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It was late at night. From the bedroom window, she could see the stars and the glow of the moon. It was like the light was inviting her out to play, to stand in the tranquil night and savour the magical hour. The bedroom, too lay silent, with nothing but her husband's slow breathing breaking the silence.
And yet, Deirdre could not rest easy. Although everything else appeared like every other night, she still had a feeling something was not quite right. It may have been her imagination. But over the years, she'd also come to trust her intuition in these things.
Carefully, she looked at Arvis sleeping next to him. With a deep breath pushing away the last of her hesitance, she firmly shook his shoulder. Deep in his sleep as he was, it took a few tries – but when Arvis jolted awake with a loud gasp, the whites of his eyes shining in the dark, Deirdre knew she'd made the right call.
- Another nightmare, my dear?
Slowly, Arvis turned to look at her. He was breathing heavily, and seemed to take a while to realize who she was, but when he did, his expression calmed, if only a touch.
- Deirdre... It's... nothing. I'm fine.
- … Are you sure?
He insisted he was, he always did. But by now, Deirdre was wise to his tricks. So instead, she pulled him close, resting his head on her chest and stroking his hair gently. It didn't take long for Arvis to relax into her embrace – a clear sign of how much he'd improved over the years – and a few moments of silence after, he gave in to the unspoken invitation.
- I saw my father again, he whispered. - That day when I... when I walked to his office and... And he was... I didn't realize it at first. But of course now, I know what it means, seeing his body hang from the ceiling like that...
Saying nothing, Deirdre instead opted for cooing calmly, her petting of his head continuing with gentle resolve. She knew it was better to just let him speak. He'd get it all out if you just gave him enough time.
- But when I tried to go find my mother... She wasn't there. I looked and I looked, it was like running for hours, but no matter what, she wasn't there...!
Another Arvis may have cried in the moment, let the tears bring the catharsis he needed. But this Arvis, who had to relive his pain on regular basis, had long since lost the ability. All Deirdre could do was be there, to make sure her touch never faltered. To make sure she wouldn't become another scar in his life.
- … What if that happens again? What if... I'll become all alone like back then...?
The whisper was so sudden Deirdre at first thought she'd misheard. For Arvis, admitting weakness was a four letter word. To hear him lay out his fears so bare, it was almost surreal – but Deirdre never failed to be there when she was needed the most.
- It won't happen again. I promise, I won't ever let that happen again.
But for some reason, the words didn't seem to reassure him. Instead, a look like nothing she'd seen before came over Arvis, almost like pain, shame, or guilt, possibly all three, as he stared off into the darkness of their room.
- How can you be so sure? How can you be so sure that one day, you won't just decide to leave and---
- That won't happen, Deirdre said, sterner than ever before. She brought her hand to Arvis' cheek, and forced him to look her in the eye. - I promise, so long as even a breathe of life remains in my body, I will not leave you to suffer like that.
For a moment, Arvis could not get a word out. Yet his brief surprise did little to change that look on his face.
- How can you be so sure?
Deirdre wondered what it was that made him ask such things. Had they not been married for long enough for him to already know the answer?
- Because you are my beloved husband, she said simply. - You say so often how I am your pillar of strength, but... do you not realize you are that to me as well? Before, I was in so much anguish over my lost past... Yet it was you who brought certainty to my life, yes, it was you who allowed me to build something beautiful and serene to where before there'd only been chaos. My beloved husband, who gave me love and two wonderful children... A family. How could I not want to protect what we have with all my heart?
Finally, the look faded as all that remained on Arvis' face was pure and utter shock. Deirdre had never been a woman of many words, but when she did speak... It always came from the heart, and left no room for objection. After a bit, her earnesty earned her the slightest of smiles from Arvis, which, when coming from him, could just as easily rival the stars and the moon.
- Well... When it comes to our children... I do believe you did most of the work there, Arvis chuckled. A little muted, but Deirdre took her victories when she could.
- And you supported me every step of the way, she remained him softly, before kissing his forehead. - I love you, Arvis. Please... Never forget that.
There was a slight hesitance in the air, before Arvis relinquished it with a soft sigh.
- I love you too.
They looked at each for a bit more, smiling tenderly, beforing sharing a soft kiss and settling back to sleep. Deep down, Deirdre was aware that there was something more Arvis had wanted to say. That moment of silence had betrayed the pain that he could not yet put to words. Yet the day would come when he could no longer hold the pain in his heart in, and she knew that on that day, their relationship would change forever.
But for now, none of that mattered. For now, she wanted to pretend there was nothing in the world but the two of them, their love in this sweet moment of serenity.