 9’s intelligence is very low; you know this. And it’s not like the kaiju we already know about are intelligent enough to pull off an attack on a base like No. 9 did.”
Somewhere across Tokyo, Kafka sneezed so hard he startled himself awake.
“But it ain’t zero, Gen,” Soshiro said anxiously. “What if a kaiju like No. 9 does end up appearing again? What if that happens, and I can’t get to her in time? Or what if I get to her, but it’s already too late? Or-”
“Soshiro, stop it,” Gen cut in, knocking their foreheads together lightly. “You’re overthinking this way too much, bowl-cut. Nothing like that is ever gonna happen.”
“Ya can’t promise that,” Soshiro remarked. “Kaiju will always attack this world, and there will always be casualties.”
“You said it yourself, right?” Gen recalled, grinning impishly. “I’m the strongest anti-kaiju soldier around. It’s my job to protect Japan.” His smile slipped into something more softly sincere, his eyes crinkling around their edges. “Aside from being a Captain, the greatest honors of my life are being your partner and having the privilege of being that little girl’s father. I’ll kill any kaiju that appears before they have a chance to hurt my family, or damn it all if I don’t die trying.”
Soshiro was heavily flustered by Gen’s emphatic declaration, and something hot and needy sparked in his belly. Instead of thinking of something to say, he pressed his lips to Gen’s mouth. Gen was quick to reciprocate, and they chased after each other’s lips until they found their rhythm and moved together in sync. Gen sighed happily into the kiss, and Soshiro took the opportunity to dart his tongue into Gen’s mouth.
He tasted like soba noodles and cola, with a hint of milk chocolate that he must have eaten after dinner. Gen made a noise of appreciation in the back of his throat as Soshiro explored, and a flick of his tongue inside Gen’s mouth had Gen letting out a low moan. Soshiro reveled in the fact that he was the only one who could produce such delicious sounds from his mate, and he was more than a little smug that Gen was this vulnerable with him and only him.
Gen suddenly pulled away, jarring Soshiro out of his musing, but he didn’t have any time to be confused before Gen covered his lips with his own. Gen took control, unwrapping his arm from around Soshiro and pulling on his arm. Soshiro took the hint and turned his body, swinging a leg over Gen so he was sitting on top of his thighs. Gen snaked his arms around Soshiro’s waist again, tugging Soshiro into his lap before he slipped a hand underneath Soshiro’s shirt.
Gen began to rub circles into the small of his back and Soshiro mewled softly, the sound instantly swallowed by Gen’s greedy mouth. Gen’s sharp canines nipped at his lower lip, and the hand that wasn’t on his back moved down to cup his ass and squeeze. It was too much yet not enough at the same time, and Soshiro wanted Gen to devour him until he wasn’t sure where he ended and Gen began.
Soshiro was disturbed from his haze of pleasure by the bell of the nearby church in their area ringing through the night four times in a row. Meaning that he and Gen only had one hour before their alarms went off for work.
Well, shit.
Soshiro didn’t want to stop. He wanted Gen to arch his back and scent him while he covered him in bite marks, until no one could possibly question who Soshiro belonged to. He wanted Gen to spread the omega’s legs over his shoulders and sink into Soshiro’s heat, thrusting into him until Soshiro could do nothing but cum while screaming Gen’s name.
It sounded extremely enticing, considering they hadn’t had sex since Miho was born. Soshiro had been so sore for the first few weeks after giving birth that Gen had flat-out refused to do anything more than give him a hand-job, and even then, they rarely ever got alone time while caring for a newborn infant.
Internally groaning, Soshiro warred between his desires and his needs. On the other hand, he and Gen both needed as much sleep as they could get, but Soshiro was half-hard already and he could feel Gen’s own arousal starting to rise from their close proximity. If they didn’t stop within the next few minutes, it would mean neither of them had a chance of catching a wink of sleep. Soshiro wanted Gen so badly he ached for it, but quite frankly, he was exhausted and more than a little overstimulated from his harrowing day of paperwork and emotional breakdowns.
He lifted one hand to entangle it in Gen’s hair and pulled, not hard enough to harm but hard enough that he knew it would receive Gen’s awareness. He was proven correct when Gen pulled away sputtering in confusion, his mouth twisting into a pout.
“What the fuck, So’?” Gen whined, just like Soshiro knew he would.
“It’s four in the morning, Gen, and I’ve had a very long day,” Soshiro deadpanned, and Gen rolled his eyes.
“It’s fine, we’ll be quick- ow!” Gen yelped as Soshiro pulled on his hair harder, and Soshiro leaned in to whisper in his ear.
“If we had sex tonight, it would be your first time beddin’ me in almost three months. We both know that’s gonna take more time than we have before our alarms go off in an hour. Ya understand that, don’tcha?”
He savored the way Gen inhaled sharply before scowling, and he took Soshiro’s wrist and pried it out of his hair.
“Fine, fine, I get it,” Gen relented, grumbling as he eased Soshiro’s head onto his chest and shifted in place to accommodate the new position.
Soshiro went happily, sighing with content. He settled into the crook of Gen’s neck and tucked an arm around him, fiddling with a loose thread on Gen’s sleeve. Gen brought his hands to Soshiro’s hair and started playing with it absentmindedly, and Soshiro let the silence reign between the two of them while his mind wandered.
Gen was very intelligent, despite what others might have thought due to his blasé attitude, and he had brought up a lot of solid points that deserved Soshiro’s consideration. It was truly the least Soshiro could do, considering Gen was working so hard to lighten his workload as they slowly transitioned back into normal life – albeit with a new family member.
The daycare was an excellent compromise, and while there was no waitlist, the enrollment paperwork was extensive and would take several hours of pouring over birth certificates and health documents for both Miho and themselves.
Rationally speaking, Soshiro knew that he wasn’t going to get much sleep, which would definitely impact his quality of work when he had to report for duty that morning. Logically, it would make more sense for him to simply take the day off entirely, which would allow him to both catch up on much needed sleep and fill out the daycare paperwork. Mina would certainly permit it, even on such short notice.
Besides, if Soshiro stayed home for the day, he and Gen could continue their more… adult activities during Miho’s nap time, free to savor their lust and passion without interruption for several hours. That thought instantly shot to the top of Soshiro’s priority list, and he finally made a decision.
“I’m gonna take the day off tomorrow to fill out the paperwork for the daycare, so turn off your alarm,” Soshiro announced, and he didn’t have to see Gen’s expression to know his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Really? The great, studious Hoshina Soshiro taking a day off, when he’s not immobile or actively dying?” he gasped dramatically, putting his hand on his cheek in mock-horror. “Someone help and call the Defense Force, the kaiju are ending the world!”
Soshiro smacked his side playfully, and Gen let out a loud laugh. “We are the Defense Force, Gen.”
“Well, I make up ninety percent of the Defense Force all by myself,” Gen said arrogantly, “but I guess you can take the other ten percent.”
“Just ten percent?” Soshiro fired back. “It seems you’ve conveniently forgotten that I’m the one with a one-hundred percent unleashed combat power, while ya capped out at only ninety-eight percent. If anythin’, I’m the one that deserves to have ninety percent of the credit, no?”
“Shut up! That was one fucking time and I was in my standard combat suit!” Gen griped, lightly pinching at the soft skin of Soshiro’s sides until he squealed and swatted Gen’s hands away. “If we measured my unleashed combat power while in my Weapons suit, I could easily breach one-hundred percent!”
“Sure, sure, whatever ya say, love,” Soshiro relented, too tired to continue their bickering even if he savored every quick quip and comeback. Gen must have sensed his exhausted state, and he rubbed his face against the top of Soshiro’s head playfully instead of answering with another snappy retort.
Soshiro started mouthing at Gen’s scent glands, savoring the way Gen’s body shivered in response. Though Soshiro knew they should be settling in for the night (he was the one that shut them down, after all), he truly couldn’t help himself. Gen was too easy to tease, and his reactions were always so entertaining.
“If you don’t cut that shit out, I won’t be responsible for what I might do,” Gen warned, and Soshiro huffed out a laugh through his nose.
“Sorry, sorry, got carried away,” he said, not sorry at all, before letting a smirk grace his features. “Alpha.” Gen went silent, and Soshiro had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing at imagining the look on his face.
“You foxy bastard, you’re doing this on purpose,” Gen eventually said, his voice strained like that of a dying cat.
“Maybe. Ya know, if you’re good tomorrow and lemme do my work, I’ll let ya make love to me,” Soshiro said, stroking Gen’s arm seductively, and Gen’s body tensed underneath him. “I’ll even let ya eat me out before I ride ya within an inch of your life. How does that sound, Cap’n? Will ya be a good boy for me?”
Gen growled low in the back of his throat, and Soshiro had a suspicion that it was entirely on instinct. Gen jerked his chin upward and pressed an insistent kiss to his lips, siding his hand down to grip Soshiro’s upper thigh possessively. It was a promise in the way Gen pulled back after only a few seconds, encasing Soshiro in his arms again without taking the kiss any further.
“Fucking brat,” Gen cursed, but his tone was dripping with fondness. “Who do you think you are, ordering me around like that? But, I suppose I can grant your wish. I’ll return to my Captain duties at Ariake, and I won’t bother you while you’re filling out the paperwork. After that,” Gen said, his voice lowering into a husky whisper, “I’ll make you fall apart on my cock until you remember which one of us is the superior officer here, Omega.”
Soshiro was satisfied with his answer and returned to Gen’s neck, nosing at his scent glands languidly. It was slow and intimate, unlike before, and the scent of magnolia flowers and white musk mixed together in a potent concoction that made his head spin pleasantly.
A purr built up in Soshiro’s chest before he realized, and Gen’s chest soon rumbled soothingly with his own deeper purr. The tranquil vibrations lulled Soshiro into a state of placidness, and it wasn’t long before sleep’s dark call beckoned to his exhausted mind. He was about to let himself be pulled under when Gen prodded his side, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
“Sosh’,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“I love you,” Gen murmured, and Soshiro’s heart did a backflip from the amount of affection that washed over him for the man he gave his body and soul to.
“I love you, too,” he promised, and he truly meant it. “I’ll love ya ‘til we’re both pruny raisins and I’ll love ya beyond that, even if the sun itself comes fallin’ down ‘round us.”
“Good,” Gen nodded, like the utter asshole he was. He blinked sleepily before yawning, closing his eyes and resting his head on the couch cushions while keeping his arms securely fastened around his mate. Gen was fast asleep in under a minute, which impressed Soshiro more than anything despite it being an ungodly late hour.
The cocky Captain that Soshiro met as an eager twenty year old would have been appalled to see his older self so disgustingly domestic, and the mental image made Soshiro snort in amusement. Gen was rarely so still unless he was gaming, and Soshiro took the opportunity to study his mate’s sleeping face.
Gen had pieces of his black and white hair sticking up at random angles, a small pink plastic star embedded in one of the hair tufts that had originated from only God-knows-where. His t-shirt was wrinkled and needed to be washed, and an orange paint stain sat on the right shoulder of the shirt. Soshiro’s eyes followed a trail of drool that was slowly making its way down Gen’s chin, and he had a gray piece of lint stuck to the tip of his nose. Gen looked utterly ridiculous, even for the middle of the night, but Soshiro still found himself endeared all the same.
He wished people knew the real Narumi Gen; the Gen that stayed up with him all night when Soshiro had terrible morning sickness during his first trimester of pregnancy. The Gen that blew raspberries on Miho’s tummy over and over again just to make her laugh, his eyes sparking with mirthful youth and overwhelming love for the infant in his arms. Gen was so beautiful, and it disheartened Soshiro to know that the world only saw a fraction of his true potential. It was the reality of being a soldier, but a depressing one nonetheless.
Soshiro still had his head on Gen’s chest, and he shifted in place until his ear was directly above the center of Gen’s ribcage. Gen’s heartbeat surrounded him, strong and steady, and Soshiro closed his eyes before releasing an exhale. The scent of vanilla and white musk mixed together with Gen’s heartbeat to create a potent concoction, and Soshiro could feel sleep’s beckoning call in the back of his mind.
A smile suddenly slid over Soshiro’s lips at the thought that he and Gen could handle anything thrown at them, as long as they handled it together. It was insanely cheesy, and Soshiro felt a deep blush take over his cheeks. He wondered, though, as he finally let himself fall into the throngs of sleep, when Gen and Miho had become the people that Soshiro considered home.
Needless to say, when Soshiro walked into the next Eastern Division meeting with a babbling three-month old baby strapped to his chest, there was some grumbling among the higher-ups; but truly, no one was really surprised at all.