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Those first few weeks on the island, he’d been hungry. So hungry. Then after a few more weeks he’d gotten used to it. Over time he’d gotten used to hunting, better at it and more reliable at feeding himself. But he’d forgotten that feeling of being hungry, it had still always been a constant.
Back home now, he had problems remembering that feeling. Couldn’t always tell when he was hungry, but knew when he should eat. Eating had been ingrained as a must. Eat what you can and move on.
So he’d eat when there was food in front of him or when it was offered, but sometimes he had a hard time remembering that he needed to eat. He could never finish the plate though, full before he knew he should have been.
The food here was heavy though, felt like it loaded him down. Rich and spicy in ways that he wasn’t used to anymore. Sometimes it was just too much.
He knew his mother worried when he ended up picking at most of a meal, and he tried to force himself to eat more, to at least make it seem like he could. Sometimes it worked better than others.
Tonight was one of those nights that fell into others. Sitting at the table, trying to convince himself to take another bite, knowing he wasn’t full but not able to convince his body that was true. It was exhausting.
He smiled and took a bite when his mother looked at him with that look in her eyes like she wanted to say something, express her worry. It was too much, he could taste everything in it and it was too strong. He felt his stomach turn and he had to put his fork down.
He wasn’t stupid, wouldn’t let himself starve or grow weak. He found himself taking vitamins and eating anything with high protein and vitamins but little taste. He just couldn’t do all of this in one sitting, all of this food and taste.
“Excuse me,” he found himself saying as he stood up, forcing a smile he knew they all saw through, and walked out of the dining room. He’d deal with the consequences later, he was walking a thin line with his mother and Thea. Sooner or later one of them would call him on it, but it wouldn’t be tonight.
The next time they had a family dinner, the food in front of them was less dressed up than normal, and when he took a bite, it was bland. Something he hadn’t tasted since he’d gotten back home. Mostly just the taste of meat and some vegetables.
He couldn’t stop himself from glancing around the table as his family started to eat, trying to gauge how they felt about this, if they’d planned this. But nothing was different, it all looked normal until he started catching random glances as they tried to gauge his reaction.
“You didn’t have to do this,” he announced halfway through the meal. He still couldn’t finish the plate, but he could eat more than he’d been able to. He appreciated the gesture.
“Speak nothing of it,” Walter smiled and Oliver nodded.