Chapter Text
[10:32am]
Group chat name: 7 deadly sins
mingyukim: guys
guYS
GUYS
WHY IS THIS GC DEAD CMON
officialnonu: we are pretty much alive but too busy for your drama
scoupsdetat: wonu stop
mingyu please proceed
mingyukim: thank you only man ever
dear nonu I hope you step on a lego nd bleed out
therealhan: classy
mingyukim: so since all of you are so curious about the best day of my life
I arrived
and I haven't seen him yet but I just
yknow
I can FEEL him
prd_woozi: are you thirsting rn?
i am out bye
booseungclown: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THE HAO™
mingyukim: THE ONE AND ONLY
jesus I'm sweating wtf
therealhan: are you nervous lmao
mingyukim: pfffffffffff
officialnonu: this morning he texted me and i quote
I AM GOING TO SEE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I AM PISSING
unquote
mingyukim: that was because I was ACTUALLY PISSING AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME
but anyway I don’t expect yall to understand
officialnonu: you are so gross and i will be sure Minghao knows
scoupsdetat: i think it is very cute that Mingyu has a crush 🥰
mingyukim: it’s not a crush!!!
therealhan: oh no it’s way past that by now
you are totally in love with him
mingyukim: >:C whose side are you on even
therealhan: on the side of drama of course
officialnonu: mingyu and hao sitting on a tree
pissing
mingyukim: yall are just jealous
bc I get to meet the most gorgeous man ever and you don’t :)
booseungclown: i am sorry are we talking about me or minghao now
mingyukim: don’t you have something better to do now clown
booseungclown: i am here to clown you
that is until we start rehearsals
therealhan: speaking of which
where is our favourite disney prince?
booseungclown: he is rehearsing
only one day left!! i hope yall have your tickets ready
scoupsdetat: i am so excited :D
mingyukim: I wouldn’t miss it for the world!
I have the hottest suit fodkjr
G USY
HES HERE
THE HAO ISHERE
therealhan: oh my god did you piss yourself
officialnonu: he is pissing
mingyukim: HES FUCING BEAUTIFUL OH MY GODH
scoupsdetat: go talk to him Gyu! :D
officialnonu: but stop pissing first and dont embarrass yourself like usual
prd_woozi: wait is he really doing it?
i could never
mingyukim: im turning off my phone i need to get myself together
STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PISS
officialnonu: oh no gyu dont go towards the light oh no
oh no tragic
mingyukim: I hate you
mingyukim has logged off.
[12:07pm]
Group chat name: multitalent legends
chwe_not_chew: guys this track is gonna be 🔥🔥🔥🔥
junhuhui: will it sounds like the lovechild of a jackhammer and a washing machine again?
chwe_not_chew: aw yisss 😎
junhuhui: oh dear god
chwe_not_chew: still up for some vocals?
hearmeroar: jun doesn’t have the big dick energy you need for that
i, on the other hand, am free all week :)
chwe_not_chew: lets get it
hearmeroar: WATCH ME IM A SINGER NOW
junhuhui: jesus christ
hao if youre reading this, i am suffering send help
itsminghao: busy
diamondmaknae: we all know he has our gc muted what did you expect hyung
junhuhui: but??? he replied so?????
what are you busy with this time and why didn’t you take me with you :C
itsminghao: i am going for a shoot
JOSHONG: damn bro
no one told me its snack time already
chwe_not_chew: the gay jumped out bro
JOSHONG: ;)
hearmeroar: ye ye josh horny we get it
vern open the door
and i hope you have snacks
chwe_not_chew: you came fast
be there in a sec
diamondmaknae: hao hyung bring me a souvenir from the shoot
junhuhui: isnt that kinda like.. stealing?
diamondmaknae: not when you get paid for it
chwe_not_chew: galaxy brain
junhuhui: can't wait to bake you bread in jail
hearmeroar: can you hurry up w that a little pls
chew has no food in this flat
chwe_not_chew: i offered you an energy drink you ungrateful fuck
JOSHONG: uhm
do you have any idea what an energy drink does to his satanic ass?
chwe_not_chew: i hope it will get him high enough to bear being with him
itsminghao: ugh the people in here are so fucking loud and for what
junhuhui: oh now you can hear them
what about the time when I yell for your help from the other room huh
mr 'I just shut it out I can't hear you'
itsminghao: i am pretty well trained for shutting you out after all these years
give me a couple of minutes and i will shut these out too
diamondmaknae: i am jealous of your talent sigh
junhuhui: while you're at it try not to get hit by anything
what is the shoot like today btw
itsminghao: its a menswear summer collection
so lot of male models if thats what you are hinting at
junhuhui: ooooh menswear :3c
itsminghao: let me stop you right there
junhuhui: oh cmon :c
you are depriving your single best friend of beautiful men
despite of his very direct decision of being ready to mingle
itsminghao: we made a pact of not thirsting over each other's colleagues stick to it
junhuhui: :C
I could introduce you to the best trot singers of the country
you could have any sugar daddy you’d like
if that means I get to support my talented best friend at his photoshoots :))
itsminghao: i am my own sugar daddy
JOSHONG: that's so sexy of you
diamondmaknae: ofc he is sponsored by chanel AND versace
itsminghao: wait i think i am being harassed
chwe_not_chew: hao you ok?
also sy keeps roaring on the track
he is ruining the synergy
hearmeroar: it's because you're weak
make it work wizard boy
this is raw talent here
diamondmaknae: how is none of you concerned about minghao
hearmeroar: concerned?
for what
diamondmaknae: he said he is being harassed??
hearmeroar: WAIT WHAT
my eyes just,, skid over it ig
WHO IS HARASSING YOU
itsminghao: this was awkward haha
junhuhui: was it a crazy fan again
what do you pay your bodyguards for??
itsminghao: no it was a model?
JOSHONG: not to be junhui but
was it a boy or a girl :)
chwe_not_chew: bro it's menswear use your brains
JOSHONG: something I'd like to wear :))
itsminghao: its a dude
a very unprofessional one at that
hearmeroar: WHAT DID HE DO
STOP BEING CRYPTIC I DON'T UNDERSTAND
itsminghao: i was minding my business shutting the whole world out as per usual but after a while i noticed something was off
and this guy was sitting next to me and was talking but i don't know how long he was there or what was he talking about so i asked 'sorry are you talking to me'
and he got pouty and said that he just came to say hi and then left?
but i saw everyone staring and holding back a grin so i asked my assistant what was this about and he said the guy went on about how much he looks up to me and my work and that he is a huge fan
unprofessional
chwe_not_chew: poor guy
junhuhui: awww
another broken dream
just like mine of a sweet boyfriend with a nice firm body :C
itsminghao: you are so damn gross i will tell yanan
junhuhui: :))))) you won’t
diamondmaknae: do you at least know his name?
itsminghao: my assistant says it's mingyu?
i have never seen him before i think
chwe_not_chew: minghao, aka the guy who has no idea if he had seen a pretty boy cause he had seen one too many pretty boys in his life
hearmeroar: wait
just a sec
junhuhui: I hate it when he says that
hearmeroar:
was this your boy?
itsminghao: yes but less denim
wait why do you have a picture?
do you know him?
JOSHONG: waiting for junhui to go feral :)
junhuhui: OH MY SWEET JESUS
hearmeroar: :D
not personally no
I know him bc he's my buddy's friend apparently
saw him on insta nd I remembered his name
not like I checked him before or anything :)
chwe_not_chew: really?
from here it looks like you are following him and have notifications on
hearmeroar: what is reality even
my truth and your truth might never be the same
for all you know it might be my evil twin planning to take over the world
JOSHONG: that's impossible bc you're the evil twin
hearmeroar: :)))
his @ is mingyukim
for everyone who is wondering
junhuhui: soonyoung you are my new best friend
itsminghao:
a reminder for jun to stop his bullshit we are tired
junhuhui: heh
what is this
why are you sending this picture minghao :)
itsminghao: your crush
chwe_not_chew: w o w arms
hearmeroar: WELLWELL WELL
who is this young man if i may ask :DD
junhuhui: NO ONE
he’s a friend of ours
hao is being a pain
itsminghao: yanan
junhui's fattest crush since i know him
hearmeroar: ooooh :DDDDD
junhuhui: that’s not true.
hearmeroar: no?
can i have his @ then? :DD
itsminghao: @yan_ans
junhuhui: what do you need his @ for
hearmeroar: why not :D
junhuhui: fine
itsminghao: he is really sweet
an angel
something none of us will ever be
diamondmaknae: no he is tall PASS
tall people deserve to bump their heads in the ceiling
it's tiny men's world go away
JOSHONG: dw junhui soonyoung is into smol boys anyway he’s just being an ass
junhuhui: huh
i mean
why would i care haha
JOSHONG: :))
if you ever need advice on the matters of the heart
just give me a call :)
itsminghao: you are all single
anyway time to shoot bye
hearmeroar: and i am going back to recording :D
a star is being born here ladies
chwe_not_chew: pray for me
[3:15pm]
Group chat name: 7 deadly sins
officialnonu: do yall think mingyu is dead
scoupsdetat: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT :(
officialnonu: well not like DEAD dead its a metaphor cheol
therealhan: i think he is just doing the shoot
but hey what do i know? (:
fancysockmin: hey guys! :D
just finished at rehearsal!
what did I miss??
booseungclown: mingyu is meeting his celebrity crush today and pissed himself
how was your day
officialnonu: it was a great day :))
therealhan: I don’t think the question was directed at you wonu
fancysockmin: I’m glad your day was good :D
I’m so tired though I think I’ll get home and order something and just fall asleep like that
booseungclown: party at seokmins!!
fancysockmin: oh lord
therealhan: i have a facemask on i think i will pass
scoupsdetat: i have late night practice :(
officialnonu: and i simply dont wanna go
booseungclown: boo you all
therealhan: ew no don’t boo me
fancysockmin: :C
seungkwannie you can come over though if you’d like
also anyone, after you are done with your things!
I can order more food
booseungclown: no need i will buy you food my treat
fancysockmin: :O
really??
it’s not even my birthday tho??
booseungclown: but you are the only person i like
nd cheol hyung
mingyukim: same
scoupsdetat: mingyu :( what's wrong
officialnonu: uh oh something is wrong
my best friend senses are tingling
mingyukim: oh :) nothing
everything is fine
fancysockmin: how did the..
celebrity crush thing go..?
mingyukim: :))))))))))))
that’s the question isn’t it?
therealhan: damn that sounds even worse
mingyukim: he was an ass
like
first he just ignored me nd kept being on his phone and i was like okay maybe he didn’t hear
but then he looks up at me and he is just
blankly like “are you talking to me”
the whole ass studio was laughing at me
the photographer, the other models, even the hairstylists too
officialnonu: self centered much
honestly he is probably not that pretty to worth the hype
booseungclown: imo he is pretty but if he has an ugly personality then bye bitch
come with me to seokmin's we will cheer you up
mingyukim: thanks but i think i’ll just go out tonight
i feel like shit i need to drink this away
but you know what’s the worst part
he is worth the hype
he was so pretty gah i hate this
scoupsdetat: you aren't going alone right? :(
mingyukim: nah jaehyun and gguk were about to go out anyway
anyone feel like joining?
therealhan: sigh you might need someone to take care of you
mingyukim: ?? no we don’t
therealhan: whatever i’ll go with you
officialnonu: alright i go too
no need to beg
fancysockmin: and you can come crash at mine anytime during the night!
mingyukim: you guys are so annoying hh
ily
scoupsdetat: after practice i can go to seokmins too!!!
prd_woozi: um ye i can go too ig
therealhan: Jihoon you little shit you have been ignoring my dms all day
prd_woozi: i am in the studio and i got an idea and i just realised a whole day passed
therealhan: you are excused
now get ready, i am picking you up in 15
prd_woozi: what is there to get ready for
therealhan: hopeless
at least take a shower
and no you can’t put the same shirt back on
prd_woozi: i am at the studio :)
therealhan: right
change of plans, pick you up in 5 nd you shower at mine
officialnonu: i will pick up the goo gang
lets all meet at han’s
mingyukim: the what gang
officialnonu: you, gguk, jae
and no, i refuse to call it the big dick gang
mingyukim: but??? that’s our NAME
officialnonu: no
bye
officialnonu logged off.
mingyukim: pff fine live in denial then
prd_woozi: okay see yall in a bit