Work Text:
~~~~~~~~~~ 2017 ~~~~~~~~~~
Pierre takes a deep breath. He has to do this now before he loses his nerve. “I want to break up. I don’t want to be boyfriends anymore”, he breathes.
Esteban stares at him blankly, “you’re making a joke? It’s not funny PJ”.
Pierre flinches at the nickname and almost breaks. Subconsciously his hand falls on his lower stomach, “it’s not a joke, Esteban”. He says his name with purpose. He had not used it in years. Not since they found out they basically have the same name, Pierre Jean-Jacques Gasly and Esteban José Jean-Pierre Ocon-Khelfane, Pierre Jean and Jean-Pierre, that’s when they became PJ and JP. They were only 11 years old then.
Esteban frowns “I don’t understand, Pierre, but I love and I respect you so I’ll let you go”.
Pierre nods, “see you around”. He walks away. It’s a weird way to end a relationship that started in childhood and Pierre really, really does not want to, but he can’t risk ruining everything for Esteban as well.
His next stop is Red Bull who have been so kind in their support and sponsorship. It’s not as big of a problem as Pierre had thought. He can’t race or enter super formula but he can be around the f1 team more which is the ultimate goal anyway.
On 3 November 2017 he gives birth to a baby boy. Pierre names him Jean-Pierre Laurent Gasly-Ocon, maybe it’s a little on the nose for someone who doesn’t want to tell the baby daddy he’s a daddy but if Pierre can’t have Esteban anymore, he at least wants their son to have his name.
Pierre calls him JP for short and it’s not like he’s doing this all alone. He’s got his friends’ full support. Max and Daniel are over the moon excited when he asks them to be JP’s godparents. A role they take very seriously.
Max also sometimes lets Pierre cuddle with Daniel when he’s having a tough day, happy to spend a day out with the adorable baby.
As far as racing goes, it’s easier to get back in the car than he expected. There is always someone willing to watch his son. Pierre avoids Esteban at all cost and his friends know nothing besides Pierre got pregnant and then they broke up. Max assumes it’s Esteban who did the breaking up, something which baffles him and makes him angry. Charles is more silent in his distrust for his best friend’s ex but whenever Esteban tries to inquire about how Pierre is doing Charles cold shoulders him and turns silent.
Esteban feels frustrated and angry. He keeps thinking back to the last few days of their relationship. What had he done? Why did Pierre leave him? He could never find the answer.
~~~~~~~~~~ 2022 ~~~~~~~~~~
When Pierre signs with Alpine, he only has his career on his mind. He comes home to Monaco and picks JP up from Mama Leclerc. Alex, Charles’s girlfriend is here too. Pierre often travels with Charles. As his son, a carbon copy of his dad, hugs him close, it dawns on Pierre. “Oh no”, he lets out. “What?”, Charles looks confused, “did we forget something on the plane?”. Pierre shakes his head, “Esteban, he uhm, well you know and I can’t”. He cuts himself of hugging JP tighter. His son squirms “papa!”. Pierre sets him down gently. Alex smiles at him, “I don’t mind. Even if I am at a race weekend. It’s always a pleasure to spend quality time with my favourite nephew”. JP giggles and gives her a big hug.
Charles pats his shoulder, “see? It’ll be fine”.
JP grins at Pierre from the safety of his Auntie Alex’s arms, “papa? What about daddy?”. Pierre takes a deep breath, “well he’ll be my teammate next year”. JP nods, “but I can’t meet him yet, right?”. Pierre strokes his cheek, “I’m sorry. You get to stay with Auntie Alex and grandma Pascale”. JP nods then giggles, in that mischievous way, only two people Pierre knows, can. “I want to come to the race on my birthday!”, he smiles at Pierre sweetly.
Pierre sighs softly, “we’ll see about that”.
~~~~~~~~~~ 2024 ~~~~~~~~~~
It’s easier than Pierre expects it to be. He maintains a professional and courteous approach to the work at hand. Esteban is just happy that Pierre is willing to be professional and media trained about this whole situation.
Their private life never comes up and if it does Pierre excuses himself from the conversation, that way JP never comes up.
Pierre has one problem at home the Brazil GP aka JP’s birthday weekend comes up a lot. Last year Pierre managed to hold it off with a surprise visit from his brothers and their partners and kids. JP got showered in love and attention, by his uncles, including Max, Daniel and Charles who wear that title just as proudly as Pierre’s own brothers.
Pierre hides it from JP this year but he’s already planned everything. It’s a risk, which Pierre knows and has thought through. It could destroy the professional and semi-friendly relationship, that he has built with Esteban. The day he’s leaving he packs JP’s suitcase too. JP is under the impression he will be staying with Auntie Alex. As excited as he is to spend his whole birthday with the puppies Simba and Leo, He is slightly upset Pierre won’t be there. When they go to pick up Charles and drop of JP, Alex is waiting there outside with her suitcase too. JP looks at Pierre, “papa! Auntie Alex coming so me too?”. Pierre nods and his son flies into his arms briefly, before crawling over him and greeting Alex and Charles.
JP bounces around just as excited as Simba. The doodle puppy was JP’s ‘early and only birthday present’, Pierre had said, insistent on keeping the trip a surprise till the last moment.
The car is a little full with two puppies, a bouncy 7, nearly 8-year-old, and 3 adults but they manage.
JP is the only one in the Ferrari garage in merch from another driver. The team turned a blind eye to it. He’s clutching his auntie’s hand. The race had been tense. But his papa is in third on the final lap. JP watched with an intense focus and jumps and cheers loudly when the flag is waved. He grins up at Alex giving her his best puppy eyes, “auntie? Can we please go meet papa? It’s my birthday”. He’d been using that reason multiple times today already, but Alex could never say no to JP’s puppy eyes.
Alex strokes his cheek, “okay let’s go”. She runs to where they are parking their cars the same way she would for Charles. JP clutches her hand. Mechanics part ways for them, lifting the boy over the fence. JP runs to Pierre as he jumps off his car.
Pierre grins happily as he swings JP on his hip. JP excitedly pats on his helmet. Pierre laughs and spins them around in a circle a few times.
Esteban turns back to the cars looking for Pierre after hugging his mechanics. His heart stops. It feels like he’s looking in the mirror staring at the boy in Pierre’s arms and that’s when it clicks. Pierre sets the boy down briefly to take his helmet off. The boy hugs him around his waist, bright smile. Pierre picks him up to walk to the officials, engaged in excited conversation with the boy and sets the boy down again to get weighed and then walks over to greet his mechanics.
JP happily clings to his papa’s arm. Pierre’s eyes meet Esteban’s as he comes closer. Esteban takes a deep breath and pulls Pierre and the kid, their kid, into a hug, “PJ”, he mutters out. It’s all he can manage, the old nickname. Pierre revels in the hug for a moment “JP”, he whispers back. JP pulls on his sleeve, “what papa?”. Pierre laughs softly and picks JP back up, “it was his nickname before it was yours”. JP giggles and snuggles close.
Esteban would have kissed Pierre right there if it hadn’t been for all the cameras. They are ushered to the interview and then the cool-down room. Esteban can’t stop watching Pierre and JP, yet he somehow still ends up losing sight of them for a moment.
JP squeals as he sees Max and runs into his arms, climbing into his lap, “uncle Max!”. Max hugs him tight.
Esteban turns the corner and looks curiously at Pierre, “so? PJ? That’s why we broke up?”. Esteban is smiling brightly. Pierre exhales sharply and gives him a nod, “I never wanted to leave but I could not ruin your career too”. Esteban shakes his head and steps closer, “oh Pierre, we would have found a way. I understand but we would have, and look at us, we’re on the podium”. Esteban’s thumb traces small circles over Pierre’s knee. It’s almost a reflex, something Esteban know comforts Pierre.
Pierre nods, “I never stopped loving you”. Esteban smiles more, “I never stopped loving you either”. Max laughs holding JP close, “oh just kiss and make up already!”. JP giggles loudly, “yes papa! Kiss daddy!”. Esteban look at JP then back at Pierre, “he knows too?”. Pierre nods, “yeah, I just I thought I couldn’t tell you and by the time I thought maybe I can it was too late”.
Esteban shakes his head, “it’s not too late. Let me prove it to you?”. Pierre gives him a small nod and Esteban closes the distance kissing him short and sweet. Pierre sighs happily, he goes to say something but JP breaks free from Max’s embrace and launching himself into Esteban’s arms, “I can finally hug daddy now”. Esteban barely flinches under the force of JP’s hug and holds him tight, “hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you”. JP snuggles closer as he feels his papa sneak under one of Esteban’s arms joining their hug. “Best birthday ever”, he giggles.
They are called to the podium too soon and Pierre isn’t upset when JP refuses to let go of Esteban. He wishes he could cling onto him like a stubborn 8-year-old too. Esteban smiles, “coming on the podium with us?”. It’s more a question to Pierre than JP. Pierre smiles, “of course! It’s his birthday”. JP giggles loudly, “but don’t want spray in my face”. Esteban smiles softly, “you can use my cap to hide your face”.
Max walks out to the podium, followed by Esteban still carrying JP and lastly Pierre, who cannot stop smiling and looking at Esteban and JP, takes his place on the podium. JP stands in front of Esteban, his heels softly pressing into Esteban’s feet. Esteban rests his hand on JP’s shoulder. He feels a happiness like never before course through his body and it’s not just because they made the podium after a difficult season. He’s done that before, but he’s never stood on the podium with the love of his life and their son, driving for the same team on top of that. He wipes at his eyes quickly.
He accepts the trophy and let’s JP hold it with him. Then he hands JP his cap before spraying Pierre and Max. JP squeals and hides behind him. Esteban keeps him close, shields him. He can’t help it when he sets the bottle down in favour of pulling Pierre close by his waist. JP leans into his side hugging Esteban’ waist. They both smile at Pierre so brightly. The similarities between them are undeniable. Pierre laughs, “God! You two look so much alike”. Esteban smiles more, “I am so happy”. It’s all he can say.
They leave the podium together. JP bounces in between them holding both their hands. JP destroys the whole ‘sit in your podium places’ rule with one pleading look and a death grip on both Pierre and Esteban’s hands. Pierre laughs softly when JP stretches himself out over both of them like a long cat. Off course it raises some questions.
“we have an extra guest. I did hear that it is your birthday, JP?”, the moderator says after the first round of questions. JP grabs onto Pierre’s mic, “it is! And papa and daddy and uncle Max did the podium together for me!”. Pierre laughs and kisses his cheek.
“for those who don’t know you? can you tell is who you are?”.
JP grins and sits up a little more, “I am Jean-Pierre Laurent Gasly-Ocon and I want to be just as good as my papa and daddy at racing! They are my heroes. And I am 8!”.
Esteban’s heart stops when he hears JP say his full name. He looks at Pierre and tears up. Pierre takes his hand in his own and squeezes.
“that makes you emotional Esteban?”.
Esteban takes a deep breath, “there is no one in the world I love more than these two and to share this with them today is very special”. Pierre nods, “we are just the two little boys from Normandy still, it is very special to be here together and to share it with our son”.
The rest of the questions are a bit of a blur to Esteban, but as soon as they are excused and away from the prying cameras he pulls Pierre close. Max takes it upon himself to scoop JP up, “lets give papa and daddy a moment”.
Esteban looks at him with tears in his eyes, “his name?”. Pierre nods, “Jean-Pierre Laurent Gasly-Ocon, is that okay?”. Esteban nods, “it’s perfect”. Pierre sighs relieved and kisses him soflty. Esteban presses as close as he can. They are swept into the media pen after, JP refuses to let go of either of them so they just do interviews together. JP starts to fall asleep halfway through and Esteban saviours the feeling of JP sleeping in his arms.
Late that night, they make it back to the hotel, to Pierre’s room. They tuck JP in and Simba curls up beside him. Pierre watches for a moment then he pulls Esteban to the sofa, where Pierre talks for over an hour about everything. “I kept journals for you, I wrote in them every week, every day sometimes. With pictures too”, he says eventually. Esteban had been listening to him closely, the pain, the fear, the long labour and everything after. He pulls Pierre closer, “I am excited to read them. I respect you for the decisions you made and I am grateful we found our way back to each other”. He picks his words carefully. Pierre smiles up at him, “you’re really not upset?”. Esteban shakes his head, “no, I don’t know how I would have reacted 8 years ago and the man I am today is very different from the boy I was then. I’ve always loved you, I never stopped, and I’d like to think I would have been there for you, but I don’t know. I want to be there for you now. I want to be a part of your lives, if you will let me”. Pierre nods, “I’d love that”.
Esteban pecks his lips. Pierre smiles, “I’d also love a shower. Join me?”. Esteban grins, “always”. It had been a while since they had seen each other naked but as soon as the bathroom door closed behind them and they stripped off their clothes, it was like they just picked up where they left off. Esteban kisses Pierre deeply. Pierre’s hands roam over Esteban’s body. It’s familiar yet different, they’d both racked up some more experience since they were together, but nothing had ever compared to their first love. To be here together, it felt like a hazy dream.
Esteban smirks softly as they both come down from their orgasm, “that is possible the best sex I’ve ever had”. Pierre grins up at him lazily leaning against the cold tiles, “it’s the love thing, it makes it so much better”. Esteban laughs softly, “yeah, I will always love you”. Pierre grins, “I know. I missed you”. Esteban sighs softly and snuggles close letting the water patter around then, “I missed you so much too. Out of all the reasons I could think of, this never crossed my mind and it’s the one reason I can understand and accept”. Pierre smiles softly, “you have me… You have us back now. We’re never leaving you. I think in one day you instantly became his favourite parent”. Esteban kisses his cheek, “wait till I introduce him to Marvel and Spiderman. Or have you?”. Pierre shakes his head, “I have not. I think you’re more suited for that job anyway”. Esteban kisses him softly and strokes his thumb over Pierre’s lower stomach.
Pierre hums happily into the kiss and pulls away with a smirk, “if you’ve knocked me up again…”. Esteban laughs, “then I would do anything to prove to you to let me be a part of everything this time”. His hand strokes over Pierre’s stomach. Pierre nods, “I’d let you if you proposed”. It’s only half of a joke because he knows for sure he wants to marry Esteban. Esteban grins at him, “in a heartbeat. Of course. I will. I want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you”. Pierre kisses him softly, “I want that too”.
Esteban washes Pierre gently then himself which proves a challenge because Pierre is clingy. Esteban doesn’t mind. They each put on boxers and a shirt and cuddle up in the bed. JP is in the middle with Simba. Pierre is happy to curl around his son, pressing his cold toes against Esteban, on JP’s other side. Esteban smirks and whispers, “even missed your icy toes”. Pierre supresses a laugh and leans over JP to kiss Esteban softly, “night”, he grins before settling in the bed. Esteban watches Pierre and JP sleep for a while, until eventually he falls asleep too.
It’s been 5 weeks since Brazil. It’s the Monday morning after the Abu Dhabi GP and Pierre has missed his period by about 15 days. So, he bought a test, or rather he asked his trainer, who had handed it to him two days ago. Pierre had hidden the box. He’d wanted to do it as soon as he could get his hands on a test, but then as soon as he did he got nervous.
Esteban is playing with JP and Simba in the hotel room. It was weird not having Esteban in the garage, but it was okay too because Esteban was in his bed every night. Pierre didn’t want to get in the habit of taking JP to races, but with Esteban not racing and it being the last race of the season and the school holiday starting, it was never really a question. He can hear them laugh. Simba lets out a soft playful bark.
Pierre looks back at the test in his hand. He’s pregnant. They had sex once, in Brazil, and he’s pregnant again. He doesn’t know how he feels. He is still thinking about how he wants to tell Esteban, when the bathroom door swings open, “need pee”, is all the explanation he gets from JP. His son drops his pants and climbs on the toilet. He leaves the door wide open and normally Pierre might have said something, anything. But he is still staring at the stick in his hands.
Esteban peaks his head in, unlike JP, he does notice the stick in Pierre’s hands. He walks over and kneels in front of him, gently taking it. He looks at the box and back at the test a few times, “positive”, he breaths out after a moment of silence. Pierre nods, “yeah”. Esteban grins up at him. He puts the test on the edge of the bathtub besides Pierre and takes his hands. “my love, will you marry me?”. It makes Pierre laugh and cry at the same time, “yes of course, yes, a million times yes”. Pierre leans down and kisses Esteban deeply.
Simba bounces into the bathroom, curious to where all his humans went, just as JP flushes the toilet. JP pulls his pants back up and ruffles the dog’s fur on top of his head. “Papa? Why are you crying?”, he asks. Pierre and Esteban break apart and look and at JP. Pierre smiles, “we’re really happy, because I have another baby in my tummy. You are going to be a big brother. You have to keep it secret for a little while okay?”. He pulls JP close and gently boops his nose. JP giggles, “I am gonna be a big brother!”. Esteban nods, “you’ll be the best big brother ever”.
They get married in the French country side before Christmas, Pierre is surprised and impressed with how quickly his mother whips up a perfectly decorated winter wonderland in a family friend’s barn for the reception. It’s perfect.
They tell their parents the morning of the wedding that they are expecting and both their mothers cry and do a little happy dance together. It makes Pierre cry too. They coo and fuss at his tummy for a good few minutes.
The day after the wedding Pierre and Esteban plan to tell Max, Daniel, Lance, Mick, Charles and Alex. JP is excited, hiding his ‘big brother’ shirt under a zip-up hoodie. Pierre grins when their best friends are settled around the table. Esteban lifts JP up and stand him on the chair. He proudly unzips his hoodie, “am gonna be big brother!”. Charles and Alex both gasp and cheer. Lance smirks, “congrats”. Daniel is frantically digging through his purse. He exclaims triumphantly as he pulls out something that looks like a polaroid, “I am so excited!”. He gets up and rushes to Pierre showing him his own echogram, of his latest check up. Max watches Daniel like a hawk. “we are pregnant too!”, Daniel grins. Pierre just hugs him close and lets out an excited yelp.
JP looks at Esteban a little confused, “what happen?”. Esteban scoops him of the chair, “I think uncle Maxy and uncle Danny are having a baby too and Papa and uncle Danny are very excited about having their babies around the same time”. JP grins, “me too! I get two siblings!”. Esteban doesn’t have the heart to tell him that’s not exactly how that works.
~~~~~~~~~~ 2025 ~~~~~~~~~~
Pierre and Daniel spend a lot of time together lounging in the Monaco sun, preferably on the same sun bed. Daniel had read somewhere that sitting close bumps touches was really good for babies, especially when the birth givers are close too. Pierre enjoyed the cuddles.
Max and Esteban made sure they had everything they could want. Even if Max and Esteban were away at race weekends they’d arrive for someone to be there with them. JP copies his daddy and his uncle Max a little. He brings them drinks and even tuts at Daniel a few times when he wants to pick stuff of the floor. It just makes Pierre and Daniel laugh.
In the last month of Pierre’s pregnancy, Esteban introduces JP to the Spider-man comics. JP is instantly super excited. They read the comics together every spare second, they get. One night, JP climbs in bed next to Pierre, “papa, why you never read me Spider-Man?”. Pierre smiles softly, “you like it?”. JP nods enthusiastically, “love it!”. Pierre kisses his cheek, “daddy loves Spider-Man too”. JP frowns at him, “papa not love Spidey?”. Pierre shakes his head, “Not as much as you and daddy”.
JP frowns more, “daddy!”. Esteban walks into the bedroom, holding a comic in his hands, “papa not love Spidey!”. Esteban supresses a laugh at the grumpy face JP pulls. He sits on the bed, “well, why don’t we read some here and show papa how cool Spidey is”. JP nods and snuggles close to Pierre, “baby gonna love Spidey too”, he kisses Pierre’s bump. Esteban winks at Pierre and settles on the bed next to them, starting to read.
Pierre and Esteban settle on a name pretty quickly when they find out it will be a boy too; Jean-Jacques Pascal Gasly-Ocon, JJ, for short. It fits perfectly. This time, despite all Pierre’s worries, the birth goes a lot smoother. Maybe it’s because he’s home, in their house in Switzerland, with his mum and Esteban’s mum, a midwife and two nurses by his side. Esteban is playing with JP. He was ushered out by their mums. Pierre tries not to think about last time, alone in the hospital for hours. It’s easy not to think about it when JJ is out in under 2 hours. Pierre holds him closely and someone brings in Esteban and JP. Everyone else seems to disappear, Pierre only has eyes for his husband and his sons.
The first time, JJ meets Joy Sophia Ricciardo-Verstappen goes even more perfectly then they can hope. The two babies, Joy only 5 weeks older than JJ, curl close to each other the second they are in the same crib. Pierre takes a lot of pictures. Daniel grins, “see! Told you the bump bonding thing works!”. JP gets to hold Joy and JJ with Esteban supporting his arms a little. Pierre takes even more pictures and promises to send all of them to Max. The one where Esteban kisses JP’s cheek and JJ is reaching his tiny arm up to their faces becomes Pierre’s favourite.
Alex already loved babysitting before, but now with JJ, she’s even more excited. When she holds JJ for the first time she grins at Charles, “can we make one too, Please?”. Charles laughs, “in the future, yes. I know you’ll be an amazing mum”. His friends and even his mother catch on too.
They are babysitting so Pierre and Esteban can enjoy a date-night. Alex is rocking JJ in her arms, “please? Can I have one too?”. Charles laughs softly. It seems like Alex has already forgotten that this is the fourth time she’s had to go pick him up since they put him to bed. Alex shifts and hold JJ right up to Charles’s face, “look him in the eyes and tell him he is not the most adorable? I dare you”. Charles laughs more and strokes JJ’s cheek. He gently takes JJ from Alex’s hands and holds him close on his chest. “you’re super cute and I fear that may have given your auntie Alex baby fever”. Alex laughs softly and leans close, “but you look so precious with a little baby on your chest”.
It just so happens shortly after that, JP and JJ attend a race weekend with their auntie, watching from the Ferrari garage every session. JP is really getting into karting now so he drinks in as much knowledge as he can. Charles has a tough session, it’s only Friday, but it’s still tough. He climbs out of his car and takes his helmet off. His eyes fall on Alex. She is gently bouncing JJ, cooing at him. JP has his arms wrapped around her waist grinning up.
In that moment Charles wants nothing more than to walk up to her one day and have that be their baby, not his best friend’s. He takes long strides, ignoring his engineer. “let’s do it”, he says ones he’s close to her. Alex looks at him, “do what?”. Charles smirks, “have a baby, I want it too. You are so amazing with them. I want to see this every day”. Alex smiles brightly and pecks his lips, “let’s do it”.
On JP’s 9th birthday, he gets the best gift from his auntie Alex and uncle Charles. It’s a hoodie with the text “best big brother” underneath it is an illustration of a boy, two toddlers and a tiny baby. JP squeals loudly, “one, two, three? But only have 2 siblings?”. None of them had ever had the heart to tell JP that Joy is not really his sister. Alex strokes her tummy, “number 3 is in my tummy”. JP hugs her close and then plants a big kiss to her tiny bump, “can’t wait to meet you!”. Charles is getting crushed in a hug by Pierre, “I am so excited”. Charles smiles, “me too!”. Daniel grins, “we definitely have some super cute dresses, Joy grew out of too quickly if it’s a girl”. Pierre laughs, “oh same here, if it’s a boy”. The rest of the day is filled with laughter and excitement. JP wears the hoodie every day for a whole month, Pierre and Esteban wash it while he sleeps.