Chapter Text
They had to stop meeting like this. On bridges and the edge of platforms where they wanted to kill each other or themselves.
Ekko's arm tightened around Jinx's waist, supporting her weight so she could walk as best as she could on her unsteady legs.
It took him five times of rewinding time to convince her to listen to him. And finally, the bomb had slipped from her fingers and down into the bottomless pit below them. A haze of blue smoke erupted when the bomb exploded making Jinx's knees give out. Ekko was next to her in a second.
“Let's go home,” he had said and there they were.
It was just that Jinx had never considered that was home.
“Is that a treehouse?” Jinx said, looking up at the Firelight tree. It was the first time she had spoken since he rescued her, her voice coming out hoarse from not being used.
“It’s not a treehouse,” he explained, guiding them to the stairs on the side of the massive trunk. “It's the Firelight base. My home.”
Jinx looked around her, drinking in every detail of the abandoned sewer that the Firelights had transformed into a community. It was dark already and the firelights had gone out, shedding their green light all around them. So colorful. So beautiful out there. But the doors were closed and not a single person was on the street, nobody enjoying the beauty of the night.
“It's so quiet,” Jinx pointed out.
Ekko pressed his lips together. “They must have evacuated after everything that has happened.”
Jinx said no more. As they ascended the stairs her eyes fell on the memorial painted on the wall. Her heartstrings pulled at the sight. Her younger self, a face she hardly recognized anymore, smiled back at her. And she wasn't alone. Vi. Vander. Mylo. Claggor. Benzo.
The voices buzzed loud in the back of her mind.
Jinx’s head snapped away from the memorial.
“Shut up,” she whispered, a tired, weak sound.
Ekko creased his brow in confusion and worry.
“We’re almost there,” he reassured as they reached the wooden deck.
Hooking his arm around her, he half-carried her to the front door. Pushing it open he welcomed the familiar scenery of his home, the same as he had left it more than a month ago.
Jinx scoffed. “Can't believe you live in a treehouse.”
Ekko ignored the comment, stepping further into the room. The arm around his neck was pulled away, Jinx's body slipping away from his side as she sat heavily on the sofa. Ekko tried to ignore the absence of her warmth against his body as he fell on the floor, too tired to make the effort to walk to a chair. Both of them were too exhausted to do anything other than simply rest.
He shifted on the floor, sitting up with his back against the wall. He took his big gloves off, flexing his fingers. Slowly, he pulled the strap of the Z-drive off his shoulder, setting it carefully next to him.
“What’s that?”
Ekko's eyes raised to her. She was looking at the Z-drive with an unreadable expression on her face.
“It's a Hextech device."
“No shit,” she rolled her eyes. “What does it do?”
“It can manipulate time.”
Jinx furrowed her brow. “Bullshit.”
“Believe what you want.”
Pink eyes followed the pattern of monkeys along the base of the Z-drive. They had caught her attention back at the platform too. They felt familiar, like the ones she would doodle on her own inventions. It was so strange.
“Did you build it yourself?”
Ekko held his breath. She was treading on dangerously thin ice. The memories he had shared with the Powder from the alternative reality still burned a hole in his chest.
“I had help.”
“From who?”
Ekko slowly rose from the floor, his muscles aching from the effort.
“I'll go turn on the water heater. Will take some time until the water gets hot but you can take a shower.”
Jinx raised an eyebrow. Running water was considered a luxury in Zaun. She couldn't understand how a street gang was able to obtain something so precious but she wouldn't turn down a shower. She felt so dirty.
Ekko disappeared behind a door, leaving her alone in the hall. He turned the valve on. As he did so, he caught his reflection on the bathroom mirror. Ash and dirt covered every inch of him and blood dried on a cut above his right eyebrow. The Firelight symbol on his face had faded almost completely from the explosions of Jinx’s bomb.
He let out a deep breath. The sound of the pipes as they began heating the water echoed in his ears. Other than that it was quiet. Too quiet.
Ekko groaned as he turned around. He shouldn't have left her alone with the Z-drive.
Jinx was standing up but it wasn't the time machine in her hands. A pair of sharp scissors shone in the limited light of the room. Ekko's heart stopped beating. He hadn't thought that she would try to harm herself again so quickly after the events on the platform.
His hand reached for the handle of the Z-drive but it wasn't there. He was out of time.
No. He couldn't lose her.
The silver blades of the scissors opened, ready to close around–
“No!”
–a blue strand of hair that swirled in the air before hitting the floor.
Jinx looked at Ekko’s hand that was wrapped around her wrist. The man had rushed to her unprovoked, clutching her so tightly her fingers gave out. The pair of scissors fell to the floor with a thump.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He screamed in desperation, his heart pounding in fear.
“I was trying to fix my hair,” Jinx said, too tired to pull her hand away from his grasp.
Ekko looked at her, chest heaving from the adrenaline. Her messily chopped hair barely reached her shoulders, a sharp contrast to the long braids she used to have.
It was the first time he looked straight at her after a really long time. The dark eyeshadow on her eyes had run down her cheeks, leaving black tear trails on the pale skin. Her angry red eyes were droopy from how tired she was. She looked a mess and yet Ekko couldn't take his eyes off her.
He sighed, anger leaving his sustem. “Let me do it then.”
Jinx found herself sitting on the bathroom floor between Ekko's open legs. Ekko was sitting behind her, scissors in hand cutting her hair. Jinx was humming the melody of a lullaby as he painted the tiles blue with her strands. He was thoroughly entranced in his task, trying his best to not mess her hair even more.
“You know,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. “The only hair I have ever cut is my own so if you end up hating them don't blow me up, alright?”
Her humming stopped but she didn't respond. Ekko silently cursed himself. He didn't have high hopes that they would be able to talk freely to each other but he had at least hoped for something other than silence on her part.
“Can you really turn back time with that thing?”
Her question took him by surprise. Ekko blinked dumbfounded before rushing to respond to her, clinging to her unexpected action of interest.
“Only for a few seconds. Four, to be exact.”
“Then it is no good for me.”
Jinx swifted on the floor, her shoulders tensing. “If I could turn back time I would do so many things differently.”
The scissors halted in his hand. Jinx brought her legs to her chest, hugging them tightly. She was so tired, so confused. The blurry visions she had seen at the memorial only enhanced her fatigue. She just wanted the pain to stop, to close her eyes and kill the voices forever. Should have jumped, should have died.
“Everyone that gets close to me dies. Everyone I care about, gone because of me. Isha. Isha gone.”
Hot tears rolled down her eyes, burning her skin. Everyone's gone. Isha's gone. How could she forget? She was a Jinx. Raven amongst doves. The whole world against her.
“I destroy everything I touch,” she grumbled through sobs, her shoulders shaking.
Big arms circled around her, knocking the air out of Jinx's lungs. Her back was flat against his chest as Ekko held her tight in his arms. He was holding her, not caring about the sweat and dirt on her.
“Don't say that,” he whispered, turning her head to look at him.
His thumb brushed away the tears that slipped from her eyes, some transparent and some tinged with a pinkish hue caused by the Shimmer in her system.
Ekko frowned. As she cried in his arms it was as if he was seeing her for the first time. The face of the terrorizing anarchist that Silco had created, withered. She was just a scared, lost child. Like him.
“You don't destroy everything you touch. You don't.”
“I do,” Jinx leaned her head against his chest. “My head, it's a prison. I can't get out, I can't.”
“Shush,” Ekko said gently, taking a wet washcloth from the sink next to them. He passed the warm cloth over her cheeks, gathering the smudged eyeshadow and tears that were staining her face.
“I'm going to get you out of there, okay?”
Jinx looked at him. He had kind eyes. Big and brown and honest. She didn't remember his eyes being so…pretty.
The revelation frightened her. She couldn't be imagining them, right?
“Are you real?”
Ekko chuckled. “Last time I checked.”
He had a nice laugh. Nice smile too. Jinx was taken aback by it. Was that the first time he had smiled at her or was she too enamored in killing him that she had not noticed it before?
“Come on,” he said as he got up, offering his hand for her to take. “Your haircut's done.”
Jinx took his hand, warm in her own cold one, letting him pull her up. She winced, the effort of getting up making her tired body ache. Still, she balanced herself on bending knees and took a look at herself in the cracked mirror.
She let out a low gasp. Her hair was shorter than ever before, longer on the right side and almost buzzed on the left one. Her fringe made her look so much like…
“Vi.”
Ekko looked at her tentatively through the mirror. “I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. I just–”
“Looks decent enough,” Jinx cut him off, her eyes meeting him through the glass.
Something stirred within Ekko. They had finally found common ground, talking calmly without being on each other's throats.
While Jinx inspected her new haircut, he opened the faucet letting the hot water run. He placed the washcloth under it and leaned his back against the wall as he passed the wet washcloth over his face.
“Who's Isha?”
Jinx's head whiplashed around. She must have said Isha's name while she was rumbling.
“She was…” Her sister? Her adoptive child? Her friend? Someone she cared about?
“Just a kid,” she concluded, bitterly. “And she's dead. Because of me.”
Ekko said nothing. He passed the washcloth over his face, gathering the white face paint and blood. Jinx furrowed her brow. He had wiped her tears and makeup with it and was using it on him too. Did he not mind that she was unclean?
“She was like a sister.”
Jinx surprised herself when her high pitched voice reached her ears. She didn't know why she continued talking to him about Isha. Hadn't he tried to kill her? Abandoned her like everyone else? But then again, so had she.
“An annoying, little sister that meddled on my business and caused havoc.”
“Yeah, I hear younger sisters got that.”
Jinx's frown deepened at the devilish smirk on Ekko's face. His face, all high cheekbones and sharp features. Had he always looked this good? It was annoying. Annoying, annoying, so annoying.
She shook her head, making her scattered thoughts disappear.
“But she was an alright kid, I guess. Kinda smart too. Helped me build some stuff. And we actually had fun together.”
Tears began welling up in the corners of her eyes. Memories felt like a dagger on her back, each one reaching deeper and deeper into her.
“She got in the middle. Sacrificed herself. For me. Can you fucking believe it? Why would someone die for me? Me?”
Ekko's eyes fell on the blue hair on the floor. “You would be surprised to know that people care for you. Despite everything.”
Jinx grabbed the sink, stabilizing herself. The cold porcelain like ice against her hands. It was too much. Her paranoia returned, making her brain numb.
“Listen.”
Ekko left the washcloth on the sink, his hands reaching for her shoulders. At first she jerked away from the touch but leaned in right away before Ekko could pull away. He was close to her, face clean from smudges and blood. Handsome, so handsome it pissed her off.
“I understand. I know how it is to lose someone you love. You know I do.”
Jinx bit her lower lip. Of course she knew. She was responsible for taking people from his life too. Her tears ran freely.
“And I know it hurts. You can't make it stop. But Powd– eh, Jinx, the pain will pass. You will miss her but you will have the memories.”
Jinx held his forearms, her legs ready to give out. No, no memories were bad, all bad.
“Not all of them,” Ekko said, voice soft. Jinx hadn't realized she had spoken aloud.
“Isha would want you to remember every good moment you two shared. Because she cared about you. I know she did.”
The pressing on her chest seemed to give out. She remembered when she dyed Isha's hair blue so they would match. A bittersweet laugh escaped her.
“She was an alright kid,” Jinx's gaze was cast downwards, avoiding his eyes.
“I wish I had met her.”
Jinx's stomach turned into a knot. Her head lowered until her chin rested on her chest. He couldn't say shit like that and expect her not to…
His hands cradled her face, making her look at him. Jinx held her breath at their close proximity. She never liked others being close to her, especially touching her but she realized she didn't mind the feel of his calloused hands on her. She didn't mind it one bit.
“You're not alone.”
He was so kind. Kind and stupid. Stupid most of all. Because why would he be kind to her when she had ruined so much that was his?
Jinx tilted her head back, trying to make her tears stop falling.
“I'm sorry.”
“You don't have to–”
“About your Firelights,” Jinx watched as Ekko's jaw clenched at the memory of his comrades that she had killed on the airship.
Ekko nodded curtly. He didn't give her his forgiveness and she didn't ask for it again.
“Don't think about the past,” he said. He could give her that at least.
Pulling back from her he cleared his throat. Jinx had to grasp the sink again im fear of her legs failing her.
“You can go ahead and jump in the shower. Just don't use all the hot water cause it takes a shit ton of time to heat up again.”
Jinx just stared at him. She looked like she wanted to say something so Ekko stopped in his tracks before he could leave the bathroom.
“Ekko?”
“Hm?”
“I don't think I can move my legs. Or my arms.”
He fluttered his lashes. They were long and dark, Jinx noticed.
“Okay,” he said very slowly.
“Help me get in the shower?”
Ekko went very still. Very, very still. Jinx wondered if his brain malfunctioned. He looked at the way Jinx's legs shook, her tight hold of the sink.
“You good?”
“Yeah,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I'll help you out.”