Chapter Text
They haven't left yet. They won, yet they're still here.
Why are they still here? …Why are you still here? The loops are over, aren't they? Then why is Loop still here? Why aren't you gone?
Doesn't matter.
You’re sure that when they go, You’ll disappear too. Become part of the universe, or whatever. One of the many stars up there.
It just hurts to be here. To know that they won. That they got their happy ending. And you got nothing. No one. Nobody. No closure.
You just don't understand why they haven't left yet.
Nobody's come to the Favor Tree. After all, what else is there to wish for? They've all been too busy celebrating. They've all already gotten what they asked for. They're happy.
Why can't you be happy too? It's not fair. You miss them too. You also want to eat with them. Laugh with them. Cry with them. You too wish you-
Wish?
No… Too late for that, haha…
UUGHH!!!
IS THIS SERIOUSLY WHAT YOU WISHED FOR?
There's been a misunderstanding. Clearly! You weren't told that there could be a happy ending. You just gotta make one more wish- The Universe must be kind enough to let you do that after all you've been through! If only you could find another leaf to wish on…
Hmm… No, no, that one's too big…
Too small…
Too smooth…
Too perfect…
That's a feather…
Ah- That one! Yes! That's the one!
Its shade is so bright, and it's all pointy on the sides…
Ah- Oops you took it too quickly, it's got a tear in it now…
Haha…
NOW IT'S EVEN MORE LIKE YOU!
Oh- stars- right- your wish-
Your wish! Your wish, your wish… Alright… You gotta be careful about this.
…
What does he have that you don't… What did you do wrong… What can fix this situation…
You let the chirping of the birds and rustle of the leaves guide your intentions.
…
Yes… That's it…
Alright… You've done this before.
You hold the leaf up to your face…
“I wish…”
You hear footsteps approaching.
UGGGGHHHHHH
Now is the worst time for an actor to come! Oh well. You duck behind the Tree's trunk. You don't want this actor to see you. They can do their thing first, it shouldn't take them long, anyways. Then once they're done it'll be your turn to make a wish. You suppose this will give you more time to think of the right wording for your own.
You decide to just take one quick peek at the approaching figure before hiding indefinitely. You much prefer to know what you're hiding from.
Tall. Undercut. Loose clothes. Distracted by his own thoughts. That's the Defender isn't it? You find it strange to recognize him from this angle. You've grown used to seeing the side or back of his head. What is he doing here? What's he gonna wish for? You turn away. Out of sight out of mind.
The gravel path crinkles beneath his feet until he stops. You hear him breathe in, and out, then you hear him clap his hands.
You hold in a chuckle, knowing that that's not how wishes work, but it's no use correcting him. When he's gone, you'll make your wish the correct way and his will be worthless.
“OK, Favor Tree! I'm here to make another wish!” He sounds serious. How amusing. He's really sure of himself, isn't he?
“So, first of all, thanks for yesterday! I'm back though! Oh! Um... That's fine, right? Making a second wish? Hm… Oh well, it's worth a try! Ok! Oh, wait, what if there's a better way than just saying my wish… Hey, Favor Tree, um, if I went and, like…
Boooooring. You tone out his voice and think about your own wish. You hold the leaf in your hand and look down at it.
It'll work with a broken leaf too, right? You don't want to think about it too hard. You pull your knees up to your chest and wait for a quiet moment.
Hearing the Defender's voice is calming. You always found it comforting. His hurried words, the awkward giggles; you've memorized his speech patterns by now. But you're not listening. You're just hearing him speak.
Eventually the Defender finishes and thanks the Tree for its time. It takes him more than a minute, a very long but soothing minute for you. You don't care. This was a nice way to spend your last minutes in this timeline or whatever. You hear his footsteps getting further away. That's your cue.
You could make your wish now. But taking another peek wouldn't hurt, right? See a Defender that you recognize.
You take a peek from behind the trunk and look at him. There's the Fighter you know. The back of his head. Those two little strands of hair on the top of his head and the moon shape they make… You've always wanted to tell him about that. Every single loop. But you just watched silently. And when you actually spoke to him it was a very different conversation.
And now he's leaving you again. You think you'll miss him after your wish comes true. You think you regret never telling him who you are. Never telling anyone who you really are.
“Did you know that the hair on your head looks like the moon?”
Who said that? Oh, Stars, did you say that? The words escaped you before you could even realize what you were doing. There's no way he didn't hear that. Oh stars, he's stopped in his tracks. Why did you say that? He's looking at you. His eyes squint and then grow wide in surprise. Oh no. He recognizes you. He remembers Loop.
“Loop? Is that you?”
You'd clench your jaw if you had one. It's him. It's actually him. And he's talking to you. You could talk to him now, like you've always wanted. Why won't you tell him who you are? You can do that now, can't you? You have all the time that you want, don't you? He's slowly approaching you. Come on, do something! Anything! Don't just stand there like an idiot, act!
But, oh Stars, did he hear what you said? That would have been embarras-
“And what did you say about my hair and the Moon?”
Busted! Change the subject, quick!
“Oh- Nothing! Just something about your hair… Anyways, what are you doing here, stardust?”
You don't have a nickname for him yet. You probably look very suspicious, so you walk out of the Favor Tree's shade with an exaggerated motion, changing your tone to the usual mysterious and charismatic Loop. The mask you always wore with Stardust.
“Oh! Really? I never realized” He taps the top of his head, missing the spot. “Um, I- I came here to make a wish? What else would one do at the Favour Tree?”
So insightful. He approaches like an old friend seeing a buddy after a long time. A wide and comforting smile on his face.
“But- How are you? I'm so glad you're here! Thank you so much again for yesterday, really- we couldn’t have…”
The words linger in the air briefly, then he looks straight at you with a slight worry. He makes his body smaller by pulling his arms closer to his chest.
“Did I- summon you with my wish?”
You want to burst out laughing. Not only does he remember what you did yesterday and regard you as more than an acquaintance, which is very odd; but he also thinks that he's the reason why you're here. Why would anyone Wish you were here? What could you do to make anything better? All you do is watch and sit and occasionally dream.
But the Fighter just gave you the best card in the deck. You can twist the truth in your favor. He doesn't have to know who you really are.
“I don't know, did you?”
You take one step forward. He takes one back and brings his hands closer to his chest. Cute.
“Well I don't think so? Or maybe? Um, I don't know? Indirectly maybe?"
He reaches to the back of his head and scratches his neck, awkwardly pondering the possibilities and looking around.
"Did I do that yesterday too?! Oh crab!”"
“You didn't wish for me to come back? Aww, do you really hate me that much?” You tease and pout. Or try to without a mouth. You furrow your brows and lean your forehead towards him.
“What? No! Not at all! I'm so glad we met you, actually!” You can see a million thoughts running through his mind. “You helped us out a lot yesterday when… Well… You know… That whole ordeal happened…” He looks to the ground, unsure of how to approach the subject.
Yes. That. The day they got their happy ending and you were doomed as the background character. You don't know how to reply to that. Your heart sinks just thinking about it and you feel rage coursing through your body and you feel a sadness overcoming you and
You stop thinking about it. You don't think about the envy you still feel. You remember the Wish you were about to Craft. You change the subject.
“Well sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of the bed; but, tell me, Fighter, what is it that you wished for?” You tease instead. If you knew what he told the Tree you could wish him good luck so he can leave and you can get to your blinding Wish to get out of this blinding place with all these blinding people you don't really recog
“...Fighter?” He looks at you blankly.
Oh, Stars.
Oh, you blinding idiot, this isn't the Fighter, this is the Defender. Oh, you've done it now. Did you seriously think this one was yours? No!!! NO!!! THIS ONE IS STARDUST'S, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE. YOU'RE NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE. YOU BLINDING GAVE HIM UP!!! FIX YOUR MISTAKE!! DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!
“DEFENDEEER! That's what I meant to say, stardust! Ugh, all these titles get sooo confusing, haha~!”
Sooo smooth Loop. Great job. You blinding idiot. You try to squint your eyes at him, as if smiling, and wave your hand flamboyantly. The Defender (Don't get blinding confused again!) smiles back at you. Can you stop having this conversation already? You have a Wish to get to.
…But you can’t ignore it.
There is a part of you that wants to keep talking to him. This is the last chance you'll get with him. Even though you know he doesn't want you. Something within you thinks that maybe there's still a chance for you, but it's a tiny unremarkable feeling.
“I mean, I guess I did leave the Defenders in Jouvente and everything, so… I understand the confusion, but I'm actually st…”
Oh, he does not want to shut up, does he? He's so blinding cute ANNOYING!!! You can't take it anymore. He needs to get out. Fallen stars can't wish to be fixed, they have to start over if they want to shine again.
Ok. You make a quick plan in your mind. He thinks he summoned you. He still seems to think that you’re a Star. You can tell him that Stars need to know Wishes in order for them to come true. And then you can do your secret Wish Craft and he'll leave you alone and you can stop this futile act and finally get your Wish out.
You don't want him to leave though.
That part of you that still dreams of having a chance with him is stronger for some reason. You push it back as far as you can.
“Stop jumping around the question, Defender!! What'd you wish for? I'm a Star, I have to know or else your wish won't come true~”
“Oh, you do? Well- in that case, I wished for Siffrin to get better.”
…
Huh?
You’re- Well you didn't expect that Wish.
You thought he'd wish to finally confess to Stardust, considering that's what he'd been repeating under his breath every blinding loop. But he wished for Siffrin to get better. For an infinitesimal fraction of a second you thought he was talking about you, but you know that's not true. You know who he's talking about. Your nemesis. The one who took your place. But. They're sick? Or you assume so. You don't know why, but you're a little worried for them. That sickly hopeful part of you tugs at your heartstrings. No. You don't care. You hate Stardust. You do. You truly do. With every inch of your being.
But. He cares. The Defender cares about Sif- Stardust. He cares about Stardust, not about you. He’ll forget you soon. Everyone will eventually. He doesn’t actually care. He doesn’t. He Doesn’t. HE DOESN’T!!! STOP WANTING THIS!!! YOU WON’T GET GOOD THINGS!!! YOU ALREADY GAVE IT UP!!!
“...Loop?”
He's looking at you strangely. Why? Oh. Could it be the fact that you've been staring at him vacantly without saying anything? Thank the Stars that you're great at improvisation.
“Y-Yes! I was just taking the wish in. For it to. Come true. It’s a very long process. Very bureaucratic!”
You're not being very convincing. Oh, Stars, how do you continue this conversation- You're unsure of your initial wish now, The Defender cares so much about Stardust, could he-
“Okaay? I mean, I'm pretty sure that my wish was pretty simple… Do you need, like, extra information? For the wish to come true?”
You don't.
“Yes, I do!”
You're a fool for thinking you can keep him.
“OK! So, Sif got pretty sick after… yesterday” He still has difficulties speaking about that day. Understandable, you don't like to think about it either. You feel the hopeful part of you sink. “They got Craft sickness, so they've been bedridden since yesterday night at dinner, poor guy threw up all his dinner! But they also wanna get out to continue our adventure I think? He keeps telling Bonbon that he's fine and that we can start going to Bambouche- Oh, Bonbon is the kid, Bambouche is where they're from, - but they insist on Sif staying in bed and healing up all the way, talking about something their sister did back…”
So they're all still here because Stardust is sick? They did use a lot of Craft throughout the loops, you should have seen this coming… But this is good! They're still here.
Maybe you have hope. Maybe you don't have to Wish for a happy ending. Maybe that hopeful part of you is right.
He's probably talking about Stardust's family's reaction to him being sick. And filling you in on details of their personal lives. He really cares for them, doesn't he? For a second you think about the possibility of him caring for you, too. And the thought lingers.
The Defender raises his voice a bit to emphasize a point he's making, but you're still just thinking about your Wish and the possibility of just trying without any Craft. It might go well,
…
It wouldn't hurt to try, right? If they're still here, you can try again. Worst case scenario, you fail and Craft your Wish. The Favor Tree will always be here, anyways. And there’s other rituals, if you’re that desperate.
The Defender takes a deep breath now, but you know he isn't done. He's about to say something more serious now. He always does this. That slight change in expression as his eyebrows lower and he looks to the ground. His voice is going to be softer too, you're going to have to listen closely. He's about to give you an important detail. He's going to tell you something more personal now. It would be rude not to listen.
He also looks very cute, all serious like that, thinking that he's wishing upon a Star.
“...And, well, I guess my wish isn't just that he'd get better physically, but mentally too. You definitely know more about this than me, but… All the time loop stuff must have really messed with their brain. They still haven't talked about it, but they’ve been… disconnected? Somehow? He doesn't even get continue pun chains! Do you know how serious that is?”
“Whaaat? Stardust has become a monster! They're completely out of the loop!”
You exaggerate. You miss making puns with the Fighter! You miss the hanging out with him. You miss...
…
You miss being a person.
“I know right!!?” He holds his hands out, exaggerating the action but still looking serious and worried. He'd make a great acting partner.
“So, yeah, that's pretty much my wish. You can make it come true right?”
Oh right he still thinks you can grant his wish, pfft what an idiot!
“I can make any wish come true” You wink at him. OK, WEIRDO STOP DOING THINGS YOU DON'T MEAN TO. HE NEEDS TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW THAT WAS VERY EMBARRASSING. “You best be on your way, though! Stardust will surely feel better with you around!” His presence sure made you feel better, at least.
The Defender skips in place. “Oh, right! Crab, how long have I been here? Mira's probably done with her Siffsit shift!” His back faces you again. You see the Fighter leave. Then he turns with a grin “Thank you so much again Loop! I won’t forget you!”
You smile at him and shout back: “Anytime, stardust! I'll be here! Keep me updated!”
The last part slips out without you realizing. Do you want to see the Fighter again? Or is it Stardust you're worried about? Could it be both?
You watch him leave, quick steps on the gravel path making small clouds of dust. He's gone now. You're alone. But you don't have to be.
You walk back to the tree. You look at the broken leaf, the one you were about to make a wish with.
It's a darkless leaf. Its ridges are pointy, and it has a tear that goes from the top to the middle of the leaf.
No need to wish for something so close. The Figh- no. The Defender cares too much about Siffrin to not come back here. You've made yourself a valuable resource to him. And now you have the time to come up with a good plan for your happy ending.
You want someone to care for you. Stardust did, or at least you hope so. Maybe once. You want someone to see you. And The Defender… He remembered you. He saw you. Well, he saw what you wanted to show him. With enough time maybe he can care about you like he cares about Siffrin.
You rip the leaf to shreds.
Time for a new story.