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Natalie gripped Lottie's hair, pulling her closer, guiding her exactly where she needed her mouth.
With the dorm nearly empty for spring break and the door securely locked, Natalie felt free to let go. Thin walls weren’t an issue today, and her moans spilled freely, loud and raw. They built into a crescendo until her breath hitched, jagged and desperate, nothing escaping her throat but gasps and muttered curses: “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Luckily she didn’t have to worry about a roommate barging in, because the roommate in question was the one whose mouth was currently devouring her pussy.
This kind of scene wasn’t what usually happened in the average dorms, but it was Lottie and Natalie’s normal. Their little secret, hidden away under lock and key.
It hadn't always been like this, though. When they were first assigned as roommates their freshman year, their relationship was strictly platonic. Although Lottie and Natalie came from very different backgrounds — Lottie attended a fancy shmancy all-girls boarding school (which Natalie loved to tease her about), while Natalie went to a public school in a small town in New Jersey — they quickly realized they had more in common than they thought. They got along well enough, helped each other with homework, shared takeout, and talked late into the night when the mood struck. But that was it— just roommates.
Until the day Natalie came home frustrated from a disastrous hookup, mid-way through their third semester.
She dropped onto the couch with a huff, running her hands through her hair. Lottie looked up from her homework, eyebrows raised in silent question.
"It was awful," Natalie announced, without waiting for Lottie to ask. "Fucking Travis couldn't get it up, didn't know what the hell he was doing with his tongue. Total waste of time. I didn't even come. Obviously." She rolled her eyes and tossed her keys onto the coffee table, muttering, "Definitely won’t be calling him back anytime soon."
Lottie tried not to smirk. "Not surprised. Men usually don't know how to get the job done."
Natalie groaned, throwing her head back against the couch. "Seriously, though. How is it possible that not one guy l've been with knows how to use his mouth?"
Lottie chuckled, glancing back at her notebook. She picked up the pen to finish writing a sentence, not looking up as she replied to Nat. "You're gonna be waiting a while if you're holding out for a college guy who knows how to give proper head. You might as well sit down and get comfortable."
"Ugh," Natalie groaned again, louder this time, letting the silence settle between them.
Lottie’s gaze lazily found Nat, who was splayed on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She was immersed in thoughts for a few moments, ones she hadn’t been able to shake since the moment she met her roommate.
She decided to take a chance.
“I can show you, if you want." She suggested, feigning nonchalance.
Natalie turned to face her, narrowing her eyes. "Show me what?"
"What it should feel like," Lottie said, her tone even.
“What? Head?” Nat asked, and Lottie simply nodded, eyebrows raised.
Natalie scoffed, laughing at first, but when Lottie didn't waver, her amusement faded into something closer to curiosity. "...Wait, you're serious?"
Lottie remained silent, her only response being a lick of the lips followed by a bitten lower lip. Natalie stared at her, as if trying to figure out whether this was a joke. It didn’t seem like it.
Considering she had a very frustrating experience moments before, Natalie still needed to be taken care of, and she trusted Lottie enough to be the one to do it. She trusted Lottie not to make a big deal about it too. And after all, Lottie was straight, as far as Nat knew. It was all in good fun.
Roommate bonding, if you will.
She had to admit she was this close to being done with all the college boys she’d been going out with and she needed a fucking break. Plus, she did have a few beers at Travis’ apartment. She could blame it on impaired judgement and convince Lottie to forget all about it the next day, if need be.
After weighing her options, she found that she had nothing to lose.
Finally, she shrugged, shifting in her seat.
"Alright. Show me."
And Lottie did.
Afterward, as Natalie lay catching her breath, mind blown, she looked over at Lottie and asked, "What if I want you to do that again? No strings attached."
Lottie didn't hesitate. "I'm okay with that."
Since then, whenever Nat felt like it, Lottie would be there for her.
So, when Natalie stormed into their dorm that one spring afternoon, visibly stressed, and started peeling off her pants, Lottie didn't even blink. She set her book aside, removed her reading glasses, and made room for Natalie on her bed.
They had both grown so used to it that, three months into their arrangement, they both lost count of how many times it had happened before.
It didn’t take long before Natalie came hard against Lottie’s mouth, her release eagerly caught and swallowed like water on a blistering summer day. Lottie held her steady through the aftershocks, stimulating her clit but careful not to overwhelm her, guiding her gently back down.
When Natalie finally stilled, Lottie raised her head and held herself up on her elbows, swiping her wrist across her mouth. She ran a hand through her messy hair, choosing to stay between Natalie’s bare legs, where she made herself comfortable. She placed her hand over Nat’s tummy and rested her chin on it, watching Natalie’s every movement.
“Well, that was nice,” the blonde said, adjusting the blanket before reaching for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on the bedside table.
Lottie smiled shyly. “Yeah? You wanna do it again?” she asked, a hopeful glint in her eyes, slightly kicking her legs.
“Not right now,” Natalie replied, cigarette dangling from her lips as she struck the lighter.
“Okay.” Lottie nodded, exhaling slowly, willing her heartbeat to steady. She watched as Natalie inhaled deeply, the first cloud of smoke escaping with a sigh.
“I just wanna marinate in this for a while,“ Nat murmured, closing her eyes.
Lottie’s gaze lingered on her — the sheen of sweat making Natalie’s bangs stick to her forehead, her arm draped off the bed holding the cigarette with casual allure, and the way her white tank top clung to her, nipples peeking out. She sighed as she reached for Natalie’s signature safety pin necklace, playing with it absentmindedly, a small smile tugging at her lips.
“You do know this is just casual, right?” Natalie reminded her, breaking the quiet.
Lottie blinked, startled, letting go of Nat’s necklace immediately. “Yeah, of course,” she replied, her tone careful.
“Good,” Natalie continued, exhaling smoke. “'Cause I don't want you freaking out on me, catching feelings and shit.”
Lottie bit her lip and got up, scoffing nonchalantly as her back hit the wall. “I’m not.”
Natalie smirked, tilting her head. “Look, I'm not into girls. I just like my pussy licked, and you like to lick it. That's our dynamic, no more, no less.” Natalie forced herself to say, staring at Lottie, but Lottie didn’t find it in her to meet the stare.
Lottie simply replied “yeah, I get it” and started playing with her own hair. Her new objective was now finding split ends. Definitely not avoiding this conversation.
“I just want you to get it through your head right now—“
“I said I get it,” Lottie snapped, finally looking up. Her voice was even, her expression neutral, but her racing pulse betrayed her. “No feelings whatsoever.”
Natalie raised an eyebrow, grinning faintly. “Alright. Just making sure.” Her voice, roughened by smoke, sent a fresh wave of heat pooling in Lottie’s core, a cruel reminder of how easily Natalie affected her.
“Anyway,” Lottie said, voice quieter now, “I’m not gay either. This is just... It’s fun.” She focused on her hair again, her tone unconvincing even to herself.
She studied Lottie for a moment, striking a new realization. Something she’d been wondering for a while but wasn’t sure about. She had to make sure. And when she wasn’t sure about something, she had the habit of simply asking.
“You know you don't have to hide the fact that you're gay, right? I don't care,” Natalie said.
Lottie froze before glancing up, defensive. “I’m not!” She lightly winced when she realized her words came out sharper than intended.
Natalie didn’t flinch. She exhaled another stream of smoke and leaned back, utterly unbothered. “Look, you can do whatever you want. I just don't want you falling in love with me, that's all. I don't have patience for that type of bullshit, man or woman.”
Lottie forced a laugh, shaking her head. “Don’t worry about it.” She held her hand out to Nat. “Now give me one of those.”
Natalie handed her a cigarette without a word, watching as Lottie lit it with slightly unsteady hands.
"Nat, do you think I'm gay?" Lottie asked abruptly as they walked toward the main library. Her voice was steady, but her grip on the straps of her backpack showcased her nerves, nails digging into her palms.
Natalie glanced at her, eyebrows raised. "Aren't you?"
"I mean, I don't know..." Lottie murmured, avoiding her gaze.
Natalie shrugged, her tone casual but sharp. "Well, anyone who likes pussy as much as you do has got to be gay." She waved her cigarette, the smoke dissolving into the air.
Lottie glanced at her, squinting slightly. "I like guys too, okay?"
"Oh yeah? When was the last time you were with a guy?" Nat took a drag, hips swaying as she walked lazily.
Lottie hesitated, looking anywhere but at Natalie. "Uh... high school."
Natalie smirked knowingly. "And did you like it?"
Lottie’s silence said more than words could. She glanced away, her discomfort palpable.
“That's what I thought,” said Nat, her smirk widening.
She let out a soft, mocking laugh before continuing. “Look, who cares, okay? You like pussy, I like dicks. No big deal.”
“Whoa, whoa. Do you have to be so crude about it?” Lottie frowned, her steps faltering.
Natalie rolled her eyes, turning to look at her fully. “What's that mean?”
Lottie winced but forced herself to speak. “I mean, like— I don't know. You can be… really abrasive sometimes, you know, that's all.”
Natalie scoffed, starting to walk again. “No, that's the way I talk. If you don't like it, too fucking bad. I'm blunt; I call it as I see it.”
They turned a corner, the library coming into view in the distance. Natalie's pace quickened, and Lottie instinctively matched her steps.
"You're an aspiring rug muncher who happens to make me come," Natalie continued, her hands gesturing exaggeratedly. "And I'm a raging bitch who loves cock. You’re the giver, I’m the taker. That's the reality of the situation.”
Lottie froze mid-step, staring at Natalie with wide eyes, her expression caught between disbelief and embarrassment.
”Look," Natalie continued, her voice softening just enough to cut deeper, "the only reason I let you go down on me is because things are a little slow around the dorms lately. And well, frankly, I'm a little bored with the selection of available fuck sticks around here, okay?"
For a moment, Lottie didn't respond. She wrapped her arms around herself, biting the inside of her cheek and staring at the ground.
”Oh, Jesus, Lottie, please, please do not get emotional on me.” She pleaded, exasperated, pacing around.
“I'm not emotional!” Lottie replied defensively, but the quiver in her voice betrayed the statement.
Natalie rolled her eyes. “Yes, you are! I'm a cunt, and you should know that, okay?” She stepped on the cigarette butt. “You're my fucking roommate, for Christ's sake! Have you ever seen me be nice to anyone?”
No one but me, Lottie thought. But she couldn’t say that, could she?
Instead she furrowed her brows, lips pursed like a scolded child, before her expression softened. She glanced down and shook her head slightly. “No, I guess not,” she murmured.
“Exactly.” Natalie gave a sharp nod for emphasis, placing her hands on her hips.
Lottie hesitated, then looked back up cautiously. “It’s just that… you’re so different when we’re fooling around, you know?”
“Well, yeah! That’s ‘cause you’re getting me off,” Natalie replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh, my God!” Lottie groaned, her arms falling limp at her sides as she rolled her eyes dramatically, head falling back.
Natalie smirked, jokingly. “Maybe that’s the only time I can suppress my bitchiness long enough to seem like a decent human being!”
Lottie squinted at her, unconvinced.
“Just in case I haven’t made it clear, Lottie, I’m not.” Natalie’s smirk widened, cutting through the moment. “I’m not like you.”
“Like me?” Lottie’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief.
“You never talk shit unless someone really deserves it,” Natalie said, her tone softening slightly. Lottie smiled faintly, her expression warming at the uncharacteristic compliment. Natalie shrugged. “I appreciate that about you, Lot, but I’m too much of a complainer.”
Lottie chuckled, the tension dissolving into their familiar banter. “Yeah, you are.”
Natalie shoved her playfully as she passed, and Lottie instinctively fell into step behind her, again.
“You do know you’re a dyke, right?” Natalie broke the silence once more as they walked.
Lottie winced at the word, her heart skipping a beat. It was 1998 after all, the term made her rightfully uncomfortable. She glanced at Natalie, conveying annoyance.
“Not a dyke,” she said firmly.
“A little beaver-muncher?” Natalie quipped with a grin.
Lottie rolled her eyes. “I prefer the term lesbian, thank you.”
Natalie seemed positively surprised at the statement as they stepped into the building’s elevator. “Wait— Is that the first time you’ve ever said that?”
Lottie pressed the button, staring at the doors as they slid shut. “What, that I’m a lesbian?”
“Yeah.” Natalie’s gravelly voice sent a shiver down Lottie’s spine. Those damn cigarettes.
Lottie took a few moments, still refusing to look at Natalie. She knew the smaller girl would see right through her masquerade. Natalie didn’t look away, insistent.
“I guess so,” admitted Lottie, though her stomach twisted at the acknowledgement.
Natalie grinned. “Cool. I’m honored.”
“Oh, shut up,” Lottie groaned, stepping out the moment the doors opened. She gripped her backpack tightly, walking ahead. “Don’t make it a big deal.”
Natalie followed with unhurried steps, knowing Lottie would slow down to match her pace.
“Lot, I’m serious, okay?” Natalie said, her voice genuine. Lottie glanced sideways, reluctant.
“You’re being honest with yourself about who you are,” Natalie continued earnestly, though her tone shifted to humor a second later. “I don’t know, maybe a little bit of me is rubbing off on you.” She nudged Lottie with her elbow, even though she knew damn well she wasn’t being very honest with herself lately.
“Oh, God forbid.” Lottie groaned, though a smile tugged at her lips.
”What? As fucked up as I may be, I must have some redeeming qualities, right?“ Natalie bit her own smile back.
“Well, you do have a few.” Lottie tilted her head to look at Natalie and raised her fingers to her face, smirking as she smelled the remnants of Nat’s juices from their earlier encounter. She felt her stomach do a little flip when she heard the laugh that erupted from the blonde.
Nat shoved her shoulder. “You’re such a freak!” Yet she was smiling so much that her dimples made a welcomed appearance.
Lottie didn’t even flinch, having grown accustomed to Nat’s aggressive repartee. She raised an eyebrow and shot back: “And you’re a slut.”
The word didn’t tear up her heart when it came from Lottie.
“Only for you, pretty girl.” Natalie’s flirty tone made Lottie shiver, despite knowing she didn’t mean it, but kind of wishing she did.
She didn’t know how to reply. The thought of wanting Nat to mean it scared her shitless.
As they reached the library, Lottie stopped abruptly, turning to face Natalie. “Just do me a favor and don’t repeat this conversation, okay?”
The hallway was deserted, but Lottie still glanced around nervously.
Natalie nodded with exaggerated seriousness. “Okay. As long as you don’t tell anyone you give me steady orgasms.”
Chuckling, Lottie replied: “Deal.”
“So, what, you don’t want anyone to know?” Natalie asked, shifting her weight and gripping the strap of her crossbody bag. Her voice dropped a fraction. “That you’re gay?”
Lottie crossed her arms, taking a moment to answer. "I just want to do it on my own timeline, you know?" Natalie nodded, her silence encouraging Lottie to continue.
"And besides, it's nobody's business. I am gonna come out eventually," she said, voice firm.
"Do your parents know?" Natalie asked, her tone cautious, but curious.
"Fuck no," Lottie scoffed. "They'd shit a solid gold brick if they found out."
Natalie let out a light laugh. "Well, listen to you, Miss Potty Mouth."
"It must be sexually contracted," Lottie joked, earning a giggle from Natalie.
"But seriously, Lot," she continued, her voice softening. "What are they gonna do when they find out?"
Lottie hesitated, her shoulders stiffening.
"Oh, first they'll probably disown me. Say something about their image. But not cut me off completely — just take me out of the public eye, act like I'm dead to them." She shrugged, though her voice faltered. "Then, after a while, they'll act like they're doing me a favor by sending me to a conversion camp or having me committed.”
Natalie’s jaw dropped. ”Damn. That’s pretty fucked up.”
“Tell me about it.“ Lottie murmured as she finally walked inside the library.
Natalie didn’t follow immediately, frozen in place as she thought about how her mother, her only family left, probably didn’t care about her enough to give a shit if she were gay. In a way, it was freeing. Not less disappointing, but Natalie was used to that feeling.
She shook her head to get rid of the thought and hurried after Lottie, quickening her pace to reach the girl.
Natalie slouched against a bookshelf, sitting on the ground and thumbing through a random magazine she'd snagged from a disorganized pile nearby. Her posture was lazy and her eyes flicked across the pages with a practiced disinterest. Across the room, Lottie wandered along the aisles, her fingers grazing the spines of books as she searched for something specific.
When she finally found it — a worn copy of “Lord of the Flies” for her sociology class — she returned to Natalie’s side. Without a word, she settled down next to her, crossing her legs and cracking open the book to its first pages.
It seemed like they were the only two people around, hidden away in a little corner in the enormous library. The silence between them was the kind that felt more like a shared space than an absence of words.
Then Natalie broke it.
“So... what does it taste like?”
Lottie didn’t look up. “What?” she asked humorlessly.
“Pussy.” Natalie’s voice was casual, as if she were discussing the weather.
The words made Lottie freeze. Her eyes widened, her cheeks flushing a telltale pink that spread across her skin like wildfire. She kept her face hidden behind the book, hoping the pages might shield her from Natalie’s gaze.
“I… I don’t know,” she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Come on, I’m serious.” Natalie leaned toward her, her expression equal parts curious and mischievous. “I wanna know.”
Lottie hesitated before slowly lowering the book. Her dark eyes flicked toward Natalie, her lips curling into a sly smile.
“Well…” She placed the book on the ground, leaned back slightly, and let her gaze trail downward meaningfully, gesturing towards her crotch.
Natalie’s eyes widened. “What—” she sputtered, laughing nervously.
“You wanna know, don’t you?” Lottie replied, her grin widening.
“Oh, come on. I don’t want to know that bad!” Natalie shoved her shoulder playfully. “I’m just curious, that’s all.”
“Oh.” Lottie’s expression dimmed, her teasing giving way to something more contemplative as she glanced away. “I don’t know. It tastes good.” She shrugged, meeting Nat’s gaze again. “I like it.”
Natalie rolled her eyes, the look on her face screaming No shit, Sherlock. “Yeah, I know more than anyone just how much you like it. But, for God’s sake, what does it actually taste like?”
Lottie stared at her, torn between embarrassment and incredulity. “I… I guess it’s… Different. Maybe a little salty? Sometimes sweet. Everybody’s unique.”
Natalie’s lips twitched into a devilish grin, eyes twinkling. “What do I taste like?” she asked, her tone turning sultry.
The words hung in the air, heavy with suggestion. Lottie’s eyes darkened, her gaze flickering to Natalie’s lips before locking back onto her eyes. She inched closer.
The blonde’s cheeks flushed as her bravado faltered. “I just… I mean, it’s gotta be gross, right? It’s a moist cavity between your legs, Lot.”
“A moist cavity?” Lottie repeated, backing away, her expression a mix of amusement and disbelief.
“It is!” Natalie insisted, throwing up her hands. “And it sometimes gets sweaty, so it sometimes smells. It’s just… it sounds a little gross.”
“No, it's not.” Lottie said firmly. “Trust me.”
Silence enveloped the two of them once more as they stared at each other.
Natalie hesitated, her brow furrowing as if she were weighing her next words. “Okay, but—”
“You really want to know what you taste like?” Lottie interrupted, her gaze steady, daring.
“Well, I asked, didn’t I?”
They looked at each other for a few moments as Lottie thought through her next step. Then, without a word, Lottie moved closer once more, her hand brushing against Natalie’s bare leg. Nat’s breath hitched, her heart pounding as Lottie’s touch lingered. Slowly, deliberately, her fingers trailed upward, slipping beneath the hem of Natalie’s skirt.
“Open your legs,” she murmured, her lips hovering near Natalie’s ear.
She complied, uncrossing her legs as Lottie’s hand moved between them. The warmth of her touch sent shivers through Natalie, her breath quickening. When Lottie’s knuckles pressed against her through the already dampened fabric of her underwear, Natalie let out a soft gasp.
Lottie smirked, clearly pleased with the reaction. With practiced ease, she slipped her fingers beneath, gathering the evidence of Natalie’s arousal. Nat finally closed her eyes, opening her legs a little more when she felt Lottie’s middle finger slowly enter her.
Teasing her for a moment, Lottie moved her finger unhurriedly, watching every flicker of expression cross Natalie’s face — the gasps, the parted lips, the tension in her brows. Nat’s fear of being caught only fueled her desire, making her impatient and eager, but Lottie took her sweet time. Then, just as deliberately, the brunette withdrew her hand from Natalie’s soaking cunt, making the blonde’s eyes open immediately, already missing the feeling of Lottie’s finger inside her.
She raised her fingers to Nat’s lips, her eyes never breaking the stare as Lottie made her suck them clean.
Nat almost moaned in delight. It was by far the best flavor she had ever tasted.
And it made her wonder how Lottie tasted, too.
Natalie instinctively looked down at the brunette’s lips for a few seconds, pupils blown and feeling her whole body pulse with excitement.
“You taste…” Lottie whispered hotly, her voice thick with desire. “...so fucking good. Don’t you?”
Natalie’s jaw dropped as she nodded slowly, shivering. She stared at Lottie, mind racing to keep up with what had just happened.
“Okay,” she finally said, her voice unsteady. “I’m no lesbo, but that was really fucking hot.”
Lottie leaned back, her confidence radiant. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.” Natalie nodded, grinning despite herself. “Almost made me want to go down on you.”
“Really?” Lottie’s voice was steady, but her eyes lit up.
Really, Nat thought.
But what came out of her mouth was: “Almost.”
Lottie and Natalie had two rules.
The first was easy: Don’t tell anyone.
The second was harder, a rule born entirely of Natalie’s insistence: No kissing.
“Kissing is a whole other level, Lot. That’s not what we want. Right?” Natalie had said then, her voice soft but resolute as they lay side by side, back when their arrangement was still new. It was only about the third or fourth time they did it.
Their two single beds had been pushed together for more space. Lottie wore pajamas that night — shorts and a whisper-thin tank top in a delicate pink tone that did little to hide the flush spreading over her chest. Nat’s pale skin had turned a deeper shade of red, coloring her whole naked body due to Lottie’s handiwork.
“Right…” Lottie muttered. She was focusing too hard on taming the heat between her own legs and not looking at Natalie, because looking meant she would want to touch her, and she couldn’t. Not the way she wanted to at that moment.
“And you promise you’re fine with nothing in return?” Natalie asked, her voice cautious but firm, as though the answer could shift something unspoken between them.
Lottie hummed, nodding, though her body was so buzzed that she almost regretted the entire arrangement.
But she suggested it first. She couldn’t back down now. Having a little bit of Natalie was better than not having her at all, and all she wanted was to help Nat feel good, to please her, even if it meant neglecting herself in the process. Even if it meant having to wait until Nat left to take care of the mess she left in her wake. Even if it meant pretending.
“So, does your whole rule-breaking thing not apply to rules you make yourself?” Lottie teased, trying to steer her mind away from the fire building beneath her skin.
“Pfft. No,” Natalie shot back, tilting her head to meet Lottie’s gaze with a playful scoff, teasing. “And you’ve never broken a rule yourself, have you? Wouldn’t want to disappoint Mr. Matthews.”
Lottie rolled her eyes with a groan. “Excuse me, I do happen to have broken plenty of rules in my life.”
“Maxing out Daddy’s credit card doesn’t count,” Nat remarked, raising an accusatory finger.
“I bet stealing shitty clothes from TJ Maxx does.” Lottie countered, a sly grin tugging at her lips. Finally, she dared to look at Natalie now that their conversation had strayed far from the boundaries of their arrangement.
“No way,” Natalie said, her laugh bubbling up in surprise “You have enough money to buy out the entire store, you know that, right? And from all the stores in the world to steal from, you chose TJ fucking Maxx?”
“Not my fault their security system sucks.” Lottie replied with a casual shrug. “I like the thrill of it.”
Natalie stared at her, a mix of disbelief and admiration lighting her face.
“Will you at least steal me something pretty?” Natalie asked, her grin lazy and mischievous, like she was daring Lottie to take the bait.
Her answering smirk spread slowly, her expression full of mock seriousness, as if she was giving the idea some real thought.
“Nice,” Natalie said, nodding with a playful glint in her eye, clearly enjoying how easily Lottie went along with her antics.
But she couldn’t look away from Lottie, who hummed in relaxation and slightly shifted for more comfort, settling on the mattress with closed eyes.
A soft breeze made its way through the half opened window, making both of them shiver. Nat couldn’t help but glance down, allowing herself a moment to study Lottie’s figure. The goosebumps caused by the cold gust of wind still lingered and made Lottie’s nipples stiffen, inevitably becoming more visible in the almost translucent excuse of a shirt. The way her body reacted to the sight, blood rushing up to her cheeks and down all the way to her center, was something she couldn’t control nor understand. And she needed the feeling gone.
She set a new rule for herself. All she had to do was work hard enough on deflecting, avoiding and pretending. If no kissing would lower the risks, so be it. She wasn’t even gay, anyway.
After a few beats, Natalie propped herself up on one elbow, turning to face Lottie with a serious expression that sharpened the air between them. Lottie instinctively opened her eyes as she felt the girl hover above her, the demanding tone, the proximity and Nat’s raspy voice making her shiver.
Nat’s tone was resolute. “Break the law all you want, but don’t break our rules.”
Lottie vowed never to.
The dorm room was dim, lit only by the muted glow of a desk lamp. Natalie paced back and forth, her nerves fraying with every second that passed.
Where the fuck is Lottie Matthews?
She never left without warning and never stayed out late, but this time the girl had vanished without a word. Natalie hadn’t seen her since she left that morning, and the strange feelings that had been gnawing at her lately only made it worse. Worry consumed her, leaving Natalie a nervous wreck on the verge of collapse. For what felt like years — but was really just a couple of weeks — she couldn’t stop obsessing over the library incident.
Alright, maybe that was a little dramatic. But still. If it came to mind every single time she looked at Lottie and, considering they were sharing the same two hundred square feet, it was impossible to escape.
Truth be told, Nat was scared.
She was scared of the way her stomach fluttered when Lottie was around, how her palms turned clammy, how her pulse raced uncontrollably. How her words caught in her throat, stumbling out in stutters like she was a babbling toddler. How she coaxed Nat’s walls to come crumbling down without even trying.
It wasn’t shame nor regret. Those were emotions she could handle, could bury beneath layers of sarcasm and distractions. But this? This was deeper. Stranger. It was something she couldn’t quite name, something new and terrifying, and it was gnawing at her.
It was confusing, too. She knew she enjoyed being with men. It didn’t make sense that she felt so drawn to a girl. How was that even possible?
When Lottie finally admitted she was gay, it was as if something cracked open in Natalie’s brain, lighting every dark corner of Nat’s compartmentalized, oppressive, self-loathing mind. Her talk with Lottie had shaken her more than she cared to admit.
She had been lying to herself since the moment the words “no strings attached” left her lips, nearly four months before. She didn’t realize it then, but now…
No, it can’t be.
She had decided to stay away, for her own sake, and for Lottie’s too. Maybe it would all go away if she did that. She would avoid it like she avoided every other problem.
She couldn’t break her own rule.
At first, it worked. Lottie must have noticed, given the curious glances she kept throwing Natalie’s way, but she didn’t press. She gave her space, and for that, Natalie was grateful.
But distance didn’t make the ache go away. It didn’t loosen the hold Lottie seemed to have on her, that constant pull refusing to let her go, no matter how far she tried to run.
She missed her.
She missed how Lottie could make her laugh like no one else. How she could unravel her with just a look, a touch, a sound. Whether it was the genuine warmth of shared jokes or the raw heat of whispered obscenities, Lottie brought out something in Natalie that she couldn’t explain. Something that no one else could replicate, no matter how hard she tried.
And oh, did she try.
She flirted with Kevyn. She called Bobby back. She hooked up with Rick. She went on a date with Austin. She even considered giving Travis another shot after bumping into him at a bar.
But none of them came close.
None of them were Lottie.
Lottie, who was so out of her league and yet just close enough to reach. Lottie, with eyes like pools of melted chocolate, legs for days, a skilled tongue and expert fingers, and a laugh more beautiful than any melody. Lottie, who deserved much better than the self-destructive idiot Nat saw herself as.
The sound of the door creeping open rescued Natalie from the imminent spiral.
Lottie walked in, her hair slightly tousled, cheeks flushed from the cold night air. Natalie froze mid-step, her arms crossed tight over her chest as she turned to face her.
“Where the fuck were you? It’s 2 a.m.,” Natalie demanded, her voice sharp enough to cut through the silence.
“Out,” Lottie replied flatly, kicking off her heels by the door.
“Where?” Nat pressed.
“None of your business.” She barely looked at Nat.
Natalie examined the girl, from her shiny hair and perfectly applied makeup to the black dress that hugged her body just right and exposed her toned legs. Her mouth dried at the sight of Lottie, but all she could say was: “Is that a new dress?”
“Yeah.”
A dry laugh escaped Natalie’s lips, bitter and sharp. “Who are you trying to impress, Matthews?”
Lottie smirked, peeling off her jacket and tossing it onto her bed. “I met a girl last weekend at the dive bar.”
“Pfft. Is that so?” Natalie scoffed, though her stomach twisted.
“Mhm. Her name’s Laura.”
“Yeah? Good for you,” Nat muttered, though the words came out hollow. In a surge of courage, fueled by adrenaline and the haze of sleep-deprived irrationality, she added, disdainfully: “Does she get you off?”
“What if she does?” Lottie crossed her arms daringly, but Natalie didn’t move an inch. She stared back, nostrils flaring and face reddening.
Lottie’s brows shot up as she stepped closer, her tone crooked in feigned innocence. “What? Is there something wrong?”
Natalie said nothing, her jaw tightening as she averted her eyes.
“There was never a rule about us not seeing other people, if I remember correctly,” Lottie added, her voice edging toward irritation as her expression twisted into mockery and indignation. “And if there was, you’d have broken it already. How was your date with Rick, by the way? Or was it Austin? There were so many, I can’t seem to recall which is which.”
Nat chuckled humorlessly. “Little bitch,” she muttered under her breath, her tone venomous.
Lottie exhaled sharply, throwing her hands up as her voice raised. “I don’t get you.”
“What?” Natalie snapped, her voice rising.
“First you ignore me for two weeks. Now you’re suddenly so interested in where I was, who I date. Make up your fucking mind, will you?”
“I don’t fucking care who you date!” Natalie’s voice cracked with the force of her words, anger spilling over like a dam breaking. She herself knew by then that she was lying.
Lottie’s expression hardened, her eyes glinting with something unspoken. “You know, it’s my fault. I never should’ve agreed to your terms. I knew this would end up blowing up in my face, and I still let it happen.“ She let out a huff that could have been mistaken for a laugh, one that mocked her own ingenuity. “Maybe I was hoping it’d go differently, that you’d come to your fucking senses soon, that you’d realize you feel the same way, but I was clearly wrong, wasn’t I?”
Natalie could only scoff, shaking her head slowly as she stared at Lottie with a sharp gaze. Feel the same way?
She had to take a few deep breaths, trying to handle the chaos that her mind had become. Still, she stayed silent, absorbing everything.
Lottie looked impatient and hurt, soft and small, eyes wide in unease. Her voice faltered as she asked again: “What do you want from me, Nat? I just said what I felt.”
Natalie stared at her, chest heaving as her fists clenched at her sides. “I want you to say less, Lottie. A lot fucking less.”
Lottie’s jaw tightened, her voice low and cold as she took a step back. “You got it.”
“Wait— no.” Natalie stepped forward, grabbing Lottie’s arm to stop her from retreating. Her ears buzzed with adrenaline and she could feel the blood boil beneath her skin. Her voice softened, trembling as she continued, “Look at me. I want you to shut up—“
She tightened her hold around Lottie’s wrist before demanding: “—and fucking kiss me.”
Nat’s eyes were glossy and, for a second, Lottie could swear they turned from anger to pleading.
Lottie blinked, her resolve wavering as her eyes searched Natalie’s face.
She froze in place, heart skipping a beat and jaw dropping and closing as she stuttered her way out of a sentence. Her gaze dropped to where Natalie held her wrist as if for dear life and her heart sank.
There were so many things she wanted to say. “Fucking finally” was one of them. “Thought you’d never ask” was a strong contender. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of that. A flicker of doubt still lingered in the back of her mind, a paranoia parasite.
All Lottie could mutter, barely above a whisper, was, “I promised I wouldn’t break your rule.”
Natalie’s grip tightened, her voice dropping low, raw and unsteady. “If you won’t, then I will.”
She didn’t wait for an answer. In a single motion, she closed the distance between them, pushing their bodies together. Her hands found either side of Lottie’s face, steadying her, claiming her. Then Natalie kissed her — fiercely, fervently, as if she’d been waiting forever. And she had.
Lottie froze for a heartbeat, her breath caught in her throat, but the hesitation evaporated as her hands slid to Natalie’s waist. Her nails dug into the other’s skin, anchoring them both to the moment. Their mouths moved together with an intensity that was almost desperate. It was hungry, unrelenting, unstoppable.
Nat was right about kissing. It changed everything.
When the need for air pulled them apart, they stayed close, foreheads brushing as they panted for breath. Natalie’s hands fell to Lottie’s neck, her fingers curling loosely against her skin. Their gazes locked, heat lingering in the air between them. Nat’s mind rushed a mile a minute, filled with doubt, but at that moment, none of it mattered. Nothing mattered but the fact that Lottie kissed her back.
Lottie’s expression softened, but her hunger didn’t fade. She reached up, tucking a strand of Natalie’s golden hair behind her ear with care that belied the fire still burning between them. She licked her lips, her eyes never leaving Nat’s, before leaning in again.
This time, there was no hesitation. No restraint.
Each kiss fanned the flames higher, and with every touch, their rhythm grew wilder.
Nat separated their mouths only to remove her signature white tank top, uncovering the red bra that drove Lottie crazy. Lottie took a second to stare, mouth agape. She almost drooled at the sight before going back in with more urgency than before. Her hands were restless, moving to explore everywhere she could reach.
It wasn’t long until Natalie started to take a few steps backwards, trying to reach a bed — whichever one was closest. Soon her knees touched something and she let herself fall, opening her eyes as soon as her back hit the mattress only to watch as Lottie slowly lowered herself. The brunette maintained eye contact as she placed her limbs on either side of Natalie’s body.
Nat started moving backwards until she reached the pillows, her heartbeat rising and chest heaving as Lottie crawled on top of her with a predatory stare.
Natalie almost growled at the sight, right before she reached for Lottie’s head and pushed her down aggressively for a desperate kiss. She could barely keep her legs apart at that point, trying to get as much friction as she could as the fire grew inside her.
Letting go of Natalie’s lips abruptly, Lottie leaned back and sat on her heels, smirking at the sight of Natalie beneath her — so needy, so breathless. She missed this. It always pleased her to top Natalie, to see her like this. But tonight… She was much more desperate than she had ever been. And angry. You could almost see the fire in the darkened canvas of Nat’s blown pupils, but… Vulnerability hid behind it.
“You’ll finally let me have my way with you, hm?” she cooed, lazily moving her hand around Nat’s torso.
“Lottie, please…” she panted, reaching for Lottie’s thighs with both hands, starting to scratch the smooth surface of her skin.
“I’ve been waiting for this, you know…” She drew out her words.
Natalie shakily nodded, feeling goosebumps erupt from every inch of skin as Lottie’s fingertips traced gentle patterns down Nat’s arms and uncovered tummy. She felt helpless and powerless under Lottie, and it made her stomach twist with desire.
She knew she wasn’t in control anymore.
It didn’t scare her as much as she thought it would— it excited her.
Being completely at Lottie’s mercy, knowing anything could happen, the fact that Lottie could do with her as she pleased, it all excited her.
The thought made her squirm.
Lottie stared at Nat’s perfect bouncy tits like deer to headlight. She wasted no time at all before leaning down and peppering wet kisses and little bites along the pale skin of her chest, earning gasps from Natalie. She made her way up to Nat’s neck and back to her mouth, placing a splayed hand atop Nat’s chest to stop her from arching her back so much.
She nipped at Natalie’s lower lip until little droplets of blood were dripping from her fangs. At that, Natalie hissed, but moaned deliciously just as quickly.
“So desperate, baby…” she whispered to Nat’s ear. “We’re only getting started.”
Natalie felt goosebumps as soon as she felt Lottie’s hot breath brush against her skin. “Lottie… I’ve w-waited long enough…”
“And for that you’ll be rewarded.”
She leaned in for another kiss, slower now that she asserted her dominance. Natalie could only obey and maintain that pace, following the other’s lead. The taste of Natalie’s blood lingered and made Lottie feral.
Since Nat had arched her back yet again, Lottie took it as her cue to find the bra’s clasp, which she undid with no difficulty. Natalie quickly shimmied her arms out of the piece, allowing Lottie to easily dispose of it by throwing it on the floor.
“So beautiful…” whispered Lottie.
She made her way up once again, sucking bruises on Nat’s neck as her right hand played with Nat’s sensitive nipple. She twisted it and made slight pressure teasingly before giving it a big generous squeeze, and grinned when she heard Natalie’s low, guttural moan.
Lottie decided to start with the breast she had just been playing with, right before her lips finally made contact with Nat’s chest. She circled the hardened nipple with her tongue before diving in with such desperate hunger that could only be matched by a person stranded in the wilderness for 19 months. As she sucked, grazing it with her teeth once in a while, she tended to the other breast with her free hand. She took her time giving equal attention to both and, the more she took, the more she wanted. Especially when Nat was making such pretty sounds.
It almost made her want to give Natalie what she wanted at that very moment. Almost.
But she liked teasing her, drawing out every gasp, every moan, knowing they were all for her.
So she continued to make her way down Nat’s torso, claiming every inch with a bruise or a bite mark or a mouthy kiss. All the way down while she slowly tugged at Nat’s sweatpants. She only gave her covered pussy one slight bite before removing the second to last piece of clothing, having adjusted her position to do so more efficiently.
After she carelessly threw the sweatpants behind her, Lottie stopped to stare at Natalie, almost fully naked for her. The sight never ceased to spark something within her.
Adoration. Utter and complete adoration.
Who had she been trying to fool for the past, what, year and a half? However long it had been since Lottie first laid eyes on Natalie, she realized, was the same amount of time it took to develop such admiration towards the smaller girl.
Lottie placed herself between Nat’s bare legs and grazed her fingertips along them with a teasing smirk, pleased at the way Nat’s chest heaved up and down with anticipation.
”Lottie…” Nat murmured.
“What is it, doll?” Lottie circled her finger around the red panties, pulling them for a second before…
“I’m begging you, please—“ her breath hitched in her throat when Lottie let go of the fabric, letting it snap against Nat’s flesh.
“Use your words, pretty girl.”
She had to take a deep shuddering breath, exhaling as she spoke again in a low, sultry tone: “I need you.”
Lottie seemed to be pleased at the response, because her next step was carefully placing her hand beneath the underwear, cupping Nat’s pussy. Lottie was met with wetness and it made her groan, both basking in the delightful warmth.
With glinting eyes, she commanded: “Say that again.”
Natalie only heaved, trying to move her hips for more contact without even opening her eyes, too in it to speak.
“Natalie,” crooned the brunette, adding force to stop the other’s movements. “Look at me,” she demanded.
Nat’s eyes shot open in an instant.
“Do you want me to move my hand?”
She nodded aggressively, eyes pleading.
“Then fucking do as I say. Am I understood?”
Natalie shivered, nodding again. “Yes, Lottie. I need you so fucking bad, please—“
Her sentence was cut off by a moan when Lottie inserted both her middle and ring fingers. She didn’t move them immediately, allowing Nat to adjust first.
“So wet for me, baby. Taking my fingers so well…” she praised hotly. “Tell me when to move, okay?”
Even in her whole domme act, she still prioritized Natalie’s comfort. And that made her, to Nat, even hotter.
The blonde let out a whiny moan in response, enjoying being deliciously filled for a few moments before she herself started to move her hips. Lottie noticed and started to move in tandem, slowly and intentionally.
She knew Natalie always wanted more, faster, more aggressively. But not yet. She wanted to enjoy this, draw it out. She wanted to show Nat that slow and steady — perhaps with a hurry only near the finish line — won the race. She wanted to blow Nat’s mind one more time, on her own terms.
Lottie placed herself above Natalie properly again, her lengthy arm stretched out, so she could capture Natalie’s plump lips on her own to swallow every moan.
Not that she cared about noise. She just wanted to kiss Natalie again, to make their lips numb and swollen, just because she could. She finally could.
She released Nat’s lips and catched her breath before she started deepening her thrusts, only slightly quicker as well. Nat’s gasps echoed the sounds of Lottie’s fingers as they drew in and out of her.
“Fffuck, yes— Keep going,” Natalie managed to grumble, holding onto the mattress as she kept rolling her hips.
“Needy girl…” Lottie cooed as she sustained her pace skillfully, holding herself up on her forearm — almost on all fours if not for her hand working towards Natalie’s undoing. She felt herself get wetter by the minute, seeing Nat like this. “You look so pretty, all breathless for me.”
Natalie whimpered. “Yes… Need you, Lot… Only you…” she admitted in a hazy state. It only served to fuel Lottie’s drive. “M-missed you so much…” she muttered under her breath, unbeknownst to the brunette.
“You’re all mine, aren’t you?” she suggested, her tone all provocative as she dragged her palm along Nat’s swollen clit.
“Yeeeess,” she moaned loudly. “All y-yours… Please… Don’t stop…” Her words came out dragged.
Lottie smirked and looked down at her coated fingers for a second, enjoying the sight of it disappearing inside the girl beneath her. It was going in and out so easily.
“You’ve been so good for me, think you deserve a third, baby?” She said sultrily, letting her hot breath scrape against Nat’s skin. Nat only shook her head positively, murmuring: “Hmmph, please...”
It was enough of an answer for Lottie, who quickly slammed a third finger along with her thrusts, earning a big, loud moan from Natalie. The loudest yet. Possibly the loudest, most whiny moan Lottie had ever coaxed out of her.
“You’re the only one I want, Nat.” Lottie breathed out earnestly, closing her eyes for a moment. She tried to maintain a steady breathing pattern as she quickened her pace. Natalie arched her back, starting to shake as her toes curled. She felt like a knot tightened deep within her.
Lottie gave Nat’s pussy a little slap as the girl went over the edge. “Cum for me,” she ordered.
Natalie didn’t need to be told twice.
Even if she was a noisy girl, her best orgasms were always quiet, consisting of aggressive panting, whimpering and trembling.
Lottie helped her through it by slowing down and stimulating Natalie’s clit with her thumb. “I’ve got you, my good girl,” Lottie murmured close to Nat’s ear.
Once the smaller girl stilled, Lottie raised her fingers coated with Natalie’s slick and mouthed them, sucking every last drop while maintaining eye contact with a hungry-looking Nat. She then leaned forward, held Nat’s jaw and kissed her fervently.
Natalie moaned as soon as her own taste hit her buds. She wrapped her arms around Lottie, forcing the girl to lean down on top of her. The blonde then switched their places in one single motion.
“I want to taste you,” she panted breathlessly, her voice hoarse from all the moaning, face inches away from Lottie’s.
Lottie nodded aggressively in response, wide eyed as her heart raced in her ribcage.
Natalie grinned excitedly. “Lead the way.”
With firm but gentle guidance, Lottie led Nat through her first attempt, her voice a steady anchor in the storm of new sensations. “Just like that,” Lottie murmured, her fingers threading through Natalie’s hair, her touch equal parts encouraging and grounding. “Use your tongue— slowly, yeah, right there. That’s perfect.”
At first, Natalie moved cautiously, her inexperience making her hesitate. But Lottie’s quiet moans and whispered affirmations chipped away at her nerves. “You’re doing so good,” Lottie said, her voice trembling with pleasure. “Don’t stop, Nat. Just a little harder now.”
Natalie adjusted, tilting her head and experimenting with pressure, her shyness melting away as she gained confidence. Lottie gasped sharply when Nat found the perfect spot, her hips instinctively shifting closer. “God, yes— like that,” Lottie breathed, her hand tightening in Nat’s hair.
Encouraged, Natalie grew bolder. She figured out when to suck and when to tease, when to bite gently just to hear Lottie’s breath hitch. “You’re such a fast learner,” Lottie managed to say between gasps, her voice cracking as pleasure overwhelmed her.
As Nat found her rhythm, the tension in Lottie’s body built to an unbearable peak. “Don’t stop, Nat,” she begged, her tone a mix of desperation and awe. “I’m so close— just like that, baby, please—”
And then it hit. Lottie’s orgasm slammed into her like lightning, her body arching as waves of ecstasy rolled through her. Her grip on Natalie’s hair loosened as she let out a low, trembling cry, her chest heaving with every ragged breath. Already sensitive from their earlier time together, Natalie’s efforts had pushed her past the brink, every flick and tug deliciously amplifying her release.
When Lottie finally stilled, her body trembling from the aftershocks, she looked down at Natalie, who was smirking proudly. “Guess I’m a natural,” Nat quipped, her voice low and teasing.
Lottie chuckled, still catching her breath. “Natural doesn’t even begin to cover it,” she replied, tugging Natalie up for a deep, lingering kiss.
As Lottie was trying to catch her breath, Nat dropped beside her on the mattress. They both stared at the ceiling for a couple minutes, regaining consciousness. Finally, Natalie broke the silence.
“I shouldn’t have waited so long to do this, but now I get why I did.” She looked over at Lottie with a crooked grin. Lottie raised her eyebrows, urging the other to continue. “I guess part of me knew that my stubbornness wouldn’t survive this.”
Lottie offered her a soft smile.
Playfully, Nat added: “You’re better than any guy I’ve ever been with, but you know that already, don’t you?”
With a cheeky grin and a shrug, Lottie replied: “I told you I get the job done. You shouldn’t have taken me for granted, Bratalie.”
Nat giggled at the nickname she so dearly enjoyed (but only when it came from Lottie).
“Despite all your stubbornness… I’d have waited an eternity to have you how I wanted to,” added Lottie, turning to her side. She propped her head on her right hand, held up by her elbow, while her left moved to gently caress Nat’s naked skin.
“Would you? Weren’t you so done with me half an hour ago?” Nat chuckled, choosing to stay on her back. She placed her hands behind her head, lounging.
“Forget that and let me be romantic!” Lottie smiled when Natalie laughed at her sentence. The brunette then reached for the safety pin necklace, starting to play with it.
And Natalie let her.
Lottie hummed comfortably. “I’m so glad I have you all to myself now.”
“You should be. I’m awesome.” Nat shrugged smugly.
Lottie squinted her eyes, malice in her tone. “You didn’t deny that you’re all mine…” she pointed out.
Natalie blinked, locking eyes with Lottie, who could’ve swore she saw Nat blush, even if she was already all red from their nightly activities. Nat exhaled before answering, a shy smile tugging at her lips: “Yeah, I guess I didn’t. And that Laura chick better watch out. I’m not sharing you.”
“What does that mean? That you’re my girlfriend now?” Lottie’s tone wasn’t demanding now. It was soft. She had that hopeful glint in her eyes again.
Natalie huffed a laugh. She definitely blushed this time. “Maybe… Well, you haven’t even taken me out on a date yet, so I guess not,” she joked.
“Natalie Scatorccio…” Lottie said in a serious tone. “Will you make me the happiest woman on earth and go on a date with me?”
Her giddiness countered her attempt at solemnity. Nat placed her hand over Lottie’s atop her chest and intertwined their fingers. She shot Lottie an earnest look before replying:
“Since you asked so nicely…”
An ear-to-ear smile elasticized Lottie’s face, her expression so full of joy it could have lit up the entire room.
She shifted closer, placing her head on Nat’s chest beside their intertwined hands. As she exhaled contently, her breath was warm against Nat’s skin, carrying the kind of serenity Lottie had once thought she’d never feel again. For a second, she just let herself bask in the sweetness of the moment — their tangled limbs, their shared warmth, and the steady rhythm of Natalie’s heartbeat beneath her ear.
That sound, so alive and resolute, felt like a promise.
It filled her ears, steady and strong, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Lottie allowed herself to believe in something more.
When sleep finally claimed her, it was to the comforting thought that Natalie’s heart might just beat for her.
For Natalie, the moment was equal parts terrifying and intoxicating. Lottie’s weight against her felt grounding, her warmth seeping into Natalie’s skin like a balm she hadn’t known she needed.
She wasn’t used to this — letting someone in so completely, letting herself feel so exposed. But as Lottie’s fingers remained intertwined with hers and her breath brushed against her chest in soft, even puffs, Natalie felt something she hadn’t felt in years: safe.
It was strange, this pull Lottie had on her, a mix of vulnerability and strength that made her want to keep her close and push her away all at once. But right now, with Lottie’s head resting over her heart, Natalie didn’t want to fight it.
She let herself believe, even if just for tonight, that maybe she deserved this — deserved her.