Chapter Text
Alicent visited Helaena as she was letting her newest worm crawl all over her hand. She could tell by her mother’s voice and bloodshot eyes that she had been crying.
“Rhaenyra had proposed that you marry Jacaerys and your father seemed to agree. I did not, though,” she said. Helaena merely listened, this was a matter she had no choice on. She will be set to marry whoever her family wanted her to marry, but if tradition was to be followed it would have to be her brother Aegon. She wondered why Rhaenyra still had to propose that she marry her son.
“We all know what her sons are. Even if Viserys chooses not to see what’s right in front of his eyes,” Alicent continued. Helaena was just a girl and Alicent does not want her to leave home. Alicent felt that Rhaenyra was proposing this to strengthen her own bastard son’s claim to the throne, in the guise of a peace offering.
Ever since she could remember, Helaena just thought she would marry her older brother Aegon, eventually. Targaryens have always married their own siblings, since the time of Old Valyria. Aegon was the firstborn son, and to be considered a true Targaryen heir to the throne he would have to follow Valyrian tradition. He would marry his sister and have her as his wife, as their ancestors and kings had done before. It was the safe and logical choice, from her grandsire Otto’s reasoning.
Aegon thought she was strange, though. She knew that much from the things he’s said about her when he thought she wasn’t listening.
She’s an idiot. What was she talking about again? Those bugs make my skin crawl.
There were moments they did get along, though, when they were flying their dragons together… which they did yesterday.
They flew so close together, their dragons nearly touching wings. Aegon's golden Sunfyre and her silvery blue Dreamfyre, gliding through clouds and flying low towards the seas. For those precious moments in the sky, they weren't the royal children with all their duties and expectations - they were just brother and sister, free and flying in the wind. She treasured those rare times when she saw genuine joy light up Aegon's face.
“Do you wish to marry Jacaerys?” her mother asked, breaking her reverie.
“Does my wish matter?” she answered and Alicent looked both surprised and hurt by her quick, direct answer.
In truth, she doesn’t want to marry so soon. She only wanted to be left alone and fly her dragon, but she knew there were things she had no choice on. Rhaenyra’s proposal was no benefit to them at all, it was only for her own good. Jacaerys was her friend, but she can’t see herself with him. Marrying her own brother would mean the life she liked would still go on as it was.
They had talked about this before. Alicent had asked her if it was alright for her to marry her older brother. She would never have to leave to a new family. Her dragon was already used to staying in the Dragonpit. Everything would stay the same, she would only be married to her brother. Neither Aegon nor Helaena received many marriage proposals from other houses, for the reason that all assumed that they would marry.
But their father still had the final say.
Alicent’s eyes filled with tears again, unhappy at her daughter’s fate. Her mother looked down and touched her arm, to comfort her.
“I will do what I can to convince your father,” she said, and left her alone in her chambers.
Helaena continued to stare at the worm, which now curled to sleep on her palm. She doesn’t know what to do. She does not want to leave home, her mother, and her brothers. She had no choice on who to marry, but she certainly does not want to marry Jace and just be used as a mere piece in Rhaenyra's games.
She could hear Aegon’s laughter in the hallways, maybe he was with his friends.
Helaena had a bizarre thought. There was one way she could escape this, if Aegon agreed. She had to figure out how to explain it…
She’ll ask him to sleep with her.
She would have to do it soon, before her father made any final decisions about her betrothal. If they knew her virtue had been broken, especially by her own brother, they would have no choice but to break any marriage pacts with Jacaerys. Her mother would be horrified, but in the end she hoped that it would make them decide to continue with their original plan to marry her to Aegon to save face.
The thought made her stomach twist with nerves. She had never done anything like this before, she was still a maiden. But she was desperate - she would rather give herself to Aegon than be sent away to marry.
She convinced herself there was nothing wrong with her idea, no matter how absurd it seemed to be at first. She was supposed to marry Aegon in the first place, she would only be fulfilling what was already agreed on before Rhaenyra came into the picture.
She decided to wait for evening and go to Aegon’s room before he retired for the night to talk and make him understand her situation.
Helaena stood outside Aegon’s door, unsure of how to proceed. It was evening, the hallway was lit with torches and casting an amber light on her. This must be what Viserra felt trying to bed her brother Baelon to save her from marrying a man she does not want, she thought.
Her hands trembled slightly as she smoothed down her pink dress. She would have to be brave. There was no other way.
She breathed deep, and opened his door to simply get this over with. The worse he could do was say no. She wouldn’t know if she wouldn’t ask, so tried to kill her shame even if her heart was already beating so fast.
Aegon sat up from his bed when he heard her enter. His bed was wide, fitted with luxurious velvets and the softest blankets. He was shirtless, since he had the habit of sleeping undressed. She hasn’t changed out of her dress yet.
“What are you doing here? I’m going to sleep. Go away,” he said. She summoned the courage to walk near to him and sit at the foot of his bed.
“If this isn’t about our dragons, get off my bed and go back to your room,” he said, sounding annoyed that she was here.
Helaena stayed put, looking at him. She could feel her face turn warm as she braced herself to speak.
“Aegon. Rhaenyra wants me to marry Jacaerys,” she said, staring at his face intently to see his reaction.
He shrugged, but inside he was kind of pissed. Wasn’t Helaena supposed to marry him? He didn’t like her that way, what he didn’t like was they wanted to take something that was supposed to be his again. He had thought their betrothal was final, but Viserys always agreed with Rhaenyra, damn Helaena’s comfort. Inside, he hated that Rhaenyra only thought of what would benefit her, and he doubted Helaena would be asked about what she wanted for herself.
“Good luck then,” he said instead, and Helaena’s face went from carefully blank indifference to frowning. He lay down again , covered himself with his blanket, and turned away from her. She almost wanted to cry, that he would turn her down.
“But I don’t want to do it!” she said, almost begging her brother now.
“First time they made you do something you don’t like?” he asked, hiding his irritation at Rhaenyra. She was already the chosen heir, now she wants to have Helaena for her son? Aegon knew he had no power to influence anyone here, not the people who mattered or made decisions like his father. Otto and Alicent could only persuade the King, but he still had the last word.
“Aegon, I thought you could help me,” she said, pleading, tears starting to fill her eyes.
Him helping anybody? By now his sister must know that he was useless, but he felt utterly pathetic at watching his sister about to cry and that he could do nothing about it.
She pulled at his sheets. He didn’t show it but he was starting to feel bad for her. He felt helpless himself that he couldn’t do anything about it, he wasn’t Viserys’ favorite. He didn’t matter.
“How could I help you if father decides? You know I have no place here and it’s not like I can convince them to stop it,” he said, trying to make her see his own position here. He had no power to change anything or persuade the king even if he was the firstborn son.
Helaena looked down, readying herself to say what she wanted to happen.
“I thought that if you… sleep with me, and they would know, they would have no choice but to stop it.”
That made Aegon sit up, the blanket falling off his body. He stayed still, staring at his sister with disbelief. Did he hear that right? Helaena had suggested he fuck her and then let everyone know so that they won’t marry her to Jace anymore?
“Do you know what will happen if you do that? Mother will kill me.”
Helaena continued to look down the floor, unable to look at her brother.
“Then, they would have no choice but to marry us. Mother would not dishonor you,” he said.
“I… I’d rather marry you, than him. I don’t even know why they are entertaining Rhaenyra’s proposal, when we’re the ones supposed to be married? I had thought that was final,” she answered, confused.
He was flattered at hearing those words from his sister, but he tried not to show it. They grew up with that expectation, after all. The way she spoke about it, like it was something so casual and inevitable.
Does he want his sister to marry their bastard cousin? He searched himself for the answer and decided that he does not. Will he let someone else have her and take her maidenhead? Fuck no, he thought. As sick as it sounded, he’d rather have himself as Helaena’s first time than any other man. Especially not Rhaenyra’s son.
“Are you sure that you want to do this?”
She nodded. “I’ve already decided to. Besides, I only want to have my first time with you,” she said and Aegon’s heart raced at her words and the directness in which she said it.
“You want to… have your… first time with me?” he asked, looking at Helaena to make sure she wasn’t drunk.
“Who else would I have it with? You’re my brother and I’m supposed to be married to you and not our nephew. Please, Aegon, I don’t want to go to Dragonstone or anywhere else. I want to stay here with all of you,” she said, pulling at his blanket.
“But realize that if we are going to do this I’m going to be the one who will be punished. Of course mother would think that I violated you,” Aegon said.
“No, Aegon, I’ll try to do what I can to not make her blame you. I’ll tell her it was my idea. That I wanted you to.”
“And how do you plan on letting them know?”
“Nothing.”
“What? Do nothing at all?”
“We’re in a castle. You know what they say, the walls talk in the Red Keep. Someone will see us or know, soon enough, and it will spread faster than dragonfire. Mother will know.”
Aegon paused for a moment to take a good look at her. She looked at him, expectant.
He couldn’t deny it. She’s become prettier over the years, and she was growing into a woman’s body. Sometimes he would catch himself staring at her. Sometimes when she smiled, it made his chest feel something he didn't quite understand.
Having her in his bed probably wouldn’t be too bad, and it would have happened by now anyway, if Rhaenyra didn’t propose her stupid idea. They were supposed to be married anyway, but Rhaenyra was once again trying to do something that will only benefit herself.
He could spite her and Jace by claiming what was rightfully his in the first place.
“Alright. I’ll do it for you,” he said.
Helaena smiled, relieved that he agreed.
He then pulled Helaena’s arm to him and was about to kiss her, but she gently stopped him. She looked at him strange and Aegon could see she was nervous with how her hands trembled and the blush deepening on her cheeks.
“Just not now, mother visits me sometimes and I think she will go to my room tonight.”
That answer kind of disappointed him…
“So when will we do it?”
“The day after tomorrow, after our High Valyrian lessons?”
They have both been slacking off their High Valyrian, Aemond was outpacing them. They could command their dragons fine without learning all of it, and both of them had no patience for the language. They had their classes with the maester at the Library, in the afternoons.
“Alright then.”
It was inevitable, anyway. If he did sleep with Helaena it was only meant to be, wasn’t it?
When Helaena left, Aegon lay in bed that night, thinking about what they had planned. He realized with some guilt that Helaena was still completely innocent - she probably had no idea what to expect, she was only in a panic at their sister’s sudden proposal. While he had experience with whores in the brothels, Helaena was still untouched.
He would need to teach her the basics first, prepare her body gently before taking her maidenhead. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her or make it an unpleasant experience. Despite his initial reluctance, he felt rather protective of her and wanted this to be comfortable for her.
Perhaps he could give her something to help her understand and practice on her own first. He had seen certain... toys... that he saw in the brothels. He had some himself, and a few unused ones. And he had a book of erotic illustrations he stole from the library hidden away that might be educational.
Maybe that would be a good start, let her explore herself privately before they came together. He would need to be patient and guide her slowly…
He didn’t expect the new feeling that rose within him – like something primal and waiting. He felt excited at the thought of claiming her innocence.
Aegon passed by Helaena in the garden the following morning and gave her a long, wooden box. She was sitting by the grass and observing the tiny silver moths fluttering among the newly bloomed white roses. She looked up at him, and he swore she was blushing at the sight of him.
“Aegon, what’s this?”
“Hide it,” he said. “It’s…uh… try using it on yourself so you could get used to it.”
She slid open the box and inside was something shaped like a man’s private parts, carved out of bone. There was also a small glass vial of what looked like a perfume or oil. She gasped at the sight, then closed it.
“Do you want me to use it?” she asked.
“So you just know what to expect.”
“Is it clean?”
“Of course! I haven’t used it!”
“You use things like this?!”
“Shut up! Someone will hear us if you don’t keep your voice down,” he said, almost hissing and eyes darting around them to see if anyone was within earshot. Fortunately, they were alone.
He also stepped near to her to hand her another thing - a hardbound book.
“Here, it’s a book of drawings. So you get the idea. You better return it,” he said. Helaena covered it with the sleeve of her gown so she could open it. She gasped when she opened it, they were filled with drawings of an erotic nature. It was well-worn too, which made her suspect Aegon was always looking at it. She hid it under one arm, and Aegon turned away from her to go about his business for the day, pretending nothing has happened.
Back in her room that evening, she opened the book. She undressed completely as she lay in bed, opening the book in front of her. The images were not new to her, there were Valyrian tapestries around the castle depicting sexual acts. The book was written in High Valyrian, but it consisted of drawings of pale women and pale men. Valyrians. Targaryens. Depictions of blood relatives and siblings engaging in intercourse.
She blushed when she came across a particular drawing of a young man and woman about the same age as her and Aegon. They would have to do something like this. Something stirred between her legs.
She turned the pages slowly, each image making her breath catch. There were drawings of couples entwined in passionate embraces - a woman straddling her lover, mouths open in ecstasy. Her heart raced as she imagined herself and Aegon in those poses.
One particular illustration showed a man pressing a woman against a wall, her legs wrapped around his waist as they kissed deeply. Helaena's face flushed hot as she pictured Aegon holding her that way, his strong arms supporting her weight. She shifted uncomfortably, feeling an unfamiliar ache building between her thighs.
The next page depicted more intimate acts - a woman's head thrown back in pleasure as her lover's mouth explored her most private places. Helaena quickly turned past that one, but the image was already seared in her mind. Would Aegon do that to her? The thought made her whole body tingle with a strange new sensation.
She took the toy from its box and the bottle of oil Aegon had given her. She opened the bottle and smelled its fragrance - something like jasmine and rose petals. She spread some on her hand, and touched herself with it. She caressed herself, spreading the oil over her entrance and she realized it felt good.
She’s never touched herself like that, not really. There were nights she would rub on her pillow, thinking of nothing and no one in particular, just normal urges of her changing body. She discovered that if she touched her own breasts it felt good, it made her shiver down there.
She spread the oil on the surface of the toy, until it was slick. She closed her eyes and winced as she pushed it inside herself. It wouldn’t fit. She tried again, pushing it in firmly but she was still too tight for it. She tried it again and again, to no avail. Soon, her excitement turned to displeasure, and pain. Why isn’t it working? She was beginning to feel frustrated. Was she doing something wrong? Was there something wrong with her?
She stopped trying, put the toy back in its container.
She felt tears of frustration on her face. She didn’t want this thing, she needed Aegon to sleep with her for this to work. Crying, she stood from her bed, wore her dress again, and headed to his room.
Aegon lay in bed, unable to sleep. He was anxious at the thought that at the moment, Helaena might be using the toy on herself as she read through the book. He felt himself get hard, at the thought that she might be touching herself. He would be her first, she had begged him for it, and that filled him with such satisfaction and pride.
His door suddenly opened and it was her, frowning and the box on her hand. She approached his bed, and sat beside him.
“Have you tried it?” he asked, worried.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but it can’t fit. I tried using the oil but it just won’t,” she said.
“What?” Aegon asked.
“Aegon, what if you can’t fit me?” she whined, worried.
Then it dawned on him. Helaena doesn’t know anything yet.
“Helaena, when a woman gets… aroused, she… gets wet,” he explained.
“Yes, I’m starting to… feel it. But it still won’t. I don’t think its enough. There must be something wrong.”
Well, his sister was doing it alone. She’d never experienced the passion, the intensity of a man and woman’s body together. She was still a complete innocent, not knowing anything about lovemaking or her own body. Maybe it was a bad decision on his part to leave her on her own devices, he realized he would have to teach her by himself.
“How do I get aroused? How does that happen?” she asked, almost clinical and hilarious in her directness.
“Helaena, you see… when a man touches a woman, kisses her, touches her, her body will begin to react if she likes the man.”
Helaena almost flinched. He knew that his sister didn’t like being touched.
“Kiss me and touch me so I can understand,” she said so directly, almost irritated and angry.
Aegon sighed, exasperated. “I know you dislike being touched.”
“I’ll try with you, Aegon.”
“Sit down,” he said.
He touched his lips to hers. Her lips were plush and soft. She didn’t move. He continued moving his lips against hers, she sat still. It was like kissing a brick wall. He let go.
“Helaena, try to do the same things I’m doing,” he said. She nodded. He kissed her again, and she started moving her lips. Soon, she found the sensation pleasant. Aegon’s lips were soft. She contented herself with light pecks against his lips.
Aegon, though, started to burn inside. At his sister’s boldness and innocence. That she came here, out of her own accord, to be fucked by him even if she didn’t understand what it meant and haven’t experienced it yet.
He pushed her down the bed, deepening the kiss. Helaena whimpered under him, probably bewildered at all this. He swiped his tongue against hers, and she also tried to do the same. He pushed the front of the dress down to expose her breasts, the part of her he had imagined bare. He breathed deep, her naked skin was more beautiful than what he imagined, radiant in the candlelight.
“Aegon, what are you –”
Aegon merely pressed his head between her breasts and breathed in her scent. She was so soft there, and his hand traveled beneath her skirts and pulled her smallclothes down. He smiled when he felt her slippery folds, her breathing harsher at his touch.
“Now this, sister, is what it means when a girl gets wet,” he said, and Helaena looked down at herself, her body feeling desire for the first time. It had been when he started touching her out of the blue - she found it felt good.
“Keep going,” she said, in a stern tone. Aegon snapped up to look at her. She doesn’t seem to understand what her body was feeling, but was already ordering him around.
Aegon took the toy out of its box, its surface slick with the oil she tried to use on herself.
He took a look at her naked cunt and he felt himself get hard at the sight. It was pink and pretty, its lips slick and looked like it was begging for his tongue to taste it. He would make time for that later and he had a feeling she’d like that and she doesn’t know it yet. He couldn’t help but imagine sheathing himself in her, she would be tight as fuck and it would feel like heaven. He imagined her cry out in pain when he first enters her. But soon she will only beg for more when the first pain turns to blinding pleasure. The things he would show her…
He could do that later, he didn’t expect this sudden desire for her now that she lay on his bed. He would have his time to fuck her deep once he’d initiated her.
He breathed deep, positioned the toy on her entrance, and began pushing it gently inside her. She closed her eyes, as Aegon slowly started fucking her with it. She was still too tight, it was difficult to move it.
Helaena squirmed in pain, it made him stop.
“Should I pull it out?” he whispered, worry etched on his voice.
“It’s painful,” she said, and he sighed and slowly pulled it out of her. His fingertips were slick with her wetness, and by instinct he put them in his mouth to have a taste of her. Helaena blushed when she saw him lick his own fingers and eyeing her with lust.
“Is it alright with you if I use my hand instead?” he asked. Here he was, asking his sister permission to do this act.
She nodded. He started with one finger, still moist with his own spit, burying it inside her. Gods, she was so soft and warm and tight. He started fucking her with it, being as gentle as he can. Her inner walls embraced his finger just right, pulsing around him. As he worked on her with his hand, he couldn’t help but imagine how good it would feel if it was his cock deep inside her. With every thrust, she was getting slicker.
“Feels better?” he asked. She nodded. He knew that he was painfully hard himself, at touching his sister. A part of him felt so ashamed of it and his own reaction, but he couldn't deny how much he wanted her. The thought of being her first, teaching her about pleasure, filled him with a dark thrill. His finger moved faster inside her, driven by his growing need.
“Please keep going,” she said, and Aegon complied. She sighed and made soft sounds in her throat, filling him with desire even more.
“Another, add another,” she begged again, and Aegon breathed deep as he inserted another. She whimpered underneath him, and she was unmoving earlier, but now her hips softly rocked against his hand as if mimicking his actions. Gods, the feel of her…
“Good, that’s right, move your hips just like that, harder if you want to,” he said, and at his encouragement Helaena was slowly losing control. He used his other hand to squeeze and pinch at her breasts, which she seemed to like with the sounds she was making. He could listen all day.
He curled his fingers inside her, making her gasp and arch her back. Her wetness coated his fingers as he found a spot that made her writhe and moan his name. The pleasure was building inside her, threatening to explode.
Her hips bucked against his hand as waves of intense pleasure crashed through her body. Her inner walls clenched around his fingers as her first peak washed over her. Aegon watched in awe as his sister came undone beneath his touch, her face flushed and beautiful in her ecstasy.
She lay on the bed, his hands caressing between her legs, the realization dawned on them…
What have we done?
They both lay there in silence, the weight of their actions hanging heavy in the air. Aegon felt a pang of guilt twist in his stomach, while Helaena's cheeks burned with shame.
Even then, she pressed closer to him and he only pulled her close.
The softness of her skin against his was intoxicating. “This is wrong,” he muttered, even as his hands began to wander again.
Their eyes met in the dim light, and whatever resolve they had crumbled. Helaena's breath hitched as Aegon's hand caressed her face again.
“Just once more,” she breathed, already arching into his touch.
Inspired, Aegon lowered his face between her legs as she trembled.
“What are you -” she asked, but turned speechless as Aegon licked at the delicate skin of her folds, like the soft petals of a flower opening just for him. He can feel her shiver with pleasure at every swipe of his tongue as he eagerly lapped at her. He felt like a man dying of thirst, now satisfied with her taste.
“Oh, keep going, please,” she begged, and he loved how she pleaded, as her body felt this kind of passion for the first time.
His tongue circled her most sensitive spot as his fingers slid inside her again, making her arch and moan. She clutched at his hair, her thighs trembling around his head as another wave of pleasure built within her. Her release came again, leaving her gasping and shaking.
And like moths to flame, they succumbed to their desires, shame forgotten in the heat of passion.
It was too late now.