Fragments of a False Past

by the_writers_block15

Summary:

After a failed Legilimency lesson, Harry stumbles into memories of a young Severus Snape and a life-altering night involving the Marauders. Desperate for answers, Harry sneaks out of Hogwarts to confront Sirius, uncovering long-hidden truths that not even the remaining Marauders or Severus, himself, fully understood. As buried memories and manipulations come to light, Harry realizes the past is far more complicated than the stories he’s been told, and the revelations threaten to shift alliances, shatter perceptions, and rewrite the dynamics between those left behind.

Notes:

Here I am, ignoring all of my WIP for an idea I had while I was waking up in the morning.

Chapter 1: The Boy in the Meadows

Harry raised his wand, his heart hammering in his chest. "Protego!" he shouted, his voice cracking with desperation as he attempted to block his professor’s unrelenting Legilimency attacks.

But the shield was too weak. His mind buckled under the weight of Severus Snape’s intrusion.

Memories, none of them his own, surged through Harry like a tidal wave. A young boy with long, black hair and tattered robes was at the center of every vision.

In one memory, the boy stood in a sunlit meadow, a stark silhouette against the vibrant greens and yellows. Beside him, a girl with fiery red hair twirled in delight, her laughter filling the air. Her radiance contrasted sharply with the boy’s dark, worn clothing and solemn expression.

The scene shifted abruptly. Now the children stood on Platform 9 ¾, the hustle and bustle of Hogwarts students all around them. The girl chatted animatedly, her excitement evident in every gesture, while the boy—Severus—remained stoic, though his eyes betrayed a glimmer of anticipation.

Another vision came. This time, the setting was more chaotic. Severus was surrounded by a group of boys, his wand raised defensively. The Marauders. Hexes and insults flew back and forth like arrows, and the hallway seemed less like a school and more like a battlefield. The relentless pranks, cruel laughter, and unspoken tension painted a vivid picture of Severus’ strained life at Hogwarts.

The memories blurred again, and Harry found himself in a clearing near the Whomping Willow. The full moon hung heavy in the sky, casting an eerie glow on a battered Severus slumped against a tree. His robes were torn, his breathing labored.

“What the hell were you thinking, Sirius?” a voice demanded, sharp with anger. It echoed in Harry’s mind, distant and unclear.

“I—I don’t know! I have no idea what just happened!” Sirius sounded frantic, desperate.

“Why would you tell him to go to the Shrieking Shack on a full moon?” James’ voice cut through the haze, growing clearer. “Moony could’ve killed him! And if that had happened, they’d have come after Remus! It’s a bloody miracle I got to him in time!”

“What? I’d never do that!” Sirius turned to James, his voice raw with fear and confusion. “I swear, I’d never risk—Is Moony okay?”

“You should’ve thought of that before you exposed his secret to this git!” James snapped, his tone filled with fury.

Severus’ vision blurred, and he slumped unconscious against the tree.

Harry gasped as he snapped back into reality, stumbling against the desk in Snape’s office. His professor loomed over him, his black eyes blazing with fury.

“Mister Potter!” Snape’s voice was as sharp as a blade. “How dare you invade my mind—my memories—in such a way?”

“I’m sorry!” Harry stammered, his thoughts spinning. “I—I don’t know what happened!”

“Leave,” Snape ordered, his voice icy and controlled.

“But I—”

“Leave at once, Mister Potter!” Snape’s tone left no room for argument.

Harry scrambled to his feet and fled the office, his heart pounding as he made his way back to the Gryffindor common room. His mind raced with the fragments of memories he had seen. What happened that night at the Shrieking Shack?

Chapter 2: Guilty Party

Harry paced around the Gryffindor common room, trying to piece together the memories he saw. It was clear that his father and his friends had been bullies. They had attacked his professor the same way Dudley and his friends had attacked Harry. Something had happened that night at the shack, though. Something far beyond house rivalry or unprompted duals in the hallways. Harry knew his professor would never tell him. The man buried way too much of the past within himself to dig it out. 

Making up his mind, Harry ran up to his room and pulled his father’s cloak out of his trunk. Hiding behind the cloak, he made his way to the headmaster’s office, which contained the only functioning floo network in the school. With Dumbledore away on a mission and the portraits asleep, he should be able to make it to Grimmauld Place with no problem. 

When he arrived, he found a startled looking Sirius Black nursing a fire whiskey in the dimly lit room. “What are you doing awake?” asked the younger boy.

“What are you doing out of school?” Sirius retorted, no real heat to his remark. Harry shrugged but took a seat on the sofa next to his godfather’s chair.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Harry said. Sirius nodded. Harry paused, hesitant to continue but finally pushed on. “I saw something in Professor Snape’s memories. He was badly injured. Dad was mad at you. It was the full moon. I didn’t completely understand but I knew Snape wouldn’t give me a straight answer.” 

A beat of silence passed as Sirius processed the information. Harry could see realization flicker across Sirius’ face. He slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. Just as Harry was about to reach out, about to end the conversation, Sirius straightened once more. 

“What did he tell you?” Sirius asked, attempting to keep his voice under control.

“Nothing. I don’t even know what I saw. I accidentally attacked him during our Occlumency lessons and he kicked me out.” explained Harry. Sirius took a deep breath, not wanting the anger and buried feelings to be seen. 

“Whatever happened was between us. I don’t think it’s necessary…” Sirius started. 

“But I think it is,” Harry cut in. “What happened then is clearly affecting things today – it’s clearly affecting me. Professor Snape can’t even look at me. He treats me differently because of all of this, whether it's intentional or not. He hates Mooney, too.”

Sirius’ eye snapped up at that last comment, unaware of how that one night was still carrying its consequences. Finally, the older man relented. “Alright. Fine. We never really got along, Severus and I…” Sirius began the tale. He went on to explain how the two took an instant dislike toward one another on their first train ride to Hogwarts. He explained how James’ feelings for Lily had added fuel to the fire and how, in their fourth year, James had publicly humiliated Snape in front of the entire school.

“But then,” Sirius continued, his voice softening, “I found him crying by the edge of the forest. I didn’t expect it, but… we talked. Over the summer, we even wrote letters. When we came back for fifth year, though, he had changed, grown into his awkward features and my feelings…” He trailed off, his expression tightening. “... well, they got complicated. I didn’t know how to handle it. I pushed him away. Made things worse.”

Shit hit the fan later that year when Severus became suspicious of the Marauders' activities and Sirius had challenged him to come to the Shrieking Shack during the full moon. Severus had come, unable to back down from such a dare and ended up in the hospital wing for his troubles. Remus had almost gotten him but James intervened at the last minute and saved Severus’ life. This incident had cemented their relationship into hatred. Nothing could ever change that, according to Sirius. Harry patiently listened to the story, taking in the hidden past he had known nothing about. 

“It’s not something I’m proud of,” Sirius finished, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harry absorbed the story, his chest tight. “What happened after?”

“Well,” Sirius replied. “You know. We just hated each other, even when we fought on the same side of the war, he still hated me.”

“No, I mean didn’t you get in trouble?” Harry clarified.

“I mean we couldn’t play Quidditch for a week but that was about it.” Sirius shrugged. 

Harry’s jaw dropped. “A week ? That’s it? He nearly died , Sirius! And I got detention for throwing a paper at Draco!”

Sirius gave a half-hearted shrug, but his shame was evident. “It was different back then,” he muttered.

“Did you even apologize?” Harry pressed.

Sirius looked away. “I wouldn’t know where to begin. And for the life of me, Harry… I don’t even remember inviting him there. I know what happened, but I don’t remember doing it . James told me afterward, yelling about how I could’ve turned Moony into a murderer. But…”

Harry’s eyes widened even more. He felt the wheels turning in his brain. “That’s strange. That’s the only scene I saw in Professor Snape’s memory too. Do you think…?” Harry paused. 

Sirius leaned in closer. “Do I think what?” he probed. 

“Do you think Professor Snape manipulated those memories? Maybe that’s why you didn’t get punished? Because there wasn’t enough proof?” Harry asked, conspiratorially.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his long forgotten whiskey. “I don’t know. He was definitely injured. I remember taking him to the hospital wing after he passed out. He didn’t come back to class for a month!” 

 “Yeah, but maybe he made up the part about you inviting him. Maybe he lied to dad and actually just followed you out!” Harry exclaimed. 

Sirius shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter now. It’s been over 20 years.” Harry nodded, though his mind was already far away, thinking about the possibilities. 

“Can I stay here for the night?” he asked suddenly, not ready to leave his godfather just yet.

Sirius’ somber mood shifts into glee. “Oh, yeah! Why not?” Sirius exclaimed. “I was bored and decided to start renovating a room for you. If you want to stay with me over holiday breaks, that is.”

“I’d love that,” Harry whispered, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. 

Sirius smiled at him warmly. “Come on, let’s go see your new room.”

Notes:

Any thoughts so far?

Chapter 3: The Plan

Notes:

I'm finally back home from the holidays. Hopefully, I'll be able to write more. The entire story is outlined and I have the climax written out but I'm trying to build a bridge to connect the two.

“I’m telling you, ‘Mione, something doesn’t add up. Neither of them actually remembers Sirius inviting Snape to the Shrieking Shack,” Harry said for what felt like the tenth time, his voice tinged with frustration.

“Maybe they both just forgot,” Ron suggested, though his tone lacked conviction.

Harry shook his head. “How do you just ‘forget’ a near-death experience?”

“Trauma?” Ron offered weakly.

Harry mulled it over but quickly dismissed the idea. “Even so, why would Snape kick me out, then?”

“Because you invaded his privacy, Harry!” Hermione snapped, her patience clearly wearing thin. “It’s like if I came to you for help and then read your diary. What you did is worse! And instead of apologizing, you’re still trying to paint him as the villain.”

Harry winced, knowing she had a point. Every time he’d doubted Snape’s loyalty, the man had inadvertently proved himself. Still, something about this particular story didn’t sit right.

“I can’t help it, Hermione. The story still feels... wrong,” Harry said stubbornly.

Ron and Hermione groaned in unison, their exasperation evident. This argument had been looping for over an hour.

“Do you think...” Harry began hesitantly, then stopped, unsure whether to voice the absurd idea forming in his mind.

“What?” Ron prompted, leaning forward.

Harry hesitated, then blurted out, “Do you think there’s something like divination... but for the past? What if we could see what really happened?”

Ron stared at him, eyebrows raised. “You do know divination isn’t just about predicting the future, right? It’s supposed to reveal the unknown—that includes the past,” Hermione interjected, her tone surprisingly calm.

Harry’s eyes widened. “You’re joking.”

“Absolutely not. Though, frankly, I’d sooner trust a fortune cookie than divination,” she added with a slight smirk.

“Let’s try it!” Harry said, the excitement bubbling in his voice.

“We can’t,” Hermione replied, shooting him down. “For the ritual to work, everyone involved has to be present.”

Harry’s enthusiasm deflated. Hermione, noticing his crestfallen look, sighed and added, “But... I guess I can check the textbook again. Maybe I missed something.”

“Thank you, Hermione!” Harry said, a grin spreading across his face. “In the meantime, I’ll talk to Professor Trelawney. She might know something.”

Getting answers turned out to be easier than Harry expected. The following week, he visited Professor Trelawney during her office hours. She greeted him with a dreamy smile, her hands cradling a teacup.

After a few moments of small talk, Harry finally got to the point. “Professor, is it possible to perform the Ritual of Past Mysteries without everyone from the original event being present?”

“Ah, so you wish to unearth the echoes of the past?” Trelawney murmured, her eyes glittering as she leaned forward.

“I just want to know the truth... about something,” Harry said, suddenly unsure of himself.

“The truth is a fickle thing,” she said, her voice taking on a mystical tone. “Most people praise its nobility, yet some will go to great lengths to bury it. That is why revealing the past comes with a cost.”

“So... there is a way to do the spell, then?” Harry asked, trying to focus.

Trelawney nodded slowly. “Just as people carry memories, so do objects. If you cannot gather the people, you must seek out something each person possessed during the event.”

Harry’s mind raced as he processed her words. Before he could thank her, she suddenly exclaimed, “Beware!”

Harry jumped, startled.

“Do not mix the paths. Choose either people or objects. To do otherwise could invite disaster.”

"But- but can the people be present at the ritual?" Harry asked, concerned.

"They may witness the ritual, though only the one performing the ritual shall touch the altar until the ritual has been complete." his professor explained.

“Yes, Professor. Thank you,” Harry said quickly, hastily making his escape. Her piercing gaze lingered uncomfortably in his mind as he left.

“I’ll get something from Padfoot and Moony, but how am I supposed to get anything from Snape and Peter?” Harry asked Ron, pacing the Gryffindor common room.

“Mate... what about your dad?” Ron asked hesitantly.

Harry froze mid-step and then turned toward his friend. “Oh, that’s easy!” he said, his face lighting up. “They had to sneak out of the castle, so they obviously needed the Invisibility Cloak.”

“Brilliant!” Ron exclaimed.

Harry grinned. “I know! But what about the others?”

“Let’s ask Professor Lupin,” Ron suggested. “He might have some ideas.”

“Good plan,” Harry said, his grin widening as he bolted out of the common room, determination fueling his steps.

Notes:

Let me know what you think!

Chapter 4: Some Truths Are Dangerous

Harry made his way through the dimly lit corridors of Hogwarts, the air thick with anticipation. He stopped outside Remus Lupin’s office, the faint glow of candlelight flickering beneath the door. Harry took a deep breath and knocked. A soft voice called, “Come in,” and Harry entered to find Remus seated at his desk, surrounded by piles of parchment and an open book.

“Harry,” Remus greeted, setting his quill aside. “What brings you here so late?”

Harry’s eyes darted across the room before taking a seat across from Remus. “Moony, I need your help to do the Ritual of Past Mysteries.”

Remus nodded. “I see. And what event are you trying to revisit?” 

“The night Snape found out that you were a werewolf.” Harry replied.

At the mention of the incident, Remus’s expression darkened. He leaned back in his chair, his usually kind eyes shadowed with something unreadable. “Harry, that’s not a subject I take lightly.”

“I know,” Harry said quickly. “And I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. But I need to know what really happened that night.”

“If you really want to know, I can tell you what I know and Sirius can tell you the rest. But actually revisiting such a painful moment…” Remus trailed off. 

“I talked to Sirius,” Harry explained. “But it didn’t sit right! I also talked to Snape.”

“What do you mean, Harry?” asked Remus, gently.

“I mean no one remembers Sirius inviting him. No one remembers the attack. It’s like those memories are erased. All they remember is my dad yelling at them. Do you really think Sirius would do such a thing?” Harry asked.

Remus considered the question. “I’m not sure, Harry. I remember being so angry asking him why he would do such a thing. He just kept on saying that he didn’t know and that he was sorry.”

“Maybe he actually didn’t know. Maybe he didn’t do anything! I don’t like the idea of Sirius being accused if he’s innocent,” Harry said.

Remus’s expression tightened, but he didn’t interrupt. Harry continued, “What if Snape manipulated his own memories? Or what if there’s something everyone’s missing? I just… I need to know the truth. Sirius deserves that.”

The silence stretched between them as Remus seemed to weigh Harry’s words. Finally, he exhaled deeply and said, “This is dangerous territory, Harry. Some truths are painful to uncover, and they don’t always bring the closure you’re looking for.”

“I’m willing to take that risk. For Sirius,” Harry said firmly. “Please, Remus.”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly torn. After a long pause, he nodded slowly. “All right. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you,” Harry said, relief washing over him. “The Ritual of Past Mysteries requires artifacts from those involved in the event,” Harry explained. “I have dad’s cloak. I just need something from you.”

Remus nodded. “I’m assuming you plan on doing this at Grimmauld Place?” Harry nodded in affirmation. ”The map was technically mine. I had it that night as well. I’ll bring it to Grimmauld Place. Sirius likely still has his signet ring, which should work as well. But getting something from Severus…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “That will be up to you.”

“I’ll figure something out for him.” Harry shrugged. “But what about Peter?”

Remus’s expression shifted to something colder. “Peter wasn’t there that night. He was otherwise… occupied. Let’s leave it at that.”

Harry felt a wave of relief. One less asshole to track down. “Thank you, Professor. Really.”

Remus stood and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Be careful with this, Harry.”

“I will,” Harry promised. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Now, do you have to rush back or would you like some tea?” Remus asked. 

Harry smiled. “I’d love some tea.”

Chapter 5: The Cost of Truth

“He must’ve had his wand that night,” Hermione said, tracing patterns on the table with her finger, her brows furrowed in thought. “It would’ve been with him during the prank.”

“Sure,” Ron said, rolling his eyes. “And Snape’s just going to hand it over because we asked nicely.”

“We wouldn’t ask,” Harry interjected quietly, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.

Hermione looked up sharply. “What do you mean?”

Harry leaned forward, his voice dropping to a whisper. “During Occlumency lessons, he always leaves his wand on the desk. If I can get him out of the office, I could grab it.”

Hermione gawked at him. “That’s—Harry, that’s theft! And Snape? Of all people? Do you realize how reckless that is?”

“It’s the only way,” Harry argued, his voice rising slightly. “He’s not going to help us, Hermione. If I don’t do this, we’ll never know what really happened that night.”

Ron smirked, clearly on board already. “And how do we get him out of the office?”

Harry grinned. “That’s where you come in.”

Ron puffed out his chest dramatically. “What’s my role this time? Setting something on fire? Exploding cauldrons?”

“Not quite.” Harry’s grin widened. “You’ll pick a fight with Malfoy. Loud enough to get Snape’s attention.”

Ron snorted. “Easy. I’ve been waiting for a reason to knock that git down a peg.”

Harry then turned to Hermione, giving her his most charming smile.

“What do you need me to do?” she asked, exasperated.

“Just let Remus know to meet me at Grimmauld Place ASAP. Pleeeeease!” Harry stretched out the last word.

“Fine,” the witch reluctantly agreed.

Snape wasted no time launching into the lesson, firing a barrage of Legilimency attacks that Harry struggled to repel. His head ached as memories of Dudley’s taunts, the constant bullying at school and his guardians' abuse ran through his mind. Harry didn’t care about dodging the attacks, he just had to make sure Severus didn’t catch a glimpse of his plan.

“I see you have not been practicing the meditation exercises.” Severus drawled. 

“Yeah,” Harry said, distractedly, “I had homework.” 

“What homework? Because it certainly was not the potions essay you have yet to turn in.” the older man retorted. Before Harry could reply, a shout was heard outside the office. The two men turned to face the door. “Practice your meditation while I sort this out, Potter!” Severus instructed as he left the room. “ENOUGH!” Snape bellowed, stepping into the hallway.

Harry’s heart pounded as he saw Snape’s wand lying unattended on the desk. Without hesitation, he darted forward, grabbed the wand, and shoved it into his pocket. Pulling the invisibility cloak from his bag, he threw it over himself and slipped out of the office.

He hurried through the twisting corridors, his breath coming in short gasps, until he reached the entrance hall. The castle doors creaked as he pushed them open, stepping out into the cold evening air.

By the time Harry reached Grimmauld Place, his nerves were frayed, but the sight of Sirius lounging in the drawing room brought a wave of relief.

“Harry!” Sirius called, sitting up straighter. “What brings you here?”

Harry caught his breath. “I need your help. Remus and I are planning to do a ritual—something that can show us what really happened the night of the prank.”

Sirius’s smile faltered, and he frowned. “What kind of ritual?”

“It’s called the Ritual of Past Mysteries,” Harry explained. “Remus said he’d meet us here soon, and he suggested we use your signet ring as your artifact.”

Sirius leaned back, rubbing his chin. “Why are you still stuck on this, Prongslet? Let bygones be bygones.”

“I just need to know the truth, Sirius. I can’t stand the idea of everyone blaming you if it wasn’t your fault.” Harry pleaded.

Before Sirius could reply, the front door creaked open, and Remus Lupin stepped inside. He looked weary but alert, his eyes darting between Harry and Sirius.

“Harry,” Remus greeted, his tone cautious. “Do I want to know how you obtained Severus’ artifact? The note Miss. Granger left was very cryptic.”

Harry shook his head as he avoided meeting Remus’s eyes.

Sirius sighed, knowing the less he knew the better. “Harry, once we do this, you need to drop the subject.” Sirius said sternly. Harry nodded in response, smiling brightly at the two men. “Remus, can you help me find the ring? Harry can set up what he needs to for the ritual.” Remus placed the map on the table and followed Sirius out of the room. 

As Sirius and Remus disappeared upstairs, Harry began to arrange the objects for the ritual. Just as he was about to light the candles, the floo roared to life and Severus stepped out of the fireplace.

“Where is it, Potter?” Snape hissed, his voice low and venomous. “Where is my wand?” 

Harry’s heart leapt into his throat as he instinctively raised his own wand. “Immobulus!”

Chapter 6: No Turning Back

Sirius and Remus ran down the stairs, ring in hand, at the commotion they had heard. Their jaws dropped at the site of a frozen Severus and Harry, with his wand aimed at the man. He stood, not changing his position, the only indication that he hadn’t been hexed was the slight tremble in his fingers as he tightly clutched his wand.

“Harry?” Remus asked, his voice careful but firm.

The boy spun around, his eyes wide with a mixture of shock and guilt. “I-I stole his wand, and then he found me somehow... and I immobilized him,” Harry stammered, the words tumbling out in a frantic rush.

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room as the three men tried to process the scene. Harry broke it, his anxiety spilling over. “Let’s just do the ritual, quickly! I just need to light the candles, and once we’re done, I’ll free him. Hurry! Sirius, did you find the ring?”

The mention of his name seemed to snap Sirius back. His face darkened, and his voice carried an edge Harry had never heard before. “Free him. Now.”

Harry flinched at the command, his fingers twitching against his wand. “But—”

“Now!” Sirius barked, stepping closer.

Remus raised a hand, trying to mediate, though his tone left no room for argument. “Harry, this isn’t negotiable. Release him, and then we’ll decide what happens next.”

Reluctantly, Harry muttered the counter-curse. Severus stumbled forward but quickly straightened himself, his dark eyes blazing with fury.

“Potter!” he barked, venom dripping from every syllable. “You arrogant, insolent boy! How dare you steal my wand and then have the audacity to hex me? I should—”

“Enough,” Sirius interrupted, stepping between Severus and Harry. His protective stance made his intent clear. “He’s just a child, Snape.”

“A child?” Severus hissed, his voice low and dangerous. “Your precious godson has crossed a line, Black. And you’re enabling him.”

Harry, who had been shrinking back, suddenly found his voice. “I just wanted—”

“You just what?” Severus snapped, cutting him off. “Thought you were entitled to take whatever you wanted for your self-righteous crusade? You’re just like your father.”

Sirius bristled. “Don’t you dare bring James into this!”

The room was thick with tension, Sirius and Severus glaring at each other as if they might duel any second.

Remus cleared his throat, his calm voice cutting through the silence. “Look, we all know Harry messed up. He shouldn’t have stolen your wand and he definitely shouldn’t have hexed you. But he’s promised to let this rest once we complete the ritual.”

“And what ritual is this?” Severus shot back, his tone icy.

“It’s the Ritual of Past Mysteries.” Harry finally spoke up. “I want to know the truth about the day you found out about Remus.”

Severus’s expression darkened further, “What truth?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. 

“No one remembers the attack. No one remembers Sirius inviting you. There has to be more to the story.” exclaimed Harry.

“You believe I’ve fabricated the whole incident.” Severus verified.

“No-” Remus began but Harry cut him off with a resounding “Yes, I do. If you haven’t done anything wrong, you shouldn’t have a problem with this ritual.” Harry’s fear tamed as he met his professor’s gaze head on, challenging him.

“I am not obligated to prove anything to anyone in this room.” Severus held his hand out, silently demanding his wand back.

“We’ve tried to talk him out of this many times. Let’s just show him there is nothing more than what meets the eye.” Sirius requested.

For a moment, it seemed as though Severus might explode again, but he took a slow, measured breath and said, “Fine. But let me make one thing clear. If Potter tries anything like that again, there will be consequences.”

“Understood,” Remus said firmly, shooting Harry a warning look. “Harry, do you have everything ready for the ritual?”

Harry nodded nervously, his eyes flicking toward Severus before focusing on the objects he had laid out. “Yes, I just need to light the candles.”

“Good,” Remus said. “Sirius, you have the ring?”

Sirius nodded, holding up the ancient Black family heirloom. “Let’s get this over with.”

Notes:

We're one chapter away from the reveal. What do you think we'll find?

Chapter 7: Memories Unleashed

Notes:

This chapter was so intense to write but so enjoyable as well.

The four of them—tense, uneasy— sat around the altar Harry had prepared. The flickering light of the candles cast long, wavering shadows on the walls as Harry stepped forward to read the incantation. The flames from the candles grew taller and began to converge, creating a dome over the objects. Harry chanted the date of the prank and the dome of light exploded, leaving behind silhouettes. 

The figures began to take shape, their edges sharpening as the scene became clear. Everyone in the room froze as they saw the unmistakable forms of a young Severus and Sirius sitting against the stony walls of Hogwarts, holding hands and smiling shyly at each other.

The present-day Severus stiffened, his eyes widening. Sirius let out a soft gasp, his expression unreadable.

The ghostly figures continued, the sound of their laughter faint but growing louder. Young Sirius leaned over and pressed a kiss to Severus’s cheek, causing the Slytherin to blush furiously.

Harry and Remus exchanged stunned looks, neither of them able to speak.

“I’ll meet you at the Astronomy Tower tonight,” Severus’s ghostly voice said, soft and tentative.

“I can’t tonight,” young Sirius replied. “I have a thing with the Marauders.”

Severus’s figure faltered, his tone uncertain. “A thing? You’re not— You’re not going to prank me again, are you?”

Sirius grabbed Severus’s hands, his voice full of reassurance. “No! Of course not. It’s nothing like that, I promise. It’s just… not my secret to tell.”

“Alright,” Severus said, though he didn’t sound as comfortable as Sirius would have liked.

“I’ll meet you after breakfast and then we can spend the whole day together.” Sirius promised. 

The scene faded, leaving the room in stunned silence before the next memory began to take shape.

Young Severus appeared in a dimly lit corridor, his arms full of books and parchment. He turned a corner and collided with James Potter. Harry’s breath hitched as he instinctively leaned closer to Sirius, seeking comfort.

"Snivellus, I heard you wanted to know what Sirius is going to be up to tonight. " James asked, sneering.

"I can ask my boyfriend about his whereabouts, Potter. I don't need to interrogate his friends." the Slytherin replied.

"Alright, if you change your mind, come by the Whomping Willow tonight at 9:00." James challenged.

"The Whomping Willow?" Severus yelled. "That's incredibly dangerous. What business do you have there?"

"If you really are that concerned, you know where to find us." the Gryffindor said walking away. Along with James, the scene vanished as well.

 

A young Severus arrived at the Whomping Willow, hesitant and scared. "Hello?" he called out tentatively. "Sirius, are you there?" Severus noticed footprints leading into the tree trunk and decided to follow the trail. Somehow, the tree let him in without putting up a fight. He followed the footsteps until he reached the Shrieking Shack. Severus' eyes scanned the unstable structure as he gulped down his fear. "Sirius?" he called again, only to hear a growl from the inside. "Sirius!" he screamed, opening the door to the Shack, only to come face to face with a werewolf.

Back on the sofa, the older Remus tightly shut his eyes however, Severus couldn't look away from the scene. A silent tear rolled down his cheek as he saw his younger self being attacked by the werewolf, his robes being torn apart and face being scratched up.

Before the werewolf could strike again, a massive black dog leapt into view, tackling it to the ground. Severus watched in stunned horror as the dog barked and snarled, forcing the werewolf back. The dog then transformed into young Sirius, who scrambled to Severus’s side.

“We have to go,” Sirius said urgently, pulling Severus to his feet. “Now.”

The two of them staggered into the forest, the scene shifting again.

 

The final memory brought them to a quiet spot in the woods. Sirius gently lowered Severus to the ground, his hands shaking as he inspected the Slytherin’s torn robes and bleeding face.

"Are you hurt? What are you doing with that werewolf? Are you an animagus? Why didn't you tell me? Please, Sirius, say something. Your silence is scaring me." the Slytherin begged. 

"What the hell were you thinking, following me?" were the first words out of Sirius mouth.

Tears filled Severus' eyes as the adrenaline and shock started to wear off. He began trembling violently and Sirius leaned in closer, providing the comfort his boyfriend so desperately needed. "I was worried about you. Potter said you'd be by the Whomping Willow. I didn't want you getting hurt."

Sirius kissed away the tears, holding Severus in his arms. He began murmuring calm assurities into the Slytherin's ear. "I'm okay, love. And so are you. We just need to get to Madam Pomfrey. We'll be alright."

Wrapped up in their own little world, the couple didn't notice the dark figure approach behind them. He held up his wand and chanted "Obliviate." 

The spell struck them, and the tender expressions they wore shattered like glass. Their faces went slack; the light in their eyes extinguished, leaving behind cold, empty stares that seemed to pierce through time. 

James stepped out from behind the shadows and angrily marched toward his best friend. "What the hell were you thinking, Sirius?" 

Notes:

The truth is now revealed.

Chapter 8: The Reckoning

Notes:

The angst starts here. It will get better because I don't write sad endings but I did almost cry while writing these next two chapters.

I'll have the next chapter uploaded later today. Just need to finish some edits.

The scene vanished again. Instead of a new one taking its place, the candle lights flickered before vanishing altogether, leaving the fireplace as the only light source in the room. The silence that followed was deafening, horror etched on every face. Sirius slumped back in his chair, his breath coming in shallow gasps. He couldn’t look at Severus, couldn’t face the man he had tormented, saved, and betrayed in equal measure. As expected, Severus was the first to recover. He cleared his throat, his voice steady but cold.

“Well, Sirius,” he began. The other man’s head snapped up, his eyes brimming with tears as he tried to process his best friend’s – his brother’s – betrayal. Severus felt a pang in his chest, an old ache stirring to life. For a moment, he wanted to reach out, to untangle the mess they had just witnessed. But he felt something holding him back.

“It seems I owe you an apology for that night. I misjudged you and accused you of pulling that stunt. For saving my life, I must thank you. But I must return to Hogwarts now.” Severus’ voice was hollow, the words that he couldn’t form hanging between them. He stood, his robes sweeping the floor as he turned.

“Wait!” Harry’s voice cracked with desperation. “Are you going to punish me for what he did?”

The corners of Severus’s mouth twitched, but the expression was unreadable. He turned slowly, his gaze fixed on Harry. “I do not hold your father’s wrongdoings against you, Potter,” he said, his tone sharp. “But let us not pretend you haven’t been walking the same path.”

Harry reeled as though struck. “I’m nothing like him!” he shot back, his voice trembling with both fury and the faintest edge of doubt.

Severus raised a skeptical brow, seemingly cold and undetached. “Really? Did you not make a snap judgment about me because I am the head of Slytherin? Have you and your friends not fought me at every turn, driven by your preconceived notions? Have you not tried to humiliate me time and again?”

Harry’s fists clenched at his sides. “Name one time!” he shot back.

“Very well,” Severus said, his voice dangerously soft. He held one finger up, counting the first offence. Harry knew he was about to be in trouble. “Let us start with your first year, when Miss Granger lit my robes on fire during the Quidditch match because you assumed I was hexing you.” Severus raised his second finger, tapping it with his other hand. “Or last year, when you attacked me in the Shrieking Shack, despite the fact that I was there to protect you against whom I believed was there to murder you.”

Harry opened his mouth to retort, but Severus raised a hand, cutting him off.

“Perhaps we should discuss the Marauder’s Map,” Severus continued, adding his third finger, his gaze flicking to Remus, who shifted uncomfortably. “A dangerous object no student—or adult—should possess. Yet, you chose to use it to explore the castle grounds past curfew. When I confiscated it, when I was simply doing my job, you gave me nothing but insolence. What should a professor have done, Harry? Turn a blind eye to a student making unsafe choices or perhaps invite them to my office and offer them sweets!” Severus bit out the last sentence but quickly composed himself. 

Remus ducked his head at the biting remark. Harry flinched but said nothing.

“Shall we talk about today then? Today, when you stole my wand. And when I came to retrieve it, you immobilized me.” Severus added his pinky and thumb, bumping the tally up to five. “I was forced to relive a near-death experience because, once again, you wanted to prove that I must be a villain, that I must somehow deserve it. Do not forget, Potter, that I, too, have seen the horrors of your past. But never—” his voice cracked slightly, though he recovered immediately, “—never have I placed the blame for them on you.”

The weight of his words hung heavily in the room. Harry’s face burned with shame as he stared at the floor, speechless.

Severus adjusted his robes with deliberate precision, his composure fully regained. “I trust you understand now,” he said, his tone clipped. Without waiting for a reply, he picked up his wand and strode toward the door.

The sound of the door shutting echoed like a final judgment. The room remained still—Harry, red-faced and trembling; Remus, staring at the floor with guilt carved into his features; and Sirius, speechless, breathless, horrified.

Chapter 9: More Than Just James’ Son

Notes:

Sorry for the delay! I got distracted with school work lol.

Following Severus’ departure, Sirius stood as well. His expression was tight, unreadable, but Harry noticed his hands trembling at his sides. “Sirius, I—” Harry began, his voice cracking, but Sirius cut him off.

“It’s alright, Harry,” he said, though his voice was strained and distant. He didn’t meet anyone’s gaze, his eyes fixed on the doorway as if it might offer him escape. Without another word, Sirius turned sharply and headed toward his childhood bedroom, his footsteps echoing hollowly against the walls.

The moment the door shut behind Sirius, Harry’s legs gave out, and he crumpled onto the sofa. His eyes burned with unshed tears, and his chest felt impossibly tight. “Remus,” he whimpered, the name slipping out like a plea.

Remus was at his side in an instant, pulling him into a strong, steady embrace. Harry didn’t even try to hold it together. The sobs wracked his body as he buried his face in Remus’ shoulder, clinging to the man like a lifeline.

At the sound of Harry’s cries, Sirius returned almost immediately, his face pale but determined. He conjured a glass of water, kneeling beside Harry as Remus gently passed the boy into Sirius’ arms. Harry clutched tightly onto Sirius’ sleeves, his grip desperate as if afraid the man might leave again. Sirius held him close, his fingers threading gently through Harry’s hair in a soothing motion.

Thoughts swirled around in his head. Harry couldn’t shake the gnawing fear that gripped his chest, a cold, hollow ache that whispered over and over that Sirius and Remus might look at him differently now. He couldn’t help but wonder if they saw James’ face when they looked at him. If this tether with James was severed, would they care for him? What if they decided he wasn’t worth the trouble anymore? The idea of losing them—the only family he had left—made his stomach twist painfully, and for the first time, he felt utterly untethered, like the foundations of his world were crumbling beneath his feet.

The two older men exchanged uncertain glances over Harry’s trembling form. Neither knew quite what to do, but they both knew they couldn’t abandon him now.

When Harry’s sobs finally began to subside, he pulled back slightly, his face flushed and streaked with tears. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s alright, Harry,” Sirius said gently, echoing the words he’d spoken earlier, though this time they carried the warmth of genuine reassurance.

Remus handed Harry the glass of water, which he accepted with trembling hands, gulping it down in a few hurried swallows. “Are you okay?” Remus asked softly.

“I’m sorry,” Harry repeated, his voice cracking under the weight of the emotions he couldn’t fully express. 

Sirius furrowed his brow, tilting his head to look Harry in the eye. “Why are you apologizing, Prongslet?” he asked, using the nickname with a soft tone.

At the mention of the nickname, Harry’s tears returned, streaming silently down his cheeks. He shut his eyes tightly, his throat thick with guilt. “Because what Dad did to you, to Snape—it’s unforgivable. I feel like… like I don’t even know. I’m sorry.” His voice was shaking, his words tumbling out in a rush.

Sirius’ heart clenched painfully at the boy’s raw anguish. “Harry,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “Open your eyes.”

Harry hesitated, afraid of what he might see—anger, disappointment, rejection. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open and was surprised to find not fury but deep sadness and concern etched into Sirius and Remus’ faces.

“You do not apologize for something someone did before you were born,” Sirius said, his tone firm but kind. “It doesn’t matter if he was your father; those were his choices, not yours. You are not responsible for them.”

Harry let out a shaky breath, the knot in his chest loosening slightly. Tears of relief slipped down his cheeks as he whispered, “Really? You don’t hate me? Do you… do you hate Dad?”

Sirius sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Harry, listen to me,” he began, his voice laden with weariness. “There’s a lot I don’t know right now. I don’t know how to process what we just saw. I don’t know how to feel about James. But what I do know is that I love you. I care for you deeply. Nothing changes that. You are still my godson, and you still have a place in this home.”

Harry’s lip trembled, and he turned to Remus. “Remus?” he asked tentatively, his voice still small and uncertain.

Remus gave him a reassuring smile. “Harry,” he said gently, “I’d like to think that in these past few years, you and I have developed a relationship beyond just you being James’ son. What James did or didn’t do has no bearing on how I feel about you. You’re family, and that doesn’t change.”

Harry’s face crumpled again, but this time it was relief that spilled over as he pulled both men into a tight embrace. They held him close, the three of them taking solace in the unspoken bond they shared.

After a long moment, Remus pulled back slightly, his expression growing more serious. “That said, Harry,” he began, his tone calm but firm, “I do think you owe Severus an apology.”

Harry’s relief faltered, replaced by a flicker of guilt. He nodded slowly, unable to argue.

“We can talk about that later,” Sirius interjected, his hand still resting on Harry’s shoulder. “For now, Remus and I need to have a conversation.”

Harry gave them a small, grateful smile, hugging Sirius one last time before disappearing into his room.

As soon as Harry was out of earshot, Sirius sagged back into the sofa, dragging a hand over his face. “Pads,” Remus began hesitantly, his voice heavy with guilt, “I’m so sorry—”

“It has to be fake right?” Sirius interrupted, his voice rising as his hand fell away to reveal wide, frantic eyes. “It can’t possibly be true, Moony.”

“What?” Remus asked, taken aback. 

“It can’t be real. It’s obviously not. I mean, do you remember me and Snape dating? That’s fucking insane.” Sirius argued, hand thrown up in wild gestures. 

“Pads, maybe James took away my memories too. But it was real. I thought you’d be relieved. It wasn’t your fault!” Remus replied. Sirius stood up and began pacing around the room, a habit he had developed as a child. 

“See no, Moony. That doesn’t matter because Snape was attacked either way. If I had done it, it was me being an asshole to the guy I thought I hated. If James did it, he sabotaged my relationship, tried to kill my boyfriend, destroyed our memories of each other, nearly ruined our friendship, Remus, and fucking blamed me.” His gestures became wilder, his voice nearly a shout.

“Sirius,” Remus stepped in front of his friend, stopping Sirius’ pacing. Remus placed his hands on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius looked up to meet his gaze. “Sirius,” he said again. “James did it. I’m sorry I blamed you, that I pulled away from you that year. I’m so sorry, because it wasn’t your fault.”

Sirius’ shoulders sagged as the weight of years of misplaced guilt gave way to the crushing betrayal of James’ actions. He sank onto the sofa, his head in his hands. “James did it,” he whispered, the words trembling with disbelief and pain. “How? Why?”

Remus sat beside him, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know why, Pads. I don’t know how.”

Chapter 10: Not a Hero

Notes:

Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! It's really encouraged and challenged me to elevate the story and dive deeper into the characters rather than just finish off the plot. When I started working on this, I hadn't expected the story to gather this much interest but I'm so glad people have found it engaging.

Please let me know what you think of this chapter.

Severus was supposed to be working on the wolfsbane, but every time he picked up the leaves, his mind was bombarded with the images of Remus, in wolf form, attacking him. Harry had been right, there was more to that night than what anyone knew. Severus couldn't fathom how he never picked up on it. He was a master spy, tricking one of the most intelligent wizards of his time, yet he wasn't able to recognize that his memories had been tampered with by an insufferable simpleton. Finally, he closed the box that contained the wolfsbane leaves and swiftly got up from his chair. 

Severus headed towards the door, while shutting off all the lights with the flick of a wrist. He walked with purpose, though he had no destination. His pace grew faster with every step and soon enough he found himself holding on tightly to the railing of the astronomy Tower. He took a deep breath, letting the cool night air hit his face. The night was quiet, save for the faint rustle of leaves below.

His mind scrambled for a way to ground himself, thinking back to techniques he hadn't used since he first started learning occlumency. Severus closed his eyes, feeling the cold, bumpy metal railing underneath his tightly wrapped fingers. He moved his thumb back and forth, taking in the slight texture from the railing. Once he felt his head clear, he gently opened his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"I had a feeling you'd come here." said a familiar voice behind him, startling Severus from the peaceful moment he was trying to create. He spun around, his black robes billowing around him. Sirius stood. leaning against the staircase, arms loosely crossed over his chest and an eyebrow raised in expectation. 

"Black, if you’ve come to lecture me about Potter, I assure you, I’ve no need for etiquette lessons from the likes of you." Severus said.

"I'm not upset about that. You were right. He has disrespected you many times and Remus and I have let him get away with it. We aren't able to put our foot down with him the way you are. Thank you for taking care of him." Sirius said, the sincerity throwing Severus off guard. 

"I care deeply about all of my students. Potter has never and will never face consequences for his actions in the Wizarding World, simply because he's the Chosen One. But he's still a child, a child who should not be leading meetings in a war room." Severus replied. 

"Harry's a smart kid. If you explain this to him with kind words, he'll learn better." Sirius smiled his charming smile, meeting Severus' gaze head on. For perhaps the first time in his twisted memory, Severus understood why Sirius had the reputation of charming anyone's pants off. Severus averted his eyes immediately.

"Now if we're done here, I must get back to work." Severus said, walking towards the stairs. 

Sirius shook his head, stepping forward. "I'm not here about Harry. I…" He hesitated, then forged ahead. "I can’t stop thinking about everything we learned today. About us. About our relationship."

“I care very little for whatever epiphany you think we’ve had. The past was ugly, and now we know it’s uglier still.” Severus replied, callously. 

“How do you not care? What happened – it shattered everything we thought we knew.” Sirius asked.

“No, it didn’t, Black. That day, I was still sent off to my death. I was still attacked by a werewolf and the deed went unpunished. The only difference now is the name of the person who served me on a golden platter. James Potter…” Severus began. 

"Don’t," Sirius warned, his tone low.

"Don’t what?" Severus sneered, folding his arms. "Speak the truth? Your precious Potter wasn’t the paragon you’ve built him up to be, Black. He was selfish, arrogant, and cruel. And now we learn he was also a liar and a thief. He stole our memories, our choices, and for what? To preserve his own delusions of superiority?"

"That’s enough," Sirius growled, taking a step closer.

Severus ignored the warning, his voice rising with his anger. "You idolized him, but he was a coward. Someone who manipulated everyone around him, including his so-called best friends. You and Lupin, both."

"SHUT UP!" Sirius barked, his voice echoing across the tower. His fists clenched at his sides, and for a moment, his whole body trembled with suppressed rage. "You don’t get to talk about James like that. You don’t know what he meant to me—what he still means to me."

Severus raised an eyebrow, his tone icy. "Oh, I know exactly what he meant to you. He was your everything, wasn’t he? Your leader. Your moral compass. The one you followed blindly, even when he led you down the wrong path. So blindly that he destroyed your relationship."

Sirius’ jaw tightened, his gray eyes blazing. "You don’t understand anything! Yes, James made mistakes. Yes, what he did to us was unforgivable. But he was also my best friend. He was the closest thing I had to a brother. And I loved him."

Severus’ expression hardened. "And that is your downfall, Black. You still can’t let go of him, even after everything he’s done. I can’t help you with glorifying him or justifying his actions because I always saw him as the person you witnessed him to be today. If you want to stick to your delusions, you’ve come to the wrong place."

The two men stood facing each other, the tension between them thick and suffocating. Finally, Sirius let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "This was a mistake. I came here thinking—hoping—we could at least talk. That maybe we could figure this out together. But you’re right about one thing, Snape. There’s no future for us. Maybe James saved us by ending whatever we had that day.” 

“And for the record," Sirius added, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife, "James may have fucked up, but at least he wasn’t a cold, vindictive bastard who pushes away anyone who gets too close."

With a sharp crack, Sirius disapparated, leaving Severus alone under the cold light of the stars. For a long moment, Severus stood motionless, staring at the spot where Sirius had been. Then, with a deep breath, he turned back to the railing and let the cool night air wash over him, swallowing the ache that Sirius’ words had left behind.

Chapter 11: Unanswered Questions

After returning, Harry refused to tell Hermione and Ron what had happened. He muttered a quiet “good night” and headed upstairs, leaving his concerned friends behind.

The next morning, long before the rest of the castle woke, Harry slipped out of bed. He needed space. Hiding beneath his Invisibility Cloak, he made his way to the library, needing to get away before anyone woke up.

In the Hogwarts archives, he found the yearbooks from his parents’ time at school. He grabbed the ones from their fifth and sixth years and tucked himself away at a secluded table behind the bookshelves. As he flipped through the pages, he saw his parents in a new, almost unrecognizable light.

Hours later, Draco Malfoy found him there, hunched over a moving photograph, his head in his hands. The moving picture showed Lily hugging James after a Gryffindor victory against Slytherin. James had the brightest smile Harry had ever seen, and Lily’s curls bounced as she excitedly jumped up and down, her joy evident.

She looks happy. That was the thought that unsettled Harry most.

Draco’s voice snapped him out of his daze. "Next time you want to distract my godfather, please don't use me as bait."

Harry nearly jumped out of his chair, startled. He hadn’t even heard Malfoy approach.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Draco crossed his arms, smirking slightly. “Yesterday. Weasley picks a fight with me out of nowhere, Snape leaves his office to break it up, and when he goes back to his office, he runs out immediately? Please. I don’t know what you did, but you did something.”

Harry hesitated, gripping the edges of the yearbook a little tighter. “So what makes you think I did something?” he asked, trying to deflect.

Draco scoffed. “Because he yelled your name when he left his office and no one’s seen him since last night. And when I went to have tea with him this morning, he’d left a note saying he was in France, visiting a friend . ” He leaned forward slightly. “And let’s be honest, Potter—Snape doesn’t take spontaneous trips. He doesn’t just leave Hogwarts, especially not this close to the holidays. In fact, I didn’t even know he had friends.”

Harry’s heart clenched, but he kept his expression neutral. “He had one friend once,” he muttered. His eyes flickered down to the picture of his mother, a bitter taste in his mouth.

Draco gave him a searching look before pulling out a chair and sitting down, unceremoniously slouching into it. “Alright, Potter, what’s going on? You look like someone’s just shattered your entire world.”

Harry exhaled heavily, running a hand through his already-messy hair. If anyone could understand what he was feeling right now, it was Draco. They had both idolized their fathers. Both had followed in their footsteps, only to be forced to realize how deeply flawed they truly were.

“I found out something about my dad last night,” Harry admitted. “I don’t even think I can say it out loud yet, but… he’s not the hero I thought he was.” He hesitated, then looked at Draco. “How did you come to terms with it? How did you accept that your father hurt so many people? And how did you make amends with Hermione?”

Draco sighed, leaning back. “Snape helped me a lot,” he admitted. “That’s actually where our tea thing started. He made me realize that I don’t have to carry guilt for what my father did. But I do have to take responsibility for what I did—because I blindly believed him.” Draco’s fingers tapped against the wooden table. “I saw Granger. I saw how much better she was than me, despite everything. And I had to swallow my pride, work up the courage to apologize, and mean it. She forgave me, eventually—but only on the condition that I actually work on being better . ” He exhaled. “And that’s what I’m doing.”

Harry stared at him, absorbing every word. “But don’t you still feel bad?”

Draco was quiet for a moment. “Yeah,” he admitted. “All the time. Especially when I have to confront my own privilege.”

Harry swallowed hard. “How do you get over it?”

Draco shook his head. “You don’t. You just stop making it about yourself.” His voice was steady. “Guilt is about you . But making amends? That’s about them . ”

Harry stared at him, something heavy settling in his chest.

Draco let him sit with that for a moment before arching an eyebrow. “So? Are you going to tell me what actually happened?”

Harry sighed. He figured if Draco had been vulnerable enough to tell the truth, he owed him the same. “I found out my dad planned an attack on Snape and blamed Sirius for it. He also messed with their memories of it. Everyone’s shaken up—Remus and Sirius can’t even process it, and Snape…” He let out a bitter laugh. “He left the country . But not before making sure I knew just how much I treated him like garbage too.”

Draco’s expression darkened slightly. “Was this attack in their fifth year?”

Harry blinked. “Yeah—how do you know that?”

Draco shrugged. “My mother told me about it. She and my father visited Snape in the hospital wing every day. Brought him his homework. He wouldn’t tell them what happened, but she said he was—” He hesitated, then met Harry’s eyes. “—shaken.”

Harry felt his stomach twist. “Did your mum mention anything about mine being there?”

Draco’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Only that she and Snape got into a huge fight on his first day in the hospital wing.”

Harry clenched his jaw. “See, that’s what I don’t get! No one knew the truth about the attack, but my mum still knew dad had bullied Snape. So why would she agree to go out with him a year later?”

Draco sighed. “Maybe she didn’t know the full extent of it. Maybe your dad manipulated her. Maybe she didn’t care. Maybe it’s something else entirely.” He stood up, brushing dust off his robes. “You won’t get every answer, Potter. Some things are just lost to time. You can either believe in the worst of them or the best of them. Or you could recognize that they are humans, not your ‘perfect parents’.”

Harry frowned, staring at the yearbook again, unsatisfied.

Draco nudged his arm. “Come on. We’re already late for breakfast.”

Harry closed the book and followed him out, but the questions still swirled in his mind, refusing to settle.

Chapter 12: Missing (You?)

"You called him a what?" Remus asked, flabbergasted at Sirius' recount of his conversation with Severus. "Sirius, what are you trying to do here?"

"I don't know! I just don't know! I shouldn't have even gone there until I took some time to think about all of this myself. It was a mistake and I don't know why I would say that. I didn't mean it." Sirius exclaimed.

"You're not the only one dealing with this.” Remus’ tone was stern but not unkind. “It affected all of us: me, you, Harry and Snape. It's okay if you want to process this but you can't lash out." Remus explained.

"I get that but he’s the one who doesn't even care! He told me none of this matters. How could whatever it is that we had not matter?" Sirius asked.

“Okay, pause.” Remus held his hand up to stop Sirius before he spiraled again. “What exactly did Snape say?”

“I asked why he was so nonchalant. Those memories changed everything we knew. He said it didn’t change anything. He was still attacked and the attacker went unpunished. As far as he was concerned, the only change was the name of the person behind all this. He said it only changed things for me because I never saw James for who he truly was.” Sirius’ voice cracked on his friend’s name and Remus reached over, comforting his best friend.

Sirius looked at him with obvious frustration and confusion. Remus took a deep breath, knowing just how difficult it was to get something past Sirius’ stubbornness. “Pads, there are so many things going on here that we’re going to need to break it down. All of us were surprised to find out that you and Snape were together, you, me, Harry and even Snape.” 

Sirius nodded, following Remus’ logic so far. “Only you, me and Harry were shocked by what James did…”

“But…” Sirius tried to interject before Remus sent him a glare that immediately shut him up. 

“Please save all questions and arguments for the end.” Remus said, only half joking. “Snape wasn’t surprised by that because he expected James to hurt him. We were surprised because we didn’t expect James to hurt us, to hurt you . That’s point one.”

Sirius opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut, opting to nod instead. “Point number two is that you are focusing on who orchestrated this attack while Snape is focused on the fact that there was an attack. Are you still with me?”

Sirius shook his head from side to side and Remus chuckled. “For you, it matters who planned this whole thing because you were wrongly accused. For Snape, it doesn’t matter who planned it because, either way, he still got hurt.” Sirius’ eyes widened as realization dawned on his face. As much as he had been the victim, Severus almost died at the ripe old age of fifteen . He didn’t care who stood behind the wand, because the name of the person wouldn’t change the fact that they still cast a killing curse. 

“I get it now.” Sirius sighed. “I just… I need to understand what we had. I want to remember what it felt like. But he doesn’t seem to care. Like us kissing and sneaking out to the astronomy tower means nothing!”

“You don’t remember anything?” Remus asked, sympathetic to his friend’s curiosity. 

“No. That spell erased everything.” replied Sirius, dejectedly.

Remus corrected him, “ James erased everything.” 

“Right, James. How are you having such an easy time with this, Moony? I can’t even fathom…” Sirius trailed off, unable to vocalize his feelings about the betrayal.

“I’m not.” Remus replied. “I am so angry, I want to yank him out of the after-life just to yell at him. But one thing helps.” 

“What’s that?” Sirius looked up to meet Remus’ eyes, hoping he would have the missing piece to help him make sense of this. 

“My trust in James is shattered. But my trust in you is restored. We never really got over what happened that day, well, at least I couldn’t. I have one of my closest friends back.” Remus said, becoming sheepish at the admission. 

“Losing your trust was something I always regretted.” Sirius said, pulling his friend into a tight hug. They stood like that for a minute, holding each other up before the floo roared to life. The men took a step back, ready to greet the first of the order members. 

Sirius rushed to greet Arthur and Molly, giving Remus a sly smile as the man was left to converse with Tonks. Soon enough, the room started filling up, though Sirius’ gaze darted towards the fireplace, more than he would ever admit, waiting for someone in particular. 

“Let’s get started,” Dumbledore announced as everyone settled down.

Arthur awkwardly raised his hand hoping to get the headmaster’s attention. “Yes, Arthur?” the headmaster asked kindly.

“I believe we are missing Severus?” It came out more like a question. 

Dumbledore nodded gravely. “Ah, yes. He is away on a personal trip but made sure to provide me with everything we’ll need in his absence.” The headmaster gave Remus a pointed look and continued. “I believe he is currently in France!” Dumbledore completed. 

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances, having a reasonable idea about Severus’ sudden departure as the headmaster continued with the meeting’s agenda.

Throughout the meeting, Sirius couldn’t help but sneak glances at the fireplace, unable to extinguish the hope that Severus would somehow step through.

Remus caught up with Dumbledore after the meeting, who gave him the finished wolfsbane. Sirius followed, hoping to find out where Severus was. Dumbledore gave him a knowing look, as if he had slotted these puzzle pieces long ago and was waiting on his students to catch up.

“Headmaster?” Sirius asked.

“Yes, dear boy!” Dumbledore seemed way too happy considering they spent the past 2 hours making war plans. 

“Snape– Is he…” Sirius struggled to get the words out, unsure of what he wanted to ask in the first place. Finally, Sirius settled on a concerned “Is he okay? Did he say anything before he left?” 

Dumbledore’s smile widened. “He is much safer there than any of us are here. And no, Sirius, he did not tell me why he suddenly decided to take this leave of absence. I also got the sense that he preferred that I not pry.”

“What about Harry’s Occlumency?” Sirius asked, his concerns as a godparent taking over.

Dumbledore’s smile faltered for a miniscule second. Has Sirius not been scrutinizing every context clue, he would have missed it completely. “Severus has reported that the last few lessons have not gone too well, though he was hesitant to give me many details. He has asked to find another instructor. Though that is a challenging request. If you and Harry both feel the same way, I’ll see what I can do.”

Sirius shook his head. “Harry feels really bad about what happened. He’s promised to do better. If Severus is willing to give it one more chance, can you ask him to continue the lessons once he’s back?”

Dumbledore nodded. “I’ll pass on your request, though I doubt it will be difficult to convince him. Severus knows he’s an excellent teacher and he also recognizes the urgency for Harry to develop these skills.” There was a small pause as Sirius gave the headmaster a relieved smile.

“I must say,” Dumbledore continued. “I find it delightful that you are no longer holding onto past grievances and have decided to let go of childhood squabbles.”

Sirius’ face fell at the accidental reminder of the past couple of days. “I’m glad someone is finding it delightful.” Sirius muttered under his breath. 

Dumbledore gave Sirius an odd look before saying, “Well, thank you once again for your hospitality, Sirius but I must take your leave. It’s almost dinner time and I would like to have a conversation with Harry about his Occlumancy lessons.” Sirius nodded and gestured for the headmaster to continue. 

Notes:

The next chapter is going to be Severus' POV (unless I get some last minute idea to change things up). Can you guess what Severus is doing?

Chapter 13: Hidden Friend

Notes:

Sorry for any mistakes! I have carpel tunnel and I pretty much wrote the whole thing using text to speech.

Severus flooed into the cozy cottage. The smell of old, leather-bound books and ancient magic immediately assaulted his nose. He took a moment to steady himself, shaking off the excess floo powder and climbing out of the hearth with his suitcase. Severus looked around the warm but poorly lit space, wondering where its owner had disappeared off to. The couch looked modest, a far cry from the grandiose furniture found in most London Wizarding homes. Severus was surprised to find his friend living in such a demure place, considering his preferences for the regal back in their youth.

"I'm in here, Sev!" a deep voice called from a small hallway, snapping Severus’ attention back to his friend. He set his luggage down and followed the voice to a small kitchen.

Severus took in the sight of his old friend throwing tea leaves into the kettle. Slowly, the man turned to him. He seemed to have lost the mask he carried throughout their childhood. His features were no longer boyish, but his eyes were softer and his smile more genuine than Severus had ever seen before. His deep purple robes were the only thing that reminded Severus that this was the same young boy he had grown up with.

"Hello, Regulus," Severus greeted.

Regulus responded by pulling Severus into a gentle hug.

"It's good to see you again, Severus," Regulus replied.

"It's been too long," Severus said into the hug.

"Well, you never visited, and I never wanted to go back." Regulus pulled away. "Now let’s get you settled into the guest room, and then we can chat about what my idiot brother did this time."

Regulus showed Severus to the guest room, where Severus summoned his luggage. He took a few minutes to freshen up before going back to the living room, where Regulus had already set up the tea, sugar, and some cookies.

"I see you still remember all the etiquette lessons your mother gave you," Severus commented dryly at the sight of the setup.

Regulus gestured for his friend to take a seat. "Hard to forget lessons that are seared into your memory like a horse getting branded." Regulus chuckled darkly. Severus gave a non-committal sound, empathizing with Regulus' relationship with his parents. He sat on the double couch perpendicular to Regulus and opened the sugar container to add some to his tea.

"Now, you know I hate small talk. Will you tell me what happened?" Regulus asked after a bit of silence.

"Trying to get rid of me already, Reg?" Severus asked, humor evident in his jab.

"Not at all. In fact, I was the one who kept inviting you here for years. I would like to know what finally made you decide to visit." Regulus smiled.

"Well, if there are people who could make me do the impossible, it's your brother and his dunderhead friends." Severus meant it as a joke, but it came out too bitter. Regulus gave him an encouraging smile, silently asking him to continue.

"He never orchestrated that attack in fifth year—Potter did. Potter erased our memories. Blamed your brother."

Regulus' eyes widened as he froze, hand freezing midair as the teacup was on its way to his mouth.

"James was the reason you got attacked?" he asked, aghast.

Severus nodded. "Not only that, but Black and I were in some sort of romantic tryst that year, but Potter took those memories away as well." The words came out without any emotion. Severus sounded like he was reading potion ingredients aloud, but Regulus knew his friend better. He saw the pain in Severus' eyes—the ever-growing abhorrence toward the deceased wizard.

Regulus blinked, his fingers tightening ever so slightly around his teacup. "You and Siri? I don't know what to say..." Regulus trailed off, unable to complete any thought.

"Reg," Severus said, a tiny crack in his voice giving way to vulnerability he had not shown in years, "this is tearing me apart. A whole relationship, with a man I always believed I loathed. Do you remember anything from my fifth year?"

"I—no, I don’t. Sorry, Sev. Now that you mention it... I remember Sirius hiding letters that summer. Said they were nothing—but when I saw them, they were from you. You were civil with each other, at least in public. Then you went to that hospital wing and came out with this hatred for him. When I asked what happened, you just said he almost killed you." Regulus recalled, trying to grasp any memory of Sirius and Severus he had.

A beat of silence passed as Severus tried to regain control over his emotions. He had spent his life mastering them, and he wasn't about to lose control now. Regulus gave him a minute, finally sitting back and taking a sip of his tea. Then he decided to break the silence.

"How did you find out?"

"Potter junior did a Legilimency attack on me and saw the memories of that night. He thought—they thought—I framed Black. He stole my wand and performed the Ritual of Past Mysteries. After that, I left. Your brother found me that evening and we fought again. He called me a 'cold, vindictive bastard who pushes away anyone who gets too close' because I called James Potter out for what he really is," Severus said, giving the rundown of the past few days.

"I have so many questions," Regulus began.

Severus immediately stood up, setting his now empty teacup down. "And I have no desire to answer them right now. Regulus, there is a war brewing, my allies are my childhood tormentors, and I have been given the task of protecting their disrespectful, reckless—insolent—children. I am here for one week, and I would just like one bloody moment where I do not have to think about my life back there."

"Alright, but I want to help you get through this, so we will talk about it before you leave," Regulus replied.

"Thank you. And thank you for opening up your home to me," Severus said, his voice gentle and grateful.

"I'm glad you're here, Sev," Regulus said with the same sincerity.

Chapter 14: In Search of Missing Memory

Notes:

We're back with Sirius!

Three days later, Sirius found himself eagerly opening Harry’s letter with Remus by his side. He glanced through the bad handwriting that reminded him of James more than he’d care to admit as he gave Remus the highlights. 

“He’s getting better sleep… less nightmares. He’s been practicing mindfulness for Occlumency, and oh, isn’t using the cloak anymore.” He looked up to meet Remus’ eyes. “Snape’s words really got to him.”

Remus nodded grimly. “Snape wasn’t wrong. No one disciplines Harry but him. The wizarding world worships him and we, well we treat him more like a buddy than a child. Harry needs parenting, not the burden of war.”

“We’ll do better. We both know how James and Lily wanted him to be raised and we both will step up.” Sirius promised. His eyes turned back to the letter. “Hermione is helping him with Transfigurations, Draco and him are getting along and Snape still isn’t back yet but Draco said that he’s visiting a friend in France.” He sighed at the end, disappointed at the news he had been eagerly awaiting. “How long can he run away from this?” Sirius tossed the letter onto his coffee table and slumped back onto the sofa. 

“He’ll be back, Sirius. The bigger question is what are you going to say to him? Your conversation didn’t go too well last time.” Remus reminded him. “Maybe it’s better that you both take the time to cool off and deal with this like adults.”

“How does one deal with having their memory wiped and their boyfriend attacked by their so-called best friend “like an adult”? Is there an instruction manual for this?” Sirius asked, frustrated. He knew that he didn’t handle this situation well but how is he even supposed to react? Who does he get mad at? Surely not the man whose child he was raising, all because of Sirius’ ‘genius’ plan that got him killed? What would fixing a nearly 20 year old wound look like? Where does he start?

“You’re spiraling again.” Remus said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair before rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to react.” 

Remus placed his hand on Sirius’ shoulder in an attempt to ground him. “You’re not ‘supposed’ to do anything besides treat people with respect. If you’re angry at James, that’s okay. If you’re confused, you have time to figure things out. Just tell me one thing: why are you so eager to see Snape? Do you still like him?”

“Like him?! Are we back in 2nd year?” Sirius joked, completely deflecting the question. 

“Alright.” Remus relented. “Are you completely, irrevocably in love with him? Is he your reason to wake up in the morning? Is his face the last thing you see when you go to sleep? Are you willing to die for him? Are you willing to live for him? Is he the light of your loins? Does he fill the hole in your heart?” Remus tried to hide a devious smile as he saw, for perhaps the first time in their friendship, a blush spread across Sirius’ face.

“Damn, Moony,” Sirius ducked his gaze, unwilling to give his friend the satisfaction of winning. “Let’s go back to the liking him question.”

“Jokes aside, Pads, what do you want from him? Because if you don’t have that figured out, you too are just going to fight again. The last thing we need is arguments amongst ourselves during a war.” Remus redirected.

“I don’t know! I just feel this instinct to seek him out wherever he is. I’ve done that since Hogwarts. When Harry hexed him, I was livid and terrified.” Sirius answered. 

“Terrified…” Remus tasted that word in his mouth. “Of Snape?”

“No,” Sirius said thoughtfully. “Not of him… for him. He hates being frozen. He said it was a…” Sirius snapped his fingers trying to recall the word. ”Trauma response?” He shook his head. “Something from his childhood. Believe it or not, his dad was worse than mine.”

Remus’ eyes widened as he leaned back. “How do you even know this?”

“Don’t you remember? We wrote letters to each other the summer before…” Sirius gestured vaguely, not willing to find words for everything that just came into light.

“No, I don’t.” Remus said.

“But… I remember telling you. We were in the common room and Peter said something about Slytherins, then James said something about Snape and I got mad. When you guys asked me what happened, I said he and I became…” Sirius’ eyes were fixated on the ceiling as he willed himself to remember the conversation. “Shit!” He exclaimed.

“What?” Remus asked, concerned.

“I don’t remember what I said but it wasn’t ‘friends’. Snape and I got together over that summer.” Sirius began putting the puzzle pieces together. “That’s probably why my memory is hazy and you can’t remember it!”

“Well, do you still have the letters?” inquired Remus.

Sirius snapped his head to Remus and then at the staircase. “Why didn’t I think of that?” he exclaimed before he bolted toward his childhood bedroom. Remus leaned back on the sofa, chuckling at Sirius’ childishness. The man really hadn’t grown up at all, but who could blame him considering he had lost twelve years of his life for a crime he never committed.

Sirius tore through his old bedroom, opening every desk drawer and nightstand in sight. Scrolls and scraps of parchment flew behind him in a paper storm as he rifled through drawer after drawer, cursing under his breath. “Where did I put them?” Sirius muttered to himself. 

Finally, he turned to the armoire, dusty and ancient. He had hidden his most prized possessions there before he ran away to James’ house the following year. It was an ancient artifact, etched with protective runes—a secret sanctuary for everything that had once mattered to him.

Sirius raised his wand, and chanted “Alohomora!” The burst of magic bounced off the door and Sirius ducked just in time for it to fly past him and into the wall. 

“Damn!” he cursed, forgetting that he had placed an anti-unlocking charm just in case his mother ever decided to go through his things. He stood there for a minute until he remembered another spell he had learned during his Auror training. “Open sesame!” he tried again, shielding himself from the impending destruction. The door flew off the hinge, launching dust everywhere and landing on the floor with a loud thud. His mother would be rolling in her grave right now. 

“Everything okay?” He heard Remus yell. Sirius waved his hands, trying to get the dust to settle.

“Yeah! Just had to get the door open.” He called back. Then he yanked the right drawer open and sagged with relief when his eyes landed on Snape’s handwriting. Sirius carefully grabbed the parchments, clutching onto them with a delicate desperation and rushed downstairs. 

“I found them!” said Sirius, triumphantly, when he re-entered the room, holding them up like a trophey. Sirius set them down and began to inspect them. They were all in good condition, and dated, so he shouldn’t have a problem following along.

Remus smiled, knowing it was his cue to leave. But he couldn’t help teasing his friend one last time. “Great! Let’s go out to dinner and we can read them once we’re back.” Remus bit his lip to keep the smile from taking shape as Sirius’ head snapped up again.

“Oh, yeah, I promised we’d get dinner tonight,” Sirius said, disappointment coloring his words. Remus’ shoulders started shaking from the laughter he was trying to restrain, until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“I’m just messing with you. Read those letters, we’ll do dinner some other time. But, I know you aren’t leaving this couch anytime soon so I’ll bring you takeout. You need to eat.” Remus replied. 

“Thank you.” Sirius said, sincerely. 

Remus smiled in acknowledgement. “Just promise me, whatever you find in those letters, you won’t do something impulsive and stupid. There’s no point in making this harder for anyone involved.”

“You know I can’t promise that.” Sirius replied with a sly smile. 

“Fine, at least call me before doing the thing so I can talk you down, or say ‘I told you so’ later.” said Remus. 

“Now that, I can do.” Sirius pulled Remus into a hug before allowing the man to step into the floo and go back home. 

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! I'm having a hard time responding to comments right now but I promise I'm reading them and I cherish everyone of them!

Chapter 15: Between War and Peace

Regulus Black was not as aloof as people believed. As the younger sibling in a controlling pure-blood family, he'd learned to stay quiet, to observe rather than react. But stillness didn’t mean detachment—Regulus noticed everything . Especially when it came to Severus Snape.

He hadn't seen Severus in person for fifteen years, but he still knew him better than most. That’s why, when Regulus faked his death and removed the Dark Mark, the first person he reached out to wasn’t his brother—it was Severus.

He did it in the most Slytherin way imaginable. A plain envelope, delivered through Muggle post. Inside, just a single page written in Regulus’ clean, deliberate handwriting. A PO. box as a return address. Just a regular muggle letter with one line of code.

Dear Severus,

I hope this letter finds you well. I was informed that you are grieving the loss of a dear friend. Worry not, for I can assure you he is in a better place.

I’m doing much better since last we spoke, though I do miss your company. 

The other day, I saw a young boy and his friend bickering on the street. It reminded me of the time we spent an hour in that dusty corridor near the greenhouse, debating whether that enchanted fern had actually growled at you, or if it had just been your stomach. I still maintain it was your stomach since you had skipped breakfast in favor of homework that morning.

Sincerely,

Reverend Arcturus

Severus had recognized it instantly and sobbed with relief at the news. He wrote back a quick reply that just said Regulus? and got an answer saying Yes.

After that, they wrote in secret—sometimes brief notes, sometimes long letters full of memory and dry wit. Once the war ended, parchment gave way to floo calls. Regulus had become the only person in Severus’ life who didn’t see him as either hero or villain, spy or soldier. With Regulus, he could be himself: just a man trying to survive his own history.

And for Regulus, Severus was a tether to something honest. A link to his childhood. To his family. To the version of himself that hadn't been swallowed whole by war.

All that is to say he knew Severus well. That’s why, instead of approaching Severus directly, he left the book containing the memory retrieval potion on the breakfast table on his fourth day. Severus carefully placed the ancient, leather-bound book on the coffee table. Regulus looked up, folding the latest issue of Le Monde and diverting his attention to his friend. "Subtle," Severus remarked dryly.

"I wasn't trying to be." Regulus challenged. 

His friend let out a sigh and took a seat next to him. "Why would you give me this?" 

Regulus leaned forward, placing his hand on Severus' knee. "I know you hate not having the answers. I also know you hate being manipulated, and while we're powerless to stop Albus and the Dark Lord's manipulation, you still have some control in this situation." 

"I'm not ready." Severus admitted, pain and worry shining in his eyes instead of tears. 

"That's okay," reassured Regulus. "Now you know there's an option whenever you're ready." 

"I wish I could just stay here." Severus leaned back onto the couch, already exhausted with the things that awaited him back home. 

"Really?" Regulus straightened in attention. "I can help you fake your own death!" he offered. 

Severus considered it for just a minute before shaking his head. "They would not believe that twice. Instead, I'll visit more often. Besides, I cannot abandon Potter. He's but a child." 

"You care about him deeply," noted Regulus. 

"I care about all of my students. My usual demeanor is enough to keep them in check but is somehow not enough for Potter junior." Severus explained. 

"Have you considered why?" asked Regulus. 

Severus shook his head. "Is there anything to consider? He is Potter's child." 

"Now, now, Sev." Regulus tutted. "You know that is quite unfair. James only made your life miserable. It seems that Harry isn't listening to anybody." 

"You paid too much attention to James Potter," Severus remarked. 

"And you apparently dated my brother. Neither of us had good taste in men." Regulus shot back. "Now focus!" 

"Alright. What would you attribute Potter's recklessness and rudeness to? Harry, I mean." Severus asked. 

Regulus replied thoughtfully, "Well, you did hint that he had a harsh childhood with his aunt and uncle," Severus nodded, indicating for him to continue. "Perhaps he doesn't trust authorities to protect him because they never have. Even at Hogwarts, that child is forced to fight off a beast nearly every year. You told me, yourself, about the troll and Quirrell. That was only his first year. The worst thing we faced our first years were Siri and his dumbass friends. All of the adults in his life have failed him, Severus. Why should he believe you are any different?" 

Severus contemplated the words, trying not to let his prejudices outright dismiss the idea. "I suppose you raise valid points, but how do I get it to him that I do, indeed, mean well and have been trying to keep him alive for the past four years?" 

"Have you ever tried talking to him like this? Regulus gestured between them. 

"Absolutely not!" Severus was horrified at the idea. "He is a student, not a friend of mine!" 

"Severus," Regulus began. "You aren't a 21-year-old teacher anymore. They will respect you even if you let your walls down." 

"Alright." Severus snapped. "I will try doing that at the next Occlumancy lesson. I doubt Albus will let go of the demand so quickly." 

"Great, now go get ready. For the love of Merlin and Morgana, do not wear all black attire." Regulus replied. 

"Where are we going?" Severus asked. 

"I got us tickets to the Louvre, the magical section too. When Sirius asks what you were doing, I need you to say something besides moping in my cottage." Regulus explained.

"And why are you so sure he's going to ask?" Severus pressed on. 

"Because I know he still has the impulse control of a toddler. I promise you, he's watching that fireplace like a hawk." Regulus rolled his eyes. 

"Come on, Regulus. He must have changed in the past twenty years." said Severus. 

"Sev, you do realize I met him this year when he was on the run?" Regulus questioned. Severus looked on in confusion and Regulus shook his head. "I'll tell you about it on our way there. Get ready!" Regulus all but pushed Severus out of his seat. 

After three wardrobe changes, because Regulus would not accept Severus' outfit choices, they headed off, chatting about all the things they had missed on their monthly calls. For the first time in a long time, Severus did something for himself, not for a war in which he had been used as a simple pawn.

Notes:

I know these chapters aren't super action packed but I really want the characters to process their trauma enough for them to move forward. That can't happen if they're constantly in life or death situations.

Chapter 16: Prince Snape

Notes:

The first of the letters! I tried to mess around to have different fonts but it didn't work out. There's still some code in the text so LMK if you can't see some text.

Sirius began scattering the letters across the table, searching for the first one. He didn’t even register the soft sound of the Floo as Remus left. His hand trembled slightly as he reached for the shortest parchment, anticipation curling in his chest. Carefully, he picked it up, inspecting it like it might vanish if he blinked. With shaky fingers, he held the parchment close and began reading. 

 

July 2nd 1975

Dear Snape,

I figured you wouldn't write to me first, so I decided to take the leap.

How’s your mum doing? Last time we spoke, you said you were worried about her. Did you end up getting that job at the mill? If not, I saw a shop in Diagon Alley with a "Help Wanted" sign—they might still be hiring, if you want something a little more magical.

Is Lily talking to you yet? I know how stubborn Gryffindors can be, but I can’t imagine her staying mad at you forever.

Not much else to ask, so I’ll just ramble about myself. I went back to my home—well, my parent’s house, not home. Hogwarts always felt more like home anyway. They’re letting me invite James over to “keep me out of trouble,” but they won’t allow Remus or Peter since they’re not “pureblooded.” So, obviously, I’m sneaking out to meet them tomorrow. Peter found this Muggle place in London called Piccadilly Circus. I’ve never seen a circus before—do they really have animals? Have you ever been?

I want to learn more about Muggle stuff. I’m finally getting the chance. Do you like anything from their world? Music? Books? I’m not much of a reader (I promise I’ll read your reply, though), but I’ve always wondered what kinds of stories they tell.

I don’t really know how to end this, so… write back? I want to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Sirius Black

 

Sirius exhaled slowly, the smile still lingering on his lips. That letter had felt so light at the time, so casual. He’d been irritated with his parents, annoyed at being stuck at Grimmauld Place. Funny how he'd give anything now to go back to a time when his parents were the biggest barrier between him and his friends—not betrayal. Not death.

He turned the parchment over. A reply, in Severus’s precise, sharp script.

 

July 3rd 1975

Hello Black,

Thank you for writing to me.

I’m doing well. My mother’s condition has improved more than I expected, which I’m grateful for. I did not get the job at the mill, but I did get one at a corner shop. It gives me an excuse to be out of the house, which is all I really need.

Lily is still not speaking to me. I doubt that will change anytime soon. I visited her family yesterday and apologized to them personally. Her father was disappointed in me—not an expression I saw often—but I think he forgave me more easily than she will, if she ever decides to, that is.

As for Piccadilly Circus—don’t get your hopes up. It’s not an actual circus. Lily told me about it once. It’s more of a bustling crossroads, lots of shops and noise. Still, I hope it’s a good distraction for you.

I do listen to Muggle music, though I doubt it’s to your taste. I prefer quieter, more ambient sounds. If you’re serious about learning more, I can send you a list of records in my next letter. You’ll need a record player if you don’t already have one—records are how Muggles play music, in case you weren’t aware.

One last thing: I’ll be writing back on the parchment you send me. I only have enough left for my summer homework and I cannot risk my father’s wrath by purchasing more. DO NOT take that as some kind of charity plea, Black. If you send me extra parchment, I’ll stop replying altogether. I mean it.

Sincerely,

Severus T. Snape

 

Sirius blinked, surprised by how carefully Severus had responded. It wasn’t warm, exactly, but it wasn’t cruel either. They had been so precious. Severus had never been the definition of happiness but he seemed like a ray of sunshine in this letter compared to the man Sirius saw in his home during the ritual. 

Sirius placed the parchment down as though it were fragile. Like Severus himself might shatter if handled too carelessly. His eyes scanned the table in search of the next letter.

 

July 9th, 1975

Dear Severus,

That felt weird to write, but if we’re friendly enough to exchange letters, we’re friendly enough for first names.

You were right—Piccadilly Circus wasn’t the animal-packed spectacle I imagined, but it was still fun. Just being with my friends again felt like a breath of air after being locked away. 

I still want that list of records. Moony has a record player he’s letting me borrow, and Wormtail knows a shop nearby where I can buy some records. 

Reggie mentioned you the other day. Said you’re Eileen Prince’s son. I didn’t know that! Did you know she’s practically royalty in the magical world? That makes you royal too. Prince Snape. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

(You better believe I’m calling you that now.)

I didn’t know you and Reggie were close. It’s kind of… nice, actually. The way he looks up to you. Like you’re the older brother and not me. He told me you were going to give him your old potions book. That’s honestly sweet. He needs the help, and I’m hopeless at potions, so thank you. Really.

How’s the job going? What do you get up to when you're not working? I want to know everything—even the hard stuff. You always hide it too well, but I want to be here for you, if you’ll let me.

Sincerely,

Sirius Black

 

July 13th, 1975

Hello Bla Sirius,

I give you permission to call me Severus. But you are not to call me “Prince Snape.” I am not one of your Marauders and I do not require a ridiculous nickname, Snuffles.

Regulus is a good friend. Kind and thoughtful. Perhaps qualities you might consider adopting—though that might be asking too much.

My job is fine. I used my first paycheck to buy my favorite album. Lily and I used to watch her parents dance to it when it came out. I hadn’t listened to it in years. It’s called Blue Hawaii by Elvis. It’s old—came out fifteen years ago—but the songs are still beautiful. My favorite is Can’t Help Falling in Love. I listened to it last night, when my father was out drinking. I had to hide the record again before he got home. He wouldn’t approve, but I find ways to enjoy things despite him.

If you want something more recent, try Elton John’s Elton John. It came out five years ago. I’m not as up to date with Muggle music as I used to be, but you can’t really go wrong with either artist. I prefer the quieter songs—the ones you have to sit still to really feel.

Other than work and listening to music when I can, I’ve started the summer homework. I regret beginning with Transfiguration. It’s miserable. But I’m hoping practice will help.

Give Regulus my regards.

Sincerely,

Severus T. Snape

 

Sirius had remembered those records. He went with Peter to buy them four days later. He had listened to them the same night. He remembered how he had desperately wished for Severus to be there, to share the experience. Severus could tell Sirius about each song and why it was meaningful to him. They might share a dance or two. Sirius remembered how he rushed to his desk half-way through Your Song. 

He had bolted to his desk halfway through it, pulling out the longer parchment he kept reserved for their letters ever since Severus told him he couldn’t get more for himself. He remembered the way he had yanked that parchment, urgently and carelessly. It was a stark contrast to way he gripped it now, delicately like it needed to be protected at all cost. 

 

July 17th, 1975

Dear Prince Snape,

I got the records.

Peter took me to the shop today. The clerk winked at us for some reason, which was weird, but anyway—I’m writing to you while the music plays in the background.

You were right. The slower ones are more beautiful. They hit you right in the chest, don’t they?

I wish you were here. You could tell me what each song means to you, what memories they hold. Moony and Wormtail don’t care much, and James is… well, James. He only listens to music that can burst eardrums. 

I don’t have much else to say. I just had to tell you. I’m glad you shared this with me. It feels like I got to know a piece of you no one else sees.

When we’re back at Hogwarts, I want to know everything—about these songs, about why you love them, about you.

With warmth,

Sirius

 

July 21st, 1975

Dear Sirius,

Do NOT call me Prince Snape .

I am pleased to hear that you are enjoying the music. Art is to be shared, not kept private. I will tell you more about the songs once we are back at school. In the meantime, I suggest you start on your homework if you do not want to get stuck in detention the moment we return. Also, please know that if you write to me on a Thursday or Friday, I may not respond till the following week. I usually write to you when my father is not home.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape

 

Sirius sat still, holding on to that letter. It was too much, the mundanity, the ease, the comfort. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Perhaps those letters were the last time he felt that way. 

It wasn’t the words that haunted him—it was the voice behind them. The way Severus had opened up in the smallest ways. Music. Memories. Little glimpses of a boy trying not to hope too much. Sirius could still hear him in his mind, dry and sharp, but warm in the strangest of ways.

He leaned back, staring at the ceiling, the corners of his mouth twitching up for a second. “Prince Snape,” he whispered, the name followed by a painful laugh.

Sirius clutched the parchment to his chest, a chill rippling down his spine. His body curled inward, instinctively shielding the letter like it was something fragile—something worth protecting with his whole self. He blinked, only then noticing the dampness on his cheeks. “Brilliant,” he muttered, voice low and rough. But he didn’t stop. And he didn’t wipe the tears away, either. They soaked into the parchment, once again, providing the comfort it had years ago.

Notes:

I'm torn between having Sirius read the rest of the letters now or come back to them later.

Chapter 17: Visions

The sound of the floo startled Sirius out of his despair. He quickly wiped his tears. “Moony, I really don’t feel like…” Sirius paused at the sight of his godson, panting like he was out of breath and leaning against another boy for support. Sirius shot to his feet, heart lurching. “Harry, are you alright? Who is this?” He nodded toward the blond boy.

“I’m Draco, Narcissa’s son.” The blond explained. Sirius looked between the two, unsure how to react.

“We don’t have time for this! Regulus is alive,” Harry said urgently. Sirius led Harry to the sofa, gently urging him to sit down.  He quickly cleared the coffee table with a flick of the wand, banishing the nearly forgotten letters somewhere out of sight. Sirius crouched down in front of the young boy, gently holding Harry’s hand. 

“Alright,” he said, softly. “What happened?” Harry’s lips parted, but no sound came out—just shallow gasps. Sirius looked up to Draco, now standing stiff beside the couch.

“We were working on our final Herbology paper and Harry had another vision.” Draco said, far too calm. Sirius immediately spotted the mask Draco managed to put on. He may be Malfoy by name but he was a Black in spirit.

Harry began a nearly incoherent ramble. “I’ve been doing Occlumency like Snape said but I couldn’t keep him out. Voldemort. I saw them. Regulus and Snape. They were in France, maybe? I think it was France—I saw the Mona Lisa, I think, and sculptures, like a museum or an old gallery. Voldemort found them. He said something about making Regulus return, about unfinished work. And Snape—recruiting him too. I don’t know what’s happening, but they’re in trouble, Sirius, they need—”

“Harry, breathe.” Sirius had conjured a glass of water and pressed it into his godson’s shaking hands. Harry drank, still pale, and shaking. Sirius turned back to Draco as Harry tried to calm himself. 

“He said my parents were there too. With Aunt Bellatrix. They want to make the two of them take the Dark Mark again.” Draco added. 

Sirius nodded once, his own mask unknowingly slipping back in place. “Well, this will be a fun family reunion.”

“You saw this like the other visions? Like when you saw Arthur?” Sirius asked Harry.

Harry nodded, eyes wide. “Dumbledore said it was just a dream, but it wasn’t, I know it wasn’t. Snape said Regulus’s name. I heard him. You have to believe me! He’s alive.”

Sirius nodded. “I know Reggie isn’t dead. He fled to an old estate we had in France. We reconnected when I had to flee with Buckbeak. When you told me Snape went there to visit a friend, I figured he was with Reggie. Now I need you to calm down so we can figure this out.” Harry nodded shakily, standing up. Sirius and Draco followed. 

Harry looked up to meet Sirius’ gaze. “You knew? How could you not tell us? We all thought he was dead!”

“We can sort that out later but right now, we have to go. We can’t let the Dark Lord—” Draco began.

“I know,” Sirius cut him off. He summoned two jumpers and tossed one to Harry, already putting his on. “Harry and I are going.”

Draco’s calm facade fell, as the fear started to rise. “I’m coming too!” Draco demanded.

“No!” Sirius said, sternly. 

Harry opened his mouth, ready to defend Draco but the young blond spoke up instead. “Why not? I’m on your side.”

“Draco,” Sirius said, taking a deep breath. “Harry’s told me you’re on our side. I believe it wholeheartedly, but I can’t let you come with us.”

“Why not? That’s my godfather. I can’t just leave him like that.” Draco shot back.

“Because I have been down your path and I know your family.” Sirius explained. “After I rebelled, there was nothing worse than going back home. The winter holidays are just around the corner. How are you going to survive with your family after you openly betray them? I won’t let you walk down my path.” 

Draco took a deep breath. “Okay, just get him back. He’s all I have right now.” Sirius patted Draco’s shoulder as a promise. 

Just then, the floo flared again, and Remus Lupin stumbled through holding a to-go bag and looking rather pleased with himself. “I got Indian—what in Merlin’s name happened?” His eyes scanned the room.

“Reggie and Snape are in trouble,” Sirius said briskly. “We’re going to get them.”

Remus’s brow furrowed. “Regulus? He’s alive?” He took a slow step forward, setting the food down.

“Yes,” Sirius snapped, “And I’d like to keep it that way. Can we get going?”

Remus raised his hands. “Alright. Okay. Where are we going? The boys aren't coming, right?”

“Draco’s staying,” Sirius said, casting a warning glance at the boy before turning to face his godson. “If we ask you to stay behind, are you going to follow us right after we leave?”

“Obviously,” Harry said flatly.

Remus sighed, already reaching for his wand. He looked at Harry, his mouth twitching toward a familiar phrase— You’re too much like your father. But the words caught in his throat. James Potter wasn’t a compliment to Harry anymore. Not after everything. “Where are we going?”

“To the Louvre,” Sirius said with determination.

Notes:

Okay, so I didn't stick to the letters but I wanted to save them for a more special occasion than just Sirius crying on his couch. We will come back to them! I also thought there was a LOT of introspection in the past few chapters and we need more actions so I raised the stakes.

Totally went rouge on my outline but I like how this is turning out.

Thank you to everyone who's been commenting. I really love working on this story and it's so motivating to see other people enjoy it too.

Chapter 18: Family Reunion

Summary:

I spent the entire evening researching spells, hexes and curses.

The trio hid behind the door, assessing the situation before diving in. Regulus and Severus were at the corner of the room. They seemed to be bound, bodies stretched in an unnatural, uncomfortable position but ropes nowhere to be seen. Opposite them, Bellatrix's cruel smile widened as she brandished her wand like a dagger.

“You’ve always been such a stubborn little lamb, Reggie,” Bellatrix purred, twirling her wand. “But now, the holidays are over. It’s time to come back.”

“Join us,” Lucius said smoothly, hovering a safe distance away. “You’ll be protected. Respected.”

Narcissa’s voice was softer. “We don’t want to hurt you. Severus, you’re our child’s godfather. We need you to protect him.”

Behind them all, Voldemort stood in silence, face unreadable, snake-like eyes glowing faintly red. Watching.

Bellatrix stepped forward, trailing her wand down Regulus’s cheek. “You know what I’ve been trained in,” she murmured. “You don’t need a demonstration, do you?” Then, with a sudden pivot, she aimed directly at Severus.

“Stay back, Harry,” Sirius hissed, pulling him further into the shadows. “No matter what.”

Remus grabbed Harry’s shoulders and guided him into the hallway as Sirius lunged into action. “Oppugno!”

The statues in the hall shook, as they were loosed from their foundation. Four of them launched toward Bellatrix, one taking Lucius out in the process as Bellatrix, Regulus and Severus ducked for cover. The statues hit the wall, shattering to the floor. All eyes turned to the entrance of the room, where Remus and Sirius stood, wands raised. 

Bellatrix didn’t even glance at Voldemort. She simply turned and fired the first curse. “CRUCIO!”

Sirius flicked his wand, blasting her curse away with a deflecting charm. Remus retaliated with a concussive wave of magic that sent Narcissa sprawling across a marble bench. The fight erupted like an explosion.

Spells flew—blue jets, red streaks, and bursts of green arcing across the hall. Statues collapsed under stray curses and people in portraits took cover. The winged bronze sphinx hanging from the ceiling took flight, screeching in alarm before crashing down in a rain of dust and gold.

Voldemort remained still, unmoved by the mayhem. He stepped forward, seized Lucius and Narcissa, and disappeared into the shadows with them—leaving Bellatrix behind.

Remus took the distraction as a chance to free Regulus and Severus. “Emancipare!”  

The magical bonds snapped. Regulus and Severus collapsed to the ground, gasping, then scrambled for their wands.

Sirius and Bellatrix circled each other, their duel fierce and wild. The walls shimmered with the heat of their spells, each word an echo of old hatred.

“You always ruin everything!” Bellatrix shrieked, like a child denied a toy. She hurled a wave of flame at him.

“It’s my pleasure,” Sirius shot back, dodging and answering with a chain of jinxes that lit her robes on fire.

The three men stood by, wands drawn, waiting for the right time to intervene.

Bellatrix’s cackle rang out. “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

The jet of green light surged toward Sirius. Time seemed to slow as Snape stepped in, screaming, “Priori Incantatem!” Gold light flew out, turning green by the time it collided with the curse Bellatrix had thrown. Heart hammering, Sirius stumbled toward them, still feeling the ghost of death at his back. Remus steadied him, eyes trained on him with fear. 

“I’m okay,” he gasped, clutching Remus’s sleeve. “I’m okay—”

Movement caught his eye. He turned—and there was Harry.

The boy ran straight into his arms. Sirius wrapped him up, holding tight as Remus stepped in front of them both, shielding them from the chaos.

Snape stood locked in the spell, his wand arm trembling under the pressure. Sweat beaded at his brow as the green light surged again. With one final effort, he flung the curse to the side, smashing it into a marble pillar.

The killing curse fizzled.

He staggered to his knees, breathless. Bellatrix remained perfectly upright, smiling.

She had let him win. She opened her mouth, a taunt ready at the tip of her tongue. Whatever she was about to say was cut off when Regulus raised his wand. “Expelliarmus! Brachiabindo!”

Bellatrix’s wand flew from her hand, skidding across the floor. Her mouth fell open in disbelief as she fell to the floor, unable to move.

“Traitor,” she hissed.

Voldemort emerged from the shadows, livid at the sight of his disarmed lieutenant at the hands of who were once his most loyal supporters. The anger gave way to the need for revenge. They, too, will be taken down by their own creations. “Sectumsempra.” The curse whispered from his lips, precise and merciless before apperating away with a still-bound Bellatrix. 

Regulus lurched toward his friend in horror as the other three men looked on, unsure of what was to come.

A line of invisible blades slashed through the air.

Severus screamed in agony, falling to the floor with a thud as blood began to pool around him.

Notes:

I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me!

Chapter 19: Vulnera Sanentur

Notes:

I didn't wanna leave this on a cliffy for too long. Here's the next chapter!

Severus’ white shirt bloomed crimson as Regulus screamed and dropped to his knees beside him. For a moment, the world stood still.

Sirius stared, frozen—mouth open, breath caught. His limbs wouldn't move.

Remus, too, was rigid, shock rippling across his face. The blood drained from Harry’s face, as he stood, unable to look away from his dying professor, helpless to save him.

Only Regulus moved. “Severus! No—no—” he cried, his voice cracking. He leaned in close, wand shaking in his hand. “Hold still, stay with me—”

Sirius took a step forward, but his legs were shaky, like the ground was moving under him. He fell on his knees. Blood. There was too much blood. Severus was bleeding out right there on the floor. “Okay, okay, we’ve got it, we’re gonna fix this—”

“Harry, get the first aid kit,” Remus commanded, rushing in as well. Harry bolted. His hands fumbled over scattered furniture, blood-slick tiles, until he found the small black box stashed near the door. He ran back, shoving the kit into Sirius’ trembling hands.

Harry staggered back, bile rising in his throat. He was going to be sick. Harry wasn’t ignorant to the consequences of war. He’d heard stories of the lives snatched away, two of them being his own parents. But now, seeing the consequences play out in front of him as his stoic professor withered in pain and the most capable warriors stood frozen, Harry understood, for the first time in his life, what the fear of death truly was.

A trickle of blood spilled from Severus’ mouth as he rasped out “Vul—Vulnera—” He choked, coughing up more blood as it trailed from his mouth, across his jaw. 

Regulus nodded, chanting the spell. “Vulnera Sanentur…Vulnera Sanentur…Vulnera Sanentur…” over and over as the bleeding began to slow. Regulus didn’t stop. His voice had become a metronome, desperate and mechanical.

Sirius struggled to open the kit, the metal clattering because of his shaky fingers. He grabbed a tissue from the kit and gently wiped the blood from Severus’ mouth, then down his neck. “You’re gonna be alright,” he said, though his voice cracked halfway through. “You’re—you’re stronger than this. You survived worse, remember? Just stay awake. Stay with me. Don’t close your eyes. We haven’t finished our fight yet. You still need to get back at me for what I said to you. You can’t die when we still have so much to figure out.”

Severus looked up at him briefly, eyes dazed and distant. If he recognized Sirius, he gave no sign. Sirius leaned closer. “You can’t die,” he whispered, “Please!”

Remus put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.  “Sirius. Regulus. Let me take over. I have practice healing wounds.”

Regulus didn’t respond and Sirius didn’t look away either.

“Take Regulus,” Remus said quietly, nodding toward him. “He needs to breathe. I’ve got Severus now.”

Sirius hesitated, brushing the damp hair from Severus' face one last time. “Stay with me. We can’t lose you.” 

Then he shifted, wiping the blood away from his hands, circled behind Regulus, and gently placed both hands on his brother’s shoulders.

“Reggie—hey. You did great. He’s okay. The bleeding’s stopped.” Sirius nearly surprised himself by how quickly he slipped into caretaker mode despite being on the verge of falling apart himself. 

Regulus didn’t look up. “I can do more. I just need another moment—Vulnera Sanentur…Vulnera Sanentur…” Regulus sounded determined.

“Hey. No.” Sirius’ voice cracked with something like pleading. “You—you’re shaking. You need to step back. Let Remus help him now. We can’t overdo that spell. It will cause him more pain.”

Regulus finally let his wand fall, his shoulders trembling.

“Harry,” Remus said, voice taut with urgency. “I need you to talk to him. Make sure Severus stays awake.” Harry took a few steps forward and started muttering something about Draco missing him. 

Sirius guided his brother away, positioning himself to still keep an eye on Severus. Then Sirius spoke again—too fast, too much. “God, I thought I was going to lose him. I mean—this is worse than that time at the shack and I can’t go through that again. Not now. We were so close—he almost— but he’ll be fine. He’ll be okay once we get the two of you back home and fix him up.”

Regulus took a step back, escaping Sirius’ touch. His eyes darted from Severus to Sirius “What do you mean ‘back home’?” he asked.

“Grimmauld Place.” Sirius replied.

“I’m not going back there.” Regulus folded his arms, ready to close Sirius off.

“Come on, Reggie, we don’t have time for this. We need to get the two of you to safety and get Snape’s wounds healed.” Sirius said. 

“I’ll be safe here. I can heal Severus up too.” Regulus argued. “In fact, I’m the only one who knows the counter spells and healing potions for this curse.”

Sirius began growing impatient. “Don’t be ridiculous! How long do you think it would take our cousins to figure out where in France the Black Estate is? One trip to Gringotts and the next battle happens in your living room.”

“And Grimmauld Place is safer?” Regulus shot back. “They spent every Yule there!”

“Yes, it is. It’s been under a fidelius since I returned. Now, please . Just come with us.” Sirius begged.

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Why do you care so much now?”

“What do you mean ‘why do I care’? You’re my brother and it’s my job to look out for you.” Sirius said with annoyance.

“A job you haven’t done since you left for Hogwarts! You don’t get to waltz into my life and tell me what to do after thirteen years of not even knowing I was alive! You don’t get to call me your brother after disowning and abandoning me when I was a kid!” Regulus yelled.

“Of course I fucking cared, Reggie!” Sirius shouted, voice raw. “I was angry, but I never stopped caring. Not about you. Not about him, even when I didn’t remember. That’s why this—this is killing me. Please! I need him to be okay.”

Regulus scoffed. “When have you ever cared about Sev? In fact, you and your bloody friends are the reason Severus came here anyways. I don’t have time for your heroics or your righteous crusade.”

“If you know what happened between us then you obviously know that I’m worried about him too! That I don’t want him hurt, either. Stop playing the moody loner when you have help. I’m not going to risk losing either of you because of your stubbornness. You can be as angry with me as you want as long as you’re alive and he,” Sirius pointed across the floor to an unconscious Severus, “is safe.” Sirius’ sharp tone made Regulus falter. The last thing he wanted was for something to happen to Severus but could he really trust his brother to keep them safe?

Harry stepped forward, but his voice was more calm than he felt. “Regulus… Mister Black, sir, please, just listen.” Both men turned to him, the tension between them slicing in half. “He passed out, lost too much blood. Professor Snape doesn’t have time. If you care about him—Grimmauld Place is secure and it has all the healing potions we’d need. And we all want to save him. Draco is going to go crazy if we don’t bring him back. He won’t be able to bear it if he loses Snape.”

Regulus looked at Sirius, then at Harry. He didn’t answer right away but it was clear that his resolve was almost broken.

Sirius’s chest heaved. “Please, Reggie” He broke off, his voice shaking. “I’ve been awful to both of you. But I want to make things right. I want to fix this. It’s clear that you care, too. Please just come home so we can heal Snape and figure this out. I don’t want to lose you… either of you.”

A long silence passed.

Regulus finally sighed, heavy and reluctant. “Fine. But I’m not staying locked in that place. The moment it stops being safe, I’m gone. And I’ll take Sev with me.”

“You won’t be a prisoner,” Sirius said gently. “You never were.”

Regulus moved past him to help Remus lift Severus.

Sirius ached to reach out—to be the one holding Severus, to feel the shallow rise of his chest, to know he was still there. But he stood back, knowing he had no right. At least, not yet. 

When Remus and Regulus apparated away with the unconscious man, Sirius turned to Harry and opened his arm. “Let’s go.”

Notes:

As always, LMK what you think!

Chapter 20: Scars Under Crimson

Notes:

I originally wrote the next 2 chapters as 1 but decided to break it down.

“Help me get him down,” Regulus said to Remus, lowering Severus toward the carpeted floor. The wards of Grimmauld Place pulsed faintly in recognition, but Regulus didn’t have time to care. 

Draco ran in, the scene cutting him up like glass. 

Sirius and Harry apperated in just as the two men worked quickly to check Severus’ pulse and breathing. “What happened?” Draco demanded. “Is he—?”

“He’s alive,” Regulus announced.

Harry rushed to Draco, “He’ll be okay.” 

Regulus cast a quick levicorpus and Sirius helped him move Severus to the closest bedroom. Draco took a step forward but Remus blocked his path. “We’ll take care of him. Go eat something first.” 

“I’m coming too!” Draco said, tears streaming from his face. Remus looked to Harry for support, who nodded. 

“I promise you, he’s fine. We’ll see him soon. He knows how worried you are.” Harry promised. Remus nodded, following the men into the guest room as Harry tried to talk Draco down.

By the time Remus caught up with them, they were working on taking Severus’ clothes off. “Remus, get me three bottles of wound-cleaning potion, blood-replenishing potion and some murtlap essence. I also need cotton pads, a sponge and two bowls of distilled water and — and ummmm…. Damn it! Ugh, get my potions book from 6th year. It should be in my desk drawer.” Regulus said, without looking up. Remus nodded, dashing out of the room.

Regulus began performing quick diagnostic spells, trying to gauge the severity of Severus’ injuries.

Sirius tried to push down the feeling of his heart pounding but couldn’t shake away the helplessness. Voldemort had hit Severus with a curse. The last time Voldemort raised his wand, it had meant death for his best friend and his wife. Swift and painless but still death. But this? It seemed like every blood vessel was cut enough to maximize the pain and keep Severus right between life and death. The very idea of that scale tipping over made Sirius nauseous. How would they even begin to mend these wounds? How much pain was Severus in? “What was that? Is he okay? Should we go to St. Mungo’s?” 

“No!” Regulus exclaimed. “No, he’ll be okay. I know the treatment for the spell. Just listen and I’ll explain everything later.” Regulus turned to face Sirius, realization dawning as he took in the look of pure fear and devastation his brother radiated. “Severus is here. The Dark Lord didn’t want to kill him. He wanted to teach us a lesson. I need you to trust me on this.”

“Okay,” Sirius took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. “I trust you.”

Harry knocked on the door, which Sirius answered. He opened it slightly, blocking Harry’s view. “Here are the cleaning supplies and potions you wanted.” Sirius took the tray from Harry’s hands. 

Regulus called out, “Sanitize them!”

“Remus is grabbing that textbook. Is he okay?” Harry asked, craning his neck to try to get a glimpse of his professor. 

“Yes, no internal injuries. We just need to patch him up. Take care of Draco.” Sirius said before closing the door once more. 

He set the tray down, hitting each object with a sanitizing charm. 

“Okay,” Regulus sighed, like he was psyching himself up. “What’s the spell to make him regain consciousness?” 

“Are you out of your mind? Do you realize how much pain he’ll be in?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“We need to give him the blood replenishing potion! His pulse is low and keeps on dropping. How can we do that if he’s unconscious?” Regulus argued.

Sirius shook his head. “I have an idea. Put the potion on his stomach.” Regulus gave him a skeptical look. “Can you just trust me?” Sirius demanded, patience running thin. Regulus stepped forward, grabbing the three vials full of the crimson liquid and putting them on Severus’ bare and bloodied stomach. He reached to unscrew one when Sirius stopped him. “No, we don’t want any air going in.”

Sirius took his wand out, aiming at the vials. “Sirius, what are you doing?” Regulus asked, concerned. The glare his older brother gave shut him up.

Sirius flicked his wand incanting, “In ventre.” The small bottles glowed golden as the liquid began to drain. 

“In the stomach?” Regulus asked. 

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded. “Mom used that spell when you got sick and wouldn’t take your medicine.”

“Oh,” Regulus said in a small voice, unsure of what to say. 

He wordlessly picked up the wound cleaning potion, dumping all the contents into the bowl of water. Soaking the sponge in water, Regulus started to wipe the blood off Severus’ body, Sirius following his lead with the other sponge. Sirius gasped in horror when his eyes fell on the exposed scarring, still red and unhealed. “It will heal.” Regulus promised.

“What spell was that?” Sirius asked. 

Regulus sighed, washing the sponge off in clean water before taking Severus’ arm. “Severus designed it for amputations and surgeries. It’s supposed to make clean cuts that can be healed in medical settings. The Dark Lord found out about it before Severus could get it registered and now it’s practically dark magic.”

Sirius froze, the sponge hovering over Severus’ collar bone, as the small drops chased the blood away. “He made the spell?”

Regulus gave a grim smile, “Ironic right? Almost dying from a spell you invented to save people.” Sirius shook his head, this new horror shaking him to his bones. There was another knock at the door. Regulus stood up this time, letting Sirius continue. 

“I found your book.” It was Remus this time, handing him the worn out textbook. “How’s he doing?”

Regulus grabbed it, scanning the heavily annotated margins and quickly flipping the pages. “He’s out of danger but it’s probably still painful. I think we should wait till the morning to wake him up. Now we just need to work on the scarring.” Regulus said without looking away from the book. When he found the right page, Regulus turned back to Sirius, who had begun gently applying the murtlap essence to the worse of the wounds. “Siri, is there any fresh Dittany in the house?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, “There should be three pots of it in the library’s balcony.” 

Regulus turned back. “How are you with potions?” Remus made a face, telling Regulus everything he needed to know. “Alright. Is Draco still here?”

“Yeah, he’s refusing to leave.” Remus said. “Can we let him in for a few minutes? I think he’s convinced that Snape didn’t survive and we’re just hiding it.”

“Can you hold them off a little while longer? Seeing him like this might make things worse. Tell both of them we’ll let them in before going to bed.” Sirius suggested. Remus agreed.

“I’m assuming Severus already taught him this.” Regulus said, bringing the conversation back. He held the book up to the page on Dittany. “Tell Draco to prepare the Dittany exactly like it says. He needs to read the annotations. If the margins say something that contradicts the book, go with the annotations. If he messes up, he starts over. No shortcuts. No guesswork. Oh, and we have to get this on him in two hours.”

Remus nodded and took the book from Regulus' hands. Regulus stood there, wondering how the past few hours had gone so wrong. 

Sirius’ voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Reggie, I’m done with the front. I applied the wound cleaning potion and the murtlap essence, too. Help me turn him over.” Regulus levitated the unconscious man again and the two brothers gently flipped him over to restart the whole process. 

Chapter 21: First Grief

Draco and Harry were seated at the dining table with some toast and butter on their plates. It was no Hogwarts feast but they didn’t seem to care. Harry had taken a couple of bites, barely managing to swallow them down while Draco’s plate remained untouched. 

“Draco, you need to eat. We skipped lunch to work on that essay and it’s almost midnight now.” Harry urged. Draco glared at him, shoving his plate away. Harry sighed, unnerved by the Slytherin’s silence. The blond hadn’t spoken since Harry had dragged him away from Severus, opting to show his anger and displeasure through silence instead. 

“You’re not the only one who’s worried, Malfoy.” Harry said, hoping he would rise to the bait. Draco looked up and Harry met his red-rimmed eyes, immediately regretting his snarky comment.

Draco was right to be upset. When Bellatrix cast that killing curse, Harry had run straight to Sirius. To make sure he was okay. To make sure he was alive. Now, he was denying Draco that same comfort he felt when his godfather hugged him tight. 

“He’s alive, Draco. I was talking to him.” Harry tried again. Draco just shook his head, hiding his face against the dining table. “Do you want me to tell you what happened?” Harry asked. 

“Yes,” Draco rasped out, his voice hoarse.

Harry told the story. He talked about how they found the two men bound, how Narcissa used Draco to convince Severus to join them. He told him about the battle that broke out. Harry described how his heart stopped and time came to a halt when Bellatrix cast that killing curse. Harry painted Severus’ heroics when he stepped in to save Sirius and how he won the duel against Draco’s aunt. He ended with how Voldemort appeared without Lucius and Narcissa, casting an unknown spell on Severus. “Your parents are safe, by the way. Maybe a bruise or two.” Harry said, hoping to end on a somewhat positive note.

“Yeah, I know.” Draco replied, no emotion in his voice.

“How?” Harry asked.

“My parents aren’t warriors. They are the Dark Lord’s financial support. The only reason they were on this mission is because they had personal relationships with Severus and Regulus. The Dark Lord wouldn’t risk losing his biggest fiduciary in battle.” Draco explained.  

“Oh,” Harry said, “I never realized that.” The two continued to sit together in silence, stuck in the horrors of the past day until Remus came in with the book tucked under his arm and a practiced smile, hoping to put the young boys at ease. 

“How are you boys doing?” He asked. 

“When are you going to let me see him?” Draco asked, nearly begging. 

“Do you really want to see your professor half naked?” Remus replied, trying to get a laugh out of the boy.

“I want to see my godfather alive. I want to see him breathing.” Draco’s voice cracked at the last word. Remus’ face contorted in sympathy. “He is breathing? Right? He’s alive? Please don’t tell me you’re prepar—preparing the body?” Draco’s voice shook. Remus and Harry exchanged a stunned glance.

Remus straightened, taking a step closer. “He’s alive, Draco. They’re cleaning the wounds. Severus wouldn’t want either of you to see him like this but we’ll let you go to him as soon as we heal him. We’re not lying or hiding anything to make you feel better. He was hit with a pretty rough curse but he will heal.” Remus promised.

Draco looked unconvinced so Remus continued. “What potions did we use?” 

Draco gave the man a strange look but answered anyway. “Wound-cleaning potion, murtlap essence and blood-replenishing potion?” 

“Yes and what do these potions do?” Remus asked gently.

“Make blood, ease pain and clean wounds?” Draco replied, still unsure where Remus was going. 

“Do we need to make blood or ease pain for someone that’s died?” Remus asked.

“No.” Draco said, confidently.

“So?” prompted Remus.

“He’s alive.” Draco nearly sobbed, burying his face in his hands and allowing himself to say it— to believe it for the first time since Severus had gotten back.

“He’s alive. Say it as many times as you need to.” Remus confirmed. “And he needs your help.” Draco looked up, meeting Remus’ gaze as the tears continued to fall. Remus held the book open. “We’re assuming Severus taught you about Dittany, it’s to stop his scarring but we don’t have much time. There’s some in the house. I’ll harvest it but I need you to prepare it exactly like this book says. Do what the annotations say, not what the text says. Can you do that?”

Draco took the book from Remus, eyes running through the page quickly. “I can do it.” Draco said confidently, wiping his tears. “He’s alive.” Draco muttered again, mostly to himself.

“Great!” Remus said, “I’ll be back with the harvest. This toast isn’t going to eat itself. I want atleast one piece gone by the time I come back.”

Draco’s eyes widened as he glanced toward his plate. Harry gave Remus a grateful smile as Draco reluctantly picked up the toast. Remus smiled back, eyes darting to Harry’s plate, silently asking him to eat as well. Harry turned back toward the table and ate. 

---

Within an hour and a half, Regulus finished applying the last of the Dittiny. He slumped back, sighing with relief. “Okay, let’s let him rest tonight. We can wake him up tomorrow. Hopefully the pain should subside by then.”

Sirius nodded, his eyes feeling heavier by the minute. “I’ll stay the night, just in case he wakes up.”

“You think seeing you when he wakes up is better than him waking up alone?” Regulus shot. Sirius just glared. “I mean it, Siri. Just go to your room. Come on.” Regulus stood up, reaching to pull his brother up as well. 

Instead of taking Regulus’ hands, Sirius continued to stare at him as he began to transform. Regulus stumbled back and Sirius shrunk in height and fur began to cover him. Within a blink of an eye, a large black dog was sitting in the place of Regulus’ brother. 

“What the fuck?” the younger boy yelped. “Okay! You can stay! Just change back! We can’t risk Sev getting an infection.” Sirius whimpered but changed back immediately. “Merlin! Why are you like this?” Regulus could guess why. Sirius began struggling the moment Severus saved him from the killing curse. He was feeling guilty. 

Sirius shrugged. Regulus gave Severus a once over before saying, “I’m going to call the boys and Remus, if they’re still awake.” Sirius dismissed him, turning his attention back to Severus. 

Regulus stretched, feeling the ache settle deep in his muscles. He considered having everyone take some dreamless sleep for the night as he strode out of the small bedroom. 

Draco was the first to notice his presence when he entered the living room. “All of you are awake?” Regulus asked. 

“Yeah, is he okay?” Draco asked. 

Regulus patted his shoulder and nodded. “He is. Do you boys want to see him?”

“Yes,” Draco immediately replied. Harry and Remus stood as well, ready to follow Regulus. The three men followed Regulus back. 

Draco held his breath as he entered the dimly lit room. He rushed to Severus’ side, as Sirius moved to make space. Draco took in the sight of his godfather, breathing shallow but steady. He was mostly disrobed and covered in the greenish brown paste Draco had made. The young boy still saw the horrifying scars. 
 
Draco sank to his knees, arms reaching for Severus’ hands. He buried his face in the sheets as he broke, allowing the heart wrenching sobs to finally overtake him. He felt Severus' fingers twitch at the touch and just held on tighter. Harry rushed to his side, running his hands up and down Draco’s back in an attempt to soothe him. There was a time he would have laughed at Draco Malfoy crying. But now, all he wanted to do was take the pain away. Funny, how grief turns enemies into allies. 

The three men exchanged a look, deciding to give the boys some privacy as they stepped into the hallway. “What do we do now?” asked a weary Remus. 

“I’ll transfigure a mattress and some sheets in Snape’s room for myself. Reggie can sleep in his old room and we can use the duplication charm to make space for Draco in Harry’s room. Remus, are you staying or do you need to head back?” Sirius asked.

“I can stay. Just in case you need me.” Remus replied.

“Okay, you can take my room for the night.” suggested Sirius.

“Can you tell the boys to take some dreamless sleep? Just half a dose. They need the rest and it sounds like Sev fully stocked all of your potions supply.” Regulus asked.

“Sure, I’ll talk to them right now. Why don’t the two of you work on the sleeping arrangement?” Sirius said. Sirius turned on his heel and went back inside, feeling uneasy after having Severus out of his sight.

Draco was now sitting on the bed, silent but calmer. Sirius reached inside a cupboard in the room, pulling out two towels that he transfigured into pajamas that would fit the boys. “Alright, time for bed.” Sirius said.

Draco’s eyes snapped up, the emptiness being replaced by panic. “Shit! I’m going to be in so much trouble if I sneak into my dorm right now.” He turned to Harry. “What are we going to do? My father will find out I was with you.”

Sirius just shook his head. “You’re staying the night. Remus and Reggie are working out the sleeping arrangements. Tomorrow’s Sunday so there’s no rush to get you back there. You can sneak in after we wake Snape up.” 

Draco was taken aback by the unexpected hospitality. “Are you sure? I don’t mean to be any trouble.” He asked, sheepishly, turning to Harry for support. Harry just shrugged. 

“You’re not trouble. You’re worried about someone you are close to. I get that. Stay the night and if things with your parents escalate, stay over winter break with Harry.” Sirius said, kindly. 

“Oh — I — um…” Draco trailed off, speechless after that offer.

“We don’t have to decide anything now. Just take these PJs, grab half a dose of dreamless sleep and we can worry about everything else later.” 

“Thank you,” Draco said, sincerely. Sirius nodded, motioning for the boys to go back to their room. They each grabbed the pajamas Sirius had placed on the bed and scurried out of the room.

---

Regulus and Remus wordlessly headed towards the stairs together. An awkward silence sizzled between them now that they no longer had the urgency of Severus’ treatment. Remus decided to break the silence. “So, you’re alive.”

Regulus huffed out a tired chuckle. “Yeah. Unfortunately, I am.”

They shared a quiet moment, the weight of the night pressing down on them.

“And…” Remus continued, tone casual but eyes sharp, “you had a crush on James?”

Regulus froze mid-step. “How did you—?”

“I saw the ‘RB+JP’ carved into your desk when I was looking for your textbook.”

“Brilliant.” Regulus groaned. “I could have just left the scars instead of getting humiliated.”

Remus gave him a sideways grin. “Your secret's safe with me. But maybe slap a disillusionment charm on that desk. Sirius tends to snoop.”

Regulus shook his head, but there was a ghost of a smile on his face. “You were always my favorite out of Siri’s friends.”

“I thought it was James.”

Regulus gave him a dry look, as he tried to hide the smile that threatened to appear on his lips. Maybe getting reacquainted with his brother won’t be so bad. He might even end up with new friends. 

Notes:

IDK why but I think Draco would have a hard time trusting Sirius, Regulus and Remus. So much so that he wouldn't believe them when they tell him Sev's alive.

Also, Draco went from "My father will hear about this." to "My father cannot hear about this." and I think that's beautiful lol.

Chapter 22: A Slytherin's Perspective

Notes:

I've been playing with this chapter for 2 days until I finally said "screw it." I wanted something more action packed but this I think this still contributes to the plot.

Getting Sirius out of Severus’s room was like dragging a stubborn Hippogriff by the tail. He hadn’t left his side all night, hadn’t spoken unless spoken to, and only agreed to sit at the kitchen table because Remus physically planted a mug of tea in front of him and told him to drink it .

Now, Sirius sat hunched over a bowl of fluorescent cereal, spoon clinking rhythmically. He wasn’t eating. Just… stirring.

“He should’ve woken up by now,” Sirius muttered, not looking up.

Regulus didn’t flinch. “He’s not supposed to. The spell knocks you out completely. No pain, no movement. It was meant to keep people unconscious during magical surgeries — if anesthetics failed.”

Sirius slammed his spoon down. “You could’ve told me that last night. I thought he was dying in his sleep.”

“I forgot,” Regulus said plainly, sipping his tea, “there was so much going on.”

Remus tensed. “Okay,” he said lightly, trying to thread the air with calm. “Let’s talk about next steps. We’ll revive him once the boys are up. No sense having them see the battle that’s about to transpire.”

“What next steps? ” Regulus asked, already wary.

Remus glanced between the brothers. “I need to return to Hogwarts tonight with Harry and Draco. We need to tell Dumbledore.”

“No.” Regulus’s voice was immediate, firm. “You can’t tell him I’m here.”

Sirius groaned. “Merlin, really?”

“I’m serious.”

“You think I’m not?”

Regulus stood, both palms pressed against the edge of the counter like he needed to physically hold himself back. “You don’t know what that man does to people he ‘protects,’ Sirius. I do. I’ve watched him string Severus along like a marionette — forcing him to make Unbreakable Vows, silencing him with oaths, putting him in impossible situations and calling it strategy. He’s been drowning Severus in guilt since we were kids to make sure Severus does as he is told!”

“You weren't even here,” Sirius snapped. “How the hell would you know anything?”

“Because he tells me, ” Regulus fired back, jaw clenched. “Believe it or not, Sirius, he and I talk. I have read every letter he’s sent and seen the exhaustion on every floo call we had. Because when your only contact with your past is someone who’s being dragged through it like a corpse on a chain, you start noticing things. ”

Remus set his cup down with a gentle thud. “Okay, that’s enough.”

Regulus turned on him. “Come on, Remus. You’ve been working there for what two—three years? You don’t see how he’s been treating Slytherins like ticking bombs? You don’t see how his choices are putting his students at risk, especially Harry?”

“He’s the reason Harry is still alive!” Sirius barked.

“He’s the reason Harry keeps nearly dying!” Regulus demanded. “He’s having a child fight a war! Harry should be learning to transfigure buttons or brew Pepper-Ups, not dodging killing curses!”

Remus stepped between them, not touching either but blocking the energy like a human shield. “You’re both right and both impossible,” he muttered.

There was a long, awful silence.

Regulus sank back into his chair, knuckles white around the tea cup. “I came back because Severus needed me. Not because I believe in your cause. Not because I want to pick a side. The last time I did that, I almost died. The only reason I didn’t was because I stopped playing the damn game.” He looked at Sirius, voice low. “Believe it or not, Siri, the ‘right’ side uses people just as ruthlessly as the wrong one.”

Sirius’s eyes softened, but only for a moment. “This isn’t a game. We need to keep Harry safe! I’ve already lost so much I can’t—”

“I know,” Regulus whispered. “But this isn’t keeping anyone safe.”

Remus rubbed his temples. “Regulus, the Order uses this house. People can apparate in unannounced. You can’t exactly hide in your bedroom every time someone shows up.”

“Then I’ll leave.”

“ No, ” Sirius said, loud enough that even Harry and Draco, who had just started down the stairs, paused. The words startled Sirius himself. “You’re not running again. I just got you back.”

“I didn’t ask to come here,” Regulus said, turning his back to the room.

“Sirius,” Remus said quietly, “he’s scared.”

“He’s not scared, he’s stubborn.” Sirius exclaimed. 

“Of course I’m scared!” Regulus exploded, spinning back toward them. “Remind me what happened last time? I was expected to go on a killing spree. Most of our friends are dead. My closest friend danced the line between monster and martyr every day. You were imprisoned for a murder you didn’t commit. And now you expect me to just… stand here and act like we’ve learned anything?”

His voice broke, but he kept going. “You keep saying you don’t want to lose me. Do you think I want to lose you? Do you think I want to see these kids — these actual children — branded or thrown into battle for a war they didn’t start?”

He looked between them. “We’re walking the same path again, Siri. And I’m terrified one of us won’t make it out.”

Sirius looked like he wanted to argue — it was instinct to want to prove his brother wrong. But whatever he saw in Regulus’s face knocked the wind out of him. For once, he said nothing.

Remus shifted, silent, unable to offer mediation at the raw honesty. 

A beat passed. Then two pairs of footsteps slowly resumed their descent.

Harry wandered into the room, yawning. Draco followed, posture rigid, eyes flitting between the adults. The tension was thick, but no one acknowledged it. It hovered like smoke after a fire, filling the silence.

“I don’t think Professor Dumbledore hates me.” Harry said quietly. All eyes turned to him as guilt churned in Regulus’ stomach. 

“No one hates you, Harry.” Regulus said softly. 

“Many of my housemates would disagree,” Draco muttered. Harry gave a faint smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Regulus glared at Draco, but softened as he turned back to Harry.

“Dumbledore doesn’t hate you. I don’t think he hates any of us,” he said, measured. “I just… worry he’ll prioritize winning the war over your safety. Over our safety. Sev and I — we want everyone to survive. Dumbledore wants to win.”

Harry didn’t answer, but his mind began to churn as he stirred his bowl of cereal, mirroring Sirius’s earlier distraction. Dumbledore had always been nice. Severus hadn’t. But it had always been Severus who saved him in the end.

His thoughts flicked back — to Severus murmuring a counter-curse under his breath during his first Quidditch match, stabilizing Harry when Quirrell tried to sabotage him. To the way Severus stepped in, wand already raised, when Draco summoned that snake in the dueling club. And to the Shrieking Shack — the memory sharp and strange — when Severus had rushed in, not knowing the truth, not knowing Harry was safe, only knowing he had to protect him.

And the werewolf. Merlin, the werewolf. Severus had put himself between them and a wolf that had almost killed him years earlier. 

Dumbledore hadn’t been there. Not once. He showed up after — to award points, to praise Harry’s bravery, to wrap danger in a bow of destiny. But he never shielded Harry. Never fought for him.

In fact, Harry thought bitterly, Dumbledore had created the circumstances for most of those attacks to happen at all.

Dumbledore was nice. But did he care the way these adults did? The way Severus did?

Harry’s spoon clattered against the bowl. He scanned across the table as all eyes fell on him. “Excuse me,” he croaked before leaving the table. 

Chapter 23: Shifting Alliances

Notes:

Just throwing in the next 2 chapters

Regulus shifted uneasily in his seat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“But you did,” Sirius cut in, voice sharp.

He pushed himself up, ready to comfort the child under his care but Remus stopped him. “Give him a minute to figure things out. He’s not used to so many adults in his life, Pads.” Sirius’ expression softened, the nickname having the desired effect. He sat back down, glaring at his younger brother, who looked away in guilt. An uneasy silence washed over them and Draco began to wish that he had been knocked unconscious too. 

Remus, picking up on his student’s discomfort, decided to change courses. “How are you doing, Draco?”

Draco looked up, grateful for the distraction. “I’m okay. How’s Severus?”

Remus nodded kindly. “He’s doing okay. We’ll wake him up soon.” 

The rest of breakfast was relatively uneventful. Remus tried to keep a conversation with Draco and the topic soon turned to Quidditch. Sirius joined in and the two cousins connected over their guesses for drafts for next season. 

After breakfast, Regulus excused himself to check on Severus and find Harry while the others began to clean up. When he entered the guest room, he was surprised to find Harry there, staring at the unconscious man.

“Harry,” The young boy jumped even at the soft tone. “I’m sorry for startling you,” Regulus said, “And I apologize for what you heard downstairs. I know it’s not my place, I’m not your guardian and you don’t even know me… I had no right to talk about your best interest.”

“Thank you for caring,” Harry whispered, “I haven’t had much of that until recently. It was only Hagrid, Remus and Sirius. It caught me off guard.”

“Of course, I care. You’re a child, Harry. You deserve to live like one. And, for the record, Severus cares too,” Regulus added. 

“Right, and Snape. I just never realized it. I thought he hated me. So I hated him back. But all this time... he kept saving me.” Harry looked away, the guilt over his treatment of his professor hitting him in waves, knocking him over.

“You know,” Regulus took a seat on the bed next to Severus. Harry joined him, Regulus’ openness inviting his curiosity. “Sev called me the day he met you in his potions class.” Regulus said.

“He did? Did he tell you what a disappointment I was?” Harry asked, but the joke fell flat. 

“No, he told me you were excited. You hung onto every word he said, writing it down. He hadn’t expected that from you. He thought you’d be more like your dad, “disruptive and rude”, but when he saw how much you resemble your mom, it surprised him.” Regulus recalled.

“So he was mean to me because I reminded him of mom?” Harry questioned. 

Regulus sighed. “Harry, do you know what role Sev played during the first war?” 

“I don’t know the details but, he started off as a death eater but became a spy for the Light side. It’s kinda an open secret in the Order.” Harry said. 

“Well, I’m the only one from the Dark side who knows this. Not even Lucius or Narccisa know. Can you imagine how much worse yesterday could have been if the Dark Lord knew that Severus actively worked against him and lost him the war? Sev would not be here right now.” Regulus gestured to the sleeping man behind him. 

Harry gulped, the idea of a worse outcome horrifying him. “I think I get it now. He had to pretend to hate me because he couldn’t have Draco or anyone else tip off the death eaters.” 

They sat in silence as Harry reflected on their past interactions. Severus was mean. He humiliated Harry and anyone brave enough to associate themself with him. He belittled Harry and his dad at every turn. But, Severus also disciplined him. Called him out on behaviors no one else at Hogwarts did. Discouraged him from pursuing danger and outright steppedin the line of fire. There was no danger Severus hadn’t faced for him. “Why didn’t I see it before? I was so focused on everything he said about me being a ‘brat’, about my dad. I didn’t see how he protected me. I was awful to him.”

“Well, that’s not your fault. He expected a ten-year-old to pick up on context and disregard everything he was actively saying. How are you supposed to know he cares if he said nothing but spiteful things?” Regulus asked.

“So he never meant anything he said?” Harry asked.

Regulus looked thoughtful, “I’m pretty sure he meant what he said about James.” Harry chuckled. “But he never hated you . Wanna know how I know that?” Regulus asked.

Harry nodded, curiosity overtaking him. “He complained about you when we talked. If Severus hates someone, he doesn’t talk about them. If he cares about them, he’s going to whine over their recklessness but step in to save them anyway.”

Harry made a thoughtful face, the wheels turning in his mind. “Kind of like how he saved Sirius from Bellatrix yesterday.”

Regulus grinned at the implication and the younger boy mirrored him. “Yeah,” Regulus said, “Exactly like that.”

“So are we on the same page?” Harry began.

“Oh, absolutely!” Regulus answered, mind already scheming with the young boy. They heard the thumping of footsteps, likely the other three men about to join them. “Let’s plan this out later,” Regulus gave a devious wink. They stood up at the sound of footsteps in the hall.

A moment later, Draco stepped into the room, a cup of water in hand, joining Harry and Regulus by Severus’ bed side. Sirius and Remus stood further away, unsure how welcome they would be after their last proper encounter. 

“Alright,” Regulus said, pulling out the wand. “Siri, what’s that spell? I’ve been wracking my brain since last night.” 

“I’ll do it,” Sirius said, taking a sharp breath.

“Okay, but put your wand back right after. Last thing he needs is to wake up with you pointing a wand at him.” Regulus said.

“Merlin, Reggie! I’m not going to hex him!” Sirius defended himself.

“I know that,” Regulus assured him. “He might not.” 

Sirius chose to ignore the part of him that agreed with Regulus and just recited the spell, pointing his wand at Severus’ chest. “Rennervate!” As soon as the red light shot out, Sirius put his wand back in his robes. Severus blinked slowly, brow furrowing as his eyes adjusted. He glanced around the room, taking in the eyes that were trained on him. 

“Draco?” Severus asked, voice hoarse. Draco sighed with relief, shoving the glass of water in Severus’ hand, helping him drink. “What happened?”

Notes:

One of my fav things about this fic is getting to explore unlikely character dynamics. Now that Reggie is a part of this, I can't get enough of him.

Chapter 24: A Measure of Trust

Draco launched himself into Severus’ arms, causing Severus to wince sharply at the sudden jolt of pain. Sirius immediately began running diagnostic spells. He paused, eyebrows shooting up when he caught the reading for Severus’ pain levels.

"Merlin, Snape, how are you not in tears with that much pain?" Sirius muttered. "Harry, grab a pain potion, quickly."

Harry nodded and darted out of the room.

"I am completely fine," Severus said through gritted teeth. He gently patted Draco’s back, noticing the boy trembling slightly against him. "Can someone please explain what happened, where I am, and why Draco appears ready to drown me?"

Draco pulled back hastily, scrubbing at his face in frustration. His cheeks were red, and he avoided everyone’s eyes.

"It’s my fault," Draco mumbled, voice rough. "I told Mother and Father you were in France. They came after you. They know Regulus is alive too." He looked down at the floor, face burning. He furiously wiped his eyes but the tears kept falling and his breath kept on getting shorter. 

Remus stepped forward and gently rested a hand on Draco’s shoulder. "Hey, come on. Let’s grab some water," he said quietly. "You can stay with Severus once you’ve calmed down."

Draco gave a quick, jerky nod and let Remus guide him out without another word.

Severus watched them leave, his brow furrowed, before turning to Regulus.

"You’re at Grimmauld Place," Regulus explained. "The Dark Lord used Sectumsempra on you after you defeated Bellatrix. You’ve been unconscious about twelve hours. We managed to heal the wounds—there’s some scarring, but it should fade with time."

"You remembered how to treat it?" Severus asked, eyebrows raised in mild surprise.

Regulus smirked. "Mostly. I couldn’t remember which herb we needed, but I had your old potions textbook. It was actually Draco that prepared the dittany."

At the mention of Draco, Severus’ expression softened imperceptibly.

Harry entered the room again, frantic. “Here’s the pain potion.”

Severus winced as he reached out to grab it, but Sirius plucked it instead. He uncorked the bottle and brought it to Severus’ lips. The glare Severus gave him snapped him back to reality. Instead of feeding it to him, he handed the bottle off to Severus. Harry and Regulus exchanged a glance, biting back smiles. Severus relaxed as soon as he finished the last gulp. The potion soothed him immediately. 

“Why was Draco crying?” Severus asked, instantly.

“He’s just worried,” Regulus said, “He saw you when we came in and thought you didn’t make it. Remus said he didn’t completely believe us until he saw you after we cleaned you up.”

Severus nodded, making a mental note to talk to Draco once they were back at Hogwarts. “Well, thank you for healing me but I should take my leave,” Then, attempting to sit up, he pushed off the bed. “I think I’ll enjoy the rest of my days off at Spinner's End.”

"Yeah, no. Sit down." Sirius pushed him back with a firm hand. "Voldemort’s looking for you. You think you're just going to waltz off to Spinner’s End and everything’s fine?"

"I’m perfectly capable—" Severus began.

"You’re barely capable of sitting up without passing out," Sirius snapped. "Grimmauld Place is a safe house. You’re staying put."

"I’m not an Order member," Severus bit out.

"Yeah, and I’m not Harry’s godfather," Sirius said sarcastically. Harry snickered behind his hand while Regulus smiled faintly at the two bickering men. “You don’t trust me, that’s fine. Regulus can help you. He’s staying back too. But you aren’t going somewhere if it’s not safe. Heal while you’re on vacation, go back to Hogwarts and you and Draco can come back for winter break.”

“Thank you for planning out my year,” Severus said sarcastically. 

Finally, Regulus decided to intervene, knowing when the argument would escalate. “We can decide about winter break later. Sev, just stay back for now. You have what…three days left? We were going to spend them together anyway. Might as well hang out here. Get settled in. Now that you’re awake, I’m going to get our stuff from France. Just make sure you eat, I’ll be back with more clothes for you.” Severus, clearly realizing he was outnumbered, settled back against the pillows with a grumble. 

“Please have Draco come in if he has calmed down.” Severus requested as the three men left the room, leaving Severus to rest.

“If you’re going back there, take Remus with you.” Sirius told Regulus as they entered the living room. 

“Why? I don’t need babysitting!” Regulus challenged.  

“Just to be safe, so they don’t find you and try to kill you again. If something happens, Remus can get back up. I’d come instead but we both know that if I go, we’ll end up hexing each other.” replied Sirius.

“You’re being ridiculous. I’m not taking Remus with me.” Regulus decided.

---

Regulus and Remus flooed into Regulus’ cottage. Regulus felt the wards tingle at the unfamiliar presence but he opened them up, asking the house to trust Remus.

“I’m sorry you got stuck watching me. Siri can be stubborn.” Reglus said as he climbed out of the fireplace. 

Remus shrugged. “I don’t mind. This is probably better than mediating between Sirius and Snape.”

“Oh, shit! You’re right! Do you think we’ll have a house to go back to?” Regulus asked. Remus chuckled in response. “Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll make some tea so you don’t get bored.” 

“You don’t need to be so formal, Regulus. I can help. Just tell me what to start grabbing.” Remus offered.

Regulus nodded. “I’ll show you to Sev’s room. I made him change a few times so you might need to gather some of his stuff. After that, maybe you can wind up the fridge—Merlin knows I don’t want to survive on Sirius’ stash of junk food.”

"You and Snape stayed in separate rooms?" Remus asked, then immediately looked like he regretted it.

Regulus blinked at him, confused, then snorted as realization hit. "Oh! No—Merlin, no. Practically incestuous. Why would you even think—?"

Remus flushed slightly. "You seem close. Closer than anyone else with him."

"We’re friends," Regulus said simply. "Like you and Sirius. Unless there’s something there I should know about?"

Remus choked on a laugh. "Definitely not. Sirius keeps trying to set me up with Andromeda’s daughter, for Merlin’s sake."

Regulus laughed. "Pretty sure Sev taught her at some point. Knock some sense into my brother, would you?"

"Oh, I don’t think he knew that! That will definitely help get him off my back." Remus said.

They worked in companionable silence for a while, music drifting faintly through the house.

Two hours later, almost everything was packed. The men decided to take a break and made some scrambled eggs on toast. “Wait, does Siri think Sev and I are dating too?” Regulus found himself asking.

“I don’t know. He never said anything… why?” Remus replied, swallowing a bite of toast.

"Just... Harry pointed out that Sev nearly threw himself in front of a Killing Curse for Siri. And Sirius kind of freaked out like he couldn’t survive if Sev died."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "“You don’t think they’re harboring feelings from over twenty years ago, do you?” 

"Maybe not consciously," Regulus said. "But it’s possible. Sure it was twenty years ago but they just found out about it."

Remus shook his head with a laugh. "You’re a closet hopeless romantic, Regulus Black."

“Come on,” Regulus said, “It’s not that hopeless. And it might get them to stop fighting.” 

“That’s true,” Remus agreed, “You know what, I’m in.”

They continued their easy banter as they finished their meal and cleaned the dishes, when the doorbell rang. Both men froze, fear and dread instantly filling the room. 

"I’ll get it," Regulus whispered. "Cover me."

Wand still gripped tightly, Remus shifted to the side as Regulus cracked the door open cautiously.

A breath of relief escaped Regulus. "Beau!" he said, pulling the visitor into a quick hug and cheek kiss.

Remus didn’t lower his wand immediately. He watched—measured—the man standing in the doorway. Tall, unfairly handsome, dark-haired with sharp amber eyes that flickered with amusement as he returned the hug. A little too at ease, Remus thought grimly. Remus slipped his wand away, though he stayed close, his posture still guarded.

Beau’s attention shifted, noticing him. He offered a hand with a charming smile. "And you are?"

"Remus Lupin," he answered simply, taking Beau’s hand and trying to return the easy smile.

Regulus waved between them. "Beau’s my neighbor. Been friends for years. He's the only other person under 60 in this area." His tone was light, casual, but it didn’t ease the tight coil in Remus' chest.

Beau chuckled, giving Regulus a lingering look that Remus didn’t miss. "Someone had to keep you out of trouble."

After a few more words exchanged, Beau promised to catch up once Regulus returned from visiting family. His hand brushed lightly over Regulus’ arm before he left.

Regulus didn’t seem to notice. Remus did. Regulus was never touchy feely, not with Severus nor with his own brother so this dynamic with Beau threw Remus off. Remus watched the door a moment longer, something uneasy coiling low in his stomach. 

When the door shut, Remus gave a smile, attempting to not betray his real emotions. "Now I see why you didn’t want to leave this place," he said.

Regulus just laughed, but didn’t deny the accusation. They headed back to tidy up. 

Regulus shrunk the luggage, fitting everything into his hand and then his eyes fell on the coffee table. “Remus, can you grab that book for me? I think we’ll need it.” Remus took the book in his hands and the men headed back to Grimmauld place, unsure about the chaos that awaited them.

Notes:

IDK where I'm going with Beau.... Let's see

Chapter 25: The Promise of Forgiveness

Notes:

Hi everyone! Sorry for dropping the ball on this fic, I had major writers block with this story and I couldn't figure what to do. Then I had anxiety about the writers block. But this weekend, I just decided just write and go in whatever direction it takes. I got a few chapters out of it that are not my favorite but I think it'll lead us to something good.

Harry and Sirius sat in the living room in relative silence, taking a moment to process the day they had. Harry sunk back on the sofa, closing his eyes and replaying yesterday’s battle in his head. One vision stuck him hard until his eyes snapped open. He looked over, relaxing when he saw his godfather beside him.

“Sirius?” Harry asked.

“Hmm?” the older man replied, absentmindedly.

“She cast the killing curse,” Harry said, voice shaky.

Sirius turned to him immediately. “I’m here,” he said, reaching for Harry’s hand. “I’m not leaving again.”

Harry clutched his hand tighter. “Do you think Regulus was right? If Dumbledore had just listened, you wouldn’t have been in that fight. And Snape wouldn’t…” He nodded toward the room where Severus was resting.

Sirius let go and ran a hand through his hair, taking a long breath before answering. “Harry, Dumbledore’s motives don’t change the fact that we’re in a war. One side wants you dead. The other—shady or not—is keeping you alive. Regulus had the luxury of walking away. We don’t.”

Harry nodded slowly. Sirius was right. Dumbledore might not always act in their best interest, but between him and Voldemort, the choice was obvious. It occurred to Harry, with quiet unease, how easily someone could choose the wrong side under the illusion of protection and the fear of death. Maybe Snape had once made that choice. 

“Huh,” he said aloud.

“What?”

“Do you think Snape felt that way when he joined the Death Eaters?”

“What? No, I mean—” Sirius froze. His eyes widened, realization hitting him all at once. “He thought we were trying to kill him. He thought I wanted him dead.” Sirius exhaled shakily. “Oh, Prongs. What did you do?”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Harry retracted. 

Sirius shook his head. “No, I’m glad you did. We’ve been calling it a ‘prank’ for too long. In reality, he almost died and none of us cared until now. We messed up, not just James.”

“Do you hate him?” Harry echoed the question he had asked a few weeks ago.

“I don’t know.” Sirius leaned back, eyes distant. “James did something terrible. But he also saved me—took me in when I had nowhere else to go. He’s the reason I survived that year. I can’t reconcile how someone who saved me at my lowest also nearly took a life. It’s… too much.”

“Did Mum love him?” Harry asked, cautiously peeling back a question he was still too scared to explore.

“She did,” Sirius said without hesitation.

“Why?”

Sirius frowned. “What do you mean?”

Harry shrugged. “Snape was her friend. How do you fall for someone who treated your friend like that? Would you ever date someone who treated Remus like shit?”

“I have no idea why Lily said yes to James. She turned him down for years, then one day it just... changed. We didn’t question it. We were young and stupid. We just believed James deserved it.”

Silence settled again until Sirius stirred. “Would it be weird if I checked on him?”

Harry raised an eyebrow, then smiled as he saw Sirius’ gaze fixed on the hallway.

“No,” he said. “Not weird at all.”

Sirius rose without another word.

Sirius paused outside the closed bedroom door, unsure if he should just walk in. He heard murmured voices—Draco and Severus. Needing an excuse, he conjured a tray with tea and biscuits, then knocked.

“Come in,” he heard Severus say. 

“Hope I’m not interrupting,“ Sirius said, “I just thought you might like to eat something.”

“Not at all!” Draco replied. 

“Hey,” Sirius said, setting the tray down. “Thanks for saving me yesterday. With Bella.”

Severus shook his head. “Consider it repayment for fifth year.”

Those words made Sirius’ stomach sink. Was it just repaying a debt? When Padfoot had jumped in with Moony, it had been out of love, out of the desperate need to protect someone he cared about. Was Severus’ rescue just out of obligation? 

“You never owed me anything for that.” Sirius said, his voice tight. “‘I did it because I cared.” 

Severus looked away. “Right. Well, thank you for the tea. And for allowing me recover here.”

Clearly a dismissal. Sirius ignored it and took the seat across from him, pouring tea.

Draco, sensing the tension, stood. “Harry and I should finish that Herbology essay.”

Severus sighed as Draco shut the door. “I don’t need to be looked after like a child, Black.” 

“I don’t drink tea with children, Snape.” Sirius took a deep breath, promising himself that he would avoid a fight at all costs. He passed the cup and the other man took it begrudgingly. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Seeing you with all that blood…” Sirius shook his head. “I was worried.” 

Severus scoffed, looking away. 

“I’m sorry for what I said to you at the Astronomy tower. It wasn’t right for me to expect you to give James an out. He was cruel to you. We all were.” 

“If you believe for one second that this apology can make up for years of torment, you are sorely mistaken.” Severus replied, straightening up.

“Of course not! I don’t think this apology makes up for anything. This is just a way for me to tell you that I intend on making it up to you. I will do what I can to earn back your trust and that starts today.” Sirius declared.

“How do you know you’ll be successful?” Severus asked. 

“Because I was before. The letters we wrote…” A brief flash of recognition passed Severus’ face before it became passive once more. Sirius smiled. “You remember them, too. They are proof that you trusted me once, cared about me.”

“And look where that got me,” Severus replied bitterly.

“It won’t happen again.” Sirius said. The words came out like a promise, like a vow. “Okay, you don’t trust me now. I get it but I’ll do everything I can to show you that I mean my apology.” 

“Is there anything else I can help you with, Black?” Severus replied, not ready to consider the honesty behind those words.

“Actually, yeah. You know Dumbledore best. Regulus is staying here, but he doesn’t want the Headmaster to find out. Remus, Harry, and Draco are heading back tonight. Dumbledore’s bound to ask questions. And how do we keep holding Order meetings here without exposing Reggie?”

“Have Lupin say he caught the boys sneaking out and gave them detention.”

“Remus doesn’t give detention.”

“That explains a lot,” Severus muttered. “Well, he can lie this once. As for the Order—next meeting’s over winter break.

“Draco told me he was considering your offer to let him stay here, though I’m unsure how genuine your offer is.” Severus concluded.

“It might have been an impulsive offer but it wasn’t insincere. I’ve been down his path, fighting our own deranged family. Hell, my own cousin used the killing curse on me and I don’t trust her to not use it on Draco. He can stay and I’ll keep him safe.”

Severus swallowed a bite of the biscuit. “Then tell the Order he’s living with you. They won’t talk freely with Draco around, considering his…lineage. We can move the next few meetings to Hogwarts, then figure out something long-term.”

Sirius blinked. “That’s... genius. Snape, you’re a genius.”

Severus arched his brow.

“One more thing,” Sirius said, “Draco’s still tense around me and Harry. Would you mind staying, just to help him settle in?”

“That’s a terrible excuse, Black. No wonder you weren’t in Slytherin.”

“Okay, fine. Gryffindor move—if you don’t come here over the holidays, I’ll come to Spinner’s End. Reggie can handle Harry and Draco. But if Bella finds me again… she might hit the target next time?”

“You’re insufferable,” Severus muttered, though the bite was gone. Sirius smiled, knowing he had won, not just the argument but a little bit of Severus’ trust. 

Chapter 26: Practiced Defenses

Severus was back at Hogwarts three days later, grateful that he was no longer in earshot of Sirius and Regulus’ arguments. The two brothers bickered on everything, from what to do about the Order to what to have for dinner, until Severus reminded them that they could both make their own meals. After that, the argument turned to who’s meal Severus would eat. 

He was also glad that Sirius could no longer hover like a mother hen. It had been unsettling—seeing Black soft-spoken, attentive. He briefly wondered if that’s what they had been like when they had first gotten together. Did Sirius make sure he ate? Did he force him to take breaks when Severus was working too much? Severus briefly considered asking Regulus for that potion recipe before burying that thought with the rest of his past. It was no use, aching for what could never be. 

Dumbledore, to Severus' surprise, didn’t press. Just polite questions and a request to resume Occlumency lessons with Harry. Severus agreed, though he made a point of looking put-upon. In truth, Severus had seen Harry during their time at Grimmauld Place. His demeanor was calmer, more collected than usual. Harry had been practicing the meditation exercises. 

The next morning, there was a knock at his door, two minutes before the lesson was supposed to start. Severus opened the door to a nervous looking Harry. 

“Ready?” The older man asked. Harry nodded. “Legilimans.”

Severus saw a brief flash of his own body covered in blood, surrounded by Remus, Sirius and Regulus. Harry pushed the image out of his mind and conjured up different memories. Severus saw a glimpse of his chat with Draco in the library. 

Harry pushed his feelings to the forefront, the guilt and shame almost overwhelmed Severus. Amidst the dark emotions, a flicker glowed in the form of resolve. And then a sense of calm washed over him. A soothing voice from his mindfulness tapes echoed.

Severus snapped back to reality. “You have been practicing.”

“I have,” Harry promised. “I’ve been doing mindfulness before going to bed and right after I wake up. I can also keep him out of my mind, except when I saw you and Regulus. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t stop it.” Harry explained. 

“We’ll need more practice. The first image I saw, of me after the curse, I am assuming you did not mean to show me that.” Severus asked. Harry nodded.

“Alright, we can work on that next. Today, I told you when I was going to enter your mind. With the Dark Lord, you will not have time to prepare. You need to start recognizing the gentle nudges before they go too far inside.” Severus explained. 

“How do I do that?” Harry asked. 

“Practice and observation. The mindfulness tapes asked you to reflect inward, recognize the sensations your body experiences. I will use Legilimency. Instead of trying to block the attack, focus on what the attack feels like. Take note of the symptoms before your mind is invaded.” Severus explained, raising his wand.

“What does it feel like for you? Just so I know what to look out for.” 

Severus lowered his wand and nodded. “I feel some probing, almost as if someone is poking me but from the inside. That is my clue to start occluding.” 

“Okay, probing,” Harry repeated, bracing himself for the attack.

Severus muttered the spell, the word and the wand movement deliberately slower. A vision of Bellatrix throwing the killing curse flew into his mind. Severus stopped.

They continued the lesson until Harry was able to recognize the signs when Severus performed the spell without warning. Each time the spell was cast, Severus would get a glimpse of that night: Draco and Harry flooing in, Regulus chanting Vulnera Sanentur, the argument between Regulus and Sirius or Harry rushing into Sirius’ arms when Severus rescued him.

“I believe that’s enough for now,” Severus said when Harry was gasping for air. “Next lesson, we will work on your response time so the attacker cannot see your first thought.” Harry nodded in agreement, ready to end the lesson.

“Potter,” Severus’ voice stopped him before he could reach the door. “Have you been having nightmares about the museum?” 

Harry nodded, “Pretty much every night. The dreamless sleep Sirius made us take helped the night you were healing but other than that, they’ve been coming back.”

“I see,” Severus nodded, “I have developed a dreamless sleep recipe that is not addictive, though it does not taste nearly as good either. If you prefer, I can brew you some by tomorrow.” 

Harry nodded enthusiastically. “I think that will help.”

“In that case, you may pick it up from me after our potions class.” Severus directed. The older man sat back in the chair. Harry observed in concern. It was evident that Severus hadn’t returned to his former strength. “Professor Snape?”

Severus glanced up, looking uninterested but motioned for Harry to continue. “I’m sorry for everything. You were right. I made a snap judgement about you and spent years trying to prove it. I just – it always felt like you hated me. And then I saw how you were with dad, with Remus and Sirius and I thought it was because of them.” 

Severus gestured for Harry to take a seat. He took a deep breath, hoping to collect his thoughts before saying, “Potter, I do not hate you and I never have. When you did that ritual, you witnessed what happens when the young, charismatic boy doesn’t experience any consequences. It can ruin lives. I was simply trying to keep you from that same fate.”

Harry nodded so Severus continued. “Your father was the golden boy of the school, but you, you are the golden boy of the entire Wizarding World. You have been granted freedoms any child—and even many adults—cannot be trusted with. Someone has to make sure that the privileges you have been given are not being abused. I will play the part of the terrible professor if it means you and the people around you are safe.” 

“Can I ask you something?” Harry said, feeling uncomfortable but knowing that Severus was the only person who would tell him the truth. 

Severus nodded, gesturing for Harry to continue. “Do you think – I mean everyone always says that I’m just like dad. Do you think –” Harry trailed off. 

“No,” Severus said with conviction. “No, because unlike James, you know what he did was wrong. While he cast that spell, you were horrified by the idea. You felt regret where he felt pride. You will not turn into James Potter. My hope is that you will turn into a better man.”

Harry sighed with relief, “Thank you. After a childhood with Dudley, the idea of becoming just like them is truly awful.” 

“And that,” Severus said, “is why you are not your father.”

Silence.

“It has come to my attention,” Severus spoke up once more, trying to take Regulus’ advice. “That you have not had many adults in your life prioritize your safety and well-being.” 

Harry glanced up, unable to reply. Severus continued. “ I know, from my own experiences, that it’s easier to take care of a situation. To not trust others– to not trust adults to look out for you. But you must understand that I will be there to keep you safe. And you cannot fight me on that front.” 

“I trust you now,” Harry rasped, much to Severus’ surprise. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“I accept your apology. And I apologize for not having this conversation with you sooner.” Severus replied.

Harry fidgeted, working up the courage to ask the next question. “And you and Sirius…”

“Black and I are Order members and Black is the guardian of one of my students.” Severus replied sternly.

“I see,” Harry said carefully. “I just thought you should know—he transfigured a mattress in your room. Slept on the floor. Just to keep watch.”

Severus’ eyes narrowed. “Goodbye, Potter.”

Harry smiled, slipping out and gently closing the door behind him.

Severus didn’t move. His eyes lingered on the empty chair across from him. 

Chapter 27: Back to Order

The end of term was hectic, not because of Voldemort or the Order but because of the piling papers Severus had not graded. Tired and frustrated, Severus recruited Regulus’ help in grading. Two weeks later, the day classes ended and the students left, he found himself getting annoyed at an Order meeting, which was now taking place in his potions classroom. 

“How was France?” Molly asked him politely. 

“Eventful,” Severus responded dryly, before taking his seat. Much to his surprise, he was joined by Sirius just moments later. “Do you not think we’ll have enough of each other at your home, Black” Severus asked. 

“Not nearly enough.” Sirius replied, a boyish grin spreading across his face. Severus turned his attention back to the parchment, marking all the mistakes in Fred’s essay.

Soon enough, the meeting started; Dumbledore recapped the agenda of the previous meeting, where Remus had begun searching for Dark Creatures to recruit and everyone involved with the ministry had kept their ears open for any news of suspicious activity.

The topic turned to new assignments. Where Sirius was asked to be vigilant of Draco. He bit back his anger and half-heartedly agreed. “And Severus,” all eyes turned to him, “Have you received any updates about Voldemort?”

“Lucius and Narcissa attempted to recruit me in France, though I declined.” Severus said. Sirius felt his fingers clench, wanting to grasp Severus’ hand.

“I see,” Dumbledore said, gravely. “Was it just Lucius and Narcissa or was the Dark Lord there as well.”

Severus shook his head. “No, had the Dark Lord been there, I wouldn’t have been allowed to return.” Sirius tensed, gripping the edge of his seat, head spinning with what ifs.

“Perhaps you should let them know you are reconsidering. We may require a spy again.” Dumbledore said, though it sounded more like a demand. Severus nodded as the older man moved onto the Wesleys. 

“Tell him what really happened!” Sirius hissed. 

Severus turned to him, face stoic. “I cannot do that without revealing that Potter’s visions were real,” Severus responded.

“So?” Sirius demanded, “Atleast you won’t have to spy again.”

“If Harry’s vision is proven to be real, it will give away everything about your guest from France. We don’t want that now, do we?” Severus questioned. 

“Oh,” Severus turned back to the larger conversation as Sirius kept his wheel turning, still unsettled by Dumbledore’s request.

Notes:

This is the end of my weekend long writing fuel. I have a better idea for the next few chapters so they should be up a lot quicker that how long these took.

Chapter 28: Collateral

Notes:

Yay! I'm back! I started my job full time today and spent most of it writing this. No regrets.

After the meeting, Sirius followed Severus to his living quarters, wanting to finish the argument before returning. Severus was gathering his last minute supplies, including a couple of potions recipes he was modifying. Sirius was quick to make room for a potions lab at Grimuald place as an attempt to bribe Severus into staying over break.

”You can’t be serious, Snape! The man nearly killed you! You just want to waltz back in there?” Sirius demanded.

“I have it all planned out,” Severus said coolly, not looking up from the stack of parchments he was rolling up. “Unlike you, I do not charge into danger without forethought.”

“Oh, really? And what’s this brilliant plan of yours?” Sirius snapped, grabbing Severus’ shoulder and forcing him to face the concerned man.

“I’ll offer to spy again — on one condition. That Regulus is left out of it.” Severus folded his arms. “I’ll position it as a negotiation. My loyalty in exchange for his freedom.”

Sirius stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You think Reggie wants you to risk your life for him?”

“This isn’t just about Regulus.” Severus’ voice lowered, shrugging out of Sirius’ grasp. “The Order needs a spy. I need protection. I can make myself... an asset.”

“An asset? Do you fucking hear yourself? You’re a person, not an investment property.” Sirius demanded. 

“Unfortunately, neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort see it that way.” Severus finished stuffing the parchment into his bag and shrank the rest of his luggage. 

“Yeah, but I do!” Sirius yelled. The stunned silence hung between them, leaving both men speechless. When Severus didn’t reply, Sirius shook his head, defeated. “Meet me back at the house.” He apparated away. 

Severus sighed but followed suit, knowing the argument would cease once they were at risk of Harry or Draco overhearing them. 

The two men popped into the living room, where Regulus had been drinking tea. “Where are Harry and Draco?” Sirius asked. Severus took a seat next to his friend.

“Harry’s with Ron and Hermione today. Draco’s in the library.” Regulus said.

“Why didn’t Draco go too?” Sirius poured himself a cup from the bright tea pot, taking a sip. “You steep the tea for too long.” Sirius grimaced. 

Regulus took a sip from his own cup, not willing to start an argument over this and Severus came to the rescue.

“Weasley isn’t exactly fond of Draco.” Severus said.

“Why not?” Sirius found himself asking, “I thought Draco had made amends?”

“It is my understanding that Weasley is not happy about Draco’s budding, ah– friendship with Granger, and now H– Potter. “ Severus explained as Regulus handed him another cup.

Sirius whistled, “Snape, I didn’t know you were so attuned to student drama.” 

Severus shook his head, “Not by choice, I can assure you that. Draco has been coming to me with complaints he cannot take to his father.”

“And does he like Hermione?” Regulus asked.

“Not romantically, no. At least to my understanding. Weasley is acting out of utter insecurity.” Severus said.

“Huh…” Sirius contemplated. “Were we this irrational at their age?”

Regulus scoffed, “You lot were way worse. Atleast no one in this situation is erasing memories.” It was meant to be a joke but the words couldn’t carry the humor. The lightness gave way to the tension as an awkward silence hung thick in the air.

Sirius was the first to recover and smartly changed the subject. “Remus is coming over for dinner,” he announced.

“Oh Merlin, are you going to feed him the junk you call food? I’ll make extra just in case he prefers to eat like an adult.” Regulus said.

“Not this again,” Severus groaned. “I’ll start unpacking my belongings in the potions lab.” Severus stood up, making his way to where Sirius had told him the space would be set up.

Sirius quickly chased after him. “Snape,” he called out. When Severus turned, Sirius lowered his voice. “You know I have to tell Reggie about today.”

“You will do no such thing, Black!” Severus hissed out. “Regulus does not want to be involved and it will stay that way.”

“I wasn’t asking for permission.” Sirius said, turning on his heel to return to his brother.

Severus barely stocked the first shelf of potions ingredients when a loud, “SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE” boomed through the house. Severus turned around preparing himself as an angry Regulus marched into the lab, Sirius following him with a smile like he was about to win a prize.

“Why did Sirius just tell me you are planning on going to the Dark Lord to negotiate my freedom for yours?” Regulus asked. 

Severus raised his hands in a non threatening gesture, “I’m not joining him again, Regulus. Albus needs a spy and…”

Regulus cut him off, “and the Dark Lord used the Laceration Curse less than three weeks ago! You think he’s not going to hit you with the Crusiatus or even the Killing Curse the next time you see him?”

“I can get Lucius and Narcissa’s protection!” Severus insisted.

“How?” Regulus demanded. 

“They are concerned about Draco being missing. They’ve already asked to look for him. I’ll agree to help.” Severus said.

“You want to use Draco for bait?” Sirius asked, horrified.

Both men turned to glare at him, like that was the stupidest thing he’d ever said. 

“Of course not! I’d be planting breadcrumbs away from Draco.”Severus turned to Regulus “This way I can protect you both.”

“And who’s going to protect you?” Sirius demanded. 

“I don’t need protection.” Severus said. A flash of anger crossed on both brother’s faces and Severus faintly thought he could see the family resemblance. 

“The fuck you don’t!” Sirius snarled. 

“You could have died last time! If it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t have come out of that museum.” Regulus added.

“So now you two stop fighting each other.” Severus glared.

Sirius and Regulus exchanged a glance. “Your plan is so stupid, it got me and Regulus on the same page.” Sirius said. 

“Well, I suppose miracles do happen.” Severus said, dryly.

“Stop changing the subject, Sev.” Regulus demanded. “We don’t want you doing this if it means you’ll be unprotected and vulnerable.”

“Lucius or Narcissa are not a source of protection,” Sirius said, sternly. “They would have no problem turning against Draco– and you– if they found the truth.”

“Neither is the Order,” Regulus added, “Most people don’t know the whole story and I don’t trust Dumbledore after last time.”

The three men paused as Severus pondered the words. “Alright,” he relented. “I’ll figure out a way to keep myself safe. I’ll talk to Albus and tell him I do not wish to do this if it means compromising my safety.” 

Another silence passed over them as Regulus began to calm down. “Well, alright then.”

“But…” Severus added, “You cannot discuss this in front of any of the children. Neither Draco nor Harry should find out.” 

A small smile appeared on Sirius’ face. “So, it’s Harry now? Not Potter?” 

Severus glared and Regulus bit back a smile of his own. It had been a recent development. Harry no longer wanted to be associated with James in Severus’ eyes so he had requested that the professor use his first name during the privacy of their occlumency lessons. “Yes, it is. Now can you promise you won’t bring it up in front of them?”

Unbeknownst to them, Draco stood outside, shaken by this new danger headed their way.

Chapter 29: Safety in Sacrifice

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Sirius and Regulus helped Severus set the lab up and they did so with minimal damage to the equipment. Sirius wasn’t as lucky, getting multiple hexes from an annoyed Regulus. 

Harry returned exhausted from an amazing day out. As promised, Remus joined them for dinner and on Sirius’ insistence, decided to stay the night. They made plans to modify the house to accommodate everyone the following day, in the meantime, beds were transfigured to make sure everyone had a place to sleep. 

Long after everyone had gone to bed, Draco awoke, tiptoeing around to collect his belongings. The conversation he had heard had him distraught. He refused to let Severus get hurt because of him. After packing, Draco opened his window, planning on using his broom to get to Malfoy Manor. Perhaps he could say that he was with Theodore or Pansy and his owl got lost. 

“Draco?” Harry asked sleepily. “Where are you going?” He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to see clearly. The sight of the suitcases alarmed Harry. “Why do you have all of your stuff packed?”

“I’m going back home.” Draco whispered.

Harry shot up. “What?” he exclaimed. 

“Shhh!” Draco said, bringing his finger to his lips. “You’re going to wake them.”

“I don’t care!” Harry hissed out. “You’re not leaving!”

“Watch me, Potter!” Draco said, grabbing his bags and walking toward their window.

Harry reached for his wand. “Stupefy!” he called. Draco blocked the spell instantly, dropping his bags and disarming Harry in one swift motion. Harry’s back hit the bed as his eyes widened in shock.

Suddenly, the lights flicked on as the four adults burst in. “What’s going on here?” Sirius asked.

“Draco’s trying to leave!” Harry said urgently, rising to his feet. 

Severus shifted his unimpressed gaze to Draco. “Is that right?” he asked.

“Yes– but…” Draco started.

“And where exactly do you plan to go?” Severus asked, just as dryly.

“Back to Malfoy Manor.” 

Severus’ face hardened. “You will do no such thing. Now hand me your wand.” Severus extended his hand. 

Sirius stepped forward, likely to intervene at Severus’ harsh actions but Regulus and Remus both stopped him. Instead, he folded his arms, jaw clenched. The sight of the boy giving up his wand—it stirred memories he thought he had long forgotten, of the night he had fled to James’ house. “He’s not mother,” Regulus whispered, knowing exactly where his brother’s mind had wandered to.

“But I–” Draco tried again.

“Wand, Draco.” Severus said, slightly louder, causing everyone in the room to flinch. This time Draco placed it into his godfather’s hand without a fight. He started at the ground, embarrassment and humiliation filling his features. “And the broom.” Again, Draco handed it over.

“Now, we can chat in the living room while Harry gets some sleep.” Severus gave Harry a pointed look. Then he turned back to Draco. “You have two minutes to place your belongings back and meet me there.” His robes flared dramatically as he turned around, the rest of the adults following him out.

Before leaving, Remus patted Harry on the shoulder. “Get some sleep. I promise he’ll be here when you wake up.” Harry nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. 

“Wasn’t that a little harsh? Confiscating his wand?” Sirius asked gently as they walked downstairs. Remus and Regulus exchanged a nervous glance, praying this wouldn’t turn into an argument. 

“No. Both boys were clearly prepared for a duel. It would have been impossible trying to talk him down if all he was thinking about was escaping. Now that he is not a flight risk, we can have a conversation.” Severus said.

All eyes turned to Draco as he made it down the stairs, looking utterly embarrassed and defeated. “Look,” he said, “Just let me go back. It will be a lot easier…”

“I do not care about easy.” Severus said. “I care about safety.”

“You don’t!” Draco exclaimed. “Not about your own safety!” The four adults reeled back in surprise at the young boy’s outburst. Draco looked around the room again, feeling the judgement from all the eyes. 

Remus, sensing the young boy’s discomfort, stood first. “I think Regulus and Severus can handle this. Let’s check on Harry.” Sirius took the hint, following Remus out of the room. 

“Can you tell me what that was about?” Severus asked, voice more gentle this time.

“I heard you. I heard that you were going back to them. To protect me and Regulus. I’m the reason Regulus was caught. I told them where you were.” Draco said.

Regulus reached out, patting Draco on the shoulder. “That wasn’t your fault. You didn’t even know I was alive. No one blames you.”

“Regulus is right,” Severus said. “If telling someone about my vacation plans is a crime, I’m just as much to blame. After all, I told you, I told Albus, Minerva, everybody.”

“I just don’t want you to risk your life for me. Last time–” Draco choked on a sob. “Last time, there was so much blood. What if– What if?”

“What if I die this time?” The air seemed to grow colder as Severus voiced the question plaguing all of their hearts. Draco nodded as a single tear rolled down his face. 

“You seem to forget, Draco, that I am a slytherin.” Severus said. “I was born with cunningness and strong self-preservation skills, something you seem to be lacking at this point. Whether you return or not, I have to go back to the Dark Lord. Albus demands it. Now you can go back and place both of us in danger or you stay here and I can leverage your absence as a reason for them to keep me alive. Lucius and Narcissa know that if they want to reach you, they need me on their side. They will not risk losing you by allowing me to die.”

Draco swallowed the lump in his throat. “Alright,” he whispered.

“Now, will you make sure I stay safe by going upstairs and getting some sleep?” Draco smiled weakly but nodded. 

“Can I have my wand back?” Draco asked. 

Severus shook his head. “I will be keeping this until you can be trusted.” Draco scowled but knew there was no point in arguing. He sulked up the stairs and disappeared into his room. 

“A runaway on the first day. I’d assumed it would be Harry,” Severus said dryly. “This is going to be difficult.”

“Yeah,” Regulus agreed, “But I think we’ll have some help.” He nodded to the staircase where Remus and Sirius were walking down from. 

Severus nodded in agreement. He was always a loner, either by force or by choice. Now he had people to rely on, people who relied on him and he was terrified of letting them down the way he had let Lily down.

Chapter 30: Everything's fair

Sirius and Remus sat across from them, still too shocked to go back to bed. 

“Is Harry alright?” Regulus asked. 

Remus nodded. “A little concerned but it’s nothing he and Draco haven’t done before.”

A small smile appeared on Severus’ lips. “At least no one conjured a snake this time.”

“When did that—?” Regulus began.

“Their second year,” Severus replied immediately. “It was Draco, of course, during the dueling club.”

A comfortable silence passed until Sirius spoke up. “When are you giving Draco his wand and broom back?”

“Siri,” Regulus began, ready to play the peacemaker again. He’d hoped to talk to Sirius in private, to help him through whatever flashback he was reliving, but Sirius was nothing if not quick to act.

“No,” Sirius said sternly, shutting Regulus down.

“I’ll give it to him when he can be trusted not to misuse magic. Or endanger himself and others.” Severus said.

“You shouldn’t have taken it,” Sirius replied. His gaze turned distant as he drifted into the past.

Severus glanced at Regulus, who mirrored Remus’ concern. “Sirius,” Remus said gently, “this is different.”

Severus swallowed the retort building in his throat, sensing the tension in the air, and on everyone’s faces. “May I ask why you find my actions so concerning?” Severus asked, tone kinder than Remus had ever heard from the man before.

Sirius stayed silent, like he hadn’t heard the question. His face was pale. “Siri?” Regulus called out, louder. Sirius flinched

“Yeah?” he rasped, breathing shallow. It was the beginning of a panic attack.

“Pads, can you breathe for me?” Remus asked gently. Sirius shook his head once. 

“Black, I need you to listen to my voice.” Severus said, sternly but not unkindly. “Can you hear it?” Sirius nodded. “What are three things you can see?” 

“Tab– table,” Sirius said. 

“What color is the table?” Severus asked. 

“Mahogany,” Sirius replied, voice hollow.

“Two more things. What do you see and what color is it?” 

Sirius’ eyes darted around the room. “White candles. Tan sofa.”

“Alright. Three things you can hear?” Severus asked.

Sirius took a deep breath. Regulus and Remus exchanged a glance, unsure of what Severus was doing but not wanting to intervene. 

“You, the fire.” Sirius responded.

“And?” Severus asked.

“The boys snoring.” The haze in Sirius’ eyes began to clear.

“Three things you can feel,” Severus instructed.

“My jeans.” Sirius noticed the dull ache in his fingers that were clenched tightly around his wand, like if he loosened the grip, it would disappeared. “My wand.” Sirius’ breath hitched again, but Severus kept him going.

“One more.” 

“The sofa.” 

Severus nodded, whispering an incantation. A subtle scent washed over the room.

“One thing you can smell,” Severus said, with finality.

Sirius was forced to take a deep breath. The faint smell of soothing lavender washed over him “Lavender. Smells like lavender.”

“How do you feel now?” Severus asked.

Sirius met his eyes. “Better.” Severus nodded, and relief washed over Remus and Regulus.

“Sirius, let’s get you to bed.” Remus suggested, tentatively. 

“I’m okay, Moony. I can talk about it.” Sirius said with weak determination. Remus reached for Sirius, who gladly accepted his hand.

“Our mother used to take our wands when we misbehaved.” Sirius said. Severus paled. He was well aware of the abuse Walburga had inflicted on Regulus, and it didn’t surprise him that she had mistreated her elder son as well. “The last time she did that was right before I ran away to James. She had been trying to get me engaged to one of Bella’s deranged, Death Eater friends.”

Severus gasped.

“The marriage wouldn’t be right away,” Sirius said quickly, as if the clarification made things better. “But it would have been binding. I wouldn’t have had a choice after I graduated. I got pissed and told her I was leaving. She snapped my wand in half, had Kreacher destroy my broom too.”

“He ended up stealing my broom and leaving two days later. Used my wand in the meantime.” Regulus added. 

“I barely made it there. The Potters took me to Diagon Alley the next day to get me a new wand. Never worked as well as my first one.” Sirius finished. Remus squeezed his hand and Sirius squeezed back. 

Severus drew in a sharp breath, for a brief second, he’d understood Sirius’ loyalty to James. Afterall, he’d also placed Lily on a pedestal when her parents came to his rescue. Severus mulled over his thoughts, knowing he’d have to choose his next words very carefully. 

“What your mother did was atrocious.” Severus began. “I can understand why this feels similar to you. However, I do not intend on on breaking Draco’s wand or his broom. This was not meant to be disrespectful or a humiliation tactic to force him into submission. It was supposed to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt.”

“But why take away his autonomy, his only source of strength when he’s afraid?” Sirius asked. 

“Because his autonomy might get him killed. His strength might become his weakness if he acts too hastily in fear.” Severus reasoned. “You weren’t in danger at the Potters’, and your parents knew that. Their actions were to control you. Draco on the other hand…I don’t need to paint a picture of what your family is capable of.” 

Sirius shook his head, still unconvinced. Severus continued, “You may not agree with me but they say everything is fair in love and war. When it comes to the children, it’s both. I’d much rather be cruel and see them alive than be kind and burry them.”

“There has to be a better way,” Sirius said, holding his ground. 

Severus sighed, contemplating Sirius’ words. They were so earnest, it made Severus hesitate to dismiss them. He bit back a remark about his years of experience with kids and said, “I’ll return his wand tomorrow…” 

Sirius sighed. “Thank Merlin!” 

Severus continued. “If tonight goes without any incident. And I will place a monitoring charm in their room until I’m confident that Draco has come to his senses.” 

Sirius nodded. “Alright, but you’re going to have to be the one to tell the boys about that charm.” 

Severus shrugged in agreement. 

Another silence lingered asthe exhaustion of the night creapt in. “I think we should head to bed. We’re going to have two hungry boys on our hands in the morning.” Remus suggested. 

Remus and Sirius went one way, while Severus and Regulus took the other. Severus stopped by the medicine cabinet. He opened the door, pulling out a bottle of Calming Draught. “You should give this to your brother,” Severus said, holding out the bottle.

Regulus tried to hide a knowing smile and went for a fake yawn instead. “I would,” He stretched his arms, “but I’m really tired. You could give it to him.” Without waiting for Severus response, Regulus walked off toward his childhood bedroom.

Severus groaned but turned the other way. He softly knocked at Sirius’ door, praying Sirius wouldn’t hear him. His prayer was answered as a big no as Sirius opened the door. Severus held out the bottle. “I thought that perhaps you could use this.” 

Sirius blinked in surprise, but accepted the bottle. “Thanks?” he said it like a question. 

Severus nodded once and turned away. “Snape!” Sirius called behind him. “How were you able to help me through that… no one, not even Moony has been able to calm me down before.” 

Severus turned back. “Unfortunately, I have had to help many of my students through panic attacks and used to have quite a few myself when I was younger.” Severus admitted.

“Was it because– Did we– Did we cause them?” Sirius swallowed. 

“Goodnight, Black.” was the only response he received before Severus walked away. 

Sirius stared at the potion, still in mild disbelief. He gulped it down in one big swig. Something in his chest loosen and his muscles relax. Unfortunately, it did nothing to keep the memories away. The door shut behind him as he morphed into Padfoot and jumped onto the bed. 

Notes:

Okay I have a question. Do we need more action in this fic? I want to focus on character development and healing but I don't want the plot to become boring. It's getting hard for me to balance that. Just wanted to get your thoughts. Should we raise the stakes?

Chapter 31: Apologies Not Given

Notes:

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last chapter! I was concerned that the story was getting boring so it was great to see that everyone is enjoying the character development! It's what I love writing too so I think I'll stick to that for a while. We have A LOT of relationships to repair and trauma to process.

Also, I reached a 100 pages on my google doc with this chapter and thought that was pretty cool! This is officially the longest thing I've ever written!

The storm seemed to have passed the next morning. Draco had apologized to Harry for disarming him.  

“Just don’t try to escape in the middle of the night again,” Harry said, folding up his blanket. Draco smiled sadly and dropped the topic.

At the breakfast table, Draco found a wand waiting for him. His eyes flicked from the wand to Severus, who met his gaze without wavering.

“I was… persuaded to let you keep your wand and broom,” Severus said. His glance briefly caught Sirius, who beamed with something like pride. Then his tone sharpened. “However, I’m not convinced you won’t attempt something reckless again. Until I am, I’m placing a monitoring charm on your room. I’ll be alerted if either of you leave alone.”

“What did I do?” Harry asked, indignant.

“Nothing,” Remus offered quickly.

“Yet,” Severus added dryly. “Let’s keep it that way.”

Harry sat back, grumbling under his breath but didn’t push further.

The conversation shifted as breakfast wore on.

“Lupin, your potion will be ready by evening,” Severus said.

“Thanks,” Remus replied, buttering his toast.

“We also need to rearrange the house a bit,” Sirius added. “Since Reggie’s back, it’ll respond to his magic too. We can set up a proper space for Remus to transform safely.”

Severus visibly tensed.

“Transform?” Draco echoed, eyebrows lifting.

“I’ll explain later,” Harry muttered.

Remus caught the shift in Severus’ mood, his eyes drifting toward Severus. “It’s fine. I can go to the Shrieking Shack.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Severus said quickly. “I’m sure the wolf will… prefer to stay close to his friends.”

“Snape, I know I’ve never—”

“You do not owe me an apology for that night,” Severus cut in. His plate floated untouched toward the sink. “The person who does is no longer alive.”

Harry flinched. Draco watched, quiet and wide-eyed.

“I’ll finish the potion,” Severus added tightly. “You can pick it up later.” He stood. “I take no offense to you staying here, Lupin.”

He was gone before anyone could argue.

Regulus stood to follow. “I’ll check on him. But… he meant it, you know. About the apology. And about staying here.” Regulus gave Remus a reassuring smile.

Remus gave a small nod, subdued. His eyes lingered,longer than they should have, on Regulus as the man strode out of the room, an ache in his heart flaring to life. 

“And you’re staying,” Sirius said firmly. Remus snapped out of his daze, turning his attention back to Sirius. 

Remus sighed. “Alright. As long as we find a safe place for Moony, I’ll stay through the full moon.”

Draco tilted his head. “I thought you were Moony?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances.

“If I’m staying, he needs to know,” Remus said, meeting Draco’s gaze. “I’m a lycanthrope.”

Draco’s eyes widened. “That’s why Severus taught us about lycanthropes the day he was subbing for you!”

Harry grinned. “Took you long enough to figure it out. Hermione put it together that evening.”

“Of course she did,” Draco said, without any real bite.

“Boys, focus,” Remus said, redirecting attention. “The full moon is coming, and I will transform.”

“The potion Severus mentioned… Is it wolfsbane?” Draco asked.

Remus nodded.

“Alright. In that case, we’ll stay out of your way.”

“That’s it?” Remus asked, stunned by Draco's casualness. Less than three years ago, the young boy tried to have a hippogriff slaughtered, and now he was okay living with a werewolf during the full moon?

Draco shrugged. “You’ve been my professor for almost two years. If you were going to hurt me, you would have—when Harry and I still hated each other. Besides, I trust Severus’ potion-making skills.”

“Great!” Sirius exclaimed, just as surprised as the rest, “Then it’s settled.”

Later, as everyone scattered to their own corners—Remus to the kitchen, Severus to his lab, and the boys upstairs with a stack of books—Sirius and Regulus sat in the library, floorplans spread between them.

“We’ll need a room for Remus,” Sirius said, tapping the parchment. “And a transformation-safe chamber. Something reinforced.”

Regulus nodded slowly. “Sure… but while we’re at it, can we add a room for me?”

Sirius looked up. “What? You already have your old room.”

“I don’t want that one.” Regulus made a face, like he had just tasted something bitter. 

“Reggie, we’re pushing it with two new rooms and a potions lab for Snape. A third could mess with the structural spells—”

“You always do this,” Regulus snapped. “You never just let me decide things for myself.”

“What are you talking about?” Sirius sighed, fanning the flames to Regulus’ fury.

“This!” Regulus gestured sharply. “I ask for one thing—one room—and you shoot it down like I’m being unreasonable. Like I don’t know what I need.”

“I didn’t say that,” Sirius said, irritation rising. “I’m saying we have limits. This place isn’t indestructible.”

“You don’t live in your childhood bedroom. Why do I have to be imprisoned in mine?”

Sirius let out a short, frustrated laugh. “I took mom and dad’s room because I can’t fit in my old bed anymore! Why are you so dramatic?”

“And you’re being controlling. Like always.”

Sirius straightened. “I’m trying to keep us safe! What’s wrong with the room you already have?” Sirius demanded, eyes narrowing.

Regulus hesitated. He didn’t know what to say. He always joked about how he faked death but, in reality, he knew a part of him had died the day he fled. His old room now felt like a shrine to that lost fragment, to the death eaters. It was filled with painful memories of what life was like when his older brother, his lifeline, had abandoned him. He could see the battle plans laid out on the very desk he had completed his vacation homework on. He could still feel the suffocating monitoring charms that had reported his mother of his every move, like she knew about every breath he breathed even in the deepest pits of hell. 

Regulus shook his head, unwilling to vocalize those thoughts. “I just don’t like it, alright?”

“That’s not a good reason,” Sirius scoffed.

Regulus’ tone turned cold. “You don’t get to decide what’s a good reason for me.”

“Oh, for—” Sirius pushed back from the table. “Reggie, this is exactly like when we were kids. You’d ask for something, get mad when I tried to have a conversation, and then run off sulking.”

Regulus stood slowly. “And you’d pretend you knew better. Always knew better. Even when you left me behind. You don’t know what I went through in that room after you left!”

That hit harder than either of them expected. Sirius froze. His frustration taking a back seat to his concern. He didn’t know. He had convinced himself that Regulus was safe. He was the golden boy of the family and their parents would never lay a finger on their favourite child. Sirius believed, with all his heart, that Regulus was happy with his decisions until the day he learned that his baby brother was dead. “What did they do, Reggie?” Sirius asked, voice low and dangerous. 

Regulus knew that Sirius wasn’t mad at him. However, in that moment, he saw a glimpse of his mother in Sirius’ tone. The harsh darkness that promised danger and vengeance and violence. He had to leave. He had to get to safety. Regulus shook his head, refusing to answer. “I told you I’m not going to be a prisoner in that house again. If you think I’m a guest here, that I have no say in any decisions, then I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

Sirius shook his head. “That’s not what I–”

But Regulus was already walking out.

“Reggie—” Sirius called, desperately, chasing him to the living room, where Remus was reading a book. He looked up at the commotion to see the green flames of the Floo rise, and then Regulus was gone.

Remus rushed to Sirius and placed a hand on his arm. “Breathe.”

Sirius exhaled, grounding himself.

“Do you want me to go?” Remus asked softly.

Sirius shook his head. “No. We’ve been avoiding this for long enough. It’s time Regulus and I talked. We’ll work on restructuring the house when we get back, or tomorrow morning. Worst case, I’ll join you at the shrieking shack.” 

Remus smiled warmly. “Don’t worry about any of that. The wolfsbane really helps. Just focus on Regulus.” Sirius returned a grateful smile before heading over to the floo. He just hoped Regulus hadn’t somehow managed to block him from entering. Sirius had to figure out what happened.

Notes:

As always, give me validation! ❤️❤️

Chapter 32: Rekindling the Hearth of Black

Notes:

I love writing sibling! I have no clue if my portrayal of them is accurate but it's so much fun!

Anyways, enjoy the angst.

Sirius flooed in to find Regulus pacing around the cottage. The younger man startled at the intrusion, his hand grasping his chest to calm his heart rate. “Leave.” Regulus said, his voice cold and distant. 

Sirius raised his arms in surrender. “I don’t want to fight, Reg. It’s time we talked.”

“I don’t want to talk, Sirius. Get out!” The sternness gave way to desperation and Sirius wondered if that’s how Regulus had been during his teen years, during the time Sirius had left. 

The older man longed to reach out, to reassure his brother that he was safe with him. Instead, he stepped back, in an attempt to be as non-threatening as possible. “Reg, please. I promise I’ll listen. I’m not going to hurt you. What happened?” He tried to come across as calm and rational but couldn’t help the fear and concern that dripped into his tone. 

“You abandoned me is what fucking happened!” Regulus yelled. Sirius swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Anger. He could work with anger. He could work with anything as long as Regulus didn’t shut him out again.

Sirius nodded, staying put, hoping his brother would continue. “You chose James. Without even considering the hell they would put me through. You left and never looked back and I was stuck with them until I died.”

“I thought it would be easier.” Sirius said, voice gentle like he was comforting a spooked animal. “They loved you in a way they never loved me. I thought it would be better without the fights and the arguments. I didn’t think they’d hurt you.”

“They never loved me, Sirius! They loved that I listened! Just like they hated that you argued. Well, I’m fucking sick of listening.” There was exhaustion in Regulus’ words. He had been running away from the past for so long, he didn’t expect that he would circle back around to it. 

“Okay, you don’t have to listen anymore. I’m listening.” Sirius promised. “I’m here and I’m listening. You can say whatever you need to.”

Regulus took a deep breath as Sirius patiently waited for him to continue. “I know you were mad at them. Why did you leave me too?”

Sirius wanted to say that he didn’t but he knew that was a lie. The night he’d stolen Regulus’ broom, he’d been pissed at Regulus for trying to reason with him, but he’d never wanted to leave Regulus behind. As soon as he reached James, he sent Regulus an owl, asking if they could come get him but the invitation went unanswered. “I wasn’t trying to leave you. You were just a kid and I wanted to protect you too. I wrote letters to you. Sent you one every day that summer. And when I didn’t hear back, I thought you’d made your choice…”

Regulus laughed dark and prickly. A chill traveled through Sirius’ spine at the icy sound. “When did we ever get choices, Sirius?”

“Reggie,” Sirius said, his voice broken and desperate. “What did they do?” 

“They took away the owl. Burnt every letter you send. Put monitoring charms all over the room. I couldn’t open a drawer or write a single word without mother being alerted. What did you think they were going to do? Let us meet up at Hogsmeade?” Sirius’ heart broke at the numbness in his brother’s tone. 

“Why didn’t you tell me at school?” Sirius asked.

“I tried to, on the train… You were asleep and James told me you were upset and didn’t want to talk to me anymore. Barty saw me leave that compartment and by the next morning, it had been decided that I would always be accompanied by a Slytherin, just to make sure we wouldn’t ever interact. I knew Sev would never rat me out but by that point, I didn’t think you’d even talk to me.” Regulus explained. 

“I was upset but I would have talked to you. You had to know that!” Sirius said.

“Well, I didn’t.” Regulus snapped. “You got pissed off at them and ran away from home. How the fuck was I supposed to know that you’d talk to me?” 

“I didn’t leave because I was annoyed, Reggie. I left because they were trying to marry me off!”

Silence washed over them. Sirius didn’t know what else he could say or how he could fix years of distrust sewn by their parents. He always believed Regulus knew that he cared. The idea of Regulus locked up in their home, unable to reach him, shattered the picture perfect Black family he had convinced himself they had become. 

“Regulus,” Sirius said with certainty and authority, forcing the younger man to meet his gaze. “I am so sorry that you couldn’t come to me. I’m sorry that you went so long believing I didn’t care. And I’m sorry for the role I played in fucking up your life. But I need you to know that if you had come to me at any point, whether it was that summer or the day you decided to escape, I would have helped you. No matter what you had done.”

Regulus averted his gaze but Sirius continued. “I know you always thought I abandoned you but I didn’t! I had to save myself and I’ll always regret that it cost you your life and freedom. You deserve better and I promise I still have your back.”

Regulus swallowed the lump in his throat and gave a slight nod, unable to trust his voice. 

After a beat passed Sirius dared to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind since he first saw Regulus. “Reggie, why’d you do it? Why’d you leave?”

Regulus let out a shaky breath as he slumped onto the couch. Sirius sank on the seat across from him, his eyes trained on Regulus’ darkening expressions. “He was making horcruxes.” Regulus whispered. Sirius stilled, a breath catching in his throat. “He let it slip one day. Kreacher and I went to the cave. I had no choice but to drink the water.” Regulus’ eyes became hazy as he recalled the agony he’d felt. It was like being forced to relive the moment a loved one dies. Over and over again. 

“Reggie?” Sirius asked, gently, reaching out to pet his shoulder. 

Regulus furiously rubbed his eyes, trying to blink the tears away. “It was awful, Siri. The Inferi– they came for me and I wanted to go with them because death would have been easier. Kreacher grabbed the locket and dragged me out of there. He wanted to bring me to you but if the Dark Lord had known that I was alive… So we let them think the Inferi got me.”

“It’s okay, Reggie.” Sirius promised, though he couldn’t quite piece together Regulus’ broken story. “You did good. I’m so proud of you for getting out. For fighting them.” 

Those words broke the dam as the tears started streaming. Regulus looked away, wiping them as Sirius pretended not to notice. Sirius tried to push back the questions racing through his mind. There were a million things he wanted to ask about the horcrux. Who knew? How many were there? Could they destroy them? He bit his lips before the questions could escape. This was about Regulus, not the war. He could wait for his answers. 

“What can I do to have you come back? I don’t want you staying here.” Sirius asked. 

“I’m not coming back.” Regulus said. “You don’t know what it feels like to be imprisoned.” Sirius shot him an incredulous look and Regulus chuckled sheepishly. “Yeah, I realized it as soon as I said it.  But, I’m not going back to that room.” 

“Okay,” Sirius replied softly. A flicker of shock passed Regulus before he schooled his expression. “I can’t promise that we can build another room but we’ll figure something out. I can’t switch with you because the Order members can pop into my room but maybe the kids or Remus….”

“No!” Regulus yelled. “No, I don’t want anyone in that room. I can still feel mother breathing down my neck.” 

“We’ll figure something else out.” Sirius promised. “What if we move the stuff from my old room into yours and you can stay in my old room.” Sirius’ eyes did a quick scan of the living room. “We bring the furniture from here?”

Regulus considered the offer. “That could work.” He relented. 

Sirius let out an exhale. “Okay, let’s miniaturize whatever you want to bring. We’ll have everyone start on moving your stuff and we can make changes to the house tomorrow.”

Regulus nodded and stood up. “Let’s get started.”

Notes:

Also, for everyone wondering when this is set, it's an AU where Remus didn't loose his job as the defence professor and it takes place during the Order of the Phoenix. One of the comments made me realize that I pretty much forgot that the Goblet of Fire even existed, that's why the timeline feels messy and weird.

Is this during their fourth year or fifth? IDK your guess is as good as mine. Or it's probably better than since I forgot a whole ass book.

Chapter 33: Our Song

Notes:

The next few chapters might be more dialogue heavy but they are so exciting to write!

The relationship tags have been updated. I know a few of you figured it out but outlining the next few chapters confirmed it for me.

FYI, Keeping Up Appearances is a real British show from the 90s. I've never seen it. I just heard about it from QuintonReviews.

When they arrived at Grimmauld Place, the mini furniture in tow, they were greeted by the sound of arguing. Harry and Draco stood nose to nose in the hallway while Remus hovered nearby, looking like he’d long since surrendered any hope of peace.

“Okay, Hyacinth and Richard, break it up!” Sirius said.

The arguing ceased immediately as everyone turned to Sirius with confusion written all over them. 

“Who?” Draco asked, frowning. Harry bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

“Hyacinth and Richard Bucket. Keeping Up Appearances? It’s a TV show,” Sirius said like it was obvious.

“What’s a TV show?” Draco asked flatly.

Sirius sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “Never mind. Why are you fighting this time?”

“Severus won’t let me leave the house alone, and Harry doesn’t want to come to Diagon Alley with me,” Draco replied.

“I was out all day yesterday!” Harry shot back. “I just want to stay home for once!”

“What about me?” Draco demanded. “I’m going to be stuck here all break. I can’t see or talk to my friends or even my parents.”

“How long has this been going on?” Regulus whispered to a disgruntled Remus.

“Apparently since after breakfast.” Remus muttered. Regulus made a face.

Sirius clapped his hands. “Alright. Draco, you’re bored and need something to do?” Draco nodded.

“Harry, you need space?”

“Desperately.”

“Great. Harry, you can head up to your room, close the door, and do absolutely nothing.” Harry lit up and bolted up the stairs.

“Draco, we need help adapting the house. Go check the books in the library — the ones we laid out — and make a list of spells we might need.

Everything’s on the parchment. Once you’re done, you can come with one of us to pick up dinner. Fair?”

Draco hesitated, then gave a small smile. “Thanks.” He turned and disappeared toward the library.

Remus exhaled loudly. “Pads, I’ve been trying to calm them down all morning.”

“He’s probably going stir-crazy,” Regulus said sympathetically. “Cut off from his friends, stuck with people he barely knows, and not allowed to leave.”

Sirius nodded, glancing after Draco. “Maybe we can send him and Harry to Hermione’s for a day. Might do them both some good.”

The idea hung in the air until Remus broke the silence. “So... what did you decide? About the rooms?”

“Reggie will stay in my old room and we’ll clear out my stuff and put it in his room.” Sirius turned to his brother. “Reg, let’s go pack our stuff. You take your room, I’ll take mine.”

Regulus nodded but made no attempt to move. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked.

“I’ll need some help but I don’t want to drag Severus in there. It’s filled with…” Regulus shook his head. “...Never mind, I’ll handle it.” 

“I can help.” Remus spoke up. Regulus considered the offer, still unsure. “I know your past, Regulus,” Remus said, gently, “I’m not going to judge you for decisions you made at 17.”

After a pause, Regulus nodded and headed toward the stairs. Remus gave Sirius a small, reassuring smile and followed after him.

Sirius remained in the hallway a moment longer, rubbing at his chest. Guilt clawed beneath his ribs, heavy and familiar. Then he turned and headed toward the potions lab.

It wasn’t difficult to rope Severus into helping him. He had completed the potion and was just letting it rest so when Sirius asked, Severus hesitantly agreed. 

They worked in silence at first. Sirius picked up the books he’d left scattered around the floor, glancing occasionally at Severus as he folded old t-shirts he’d picked up from the ground with practiced precision.

Sirius paused, staring at Severus working. “Black, I can hear you think and I understand that is not something you are used to so just say what you want to say,” Severus said, still focused on getting through the pile of clothes,

“Did you know about the horcruxes?” Sirius asked. Sirius noticed Severus’ shoulders tense lightly. 

Severus looked up. “Why are you asking about this?”  

“So you do know?” Sirius confirmed.

Severus shook his head. “Regulus informed me when we initially started writing letters. This is why Albus asked that I go undercover again. Not for war plans but to find out how many he made and where he stored them.”

Sirius held a stack of textbooks, his hands suddenly heavy. “I hate this. Every day, I hate the idea of you going back more and more.”

“Well, lucky for us, your opinion has no bearing on our strategy,” Severus replied flatly, moving to the next pile.

“Snape, there has to be another way.”

“And when you are in charge of this war, you may find it,” Severus deadpanned.

The disgruntled professor glanced around. “Why does it look like Albus and the Dark Lord dueled here?” 

Sirius let out a breath, frustrated at the topic change. “I blasted the armoire open last month. Was looking for something.”

Severus gave him a side-eye as Sirius opened the cabinet and paused.

His face softened. “Well, hello,” he whispered, pulling out a dusty portable record player.

Severus looked up. “We’re not playing music, Black.”

“Think we need some atmosphere,” Sirius said. He opened a drawer and flipped through old vinyls until he found Elton John.

“There are no electrical sockets,” Severus said, but Sirius only smiled.

“I have my ways.” He flicked his wand, casting a charm Peter once taught him. He pushed away the bittersweet memory, concentrating on the

music like it was the first time he was hearing it.

Sirius stood, eyes half-closed, letting it wash over him. Severus stared.

“How… how do you know this one?” Severus asked.

Sirius snapped out of his daze. “You told me about it… when we wrote to each other. I asked you about what muggle music you liked and you liked the slower ones.” 

“I don’t remember that.” Severus said, a bit hesitant. 

“I didn’t either but then I read some of the letters and some of the memories started coming back.” Sirius explained. 

“Well, it’s not like that matters anymore.” Severus said.

Sirius looked up, the nostalgic expression he wore shattering into anguish. “You keep saying that but it does matter.”

“And why do events from 20 years ago, events we don’t remember matter?” Severus challenged.

A beat of silence passed as Sirius considered the question. Just when Severus thought he had won, Sirius asked another question. “When you look at me, do you see the kid who called you to the shrieking shack?”

Severus averted his gaze, not giving an answer. 

“That’s why it matters, Snape. Because you still believe I hated you enough to want you dead. But that wasn’t me!” Severus stilled at the outburst. He knew that, he really did, but he still couldn’t push away the false memories of Sirius’ invitation and James’ rescue. 

“I pushed you out of the way! I carried you out of there and tended to your wounds! James was the one who called you there!” Sirius cried.
 
Severus shook his head. “You were still a prick to me all those years before! You let Potter assault me! Several times!”

“And I take full responsibility for everything I did to hurt you. I was cruel to you and I never stopped James either. I will never ask you to forget it.

But I can’t take the blame for what I didn’t do anymore. Not this. Not the Shack.” Sirius replied. Severus snapped his head up, meeting Sirius’ eyes.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt and I certainly didn’t want you dead. I need you to understand that.”

“Black, how do you just expect me to suddenly believe a whole other truth? Distrust 2 decades of memories for a 2 minute vision?” Severus asked, exasperated. 

“You did it before. How did you do it last time?” Sirius asked.

Severus shook his head. “What last time?”

“Everyone still thinks I should get the Dementor’s Kiss for what happened to James and Lily. Harry thought I was going to kill him. Dumbledore doubted me. But you—” Sirius took a shaky breath. “You believed me. The moment Peter escaped, you changed sides. Why?”

“Because I saw it. Tangible proof.”

“You want tangible?” Sirius stepped closer. “Then read the letters with me.”

Severus blinked. “What?”

“They’re proof. Real pieces of what we were. Your job at the corner store. You telling me about Piccadilly Circus. Me going out to buy records

because you liked them.” He gestured to the record player. “This record player is tangible proof that we weren’t enemies. That we cared about

each other. That we were more…”

There was a long silence. Severus exhaled.

“Fine,” he said. “If you actually get this room cleaned, I’ll read the letters with you.”

“There’s just one problem,” Sirius winced. “I kind of… banished them when Harry and Draco barged in. Now I don’t know where they are. I search every corner of the house but I can’t find or summon them.”

Severus groaned. “You’re on your own, Black.”

Sirius just laughed as I Need You To Turn To began to play. They worked in relative peace, with Sirius humming along to the song. 

Severus continued to tidy up, making sure everything was neatly packed away as Sirius began to miniaturize the furniture. The moment felt too intimate, like Sirius had gotten to know a part of him against his will. The peace felt too overwhelming, unearned so Severus decided to shatter the quiet. “You never explained why you roped me into cleaning your room.”

Sirius looked up, surprised by the question. “Reggie doesn’t want to stay in his old room. Swapping was the only way to get him back from France.” He paused. “Thank you. For looking out for him when I couldn’t. He told me how much he trusted you even with everything our parents put him through.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“No, I mean it. The way you took care of him—”

“My friendship with Regulus and my concern for his well-being is not a favor to you. Don’t diminish it by making it your responsibility to be grateful.”

Sirius nodded slowly. “You’re right. My responsibility wasn’t to thank you. It was to watch his back.” His voice faltered. “And I didn’t.”
Severus’ eyes softened though he did not say anything. 

“Fuck!” Sirius sighed, dropping gracelessly onto his desk chair. The words tumbled out of his mouth as Sirius didn’t let himself hold back anymore. “I didn’t know he was alive! I spent over a decade thinking he was dead because he couldn’t trust me. Because I left him. I let our parents and James convince him I wanted nothing to do with him. I let them abuse him.” 

“I thought you no longer wanted to take the blame for someone else’ wrongdoings." Severus said. Sirius looked up, meeting his gaze. 

“What?”

“You mentioned not wanting to feel guilty for the pain others inflicted. Why are you taking responsibility for your parent’s actions?” Severus asked.

“Because!” Sirius snapped. Then softer, “Because they put him through hell after I left.”

“I see,” Severus nodded. “However, I don’t recall placing Harry under strict surveillance when Draco attempted to flee. We didn’t ask for his wand or broom or forbid him from speaking to his friends. At Hogwarts, we take points from certain houses but I’ve never given all of Gryffindor detention when it was Harry who snuck out.”

Sirius’ expression crumbled as Severus’ words landed. Their parents didn’t have to punish Regulus for his actions. “Are you saying it’s not my fault?”

“Yes. Even someone as dimwitted as you must know you can’t control what other people do. Especially not when you were just a child trying to survive. Your parents punished him for your actions. That was not a choice you could have made. And based on what I’ve heard about your escape, it didn’t seem like you had other options.”

Sirius turned away, something in his chest loosening. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Severus didn’t answer. He just continued packing, the quiet music filling the space between them.

Notes:

The slow is burning, guys! It's burning brighter than my future.

Also, I didn't forget about the letters! Told you I'd bring them back in a more exciting way!

What are your thoughts? Do you have any theories about Reggie's room or what he and Remus are talking about?

Chapter 34: A Room to Breathe

Notes:

CW: mentions and hints of abusive parents and control (more so than the other chapters)

I know I say this every time but this was one of my favorite chapters to write! I feel like Regulus is a character I really get to make my own because out of everyone else we know the least about him.

Regulus entered his room, Remus trailing behind. The younger man stilled as Remus’ eyes roamed around the space. He had been there before, just a month ago, but at the time, they’d been rushing to heal Severus, and Remus hadn’t spared a second glance at anything but Regulus’ desk.

Now, his eyes darted between the Death Eater masks framed above the dresser and the wall of news clippings from Voldemort's victories against Muggle-borns behind the bed. The desk was tucked away in a corner; next to it, a giant chalkboard outlined battle plans from 1979. Remus’ stomach lurched at the list of names to attack — the first few names crossed off — and his own name resting toward the bottom, next to James, Sirius, and Lily. A bracket was drawn around their names; beside it, in large handwriting, it said Regulus. Bile rose in Remus’ throat when he realized Peter’s name wasn’t anywhere on the board.

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said.

“I’m not sure if I want to know,” Remus replied, without turning around.

Regulus turned away. His hand rested on his armoire’s door handle before he spoke again.
“You should go. I can handle this.”

Remus considered the out Regulus gave him. He had promised not to judge, but the room felt like it was choking him the minute he walked in. His thoughts wandered to Regulus’ cottage, cozy, bright, and inviting, while everything in this room made him want to flee. Though Regulus had grown up here, it was in no way his. Remus shook his head. “Let’s get you packed and out of here,” he said gently.

Regulus’ shoulders loosened as he finally opened the door and pulled out a black suitcase. As soon as it hit the bed, Remus charmed it, imprinting it with the pattern from the curtains he’d seen in Regulus’ kitchen. Regulus looked up and gave him a grateful smile.

“Let’s talk about something else,” Remus suggested as Regulus started piling things onto the bed.

“Okay, how are you doing?” Regulus asked.

“Pretty well, all things considered. I have a steady job, steady supply of Wolfsbane. Can’t really complain much.” Remus chatted, neatly organizing the suitcase with clothes and parchment.

“No, I meant with finding out about what James did. Siri and Sev have been a complete disaster. Doubt you’ve been given much of a chance to process,” Regulus said.

Remus paused, looking up to meet his eyes. The sincerity in them tugged at Remus’ heart. Staying was clearly the right decision.

“Well, you know how it is — when a friend uses you as a murder weapon,” Remus said jokingly.

“Yeah, I do,” Regulus replied, pointing to the chalkboard. 

A beat of silence passed, and then both men broke into abrupt laughter.

“Oh, what has become of our lives?” Regulus asked between fits of giggles.

“I know!” Remus said, calming down. 

“I blamed Sirius this whole time. Our friendship didn’t get back to what it was until he escaped Azkaban. I probably would’ve vouched for him in the first war. Would’ve begged Dumbledore to give him a trial. If James had never blamed Sirius, I never would have had a reason to distrust his loyalty. I wouldn’t have lost everyone in one night.” Bitterness seeped into his voice by the end.
Regulus nodded, but didn’t say anything, giving Remus the space to continue. 

“I feel so damn guilty for blaming Sirius, for questioning his loyalty. When it was James! He not only used me to hurt Snape, he took away Sirius’ happiness and replaced it with what? Guilt? Hatred? I’m the reason those two still hate each other.”

“Hey, that’s not your fault,” Regulus said, sitting on the bed beside him. “They’ve hated each other since first year.”

Remus shook his head. “They didn’t. Regulus, you didn’t see those memories. The way Sirius laughed, or the way he held Snape. Even Snape looked…” Remus searched for the word, “...comfortable with him. Snape came to protect Sirius — and I attacked him. Tore off his robes. He was bleeding.” Remus’ eyes turned hazy with the memory.

“Would you have attacked him if it wasn’t the full moon?” Regulus asked. The question snapped Remus out of the blood-soaked flashback.

“Of course not!” 

“Then it wasn’t your fault. You went to the Shrieking Shack so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Severus being there was just as much your fault as it was Sirius’, which is to say, none. As for you blaming Sirius, what else were you supposed to believe?”

Remus shook his head. “I know. It’s just... how could he do this? To me and to Sirius?”

Regulus considered Remus’ words. “I guess not knowing why must be hard to live with.” Regulus said as Remus began arranging the toiletries.

Remus nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Can you open the drawers? My magic doesn’t work on some of the furniture.” Regulus asked, awkwardly. 

Remus pulled out his wand and opened the desk and dresser drawers. “Do you miss France?” Remus asked as Regulus began rummaging through his old belongings.

“I miss the freedom I had. My space was the way I wanted. I could come and go as I pleased. Didn’t have to worry about people showing up unannounced.”

“Oh, sorry.” Remus said.

“What?” Regulus turned around. “No, not you!” he said incredulously. “I meant that I just have to worry about hiding from the Order. Don’t know when someone will just appear or who they’d tell.” 

Remus nodded. “Did you have anyone… special?”

“I didn’t have many people, you know, aside from Beau. I was always worried someone might figure out who I am so I kept a low profile.” Regulus muttered, shutting the drawers in his desk and going to his dresser.

“Oh. Yeah. Beau. I’m sure he must be a close friend,” Remus tried to keep the uncertainty from his voice.

“We weren’t exactly ‘just friends’,” Regulus shrugged.

Remus looked away from the suitcase. “What?” he asked, immediately regretting it.

“I mean, we weren’t together, like in a relationship,” Regulus continued, unaware of the sour expression Remus wore. “But we didn’t really have anyone else so, you know... sometimes, we’d hook up.”

Remus’ grip tightened on the book Regulus had handed him. He schooled his features and tried to reboot his brain, but thankfully, he was saved from replying.

“Merlin! Look what I found!” He turned around, grinning and holding scrolls of parchment.

Remus stood up. “What is it?”

“The letters Sev and Siri wrote to each other.” Regulus’ grin was too mischievous for Remus’ liking.

“No!” he said, instantly.

Regulus’ shoulders dropped. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“I grew up with Sirius. Ee are not reading them.” Remus said sternly. 

“Come on!” Regulus said, reminding Remus too much of his best friends. “Don’t you want to know how that…” Regulus gestured wildly, the scrolls flopping in the air, “even happened?”

Remus shook his head. “No! They’ll tell us what they want us to know. We can’t invade their privacy.”

Regulus scoffed, placing the scrolls on the bed. “Maybe you can’t, but I’m his brother. It’s my birthright.”

“Sure, but what about Snape?” Remus reasoned.

Regulus’ smile faltered. Being close friends, he knew Severus valued his privacy. He’d never trust Regulus if he violated that. “Alright,” Regulus accepted, pouting.

Remus rubbed his temples. “You’re just like Sirius!”

Regulus looked affronted, though his eyes still gleaned. “Take that back!” 

Seconds later, there was knocking at the door. “We’re ready.” came Sirius’ voice. 

Regulus opened the door just as Remus zipped up the suitcase. “So are we.”

The two men stepped in, holding boxes of miniaturized furniture and neatly folded wall paper.

“Guess what I found.” Regulus said, mischievously. 

“What?” Sirius replied, curiously.

“Love letters,” he said in a sing-song voice.

Severus looked taken aback. “You wrote love letters to Ja—”

“No!” Regulus said, cutting off Severus loudly. “That ended in 4th year! Why does everyone still bring it up?”

“Who?” Sirius asked. 

“Maybe because his name is carved into your desk,” Remus teased. 

Regulus glared at the man, who smiled sheepishly. 

“Who?” Sirius asked again, louder this time. 

Regulus looked pleadingly between Remus and Severus. 

“Hey,” Remus raised his arms in surrender. “You deserve this for what you’re about to do.” Severus placed the box on the dresser and Remus rose to help him out with reorganizing the room.

“Fair enough.” Regulus turned to Sirius. “Don’t worry about all that. I found the letters you and Sev wrote to each other.” Severus didn’t react but Sirius froze.

“You had them the whole time?” Sirius exclaimed. “I’ve been looking for them all month!”

“Sorry! I didn’t know. They were just in the dresser.” Regulus said.

“You haven’t opened your dresser since you moved back?” Sirius asked, incredulous.

“I couldn’t.” Regulus mumbled.

Sirius shook his head. “What do you mean you couldn’t?”

“Black, I don’t think this is necessary. You found the letters, and I said we could read them,” Severus said, a little too sternly.

“It’s fine, Sev,” Regulus said.

“Siri, Mother charmed everything but the armoire. I couldn’t open anything without permission or someone else casting the spell. She didn’t want me hiding letters from you.”

Remus froze. Sirius buried his face in his hands.

“Regulus,” he said, trying to stay calm, though his eyes betrayed his fury. “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“It wasn’t a big deal! I learned to live off the armoire years ago. It’s not like I needed anything besides a place to keep my clothes.” Regulus said. 

Sirius shook his head. 

“Perhaps, you should discuss this later,” Severus said, gently, placing his hand on Regulus’ shoulder. 

Sirius sighed, muttering a curse before walking away. He placed his desk on the ground, a few feet away from Regulus’ own when his gaze fell on the chalkboard. Sirius stood frozen, his eyes scanning the names until it got to his own.

“Reg,” Sirius’ voice cracked. “What’s this?”

All eyes turned to Regulus, who was staring at the floor in humiliation. Regulus froze, feeling a lump settle in his throat.

“Reggie?” Sirius asked again. 

“It was supposed to be a test of loyalty.” Regulus said panic and fear in his voice. Sirius’ breath hitched. “To see if I could turn against you. Hurt you and the people you loved the most. If I failed, my name would have been added to the list.”

Severus patted Regulus’ shoulder, doing his best to console the younger man. Then, in a quiet whisper, Regulus said, “I don’t think I would have passed.”

Sirius raised his hand to the board, his thumb darted out, furiously swiping against Regulus’ name. Sirius pulled his hand back, eyes burning with anger when the chalk didn’t even smudge. 

“I tried,” Regulus whispered. “First thing I tried when I stepped into this room. It’s all charmed. I couldn’t even destroy the board.”

Severus pulled out his wand, aiming at the board, “Delere Tabulum,” he incanted, moving his wand in small circles. Regulus’ name was first to go, followed by the Marauders' and Lily’s. Soon enough, the entire board was blank. Regulus let out a sob, barely holding himself up. 

Remus placed his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, knowing Sirius was likely seconds away from exploding. “He doesn’t need you getting angry,” Remus whispered so no one else could hear.  Sirius gave a curt nod before shrugging out of Remus’ grasp and going to Regulus.

“It’s okay,” he said. 

“It’s not!” Regulus replied, meeting his eyes. He tried to not flinch away from the burning anger in Sirius’ gaze. Though Sirius' anger always reminded him too much of his mother. 

“Well, it will be.” Sirius promised. Regulus took a shaky breath, nodding at the certainty his brother radiated.

They continued to work trying to fill the air with lighter conversation. “How did you know that spell? You know, to erase the board,” Remus had asked.

Severus raised one eye brow. “It was covered in our instructor training. Many first years like to believe they can outwit the professors.”

“Oh,” Remus returned his attention enlarging the bed side tables, feeling sheepish.

It wasn’t long until their work was complete. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Sirius said, looking around the room, now stocked with every nightmare from their childhoods. 

Sirius ruffled Regulus’ hair as the younger man walked out, holding his suitcase as Sirius juggled the letters they had found.

Once the door shut behind the four men, Sirius drew his wand. “Colloportus,” he said. The door glowed around the edges, fading just a few seconds later. Regulus let out a breath as the horrors of his past were now shut behind him.

Notes:

As always, let me know what you think! I don't get to experience this story as a first time reader so I truly love seeing how you feel and what you like.

Chapter 35: Loyalty: Illuminated or Obscured

As the four men approached the living room, they saw Draco lounging around, having completed his share of the work.

“Ready to go?” the younger boy asked, snapping the book he was reading shut, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Go where?” Severus asked.

“I told Draco he could come get dinner with me. Figured we’d be too tired to cook.” Sirius said. 

Severus gave Sirius a pointed look to which Sirius replied, “You don’t expect him to be stuck here all day, do you? He can’t even visit his friends or family.” Sirius gave Severus his puppy dog eyes and Severus could swear the man had used partial animagus transformation to achieve that look. 

“And what will you do if he gets seen?” Severus challenged.

“Well, it’s a good thing our potions cabinet is stocked with all kinds of stuff that our genius potions master made, including polyjuice.” Sirius replied.

“Aren’t those for the Order? Don’t you need permission to use them?” Regulus asked.

Sirius turned to his brother. “Good point!” Then he turned to Remus. “Hey, Moony, we need a vial of the polyjuice potion.”

Remus chuckled, “I’ll note that down.” 

Severus glanced at Draco, who looked just as hopeful and excited. “Alright.” He relented. “Get a stand of Harry’s hair and ask if you can borrow his clothes.”

“Thank you!” Draco said, racing up the stairs.

“Be gentle and don’t take the full dose!” Severus called out to no avail. 

They heard a yell come from Harry’s room. “Owwww! What the hell, Malfoy!” The adults stifled a laugh as Draco rushed downstairs and toward the potions cabinet. Seconds later, Draco appeared, looking like Harry. Sirius transfigured some glasses and placed them on the younger boy’s face. 

Severus gave him a once over, making sure nothing would give the boy away. “Remember, Draco,” he said, “You are Harry. Do not pull your wand out under any circumstances. You will give yourself away instantly. Be mindful of what you say in public. If you see anyone you know, do not approach or greet them.”

Draco nodded, avoiding the urge to roll his eyes. 

Severus turned to Sirius. Before he could open his mouth, Sirius spoke up. “I’ll protect him the way you’ve protected Harry.” 

Severus nodded, relaxing slightly at the promise. Somehow, Sirius had said the words he’d needed to hear. 

Sirius made his way to the closet and grabbed two brooms. Draco glanced between the broom and Sirius. “We’re flying?” he asked, excitement coloring his voice.

“Yup!” Sirius replied. “Thought you might enjoy this more.”

Draco nodded, unable to verbalize his gratitude. Sirius put his arm around the younger man, leading him to the back door. 

Severus sighed, still uncertain about letting Draco leave. “He’ll be fine.” Regulus promised. 

Remus shook his head. “I’m going to set the table for dinner. Is it okay if I stay the night again? I’m too tired to go back home.” 

Regulus nodded. “Yeah, of course! Siri and I can make your room once he gets back. Should be easy enough since Draco already noted down the spells. I got furniture from my spare bedroom in the cottage so you won’t have to transfigure something everyday.” 

“Oh,” Remus said, surprised. “You don’t have to do that. I could just go back after the full moon…”

Regulus shook his head as Severus looked between the two men. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Regulus said, “You’ll need to recover after, then we have Yule and New Years. There’s no point in you going back just to sleep.”

“I ummm…” Remus wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t expected to be welcomed by Regulus or Severus. 

“It’s Harry’s first Yule away from his aunt and uncle,” Severus spoke up, “I’m sure he’d prefer to have a familiar and friendly face close by.” 

Remus nodded awkwardly. “Okay… okay, Thanks… I’ll— ummm I’ll just go set the table.”

As soon as Remus left, Severus turned to Regulus, eyebrows raised in skepticism. 

“What?” Regulus demanded.

When Severus didn’t respond or change his expression, Regulus shook his head. “Come on, help me set up my new room! I was thinking we could make the walls green!”

A few minutes later, Severus found himself arranging Regulus’ furniture while Regulus focused on charming his wall paper the right shade of green. “Regulus, why are you so focused on the wall?” Severus asked, mildly annoyed.

Regulus turned around, grinning. “When Siri came back from his first year, he not only turned his room red and gold but also my room! This is my revenge!”

“I’m delighted to see you using your intellect and energy where it matters.” Severus said sarcastically. “Meanwhile, I’ll be slaving over your furniture." 

“Fine,” Regulus said. “Let’s switch. You’ll get closer to the true Slytherin colors anyway.” 

Severus wordlessly agreed, moving toward the wall while Regulus worked on placing his bed. 

“So, you agreed to read the letters…” Regulus asked after a beat.

“Yes.” Severus responded, not looking away from the varying shades of green on the wall. 

“Why the change of heart?”

“Black made a good point about people punishing him for crimes he did not commit.” Severus said, pointedly.

Regulus sighed at his friend’s tone. “What are you trying to tell me, Sev?” he asked, bluntly.

“While Black was not kind to you in your youth, he’s not the one to be blamed for your parents’ abuse. If you hold their actions against him, you’re letting them succeed in dividing the both of you once again. Not many people get a second chance like this. My personal issues with him aside, it’s clear he cares deeply for you. Don’t lose your brother again,” Severus said. 

Regulus hesitated before saying, “It’s not that easy… Both mother and father are gone.”

“All the more reason to not alienate the person who is here and not at fault.” 

“What? You want me to go to their graves and yell at them?” Regulus asked bitterly.

“It helps more than you think it does.” Severus replied, humorously. Severus paused, his tone shifting. “Regulus, there is a lot I question when it comes to your brother: his sanity, his intellect, his ability to complete most simple tasks. However, I am forced to admit that I cannot question his loyalty and care for you. Trust me, I have made several attempts to do so.” 

Regulus ran his hands through his hair. “I see your point. And considering you are the one that brought this up, I should mention that he’s loyal to you as well.” 

“Must you jest?” Severus asked, wearily.

“I’m not jesting. ’No! You can’t die, Snape, we still have to finish our fight!’” Regulus’s voice went high in an attempt to poorly mimic his older brother. ‘“Oh, Reggie, let’s take him to Grimmauld Place. He’ll be safe!’ ‘I can’t lose him.’ ‘I’m going to stay by his side all night! What if he wakes up without me?’ ‘Which tea does Snape like?’ ‘Do you think he’ll like the potions lab?’ ‘Talk him out of Albus’ plan, Reggie! I can’t see him go through that.’” His voice returned to his normal exasperation, “Were you both that insufferable as you were first together?”

“Hmm, for some reason, I cannot recall.” Severus said, sardonically. “Now that you’re done mocking Black, do these colors look alright?”

Regulus looked up from where he had placed his new desk to find the room covered in an elegant green with intricate silver floral accents. “Perfect!” The younger boy exclaimed.

“Since you’ve interrogated me about Black, it’s only fair that I return the favor.” Severus said, moving toward Regulus’ suitcase. 

“Wait, you actually think me and Remus…” Regulus trailed off, arranging the decor he had gotten. “He saw his name on my kill list! Hard to recover from that!”

“But you do wish to recover from it…” Severus probed. 

“I don’t know. He’s sweet and kind. We spent some time together when we went back to the cottage last month and then today, too. I enjoy the company.” Regulus completed. 

“He certainly seems to enjoy your company as well.” Severus said.

“I thought you hated him.” Regulus asked.

Severus shook his head, taking out the stacks of clothes from the suitcase and neatly organizing them on the bed. “I hated his silence. Him turning a blind eye to Potter’s wrongdoings. Both back then and even now, with Harry. I agree with your assessment. He can be a kind person, but I would not expect him to pick up a sword for you against the Order — or your brother. Loyalty is often seen as an admirable quality until it becomes a fatal flaw.” 

Regulus considered the words. “Are you discouraging me?” he asked, finally.

“No, not at all,” Severus paused to choose his next words, “Perhaps just warning you of the battles you may face so you can better prepare yourself."

“I’ve seen the way he cares about people, even when we were kids. It’s different… It’s like he’s not afraid to declare it.” Regulus said, conversationally. “Come to think of it, Sirius is like that too. James and Lily too.”

Severus made a noise of agreement.

“What is it about Gryffindor loyalty we Slytherins get so drawn to?” Regulus asked conversationally.

“I have asked myself that many times since mine and Black’s past was revealed. I think we’ve learned to hide our loyalties in an effort to protect them, to not risk harm befalling them. Those  Gryffindors seem to show it off, to dare anyone to put someone they care about in harm's way.”

“Guess not much has changed.” chuckled Regulus. 

“What do you mean?” Severus asked.

“You had to disguise your loyalty toward Harry as hate while Siri embraces his godfather title. You’re a double agent to not reveal your true allegiance while the rest proudly proclaim being Order members. Draco has to hide away while Harry can rome around freely and I suppose the same could be said for me.”

Silence passed as they pondered the heavy words until Regulus spoke up again. “Severus.”

“Hmmm…” the older man replied, still contemplating the revelation Regulus had dropped.

“We don’t– We don’t hide our intentions from each other, do we?” Regulus asked, hesitantly. 

Severus’ head snapped up, meeting his friend’s uncertain gaze. “We’ve never lied to each other as children. You were the first to know when I betrayed the Dark Lord while I was the first to know you were alive. And even now, you were the person I turned to after the truth about 5th year came out.”

Regulus relaxed, feeling lighter at Severus’ words. “I guess you’re right.” He wanted to say more, perhaps about how much he valued their friendship but he had a feeling Severus already knew.

A knock at the door had them abandoning their respective tasks. Harry entered, awkwardly. “Sirius and Draco are back. Dinner’s ready.” 

Severus sighed with relief. 

“Let’s go, Sev.” Regulus said, “I can do the rest tomorrow.”

Notes:

Severus being vulnerable is my favorite but it's also the hardest to write (at least for me). To me, he has these sweet thoughts that he immediately shuts it out.

In my hc, he'll never say something nicely. It will always be disguised as an insult or as a fact so it's important to learn to read what he really means.

As always, LMK what you think!

Chapter 36: Soaring out of Sight

Notes:

So crazy life update: I came out to my parents. It was unplanned and unexpected for all involved. Thankfully, their initial reaction much better than I'd dreamed but only time will tell. It's been a couple of days so I still haven't fully processed what just happened. :)

Draco and Sirius took off, cheering loudly as they flew higher into the sky. Sirius swirled around as Draco shot upward, both men exhilarated. Their eyes gleamed with freedom they hadn’t tasted in a long time. For the first few minutes, they just zoomed around, savoring the feeling of the chilly night air.

“This is fantastic!” Sirius yelled. Draco nodded, doing a quick loop-de-loop and then rushing to Sirius’ side.

“Thank you!” the young boy called and Sirius beamed in response. They spent a couple more minutes practicing various different tricks until Draco flew closer to Sirius. “We should go get dinner. Don’t want the polyjuice to wear off.”

“Oh yeah,” Sirius said, grinning. “What do you want to eat?”

Draco shrugged, keeping his broom steady. 

“Come on,” Sirius insisted. “Don’t be shy!”

Draco hesitated before saying, “Can we get Thai? And also pick up trinkle tarts for dessert? Harry loves them.”

Sirius nodded before zooming away. Draco followed as they fell into a pleasant silence. 

“Enjoying the ride, Draco?” Sirius asked after a moment.

Draco nodded enthusiastically. “Very much so! I’ve never went flying like this.”

“Not even with your friends?” Sirius asked.

“No, father got me a flying tutor. Sometimes my friends would join but the lessons were always… technical, focused on my posture and position. Or for quidditch practice… but never for fun.” Draco said. 

“Well, in that case, we’ll make sure to get more flying time during this break.”

“Did you fly a lot when you were our age?” Draco asked.

“Yeah, mostly with James. Moony wasn’t really into flying and when I ran away, it was one of the only things I could do without being caught.” replied Sirius.

“Was it— was it hard when you ran away? Did you miss them?” 

Sirius briefly glanced at Draco, momentarily forgetting the younger boy was wearing his godson’s face. 

“Yes, it was,” the older man said. “The choice, that was easy… but sticking to it was hard. I had known James for a long time but his parents, as kind and welcoming as they were, still felt like strangers at first. They did things so differently, better but it felt foreign. As far as missing my family, I never missed my parents. I missed the people I wanted them to be. And Reggie? I missed him dearly, though I would have never admitted it.”

“Did you regret it?” Draco asked.

“I’ve asked myself that question too many times today.” Sirius chuckled. Draco caught Sirius’ deflection but decided not to push.

“I assume you’re having similar feelings?” Sirius asked. 

Draco was silent for a minute, then nodded. “I miss them,” his voice cracked, just slightly. “I just have this urge to go back.”

Sirius couldn’t relate. He’d left in such anger that in his first few days, he’d felt like a kid in a candy store with James. It took awhile for the excitement to fade and unfamiliarity to become noticeable. Still, he’d never wanted to go back. Before he could stop himself, the word tumbled out of his mouth. “Why?”

“It feels like an overreaction. They wouldn’t harm me. They love me.” Draco said. 

Sirius’ eyes darkened. “Two things can be true at once, Draco. They can love you and harm you, under the guise of wanting to protect you, or believing they know best. Love can easily turn into abuse in the absence of respect and trust.”

“I respect them.” Draco argued weekly. 

“Do they respect you?” Sirius asked. 

Draco’s control over his broom faltered as he went silent. He quickly steadied himself, meeting Sirius’ concerned gaze. He diverted his eyes, staring straight ahead in an attempt to soothe the tears burning in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked, worried.

“Yeah,” Draco said, “I just have a lot to think about.”

Sirius smiled. “Well, save the thinking for later.” His broom sped up as he zoomed in front of the younger boy. “Race you to the restaurant!" 

Draco leaned forward, rushing to catch up to his cousin. “Hey! You got a head start!”

They landed roughly onto the street, both laughing harder than they had in a long time. Sirius miniaturized the brooms, placing them in his pocket as Draco opened the door to the restaurant. As soon as they entered, Draco stiffened, remembering he was in Harry’s body.

He felt all eyes on him like he was a spectacle to be observed, like any second he would miraculously beat an army of death eaters, rather than just be a teenager out for a meal with his family. No wonder Harry had just wanted to stay home.

“It’s alright. No one’s going to know.” Sirius whispered. “Let me do the talking.”

Draco nodded as they made their way to the register. “Good evening!” the server greeted them.

“Good evening!” Sirius replied. Draco smiled, trying to hide behind Sirius. They placed their order, Draco only speaking to order for himself and Severus.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter!” The server said as they rang them up. “Can we get a picture with you?”

The young boy’s mind scrambled for a response, unsure of how to refuse. In his own body, he would have just made a snide comment. But this was Harry. Kind, gentle, Harry. 

Luckily Sirius stepped up giving his signature charming smile. “Oh, Harry is such a diva.” he said, teasingly. “He’ll complain about how bad his hair looked the whole way home. How about we save the picture for next time. I’ll make sure to have him all dressed up.” 

The server nodded, smiling brightly. “Oh, alright.” they said in faux exasperation. “But do come in when I’m on shift. I’d hate to miss out on the photo.”

“Absolutely! Harry’s people will be in touch with your people.” Sirius winked.

He offered the galleons and picked up the receipt.

“Your food will be ready in fifteen minutes!” 

“Thank you! We’ll peruse nearby and be back soon.” Sirius smiled and led Draco out of the restaurant.

“You did good.” he whispered as soon as they got out of earshot.

“Maybe I should stay outside of the bakery.” Draco whispered back.

Sirius shook his head. “That would just look more suspicious. And Snape will kill me if he finds out I let you out of my sight.”

Draco chuckled. “Yeah, I know you’ve been trying to get on his good side.”

“That obvious huh?” Sirius asked.

Draco nodded, grinning knowingly. “Just so you know, he loves Holiday Blancmange. And since we’re going to a bakery…”

“Alright, I get it. Thanks for the tip.” Sirius said.

“Anytime! In fact, I’m sure we can have many more conversations on what my godfather likes over daily flying sessions.” 

“You are a good negotiator.” Sirius smiled, opening the door to the bakery. “How about we start after the full moon? There’s a lot to do for Moony.”

They picked up the sweet treats and returned to collect their meals. Their server, now busy with another customer, winked at Sirius on their way out. Draco looked between them and studied the order taped to the plastic bag. 

As soon as they stepped outside the restaurant, Draco let out a small whistle. “Seems like you caught someone’s attention.”

Sirius looked up from his pocket, confused. Draco waved the small piece of paper with a floo call number written in pen next to a roughly drawn smile. 

“Give me that!” He grabbed the paper and tossed it in a nearby bin. “Reggie and Moony are going to be a nightmare if they find out about this.” He paused for a moment. “Good to know I still got it though.”

“Did you doubt that?” Draco asked, hopping on the broomstick Sirius provided and hanging the food from it with a quick balancing charm. 

“Well, I haven’t attempted to charm anyone recently, besides Snape and let's just say he doesn’t give me the ego boost I need.” The men were now up in the air. 

“What are you talking about?” Draco asked incredulously. 

“Have you seen him flirt back?” Sirius asked. 

Draco snorted. “Have you seen him say no to you?” he replied. Before Sirius could speak, Draco continued. “All you did was bat your eyelashes and he let me leave the house. I’m pretty sure you’re the reason I got my wand back this morning instead of having to go the whole break without it, and you convinced him to stay at your place! Both now and last month! If anyone else had suggested any of this, he would have given them a look that shut them up for life. Not to mention he fought the killing curse for you. Or at least that’s what Harry told me happened at the museum.”

“So he cares?” asked Sirius.

“Yeah!” Draco said, matter-of-factly. “He’s never going to fawn over you the way your classmates used to. But he’ll listen and more importantly, he’ll trust you.”

“Thanks, Draco. Now I know what signs to look for. Can you tell me anything else about him?” 

“Before I do, tell me what your intentions are with my godfather.”

Sirius laughed bright and open, only to meet Draco’s stern expression. It felt out of place on Harry’s face, nearly catching him off guard. 

“Oh, you’re serious.” 

Draco raised his eyebrow and Sirius relented. “Well, first, my intention is for him to not go to Voldemort’s side, even as a spy. My next intention is to keep him safe. Lastly, I want to fix the past. Make him understand that I never hated him. I still don’t hate him.”

“Hmmm…” Draco said, a bit of consideration and judgment in his tone. “I didn’t hear you say that you love him…”

Sirius spluttered. “I— What? Draco, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. I’ve seen some of my classmates. Wooing people just for the chase but they can’t handle it the second it becomes real.” Draco said.

“We aren’t teenagers.” Sirius grumbled. Draco made a face, still unconvinced. “How much did Harry tell you about what happened?”

“He told me about the memories, if that’s what you're asking. He came clean the night we came to you.” 

“So I can’t tell you I love him because I don’t know. None of us have any memories of that time. All I can say is that I want to get to know him and I don’t want him getting hurt.” Sirius explained.

Draco considered the words then nodded. “He likes compliments.” Draco said. “Not about how he looks or anything like that but he likes to be complimented for his work. He pours his heart and soul into it.”

Sirius nodded. “It’s clear he’s an extremely talented potions maker. The polyjuice hasn’t shown any signs of wearing off.”

“Oh shit! How long do you think it will last? I don’t want to be stuck in Harry’s body.” 

Sirius chuckled. “Tough luck. You should have taken a smaller dose instead of chugging a whole vial.”

“Damn it!” Draco muttered. 

They continued the rest of their ride in casual conversation, laughing and poking fun. Sirius made a mental note to spend more time with Draco during his stay. He, surprisingly, had a lot in common with a Malfoy than he’d previously thought.

Notes:

Thank you and lots of love to everyone who's been commenting. Just reading them makes my day, and knowing people are out there enjoying this is what encourages me to keep going, especially when I'm stuck on the story.

Chapter 37: Mirror Image

Harry came down the steps to persistent knocking on the back door as Remus made his way out of the kitchen. He pulled the door open, coming face-to-face with Sirius and… himself.

“What the fuck!” exclaimed Harry. 

Draco pushed past him as a baffled Harry put the pieces together. “You have another godson you forgot to tell me about?” Harry asked the older man.

“Not unless Moony’s hiding a kid.” Sirius ruffled his hair, stepping inside. 

“What makes you think I’d make you the godfather?” Remus replied jokingly. 

Sirius clutched his chest dramatically, like he was physically wounded. “The betrayal! To think I got you a chocolate fairy cake with chocolate frosting!” 

Remus fondly shook his head, taking the bags from Sirius and sneaking a peak inside. “Your godson just cursed and you didn’t stop him.”

“Yeah, who do you think he learned it from?” Sirius scoffed.

Remus chuckled, “And that’s why you’re not the godfather to my imaginary children.” 

Then, turning to Harry, he said, “Harry, can you call Snape and Regulus down? They should be in Pads’ old room. Draco and Pads, go wash up for dinner.”

Everyone went off to complete their respective tasks. When they returned, Remus had set the table family style. The adults, exhausted from a long day of moving, immediately dug in. 

“How was your outing, Draco?” Severus asked.

“It was really nice, I had a great time. Though we forgot Harry was famous.” Draco replied enthusiastically. 

Harry looked up upon hearing his name. “What happened?” he said with a mouth full of food. 

Severus glared but withheld from giving a lecture on table manners. “The server thought I was you.” Draco responded.

“Obviously,” Harry scoffed. 

“They also wanted a picture,” Draco glared.

“Did you take one?” asked Harry.

“Oh, absolutely! Took my shirt off and posed, too.” 

Harry looked up in horror, only to find his own face grinning mischievously. 

Severus was unamused while Regulus and Remus tried to hold back their laughter but Sirius burst into hysterics, giving Draco a high five across the table.

“Don’t worry,” Sirius said after gaining his composure. “I warded off your fans.”

“And gained a few himself,” Draco smirked, earning Sirius’ glare in return.

“What does that mean?” Remus asked, amused. 

“The server gave Sirius their floo number and he seemed pretty thrilled about it.” Draco said.

Sirius glanced at Severus, who took a bite from his noodles, attempting to feign disinterest.

“Oh, did they now?” Regulus asked with glee as Remus gave an amused chuckle.

“Please!” Sirius groaned. “I threw it away specifically so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Come on, Pads, you used to enjoy the attention.” Remus teased.

“Can we not talk about this?” Harry snapped. “It’s already disturbing knowing so many of my classmates pinned your mugshot on their walls.”

Regulus choked on his food, pointing toward his brother with his fork. “Him?”

At the same time, Remus asked, “Is that why I’ve been asked so much about my time at Hogwarts?”

Harry nodded, wide-eyed. “You and him both have been called dreamy more times than I can count.”

“Is that all?” Draco asked. “Have you heard some of the things the older Slytherins say about Severus? It’s horrifying.” All heads snapped to the potions professor, waiting for a reaction.

“Enough,” Severus interrupted, giving Draco a stern look. “This is not an appropriate topic, especially considering I am your professor.”

“Hey!” Draco raised his hands in defense. “I’m not the one saying it.”

Severus turned to Regulus, “Do you think I need to be more stern with the older students?”

“It sounds like they’d enjoy that.” Sirius blurted out before he could stop himself. 

Severus glared at the man, utterly horrified while the rest of the table burst into laughter. Sirius looked down, suddenly interested in the yellow curry in front of him. "Merlin, no! I didn't mean it like that."

Harry, annoyed with the conversation, decided to change topics, “Hey, Malfoy, how much longer are you going to wear my face for?” 

Draco turned to Severus questioningly. 

“How much of the potion did you take?” Severus asked.

“The whole vial.”

“It will wear off in 12 hours. In the future, take a smaller dose.” Severus replied.

Draco nodded as Harry turned to him. “Wanna floo call Ron and Hermione and see if they can tell us apart?” Harry asked.

“Absolutely!” Draco said, enthusiastically. 

“Wait till after Regulus is back in his room.” Severus said. The boys nodded.

The conversation shifted as Sirius asked a question that had been on his mind for a while. “Hey, Reggie, I have a weird question. The Death Eater masks… how did you all get them? Did he just call a meeting one day and you all popped into an art studio with paints, glitter and stickers?” Sirius chuckled, finding the mental image of death eaters painting masks amusing.

Regulus and Severus exchanged a look as Sirius’ eyes widened. “No way!” he exclaimed, “I’d kill to see mother, father, Bella and Nessy solemnly decorating their masks,” only to get elbowed by Remus. 

“That’s not exactly how it happens…” Regulus said, turning to Severus.

“Black, Death Eater parents have children which the Dark Lord aims to eventually recruit. Sending them to a room where war and murder is discussed is clearly not the best recruitment strategy so they are relegated to more enjoyable tasks such as making masks for their family  members.” Severus explained.

The words seemed to sober Sirius up. “Oh,” he said, solemnly.

“Did you think children just got thrown into extreme anti-muggle born ideology?” Severus asked. 

“I never really considered it. I was thrown into it so I had to escape,” Sirius replied.

“Maybe that’s why you were able to escape. You saw too much too soon. I know that’s what helped me. Well, that and knowing some pretty cool muggle-borns and half-bloods.” Draco said. 

“True, I also love learning about muggle culture. I even have a few records,” Sirius briefly glanced at Severus and then back to Draco. “I think that’s why I started to admire them more. They can make so much without magic. They’ve never treated the lack of it as a barrier.”

“You cannot miss what you do not know, Black.” Severus said. 

Sirius looked away swallowing down the words that had almost made it to the tip of his tongue. Is that why I’m starting to miss you now? Because I hadn’t known I had lost you?

The rest of the dinner went on with more light hearted conversation. A wave of gratitude washed over the adults. After such a heavy day, the two young boys brought much needed enthusiasm and energy. 

Severus offered to clean up as Remus had been the one to set up the table. 

The two brothers decided to reconfigure a basic room for Remus, which, thanks to Draco’s work, did not take too long. Soon after they wrapped up, Severus called for Regulus.

“I need you to give Remus his wolfsbane. It’s ready, it just needs to be bottled up.” Severus said.

“Why can’t you do it?” Regulus asked.

“I would,” Severus stretched his arms, mimicking Regulus’ actions from the previous night, “But I’m really tired.”

“You dare use my own spell against me, Severus?” Regulus said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Severus gave a sly smile. 

Regulus left, retrieving the potion and heading to the living room. The closer he got, the more jittery he felt. Remus hadn't said anything about what he saw in his room or what he found out about his youth. That didn’t mean he wasn’t upset or uncomfortable.

He saw Remus on the sofa, Harry and Draco chatting away next to him. Regulus approached the man awkwardly. “Severus wanted me to give you this.” Regulus offered the vial. 

“Thank you.” Remus gave Regulus a smile as he took the bottle from his hand. In a swift motion, Remus swallowed the potion, making a face as the bitter liquid slid down his throat. “I swear, it never tastes better.” 

“Does it help?” Regulus asked, conversationally. 

“It’s a huge help! The transformation is less painful, I have more access to my consciousness and the injuries aren’t as bad.” Remus said. “I’m grateful Snape is doing this for me despite everything.”

“Trust me, he’s not half as annoyed as you think he is.” Regulus offered a small smile. 

Regulus’ fingers drifted toward the signet ring he had worn after finding it in one the drawers Remus blasted open. He twisted it back and forth in an attempt to get some anxiety out. “About what you saw today…” Regulus quickly glanced at Harry and Draco who didn’t seem to be paying him any attention. With both of them wearing identical faces, he almost couldn’t tell them apart. 

“It wasn’t you,” Remus whispered, confidently. “Or at least, it’s not who you are now. It couldn’t have been you because you weren’t allowed to open a single drawer. Besides, I’ve seen your cottage.” 

An awkward silence stretched on as Regulus felt the urge to flee. “Umm… thanks. I think I’ll head to bed now…” Regulus awkwardly pointed upstairs. “Night!” Regulus ran up the stairs before Remus could reply. And if Regulus stopped by the library to pick up a book on Animagus transformation before bed, that was only for him to know. 

He entered his new room, the weight of the day hitting him with full force. He was safe and he had a space that was his own. 

Sirius found Severus wiping the last few plates by hand. Sirius set the letters down away from the water. “You could’ve just done it with magic.”

“I like the running water. Always found it soothing,” Severus replied, not turning around. 

Sirius shrugged. “I brought the letters. Not all of them, just the ones I read so far. I thought you might want to read them without me and we can take a look at the rest together. It was weird at first,” Sirius knew he was rambling but couldn’t stop. “But then it was kinda nice. I also started getting some memories back. Maybe you will too. You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you? Letting me ramble like an idiot?”

Severus turned to face the other man, trying to hide his amusement. “Yes, I am.” 

“Well stop, or don’t stop. Say something.” Sirius said. 

“I’ll read them. If nothing else, I would like to know the truth.” Severus replied. 

“Great.” Sirius said, not yet ready to walk away from the conversation. 

“Do not expect me for breakfast. I have an invitation from Lucius and Narcissa.” Severus said.

Sirius straightened. “I thought we had decided you wouldn’t go until we had proper safety measures.”

“I will not be meeting the Dark Lord, I am meeting Lucius and Narcissa. If I don’t go, they will assume I am hiding Draco.” Severus replied.

“Snape—” Sirius began.

“I’m not telling you this to seek permission or ask you to talk me out of it. Someone needs to watch over Draco. I’m unsure how he’ll handle this and I refuse to drag Regulus into this war again by giving him unwarranted updates.” Severus said. 

Sirius swallowed his rebuttal and instead settled on a soft, “Okay. Be safe.”

Severus nodded, wiping his hands with a dishtowel and picking up the parchment. “Good night, Black.” 

“Good night,” Sirius replied, watching his retreating figure.

Severus sat at the small desk in his room, picking up the shortest parchment. He read through the first letter, the one where Sirius boldly proclaimed Severus wouldn’t write first and continued to ramble. Severus observed, with pleasant surprise, that Sirius had asked him questions. Questions about getting a job and Lily… The questions didn’t feel judgemental or mean spirited. They had warmth and curiosity, which Severus supposed is why he had decided to write back. Well that, and Sirius’ own thoughts about his family which hit a little too close to home. 

He flipped the letter to find his reply staring back at him: handwriting familiar but words strange. Sirius had said that he remembered… the letters had brought back memories of the records he’d rushed out to buy. But Severus’ mind was black. He remembered his job, speaking to Lily’s father (heavens knows the disappointment in his eyes still haunts him), the parchment shortage. He couldn’t remember receiving the letter — or writing back.

An unsettling thought occurred to him. What if Sirius had made up these letters? He dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. He knew they had written to each other and there was no way Sirius could have known those details.

Severus took a deep breath. He couldn’t rely on his memories, his knowledge anymore. Out of everything, Severus found this the most unsettling. He took a deep breath, starting a body scan. Though his mind came up empty, he felt the smallest amount of warmth flicker in his chest. As he picked up the second letter, Severus chose to do what he hadn’t done in a long time: trust his feelings.

Notes:

I'm really hoping to end this project around December but I can't promise anything. School just started and this is supposed to be my busiest year, so it may not pan like I'm hoping.

Chapter 38: Guarding What Remains

Notes:

2 chapters in 24 hours? I'm just as surprised as you are!

Remus woke earlier than usual, the familiar ache of the full moon settling into his joints despite the wolfsbane. The potion helped, but never enough. Sleep wouldn’t return once he was up, so he padded into the hallway — and stopped.

Padfoot was curled in a ball outside Regulus’ door.

Remus glanced at the door for any sound or movement, then crouched down, grimacing at the crack of his knees. “Pads,” he whispered, running his fingers through Padfoot’s thick black fur. The dog gave a soft snore.

“Pads,” Remus tried again. This time, Padfoot blinked awake, dazed and heavy-lidded.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you to bed.”

He let out a soft whine, but got up. Remus guided him to his room, opened the door, and let him pad inside.

“Change back,” Remus said gently.

The dog tilted his head.

“I want to make sure you’re alright.”

Sirius transformed, rubbing his face with both hands. “Just wanted to make sure he was safe.”

“He’s safe,” Remus promised. “Now, sleep.”

Sirius nodded, eyes drooping, and collapsed on the bed. Remus closed the door with a small smile.

An hour later, Sirius shuffled into the kitchen, hair sticking up, still looking half-asleep. Remus sipped tea and set the Daily Prophet aside. He turned to his friend, giving him a look. 

“It’s fine!” Sirius said, running his hands through his hair. 

“You were sleeping outside your brother’s room,” he said flatly. “On the floor. As Padfoot.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sirius muttered. “Kept dreaming about… what they did to him. How he thought I hated him.” He hesitated. “He came to me. But James turned him away.”

Remus’ eyes snapped to him. “When?”

“On the train. First day of Hogwarts after I left home.” Sirius gave a humorless laugh. “James thought he was protecting me. I’d told him the night before how nervous I was about seeing Reggie. He thought—”

“That wasn’t his call,” Remus cut in. “I would never have kept that from you.”

“You know how James was. If he thought something was wrong, he had to fix it the best way he knew how.”

Remus’ jaw tightened. “Snape, and now your own brother…” His tone turned bitter.

“I know it’s bad, Moony. I just don’t know why he’d do it. It’s killing me.”

Remus studied him. “James had a hard time forgiving people. Maybe he couldn’t forgive Regulus for hurting you. And Snape for—”

“For what?” Sirius pressed.

Remus met his eyes. “For existing.”

The words lodged in his heart. Sirius tried to summon every reason James had given for targeting Severus. The truth was uglier than he wanted to admit. There was no reason except for their amusement.

The sound of footsteps snapped Sirius out of his thoughts. Harry and Draco, still looking like Harry, came into view. 

“Oh look, the double trouble twins!” Sirius said. “Okay, which one is which?”

Both boys plopped onto their seats in an identical manor. “Guess!” they both said. 

Remus and Sirius exchanged a mischievous smile. “I think Gryffindor’s going to win the house cup this year,” Remus said, winking at his friend.

“No way! It’s going to be Slytherin!” the kid on the right exclaimed. 

Harry smacked his hand against his forehead. “That was a trick, you dolt!”

Draco smiled sheepishly and the men exchanged a high-five. “We’ll try it on Snape.” Harry suggested, giving Draco a pointed look. 

Sirius sobered up, eyes darting to Remus. 

“What?” Draco asked, noticing the older man’s strange reaction. 

“He’s gone out,” Sirius said, “He probably won’t be back before the potion wears off.”

“Where is he?” Harry asked. 

“Sirius?” Draco sounded panicked, “What happened?”

“He’s fine. He’s having breakfast with your parents.” Sirius said, hoping to calm the younger boy. 

Draco stood up, his chair falling on the floor with a loud clatter. “What?” He exclaimed. 

“He’s alright,” Sirius said again.

“But— but last time! Harry, you said they tied him up.” Draco turned to his friend, panicking. “Can you see him? Is he okay?”

Remus stood, gripping the younger boy’s shoulders. “He has a portkey.” Remus said. “At the first sign of danger, he’ll appear right here.”

“He told me it was just going to be your parents.” Sirius explained as the younger boy began to calm. 

“So this isn’t about the war?” Draco asked. 

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. Everything was about the war. Each moment, each decision was a war strategy for Severus. But Draco didn’t need to know that. “It’s not about the war.” Remus answered. 

---

Regulus hadn’t slept well in the past month. He’d wake up from nightmares into a room that haunted him even more. That’s why he was surprised to find the sun streaming through his windows when he woke up. A quick glance at the clock told him that he had slept through breakfast. Regulus groaned, stretching his arms high before dragging himself out of bed. 

After a quick breakfast, he and Sirius decided to wrap up the house reconfigurations. 

Soon enough, Sirius and Regulus had created a reinforced chamber with puzzle locks to avoid Moony from escaping. 

“I was thinking you usually had James and Peter for these transformations right?” Regulus asked.

Sirius’ eyes darkened as a wave of grief hit him. Apart from when they first got reunited, this was the first full moon they were going to spend together after James and Lily. He nodded, trying to hide the pain.

“What if you teach me how to be an animagus? I can help during Remus’ transformations and it would keep me safe if I ever had to escape.” Regulus suggested.

Sirius stared. “You’d do that?”

“Why not?”

A smile crept over Sirius’ face, warm and unguarded. “Alright. And maybe Snape would want to learn too.”

Regulus smirked. “We’ll see.”

“Okay, step 1 is to take a mandrake leaf out under the full moon and place it in your mouth. You have to keep it there until the new moon. You can do it tonight.” Sirius said. 

“Perfect! I’m sure Sev has plenty of those. Plus, having something to do might help him relax a bit.” Regulus suggested. 

“Is he worried?” Sirius asked. 

“I think it’s more so the memories. It’s not just fifth year but Remus also forgot to take the potion a couple of years ago. I think he’s scared that Harry or Draco might come down here out of curiosity.” Regulus said.

“Everything keeps on coming back to fifth year.” Sirius sighed. Regulus patted his shoulder in comfort. They continued to work in relative silence until Sirius spoke up again.

“I know you don’t want anything to do with the war, and I promise I’m not trying to drag you back in.” Sirius began cautiously. 

“Siri…” Regulus said, exhausted and exasperated. 

“No, just hear me out! It’s about Snape.” Sirius interrupted desperately. 

“Fine,” Regulus replied.

“I want to make a communication device for Snape. Discreet. In case he needs help.”

“Why me?”

“You’re better at research. And we can’t use the mirror James charmed. It’s too obvious.”

Regulus considered it, fingers fiddling with his ring again. “…Only for Sev’s safety.”

Harry banged on the door before the conversation could continue. “Professor Snape is back!” he yelled from the other side. 

They found Severus on the sofa, Draco kneeling beside him in alarm.

“Tell me what happened!” Draco demanded.

“I tripped,” Severus said coolly.

“But Sev!” Draco was yelling, however one glare from his potions professor cut him off. He sighed, sulking into the kitchen.

“Reggie, think you can get started on the thing we were talking about?” Sirius said without looking away from Severus.

Regulus looked between the two men. If something did happen to his friend, he trusted Sirius enough to take care of it. Not wanting to get caught in the middle of their impending fight, Regulus left without a word. 

Sirius immediately ran through a few diagnostic spells, specifically focused on injury and pain. 

“Is this necessary, Black?” Severus hissed.

“You don’t trip. I know you’ve dodged enough of James’ hexes.” Sirius mumbled. 

While all injury tests came back negative, the pain index was up high. “Merlin, Snape! Why can’t you just say you’re in pain and ask for a bloody potion!” 

“Because I’m perfectly alright,” Severus snapped. 

Sirius scoffed. He marched to the potions cabinet and grabbed two vials of pain reliever. “Drink this.”

Severus placed the empty vials on the table. “Let’s go,” Sirius said, leading them into Severus’ potions lab. Sirius shut the door, casting a Muffliato.

“Someone used the Cruciatus on you.” It wasn’t a question. There was an edge to Sirius’ voice Severus had rarely heard before.

“Bella wanted to make sure I wasn’t hiding Draco,” Severus replied. Sirius stepped closer. He reached for Severus but the man folded his arms across his chest so Sirius dropped his hands by his side. 

“But that’s not all, is it?” Sirius asked.

Severus shook his head. “Narcissa made me take an unbreakable vow.” Before Sirius could interrupt, Severus continued. “I made sure to word it carefully. I’m to guide Draco to safety if I learn of his whereabouts. Which I have already done.” 

Sirius ran his hands through his hair. “I swear, some days, I think I should have tripped Bella down the stairs when we were kids.”

Severus shrugged. “Missed opportunity.”

An awkward silence pressed on as Sirius turned to leave.

“Black.” Severus called behind him. 

Sirius felt his heart pick up as he turned around. “Yes?” he asked, uncertainly.

“You said you remembered after reading those letters. You said some memories came back.” 

“I did.” Sirius stepped closer.

Severus averted his gaze. “I couldn’t,” he said.

“Oh,” Sirius blinked back in surprise. His thoughts started racing. “I promise they’re real.” he rushed to say.

Severus lifted his eyes, meeting Sirius’ own. “I believe you.”

"Oh,” Sirius repeated, much softer this time. “Why?”

Severus opened his mouth to answer but no words came out. He had trusted Sirius but he wasn’t ready to let the man know that just yet. Instead, he said, “If you are done with making changes to the house, perhaps we can read some more this afternoon.”

Sirius cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that had formed. “Yeah,” he said gently, like any more volume would shatter the moment, “I’d like that.”

Notes:

I know the Animagus transformation procedure takes over a month but I'm taking some creative liberties with it because I'm lazy.

Also, spoiler but the next chapter will have the letters! :)

As always, LMK what you think!

Notes:

I do not support JKR.