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Klyden is blissfully lost consuming his warm spicy breakfast; with closed eyes, he focuses on hot notes prickling his tongue.
A plastic clatter on the table disrupts his meditation. Klyden sees Topa placed a tablet next to him. He stairs down to what’s written on the screen, blinking with confusion. They are names; most he recognizes. The name of the top catches his special attention.
He points at the screen with his spoon.
“What is this?” he asks. Topa looks to her papa with sparkles in her big eyes.
“They’re people I’m inviting to my Ja’loja.”
Klyden and Bortus glance at each other.
Topa frowns, “What? I think I’m old enough to invite friends to my Ja’loja.”
Klyden nods, cleaning his mouth with a shimmering napkin, and picks up the tablet. “Thank you darling. Go off to school, and we will talk more about your upcoming Ja’loja.” Topa smiles at papa’s response. She sweetly bids her parents goodbye, and with a light step, the moclan leaves.
Klyden’s kind smile melts into a sour scowl. “Look at that,” he tells Bortus, dropping the tablet between the two of them. “Look at who she is inviting.” Bortus’ hard eyes glance over the list.
“It is her friends.” Bortus’ voice didn’t carry the same flavor of concern.
“But look who is at the top.” Klyden jabs at the name with a fat finger. Bortus looms over the screen; he recognizes the name very well.
Marcus Finn.
“Is there a problem?” Bortus asks.
“Yes-s,” Klyden hisses, “Why is the Finn boy first on the list? Does she have any intentions of a relationship with him?”
“He is the only offspring in the senior staff close to her maturity.”
“Maturity my kadish-! I have seen him put a rubber glove over his head and screeched absurd sounds, like a dumb, flightless, bird.”
Bortus rolls his eyes at the thought of the Finn boy acting like a fool, and Topa falling for his... endearing charms.
“If there are romantic interests,” Klyden speaks, unbothered with the piece of food flying from his mouth, “I do not what that boy put an egg my Topa. We must deal with him!”
“I will take care of that,” Bortus agrees stoically.
“See that you do it today.” Klyden admires his reflection in the soupspoon, “I am still in my prime; I do not want to be a grandfather yet.”
***
The breakfast conversation remains fresh on Bortus’ mind during lunch.
The mess hall buzzes of gossip and passtimes with crewmembers enjoying their lunch break. Throughout the sea of people, Bortus’ dark eyes scan about till he finds the one, silver, kaylon. Isaac sat with other fellow crewmates, engaging in stimulating conversation. Bortus comes over with heavy footsteps.
The table greets the moclan with a chorus of friendliness, and asks to join them. “Another time,” Bortus says before twisting his muscular neck towards Isaac. “We must talk.”
“Very well,” Isaac states, undisturbed by the moclan’s heavy tone.
“My daughter’s Ja’loja is approaching. She has shown Klyden and I her guest list. The elder Finn boy is at the top of this list.”
“Very well,” Isaac nods, “I will convey this information to Marcus.”
“Klyden and I suspect Topa’s invitation has, " Bortus clears his throat, "romantic interests in mind.”
Isaac remains silent.
“I would like for you to talk to your son about the responsibilities of physical intimacy,” the moclan contextualizes.
“Doctor Finn is the ship’s medical expert,” the kaylon speaks with a methodical hand gesture, “She is most qualified to educate Marcus on physical relations.”
“Except the ship’s medical expert is ‘mom’,” Gordon intervenes with a mouthful of food. “Its awkward for boys to get this stuff from their moms.”
“I do not understand, please clarify.”
“Well, for starters,” Gordon pauses to think, “how can moms relate to boners?”
“Doctor Finn has bones, I do not,” Isaac states forthrightly.
“What Gordon means,” Talla buts in, turning a hose on the growing wildfire. “This kind of stuff can be embarrassing to talk about. And for most boys, talking about sex with their moms is more so. It’s best hearing from their dads.”
She takes a bite of her synthesized chicken salad. While chewing it, Talla sours at the thought of dad giving The Talk about female xlayan biology.
“Pa-lease,” Dann interjects haughtily, “’best heard from their dads.’ You guys are so archaic. My old man never talked to me about the birds and the bees. I got everything I needed to know from the pamphlets the school nurse gave me.”
The dome-head humanoid takes crunchy, bite of his sandwich. Chewing loudly, a wad of spread dribbles down and splatter on his uniform sleeve. Grumbly, Dann inspects the mess, calculating the best way to clean up the mess before returning to work. The best idea Dann can think of is licking the sauce off with a swipe of his brown tongue.
Dann looks back at his friends, “And I grew up fine, thank very much.” He puts the sleeve in his mouth, and sucks out the remaining flavor.
Isaac’s optical sensors meticulously observe Dann’s actions.
His dome head turns to Bortus.
“I will speak to Marcus.”
Satisfied, the moclan nods sternly, and walks off.
***
Marcus was the first to come home from school. The doors woosh open to a quiet room -almost empty except for one person.
Isaac sits at the dining table, his hands resting on the flat surface, glaring directly at the young human.
Marcus briefly stops in his tracks.
He knows Isaac wouldn’t harm a fly, but right now the kaylon’s body language is unsettling.
“Hello, Marcus,” Isaac says in his neutral voice.
Marcus drops his school tablet on the sofa, and makes his way to the synthesizer, all while keeping a steady eye on the robot.
“Hi Isaac,” he says, while producing a bowl of overly sweet and colorful cereal.
He takes a seat across Isaac.
“Was school today sufficient?” the kaylon asks.
Marcus nods, pushing a heaping spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
Isaac nods back, “That is satisfactory."
Sounds of crunchy chewing and clinking silverware fills the empty space between them.
“Marcus,” Isaac slightly leans forward, “I wish to discuss with you an essential topic...”
His hands slip under the table, and pulls out two dolls. One resembling Topa, and the other like Marcus.
“Sexual copulation.”
The sight of the dolls shocks Marcus to involuntarily spits out his after-school snack, coating the table and the kaylon in a projection of milk. Isaac remains motionlessly undisturbed by the sticky droplets on his smooth face.
“W-what?” Marcus squawks gracelessly, “Why are there action figures of me and-and Topa?”
Milk trickles down Isaac’s head while he gestures, “They are visual aids to help personally relate the topic.”
Marcus swallows hard, but not cereal -something slimy between his throat and stomach.
“The topic of s-sex?”
“That is correct,” Isaac nods.
Marcus scowls, “No! I don’t want to talk about that with those!” His spoon points at the dolls. They look so innocent and harmless in Isaac’s fingers -victims of embarrassment themselves.
Isaac deducts the personalized dolls are… too personal. He puts them back under the table, out of sight and mind.
"Verry well."
Thankfully, he prepared another approach.
In place of the dolls, Isaac pulls out two anatomically correct models of pelveses. One male human and the other female moclan.
Isaac starts pointing and explaining each bodily part. Marcus pushes his bowl aside, sloshing more milk onto the table, and stands up, ready to leave.
The Kaylon looks back at the human, “Evidently, I am not efficient at conversing about sexual copulation. Perhaps your mother is more persuasive for you to listen.”
Marcus stops.
Mom, with all the detailed medical charts in her arsenal, and poised to raise hell at any off-color comment.
Marcus sits back down, dropping his forehead on the table with a thud, and sighs. “Why are you doing this? And why are you using me and-and Topa?”
Isaac’s hands return to a neutral resting position.
“I have come to know Topa is extending an invitation to you for her upcoming Ja’loja.” Marcus’ head snaps up. “She is-!?” Embarrassed by his own enthusiasm, the adolescent swallows hard. “She is. T-that’s cool,” he says with overcomposed boredom.
“Before the ceremony commences, I want to make sure you are sufficiently responsible of sexual copulation.”
"But why?"
"There’s speculation your invitation has romantic intentions. I am making sure you are aware of the functions and liabilities of copulation before any relationship arises."
Marcus cringes in embarrassment. “But Isaac, I do know 'bout this stuff.”
Isaac tilts his head, “You do?”
“Yeah, from school.”
“’From school.’” The robot momentarily pauses. “Was this information obtained from a distributed pamphlet?”
“Wha’? Nah, the teacher talked ‘bout it in science class. I know when two people,” The bile taste of embarrassment creeps up Marcus’ throat, “um, get together, kinda, they can make a baby.”
“An over simplified, but correct, explanation,” Isaac acclaims highly. “Are you familiar with contraceptives and methods to prevent unplanned procreation and sexually transmitted ailments?”
Marcus rolls his eyes across the room. “Yeah, we covered that in class, too.”
“Very well.” Isaac returns the anatomical props under the table.
"'kay, cool."
Anxious to do anything other than talk about sex with Isaac, Marcus leaps onto his feet.
“There is one more matter I wish to discuss,” the Kaylon interjects.
The human takes a deep breath, taking in and tempering what patience he could collect before sitting down.
Claire strongly insists The Talk must include the following topic. Isaac accepts her argument, not simply because a good husband agrees, but personal experience supplied him with data imploring its importance. They rehearsed the subject till Claire is confident Isaac can converse to Marcus about it.
“You have expressed an understanding of procreation and protection,” a silvery index finger stood out. “However, there is another necessity: cognizantation.”
Marcus cocks his head, “cognizantation?”
Isaac mirrors the gesture, “I speak of maturity. There are various precautions against unwanted physical consequences from copulation. However, there is no protection from a ‘broken heart’.”
Claire’s choice of words, not Isaac’s. Still, though his left-brain can’t comprehend the idiom, he anticipates Marcus will.
“A broken heart?”
Then again…
“Copulation is more than physical joining; it can also form a psychological connection between participants.” Isaac gestures by intertwining his silvery fingers together, “If partakers are not transparent with their intentions, or underestimates the stimulating effect, that bond can result unsolicited emotions.”
“Pff, that’s one thing you don’t need to worry ‘bout.”
“Please clarify.”
“You’re Mr. No Emotions an’ all that.” Marcus jiggles his hands at the wrists, mimicking a kaylon.
“You are correct, but your mother does, and I have compromised her emotions because of insufficient understanding of sexual copulation.”
Marcus shrugs his shoulders, “But you two are together; everythin’ got fixed.”
“Also correct,” the robot confirms, “but not all relationships amend and prosper after such transgressions. The consequences can result in behaviors negatively affecting other relationships, including to one self.”
The wind of ego was taken out of Marcus' sails. He looks down, quiet.
The soggy cereal drifts in lukewarm milk.
“This conversation was not meant to deter you from sexual relations.” The kaylon places a hand on his chest plate, “Even for my species with no libido, it benefits me. Intercourse serves as reaffirmation to the relationship your mother and I inhabit.”
Marcus squirms in his seat, looking around the room, trying not to think of that.
“Marcus…”
The teenager refocuses back at the robot.
“Do you have any further quarries?”
Marcus shifts in his chair, “Well, no. I just... guess if I like someone, I really don’t wanna to hurt ‘em.” His large eyes flash up momentarily to Isaac’s minimalist face.
Isaac’s memory returns to when Marcus hotly wished for the robot’s death; later that day, he begged Ensign Charlie to save the kaylon’s life. He computes the data and makes a conclusion.
"I think it is not in your nature to cause distress."
A subtle smile turns up slightly in the corners of his mouth. Marcus knows Isaac’s complements aren't freely given, nor are they platitudes.
The kaylon stands up and leans forward, rooting the palms of his hands on the table. "Understand this," he says. Marcus' mouth pinches into a straight line, feeling heat releasing from the alloy body.
“Part of my directive is to protect you, but I cannot guarantee your safety from all possible consequences. I have never engaged in combat against two moclans, simultaneously. If you disregard what we conversed, that curiosity will be answered," he pauses for a moment. "And possibly not to your wellbeing.”
Marcus imagination runs wild. He invisions teeth-clenched Bortus and Klyden fighting Isaac. They successfully tear off Isaac’s arm and bash open his dome head with it, before turning onto the softer human.
His fingertips drum on the table, alleviating anxiety. Finally, his adolescent brain compiles a complete sentence.
“Cool, so… we done?”
“The conversation is done. If you any quarries in the future, please direct them to me or your mother.”
“Thanks, um,” His eyes skirt around the sticky mess of milk. “Sorry for yelling at you.”
“Apology accepted,” Isaac nods. “I have been counselled the subject of sexual relations can be an unpleasant discussion.”
Marcus’ eyebrows shot up, “You’ve been talking to others about this?”
“Yes, Lieutenant Commander Bortus, Lieutenant Kiyali, Lieutenant Gordon, and Lieutenant-“
“Ugh, do they know 'bout Topa inviting me, too?”
“Affirmative. ”
Marcus drops his head back in agony and bellows a groan. By the time Topa has the chance to ask, half the crew will know.
The Orville, after all, is a small ship.
***
Topa crouchs neck deep in Sanctuary’s turquoise ocean. The salty water laps around her shoulders. As the Ja’loja ritual commences, the moclan feels the water’s temperature changes in swirls around her.
When the water finally cools, she stands back up and looks back to the beach. All along the sandy shore were over a dozen friends and family. They smile warmly; she smiles back broadly from ear to ear.
As time went on, the adults and the adolescents formed into their own familiar groups. The older people are content where they’re at, but the youth decided to venture down the beach.
Before the two parties are out of sight from each other, Marcus momentarily turns around. He feels being watched. Isaac’s two blue round lights, and the strong dark eyes of Klyden, look back at him.
Eventually, in his prim manner, Isaac rotates his body, facing the other adults. Klyden sees this action; Slowly he does the same, keeping a stern eye on the boy until he fully turns around.
Marcus smirks, flinging a colorful beach towel over his shoulder.
A familiar girl’s voice calls to Marcus. He turns around and catches up to the group in a sprint, kicking up clots of wet sand.