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There's a visible tension in the air when they step into the dorms that Haejoon knows they can both sense.
The police officers did offer to drive Eunyung and him back to the dorms, both as a way to get them there safely and to also defend them if they were questioned about being late.
However, they both knew they wanted to get away as soon as possible. Plus, he wanted to stop for some food on the way back. Eunyung excitedly suggested Burger King as soon as Haejoon told him he was paying. Apparently that fucker’s bottomless pit of an appetite doesn’t go away even after the most depressing event.
Unfortunately, Haejoon’s wallet very much has an end (And even more unfortunate, the sheer amount that Eunyung ordered brought it to its early grave.)
The tone of the evening was surprisingly light considering all that happened only a few hours beforehand. But after taking a foot in that building, he swears that he got whiplash from the change.
Eunyung shrugs off his coat in the room as Haejoon also puts away his.
He tells him that he’s going to take a bath. Haejoon lets him go. But there’s an unexplainable gnawing feeling in his stomach as he watches him trudge out of the room
After an hour or so passes, with no sound emerging from the bathroom, anxiety builds within him
‘Did that fucker drown in there?’ he thinks.
But with each passing minute, the dread eats at him until the mental image of Eunyung actually dying in the tub causes his feet to move before he can think.
A million thoughts rush into his head as he knocks on the door once. “Eunyung.”
He calls again, much louder this time. ‘Oh fuck, oh shit, please,’ and the consistent silence replies back once more.
He shakily grips the handle and tries one more time, “Alright, just make a sound and I’ll leave you alone.”
Again.
Haejoon can't stand the deafening silence anymore as he turns the handle, “I’m coming in, Eunyung.”
He wasn't sure what he was expecting, or hoping for, when busting open the door. It was just anything other than Eunyung's lifeless body floating in the water. Anything but that. Haejoon shivers at the visualization.
Instead, the scene in front of him is something he can't exactly place as better.
Eunyung won't look at him. Or make any noises for that matter. He just continues staring out into the swirling transparent water around him. Haejoon has come to find that a quiet Eunyung is much scarier than a loud one.
It's an eternity as he stands there watching Eunyung, as Eunyung does everything in his power to look everywhere but at him. It's a game they play for a while until Haejoon can't take it anymore.
“You need to get out of the bath eventually.”
Eunyung is surprisingly quick to reply, “I think I want to stay like this for a while.”
Haejoon sighs and pinches the space between his nose and eyebrows. “You've been in there for what, an hour now? I'm sure the water has gone cold. Do you know how dangerous that is? You could get sick really easily-”
“It's over…right?”
He doesn't understand.
Eunyung takes a small glance at Haejoon before quickly looking back. He finally opens his mouth to continue, “I mean, you reported them and everything, so I'm sure those fuckers aren't going to be after me anytime soon,” he scoffs, “Unless they're way more seriously fucked in the head than I originally thought. I know it's over. Why doesn't it feel like it's over?”
Oh.
Something about seeing Eunyung like this, so exposed, he finally realizes that all walls of his deteriorated in an instant. He doesn't know how to build them up anymore. His soaking hair naked of those red accessories tears away any figment left of the wallet-stealing-guy he used to be.
Haejoon has no idea what step to take now.
Instead, a distant memory suddenly recalls to him. One of him and his mom and the wave of comfort that always lingered around her. This is probably why he acts without thinking next.
“Do you want me to help you?” he offers.
This time, Eunyung turns his head from the watery abyss and actually looks at him. His eyebrow is raised and mouth agape as he goes, “What?”
The embarrassment follows quickly after and he begins thinking about how exactly he ended up in this situation asking this question in the first place. But Eunyung's still waiting for a clarification, and at least he got his attention this time.
“Do you want me to help wash you?” he repeats. “My mom…she always helped wash my hair and stuff when I was having a bad day or just plain feeling bad about myself. It- it helped a little.”
Eunyung blinks and Haejoon is positive that he's calculating all the different ways he would rather jump out of a window than respond to his question. But apparently, this day is full of surprises, as he answers with a simple, “Okay.”
“...Okay.” Haejoon mimics back in confirmation.
“But if you stare at my dick, I’m going to kill you for real.”
“Dude who the fuck do you - Do you seriously take me as some kind of pervert?”
Eunyung only glares.
“Fine, I promise I won't look at your dick or do anything weird. I’ll just wash your hair or whatever.”
Eunyung curtly nods in response.
“So, do you have any shampoo or…any products around?”
He points behind Haejoon, “They’re in that cabinet over there. I put them behind the toilet paper cause all those other guys kept using them up.”
Sure enough, he finds them. Stuffed all the way back behind the pile as if they’re a stash of gold. Seeing their designs and lists of all their benefits, he can tell they’re expensive.
“How much did you exactly pay for these?”
“Around 200,000 won.”
His jaw hangs open, “...Holy shit.”
Eunyung rolls his eyes, “I didn’t fucking steal them if that’s what your thinking.”
Haejoon raises his hands in defense, “I’m not.”
“I had extra won left over from that modeling job. They even gave me some of those products for free before, so I knew they were good. I didn’t steal them.”
“I didn’t even say anything.” He pulls the wooden stool around the tub and seats himself behind Eunyung, “Do all products like this cost that much?”
“Only the good ones.”
Then he smirks and rapidly bats his eyes, “Did you seriously think all of this came naturally without any hard work?”
“Hard work, my ass. This is probably the only thing you’ve consistently upkept.” He pops open the conditioner. It smells good, kind of like strawberries.
“You’re supposed to use shampoo first and then conditioner. It removes all the dirty stuff.”
“Oh.”
Haejoon has never had any experience with all this stuff. His mom bathed and washed him up to eight years old and from then on he’s been regularly using three in one shampoo you can grab for 6,000 won.
He takes the shampoo instead, similarly scented and squeezes it into his hand.
He’s hesitant to touch Eunyung. All the times he’s done it before was either to fight him, or hold him back from fighting anyone else. He warily lowers his fingers into the blond hair.
Haejoon feels Eunyung stiffen under him. He begins moving his fingers, untangling the strands as carefully as he possibly can. Eunyung’s shoulders slightly drop, and after a while, Haejoon thinks he actually started leaning into the touch.
It’s a steady action. Washing hair.
It used to take Haejoon great strength to be weak and gentle. Eunyung is the one to thank for helping him stabilize it. He has no need to flaunt himself anymore. Because truth be told, he's weak, and he's always been weak. But now, he has the opportunity to not hide it. He’s glad to be able to do it.
He can’t help but steadily explore Eunyung’s body with his eyes as he carefully kneads the shampoo in. There’s scars and cracks and bruises on every corner. Then his eyes finally land on two large blemishes on both knees. Their sharp edges are nearly faded but the middles are still a dark pink.
There’s a strike of anger that courses through him. Two whole fucking stations. Two whole fucking stations he went crawling because he was that desperate to get that money back.
He wonders if the other scars have similar stories. And if there was once more than what he can see, but managed to fade into his pale skin.
Haejoon realizes he’s accidentally stopped shampooing. Eunyung, however, catches his staring and quickly clasps his legs together, “Die.”
“I wasn’t looking! Seriously!” he sputters as the heat rises up and Eunyung stares with the most disgusted expression he has ever seen anybody make.
“I was- your knees. Do…do they still hurt?”
“Nah. I mean, they're basically fully healed at this point.” he shrugs.
Haejoon steadily lines his fingers around them. “Yeah. That's good. It must've hurt a lot.”
When he looks up, Eunyung’s looking at him with this expression that he isn't quite sure what to make of. His mouth opens, then closes again–like a weird looking fish–and purses them in a line.
“Stop always looking at me like that,” Eunyung mutters.
“What?”
He scowls, “You always get that fucking- I don’t know, hurt puppy dog eyes sometimes. It annoys the crap out of me.”
“What the hell does that even mean.”
He stares at him with the utmost offended look like he’s saying, ‘I cannot believe you’re this dense.’
“How do I even make that face?” he asks, mildly curious as to what Eunyung will say.
“It’s like- your eyes will droop and you get this unbelievably annoying expression identical to a depressed kicked puppy.”
Haejoon cracks a smile. “Do I seriously look like that?”
Eunyung blinks without a word before quickly turning his head to avoid his eyes. “Jesus- I swear I need to invest in a portable mirror soon so you can see for yourself.”
He hums as he continues stroking the product into his hair. The sweet strawberry smell carries onto his hands. Once he figures he’s done a good enough job, he picks up the conditioner next.
“You know, it’s not really fair,” Eunyung says.
Haejoon patiently waits for a continuation.
“I’m all naked and shit...do you know how fucking weird this feels? Might as well, I don’t know, even the playing field and take off your shirt or something?”
Haejoon gapes. “And who’s the fucking pervert now?”
Eunyung scrunches his nose, “Okay- dude, stop trying to make this freakier than it already is.”
‘Is this guy deadass.’
He genuinely doesn’t have the energy to argue back anymore. So he reluctantly pulls off the white shirt and folds it on the bathroom counter before seating himself on the stool again.
The boy doesn’t seem to have much to say anymore. Almost as if he’s shocked that Haejoon actually listened.
“Rinse it out now.”
Haejoon takes the connected shower head and makes sure the temperature is a nice warm. He brushes the shampoo out as the water flows through the curls.
Next, he squeezes the conditioner and repeats the same action of massaging it thoroughly, starting from the scalp. His mother always washed his hair like this.
It must be nice to be touched again like this. He always did look forward to his mother suggesting to pamper him like this when he was being picked on again. Or when he was generally not feeling well. Her touch was so, so kind, and the tingling as she kneaded his scalp with this nice shampoo was even kinder.
But then, his mind wandered to a thought if Eunyung’s mother ever did touch him with such gentleness as washing hair. He tried his hardest to push that thought away.
Rinse and repeat with the shower head, until he waits for the next set of instructions.
“We’re done,” Eunyung says.
“Oh.” That was that then.
Still, he can’t help but feel as if he needs to do more.
“Do you want me to dry your hair too?”
“Might as well. Just get my clothes over there.”
Haejoon glances at them scattered across the ground “But they’re on the floor.”
“So?”
“They’re dirty.”
“Not really seeing your point here, buddy.”
“I just spent all that time bathing you and you just-? You know what, it’s whatever. I’ll get you new ones.”
When Haejoon enters their dorm room, he sees a new message notification sent a few minutes ago.
Juwan: How’s he feeling?
Me: Better.
Me: I think.
He opens the closet door for a shirt or something. He finds nothing except for a singular pair of pants left. He grabs it and scans the room for anything that isn’t littered on the floor or tossed into the hamper.
With a sigh, he reaches into his own dresser and pulls out his shirt. They should be about the same size.
He quickly grabs them and returns to the bathroom at the exact moment Eunyung finishes up wrapping himself in a towel as droplets drip down from his hair.
Haejoon holds out the clothes and Eunyung takes them into his hands in confusion, “This isn’t my shirt.”
“I know. It’s mine.”
His eyes widen in surprise.
“Won’t it kill you not to leave everything dirty and actually clean your shit?”
“Thanks a lot.” He rolls his eyes but gingerly holds the clothing closer.
“I’ll leave for now. Call me when you’re done.”
When he hears his name called, Eunyung already has the hair dryer taken out and is looking at Haejoon expectedly.
The warmth that breathes out causes Eunyung’s hair to gently blow. He gently ruffles the blonde’s hair to make it dry faster. Another flash of his mother.
The blonde really is a pretty color, he realizes. As a matter of fact, Eunyung is a really good looking guy overall. It’s a strange realization to come to after bathing him, he thinks. Especially considering the fact that he didn’t notice Eunyung was good looking beforehand.
If Haejoon didn’t know any better, and if Eunyung wasn’t such a little shit, he would say that he was actually prettier than most girls he knew.
His hair is long and silky and while Haejoon doesn’t know a single thing when it comes to beauty products, he knows the ones he uses make his hair extremely healthy.
It’s strange that so many adults were adamant about him cutting it.
It’s pretty.
Haejoon sees Eunyung say something in the reflection of the mirror. He shuts off the hair dryer for a second.
He repeats what he was saying, “You’re doing it again.”
“Hm?”
Eunyung simply points at the mirror.
Oh. Haejoon can kind of see what he meant with the eyes now.
“Huh.”
“Told you,” Eunyung hums in satisfaction.
Haejoon quickly turns it on and blows it into the other’s face at max level. No way was Eunyung going to get the satisfaction again, not on his watch, he smiles.