May I kiss your scars?

by littlemean_girl

Summary:

Everybody has scars, some are just invisible.

 

James Potter wanted to be loved, he just didn't think that it was possible for anybody to truly love him back.
Until he stumbled upon a naughty pup and a dangerous wolf.

Notes:

Hello, this is my first fic so be gentle with me.
I need more wolfstarbucks, so I decided to write some.
English is not my first language.

I hope you enjoy this lovely journey with me. I have no idea how long it will last.
Also, I can't promise anything in terms of frequent updates.

Chapter 1: Typical Friday night of a lonely James Potter

James should have been happy. 

He was a rich guy in his late twenties, he was living a life many would envy. His parents, who had always supported his ambitions, were still together and deeply in love, providing him with a strong foundation of warmth and encouragement. He had an eclectic group of friends who shared his passions, explored new interests, and stood by him through thick and thin.

Yet, despite this seemingly perfect life, the romance aspect felt sorely lacking. Time and again, James found himself entangled with individuals, both men and women, who drained his emotional energy instead of uplifting it. His most meaningful relationship had ended painfully when his girlfriend revealed that she identified as a lesbian. She and her wife now occupied a cherished place in his life, often joining him for dinner parties and game nights. Still, a twinge of longing lingered within him; he occasionally daydreamed about a parallel universe where they embraced their connection differently. Would they have settled down together, gotten married, and maybe even raised a family? 

In his current universe, however, Lily had found true love with Pandora, her wife, and together they had embarked on a shared dream. They opened a vibrant club called The Shrieking Shack, a haven for self-expression where everyone, regardless of their background or desires, could feel safe to explore their innermost yearnings without judgment. The club pulsed with life. James often found solace in the cosy nooks of the club, surrounded by laughter and music, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that, in a way, the Shrieking Shack was a reflection of his own yearning for acceptance and authentic connection.

James found himself perched on one of the high bar stools, cradling a vibrant, sickly sweet drink that glimmered like a gem in the dim light of the bar. He looked like the kind of man who would savour a smoky whisky, especially dressed in his tailored suit that hugged his frame just right. Yet, there he was, enjoying the whimsical mixology delights of Pandora, who was the talented bartender known for her creative concoctions. He had become her favourite guinea pig, swallowing his initial reservations about sweet drinks for the thrill of her latest experiments.

"So, what do you think?" she asked, leaning casually against the polished mahogany bar, her bright eyes sparkling with anticipation. Her grin was wide and infectious, reminiscent of the mischievous Cheshire Cat from fairy tales. 

"It's nice," he replied, setting down the elegantly curved glass, now half full. "I appreciate the citrusy touch." The hint of lime and the splash of something tropical danced on his palate, an unexpected delight.

"Thanks, Jamie! I'll definitely add it to the regular menu," she said enthusiastically, her voice melodic as she turned her attention momentarily to the bustling crowd at the bar. "On the house, as always!" she called out, beaming before she disappeared into the throng of customers, ready to whip up her next masterpiece. 

His eyes moved to the scene that was happening on the small stage. He was used to being in this environment, so it didn't shock him when one of the performers got hit with a flogger and let out a long moan. There was a little part of James that wished to be in his place, tied up on display for everyone to see. He would never do it, tho, not like this. He much preferred private scenes, where he could completely relax and let go. He was a very stressed man, even tho not many people would describe him as such. He usually came across as a confident guy, some would even say that he was arrogant and too full of himself. But that was an act. A facade that he put up in front of the world. Here in The Shrieking Shack, he could let go and finally let someone else be in charge.

When Lily first introduced him to the world of BDSM, he laughed in her face and said that this was not for him. But she was patient, and after some time passed, he came to her asking for guidance. Lily was (and is) an incredible domme. She always wanted to take care of people, to give them pleasure; she had empathy and a strong head on her shoulders. At first, he thought that maybe he was more of a switch, but he quickly discovered that he was a true sub. Again, many people seemed surprised by this, some even disappointed. He could see it on their faces as they glanced down at his band; red was the colour that subs used to identify at the club. James always wore a red band.

He was acutely aware of his striking appearance, his well-defined muscles rippled under his skin, giving him an athletic build that stood nearly 6 feet tall. His warm, dark tan skin accentuated the contrast of his black, curly hair, which was slightly tousled, framing his chiselled features. His rich, brown eyes were partially obscured by the elegant gold-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, adding a touch of sophistication to his rugged charm.

Some people would even comment, "What a shame" as their eyes lingered on the piece of red fabric tied around his wrist. These people were not his problem. If someone didn't want to accept his preferences, he was not about to spend his time trying to change them. He already lost too much time in his last, failed relationship. James lost a lot of hope in that relationship, he almost completely stopped practising submission. His ex used it against him and manipulated him into doing things that James didn't want to do. Now, James put even stricter rules around scenes, only played at the club. He felt safe here; the girl's especially Lily, put a lot of work into ensuring the safety of everyone involved. There were a lot of bodyguards in every corner of the place, some of them hidden in the shadows, completely invisible. The private rooms stayed open at all times; the indicator that a room was occupied was a red light shining above the door. There was a strict set of rules about the live performers, interacting with other guests, etc. Everyone who entered the club for the first time was expected to sign a statute. If a customer, for whatever reason, broke the rules, they were banned from entering the club ever again.

The live performance just ended. The sub finally got permission to come. His whole body shook with pleasure, his head fell forward between his shoulders a scream escaped his lips. It was beautiful. The dom moved quickly, whispering sweet nothings under his breath. James didn't personally know these two but they were regulars at the club. He could see the love that was shared between the two.

James finished his drink. He didn't know what he wanted to do tonight. Sometimes, he would just hang out at the bar and chat with Pandora; if he got lucky, someone got interested enough to talk to him, and if James was attracted to them, he would get a little action.

That seemed to be the case tonight.

However, James was too focused on finishing his drink to notice someone approaching him.

"I see you are already done with this one. Can I get you another one? If you are interested, of course."

James whipped his head around to look at the stranger, who put their hand on his biceps. He was faced with the most beautiful person on this planet, no scratch that, in this universe. The man standing in front of him had shoulder-length black hair, pale skin covered in tattoos, and the most piercing grey eyes James had ever seen. It's like this stranger was looking into his soul. On top of that, he was wearing a white tank top that showed a little bit of his lower stomach. James wanted to slide onto the floor, get on his knees and lick it. The rest of the outfit consisted of a black leather jacket and black skin-tight leather pants. James also noticed a small moon earring in his left ear. He was a little smaller than James, skinnier. His features would be best described as aristocratic. A tiny, playful smirk appeared on his handsome face.

James was a little hesitant to look at this beautiful man's wrist. This was too good to be true, at least that is what it seemed like.

Blue.

This man had a blue band wrapped around his wrist. Switch. He felt a smile appear on his face. This perfect stranger was a switch. Maybe this night will be good after all.

"I would like that very much", James smiled even harder, showing his teeth.

"Listen, I will be completely honest with you," he said, leaning on the polished bar, his voice inviting. "My husband and I are looking for a lovely sub to play with tonight." This was a new proposition for James. He had dabbled in threesomes before, but they had always involved straight couples seeking a brief excitement between the sheets. "I get it if it's not for you," the stranger continued, his gaze intense and sincere, "but both of us are interested, and you are just so gorgeous, darling." 

The term of endearment caught James off guard; he felt a warm blush creep across his cheeks, surprised by his own reaction. He paused, weighing the offer in his mind, feeling an exhilarating mix of curiosity and desire swirling within him.

"I will join you under one condition," James said, locking eyes with those striking features, his heart racing as he leaned back in his chair, trying to project a nonchalance he didn’t quite feel. Inside, he was vibrating with excitement, like a child presented with a jar full of candy. 

"Okay, what is it?" the stranger asked, mirroring James' casual pose, an air of confidence radiating from him. 

"You,” James pointed a finger at him, “have to tell me your name." 

"Sirius," the stranger replied, puffing out his chest as if he were revealing a grand secret. James tilted his head to the side in disbelief, a hint of scepticism washing over his features. He half-expected laughter to escape Sirius' lips, as many people in this club typically played the name game.

"Are you joking?" James leaned forward, his curiosity piqued. "I get it, people use fake names in this club all the time, but come on."

"I'm not joking; my name is Sirius," he insisted, the corners of his mouth curling into a playful smirk.

"Like the star?" James asked, suddenly recalling something interesting he had learned long ago, though he couldn't quite remember where. 

"The one and only, darling," Sirius replied, his tone teasing but his gaze unwavering. James was still uncertain if he was being sincere or whimsical, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. If Sirius wanted to be called that, James would oblige, even if it felt a touch ridiculous. "Will you tell me your name?" Sirius pressed, his interest palpable.

"James, my name is James," he answered honestly. There was no reason to hide who he was; many patrons in the club recognised him already. Adopting a code name would only seem absurd.

"I like it," Sirius said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He let his fingers glide down James' arm, the barely-there touch sending shivers along his skin. James felt himself melting into the chair, the anticipation building within him like a rising tide.

James realised he was already losing his ability to form coherent sentences, and nothing had even happened yet.

This was going to be an interesting night.

Chapter 2: Power Couple

Summary:

James gets to meet the mysterious husband.

Notes:

This is mostly just talking between the lads, next chapter will have some spice.
I promise :)

James stood up from his chair and grabbed the drink that Pandora just put in front of him. She gave him a cheeky smile and approvingly moved her head.

He felt himself shaking with anticipation. He wondered if these guys had been watching him for a long time, maybe since he sat down. He used his free hand to smooth out any wrinkles on the front of this burgundy button-up shirt. It was one of his favourites. James decided to thank his past self for choosing to wear it this morning. He wasn't hopeful when he came in today; work was tough, and he ran into problems with an upcoming indie artist. James worked at the Potter Art Gallery well; technically, he was the owner of said gallery. Or his father was. Until he and his mother decided to take early retirement, leaving the PAG in their son's hands. He didn't complain, tho. He truly loved his job, and it paid insane amounts of money. On top of his trust fund, James was financially set up for life.

James followed Sirius through the crowded space. His long hair swayed as he moved in front of him. There was something so intoxicating about him; he walked with so much grace.

Maybe he was aware of James watching his every move, or maybe that was just who he was.

They finally got to their destination. A little table at the far end of the club, behind the small stage.

Sirus sat down at one of the two empty chairs. He left the middle one free, for James to sit on.
A man was currently occupying the other chair.

"James, this is Remus, my lovely husband" Sirius leaned his thin body across the table to grab one of his husband's hands. He gave it a little kiss; it was such a simple gesture. Yet it made James feel the love that these two had for each other.

He moved his eyes to those hands. Big and veiny hands, with a green band wrapped around one of them. Green was used to identify doms at the club. James felt himself blush. He looked at Remus' broad shoulders, hidden behind a simple white button-up. Remus was tall, maybe even taller than James himself. God, he hoped so. It didn't happen a lot, but it made him feel small and fragile. Even tho he was the most muscular out of the three men. Remus had beautiful green eyes, his hair was this soft brown colour, maybe dark blonde. James couldn't exactly tell. He liked it, tho. Remus had a handsome face; a few scars were scattered all over it. It didn't bother James; he liked it even. He could see that those scars told a story. They added to his beauty. There was something dangerous in those green eyes, a challenge. Maybe a question.

Also, Remus had a big nose, and you know what they say about guys with big noses. James loved big noses and other big things.

"Nice to meet you", Remus said. "Please sit down with us," he had a nice deep voice.

These two are going to fucking kill him.

The only thing that James could do right now was to listen. He wanted to be good. So he sat down in the empty chair between the other two. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus glance down at his wrist, and a small smile played on his lips.

“So, I see that you’re sporting a red wristband,” Remus said, casually leaning back in his chair, the muscles in his arms subtly flexing under the fabric of his fitted shirt. “But I have to ask, are you interested in subbing for us tonight?”

James cleared his throat, the weight of the question hanging in the air. “Yes, I’m interested,” he replied, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

“Great!” Remus exclaimed, a cheeky smile spreading across his face, revealing a hint of mischief in his bright hazel eyes. “So, Sirius over here is a switch, meaning he likes to take charge as well as let others take the reins. Are you okay with both of us being in charge?”

Sirius, lounging in an opposite chair with an air of relaxed confidence, interjected. “I still have to listen to Remus, though,” he clarified, a teasing edge to his voice.

James nodded, eager yet cautious. “I’m okay with anything as long as I don’t have to be the dom,” he answered honestly, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. “It’s just not my thing.”

He could swear he heard a low groan of frustration from Sirius, who seemed a blend of intrigue and desire at James’s admission.

“Of course, baby,” Remus said smoothly, his voice low and reassuring. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I hope that’s clear.” He leaned forward slightly, his gaze never leaving James' face, carefully observing his reaction. The air was thick with unspoken possibilities, each word weaving a complex tapestry of trust and anticipation. James nodded, he hoped that this beautiful couple was respectful of his boundaries because no matter how attractive and intriguing both of them were, he would say no if they made him feel even slightly uncomfortable. He learned his lesson and was not about to make the same mistakes. But so far, everything seemed to go smoothly. "I expect you to use your words unless your mouth is occupied. This rule also applies to me and Sirius," Remus said, staring into his eyes. It was intense.

"Yes, I understand," James replied, feeling a rush of heat spread across his cheeks, a sign of his growing embarrassment. He was acutely aware of the intimate atmosphere that surrounded them.

"Speaking of that," Sirius continued, his voice smooth and inviting, "are you familiar with the traffic light safeword system?" He leaned in slightly, his presence both comforting and electrifying.

James hesitated for a brief moment, his instinct to nod almost overriding his understanding of the rules they had set. Instead, he took a deep breath and said, "Yes, I know it." His voice sounded steadier than he felt.

Sirius moved a little closer, the warmth of his body almost radiating against James as he began to softly stroke his arm, his fingertips grazing the skin gently. "Can you tell us what it means, darling?" he asked, his tone playful yet sincere, encouraging James to share.

At that moment, James's head began to spin, and they hadn't even begun their exploration yet. He relished the attention Sirius was lavishing on him, feeling every brush of his fingers igniting a delicious thrill. He was equally captivated by Remus, who sat silently but watchfully, his intense gaze seeming to wrap around James, making him feel both vulnerable and safe. The combination of Sirius’ teasing touch and Remus' steady, controlling presence left James feeling exhilarated and a touch dizzy.

"Well" he had to clear his throat again "red means stop, everything comes off, the scene is now ended, and when all parties are in a good space, we discuss what happened, yellow means a break or a moment to collect yourself, sometimes an ask for adjustments or reassurance, green means everything is okay and whatever is happening can continue."

"Very good" Remus praised "Just so everyone is on the same page, these apply to all of us". Sirius somehow moved even closer, one of his hands sneaked to the back of James's head. It was grounding to have someone touch him in this way it helped him stay in the moment "Since we don't know each other that well, I think we should go slow tonight. Before me or Sirius do anything we will ask for your colour."

"I like that, seems reasonable", James answered. It was a little tricky to do any extreme stuff with people who don't even know his last name.

"There are some things that are hard limits for us; we don't do watersports, blood or scat play."

James scrunched up his nose, "Me neither, not my thing." At least they were on the same page about those kinks. 

Remus smiled at him, this was a good start "Also never call me a monster, if you ever call me that it will be the immediate end of any scene" James guessed that this limit had something to do with those scares. He was not about to ask tho. A limit could be placed on anything at any time without questions. At last, that's what James believed to be true, not everyone respected this. 

"Well, my limits are mostly about impact play, I don't think you will be doing any of that darling", Sirius whispered into his ear "Do you have any limits that you would like to share with us?"

"Any form of permanent body modification and face slapping or hitting, a little spanking on my ass or thighs is appreciated but nothing that will actually hurt me" James took a deep breath "I will not call any of you Master that's a hard limit."

"When it comes to me, I just like to use my name," Sirius said "Remus likes to be called Sir, it makes him all hot and bothered" Remus gave his husband a look, but didn't comment "What do you like, darling? What gets you all hot and bothered?"

You do, he thought.

"I have a praise kink, that's a big one for me," James answered truthfully, he wanted to have a good time so he had to push through some of his embarrassment "I'm okay with kneeling, bondage, sensory play, any form of anal play. I can receive and give as long as someone is telling me what to do" James was sure his face matched the shade of his shirt. Sirius moved his fingers through James' curls, grabbed a handful and lightly pulled. James closed his eyes for a second, he could feel how hard he was.

"Very good darling, thank you for sharing with us" Sirius purred in his ear. He was so close, that James could smell his perfume. Sandwood and tobacco were the dominating scents. 

Remus, however, seemed to be observing the situation from afar. "I have another rule for you" His position was relaxed, and he was leaning back in his chair "I want you to ask for permission to come. All of your pleasure belongs to us tonight. You are required to ask both of us, and both of us have to permit you to do so."

"Yes, Sir, I agree", James moaned. He couldn't keep it in anymore. Sirius slid his hands over James' shoulders and chest. A question popped up in his mind, "Sir, what should I do if my mouth is occupied and I need to safeword?" he looked up at Remus. He made sure to look as innocent as possible. He wanted to play. Sirius stopped moving, his hands stilled on James' body.

Remus finally moved forward, "Give me your hand", he requested. James eagerly fulfilled his request. Remus took his hand gently, "I want you to tap your fingers three times. Like this," he tapped the back of James' hand. His body was vibrating with anticipation. He had both men touching him right now, and he didn't want them to stop any time soon "This is your safeword for when your pretty mouth is busy, baby boy. Got it?" Remus asked, now holding James' wrist. His hands were bigger than James'. He had a few scars decorating them as well. James wondered if Remus had scars in other places on his body. He was looking forward to discovering that later tonight. 

"Yes, Sir", he answered, sending Remus his best smile. 

Notes:

Thanks for all of the comments and kudos <3

Chapter 3: Intense Eye Contact

Summary:

Remus is in fact bigger than James

Notes:

It's here ... the thing we have all been waiting for.

Also happy Valentines' Day <3

All three of them decided to finally move into one of the private rooms.

The playrooms were pretty similar to each other. They all had a cosy vibe and an attached bathroom. The colours were mostly natural; there was a big bed and a dresser filled with different types of toys. If someone wanted a rougher setting, they had to go to the basement of the club. James didn't like it; he was there a couple of times, and each of those ended badly. His ex liked the basement.

Remus switched the light above the door from green to red to make it known that the room was now occupied.

"Give me a minute, I have to use the bathroom", James said, already making his way into the other smaller room. He suddenly felt nervous, maybe because he hadn't done this in a while, maybe because he had never had a threesome with two guys before. He decided to just go for it, after all, he was excited. Both Sirius and Remus were handsome, and the talk they had earlier was successful in terms of ticking off his mental boxes. He made sure to clean himself just in case, splashed some cold water on his face and took a few deep breaths "You got this, Potter", he whispered to himself. After leaving the bathroom, he put his important stuff on the small table next to the door. James was prone to losing things, so he had to take extra steps to make sure it didn't happen as often as it did. The last thing he did was take off his glasses.

Sirius decided to take off his leather jacket, and his arms were covered in tattoos. With all black, fine-line tattoos, James was ready to explore all of them. Not only was he turned on, but he was also really curious. He took a step closer to the middle of the room, making his presence known. Sirius turned around and gave him a small smile. Remus sat on the bed; he unbuttoned a few top buttons of his shirt. Green eyes met brown "Are you okay? Do you want to continue what we started?"

At first, James wanted to bite his tongue, but decided against it. He wanted to push them a little before fully giving his submission "We haven't done anything yet", he answered, tilting his head to the side "All we do is talk."

Sirius' smile got bigger, he was enjoying this playful side of James. He took a step closer, but his hands stayed unmoving. Remus, however, was not impressed. He raised one of his eyebrows "I don't like this attitude, but since it's your first time with us, I will let one slide", he said, his eyes never leaving James "If you do this again, there will be consequences. Tell me your colour."

"It's green, Sir", James answered, bowing his head slightly. 

"Good boy", Remus nodded his head approvingly and stood up, making his way to the other two "Was that so hard? I ask such simple questions, I expect simple answers" he stood behind James, so close yet so far. James was trapped between those two, he could see the effect it had on Sirius. His hands flexed at his sides as if he had to put effort into not touching anybody right now. He had a lovely shade of red colouring his pale cheeks "What is it, pup? Do you want to give James a little kiss?" Remus spoke in his deep voice, his hand went right to James' hair. He started to run his fingers through those wild black curls. Just like James suspected, Remus was taller than he was, and it was amazing.

"Yes, please, my love. Can I kiss him?" Sirius asked. James wanted to move, to grab this handsome face and just smash their lips together. But he couldn't. His feet were glued to the floor. There was a hand on his waist keeping him in place. He also liked that they talked about him as if he wasn't there, maybe other people would find this off-putting, but he loved it. James wanted to please them, be nothing more and nothing less than that.

Remus made a sound in the back of his throat. It was a warning "No pup" his hand sneaked from James' chest to his neck. He tensed up suddenly, remembering something; he knew he had to speak up before anything more extreme happened.

"Yellow", his voice trembled. James put all of his energy into that. The hands didn't move away from his body, but two sets of eyes were now focused on him.

"What is it, darling?" Sirius asked, his expression worried.

"No choking, it's a hard limit" The hand on his neck moved. He quickly grabbed it and put it back where it was "This is fine, you can hold my neck like this," he said, turning around so he could look Remus in the eyes "Just no squizzing".

"Of course, baby", Remus said. "Thank you for speaking up about this. Are you okay?" James appreciated this reaction. He could see that consent was a big thing for this couple. Remus stroked his hair gently. 

"Yes, green", James answered truthfully. 

Remus nodded and moved back to their previous position. James relaxed in his arms "I don't think you deserve it, Padfoot" he stroked James' hair again. Sirius whined and bit his lip "Don't you think that I should go first? Maybe you should be more patient." Remus was teasing. He liked to watch Sirius struggle just a little. 

"But I saw him first" his voice was playful, and he reached his hand forward to grab James. Remus was faster. He turned James' head and pressed their lips together. James was surprised at first, but he quickly recovered and started to kiss Remus back. He happily let Remus slip his tongue into his mouth. The kiss got hot, and Remus pulled on James' bottom lip, biting gently. James let out a little whine, and Remus went back to exploring his mouth. Sirius had had enough of being ignored, he moved his hands from James' chest to his shoulder. He pulled James forward, and he went willingly "My turn" he said, before attacking James' lips. This kiss was different, more rushed, and hungry. Where Remus was exploring, Sirius was claiming. He was chaotic with it. James could feel his head spinning with all of the attention he was getting. He tried to follow Sirius' pattern, but there was nothing to follow, so he just let Sirius enjoy himself.

"That's enough, pup" Suddenly, James was pulled back into Remus' hold "So naughty", he commented and pulled James' hands behind his back. He wrapped his fingers around them and squeezed. 

"I couldn't help myself, Moony. Can you forgive me?" Sirius smiled, but he didn't sound apologetic. His fingers moved on top of his white T-shirt, and he took it off, throwing it somewhere behind himself. His pale, skinny chest was covered in ink. James wondered if there was a piece of bare skin on this man's body. His nipples were pierced, and James wanted to lick them "Look at you, darling. Do you want to touch me?" he said and turned around. He bent down to take off his shoes, one by one. He moved slowly, sensually.

James let out a soft, frustrated sound as he felt his hair being tugged once more. The gentle yet firm grip was enough to send a shiver down his spine. He turned his head slightly, and in that moment, Remus leaned closer, whispering softly into his ear, "Be a good boy, James." There was a teasing lilt in his voice, and it sent a rush of warmth to James’s cheeks. Remus’s breath was warm against his skin, and the closeness felt both intimate and electrifying. James closed his eyes for a brief moment. "I know he's beautiful," Remus continued, his tone laced with admiration. The way he spoke, with such sincerity, made James’s heart race. 

"So beautiful," James murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sirius let out a little chuckle "Oh, you like what you see, darling" he finally started to take off his pants. He was clearly showing off his perfect round ass. He stood in front of the other two in just his boxers. When he turned back, there was a pretty noticeable bulge there.

"What do you want to do, baby boy?" Remus whispered, and he tugged his head back again. 

"I want to suck him off, please Sir" James whined, his mouth watering. Sirius started to unbutton James' shirt, he was painfully slow with it "Please, Sirius, let me do it" he was slowly losing his mind. Sirius pushed the shirt off his shoulders, and Remus grabbed it and pulled it off. His hands were released for a second, but Remus quickly got a hold of them "I will be good for you, I promise" Sirius ran his fingers down, over James's abs, and stroked his happy tail, causing James to almost collapse. Remus and only Remus was keeping him upright.

"Shhh, baby boy" Sirius had a wicked grin on his face. "I know you will be so good for me, for us" his hand started to undo his belt "But my Moony right here loves patients, you could say that it's one of his kinks" James's pants dropped to the floor "So boys who can wait, and follow his rules, get rewards" Sirius bent down to take James' shoes and pants off. He was left in just his underwear.

"And boys who don't get punished," Remus said. "I'm going to let go of your hands now, I want you to kneel and keep your hands behind your back", he squeezed them together again. "Like this." His voice demending.

James stopped to think for a second, his head delightfully fuzzy. He decided to continue the scene "Green Sir." 

"Good boy", Remus praised and let go of him.

James slid to the floor. He took a deep breath and relaxed. His boxers seemed tight, but he could ignore it. His pleasure came second. He also loved edging, he trained his body so much that he had full control of his orgasms. If he orgasmed without permission, it was usually done on purpose. He focused his eyes on the floor in front of him. James didn't have permission to look. He could hear the sounds of kissing, and a little moan coming from Sirius, "Moony let him do it", he whispered against Remus' lips.

"Well, just look at him", Remus said "Such a good boy" James felt himself throb. He didn't lie about his praise kink "So obedient, waiting for permission to suck your cock" a hand wrapped in his hair and moved his face up. He saw both of the men lean down to watch. Sirius' skin turned into a lovely shade of pink, Remus was still fully clothed standing behind his husband, his hand moved to Sirius' underwear, and he pushed it down reviling his hard cock. Right in front of James' face, "Do you want it, baby boy? Can Sirius fuck your pretty face?" Remus moved his hand, slowly jerking Sirius off.

"Yes, please, I want it so bad" James was pathetic. He opened his mouth, letting his tongue out. Remus moved and showed Sirius forward, his dick slipped into James' open mouth. Both James and Sirius let out a moan. James moved his tongue, exploring the taste.

"Come on, pup," Remus said, kissing Sirius' shoulder. "Give him what he wants", Sirius started snapping his hips "James, you can hold onto Sirius' legs" James put his hands on Sirius. He was grateful for the change of position. He happily relaxed his jaw and let Sirius fuck his face. He was enjoying the fast pace, and Sirius tasted amazing. He closed his eyes for a second, and the hand in his hair tugged again, "Keep your eyes on us, baby." Remus was leaning in, watching the way that James pleased Sirius. 

"Yes", Sirius was panting, his voice broken by the movement. "Keep your eyes open, darling", he threw his head back. His long black hair fell on his shoulders, and he somehow got even faster with his thrusts. "Fuck so good" he was now repeatedly hitting the back of James' throat. "I'm going to come fuck" he uttered. James found Remus' eyes above Sirius' shoulder, and they held eye contact when Sirius was using him. It was intense for sure. Finally, Sirius finished. James swallowed every last drop of his cum and sucked, until he went soft in his mouth, and pulled out.

"Very good, James", Remus praised, with a small smile. He helped Sirius move onto the bed and gave him a little forehead kiss. Some words were whispered between them, but James was too far away to hear what was said. He didn't mind, he had a minute to himself, and he tried to regulate his breathing "That was so nice, baby boy" Remus came back to where James was kneeling. He didn't even notice until Remus pulled his hair again, "Letting pup use you."

"Please", James looked up into those green eyes again.

"What is it, baby?" Remus asked with his hand, moving to James' face and holding it gently. His thumb stroked over James' cheek. 

"You", James was losing his ability to speak, his mind now fuzzy with submission. His eyes were a little hazy, with blown-out pupils. "Can I do you now? Please, Sir," Remus took a deep breath. He didn't expect James to ask for that.

"Are you sure, baby boy?" he spoke softly and stroked his face. "Can you handle it?"

James moved his face and rubbed against Remus' pants."Yes, I want to please you", he whispered against the harsh fabric. 

"Oh, you are in for a treat, darling," Sirius said from his spot on the bed. He turned around and was now lying on his front. Watching the other two. Remus considered the proposal for a minute, but James was convincing.

"You remember how to tap out," he asked, looking into those huge brown eyes. James moved his hand and tapped his fingers against Remus's clothed thigh. Remus took a step back, undid his belt and let his pants fall. James saw it before he took off his boxers. The outline was huge. Remus was huge. James swallowed, but opened his mouth, letting his tongue out. He was ready, "Such a good boy", Remus commented before putting his hand back into James's hair. His hand moved his underwear down, and that huge cock popped out.

It was the biggest cock James had ever seen.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 4: Your Eyes Make Me Shy

Summary:

The fun night and early brunch.

James was staring. In all of his 27 years of life, he has never seen a dick this big. And he was not a prude. He has seen a lot of dicks in his lifetime.

Remus slowly stroked himself. He was hard, but he knew that James could change his mind. A cock this size can be intimidating. He wanted to give him some time to make a decision.

"You didn't expect this, darling", Sirius said, still lying on the bed. He was relaxed, smiling from ear to ear. After all, he was the only one in the room truly satisfied. "You can go for it; just be careful, baby boy. Remember your safewords," he encouraged.

James moved forward and placed his hands on Remus' still-clothed tights. There was something powerful about Remus standing before him, almost fully dressed. He took a deep breath and started to suck on Remus' head slowly, he took his time, he run his tongue on one of the thick, visible veins.

"That's it baby boy" Remus praised "Enjoy yourself, such a good boy." he ran his fingers through James' hair, pulling gently.

He got a little lost in his task. Suddenly, he felt Sirius on his side. A hand was placed on the back of his head, he was pushed. "That's our good boy", Sirius whispered directly into his ear, biting it. James relaxed his jaw as much as he could, but he struggled. He pulled away for just a second. He quickly recovered and took Remus back into his mouth. This time he managed to swallow almost all of him. The pace was so slow, it was painful. Remus was taking deep breaths, his face was covered in sweat, and his muscles were tense. The fingers in James' hair pulled again, and Remus started to move his hips. Sirius was stroking James' arms "He's so big, it's so nice isn't it?' he whispered making James moan around Remus "So nice, and you are taking him so nice too" James could feel tears on his face, he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up.

"Pads open your mouth now" Remus grabbed his dick, removing it from James' mouth. Sirius was ready; his mouth open, tongue out. Remus stopped holding back, his fingers moving through that long black hair. He was moving his hips, fucking Sirius' face, chasing his orgasm. There was a part of James that was a little disappointed; he wanted to be the one who made Remus feel good, but he was also realistic. There was no way that he could handle that cock without training. Sirius must be used to it. The two of them were staring into each other's eyes. Remus let out a loud groan before snapping his hips forward and burying himself deeply in Sirius.

"Fuck that's hot," James said under his breath.

"Thank you pup" Remus whispered as his now soft dick slipped out of Sirius' mouth. Suddenly, James felt a hand grab his face, long fingers stroking over his cheeks. Sirius turned, and they were now facing each other. He started leaning his body towards James, he kissed him. James could taste Remus on his tongue. It made him moan, he had to close his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he was so turned on "So pretty for me", he heard Remus from above, and he moaned again. His hips moved, and he started to hup air "What do you think, pup? Did James earn a reward?" Remus asked, noticing desperation in James' moves.

Sirius pulled away, still holding his face "Oh, I think he did well." His fingers slid over James' cheeks.

Those sinful fingers moved from his face down to his neck "I think so too, Pads" Remus sat down on the bed "Come here, boys", he said, lying down against the headboard. James noticed that Remus put his belt back on. It seemed that James would not see his naked body tonight.

Sirius helped him stand up, his legs were shaking as the two of them crossed the room. Remus leaned back against the pillows, his eyes relaxed but still powerful. Sirius stood behind him, running fingers up and down James' arms and chest, avoiding the place James wanted them to touch the most. He was arching in his boxers. His skin was slick with sweat, and he tried to keep his breathing under control. Sirius finally moved his hands down to James' dick. He let out a small moan when those skilled fingers touched him. He threw his head back to rest against Sirius' shoulder.

"I want you to look at me, baby boy," Remus said with a predatory smirk. James snapped his head back "Pads keep going" Sirius helped him step out of his boxers, leaving him completely bare.

Sirius went back to stroking James. He was slow, twisting his wrist in all the right places "Such a nice, good boy," he whispered, sending a shiver down James' spine.

He was in hell and heaven at the same time. It felt amazing.

"Go faster, James keep your hands behind your back" James moved his hands to grab onto his elbows. Now they were trapped between his back and Sirius' chest.

Sirius started moving his hand way faster, James screamed in pleasure, his dick was now heavily leaking. If it wasn't for his amazing self-control, he would have already spiled. "Please", he said after catching his breath.

"What was that?" Remus moved forward, he raised one of his eyebrows "Did you hear something Pads?"

"No, I don't think so", Sirius answered, speeding up the movements of his hand.

Remus was now kneeling on the bed in front of James, reaching for his face and tugging his hair back. It sent another wave of electricity down his body. He loved having his hair pulled "Please, Sir," he choked out, "Sirius, please let me ..." he didn't finish his plea because Remus kissed him. Well, James couldn't kiss him back; he was more focused on breathing. Remus didn't seem to mind; he kissed his slightly open mouth, biting on his lower lip. One of his hands moved down to play with James' nipples. Sirius moved his unoccupied hand to play with James' balls, rolling them between his fingers "Can I please ... come?" he asked against Remus' lips.

"What do you think, my love?" Remus asked. He was watching James' body tense up. 

"I think he deserves it, Moony", Sirius answered in a playful tone.  

James let out a pathetic-sounding whine. He got Sirius' permission, but he had to wait for Remus to give him one as well. The hand in his hair pulled again "Please Sir" he whispered. His voice was gone, and his mind was wiped out. But he wanted to be good.

"Good boy," Remus twisted his fingers, pulling James' nipple "Come for us."

That was enough for James to finally let go; he only needed a few more strokes and was spilling all over Sirius' hand. His body was vibrating with pleasure, he had to put great effort into keeping himself upright. He and Sirius were still standing on the ground in front of the bed. Sirius kept his arms wrapped around him, it was comforting.

"Let go, baby boy" Remus grabbed his body so he wouldn't slide to the floor, and he helped James get on the bed. It wasn't graceful, but the three of them made it work "I'm so proud of you", Remus whispered into his ear. James was put in the middle, between the other two. Sirius pulled a soft blanket over them. He cuddled close to James and stroked his fingers down his now-covered chest. Remus stood up and grabbed a water bottle. He helped James take a few sips "That's it, baby, let me take care of you now" he whispered and ran his finger down James' nose "You were amazing" he somehow pulled both James and Sirius close to him "You too pup" he gave both of them little forehead kisses. James relaxed, and aftercare was an important part of the scenes. They stayed like that for quite some time, until he fully returned to his body.

---

James woke up with a loud groan. His phone was ringing, who on earth would call on Sunday before 10 am?

"Yes?" James picked up his phone from the bedside table, his morning voice cracking slightly. He closed his eyes and covered them with his forearm.

"Jamie, I just wanted to remind you of our brunch. We found the restaurant, you know the one that we talked about on Wednesday?"

"Yes, ma", James rolled over "I remember" That was a lie; James forgot. The good thing was that his mother was very aware of that. She was very used to reminding him of ... well, everything. His father was the same, she always said that if his head was not attached to his body, he would lose it too.

He and his father were extremely similar, especially in the looks department. Tan, brown skin, the same curly black hair, and blinding wide smiles. But James was truly his mother's son when it came to personality, he had the same kind heart as she did. And more often than not that heart brought more bad than good into his life.

"Your father checked the menu and it says that they serve the dish you like. What was it called again?" she asked.

"Croque monsieur, ma" James answered, his French was not perfect, but after years of expensive education, he could pronounce some things. He rolled out of bed. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep.

"Yes, that", he could hear that Effie was moving around, probably in the garden outside. The sun was out, which meant that his mother was out. She loved taking care of her garden, and she took great pride in all of her beautiful flower beds "We made the reservation at 11.30. You will be there, yes?"

"I will. Don't you worry", he stood up and stretched his back. "I promised." 

"Silly boy", he could hear a smile in her voice. "See you soon, love you dear"

"Love you too, ma", he answered and ended the call. 

He put his glasses back on and made his way into the bathroom. James had a wonderful weekend; his Friday night activities left him not only extremely relaxed but also satisfied. On Saturday, he had to make a quick trip to the Gallery, but even difficult clients couldn't ruin his mood. He and his assistant Marlene (or maybe he should say friend) made sure that every little thing ran smoothly. The PAG was open on Sundays, of course, but James didn't feel the need to be there today. Being the boss has its perks. If something important came up, Marlene would give him a call.

Stepping into the shower, he had to make a mental plan. James loved his parents and was always honest with them. But even he didn't want to share the details of a steamy night between him and not one but two sexy men. Since he and Lily were still really close, his parents were aware of the type of club his best friend owned. They even attended the opening night, although they only stayed for the 'clothes on' part of the evening. His family was always supportive of him and his choices, even if they didn't fully understand them. But they drew the line when it came to his safety. After what his ex put him through, his parents, especially his mother, became a little bit more harsh when it came to the topic of their son's romantic partner. James couldn't blame them for that protection, and he was grateful for everything his parents provided for him, but sometimes it was frustrating.

While in the shower, his mind wandered. He saw piercing grey eyes, and black tattoos, alongside beautiful green eyes, scared hands and a pair of kissable lips.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 5: Sweet Boy

Summary:

James has to take care of many things at work, he needs someone to take care of him after hours.

Notes:

I have no idea how any of this ‘owner of an art gallery’ works so bear with me.

In my mind James can exhibit and sell art from his gallery. How any of that works in the real world - is none of my business.

Also for anyone confused about the PAG it stands for Potter Art Gallery.

The comments are open if you want to yell at me (or make corrections about that).

James started to get frustrated.

When he became the owner of PAG, he decided to promote some new faces. He wanted to give people space to see new creative art. And usually, his collaborations with artists were smooth; after all, he was a people person. James always wanted to give new people a chance. He was good at finding new artists, and helping them display and sometimes sell their art. But not this time.

This time he was dealing with a nepo baby.

The irony was not lost on him.

"Marls tell me he called you back" James removed his glasses to rub his eyes. She shook her head no. He leaned his head back in his chair "Do we have any backup? I have a feeling that he will cancel last minute just like he did the last two times".

"There's a few," she grabbed her laptop and put it in front of him. Marlene created a list of potential new artists, with their names and photos of their art, "You just have to choose one, boss". James took a quick look through the names. His eyes lingered on one of them.

S.O.B.

He clicked on the profile and was insanely impressed. The paintings looked amazing, a little dark, but James was intrigued. It was something that he didn't have in his gallery.  

"Oh I like this one," Marlene said leaning over his shoulder, resting her hands on his back. If someone who didn't know these two saw them, they would think something inappropriate was happening between the boss and his assistant. But no, James was professional and would never let anything like this happen.

Also, Marlene was a lesbian

But that's beside the point.

She was very touchy, and he didn't mind. However, he had to remind her not to act like this in front of clients. She was the first person he hired after taking over the PAG, and instantly these two became very good friends. James was very grateful to have someone like her on his side. Marlene was not only great at organising his time and making schedules. She was amazing at confrontation. If James was the one dealing with that, his Gallery would go bankrupt within the first year. She, however, didn't let anybody play any games.

"I say we drop that idiot who ~ can't find any inspiration ~ and hire this guy," she said, already reaching for her company phone "I can call him right now. If you want, of course".

James hated this, but he tried to give this guy a chance. For the last six months, he's been met with nothing but excuses.

"I think you're right, Marls" he took a glance at the beautiful paintings still displayed on the screen "Can you also contact this S.O.B guy? I want to know how fast he can work with us"

She was already nodding, already stepping out of his office "On it, boss" She closed the door behind herself, leaving James alone with his thoughts.

---

Since that infamous Friday night about three weeks ago, James has been at the club every Friday.

And every Friday he saw the intoxicating couple. He liked them, felt comfortable, each time he left satisfied. He, Sirius and Remus always did the same thing, and it was nice. Nothing more than blow jobs and hand jobs, he was okay with that.

Not tonight though, he didn't want 'nice'.

James was in a mood. After the nepo baby fiasco, he needed someone to take the lead. Or in his case two someones.

They were already in one of the private rooms, they always chose the same one. Remus seemed to like this particular one, "I like the bed, it's pleasant" he commented when asked about it. James didn't have the heart to tell him that all of the beds (and other rooms) were cosy. He couldn't care less about which room they were in, as long as it wasn't the basement.

"James hands behind your back" Remus said loud and clear. James and Sirius were making out, they were sitting down on the bed while Remus was taking care of the light above the door. Both he and Sirius took off their clothes as soon as they made it inside the room, Remus, as always, stayed clothed. James had an option to submit, he decided to simply not listen to what Remus had asked of him. One of his hands made its way to Sirius's silky hair, the other was resting on his leg, "I'm not going to ask you again"

James made a 'mhm' sound and moved his hand higher, closer. He was still kissing Sirius as if Remus was not there, standing above him and watching, "You're gonna get in trouble darling" Sirius whispered pulling away slightly. A wicked grin spread on his face, Sirius matched it "But don't complain when you get what's coming for you".

"I don't know what's coming for me", James whispered back. "Maybe you guys can't handle me" he kissed those red lips one more time "Maybe all you do is talk, darling", he said the last word mimicking Sirius.

He wanted to say one more thing, but suddenly there was a hand pulling his hair back, "That's enough," Remus' deep voice sounded in his ears. "You want to be disobedient", he was pulling more, and more. "You want to talk back" Remus had to bend down, so he was at James' eye level "Answer me slut".

"What are you going to do about it, Sir?" James made sure to look into Remus' eyes, he was not backing down now.

"I will teach you a lesson, baby boy", he raised his hand, making James stand up from the bed. He hissed, Remus didn't seem to care, but he still asked "Colour?"

"Green" James breathed out. As soon as the word made it out of his mouth, James was being pushed onto the floor, to kneel. There was something so powerful about the way that fully dressed Remus pushed naked James to the floor, with nothing but his hand wrapped in James' wild curls. His head was being tugged again, Remus looked down, and nodded. Suddenly his hands were being tied behind his back. Sirius was working fast but thoroughly. He ensured that the knots he tied were not too tight so they would not cut circulation, but tight enough so James could not move. He was using a long red rope. James liked it. The rope was wrapped around his arms, and chest.

"Really nice pup" Remus commented, gently petting Sirius' head. "Now your hands are where they belong", he grabbed the rope pulling it forward, making James almost fall. Sirius threw a pillow in front of him, and this time Remus pushed him all the way down. It was humiliating, without his hands, James just fell forward. He awkwardly moved up, and spread his legs for better balance. James was fully exposed. His head was falling of the edge of the pillow, and his painfully hard dick was digging into it. This position made it impossible to see anything that was going on around him. He had to look at the floor.

Suddenly there was a hand on his backside. James felt something wet and cold enter him. It was a finger covered in lube. He let out a hissing sound, more surprised than scared. He got a small slap on his right cheek "I don't want to hear you, darling," then another slap on his left. They were more playful than painful but James decided not to test the new rule. He got what he wanted after all.

"Pup hurry up, we don't have all day", Remus said as if he was bored. James relaxed as much as he could, but suddenly Sirius showed two fingers into him. James bit his lip to stay quiet, "Look at you", his head was being lifted. "You like this", James nodded as much as Remus' hand allowed it. "Such a slut, his mouth gets shut when he has fingers in his ass" Remus tighnet his grip, James' head was spinning in the best way.

"He's so tight too" Sirius scissored his fingers. James wanted to scream, Remus let go.

Something was being pushed inside. Nothing big but James could feel the stretch. When Sirius seemed satisfied with his task, James felt him move away from his spot. For a second he wondered what was placed, but Remus didn't let him wonder for long. Abruptly he felt strong vibrations go through his body.

"Oh baby boy" Sirius said mockingly "It's too much, too soon". James let out a loud groan, the toy was nestled right against his prostate. "What did I say darling? No sounds", Sirius was on the floor right next to his head "Maybe I should shut you up", James made another sound, he was trying, but it seemed impossible "Slut needs a dick in his mouth"

"That's an excellent idea, my star"

"All of my ideas are excellent", Sirius grabbed James' head and positioned himself. His hard cock was brushing against James' lips.

"Please Sirius" James was so ready for this. His mind whipped off any thoughts, he was here to please them, he finally wanted to be good. Filled from both ends.

"You are such a sweet boy when you want to be", Remus commented. Sirius, however, didn't need more encouragement. He started moving his hips, face fucking James. The pace was brutal, it was clear that James was not the only one balancing on the edge. "Pads that's enough" everything stopped. The hard flesh was being pulled out of James' mouth. Sirius was shaking but he managed. "Get on the bed, lie down". Remus grabbed the rope once again, making James move back to his knees. The change in position made the vibrator in him move deeper. His eyes rolled back with pleasure. Suddenly he felt Remus' lips on his, and he realised that this was their first kiss tonight. It was short. "If you were a good boy", Remus pulled away, "and spoke out about what you wanted", he smirked "I would let you touch Sirius and maybe if you got lucky I would let you touch me". James was facing the bed "Now all you get is watching me fuck my husband".

James let out a moan.

"And you like it" Remus chuceld to himself "Such a good slut".

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 6: Make Love Make Art

Summary:

James is having a little bit of a hard time. But don't worry, it's mostly in his head.

Notes:

Some trouble in paradise. It's mostly due to James' insecurities and past experiences.

Also, did I just post two chapters in less than a week, go me.

He had a front row seat to the whole show.

Sirius was spread out on the bed, his black hair laid around him like a halo. He had a little bit of stubble, but it was always clean and intentional. James felt the vibrator move again, it was set on a low setting. "Moony, come on my love," Sirius rolled on his front, his ass presented, his legs dangling from the edge of the bed. James bit back a moan. 

"Shh pup" Remus stroked his back softly "I want to make you feel good". He pulled out a little bottle of lube, and started to slowly prep his husband. The sounds coming out of Sirius' mouth were truly sinful. James was heavily leaking now. He was happy tho, excited to watch. James had no idea how much time passed, but Remus finally decided that Sirius was ready for more. He grabbed those gorgeous legs and positioned them on the bed. "Atleast one of you is good at following instructions, stay like this Pads" he wiped his hands on Sirius' ass cheeks. 

Remus reached for his shirt, and pulled it off himself. If James was not already kneeling on the ground, he would have dropped to his knees. Remus was beautiful, his skin was tan and covered with those white scars. Just like James suspected, the rest of Remus' body was covered in scars. This time he couldn't keep it in, he moaned. Remus smirked but didn't comment, he reached for pants, getting them off along with his underwear. He was standing in the middle of he room looking like a Greek god. "You regret it now darling" Sirius said, looking at James. "Next time remember to use your words", he smiled, and let his head fall onto the bed.

The annoying vibrations increased, it was not enough to make him come, but it was enough to keep him on the edge.

James watched as Remus approached Sirius, hard cock in his hand. He stroked himself a few times and pushed forward, "That's it, my star" he whispered as Sirius' body relaxed under him. He was moving slowly, his muscles flexing. 

"Fuck Moony" Sirius threw his head back, pushing himself back against Remus. "You always feel so nice", Remus grabbed Sirius' neck from behind, and pulled him against his chest. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room. Sirius was louder than Remus (and James). He was making all kinds of sounds. "Yes, yes ... please fuck me, my love" he whimpered when Remus incrised his pace. Sirius was hard, leaking all over the bed. James wished to wrap his lips around that cock. 

He watched as those two moved together, he could see the love they had for each other. He saw when Remus finally let go and started chasing his release, usually he was a little reserved. Tonight James saw a new side of him. 

"Sirius, jerk yourself off", his breathing was fast. Sirius didn't hesitate, he started to move. James noticed that Remus' hand tightened around Sirius' throat. "Fuck I'm close" his movements never got sloppy, that man had a crazy control of his body. James watched and for a short moment forgot how to breathe. Sirius spiled, ropes of cum falling on the bed. Remus was quick to follow, snapped his hips once, twice and buried himself deep in Sirius. His body relaxed, he let go of Sirius' neck, and hugged him from behind. His head resting between Sirius' shoulder blades. 

"Thank you, my love" Sirius said softly, as the two of them caught their breath, James was trying to come back to himself. This scene was intense, he knew it was his fault, but he was close to his limit. Suddenly there was a hand pulling his hair, he looked up into those green eyes. For a minute nothing happened, or maybe something did but James was too spaced out to notice. The vibration stopped and Remus gently ran his fingers through James' hair. Sirius moved from the bed and approached them. "Let's get you out of these, my darling", both of them helped him to his feet "That's it, get on the bed" Sirius laid him down, his hand pushing James' back down. 

"You did good, James", Remus started to undo the knots as Sirius was pulling on the toy still nestled inside of James. His dick was still hard, but it didn't matter right now. All he wanted was to be wrapped up in those two warm bodies. And maybe a forehead kiss, "I'm impressed, you listened so well, didn't even move an inch" he was being flipped on his back, as Remus continued to unrawal the rope. James let out a surprised moan when Sirius took him into his mouth. "I decided to give you a little treat" Remus stroked his face as James let out another loud moan. His body tensed up, the prise and Sirius' wonderful mouth had him hanging by his fingertips. 

"Sirius, please", James' head moved from side to side, Remus sat behind him, leaning against the pillows and pulled his body up. He felt like a doll being moved, but he was too exhausted to do anything. Now James was resting against his naked chest, "Sir, please" his voice gave out. Remus stroked his upper body. His touch slow and gentle. It was amazing. James didn't expect to come tonight, so if Remus permits him he's going to be the luckiest man alive. 

"It's okay you can come for us, baby boy" Remus whispered into his ear "I'm speaking for the both of us" he reassured. Sirius made an approving little sound and went back to his task. 

James let go, he didn't do anything, he laid back and enjoyed, and let Sirius finish him off. When he seemed satisfied with his work, he crawled up James' body and kissed him. "Such a good boy" he whispered against James' lips. "Letting me have my fun with his cock" Sirius was kissing his nose, his cheeks and lastly his forehead. Then Sirius and Remus kissed trapping him between them, right where he wanted to be. 

The rest of their time together was spent on cuddling and sharing a few pieces of chocolate. James learned that it was Remus' favourite treat. 

---

James had a wonderful Wednesday morning. Marlene even commented that he looked happy. She saw the change in his state of mind. Since he started spending every Friday at the club, his mood has drastically improved. James has always been quick with his feelings. He was not in love with Sirius and Remus, that would be ridiculous. He had been 'seeing' them for less than two months. One month, three weeks and five days to be exact. James had to be realistic, he had never seen them outside of the cosy room they always chose. Those two beautiful men had a life together, that life didn't include James. He was just a Friday night special.

And he was okay with that (for the most part).

There was also another thing. Something dark looming over him. He had to keep his head clear. He had to keep reminding himself to stay safe. To never let anyone, even Sirius and Remus, make him feel that way again. So maybe it was better this way, to stay in this weird in between with those two. If he doesn't let them in, he stays safe, single but safe.

He took a final sip of his now cold coffee, "James, you remember about the 10 a.m. meeting?" Marlene popped her head into his office. He nodded, even tho he forgot. James took a quick look at his calendar. He was about to meet S.O.B. James was intrigued but also a little nervous. What if this lad is a total menace just like the other one they had to fire? What if he's even worse?

"Well, he called and asked if it's okay to bring his husband", Marlene walked in, taking away the dirty coffee cup. "I assured him that it's fine, as long as he's hot" she said with a cheeky smile.

"Marls, we talked about this", he ran his hand through his messy hair. "You can't talk to our clients like that, not everyone gets your humor".

She waved her hand dismissively, "Actually he laughed and said that his husband is the hottest man on the planet", she smiled "He seems nice, you know ..."

"Marls please", he leaned back in his chair. Marlene was an amazing assistant and a great friend, however she made it her life mission to set him up. "I'm sure the married couple will be interested in me".

"You never know, Jamie" she ruffled his hair "You never know". James was about to argue with her but suddenly a knock interrupted them. "Please come in", Marlene called and quickly made her way to the office door.

"We were directed here, I hope we're not interrupting", James was frozen in his chair, he knew this voice. He heard it in his dreams every night. He tried to take a deep breath. Maybe this was just a coincidence; maybe there was a guy with a very similar voice, or maybe Sirius has a voice doppelgänger. It could happen, right?

"No don't worry mate" Marlene smiled and held the door open "Get in here, sit down with the boss". Two people made their way to his office. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears. Sirius and Remus, in his office, "This is James Potter, the owner", Marlene seemed to be completely oblivious to James' internal panic. "I'm Marlene, his right hand" she puffed out her chest.

"Right" Sirius cleared his throat, he seemed to recover from his initial shock. "We talked on the phone", his grey eyes sharp. It seemed like he was debating whether or not to continue this shit show.

"Yes, yes", Marlene said happily, "So you must be S.O.B. and this is your very hot husband", she pointed her short black painted nail at Remus.

Sirius pealed his eyes away from James to look back at her "That's me" he shook his head, and gave the most charming smile. To James it seemed a little fake, practiced, "You can call me Sirius", he gestured his hand ", and this is Remus".

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you", she shook both of their hands "I will leave you boys" Her work phone started calling, she left it on her desk outside. "Play nice", she stepped out of the room, leaving the three of them in complete silence. James' hands were shaking. This was a disaster.

"What the fuck James" Sirius turned around to face him "Is this some kind of a joke?" he was cleary pissed. He leaned forward, his hands resting on James' desk. Meanwhile Remus sat down at one of the empty armchairs in front of the desk. James glanced at him and noticed that he was using a cane. This was the first time James noticed it, maybe it had something to do with the scars covering Remus' body. Those green eyes looked deeply into him, Remus didn't have to say anything. James felt a shiver run down his spine, not the good kind. He made himself take a deep breath, he was in his office, Marlene was outside. He is in control, he is not about to have a panic attack.

"It's not", he rolled his shoulders to release some tension, it didn't help. "I didn't know".

"Yeah right", Sirius made his way to one of the giant windows, it seemed like he had to be moving. He focused on something outside, like looking into James' eyes was too much for him.

"You didn't give us a name, the only thing I know is S.O.B." His voice shook, "I'm not lying, you may not believe me, but I can assure you that you were chosen based on your skills", James was trying his best to sound honest. "I could say the same thing about you. Didn't you check, who you will be working for?"

Sirius turned around and made his way back to the desk. He sat down in the empty armchair, "No, I didn't", he seemed to realise his mistake in blowing up. Sirius has always been short-tempered.

"I did", Remus said, making both of them look back at him. "On the Potter Art Gallery website, it states that the owners are Fleamont and Euphemia Potter", he leaned forward. "I assume it's your parents" Sirius shifted in his chair, to look back at James. Now he had both sets of eyes on him.

"Yes, they took early retirement", James was so uncomfortable. "I'm the legal owner now, I will make sure to change it on the website", he needed Sirius, the exhibition was about to happen in less than two weeks. This was supposed to be a long time collaboration too, if Sirus pulls out now James is completely fucked.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 7: Together or Not At All

Summary:

Lily Evans is the voice of reason.

Notes:

James is in his feels.
But don't worry, Lily will help (hopefully).

Also did I turn Luna into a cat, yes I did.
Hope you enjoy this chapter <3

"Listen, James," Remus finally said after a few minutes of silence, seeing James struggle internally. "We should handle this like professional adults." James nodded and took a deep breath. "Also, I believe you are being truthful with us." Remus leaned back in the armchair, adopting a relaxed posture. "We have no reason not to trust you." James could see that those green eyes changed, he moved his head to look into the grey ones.

"Technically I did give you my name", Sirius said with a chuckle. "S.O.B. stands for Sirius Orion Black" he winked.

James was impressed with the mood change, the tense atmosphere lifted, at least a little bit. "Right" James scratched the back of his neck. "Do you want me to refer to you guys as Mr & Mr Black or ... " he asked, but he wasn't sure what type of relationship they wanted with him. If it was strictly professional, or friendly. 

"Actually, my last name is Lupin," Remus chimed in. James must have made a face; first of all, who came up with those names? Second of all, this married couple didn't share a last name, he wondered why.

"We know it's a little unconventional to have two different last names", Sirius said and picked up Remus' hand. He started to play with his wedding ring, "but we are pretty unconventional people". Remus gave him a small kiss on the side of his head and intertwined their fingers. 

"You can use our names, James, it's okay", Remus answered his question, he had a small smile playing on his lips. 

James relaxed a little bit, "Okay, so that's settled", he was trying to come up with the next thing to say. How is he supposed to continue this meeting? His usual confidence is gone. Or maybe this is the real James, anxious and insecure.

In all of a sudden, his office door opened, "Are you guys ready to discuss the details of the exhibition?" Marlene stepped in with her usual bright smile. She had her trusty notepad in hand, "James, right here can be a chatterbox but we need the specifics, and with all due respect he will forget about all of them". James was ready to kiss her feet, he was now fully convinced she was a witch. She made the rest of the meeting go on smoothly. Sirius was excited to start their collaboration, James breathed out in relief. At least the 'work' part was secured. Now he had to figure out the 'romantic' part. James didn't talk much for the rest of the meeting, no one commented on it. Although he was sure that Marlene would be asking him about it later, and he would have to lie. James Potter is fucking bad at lying. So he will be running away with a shity excuse. 

After Sirius and Remus left, he did exactly that. Marlene just rolled her eyes and commented "Okay whatever you say boss". She understood that pushing James to say anything he wasn't ready to share would only cause him to dig himself deeper into a hole. If she wanted to talk to him, she knew she'd have to wait him out.

James did what any sane person would do, he ran to his best friend's house. 

Of course he had a phone. 

He just didn't want to use it right now. 

James found himself standing in front of Lily's flat, knocking on the door. "Oh Jamie, hi!" Pandora exclaimed as she opened the bright yellow door. It stood out among the other dull brown doors. Pandora once said, "Yellow is the color of happiness, Jamie," and that ended the discussion. "Come in, you're shaking, we need to get you warm and dry again", she stepped to the side, letting him in. James didn't even notice the rain, so now he was not only extremely anxious, he was also wet. A small white ball of fur started to rub herself against his leg. James bent down, picking her from the floor, she imidetly started purring "Did you know that a cat's purring heals and can bring health benefits?" Pandora said (James was aware of that, this was not the first time she mentioned it). "So Luna is trying to cheer you up", the cat in question stretched out and settled against James' hold. 

"And you look like you need it, Potter" Lily appeared out of nowhere. "Marlene texted", she said and made her way to the living room. James trailed behind her. Just like everything else in their flat, the couch was the most colourful (hideous) thing James has ever seen, but it was cosy. Pandora loved every little eclectic thing she found, and Lily loved Pandora so she let her do whatever she wanted in the interior design department. It was kind of hilarious that the owners of a BDSM club lived in a place filled with colours and knick-knacks.

Pandora dropped a towel over his shoulders, "I will make some tea," she said before leaving the room. Her long white curls bouncing as she walked, Luna lifted her little head for a minute, but ultimately decided to stay with James. 

"Spill it, James" Lily said, crossing her legs. She put her arm on the back of the couch and turned to face him. Lily was a very good listener; she was also great at giving advice. However, sometimes she struggled with giving too much unsolicited advice. James didn't mind, he knew that she always had his best interest at heart. 

James used one hand to run the towel over his wet hair, "Do you remember when I told you about the couple?".

"The one you been shagging latly" she said with a little playful smile "you know every Friday, in my club". James blushed, he could feel his face getting progressively more red. There was no reason to be emberresed not in front of Lily for fuck sake. But Remus and Sirius just brought out this new side of him. "You mentioned them once or twice", James was aware that for the past month he has been acting like a teenage girl with a crush. 

"Yes", he cleared his throat. "Today they showed up in my office."

"James", her face got serious. "Did they follow you? Did something happen?" she was always concerned about everyone's safety. 

"No, God fuck no. It wasn't like that, " James was frustrated with this situation "Sirius is an artist, he will work with us, and I didn't know that it was him, and he called and asked if he could bring his husband ... " he was rambling. 

"Okay, slow down", Lily reached out and smoothed a hand down his back. "You didn't know?" 

"No", James took a deep breath. His hand found Luna's fur, maybe Pandora was right about the purring, "He only gave us his alias, or well his initials. I swear Lily, I had no idea"

"I believe you. I know you would never mess with someone's career like that," she smiled softly. "So what is it? From what you said, these two seem great, very respectful too", her hand was now making little circles on his back.

"They are amazing, Remus quickly deescalated the situation", James let out a sigh. He didn't want to say it, because saying it would make it real. "They did nothing wrong", he could feel Lily looking at him. She was giving him space to figure things out, "It's just so different. Them outside of the club, Remus was wearing a brown jumper, and Sirius' hair was in a little messy bun." He smiled to himself at the memory, they looked so nice. 

"I get it", she commented, nodding "Suddenly, they are no longer a fantasy anymore, they became real" James looked up. She wasn't judging, her face was calm "Do you want them to stay in the fantasy world?"

"Can I ask for more?" he uttered. This has been on his mind since the beginning. He just assumed that Remus and Sirius wanted one thing from him.

"James" she said in a menacing tone. "I want you to listen very carefully", even Luna looked up from the cosy spot on James' legs. "You deserve to feel loved. I know it's hard for you, after what you've been through, but I want you to be happy," she gave him a little smile. "You need to talk to them about it, and then you will know what they want. You can ask for things, they are adults, if they don't want to have a relationship with you, they need to communicate that." 

"I know", he let out a frustrated groan. "Why is it so hard, tho?" he knew she was right, he just didn't want to face his feelings. The idea of Remus and Sirius rejecting him, terrified James. So he was happy to spend Friday nights at the club as long as he could get a little bit of their attention. His head was spinning, questions without answers piled up. 

Lily pulled away and rested her back against the pile of colourful throw pillows, "You got invested", she said softly. "Based on the things you told me, I assume these two will be at least open to exploring polyamory. And who knows maybe this will end up being a beautiful thing." James ran his fingers through his now only slightly damp hair. He was sure that his curls were all messed up at this point. "You should think about this, remember that your voice matters. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," she reminded him. 

"I have to sleep on it", James said, leaning in for a hug. He wrapped himself around Lily, trapping Luna in between them. She jumped off his legs and made her way into the kitchen, probably looking for Pandora "Thank you, Lily, you are the best. I was seriously spiralling" he was still panicking, but now he at least knew what to do. He had to put his big boy pants on, he had to be brave. Even if it meant losing Remus and Sirius, James knew that there was no coming back from this. If they don't want the same thing as he does, he will have to stop seeing them. 

"I'm here for you James, always" she whispered into his hair "Also text Marlene, she was pretty freaked out."

---

Friday night rolled around. 

Sirius and Remus found themselves at their favorite table in the Shrieking Shack.

Wating. 

"Do you think he's going to show up?" Sirius asked, twirling the straw in his drink. Ever since the Wednesday meeting, they wondered if James was still on the same page.

"You want my honest answer", Remus said, looking at his husband. Sirius was watching the small stage. He wanted to distract himself. 

Sirius let out a sigh, "I just" he turned his head back to Remus "I like him, you know?" his usually sharp grey eyes turned a little misty. Remus knew that Sirius wore his heart on his sleeve. Remus was supposed to be the responsible one, but he fell just as quickly. How could he not? James seemed so amazing, handsome, funny when he let himself be. He was the perfect addition to their sex life, he was the missing piece.

"I know my star", Remus reached out to stroke Sirius' cheek. "My feelings are the same", they talked about this, many times over those past two months. They wanted to extend their relationship beyond the four walls of this club. "Maybe we can find someone else for tonight, a one night stand" he suggested.

"I don't want anybody else, Moony" Sirius made a face. Remus nodded, he said it but didn't genuinely want to do it. "Besides, James was supposed to be a one night stand" he said "and look at us now, sitting here, moping into fruity cocktails".

Remus chuckled, "Yeah we are bad at the whole 'no more thropules' rule" he stroked Sirius' hair out of his face "Who even came out with that?". He and Sirius were not new to this, although the last time something happened they knew the person. He was one of their closest friends. It didn't work out, when the relationship ended it was a fucking shit show. Sirius was so broken, Remus made a rule about never letting things get that far again.

James Potter made him change his mind.

Remus was the one who brought it up first. He surprised himself, when he felt those warm feelings toward James. He knew his husband and it was pretty clear that Sirius was in the same boat. There were several conversations between them, but ultimately both of them had the same fondness for those wild black curls and cute glasses.

"Yeah, Moons such a stupid rule" Sirius chuckled and leaned into his touch. "Do you think he feels the same way?"

"I don't know Pads", Remus let out a sigh and kissed Sirius' forehead. "We will have to ask him, my star".

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3
I also have a Tumblr account that I've had for some time. I never really used it, but if you want to hang out and ask questions, here is the link.

@littlemeangirl-wlw

Chapter 8: Forced Proximity

Summary:

The art exhibition leads to an important realization.

Notes:

Dramatic James Potter met a dramatic Sirius Black.

Remus Lupin just wants everyone to talk, at least he tries.

James decided to take a break from going to the Sherking Shak, that Friday.

He needed time to think, and he was one hundred per cent sure that if he showed up, there would be no talking. Lily told him that she saw them at their regular table, she debated approaching them but ultimately decided against it. He was grateful for that, he didn't want them to think that he went around gossiping about their sex life. James told Lily (and by extension Pandora) and no one else. He hadn't said anything to Marlene, and she was getting suspicious. But she could not keep it in around Remus and Sirius. He had to prevent that, even if it meant her being mad at him for a while.

James was not being very 'professional adult' about this. He knew when Sirius was at the PAG, yet he avoided him at all costs. He had his phone number, yet never dared to call or text. James knew that he would eventually have to face Sirius (and probably Remus too) at the exhibit. It was happening this Friday, and he would have to be present. 

He spent the whole morning on the phone with Lily. "Do you want me to go?" she asked when he was once again freaking out. 

"No Lily", he said, making his way through the main door of the Gallery "I can do this, just needed a little pep talk." They said their goodbyes and James put his phone back into his pocket. James made his way through the halls. When he arrived, he was mesmerised by Sirius' paintings. He was scheduled to meet with Marlene and the hired photographer to discuss the photos of the pieces. It would be better to meet before others arrived, so they wouldn’t be in the way. James walked around admiring those beautiful works of art. He met many artists in his lifetime, but Sirius was truly something else. Or maybe James was biased. 

The name of this collection was the most noble and ancient house of black, all written in lowercase. The theme was dark and mysterious. James stood before the largest painting, his eyes scanning the delicate brush strokes. The artwork resembled a family portrait, featuring two taller figures standing behind two smaller ones in the front. The larger figures appeared dark and almost demon-like, with claw-like fingers that seemed to dig into the smaller figures. The 'children,' as James interpreted them, looked soft and delicate. The bigger one of the smaller figures was looking straight ahead, and James felt those grey eyes bore into him. The other smaller figure gazed up at the 'parents,' a small tear running down its face. The creatures were dressed in normal human clothes, and the background looked relatively normal.

James felt a shiver run down his spine, he almost felt a claw dig into his shoulder. 

"It's one of my favourites" Malrene said, making him jump. He was so invested in the painting he didn't hear her. 

He put a hand on his heart that was about to jump out of his chest "Fuck Marls, you scared me."

"I think that's the point," she smiled as she walked around the room. "Look at that one." James turned his head in the direction she was pointing. "If I saw something like that, I would lose my shit." The painting was smaller but equally beautiful. It depicted a werewolf-like creature howling. One would expect a full moon in the background, but instead, the sky was empty, featuring just one shining star. James took a step closer to read the title of the piece.

My Moony

James smiled to himself, but then quickly turned around to face Marlene; this was not the right time for this.

"So where's the photographer?" he asked.

"She is on her way, I heard that she's good," Marlene answered his question. 

"Okay, that's great", he made his way to the entrance, he started to move things around the little table that stood there.

Marlene approached him, "James", she put her hand on his shoulder. "What's going on mate?" she asked, "I know you don't want to talk about the details but give me something." He looked up, just as he was about to open his mouth, a woman appeared. She was gorgeous, tall, her skin was dark, and she had these sharp eyes. She wore a long green dress and heels, she looked casual yet classy. There was a camera, around her neck. "She's hot" Marlene whispered to him, abandoning the topic of his recent weird behaviour. "You must be the photographer, I'm Marlene", she reached out her hand to shake, with a wild smile. It was a little comical, Marlene had such a big personality for such a small human. Her blond hair was an artistic mess as she liked to put it, and she almost exclusively wore jeans and band shirts. And of course her signature messy eyeliner. 

"Dorcas Meadowes", she shook Marlene's hand ", and yes I'm the photographer", she let go of Marlene and made her way to James. After a quick and polite 'how are you' she moved deeper into the room, already taking photos. 

"Fuck" Marlene made a noise next to him "she's mean too". James didn't think that Dorcas was practically mean, maybe she just didn't like small talk. Marlene was doing that thing again. She had a pattern; find a girl, get obsessed, hook up, and eventually when things get real - run away. She was good at flirting, and talking those sweet nothings, but as soon as she caught feelings she was out. James watched as she desperately attempted to get Dorcas' attention. The other woman seemed uninterested, or maybe some people are serious about their jobs and don't have time for blonde assistants who want to flirt with them. 

He turned back to the table to move brochures into a little neat stack. James looked up and saw them approaching the main entrance. 

Right. Marlene mentioned that Sirius was supposed to be present at this shoot. Also, the exhibit was planned to start in less than an hour. James smoothed his hands down his front, today he wore a simple white button-up, a black jacket and black matching dress pants. 

"James, hi" Sirius said, a little surprised as if he didn't expect James to be present "You look nice." He smiled softly. 

"You too," Sirius was wearing a black button-up shirt and black pants. His fingers were covered in silver rings and the dengly moon earring was back in his left ear, his hair was styled into soft waves. There was black liner around his eyes, it made them even more piercing. "I mean you look nice", James felt his face heat up. 

Marlene came skipping "Sirius we need you" she grabbed his hand draging him away "lovely Dorcas Meadowes will take photos of you and your creepy ass art." Sirius glanced back at them but didn't say anything else. 

"Hello James", Remus stood next to him. He was leaning on a cane, just like the last time James saw him. Today he was wearing another brown jumper, this one looked more formal, less worn out than the other one. 

"Hi, how are you?" James asked, he felt awkward. Comunication seemed way easier when he had Remus' dick in his mouth. 

"I'm good. How are you?" Remus, the man he was, decided to go at James' pace. 

"Good, busy" he answered and moved back to stacking and moving the brochures around the little table. 

Remus was looking at Sirius, his husband loved being the center of attention. James found himself captivated as well, "You were missed on Friday", Remus said, turning back to face James, catching his attention. "Can I help you with something?"

James felt a butterfly in his stomach, just one shy butterfly. They missed him, they wanted to see him, "I was so busy, a lot goes into ... you know, putting on this ... " James attempted to lie, he moved his arms around the room, as if he was the person who hanged those paintings. Remus stayed silent, just looking at him, both of them knew that this was an excuse. "Help right, no ...  you don't have to do anything" he said, answering the question. His eyes moved down to Remus' cane, "Would you like ... I mean if you want ... a chair to sit on, ... there's a little bench on the other side of that wall ... If that's what you prefer" James was stumbling over his words.

"It's okay, thank you for the offer", Remus decided to take pity on him. "I use it sometimes when my knee hurts too much or when I know there will be a lot of walking or standing involved", he lifted the little thing off the ground showing it. James nodded, he didn't have anything to add. The two of them just stood there watching, Marlene, Dorcas and Sirius run around (Marlene was doing most of the running). 

Time passed and the silence between them grew. 

"Listen ..."

"I should ..."

They said at the same time. Remus gestured his hand for James to go first. "I should go upstairs to my office", he said, "I think I left my phone there, and you know what, if someone calls me." James felt the phone in his pocket, it was almost burning a hole through the fabric.

Remus looked into his eyes, there was a moment when James thought that he would call him out, shout that James is a filthy liar. But he didn't "Okay James." Those green eyes moved away from him. James felt awful but he turned around and ran out of the main area, into the office space.  

He sat down at his desk and put his head into his hands, this is a fucking disaster. 

---

James was going to join the exhibit, that was the plan, to take a few deep breaths and go back down. 

But minutes turned into hours. 

And suddenly his office was dark. 

The sun has gone down, and he was still there, sitting on his office chair, frozen. James had no idea how many hours had passed, all he could feel was this paralysing feeling. Suddenly, his office door opened. The person on the other side pushed it so forcefully that it hit the wall. James felt his heart race.

"Stop hiding" Sirius Orion Black was standing at his door, and he looked pissed. "Stop fucking hiding" he shouted again moving closer to where James was siting "If you don't want to see me or my husband say it like a fucking adult." James saw the way in with Sirius' chest was moving, up and down. His breathing was fast. 

"I'm sorry", James said, his voice small "I didn't mean ..."  

"Spere me James" Sirius moved away, he now stood in front of the large window, he never stopped looking at James tho "Do you want me to terminate the contract? Because I can, and I will" his voice was filled with ice, it seemed cold. "That way you will not have to see me or Remus ever again." His words were sharp like knives. 

"Please don't", James said, feeling a little helpless. This was his fault. The last thing he wanted was for Sirius and Remus to walk away because of his stupid inability to communicate.  

"Then what do you want me to do James?" Sirius turned around and started walking back and forth. "I can't just ignore you. If you don't want to acknowledge that I had your dick in my mouth that's fine, we can pretend that never happened and it will never happen again. But for the love of God be civil with me."

James finally stood up from his spot "What if I want it to happen again?" He walked up to where Sirius was standing, his hands were shaking. He was now face to face with him. Sirius was still angry, James saw it in his eyes, but he calmed down from his initial outburst. 

"Then why are you acting like this?" his grey eyes studied James' face. "Like you can't be in the same room with us."

James felt his confidence fade a little, but he decided to be honest, "Because I'm scared. You are married, this is never going to work out," he shared his deepest worries with Sirius. 

"We can figure this out," Sirius said, his voice filled with hope, he reached out to grab James' hands. James has known for some time now that Sirius had to be touching someone at all times. He intertwined their fingers, "It's okay, it will take a lot of talking and you seem to be bad at it, but there has to be a solution to this. Even if you only like one of us."

"I don't", James had to look away, but his hands were still holding onto Sirius. "Are you the only one who fancies me? I mean, if Remus doesn't want to", he felt his breath get faster, his eyes started to sting. "I don't want to be between the two of you." James was not going to fucking cry right now. 

"Where did you get that from?" Sirius said, squeezing their fingers together. 

James looked back at him "You're here and he is not." 

"Well ..." Sirius let out a little chuckle. "He is in the car, waiting for me" Sirius let go of James' hands but moved forward. He grabbed James' shoulders "I told him that I have to take a piss" Sirius moved his fingers into the back of James' head. "But my husband is a smart cookie, and he knows exactly where I went" those fingers started to play with the short hair on the back of his head, scratching that sensitive skin. James felt a shiver of pleasure run down his spine, "He will show up in about two, maybe five minutes. Then he can tell you what he thinks about you, darling" he was so close, James could smell sandwood and tobacco once again. "Everyone else is gone, Marlene got a little worried. After she finally stopped following the cute photographer around, she noticed that you were nowhere to be found." James felt Sirius' lips almost gloss over his, he was whispering. "I bumped into her, told her that I will take care of this, take care of you." James put his own hands on Sirius' waist, he was trying to find his brain. His knees were made out of jello, "So tell me, James, do you want me to stop?" Sirius pulled away slightly, to look into his eyes. 

"No please don't stop" James let out a loud whine. He was finally where he wanted to be "Please Sirius please." His hands tightened around Sirius as if he was about to disappear. James was unaware that another person was present in the room.

"You are such a good boy when you want to be," Remus said from the entrance.  

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 9: We Exist Together

Summary:

Office couches are great for casual meetings,

and not so casual meetings too.

"Let's sit down", Remus said and entered the room.

Sirius made a little noise of protest, Remus just looked at him. That was enough to make him silent. Sirius grabbed James' hand and led them both to the small couch. James for the first time in his life saw its purpose. His father was insisting on adding a couch to the office. It was supposed to be used for more casual meetings. James barely used it, it mostly collected dust. The coffee table was a little small and too close to the ground. Sirius took the opportunity and sat on it. James sat next to Remus. It was nice that Sirius never let go of James' hand. 

"We need to talk about this", Remus stated, "about us." He stretched his leg and James felt like and asshole once again. He was pushing through discomfort or maybe even pain. It was late, these two were already leaving, James was starting to worry. "James" Remus' voice sounded in his ears "I'm okay, I promise." He gave James a little smile "This is nothing."

"Moony gets worn out faster than others", Sirius supplied, he moved closer to stroke Remus' cheek. "But he knows his limits and doesn't like when people infantilise him." Sirius gave James a pointed look. "It's okay to be worried, trust me I know, but don't start treating him differently because of this." 

"I understand, I just don't want to cause any issues", James could feel his heart race, a few minutes ago he was ready to drop down onto his knees. Now he was back in the anxious state, his mind filled with doubt.  

Remus turned sideways to face him, "Who said you are causing an issue?" James just shrugged, Remus' stare was so intense James had to look down. But when he did, he saw long pale fingers covered in silver rings wrapped around his darker ones. "This may be easier if we ask you questions." 

"All you have to do is answer", Sirius said, and squeezed his hand. "And of course be honest." James nodded, he could do that.

"Please use your voice", James felt his cheeks heat up. He looked up and saw a very calm looking Remus.  

"Okay, I will" he answered barely above a whisper. 

Sirius shifted slightly, "Let's start with the biggest one, shall we?" James took a deep breath, "Do you want to pursue a romantic relationship with us?"

"Yes", James answered. He felt that Sirius squeezed his hand again. 

"Both of us are interested in dating you, I want to make that very clear," Remus said easing James' fears about him not wanting this to happen. "Have you ever done something like this before?"

"No, I only ever dated one person at a time", James wondered if this was a normal thing for this couple. 

Remus reached out to stroke James back, sensing the tension in his muscles. "That's fine, baby" he smiled softly "We can teach you. Are you still interested in being our lovely sub?" James felt better and better, with each passing minute. 

"Yes Sir" he said feeling a little more brave. Remus stopped his gentle movements and removed his hand from James' back. He placed his hand on James' jaw, sliding it down his neck.  Remembering that James placed a hard limit on choking, he just rested his hand there. 

"Tease" James wanted to move, to kiss Remus, or Sirius, or both. He sat glued to the couch. "Why did you run away? Did we make you uncomfortable?" 

James melted, these beautiful people "No, you did nothing wrong." James decided to share his point of view, "I thought that you guys only wanted the sex part." Remus encouraged him to continue, Sirius moved closer, "And I caught feelings." 

"Oh darling", Sirius cooed. "You're so sweet for us", he reached out to stroke James' cheek. "Don't you think Moons?"

"Yes, my star", Remus answered, and joined Sirius in those little gentle touches. "I fell for you so quickly, baby boy", James looked up at him, he was surprised. James was blushing "You're so good, so handsome too."

"I need" James mumbled, his mind getting blurry in the best way "I need you. Please."

Sirius made a happy sound, "Shhh darling" he moved off the small coffee table and started to settle on James' lap. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes please", James slid his eyes close. He felt that his glasses were gently removed from his face. Sirius stroked his cheeks, causing James to let out a frustrated moan. The other man took the opportunity and crushed into him. Those sinful lips were all over him, James placed his hands on Sirius' waist. They were fully making out, nothing slow or teasing about it. The kiss served a purpose: to remind him of his place. Sirius' kisses seemed so chaotic, full of passion, James missed them. He pulled away to catch a breath. 

He decided to look at Remus half expecting him to be jealous, but he saw nothing of that sort. Sirius was kissing his neck, leaving small bites all over his skin. Remus was calm, relaxed, leaning against the couch. James untangled one of his hands and reached out for him "Sir, please kiss me." Remus took the offered hand and wrapped his fingers around James' wrist. 

"So good for me, asking for what you want", he moved and covered James' lips with his. This kiss was different from Remus' usual ones, he was dominating. He pushed his tongue into James' waiting mouth, sucked on his tongue. James let out a whine, he was painfully hard. 

"Shhh darling" Sirius took off James' tie, he was now undoing his shirt. When the cool air of the office AC hit his burning chest, James bucked his hips into Sirius. "Be a good boy and let us have our fun." 

As Remus was claiming his mouth, Sirius was taking off his clothes. When he finished his task, he moved to his black button up, then his dress pants. James pulled away from Remus, he rested his head against that broad chest, "Sir", James whispered, "Can I please take off your clothes? I want to feel you."

He looked up, his brown eyes almost black. Remus hesitated for a second, he wasn't as eager to take off his clothes as Sirius (or even James). The other two would take any opportunity to get rid of the extra layer. Remus didn't like showing his scared skin to strangers, he was only comfortable with certain people. But as they established just a few minutes ago, James wasn't a stranger, plus he has already seen him naked. Remus also knew that if he said no to James' request it would be fully accepted. "Okay, sweet boy", he pulled away slightly so James could grab the hem of his jumper. 

James looked like a kid in a candy store. He happily helped Remus remove all of his clothes. 

"So easy" Sirius commented, knowing his husband. It was a big deal for him. Remus rolled his eyes and grabbed Sirius' arm and brought him close. They started kissing as James gently explored Remus' chest. He was tracing the scars, some of them longer, more visible, some short and barely noticeable. James kissed all of them, he created a pattern. He could feel Remus relax under him, he wanted to make him feel good. Suddenly there was a hand pulling his head back. "Good boy" Sirius smiled, "What do you want baby? Do you want to be fucked?" James whined and nodded. Sirius was holding his head back. Remus took the opportunity and attacked his neck. "Fuck baby you're so responsive I want to make you mine." James was a moaning mess. 

"Please, I want it", his voice broke, when Remus bit his earlobe. "And I want ..." James was trying to catch his breath. 

"What was that darling?" Sirius said pulling harder.

James' eyes rolled back into his head, he made the most pathetic sound "Suck Sir" he utterd. James' brain was melted, but he wanted to be filed, he wanted to be owned. And he wanted them both at the same time. 

Remus let out a deep sound, not only will he get to see Sirius fuck James, he will also get his dick sucked. "Baby boy", he went back to kissing all over his neck. "You need to be filled from both ends. Want something to suck on." He moved two fingers against James' lips, and pushed them forward. He moved his hand almost fucking into James' mouth "Such a good boy, I think you deserved it" Sirius moved to stand up behind James. He let go of his head, letting it fall back. "One more thing, actually two things", Remus said, pulling out his now wet fingers and wiping them onto James' chest, making sure to rub against his dark hard nipples "Tell me our safewords."

The usage of our made James' heart flutter, "Red, yellow and green", he answered. "I'm green, Sir" James made sure to add. Sirius stroked his back in circular movements. He was waiting for some instructions from Remus. 

"Such a good boy, thank you baby", Remus whispered, and gave him a little kiss. "Now if you want Sirius to fuck you like the good slut you are" Remus pulled away and stroked James' arms to ground him. "He's going to need a little help. Do you have any lube here?"

James nodded, trying to find his voice, after a few seconds of soft touches, he remembered "My desk, third drawer on the right." 

Sirius let out a chuckle "You're such a slut" he made his way to the large desk and started to dig through the drawer. After moving a few things out of the way, he finally pulled out the small bottle of lube, which was hiding in the back. "There we go", he walked back to the couch and took his place behind James. He was standing, his tights leaning against the side of the piece of furniture. 

James looked away from him, catching Remus' eyes. He needed instructions, Remus reached out to stroke his face, "You're doing so good", he was reassured. "Get on your knees and hands, like this", Remus said, moving his arms gently, James followed the instruction. "You can rest on my legs, yes good boy", James put his hands on Remus' muscular thighs. He was now face to face with his large and leaking cock. Remus stroked his hair and pushed him down. "Take your time baby" James opened his mouth and sucked gently. Remus put his head on the backrest and took deep shooting breaths. In the meantime, Sirius started to prep James. 

He was now two digits in. Using a generous amount of lube. He wanted to make sure that this experience was pleasurable for James. "Baby you're so tight" he mumbled and James let out a small moan. Remus looked at his husband, they shared a moment. It was a silent check in, important for both of them. Sirius nodded and Remus gave him a slow blink. A sign they came up with sometime ago. "Shh almost there, my darling." James started to move against Sirius' hand. His body relaxed enough for Sirius to add another finger. "James, should I wear a condom? Do we need it?" Sirius asked, safe sex is the best sex, but if James didn't need protection, Sirius preferred that option.

"I'm clean", James said, pulling off Remus, catching his breath. "I got tested before we started shagging, and there was no one else." James' voice was rough.

"That's good", Remus ran his fingers down James' back "We got tested after you, and both of us are clean; there was no one besides you either." James was so happy to hear that. They liked him enough for them to not replace James with someone else, when he didn't show up. 

Sirius was the happiest of the three, "So no condom?" he asked with a huge smile. 

"No condom," James answered, he was excited. Remus stroked the back of his neck as James lowered himself back onto him. Sirius positioned James' hips as he wanted them to be. Stroking his dick, he put more lube on it just for good measure. He had to lift one of his legs on the couch to make it work. The angle was not ideal, but all of them were so turned on that it didn't really matter. James was stuck between the other two, Remus was sitting down with his head thrown back. James felt Sirius' head at his entrance, he let out an exited little moan and sucked more of Remus into his mouth. 

"My darling", Sirius said, pushing forward, he was not small. It wasn't his fault that he happened to have a husband with a monster cock, so his average size one looked smaller. His usual chaotic movement was replaced with something more gentle, thoughtful. He gave James a chance to relax into it "Fuck baby, I will fuck you so hard."

James felt amazing, his mind completely wiped. Sirius started moving, inch by inch. James felt himself stretch around him. Remus seemed to get the massage or he simply couldn't handle the slow and gentle any more. He started to buck his hips up into James' mouth, pushing deeper and deeper into him. Over the few monthes that these three spend together James learned how to handle Remus' giant cock, in the oral department. He knew what to do, how to relax himself into it. Sirius gave him a few tips on how to do that, and Remus always listened to his safewords (or well safetaps). James also learned that taping out is better than passing out.

Teares were running down his face as both men settled on a rhythm. His own cock hanging heavy between his legs. "Baby boy" Remus rasped out. "I'm close", that was the warning James got before he felt Remus' cum in his throat. His head was spinning, Remus' hands were pushing him down. Sirius didn't stop his movements for even a second. 

"Such a good slut" Sirius was red, his usually pale skin was blooming with blush. And his carefully arranged hair was sticking to his sweat-covered forehead. His fingers were digging into James' skin. "Watching you suck Moony off is so fucking hot. You are such a good boy." Sirius was chasing his orgasm, hitting James' prostate with each snap of his slender hips. James' head was finally released from Remus' grip. He put his forehead down on Remus' thigh. He tried to take deep breaths but failed. 

"I got you baby" Remus whispered from above him. He reached his hand to wrap around James' length. James whimpered, he was reaching his breaking point. "You have my permission," Remus assured him as his hand was jerking him off. 

James made a sound, he remembered that he needed both of them to give him the green light. His back was arched, his ass high in the air, Sirius' pace was fast but pointed. He was close as well. "Sirius please" that was all James could master at that time. 

Sirius threw his head back "Wait for me, I want us to come together darling." He sped up the movements. James let out another loud moan when Remus' large hand tugged again. Sweat was dripping down his back "Baby I'm fuck ... I'm gonna come" Sirius was mumbling under his breath. "You're mine, my slut." James felt Remus' hand speed up as well. His head was fuzzy, and then he felt it. He felt when Sirius came, so he finally let go. 

"Good James" Remus' voice carried him back into consciousness. "My good boy" Sirius pulled out, James' body was shaking, buzzing with endorphins. The sweat was cooling off quickly. He felt his legs collapse onto he couch, his face was squished against Remus' legs. "Let's get you into a more comfortable position, we don't want you to break your neck." Remus chuckled, as he helped flip him around. 

Sirius settled on his hips, and when their soft dicks touched, James made an unhappy sound. He was overstimulated. Even those soft touches were too much "Shhh I know baby, I just want to give you a little kiss." Sirius shifted up so their bodies didn't touch and leaned down to capture James' lips in a chaste kiss.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 10: The Sun in His Smile

Summary:

The sun, the moon and the star go on a date.

Notes:

I got sick, my roommate was sick, so now it's my turn, I suppose :)
The good thing is that I got bored, which allowed me to finish writing this chapter much quicker than expected.
It's mainly fluff with a sprinkle of backstory.

 

Hope you enjoy it <3

"Are you free tomorrow night?" Sirius asked as he put his shirt back on. After they managed to somehow cuddle on the small office couch, and James drank half of Remus' water, they all decided it was time to go home. Right now they were looking for various articles of clothing that were scattered around the room.

James pulled one of his socks back on, "I think so, why?" he asked his brain still adjusting to the new situation.

"We should go on a date, a proper one" Sirius answered, "that doesn't involve a sex club and a tiny office couch we can barely fit on." He beamed as he put his long tangled hair up in a bun. James was a little surprised by the offer.

Remus, however, seemed amused by his husband's actions, "I agree, there are still some topics we should discuss." He patted his jeans and pulled out his phone, "Can you give me your number?" James smiled, he grabbed the device and quickly added it in. Remus sent him a text "So you have mine just in case."

"Believe it or not, I have Sirius' number" James chuckled. "I have to admit that I got it off his contract, so it was probably illegal."

Sirius suddenly stopped in his tracks, "Wait" he looked at James, and made a face. "Did I fuck my boss?" James and Remus burst out laughing, as Sirius tried to work this out in his brain.

---

James walked up to the restaurant that Sirius and Remus had chosen. He received a lovely text last night.

thinking of you, hope you sleep well S&R

It was an amazing thing to wake up to. James quickly shot back a good morning text and immediately decided to go on his daily run. Just in case all of this was a dream. When James returned home and took a quick shower, Sirius created a group chat and sent about ten messages. Some of them were just strings of random emojis, in some he was asking about James' dietary preferences. James texted him back, giggling at his phone like a schoolgirl. He answered that he tried to avoid beef, because of his culture. His family didn't follow the rules of Hinduism, but both his mother and father seemed to hold onto this one. He was even less strict with it, although he would never intentionally choose a beef-based dish.

This seemed to prompt Remus to send his first text in the group chat.

I'm vegetarian.

Sirius just sent another string of messages, basically stating that he can eat anything, except kiwi. He's extremely allergic to kiwi. James made a mental note about that. The restaurant that they ended up choosing served mostly vegan and vegetarian options. James didn't mind, he was simply excited to see the couple. The Forbidden Forest was a small, but cosy place. It was within walking distance from his house. James liked that he had a moment to calm down as he walked there. He was one of those annoying people who loved to be outside. When he arrived, he stopped and took a few deep breaths.

The inside of the restaurant was impressive. There were trees covered in yellow fairy lights that gave the room a soft glow. The colour palette consisted of greens, browns and yellows. He scanned the tables hoping that Sirius and Remus were already there. His eyes caught a cute scene between them, Sirius was leaning in to fix a strand of hair that had fallen out of place and was now directly in front of Remus' left eye.

James made his way to their table.

"James hi!" Sirius stood up from his seat and hugged James. He seemed so genuinely happy.

"Hello to you too" James hugged him back, he could feel himself relax already "Remus hi” James said, looking at Remus over Sirius’ shoulder.

“Hello James, it seems my husband decided to keep you hostage,” Remus said smiling.

Sirius let go of James and sat down in his spot again “I’m just happy to see him.” He had a fake pout decorating that handsome face.

“We saw each other yesterday” James chuckled and sat down in the empty chair. He saw the waiter approaching their table from the corner of his eye. Sirius just rolled his eyes at James and politely turned around to face the waiter. All of them got menus and quickly chose their dishes. The food was brought out, and James enjoyed it. Sirius ended up choosing the wine, that all of them drank. He said something about being an expert. The conversations were slow and consisted mostly of James being asked questions about the PAG. 

"I know what Sirius does for a living" James wanted to ask his burning questions "What about you Remus?" 

Remus took a little sip from his wine "I work in a book store, only a few days a week or as much as my health allows it" he answered, "It's a small family business called 'Forget-Me-Not'. It's nice, the owner, or should I say Mary is amazing and extremely understanding." 

"She's great" Sirius nodded, and stole one of Remus' abandoned baby carrots. He got an eye roll from Remus "The store itself is exquisite."

Remus nodded "We sell new and old books, it's a nice balance. There are a lot of options. Mary's grandmother opened the store intending to give books a second chance, she continues this tradition in her honour" his eyes sparkled when he talked. James smiled at that, Remus gave the vibe of someone who was into books. He was wearing another soft-looking jumper, and his blondish hair was a little messy, James just imagined him curled up on a couch under a blanket with a book. His fantasies were interrupted by Sirius who was now reaching for a mashroom on James' plate. He popped it into his mouth and gave James a cheeky little smile.

"Thief," James said and leaned forward to grab something from Sirius' plate. "Uh you finished everything, there's literary nothing on your plate." 

"Padfoot is a dog" Remus commented as his plate was currently being moved. "He will eat everything, that's good tho" Remus reached out to stroke Sirius' hand "Nothing goes to waste, I tend to be a bit more picky, so if I don't like something he can just finish it for me."

"Also not to tut my own horn" Sirius smiled and puffed out his chest "I'm an excellent cook; maybe you can come over and I'll prepare something nice for you." 

James blushed "I would like that very much," The idea that there could be a second date made him all warm on the inside. "So that's where your nickname came from? Padfoot?" James asked, the nicknames always interested him. "Since you are a dog?" 

Sirius laughed "Yes. Remus just started calling me Padfoot as a joke, he liked to annoy me with it" James smiled back at him. 

"You always got annoyed so easily, posh boy" Remus said poking Sirius' side a little bit "He was such an asshole in school. Also, he runs after a frisbee like his life depends on it, especially at a beach." James wondered when these guys met, and how long they had been together. "Did you have a nickname, Jamie?" Remus guestioned. 

"Prongs" 

"What? Why?" Sirius chuckled "There has to be a story behind it, come on tell us." 

James sat back in his chair "Have you ever watched Bambi?" he bit his bottom lip. Both Sirius and Remus nodded "Okay, that movie destroyed me, I cried for days, and my ma had to sleep in my bed with me for like a week " he shook his head lightly, looking back it seemed a little ridiculous but James was a very emotional kid. "After that, my parents decided to watch all of my movies before giving them to me, to prevent that happening again."

"That's sweet" Sirius uttered, he had an unreadable expression on his face. James decided to not ask, and Remus just grabbed his husband's hand running his fingers over Sirius' knuckles. 

"We went on a school field trip with the theme of cleaning up the planet, so everyone received a trash bag." James found it amusing to think about a group of kids running around the woods with trash bags. "That day, the person who collected the most trash won a competition."

"What was the prize?" Remus asked, he was intrigued. 

"Honestly I can't remember" James answered "But I was determined to win, I went to such lengths to collect garbage that I got pretty far from the rest of my group," that was probably not the best idea in high sight "And you know what I found?"

"What a dead deer?" Sirius asked, he was actively listening to James' story. It was nice to learn something new about him. 

"No, I found antlers" James was now moving his hands around, this always happened when he was excited to tell a story. "I panicked that Bambi was somewhere in the woods without his antlers and that he would need them. I ran back to find my teacher and told everyone that we had to find him and give them back." 

Both Remus and Sirius were laughing now, the image of young James running back through the woods, seemed amusing. Maybe even a little impressive.  

"When I came back, I got reprimanded for being so far from the group" James was impressed with his younger self. "After that, my mates started to call me Prongs."

"Did you win?" Remus asked finishing his wine. 

James reached out to pour more into his now empty glass "No I lost the trash when I was running back."

"All of that for nothing," Sirius commented. 

"I got to keep the antlers" James was proud of that "Used to keep them in my room, now they are above my fireplace."

Remus reached out his hand to hold James' wrist "Good to know If I walked into your house and saw that, it would turn me off so much. I hate hunting, it's so unnecessary in today's day and age."

James blushed again "I hope nothing I do turns you off." He wondered where this evening was going. Would it be appropriate to invite them back to his place? It's not that they haven't seen each other naked. They had sex yesterday, but maybe this time things should move slowly. James felt Remus' fingers stroke the inside of his hand. The atmosphere has shifted. He decided to take a chance, Lily was right if these two didn't want something they could speak out about it "My house is about five minutes away from here, we can take a quick walk there. If you want I can show you my prize." James bit his lip and waited. This was a very clear invitation. 

Remus looked away from his eyes to have a short telepathic conversation with Sirius. The two of them seemed to get to a consensus "I would love to see it Prongs" Sirius said smiling from ear to ear. He moved in his chair so now, one of his legs wrapped around James'. He started to move his foot up and down. James smiled showing his teeth. He was excited for the date to continue at his. 

"You know what you remind me of," Remus remarked, he was relaxed, resting on his elbows. James looked up and met Remus' gaze. He tilted his head to the side "The sun."

James felt warmth spread through his body, there were worse things to be compared to. "I agree" Sirius nodded "When you smile like that, the whole room just lights up."

That was it, James was officially falling head-first into whatever the three of them had going on, and he was not mad about it. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 11: After Midnight

Summary:

What happens after midnight?

Notes:

It took some time but it's here, some spicy after date activities <3

James sat down on his couch, he put three glasses of water in front of everyone. At first, he offered more wine, but Remus said that if he drank more, nothing sexual would happen, so James opted for water. That was a good idea, James was very loud and embarrassing while shitfaced. He also wanted something sexual to happen later. 

"I have to say I expected something bigger when you talked about it" Sirius walked back to the couch and sat beside Remus. His eyes lingered above James' fireplace. 

"I would say that it looks pretty average", Remus added and let out a little laugh "Maybe the antlers just seem small in comparison to this giant house."

James was blushing, he didn't like to show off his money. He chose to buy nice quality things, and he was comfortable in life, but bragging wasn't his style. "Yeah, Prongs, our flat is the size of a shoe box," Sirius said and lay back against the throw pillows. 

"I'm sure it's nice and cosy." James couldn't stop himself. He reached out to touch Remus' jumper. He ran his fingers up and down, touching the soft fabric. It was a little worn down, but well-loved. "I see you like my nickname."

Sirius smirked "It's cute", he started to touch Remus' other arm. It was rare for him to be in the middle and centre of attention, usually, James and Sirius started by touching each other. "Do you like it when I call you by sweet names, my darling?" he rose to his knees. Remus just enjoyed whatever these two had in mind. Sirius bent down and started to leave kisses along Remus' jaw, nibbling the skin gently with his teeth.  

"Yes, it makes me feel so good" James reached out to pull Remus' hair, pulling his head back to give Sirius better access to his now exposed neck. James moved closer, he was hovering over Remus' face, his lips inches apart "Can I?" he asked quietly. If he were further away, neither of them would catch that. 

"Kiss me, baby," was all James needed to connect his lips with Remus' ones. Sirius didn't stop his teasing, moving against Remus' side. The kiss was nice, and James melted when Remus' tongue slipped into his mouth. The temperature in the room changed; it was hot. Too hot for clothes. Blindly, James reached out to tug Remus' clothes off. 

"My darling, we should move into your bed, don't you think?" Sirius whispered as his hand covered James'. 

"Yes, that will be much better" Remus kissed him for the last time and pulled away "We already covered couches," he winked and sent James a little smirk. 

James had to make his brain work again, "Let's go then", he said, and stood up. That seemed to be a bad idea. James' legs moved too slowly, and he almost fell face-first into his coffee table. Sirius grabbed his arm, pulling him back. 

"Easy Prongs," Sirius laughed as James turned into an even darker shade of red. "Lead the way, darling, just make sure not to fall for me too fast." He let go of James and patted his backside. James made his way to the staircase, leaving the other two behind. Sirius bent down to leave a little kiss on Remus' lips "Everything alright?" 

"I'm okay, my star" Remus looked up and squeezed Sirius' offered hand. "Don't worry about me." They started to move towards James' bedroom. The house was huge, and James didn't lie about having money. Although it seemed a little lonely to live in this huge space alone. 

"I'm your husband, it's my job to worry about you, Moony." 

---

All of them removed their clothes, hands sliding along their bodies. Mouths leaving sweet little kisses and teeth gently nibbling. James felt himself slip into that wonderful place in his mind. He loved that Remus and Sirius allowed him to do it so easily. 

"And what do we have here?" Sirius tugged one of the handcuffs away from James' headboard. His smile grew wild "Come here, darling", he said, pointing at James "We need to take advantage of this." James felt his dick twitch, he honestly forgot about this. Or maybe he didn't, maybe he put those there on purpose. He settled with his back against the pillows, Sirius gently took his right hand and put on one of the handcuffs. He tugged to check "Colour?" The question caught him off guard. He knew that consent was important, but having it valued like this was a new thing for James. In the past, his consent seemed to be expected at all times. 

"Green Pads", he answered truthfully, he was enjoying himself. James got a forehead kiss, and his left hand was secured to the headboard. He tried to move his arms, but the handcuffs made it impossible. "The key is in the first drawer" James commented. This was a very important detail, "and lube too." 

Remus chuckled, "Anything else?" he sat closer. One of his hands made its way to James' nipple, he was playing with it. James' body reacted almost immediately, his back lifted off the bed. He wanted to be touched, so a little whine came out of his mouth. "Shh, be my good boy and lie still." Remus didn't stop, he moved to James' other nipple. 

"Oh, we have some toys here as well, Moony", Sirius said as he opened another drawer in James' bedside table. Sirius took out one of James' dildos "Did you use it on yourself while thinking about us?" he asked, moving the toy in front of James' face. He seemed amused, and James felt embarrassed. Remus rolled his eyes again, not amused with his husband's actions. 

"Not today", Remus said and moved his fingers down James' abs. He stroked his curly black pubic hair, avoiding the one place James wanted to be touched the most. Remus was so slow with his movements, calculated. The strokes of his fingers light against James' overheated skin. "My good boy", he murmured, "So handsome for me" Remus bent down and kissed James' lower stomach. Suddenly, Remus took him into his mouth. No gagging, no choking, he just did it. His strong arms pinned James to the bed. 

James let out a moan, his muscles tensed, and he didn't want to move and be bad. His hips made small micro movements, he wanted to trust up, to fuck Remus' face. There was a drop of sweat running down his face. "My love," Sirius closed the drawers and made his way over to Remus. His slim body slid on the bed next to the other two "I see you decided to prep James for me" he ran his fingers down Remus' face. 

James was freed from the wonderful mouth, his hard cock bounced and was now resting against his stomach. His head fell back on the pillows "Do you want me to prep you now, my star?" Remus asked, his voice a little rough. He grabbed Sirius' ass and squizzed. "You want to ride our good boy?" he whispered against Sirius' lips. They shared a quick but passionate kiss. James was already excited about the idea of Sirius riding him. 

They pulled away from each other as Remus reached out to grab the lube. Sirius moved on top of James, he poisoned himself on his hands and knees. His long hair fell down around their faces like a curtain. "Hi darling", he said, smiling and bending down to kiss James. He let out a puff of air and kissed harder. James could only guess that Remus had started to prep him. James made an unhappy sound when Sirius pulled away, he tried to chase after him, but the position he was in prevented that. "Be patient, baby boy", Sirius said and pushed his hair back with one hand. "I think I'm ready, Moons."

"You should listen to your own advice, pup", Remus answered somewhere behind him. "You will be ready when I say you are ready" There was a sound of a little slap echoing through the room. "Understand?"

Sirius pushed back against those skilled fingers "Yes, my love." James felt his brain melt, he was trapped under Sirius' body, moving above him. He could feel his warm breath hit his face. Their hard cocks were almost touching, Sirius' one moving just inches above James'. "Fuck you look so hot like this" Sirius moaned "Under me, waiting to be used."

"Please, Sir" James uttered, he was so desperate for something, anything. "Please, I will be good, I promise. I will make pup feel so good." Sirius let out another loud moan, he was as turned on as James. 

"Okay, you ask so nicely for what you want, baby boy" Remus seemed satisfied with his begging. He eased his fingers out of Sirius and tapped his backside a few times. "Come on, pup, do it", he whispered. Sirius moved with the speed of light. He grabbed James' hard dick and lined himself. He was resting on his knees and just slid down. "That's it, my good boys" Sirius sat down fully, and James had to grip the headboard. "Move, pup, you were so eager. Fuck yourself on James' cock," Remus griped Sirius' hips. He leaned over his shoulder to watch, his eyes locked with James' "He feels so nice, hmm, so tight."

If Remus kept this up, James was about to spill in seconds "Sir, yes, he's so pretty", James breathed out. He was going to lose his mind with these two. Remus was exploring Sirius' body with his hands, he tugged on Sirius' nipple ring. Moving the small sliver bar from side to side. Sirius once said that the piercings made his nipples more sensitive, and that he liked it when Remus and James tugged on them. James bit his lip and tugged on the restraints. He was putting a lot of effort into staying still. 

"Such a good toy", Remus said as one of his hands gripped Sirius' hip. He was guiding him to go faster. The other hand made its way to Sirius' neck "Will you come for us, Jamie?" he asked with a grin. Sirius sped up his movements, he wanted James to come as well. 

"Fuck darling come in me. Come on, do it. Fuck" his head was resting in Remus' hold, his sharp eyes closed as he bounced on James. His hard dick moving between them. James nodded his head and pushed his hips up a few times, matching Sirius. He was so close, "My good boy", Sirius moaned when James hit a particularly good spot. That was it, James was coming, his hips stilled as Sirius milked him dry. A wave of pleasure ran through his body as he slumped against the pillows. He felt Sirius move away, there was a kiss left on his forehead "Beautiful." Sirius whispered against his skin. 

When James opened his eyes, he was met with Sirius' face hovering above his. Again. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room, Remus was fucking into Sirius from behind. "Such. Good. Boys." Remus' voice filled the room, each word was said after a hard and deep thrust. Sirius' face was covered in sweat, he seemed a little tired but satisfied nonetheless. "Fuck my star come for me" Remus sneeked one hand to touch Sirius' abandoned cock. He didn't need a lot more than that, James felt Sirius' cum on his chest. Remus must have followed close behind. He let out a puff of air and threw his head back. 

Sirius' body slammed into James'. He was pinned to the bed. As Sirius was catching his breath, his hair fell onto James' face. He moved his nose to push it away "You better get used to it", Remus said as he gently moved the annoying piece of hair out of James' nose. "His hair is everywhere." Remus undid James' handcuffs, he grabbed each of his wrists to give them a little massage. "How are you feeling, baby?" he asked. 

James smiled, "I feel good but ... ", he answered truthfully and wrapped one of his hands around Sirius "Kiss me, and I know I'll feel so much better."

"Such a tease", Sirius murmured against James' chest as Remus lay down beside them. James looked up into those green eyes, and Remus gently held his head, kissing him passionately.

---

James woke up the next morning wrapped up in a warm embrace. He gently turned and was met with Remus' soft sleeping face. Last night, the three of them fell asleep pretty fast; it was getting late, probably after midnight. James took a moment to fully wake up, he counted the freckles covering Remus' nose, and he watched his chest rise and fall. Remus looked so peaceful, but James' bladder demanded attention. 

He made a quick trip into the bathroom and decided to look for Sirius, who was missing from the warm bed. 

James found him in the kitchen, he was making breakfast and coffee. Waring only sweatpants (James' sweatpants) "Hi, Jamie", he said when James aproched him "Hope this is okay?" 

"Of course" James walked up to where he was standing, wrapped his arms around Sirius' middle "It's been a long time since someone I spent the night with stayed for breakfast. Let alone made it for me." He put his head on Sirius' shoulder and relaxed. His eyes slid shut for a second. 

While it might feel like things were moving too quickly, James chose to embrace the moment. He had spent far too long overanalysing every detail, often sabotaging his own chances of happiness. Deep down, a voice warned him that this could be a mistake and that he was rushing into uncertainty. Yet, he also recognised that to hesitate too long could lead to missed opportunities and regret. It was a risk, but he felt it was one worth taking.

He could smell his shampoo in Sirius' hair, he could feel Remus' strong arms wrap around him again.

He felt safe, or at least he wanted to feel safe.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 12: High School Sweethearts

Summary:

Remus and Sirius share their love story with James.

Notes:

This is mostly some backstory, Remus talks about his accident, and Sirius mentions his *lovely* family. They talk about their relationship.

Also, a mysterious past third is mentioned as well.

James smoothed his hands down his burgundy button-up. He was about to meet up with the lads for another date.

Fourth to be exact (but who's counting).

Their second date happened at the club, their usual Friday night activities. Their third date was a short yet charming brunch at James' favorite café. Remus enjoyed the matcha it offered, while Sirius was a fan of the croissants. He jokingly remarked that "the best croissants are sold in small, run-down cafés in France," but admitted that this place had the second-best croissants.

This next date was happening at their place. Sirius offered to cook, he asked a lot of questions to which James just answered, "I will be happy with whatever, babe." This statement was one hundred per cent true: he wanted to see them, and spent time with them, and what they were going to eat wasn't his concern.

He rang the doorbell and waited less than a minute. "Hi!" he was almost tackled to the ground by a very eager Sirius "Too long, we haven't seen each other in days, James", was mumbled into his neck. James' hands wrapped around Sirius' body. He nodded, if it was up to him, he would spend every day with the two. But that's not how adult life works. Not how adult healthy relationships work. Right? 

He was led into the flat, which was small. Sirius and Remus didn't lie about that. He walked up to the couch where Remus was sitting, "Hello Moony", he wrapped himself around Remus like a cat. James learned that Sirius was very free with his touch, but Remus was not. If James wanted Remus to touch him (in any way), he had to initiate that touch. Remus was always happy to give back, he was also happy to just lie down and watch. 

"Hi baby", he whispered, "Long day at work?" Remus also learned that James sought out reassuring touches when he felt sad or anxious. His fingers started to run through James' curls, he was trying to tame them just a little. It didn't work. 

"Yeah, some annoying people being ..." James huffed out a breath ", annoying." He relaxed in Remus' hold, "And I'm hungry." 

He heard Sirius move through the kitchen "Oh, you better be, I made enough food to feed an army." He appeared next to the couch wearing his 'kiss the cook' apron. James thought it was cute, a little silly, but cute. "Just a few more minutes until it's ready, darling. Would you like some wine? Are you saying the night?" Sirius asked, rocking on his feet. "Our bed is definitely smaller than yours, but we will make it work." He said with a wink, before disappearing into the kitchen again. 

"Yes and yes," James answered. "I'm drained, though, and unsure if I'm up for anything crazy today." James felt his mind slip. He wanted to spend time with them, but his day was long, and he was exhausted. 

Remus grabbed his face and moved it up "You never have to explain yourself, baby boy." He held eye contact with James "We will never make you do things you don't want to do. I expect the same from you." His tone left no space for arguing. 

"Of course, sorry", James said. He blushed under Remus' intense gaze; even in his exhausted and frustrated state, he wanted to be good. 

Remus made a tsks sound "You don't have to apologise, my main concern is you being comfortable with us." His hands wrapped around James' head, and he gently stroked his cheeks. James relaxed into his hold. Sirius called them both to sit down at their dining table. It was a tight squeeze since James wasn't a small guy, but Sirius didn't mind that their legs touched under the table. He also didn't lie about being an amazing cook. Everything he made was flavorful, and James was very satisfied. He got another glass of wine as Sirus stood up to prepare dessert, which was a chocolate soufflé. Remus' favorite. 

"I need to use the bathroom", James said as Sirius opened the oven and popped the little soufflés in. He stood up, and Remus instructed him where to go. He quickly did what he had to do and made his way back. James' hand found one of the framed photos that decorated the flat, "You look so young here," he commented as Remus leaned over to see. It was their wedding photo. Sirius wore a simple but elegant black tux, and Remus had a lovely brown one. 

"This is our first dance", Sirius said as he put one of the sweet treats in front of James. "We are nineteen, I wanted to get married as fast as possible."

"We met when we were only fourteen, started dating two years later, the beginning was a little rocky, mostly due to outside factors", Remus said, looking at the picture in James' hand, he was smiling softly. James felt a lot of emotions in that moment; on one hand, he was happy for them and excited to learn more about who they are as people. On the other hand, he was now confronted with the time these two had known each other, almost thirteen years. Married for eight. This was a big number, it scared him just a little. He shook his head. This is the beginning of their journey together, he had to stay open-minded. 

Sirius took a bite out of his dessert "My family, that was the outside factor" he let out a sigh "homophobic assholes, rich and traditional." He said, looking down at his plate, James didn't know what else to do, so he reached out for Sirius' hand. He squeezed his wrist and ran his fingers over Sirius' knuckles. "They, my family", he tried to take a breath it didn't go well. "It was not ideal, I don't", he started again, but James shushed him. 

"I was told earlier that I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do," he searched for those beautiful grey eyes "You don't have to either." When those eyes found him, James saw a lot of pain, pain that Sirius only depicted in his art. "But I'm sad that it even happened to you my ma and pa have always been supportive and loving, no child deserves to be treated like shit by their parents." 

Suddenly, Sirius leaned into him to give a hug "Thank you, darling." The angle was strange, and the table was digging into Sirius' side; he didn't care. Remus reached out and ran a hand down Sirius' back. His own expression was relaxed, but James could see that this was not an easy topic. 

"We were both hurting a lot back then" Remus took a sip of his wine as Sirius pulled away and sat down properly. Although his fingers stayed wrapped around James' ones. "I have something important to share with you, and I believe it’s essential for you to hear it," he said, and both Sirius and James were now looking at him.

James nodded, "I'm listening, you can stop at any point." James may have his himbo moments, but his not stupid. He suspected that the talk was going to involve Remus' scars. He never asked, even tho his curiosity begged for it. He decided to allow Remus to choose when to share that information with James.

Remus leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath "When I was ten years old, my father passed away. Though my memories of him are faint, I recall that he was, overall, a decent father." James felt Sirius get tense against his side. This must be a very difficult topic. "To say that we were not wealthy would be an understatement. My mam, she worked so much," he said, looking down at his hands."I know it was a lot for her, she tried her best to get me the best life I could get, but you can't feed your child with love." James wanted to reach out and bring Remus into his arms, to provide some comfort, but there was a table between them. "All of these terrible things led me down a bad path, I got involved with shady people." 

There was a small pause in his story. James spoke up, "You were so young, it's completely understandable." James found Remus' eyes, there was something hidden in them. Something James couldn't place. Maybe it was grief. 

"One of those people, or should I say their self-proclaimed leader, was Fenrir Greyback." Remus continued, "He was way older than me, yet I did everything to please him, I craved his approval" his eyes moved away once again "One time he commented on wearing a seatbelt, so I never wore a seatbelt when we drove around in his car." James took a big breath, his mind filled with dark outcomes. "He was a reckless driver. That night was no different. I was sitting in the passenger seat." Remus' shoulder shook slightly "I can't tell you what exactly happened, I was drunk"

"Remus, please", Sirius' voice cut through the thick atmosphere. He seemed to be pleading, like watching Remus share this story pained him. 

Remus shook his head "I want him to know, I need to say it" he focused on his fingers once again "I flew out of the car through the windshield, and maybe if I happened to be there with people who were not pieces of shit, they would have called someone or took me to the nearest hospital." James watched as Remus' fingers flexed, trying to ease the lingering tension. "But they didn't. Fenrir kicked me from the road to the nearest trench, he left me to die." James noticed that Sirius never let go of him. He moved closer, and James wrapped his arm around those skinny shoulders. "My body and my mind got destroyed that night, I had to change schools, my poor mam," his voice shook at the mention of his mother. James made a mental note to maybe ask about her more, in the future, of course.

"That's where we met, when he changed schools", Sirius said, desperate to change the subject "It was one of those private schools with fancy uniforms, I hated them." 

"I had an awful time, but studying came easy, and I ended up getting a scholarship. It was the only thing keeping me sane" Remus looked up at the other two again "Then, the most dramatic Sirius Black has taken an interest in me, I thought it was a joke." He finally reached out and offered Sirius one of his hands. Which was taken very eagerly. "And then he started to call me Moony and I was completely lost in those grey eyes."

 James peeped in "Why? Where did you get that from?" he asked, relieved that the conversation moved to a lighter topic. 

Sirius chuckled, "There was a rumor going around that Remus was attacked by a bunch of wolves, and that's how he got his scars." Sirius squeezed Remus' hand "Someone even started to mention a full moon. It seemed fitting" he ran a finger down one of the scars on Remus' hand. 

"Been called way worse", Remus whispered "As I said, it wasn't an easy beginning, but when we got through that, we can get through anything", he said. "We got married, as soon as it was possible, and moved, got jobs, became adults. My mam moved back closer to her family. We visit her sometimes, but other than that, we left everything behind."

James smiled, "And I'm extremely happy that you both made it here, I'm proud of the men you became." He was getting emotional, sure his time with them was short, but these two were already so important to him. 

"Thank you, James, we are happy to have you here as well" Sirius turned and left a kiss on his cheek "We know that this type of relationship can be difficult. I think we mentioned that this is not our first time. We had a thing, it didn't end well, but I'm not letting that taint our situation." James nodded; he didn't want to go down the 'let's talk about our past relationships' conversation. There was enough darkness for one evening. Sirius didn't continue the topic. 

Eventually, all of them got tired and moved towards the bedroom. As Sirius decided to clean the kitchen, James asked to use the shower. Remus gave him a clean towel and was about to leave when James grabbed his wrist "Stay, please" It was a simple request. Remus took a second to respond, but he nodded. They took off their clothes and crammed into the small shower stall. James ran his hands down Remus' body "Thank you for sharing your story with me, Moony." He didn't get an answer, but he felt Remus' lips crush into his. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 13: Stars Collide

Summary:

Sirius bumps into his brother in the most unexpected place

Notes:

The Black brothers finally get some airtime, and it's interesting.

Also, I will be posting a spicy one-shot about the lovely rosestarkiller.
If it interests you, watch out for that.

<3

James entered the club as he did most Fridays. Ever since they started seeing each other outside of the club, their time at the Shrienkieg Shack has shortened, but they still cherished those occasional nights. Typically, they'd meet there, and after an exhilarating evening, they'd return to James' place for much-needed aftercare. In fact, he often found that part even more fulfilling than the scenes themselves. Despite the intoxicating draw of the married couple, he held back, resisting the temptation to completely let go.

His mind was still fighting for control, and the fear of giving it up scared him. James understood that Remus and Sirius were not like him, yet the shadows of his past clung to his brain. 

"Jamie, when will you introduce me to your lovely lads?" Pandora asked, putting three drinks in front of him. Two sweet fruity cocktails and one water (Remus decided to drive that night). "You know it's been some time, and I know you have been talking to my wife about it." She grabbed the little towel from her shoulder and started to clean a glass. "But I want to meet them. Maybe we can have a dinner party? We have to do it at yours because there's not enough room at ours." 

James let out a sigh as he tried to pick up all of the drinks "Soon", he said and sent Pandora his best smile "I promise, I just have to figure this out first. Okay?" He wanted his friends to properly meet Remus and Sirius (Marlene technically already did), but he knew that 'meeting friends and family' was the next step in relationships. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this next step. 

"Okay, pretty boy", she answered, "I don't think there's much to figure out here, but whatever you say." James was already walking away from the bar. He knew that Pandora and Lily wanted to meet them; he knew that both of them had good intentions and also wanted to check on James. In the past, he made foolish decisions, blinded by his golden heart. Lily wouldn't let that happen again, and Pandora was amazing at reading people. She had a sixth sense for sniffing out bad individuals. 

He arrived at their chosen table and set the carefully balanced glasses on it "You shouldn't flirt with the bartender, Prongs," Sirius said, reaching for his drink "We don't want her to get her hopes up." He pushed his hair away from his face and happily sipped the sweet alcoholic concoction. 

"She's married", James answered and picked up his glass. 

"So are we, Jamie boy," Remus said, stretching out his arms to put behind James' chair "It didn't stop you once, so unless you're strictly into men ... ", he remarked with a smirk. Tonight, Remus was in a good mood, or maybe a teasing one. James liked that, even tho it could mean bad (amazing) things for him. 

"I'm not", James uttered, he wanted them to know. "I'm bisexual, I hope that's not a problem for you." James had spent some time figuring this one out; on a subconscious level, he always knew. He had a crush on both boy and girl characters in cartoons and became particularly attached to a boy in his playschool. As he got older, James became popular and had many girlfriends (some less serious, some more serious). Ultimately, it was Lily who put an end to his Casanova days. As an adult, he started to explore this new side of himself, both in and out of bed, finding the label he liked the most to be bisexual. 

Remus chuckled, "I would be a hypocrite, since I identify as bi." His hand found its way to James' back, stroking it gently. "Did people gave you shit for it in the past?" he asked, and James nodded. He had people question him all the time, mostly due to his masculine looks. 

"People are stupid", Sirius contributed. "It's a bit more complicated for me. If I had to choose a label I would pick queer, I can't picture myself ever being with a very feminine woman" he twirled his pink straw in his pink drink "as an artist, I can admire their beauty, I just can't be with them." He pushed a hand through his hair once again "But there are women that I can see myself with", a little smirk played on his lips, "and we picked up women in the past." His eyes had a little fire in them " I like more masculine women, or women who can dominate me and take charge, like Marlene, for example."

James snorted, "Marlene is as lesbian as they come, and also my employee" he shook his head. 

"Oh look now you care about fucking your employees" Sirius pushed himself on the table, his face inches away form James "What about now Jamie? Will you kiss your employee?"

James rolled his eyes slightly, "The drama", he whispered and kissed Sirius' plump lips. 

"I am captivated by attractive individuals, no matter their gender. It's the appeal of good looks that draws me in.", Remus commented as James and Sirius pulled away. His hand moved from James back to his neck, resting there possessively. There were a lot of people at the club tonight. Some of which had checked out James. Although the man himself seemed oblivious to that. Remus noticed, and he had to make it clear that James was with him. 

There was a man on the other side of the club, glancing in the direction of their table from time to time. Remus decided to ignore his burning gaze. He could feel it, James' body was turned back to those eyes, and Sirius seemed to be too preoccupied with James to notice anyone watching. To Sirius' credit, he would not care either way; he had a strong need for attention and sometimes requested an audience for the scenes. 

But that man didn't stop. Remus' hand tightened around the back of James' neck slightly "Moony, please don't," James reminded him gently. He wasn't choking, he remembered James' boundary. But he crossed the line. His grip relaxed, but he didn't remove his hand; his fingers reached out to stroke the short hair on the back of James' head, for comfort. 

"I'm sorry, baby boy", he leaned over the table to kiss James' forehead. "Just want everyone to know you belong to me, and there's someone who can't get the memo." He whispered as his eyes searched the crowd. Remus found the offending man, but what he saw surprised him. He saw a pair of piercing grey eyes looking back at him. And his heart stopped. Because that was simply impossible, there were exactly two people who had those eyes, and one of them was his husband, currently sitting next to him. 

The other person was not mentioned a lot in the Black-Lupin household, casting a shadow over their conversations. The other person was a sore topic for Sirius, as they were a painful reminder of what he left behind. The other person was currently pushing their way through the packed crowd at a sex club. 

"Sirius", came a small voice. "Sirius Orion Black", the man standing in front of their table was short. Shorter than Sirius, and even smaller. His hair was black and curly, stopping just above his ears. He was wearing a simple black button-up and dress pants. There was a red band wrapped around his wrist. 

As all three heads turned, two other people reached the small table, finally catching up. 

They were both tall, one had long white dreadlocks and a bunch of facial piercings, the other had crazy green streaks in his hair and was so heavily covered in tattoos it was hard to find a naked piece of skin. They both put a protective hand on the smaller one's shoulder (although only one of them had a green wristband, the other had a red one). 

"Remus" the same voice now sounding more frantic, sounded in his ears. "Unbelievable" Remus watched as Sirius stood up from his chair. He seemed confused, a little lost "I should treat it as a compliment that you can't recognise me, brother dearest."

Sirius' usually pale skin turned ghostly white "How is this even possible?" he was trapped in a weird state in between; he didn't know if this was real or maybe he had finally gone mad. This interaction seemed to catch the attention of one of the club's bodyguards. James quickly stood up and explained that everything was fine, and since he was well known by the staff, they decided to let this one slide. 

"Oh brother dearest, do you need me to explain the concept of trans people to you?" he said mockingly. "I can, you know, you were never the brightest." Remus wanted to get involved, he really did, but he knew that this was something that Sirius had to face alone. There was a level of protectiveness that Sirius carried in his heart over his sister, brother. Even Remus didn't have the right to get himself between them. James, sensing that the situation was tense, sat back down and grabbed Remus' hand under the table. 

Sirius huffed in annoyance "That's not what I meant, and you know it" his short temper started to show. His head was spinning; first of all, he had a brother. Second of all, his brother was standing in front of him. Thirdly, they were currently in a sex club. Sirius took a deep breath and flexed his fingers. "What's ... What's your name?" he asked, looking at his brother's face. It was the same, yet so different. The Black family genetics were strong; Sirius would recognise them everywhere, after all, he saw them every day in the mirror. 

"Regulus", he answered, "Regulus Arcturus Black" his back was straight, his head held high, and his chest puffed out. He seemed proud, Regulus seemed proud. "And I see that you and Lupin are still doing your little fling" he teased, that little shit. 

"Yes, brother dearest", Sirius answered, trying to get a reaction out of his little brother "We are married, have been since I turned ..." 

"Nineteen", Regulus interrupted him "I know, I still kept up with you at that time, then you two moved, and I couldn't find you any more." He was breathing heavily, and his seemingly composed mask started to crack. "Sad I didn't get an invitation," he looked up, eyes filled with anger. Where Sirius was quick to throw hands, Reg was more likely to find a sore spot and push until his poor victim bled out. "Or a phone number or a postcard. Nothing," he was doing it now, digging into Sirius' open wound. 

"How was I supposed to know that you were not Mother Dearest's favourite puppet?" he got closer, his face changed from ghostly white to angry red. 

One of the two men holding onto Regulus' shoulders pulled him back slightly, "Cerfull Black", he looked as mad as Sirius did. "Lay one finger on him. I dare you." His grip tightened as Sirius didn't back down. 

"Barty, stop", the other one chimed in. "Not the time." His tone was stricken as if he were talking to a misbehaving dog. Remus could see why he was the dom, and Barty was the sub. 

"He started it", Barty said, pulling Regulus' body against himself. He went willingly, resting his head on Barty's slender chest. 

Sirius looked at him for a second, "Barty, as in Bartemius Crouch Junior", he was now laughing. "I knew it, you little shit's fancied each other." All he got in return was a quick "shut up" and "don't ever call me that" Sirius found that information hilarious, or maybe he had lost his mind. "Now you, hmm, who are you?" he turned, and tilted his head to the side. 

The guy gave him his hand, "Evan Rosier, your brother's boyfriend." He shook Sirius' hand as if they had casually met, and this was a very normal conversation to have. Sirius took the offered hand and looked at his brother once again. 

"And you made fun of my Remus, when you yourself have a boyfriend?" he asked, and Regulus smiled. For the first time since he approached the table, he smiled. 

"Correction", Reg said, the smile never leaving his face, "I have two boyfriends." Sirius matched his smile. Maybe there was a way for them to have a relationship again. 

Remus shook his head and chuckled. These two had always been similar, now it seemed almost comical "Excellent, this is just pure comedy", he couldn't help himself. James, on the other hand, was the most confused of all people present at that table (so very confused). He didn't know what Remus found so amusing; he also didn't know, prior to this night, that Sirius had any siblings. 

"I think so too, my love", Sirius said and moved his hand to point at James "You see, dear Regulus, I have a boyfriend of my own," he casually said and flipped his long hair. As if he were showing off a new shiny toy. "Met my darling boyfriend James Potter."

James felt himself blush. In the middle of this crazy night, Sirius just called him the b-word. James was going to explode with excitement; if it wasn't for the whole 'we met your estranged brother in a sex club' thing, he would be jumping on Sirius right then and there. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 14: Blackhole

Summary:

In the aftermath of Sirius's reunion with Regulus, secrets of the Black family come to light. During this difficult time, James steps in to provide comfort and support for his new boyfriend.

Notes:

TW in this chapter, Sirius talks about his past self-harm. Nothing graphic, but it's there.
I added it to the tags as well.

This is Sirius and James having a moment.
As much as I love the three of them together, I want to explore their relationships with each other (Sirius-James, Remus-James).

James woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that Remus was still fast asleep, one of his hands wrapped around a pillow. His nose squished against it. He looked so sweet like this. 

Sirius, however, was nowhere to be found. James glanced at the bathroom door, but the light was off. Deciding to investigate, he stood up and made his way downstairs. After the unexpected club meeting, the three had returned to James' house and quickly curled up in bed, agreeing that tonight's cuddles were more important than anything else. 

It seemed that Sirius wasn't in the mood for more sleep. James noticed that the glass door leading to the terrace was slightly ajar. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and walked outside. There, he found Sirius curled up on the little bench. "Hi, Pads," he said softly. "Why don't you come back to bed? It's late."

Sirius turned to him with a sad expression. "Hi", he answered and turned back to face the garden. "You should, I want to stay out here, can't sleep anyway", he said as James approached him. There was a pack of cigarettes lying next to him. Sirius wasn't a big smoker. Remus mentioned something, in passing, about both of them smoking in the past. James never smelled any smoke on either of them, but knew about the emergency pack that lived in the car glove compartment. It seemed that today it was needed. 

James wrapped the huge blanket around them both "Or I can stay, you don't have to talk to me, but I want to be here with you." James learned that (from his own experience with difficult topics) it was best to just let the person come to you, rather than forcing them to talk their heart out. They sat there, the night wind blowing slightly in their faces. 

There was smoke coming from Sirius' side of the bench, but James didn't comment. Sounds of the city nightlife filled James' ears, he focused on breathing. "They were so cruel", Sirius said, his eyes focused somewhere in James' garden. He suspected that this conversation was not easy for Sirius. James turned to face him "I think that's the best way to describe them." James' hand reached out, knowing how Sirius liked to ground himself with touch. Sirius didn't look down, but intertwined their fingers. "My family, especially my mother," he took another drag of his cigarette, "took some deep pleasure out of making my life a living hell." 

James squeezed his hand; he didn't want to talk and break Sirius' train of thought, but wanted to show that he was there and he was listening. James, a few years ago, met a person who got legitimate pleasure from hurting him; he could understand even if his understanding didn't come from the same place. 

"The most painful part is that she always insisted it was done out of love", his voice trembled as he said. "Her so-called love hollowed me out, left me so empty." The wind blew again, and if James didn't know better, he would assume that Sirius was trembling because of it. "My father was a distant man; he was always at work, and when he was home, he didn't engage much outside of punishments. Mother would tell him what we did, and he would just deal with us as she liked to put it." Sirius' hand tightened in his grip. "Mother Dearest, however, used her words instead of fists." James watched as Sirius picked up another cigarette and put it in his mouth. There was a long pause. James moved closer, his leg now resting against Sirius' thigh. 

James traced the delicate lines of Sirius' body. He had a little bit of stubble, and James liked it. Sirius sometimes would let it grow for a few weeks and then shave it off, announcing that he needed a change. James categorised his tattoos, always finding something new to admire about Sirius. His body seemed fragile, but his lean muscles surprised James. His lovely long black hair was now put in a tight messy bun at the nape of his neck. James missed his eyes, even tho he saw them just minutes ago, he wanted Sirius to look at him again. 

His silent request was reciprocated. Sirius turned to him, his grey eyes shining in the moonlight "She disliked everything about me, form the way that I talked, walked" he shook his head, "even my fucking breathing was wrong according to her impossible standards. She pitted me and Regulus against each other, she used my love for him against me. She would criticize my appearance, insisting I would never measure up to the standards she set for men, leaving me to doubt my worth." James searched Sirius' face, he didn't see much, just a blank expression, no emotions "And when her words and father's punishments were not good enough, I started to punish myself." A single tear ran down his face "I used to", his voice broke down. James reached out to hold him closer "I used to hurt myself, I have these scars" Sirius was full on crying now, his face hidden in James' shoulder ", on my thighs. I know you've seen them, I know. You are just too nice to comment, but even my tattoos don't fully cover them." 

"Shh", James ran his hand through Sirius' hair to calm him down. He was biting back his own tears, "It's okay, sweetheart", he whispered softly, rocking them gently. "Do you see Remus differently because of his scars? Would you ever doubt your attraction to him? Your love?" James asked, he grabbed the hair tie that held Sirius' hair and pulled, letting them fall. 

"Of course not", Sirius immediately protested, making an almost offended face. His now messy hair surrounded his head like a halo. Even in this distressed state, he looked absolutely breathtaking. 

James smiled softly, "Then why would I see you any different after your confession?" he grabbed Sirius and pulled him close again "It doesn't change anything" he kissed Sirius' forehead. The three magic words seemed heavy on his tongue, but he decided not to say them right now. "My heart breaks for you and your brother. No child should go through that."

Sirius breathed out, trying to soothe himself; his body was tense against James. The silence surrounded them once again, and James didn't feel the need to add more. His fingers ran through Sirius' hair. When Sirius managed to calm down a little, he pushed back slightly. His body was still close, but now James could see his eyes. "I have a brother," he said, a shy smile playing on his lips. 

James smiled back, "You do. How does it feel?" he asked curiously. James was an only child, he didn't know what it was like to have siblings. Let alone estranged siblings, whom you haven't seen in years and then met them again in a sex club. 

"I think there had always been signs of Regulus being a boy, now that I truly think about it", Sirius answered. "When I was little, I wanted a brother so much, I don't know why." He smiled at the fond memory, "I used to refer to him as my baby brother right after he was born, since you know all babies look the same. I was three and didn't care much." James could see the love that Sirius carried for his brother, it was clear that Regulus meant a lot to him "Obviously, mother hated that." Sirus snorted as if his mother's hateret was simply an unfunny joke at this point. He let out a sigh "Regulus and I were so different, I envied his ability to blend in with them; he was so good at the proper society shit."

James leaned in, a warm smile playing on his lips. "You know," he whispered, "if it helps at all, I was never good at being the perfect rich son, either." With that, he gently kissed Sirius. They stayed in that warm little bubble for a second. James wanted to take away all of Sirius' pain, even if it was impossible. 

Sirius chucked against his lips, but eventually kissed back "That doesn't surprise me at all," he whispered after they separated. "I feel guilty sometimes, for leaving him behind," Sirius said, suddenly changing the topic of the conversation. "It must have been so hard. He was there all alone in that cold house. I just assumed that he didn't mind them as much as I did." 

"You were just a kid, trying to live, to survive. So was he", James said, holding him close. "This is not your fault, or your responsibility."

Sirius looked away, his eyes shining again; he wasn't crying but was close to it. "I was thinking about waiting for him, maybe if I were eighteen, I could legally adopt him", he said, "but mother found out about me and Remus" his voice was small. "Everything went wrong that night; their punishment was severe. I have never been harder on myself. If that situation occurred again, I don't think I would survive it, if you understand what I mean." 

James nodded; he truly didn't need Sirius to say it, he saw it in his eyes. He did pull him closer, and Sirius was almost sitting in James' lap. Neither of them minded. 

"He is the reason why I never changed my name," Sirius admitted, gently intertwining his fingers with James'. "I held onto the hope that one day he would escape too," he said, a smile crossing his face as he glanced down. "And if he chose to search for me, he could always ask about Mr. Black." Sirius looked up and James wiped the tear that slid down his cheek "Remus asked to take my last name, as a fuck you to my family, you know a commoner with our name, scandal" he said imitating a weird accent at the end. "I didn't let him, I would hate for my husband to carry that tainted name."

"If you want, you can always change it, since you and Regulus are aware of each other's whereabouts," James said. He knew there was a reason why Remus and Sirius didn't carry the same name. 

Sirius shook his head "It doesn't bother me any more. I have been Sirius Orion Black my whole life, I will stick to it." His smile grew, and James had to agree, his name suited him. "It feels so weird to know that he's just a phone call away, and we will see each other again in less than a week." It was Remus' idea to invite Regulus and his two boyfriends for dinner, everyone decided that Wednesday would be the best for everyone's schedules. "Him and that Barty kid", he shook his head again. "They had always been close, since I can remember. Evan seemed nice enough." 

"You called me your boyfriend in front of them," James stated, fixing his gaze on Sirius. He couldn't keep it in anymore. 

"And what's your point?" Sirius responded, smirking slightly.

"I liked it—a lot," James declared, wrapping his arms around Sirius and drawing their faces closer together. They shared another set of hot kisses under the stars. James pulled away, resting his forehead against Sirius’ “We should go back to bed, pup,” he whispered, “To Moony.” And this time Sirius didn't argue. They made their way back inside. James checked to make sure the door was closed before following Sirius upstairs.

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” he whispered as they entered James' bedroom. “I don’t want your bed smelling like an ashtray.”

James smiled and asked, “Do you want me to join you?”

“Not tonight, darling.” Sirius leaned in and kissed him softly before heading to the bathroom. The sound of the shower turning on filled the air, and soon after, sleep wrapped around James like a warm blanket once more.

Notes:

Tittle explained (?)
I liked the idea of each character having different types of scars. Remus’ scars were caused by the accident he suffered, while Sirius’ scars resulted from his self-punishment. James, on the other hand, bears invisible mental scars. Each of them has suffered in unique ways, yet they constantly strive to support one another.
If you have any predictions or want to chat, the comments are open as always (or you can find me on Tumblr
@littlemeangirl-wlw)

 

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 15: I have a Confession to Make

Summary:

The three get to spend time together and enjoy one another.

Thoughts and feelings, secrets and confessions that change relationships.

The tension was palpable. James noticed Sirius consistently brushing past him throughout the day. Since it was Sunday, James decided to step out for an hour to visit his parents, but clearly indicated that Remus and Sirius were welcome to stay at his place.

He found it somewhat challenging to remain silent around his family. James was never able to keep a single secret from his parents. 

So when his ma asked if he’s seeing someone, he answered truthfully, but didn't give her any details. His pa said something about an upcoming charity art exhibit. Aka the rich people get together and pretend to care about charity for tax purposes event. It was a short drive, and would be held in a lovely hotel. He proposed that James should bring his new partner, spend a nice weekend and meet the parents all in one. James answered, "I will think about it." His pa nodded and told his ma to text James the invitations later.

They ended their brunch, and his ma gave him a big hug "Please consider the invitation, dear." She pulled away and looked up at him. She was a small woman, but her character made up for those lost inches. He understood that both his parents wanted to be involved in his new relationship. They sought to ensure that whoever was dating their son was a good match, but not in a stuck-up, posh manner- more in a concerned parents' way. 

James also knew that the topic was not going to be dropped, so he decided to be honest and confessed his secret, "I have two boyfriends", he blurted out. "I'm going to need three invitations total."

His ma started to say something, her face a little confused, but his pa was faster "You have two", he looked at his wife, and then back at James. "Okay, that's new. We will get three invitations then." Fleamont Potter was an incredible man "I'm surprised, but I guess your heart is big enough to carry both, right?"

"Yes, it is", James knew that this was not the end of the conversation. He knew that Euphemia would be calling him later, asking questions, but he had the incredible safety net of loving parents still on his side even after dropping a bombshell on them.

---

"I told my parents", he announced, walking back to his house "It just came out, and now they know, and I'm sorry I didn't ask you for permission ..."

James was cut off by Sirius running up to him "Are you okay?" he asked, holding out his arms. 

"Yes, they took it surprisingly well, I think my ma was still in shock and will talk my ear off later, but" he took a big breath "it's fine, I'm fine." James smiled and hugged Sirius, who seemed a little bit shaken. Obviously, after learning about his past, James didn't blame him.

"That's amazing, Jamie", Remus said as he approached the other two. His arms wrapped around his boys, squishing James in the middle. "I have been talking to my mam about you." He confessed, and James turned his head to look at him. "I never specified our situation, but she might figure this out sooner than later; she's smart." James' heart grew; the image of Remus talking on the phone with his mam, telling her about their dates, made him fall even more. His body was buzzing with excitement.

Sirius snorted, "Are we calling Walburga next?" he had a cheeky smile. James just rolled his eyes and tried to pull away. He had been stopped "I'm happy for you, Prongs" Sirius' grip was strong, keeping him in place. Their faces got closer, and James received a kiss. He felt Remus' hands on his hips. 

"You want to play, Jamie boy?" he leaned down and whispered in his ear. James bit down on Sirius' bottom lip, enjoying the attention. "Remember what we talked about,"

James nodded, "Yes, Sir" he was getting hard in his jeans. They had been talking about James finally taking Remus' cock. It's not that James never bottomed, he and Sirius switched all the time depending on the mood. Remus' dick was just too much, and James was instructed to buy a new dissently sized toy. He wanted to be good, and he wanted to know what it would feel like if Remus gave him the pleasure. 

The topic of Remus bottoming was also brought up. He said he likes it on rare occasions, but it's unnecessary for him. Sirius gave James a few valuable tips, and overall, the conversation was productive.  

So now James was going to get his cute bottom stretched out, so maybe one day it's ready for Remus' cock. 

"James, go upstairs, get naked, kneel next to your bed," Remus ordered, stepping away from them. Sirius let go, and James almost sprinted to his bedroom. Sirius was held back for a second "Where's your head at, pup?" Remus asked, gently holding his husband against his chest. There was something under his skin, something that lingered. Remus didn't want to push his luck.

"Love me, Moony", he whispered, "Make love to me." Sirius wanted reassurance, after the weekend he just had, he didn't feel like submitting to Remus. 

He was pulled up and kissed, "My star, of course" he ran a hand down Sirius' arm. "Follow my lead, okay? I will torture James a little and then make you mine."

"That's all I'm asking for," Sirius leaned against his side as they walked up the long staircase.

James was ready, kneeling next to the bed. Sirius walked around him and sat down on the bed. James kept his head down, he felt tension under his skin. Something was holding him back, he wanted to confess his love. His heart begged for it, telling him to just be honest with his lovers. But his brain stopped him every time. 

He felt Remus' hand pull his hair back "My good boy," James looked up to see Remus gaze down at him "Get on the bed ass up, face down." James quickly followed the order and settled against the sheets. The sun was still out, doing this in the middle of the day seemed exciting, new. He let his eyes close for a second, and felt Sirius move close. He was running his fingers down James' back, gently scratching. "You bought some new things. Are you excited to use them?" Remus asked as he went through James' bedside table. 

"Yes, Sir", he answered truthfully. He felt Remus' body settle behind him. Cold, wet fingers entered him, making James moan. Sirius was still holding him gently, his fingers tangled in James' hair. He was praised, he was told to breathe and relax. The fingers were moving, pushing, stretching. And he was breathing. His dick was hard, painfully hard. No one seemed to give it any attention. His head felt heavy, fuzzy with delirious pleasure. He disassociated for a minute, forgetting where he was and what he was doing. He was brought up with Remus' soft check in "Green Sir. Feels good." James felt the fingers pull out, and there was something else being pressed into him. 

"Deep breath, baby boy", Remus announced as he pushed the lovely wide plug inside James. There was a little bit of struggle, he had to put more lube on and repeat the action. James whined, he seemed frustrated, "Shhh, my good boy, you can take it, come on." He ancoureced once more, his free hand resting on top of James' plump cheeks. It helped a little, but it still wasn't enough. Sure, he could just push it and call it a day, but Remus wanted a softer scene today and hurting James wasn't in the plan. 

He looked up at Sirius, who was still gently caressing James back, "Maybe we can make him finish Moons", he said, catching Remus' eyes "It will help him relax, and I know he will be so so good for us." James made a soft sound, he was still waiting for instructions. His hands lay on the bed, his head tured to the sinde, his perfect ass on display. 

"Good idea, my star", Remus smirked and reached around James' leg so he could jerk him off. There was a string of loud moans that fell from James' lips. "That's it, baby boy. You can come whenever you're ready."

James' muscles tensed up, and a little "please please please" was heard in the room. James came all over Remus' skilled hand (and his bed sheets). His legs stopped shaking, and his breathing came back to normal.

Remus decided to finger him some more, as Sirius bent over him to whisper sweet nothings into his ear. "Let's try again, darling", he said and nodded at Remus to go with the plug. This time it worked, James' body finally accepted the toy. "So well behaved, you took what Remus gave you like the good boy you are", Sirius praised as James came back to his body. Remus made an amused sound and left the toy buried inside. He patted James ass and helped him lay down on the bed. He settled on his side, watching.

"Your turn, pup" Remus and Sirius kissed. They took off their clothes one by one. Leaving kisses and love bites all over their warm bodies. Remus finally settled against the headboard, stretching his long legs. Sirius crawled on top of him and ended up sitting in his lap. They continued kissing as Remus prepped him. "Turn around, my star", he whispered and helped Sirius get into position "Jamie", he called, catching the attention of the almost sleeping sub. "Make Sirius feel good, show him how pretty he is." Sirius lowered himself on Remus' hard cock, as James got on all fours and moved to them. 

James got on his knees, and the plug shifted slightly, making itself known. He ignored it. His fingers reached out and wrapped around Sirius' face. They kissed, and Remus settled his large hands on Sirius' hips, keeping him in place. James trailed kisses all over Sirius' face, going down and kissing his jaw. "Fuck Moony, he's so obidient." Remus kissed Sirius' shoulder and met James there. They shared their own little kiss and went back to focusing on Sirius. Remus bit his neck, leaving a mark. He then proceeded to kiss it better, easing any pain it might have caused. 

James toyed with his nipple piercings, pulling them into his mouth. The sensation always left a funny feeling on his tongue, cold, metallic. He was so into it, such a simple thing brought him so much pleasure. And Sirius enjoyed it too. James kissed all over his chest, following the delicate lines of Sirius' tattoos. His lips created a path down his navel, he skiped the hard and leaking cock, turnig his face to Sirius' thighs. 

The tiny silver scars were there, some covered by tattoos, some not so much. James took his time kissing each and every one of them. He was determined to prove to Sirius that nothing ever truly scared him and that he would always be there to support him. And he still found him so attractive. "Beautiful", James whispered as his lips gently pecked at the soft skin. "Mine", he whispered again, it was so shy, but he had to say it. 

Suddenly, his head was pulled up, and Sirius was kissing him. James could do nothing but submit to the chaotic kiss. 

---

The sun set some time ago, and the room was a bit dark. Remus has been sitting against the headboard for a long time, reading a book. He has a few in the car, and Sirius jokes about it all the time- books and cigarettes for emergencies. He doesn't smoke anymore but always carries a pack with him, just for Sirius. 

When he slipped into the car to grab a book, he noticed that the emergency pack was missing. It didn't surprise him. He's glad that his husband chose the smaller evil, out of all of his unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

His eyes felt heavy; the weekend had been long. Remus was excited to leave it behind. He was happy to learn about the conversation between Sirius and James. His heart swelled with affection. Sirius typically kept his secrets close, feeling uneasy when he opened up to others. The fact that James had earned his trust spoke volumes about his character; he must truly be an exceptional person. 

Remus put the book down, gently kissing Sirius' head, "Love you, pup", he whispered. 

His eyes landed on James, who was asleep, curled up around Sirius. His hair was tousled, and his face was pressed against Sirius's neck. He looked like an angel, soft and delicate, as if he weren't a tall, masculine guy. No, he was simply Jamie—his Jamie. Remus bent down, his lips barely brushing James' forehead, "Love you, Jamie." 

Remus nestled closely, enveloping them in warmth as he drifted into sleep, lulled by the gentle rhythm of their synchronized, calming breaths.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 16: He Feels Like Home

Summary:

James has more revelations about his new relationship.
Is he moving too fast, or not fast enough?

Notes:

We have some more fluffy stuff in this chapter.
James also gets a new rule.

The normalcy of the new week has settled in. Remus and Sirius went back to their flat. It had been a fairly normal week, with last night's dinner being a kind of success. Regulus and Sirius had a total of two fights, and Barty threatened to kill him once. (James is not sure if he was joking or not.) Sirius had once again smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, but agreed to another dinner with his brother. The details were supposed to be agreed on later via text.

Since Remus had work, James went back to his place so the other two could get a good night's sleep. So now, James woke up on Thursday morning alone. His bed seemed weird, cold, and too big for one. It had been like that for some time now.

His usual morning routine seemed different; he made his regular protein shake and went on his morning run. Usually, that was the time when he got to clear his head. He had time to think about what happened this weekend. Today, he couldn't focus; everything seemed to annoy him.

He stumbled back into his house, covered in sweat. His phone buzzed with a good morning text from Remus. James' heart skipped a beat. As much as he appreciated the message, he would much rather hear it in person. He answered and went up to his bathroom for a shower. These thoughts were annoying him lately; he should be happy with the natural progression of the relationship, his four months with them couldn't compare to the years that Remus and Sirius spent together. They probably wanted to take a break from him.

His little spiral of negative thoughts got interrupted by his phone again. It was a photo of Sirius, with messy hair, covered in paint, no shirt, and jeans sitting low on his slim hips. The caption said 'got new inspiration, couldn't sleep, but good day to you, Prongs.' James bit his lip. What a tease. He got an idea, he wanted to return the favour. He made sure to angle his phone just right. His muscular chest and stomach were on full display, his half hard dick just below the camra lance. A little bit of his pubic hair was visible, but that's it. He typed out a quick 'about to shower <3'. Before he could overthink it, he pressed the send button. 

James got into the shower stall, his cheeks burning. He heard the sound of a message coming through, but he ignored it for now. His cock jumped, his head hit the tile wall behind him. One of his hands trailed down his overheated body. He preferred to take cold showers after his workouts, so now the contrast of cold water made every sensation feel more intense. He let out a groan as his hand cupped his heavy balls. James decided to give himself a little treat, he rolled them around between his fingers. He imagined Sirius kneeling before him, ready to please. He imagined Remus standing right behind him, restraining his hands. His hand wrapped around his length, and he pushed his hips forward. 

The sound of his moans filled the room. "Fuck" he mumbled to himself "Please. Can I come, please?" Water was dripping down his body as he worked hard to finish. James could hear their voices, encouraging him. Suddenly, he orgasmed, pumping his hand. James was so lost in his fantasies that it almost took him by surprise. The flowing cool water washed all evidence of his pleasure as he continued with his morning routine. 

---

The topic of 'brotherly dinner', as Sirius took to call it, was brought up once again. He had to come by the PAG to take care of some stuff and was currently sitting in James' office, complaining about it.

Remus brought them lunch, so they could hang out together. So James was downing his sandwich as Sirius walled in circles. "Maybe we can go to a restaurant? I'm sure there are many options." James said between bites. 

"No fucking way" Sirius answered dramatically. "Do you want to see us fight in public? That would be a show, the Black brothers' special," he shook his head. Today, his hair was in a half-up, half-down. James decided that he liked it. A lot. "We are not ready for public displays of affection yet."

"What about Evan's offer? He proposed to meet at their place next." Remus supplied from his cosy spot on one of the armchairs. He was eating a salad, his face scrunching up a few times. Something about the texture. James would ask, but Sirus was having a moment demanding attention. 

Sirius made some sort of weird gesture with his hands. "I'm the older brother," he said as if James and Remus didn't know. "I should be the one who organises these stupid meet-ups. And besides," Sirius was now walking around the desk. "They also mentioned that they still had to unpack a lot before the flat was ready to host guests. They don't even have a couch yet." James turned his head, following him.

Remus reached out for Sirius, offering him the rest of his salad. "Okay, then we do it at ours again. Mister older brother," He scratched Sirius' back when he finally sat down to finish Remus' leftovers. "We will have to move some of your supplies back to the storage room. There's no way for the six of us to fit around them; it was already tight before you turned the living room into a studio." When Sirius got inspired, their whole flat usually turned into a temporary art studio. Their bedroom was tiny and they didn't have more space, so he would just spread out in the main area. 

"You don't have to", James uttered "You can do it at mine." His voice cracked; he didn't mean to overstep, but his house was perfect for hosting dinner parties. Six people, ten, even twenty, would fit comfortably. "Leave the paint where it is", he blushed; he only suggested a solution to a problem his boyfriends faced, right?. Nothing more. "And invite them to my house, it's big enough."

"Jamie, I can't ask you for that. I wanted to cook. I would need my stuff and ... " Sirius said, but his claim fell. He thought about it for a second. "I mean, if you're offering."

"I'm offering, you can bring some of your coking shit too" and your clothes, and your shampoo, and Remus' books, and his clothes. All of it.

Remus made an approving sound, "That's actually the most reasonable solution" he smiled at James. "Thank you." 

James just smiled back and finished his lunch.

---

"Here we have a bat" Barty was doing a tattoo tour, which has been going on for quite some time now. He somehow gave a small backstory to all of his pieces. Where Sirius had tattoos, Barty was a scratchpad. Some of them had deep meninges, some were done just for fun."Bats are cool as shit." 

"That's nice", Remus commented. He was the last one trying to engage with Barty's story. James had zoned out somewhere between tarantula and cat number two. Sirius and Regulus had been quietly talking to each other, leaning against the kitchen counter away from the table. They had the same mannerisms, they also looked very similar. Sirius was more rugged, Regulus more polished. But no one would deny the family resemblance. Evan had been an enigma; his demeanour was calm and collected. Occasionally, he would answer a question if someone asked him directly. Overall, he just stayed quiet. So, Remus was fighting for his life, and Barty seemed to have endless tattoo-related stories and anecdotes. 

"Now, who wants to see the back pieces? I think there's about twenty-one or maybe twenty-three, I stopped counting years ago" Barty was halfway through taking off his shirt when Evan's hand reached out. They looked at each other for a second, and Barty was sitting down, his shirt in place. His cheeks were pink, maybe he got carried away. 

"It's getting late", Evan said, breaking James out of his trance. "We should get going. You will get to your back next time, B." Barty nodded in understanding, and Evan reached out to grab his hand. He gave it a little kiss. James thought it was cute. "Reg, are you ready to leave, my love?" Evan called out to get the attention of the younger Black brother. 

That broke out, whatever the two were talking about. James couldn't read Regulus, but he could read Sirius. To a stranger, Sirius would appear completely normal, but James could see the way he gripped his elbow, fingers flexing. His posture was tense, too good, as if there was a string pulling him up. "Yes, Ev, we should get going." Reg approached them, and the three guests made their way out. Some quick hugs and goodbyes were shared at the door. James saw that Sirius held his brother a little tighter than usual, and something was whispered between them. 

When the car lights flashed outside, James turned to Sirius, and Remus wrapped him in a hug, both sensing his discomfort. "What was it, Padfoot?" Remus whispered softly. 

James reached out to touch Sirius' arms. "I can't talk about it right now," his voice was weak, "it's not my story to tell, it's Reggie's." James stepped in and both wrapped Sirius in their warm embrace. "Today I learnt not to ask questions, I don't want to know the answers to." This was different from his usual reactions, he was loud and angry. Usually, he and Reg would fight about something more or less significant. Sadness seemed so new to James, he saw it only once, when they had that infamous talk in the middle of the night. Sirius stayed for a second, but eventually pulled away. "I want to be alone for a minute. Okay?"

James smiled, "Of course, take all the time that you need, Pads." For the last time, he ran his hands through Sirius' hair. He watched Remus kiss him and whisper a lovely little 'love you' against his face. And with that, Sirius slipped onto the terrace, holding a pack of cigarettes in his hand. Neither James nor Remus commented on it. 

The evening was very pleasant, no death threats this time. James enjoyed the company of the younger three. He obviously loved spending time with Remus and Sirius. It saddened him that Sirius was upset, of course, but he understood the delicate situation of the complicated family dynamic. His house didn't feel so empty tonight.

James put the last glass into his dishwasher. He and Remus had been cleaning up the table. James felt tired but happy. He stretched out his arms, causing his shirt to ride up a little. Suddenly, he felt Remus stick to his back. Those large, scared hands roamed his front, he leaned back to rest his head against Remus' shoulder. He let out a huff of air when Remus pressed his fingers to his lower stomach. They were a little cold. "How are you feeling, baby?" Remus whispered against his neck. 

"Good", James whispered, turning his head slightly to the side. He felt Remus leave a lot of tiny kisses on his now-exposed neck. They took a step forward, and now James was pressed against the kitchen counter. Remus moved his hips brushing against James' perky ass. His hands explored James' body, his fingers stroked his treasure tail. James closed his eyes enjoying the attention, his dick also enjoyed it.

Remus undid the zipper of his pants, he slowly stroked James through his boxers. "I enjoyed the good morning photo you sent in our group chat the other day," he said in his deep voice. "You look magnificent, especially after your runs." Remus purred into his ear, biting it gently. James let out a string of breathy moans, but the counter was preventing him from thrusting his hips. He was trapped. All he could do was simply receive what Remus was giving him right now. "I have a question for you, baby boy." Remus scraped his teeth right below his ear, sending a wave of pleasure down his spine. "Did you touch yourself after, in the shower?"

"Yes, Sir", James answered truthfully, "aha ... I did." Remus took him out of the restricting underwear, and James was panting, moving in small thrusts. He was trying to speed things up.

Remus simply ignored him, his hand stayed slow. "What if I told you that you have to wait for permission to come, even when it's your own hand that gives you the pleasure?" James threw his head back again. "What if I demanded that Sirius or I have to let you orgasm alone?" he was talking to James as if his hand was not currently wrapped around his hard and throbbing dick. James made a pathetic sound, his knees got a little weak. "You could touch as much or as little as you like, but can't finish. Would you like that baby?"

"Yes, yes", James was nodding, his face was sweaty, and he desperately wanted to take off at least some of his clothes. "It's yours, you can have it." Remus sped up his hand; it was a little dry, but James couldn't care less.

"And what if I say no?" Remus was hard against him, James admired his ability to stay focused. "What if I say no now?"

James whined but answered the question, "I would listen." All movement stopped, and the two of them just stood there in his kitchen. And then he felt Remus gently tuck him back into his pants, he felt his zipper being done. "It's yours", James rested his hands on the surface in front of him, as Remus stepped away, giving him space to collect himself. "Thank you, Sir." He was turned on, but if Remus was done, James was done too. 

Not even a minute passed, and he was being turned, and Remus hugged him close to his chest. "Just to be clear, I'm not punishing you" he ran a comforting hand down James' back. "You can't be punished for things that happened before rules were defined." James came back to himself a little and started to kiss Remus' jaw. "The night is still young, maybe I will grant you permission later."

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 17: Life of the Party

Summary:

James, Remus and Sirius are invited to a fancy party with the Potters an unexpected guest turns up and things don't go as planed.

Notes:

Well I guess this had to happen at some point right?
Share your reactions in the comments.

Marlene had had enough of James' (bad) lies about his relationship. She tried talking, but he always answered with short mumbles about being busy. Maybe he could keep this up if it wasn't for one not very tame make-out session in his office.

Marlene stood by the door, one hand still holding onto it. Her little trusted notebook was in the other. "James, I'm gonna need your ..." Her voice cut through the air. She stopped talking, and her eyes went wide. 

Sirius was draped on top of James, and they somehow managed to squeeze onto James' office chair. Thankfully, both of them were fully clothed, Sirius' hair was tousled and wild. Both men were trying to catch their rapid breaths. "Marls ..." James started, but she approached them, shutting him up. She seemed livid. The door slammed behind her. 

"What the fuck James" her voice rang loud against his office walls "he's married, how long has this been going on." She was honestly pissed off but also disappointed.

Sirius slid onto the floor, his hands up. "Listen, this is just a big misunderstanding", he said, walking up to her.

She puffed out some air, "That's something a cheater would say," her eyes narrowed. "I liked you, Sirius." Marlene crossed her arms around herself, pushing her notebook against her chest. She was looking between James and Sirius. "Is that why you have been acting so weird about your relationship?" She put quotes around the word relationship. "Because you are shagging a married man." She got louder with each word. "Who is your employee, that's a fucking lawsuit waiting to happen."

"What's a lawsuit waiting to happen?" Remus opened the door, carrying takeout containers. Their little lunch dates became a regular occurrence, and James felt a wave of relief run through him. Sure, he and Sirius could try talking sense into Marlene, but he saw her point of view. Her boss was kissing a man with a husband in the middle of the day; that's not suspicious. 

"Remus", she turned to him, "Your husband is cheating on you. I don't know a better way to say it." 

"Really", Remus turned to the other two, and Sirius walked up to him. They shared a kiss, and Marlene looked confused. She was about to say something, but Remus was faster. "I assume you saw these two in a compromising position." He pointed at James and Sirius, and she nodded. "Sirius and I are dating James", he smiled and walked up to James, kissing him too. "He's our boyfriend."

Her face was painted with embarrassment, and she looked shocked. "I'm sorry," Marlene whispered and left the room. 

James stood up and followed her outside into her little office "Marls wait." He caught up with her. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her voice a little sad. "Did you think that I would judge you?" She slumped on her chair, looking away from him. "Now I made a fool of myself." Her hands moved on top of the desk, she started to stack the papers scattered around it. 

"No, you didn't, and I know that you would never judge me," he said and walked up to her. "I'm sorry, okay." James wanted to ease her bad mood, so he put one of his hands on Marlene's shoulder. "This is still so new to me, and I feel like we're moving too fast, so I try to navigate all of this the best I can."

"Why would you think that?" She asked earnestly. "James, there's no such thing as timelines for love, people say there are, but I don't believe that." He looked into her eyes, maybe keeping this from her was a mistake. After all, Marlene was a great person and a wonderful friend, he acted out of fear and some weird insecurity. "If you know you love them, be loud about it." 

"You're right", he sent her a small smile. "I apologise once again," James reached for her and pulled her up from her seat. "I know you have a bunch of intrusive questions. Have lunch with us, and I promise to answer most of them. "

She followed him back into his office, with a quick "You know me so well, boss." 

---

James' mother has been reading book after book about different relationship styles, she would randomly text him with updates. She liked to base her judgment on research. Her heart was big, especially when it came to her son; however, when it was hard for her to understand some topics, she reached for books. His father usually took a more hands-on approach, asking questions and basing his life on a simple rule. If everyone involved is happy and no one gets hurt, he doesn't care. Sure, Fleamont didn't truly understand his son; he tried, but it seemed so foreign to him, the idea of dating two people at the same time. That's why James was being bombarded with messages asking for a meet-up. His parents wanted to know his partners, and the charity art auction was coming up. 

So James was now sitting in the passenger seat, with Remus driving and Sirius sleeping in the back. The three invitations sat in his email. The hotel was nice, and James had a good feeling about this weekend trip.

James offered to drive, but Remus explained to him that, due to his car accident, if there was an option, he wanted to be in the driving seat. James, of course, let him take the wheel if it meant that his boyfriend's anxiety was eased. Remus loved to be the one in control, so being the designated driver made perfect sense. His ma texted that they will be waiting for them in the small hotel restaurant. 

Sirius was buzzing with nervous energy. "I don't have the best track record with parents. What if they hate me?" he said when James smoothed his shirt.

"My mam loves you, Pads. Relax, it's going to be fine", Remus chimed in, he was using his cane. His empty arm held onto James' as they walked through the hotel corridors. They dropped their bags in their room (a huge room, with a bathtub due to James insisting on spoiling his boyfriends). 

James reassured him, "They will love you", because I love you. 

And he was right. 

At first, it was a little awkward, the atmosphere a little stiff. But his pa started to ask about Sirius' paintings, his ma asked Remus about his favourite books. The table was filled with warm conversations, a few embarrassing childhood anecdotes and many, many dad jokes. James smiled widely as Sirius relaxed. He watched as Remus and Effie connected over shared favourites and complained about despised authors.

They have been occupying the small table for some time now, and the sun has managed to set. "Mister Potter, that's too much," Remus commented when his glass was once again filled with wine. He could feel the effects of alcohol flowing through his veins.

"Please just call me Monty," he smiled and pointed at his wife ", and that lovely young lady-Effie." He winked. 

She rolled her eyes at her husband's antics. "I agree with Remus, we should head back, it's getting late." 

"Ma, please, just a few more minutes," James asked his mother as if he were a young boy asking for more time with his toys." Sirius was just about to tell the story of his first sold painting."

"Fine, but all of you drink a glass of water before heading back, especially you, Mister Potter." She stood up from her chair and kissed Monty's forehead as she passed him. James stood up to share a quick hug with his mother. "I like them," she whispered against his neck. James beamed down at her. 

"I can walk you to your room, Effie", Remus offered. "I need to move a little, I've been sitting all day." He stood up, and she hooked one of her arms around his. As they made their way out of the room, Remus announced, "I will be back, boys, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." Sirius just chucked and made a comment under his breath, something about doing his worst. 

James offered to grab water from the bar, he was making his way through the crowd that formed in the restaurant. There were a lot of people, presumably for the charity event tomorrow. He stood by the bar, quickly catching the attention of one of the bartenders. 

He waited for a minute, and four glasses of water were put in front of him. James decided to take a sip he didn't even realise how dry his throat got from all that laughter. 

"Oh, pet", James felt someone step behind him. This couldn't be happening. Not now, he wasn't ready. His hands were shaking as he put down the glass he'd been holding. His feet seemed glued to the floor, he couldn't turn around, he couldn't run. There was a wall in front of him, and he was trapped. "It's so nice to see you again." The air was filled with a strong scent of roses.  

He used rose-scented perfume.

Lucius Malfoy had always used this foul rose perfume.

James could recognise it everywhere; it was very specific, old-fashioned. It was so strong, it made his head spin. His lungs were filled with rose petals, he couldn’t breathe. He was frozen. James couldn't talk; he felt a hand on his back. He shrugged his shoulders to shake it off. He wanted to scream, to run, to hide. 

James' father and Sirius appeared next to them. When Fleamont realised who was trying to talk to his son, he saw red. “Take him back to your room, Sirius”, Fleamont said, his body sliding in front of them, covering James protectively. Lucius was forced to step away. “Sirius now”, Fleamont’s tone was angry, his eyes shot through the air and bored into Sirius.

“Prongs, everything alright?” Sirius asked, concerned. His slim fingers were wrapped around James’ bicep. Sirius didn’t know what to do, James didn’t react to his question.“Okay, Jamie”, Sirius whispered as he tried to pull James’ body out of the room. Some people looked at them, but Sirius couldn’t care less. It was simply hard to move James around, he wasn’t cooperating.

“I can’t …” James stared but failed. His eyes crossed, his ears rang, and breathing seemed impossible. 

Suddenly, Remus was walking up to them, his face worried. He left for a minute. Sirius looked like he was going to burst out crying, and James looked like he was about to collapse. “What’s going on?” Remus felt a wave of anger shoot through him. Something happened, and he wasn't here to protect his boys. 

“We need to get him out of here”, Sirius said, "to our room," his eyes focused somewhere behind Remus. “Monty is taking care of it.”

Remus turned and saw James’ father talking to another man. They were moving closer, the tall blond guy glancing in their direction. Remus sensed the situation and made his way to the pair. Sirius was holding James against his side, praying to god he didn’t believe in that his mother was back in her room, away from all of this nonsense.

“Is there a problem, Mister Potter?” Remus asked, standing next to him. He straightened his back, now looking into the other man’s eyes. He was as tall as him, maybe Remus was slightly taller. 

He scanned Remus’ face, and something like disgust was shown in his expression.

It didn’t really bother Remus at this point in his life, he was used to it.

“No problem, Remus, Lucius is leaving”, Fleamont said, his posture tense. His shoulders lifted, his arms crossed over his middle. As if he were keeping himself from doing something he might regret later. 

A stupid smirk played on Lucius' face. “Oh, I’m sorry. We haven’t been introduced properly. Lucius Malfoy,” he said as one of his hands reached out. Remus didn't appreciate it. He saw a rich individual who thought he could get away with everything. 

Remus grabbed it “Listen asshole” he confidently held eye contact with the strange man. “I don’t care who you are, or what you think you can do.” Remus had a lot of practice with rich pricks who wanted to tear down his relationship “If Mister Potter said that you’re about to leave, I better not see you here again.” He let go of the offered hand and turned around “Now excuse me, I have better things to do.” Remus caught up with Sirius and James. The three of them slowly made their way back into their shared room.

James seemed to be in some sort of panic mode, his body moving only with Sirius' and Remus' assistance. His eyes seemed empty and lost, his breathing ragged. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 18: Help me Get Through this Night

Summary:

James faces a hard time, he is hit with a lot of past traumas.

Notes:

This one is heavy.
James has a flashback/nightmare, his past relationship was abusive, so be aware of that.
Take care <3
I did give you a little aftercare in the end there.

James' right cheek stung. 

"What was that pet?" his voice rang in James' ears. Lucius was mocking him. Circling him like a hawk circles its next victim. James knows this dance very well. He's kneeling, his shirt has been taken off. Maybe he will be forgiven for his crimes if he straightens his back more and pushes his hands into a better position.

James took a deep breath, his voice came out shaky. "I'm sorry." One side of his face was red, hot to the touch. 

Another slap, now on his left cheek. Now both sides of his face were red, hot to the touch. "You stupid whore. Again." Lucius was angry, and James didn't know why. He must have earned it, done something to earn that anger. His trying to remember what happened, but it's blurry, so blurry. 

"I'm sorry, Master." His knees went numb some time ago. He was kneeling in the kitchen, next to the dining room table in Lucius' house. They only saw each other in Lucius' house or the club. Something about pointless romanticism: James didn't need more; he couldn't ask for more. 

Lucius made a tsts sound. "Why can't you remember my rules, pet?" He tugged on James' hair, and his scalp burned. "I should leave you here for the night, maybe you will finally learn how to address me properly." His fingers wrapped around James' neck, and he squeezed hard. Then he walked away. James was shivering, he hated this form of punishment. Being left alone, kneeling for hours. It happened a few times, not a lot. It wasn't that bad, he probably deserved it. Right? 

James tried to safeword in the past. But Lucius informed him that punishments are called punishments for a reason. So if safewords could be used to get out of them, what would be the point? James wasn't stupid, he accepted that as a valid point. He didn't safeword during punishments again. 

At some point, he stopped safewording at all. 

His Master knew what he was doing. Right?

Who was James to question him?

They met almost two years ago. In the Shrieking Shack. Lucius was older than James, more experienced. He instantly took him under his wing. James wanted it so badly back then, he was a little desperate. Freshly twenty-one, his best friend opened a sex club, and he wanted to use it. Sure, Lily offered him some non sexual scenes, but it wasn't the same. He wanted more. 

Lucius gave him more. 

James learned that Lucius went through a terrible divorce; his ex-wife, Narcissa, was horrible (according to Lucius himself). He told James about his failed marriage, how she couldn't fulfil her role, and how she didn't listen to his guidance. He said something about her family, how they rearranged everything, and got close. Too close. The words "crazy bitch, fucking psycho" were most commonly used, to describe Narcissa. "She doesn't even know what she lost", Lucius murmured and downed yet another drink. 

That's not how it's supposed to be. That's not what love is all about. James felt bad for Lucius, no one should be trapped in a terrible relationship. 

So he went and fell in love with him. 

James would offer everything he got, but it wasn't enough. Everything he did was for Lucius, he wanted to make him happy. To please him. To be good for him. Because if James loved him, everything would be alright. 

Never enough, he wasn't enough. His love wasn't enough. 

Maybe James was too selfish. The attention and pleasure he took from Lucius should be enough, but it wasn't. Not for him. 

He lost himself in that undefined relationship. James pulled away from his friends, his family. Lucius called him "my little secret" on a good day. He was committed to James, but only sometimes. Everything was blurry, so blurry. The unclear rules, the crossed boundaries. And when someone, anyone, would try and get between them, James lashed out. Because James had fun, he liked spending time with Lucius, he liked bending to his wishes. Right? 

There were some dark spots in his vision again. 

His head was spinning. He reached out his hands, they were slapped back. With something harsh, a cane, maybe. "In position, pet", his voice rang again.

Definitely a cane. 

James couldn't breathe. Lucius was choking him, it was his favourite thing to do. So he did it again, and again, and again. 

"Please", he whimpered. His lungs were burning, he could smell those fucking roses again. 

They were in the basement of the Shrinking Shack, Lucius' favourite setting. James liked the basement because Lucius liked the basement. The ground was rough, the room open. Someone came in to do their own thing in the other corner. Everyone at the club could come down and watch. James wasn't a secret when he was in the basement. He was displayed, or not. Not really. 

Maybe he would feel more at ease if they chose the small stage. James liked the small stage, it made him feel like a performer. He wouldn't mind getting up there and demanding everyone's attention. He would be there, and Lucius would touch him. Only Lucius. 

In the basement, the rules were different. Everyone could watch, and everyone could touch. James was put in the petting zoo, and he liked it. Lucius liked it. James felt odd. It's not like they have done it without permission; the patrons of the club always asked. 

Lucius answered for him. They talked about it, and James consented to that. He thinks, or maybe he didn't. The conversation happened once, at the beginning of their weird relationship; he must have consented. Right?

He can't remember. 

His Master knows what is best for him. Right?

Why would James question him?

His lungs fill with rose petals again. 

"Red", he screams. He will get punished, he knows. But his head is burning, his arms feel numb. "Please red." His voice dies out. His lungs are burning, his knees go numb. James can't scream, can't fight, can't run. He will black out if Lucius doesn't stop. His cheeks are covered in fresh tears, he doesn't know when he started to cry. There's a little bit of air left, or is it? Maybe he will be able to take a breath. 

He tries, it's more of a natural body reaction than anything. He can't control it. A little bit of air gets back into his burning chest. Just a little bit of a relief, it fills him with love and hope. Maybe if he tries again, James will be able to take a breath. A deep breath. 

Maybe he will finally be enough.

But then, the hands are back around his neck, and he is begging; he begs for it to stop. It doesn't, it never does, no matter how much he pleads. 

---

After they made it back to the room, James was almost unresponsive. He jumped at the smallest of touches. His body was tense, he took small breaths, and his eyes wandered around their room. They sat him down on the bed. Remus spoke to him in the softest way he could manage. Gently pulling him out of his head. As if James were a small baby animal, hurting itself, still fighting against a trap it fell into, not ready to trust the gentle giant pulling it out. Sirius sat next to him, not touching, leaving space for James to breathe, but still close. Always close. 

There was a knock on the other side of the door. James' body spasmed again. Remus stormed over, ready to fight whoever was on the other side. He expected Lucius, stupid fucker must have follow them out. But he saw Monty, looking concerned and angry. "How is he?"

"Bad", Remus answered, moving to the side. There was no reason to lie. Fleamont walked in, slowly approaching his son. 

James looked up from where his eyes focused, somewhere on the floor. "He's gone, James", Monty said. He lifted his hands, showing his palms. He took small steps until he stood right in front of James' trembling form. "I took care of it. I'm so incredibly sorry that this happened, " his voice was firm but reassuring "He's not going to touch you." James reached out and touched Fleamont's arms. His fingers tightened around his elbows. "Breathe, son", Monty demanded again. "You need to breathe." Out of pure magic, James' chest expanded, and he took a big, deep breath. 

James' arms unwrapped from his father and reached out for Remus. In seconds, his hand was wrapped up in the jumper Remus was wearing, his fingers stroked it. Monty stood there a little surprised, he didn't comment, just watched. James' eyes looked up, and for the first time tonight, he actually saw Remus. "Hi baby", Remus' deep, soft voice cut through the silence that had formed in the room. "Keep breathing, you are doing so good." 

James moved his head to the side. His brown eyes met grey ones. "It's okay, you're safe," James shook his head slightly. Sirius slid closer and hesitantly wrapped his arms around James' chest. "No one will hurt you, we will make sure of that." Sirius whispered, "I can feel your chest expanding, darling. You're doing so well for us," James tried again, but his head felt heavy, and he failed. He made an unhappy sound, "Shh, it's okay. Keep going, baby."

They sat like that for some time, and no one commented on it. 

James has fallen into a restless sleep pretty fast, his body too exhausted to fight anymore.

"You know", Monty said, watching James' sleeping from. "He reached out for you two," his eyes slid between them. "That's a pretty good sign, James values you a lot. In the past, he wouldn't let anyone besides me and my wife touch him in these moments." Monty left them with that revelation, promising to at least try to rest. He also agreed to keep this whole situation from Effie until tomorrow morning.

Remus followed James right after Fleamont left, although it took him some time to fully fall asleep. He had a long day and needed the rest. His sleep was heavy. Sirius learnt a long time ago that his husband could sleep through a lot. At least one of them had that pleasure. 

Sirius couldn't fall asleep. Insomnia was something he usually struggled with, especially in difficult and stressful times.

At some point in the night, Sirius abandoned the idea of resting all together. He anxiously watched James, his sunshine James, struggle so much. Even sleep didn't bring the intended idleness. Dark thoughts and bad dreams clouded his mind. His body moved, and suddenly, a little whimper of pain left his lips. James' chest constricted, as if he couldn't catch a breath. His eyes shot open, his arms came down on the bed, and his fingers twisted against the sheets. He was shaking and gasping for air.

Sirius moved closer, careful not to frighten James more, "I'm going to touch you, Jamie." Sirius announced, he didn't have a better plan. He decided to be honest, he wanted to offer as much of himself as he could. "James, I love you, it's okay", Sirius pushed James' body against his. "I love you, darling", he whispered into his hair. James grabbed onto Sirius' sleep shirt, pulling closer and closer, his face hidden in Sirius' neck. "It will be okay, you just need to breathe, you're safe," Sirius spoke softly. "Just take a breath, one breath, baby boy." His hands were shaking as he held James against him.

After a few minutes of rocking back and forth and Sirius' gentle encouragements, James' breathing came back to semi-normal. He was still shaken, but at least now he was aware of his surroundings. "Thank you." He whispered, resting his lips against Sirius' jaw. He kissed him there, just a small kiss, very innocent.

"I love you", Sirius whispered back to him. "You don't have to say it back, I just need you to hold onto that," he spoke gently, running his fingers down James' back. "When you fall into that darkness again, remember that Remus and I are here for you. Always."

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 19: Facing Demons

Summary:

Remus gets confronted with James’ trauma, Monty makes a promise, and Effie makes a deal with the devil.

Notes:

We are still going with the hurt.
James is struggling.
And his parents are sick of it.

Also, if you saw me posting this before, no, you didn't. :)

The morning hotel breakfast was tense. Effie looked like she was about to break down with James. They hugged for a long time, and she sat with him as everyone else busied themselves and brought them plates full of food.

"Sirius. I could use an artist's eye. Do you have a minute?" Fleamont asked. He stood up and waited for Sirius to follow him. Remus and Sirius shared a look. Effie was trying to get James to eat more of his food. He wasn't interested. Remus moved closer and joined forces with James' mother.

Sirius caught up with Monty. They walked outside, silently. Once they seemed to be far enough, Monty turned to him. Sirius felt a shiver run down his spine. He didn't have the best track record with family affairs and angry men. "Sir?" he cleared his throat.

"Sorry, kid", Monty shook his head. "I wanted to talk away from James." There was a pause. They started to walk. The charity event was beginning, people were setting up all around them. "I don't know all of the details, but my son went through something nobody should go through." His eyes, so similar to James, focused in front of them. "I want to make sure that doesn't happen again."

"I can assure you that both my husband and I love and care for your son," Sirius said truthfully. "We will do everything in our power to help him out of this situation." They passed a beautiful painting. Normally, Sirius would pay attention, but now he couldn't care less. "I know what it's like. My family was not the most ..." he looked around, "loving."

Monty stopped "I know", he took a breath. All rich people know each other, or at least know of each other in some way. "The Black family is not famous for being the healthiest. To say lightly. Rumours spread fast in this world." Their eyes met, "and you have no contact with them, right?" That was a big deal in upper society, the heir of the house of Black running away with a commoner.

"Only my brother", Sirius smiled. This was still so new to him, "We reconnected recently, but no one else."

Feamont nodded and turned to him, "Listen, I can see how James acts around you and Remus, he's happier", he remarked. "The way that he reached out for you two yesterday says a lot, and I do like you." Sirius looked into his eyes "but if something happens I won't hesitate, I did once, and I regret it every fucking day."

Sirius nodded, "Me neither, Sir." He looked away somewhere in the crowd, expecting to see the one person who caused this whole mess. "I will make sure that he's safe."

"Please call me Monty," his demeanour changed. Almost like James' father couldn't stay angry for too long, "We talked about it, Sir, makes me feel old."

---

"And you, the beacon of light, are willing to conspire with the Black family.”

“I would sell my soul to the devil himself if it meant that my son is protected.” Euphemia sat down on one of the chairs, spread out on the little hotel balcony. "You of all people should understand that, Narcissa."

There was a little bit of movement on the other side of the phone call. "But why now?" Narcissa asked. "Look I don't know what had happened, and trust me I dream of sending that excuse my language asshole to a dark pit of hell." The warm wind blew in Effie's face, she pushed the device closer to her ear. "He's not going to just give up."

"I know that", she took a sip from her almost empty glass of white wine, maybe it was too early for that. She didn't care. "Here's the thing, we are going to ruin him", the glass clicked against the table. "Financially." She looked down at the people gathered in the hotel garden. The charity event was loud, music and laughter filled the air. "We attack his company. Not him as a person, but his business."

"And how are you planning on doing that? " There was nervousness in her voice. Narcissa paced around, and Effie just stayed silent. The room behind her was empty, so Monty went out to get them something to eat. He probably went to check on James again. "Any skeletons in your closet? Missus Potter, with all due respect, he's a powerful man."

Euphemia finished her wine "And you are a powerful woman, Miss Black" there was more shuffling on the other side of the line. "You are smart, and I know about some of your own skeletons."

"I have no idea what you are implying ..."

"I'm implying that you have piles of evidence on your ex-husband's financial deceptions, and you keep yourself protected with it. The divorce was ruled in your favour for a reason", Effie cut her off. "And before you deny anything, I have some interesting things on my side as well, Miss Black"

There was a huff of annoyance from the other side, "What are you saying? There's nothing you could use against me. Turning to blackmail is not really your style."

"Well, technically no. There's nothing about you," Effie stretched out like a cat in the midday sun. She got what she wanted, Narcissa's attention. "But your sister Bellatrix", a small gasp was heard over the phone. "She is truly as bad as they say."

"What did she do?" Narcissa sounded a little frustrated. "I swear that woman is going to be the death of me."

Effie smiled, "She likes to visit a certain establishment", she started to drum her fingers against the wine glass ", she likes to let herself enjoy all of life's pleasures, with people that are definitely not Mister Lestrange." Effie Potter was smart, she also liked to drink tea with a certain redhead. Both of them cared about James, so Lily was always ready to help. Even if it meant putting her reputation on the line. "You know, nowadays", she spoke gently, "everyone carries a camera around."

Euphemia Potter waited for a response. Maybe this wasn't the most honourable way of resolving this situation, but she simply can't hold her golden boy in her arms as he sobs his heart out again. She can't. And she will do everything to bring Lucius to justice.

Even if it means getting her hands dirty in the process.

"I see", Narcissa said after a few minutes of silence. Effie watched as one of the waiters slipped and almost spilt all of the drinks he was carrying. He managed to catch his balance. "I will ask my lawyer to look through the options. Do you wish to be informed? "

"Yes, dear", Effie said, her voice full of pride. She moved her face toward the sun, and its soft glow covered her. Effie always loved the sun. She heard the room door open. Fleamont was back, carrying too much food for just them. She rolled her eyes at his antics. "If you need anything, any help." She turned to her husband. He approached her and put the full tray next to her. "Don't hesitate, reach out."

Narcissa seemed a little taken aback; she didn't expect Euphemia to offer help. "Well ... thank you for the offer."

"Good luck, dear." She said and hung up the call. "Why so much, meri jaan?" she asked.

"It's not much, meri preyasi" he sat down on the other chair. "Who was that chatting your ear off?" Monty grabbed one of the grapes he brought up and popped it in his mouth.

"One of my friends", she reached for the wine bottle, but her husband was faster. He poured her a hefty glass. "She's having a pest problem in her garden, and I offered to help with it."

He shook his head, "Of course, you want to help everyone" Monty poured himself some of the wine. Not his first choice, but today he will take what he can get. "My wife, always making everyone happy."

---

James was understandably not in a great mood. 

Everyone around him was helpful, but when his pa checked in on them for the fourth time that day, he knew it was bad. Monty stepped into the room and left the things he brought on the little table that stood in front of the TV. James was constantly being fed. There was another plate filled with food, and a bunch of little appetisers from the event. He was gone as fast as he appeared. 

Now, a water bottle was being pressed into his shaky hands. Something about being hydrated, James didn't catch it. They were sitting on the bed, Remus on his right, Sirus at the foot. There was a lot of noise coming from outside. It annoyed him. 

James tried to take a sip, but he failed. The noise got louder. Fuck. What was going on downstairs? His ears were buzzing. He smelled something he couldn't place. Maybe smoke or fire. Can you smell fire? It's smoke that you smell. Maybe it's wood, something like that. Wood burning smells different from a cigarette burning. Maybe fireworks. Do they have a distinct smell?

"James, baby", he felt someone grab his bicep. He jumped and the water he was holding in his hand spilt all over him. And the other man. And the bed. The buzzing got louder, and his breath got faster. He fucked up.

His hands started to pat the wet fabric. "I'm sorry", his voice sounded weird, almost childlike. Fear filled him; he was going to get punished. Stupid fucking pet. Can't do anything right. His movements got more frantic. There was nothing he could do to fix this. 

Or was it? 

"It's okay, I'm gonna grab a towel from the bathroom", a voice sounded in his ears. His eyes focused on the man currently sitting on the bed. He took off his jumper and was now left in only a white undershirt. The other one left. Sirius. His clouded mind supplied, Sirius left to go to the bathroom. James stood up from the bed and made his way to the hardwood floor. 

There was a carpet, but everyone knows that pets are not allowed to kneel on carpets. "James", his head was spinning, he couldn't place the voice. Sirius. No. Sirius was in the other room. Getting towels. Becouse James fucked up. He took off his shirt, because that's what's expected. "Jamie" had his head bowed low. He was still shaking, but put his hands on his thighs. Palms up. He waited. "Baby, what are you doing?"

Remus watched as James got into a kneeling position. He was not new to the world of kink. He knew that James was now offering his apology. He stood up from the bed and walked up to him. Remus' mind couldn't wrap around it. How can someone hurt this perfect sub so much? He approached his shaking body as gently as he could. "I'm sorry, Master." James whinied out. His head moved, and he presented his neck. His eyes focused on the clock, which decorated one of the walls. "You may choke me now, Master" he was so scared, his voice was small, barely there "I'm so sorry."

Remus saw tears run down his cheeks, and he saw the muscles in his whole body tense. Yet he was trusting him, putting this in his arms. Remus refused to participate in whatever this false act was; James was hurting, lost in his head. "No, baby", he took a small step closer. James whined, "I will not do that." He was standing before him. James' eyes still refused to meet his. 

"Please," he choked out. "I will do anything, Master." His arms came up and hugged Remus' legs. He pushed forward, "I will make you feel good, suck you off" James was shaking and crying as he said those words. His breathing was fast, and he looked hysterical. "You can take me, please. I will be good." He sounded like a manic. 

Remus was frozen; a shiver of disgust ran down his spine. "No, James," he said firmly. He didn't know what to do and de-escalate the situation. "Red", he hissed out when James was trying to undo his belt. "James," he looked down, his boy was breaking down. "I will not touch you while you are in this state." His own voice broke slightly, "I can't, I won't." 

"Let me," Sirius, who was watching the whole exchange from a distance, stepped up. Remus stood like a stone; he had no intention of moving away from James. "Do you trust me?" Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and kissed it. His thumb made a few slow strokes over those scarred knuckles. 

"With my life," Remus answered. He looked away from Sirius and glanced down at James. 

Sirius nodded "Okay, then go and sit down on the bed." Remus reluctantly did what he was asked to do. He watched as Sirius slid onto the floor and knelt beside James. He grabbed James' head in his hands, his fingers stroked over James' ears. 

"He hates me", James cried out, and Remus' heart just broke into a million pieces. James was hyperventilating. "He doesn't want me anymore, he hates me," his cries filled the room. 

Sirius shook his head, "No, darling", he whispered and gently kissed James' cheeks. "He's waiting for you, for us," Sirius was talking slowly. James reached out his arms and wrapped them around Sirius' bent elbows. He pulled himself closer. Remus was fighting demons, and he wanted to get up and hug them both. He was so close, yet so far. "You need to promise to listen to me, and to your Sir," Sirius emphasised his title. 

"I promise," James nodded, his head moving so fast. Remus was convinced that James would agree to everything in this state. 

"My good boy," Sirius praised. James made a small sound, almost painted. "That's it," Sirius pampered him with feather-light kisses. "I love you, darling." Remus took a deep breath. He wanted that too. He wanted to tell James, but he had to wait, just a little. 

James was supposed to come to him. 

And he did. After a few more minutes of Sirius encouraging him. James crawled back to bed. He was unsure, but Remus opened his arms and waited. Finally, he settled against his chest, and Remus wrapped his arms around him protectively. "I love you, Jamie", he kissed his forehead. "I love you so much." He started to run his fingers through James' hair, and he moved just a little to adjust them better. James tensed up against him. "Shh, it's okay," Remus gave him another forehead kiss "I got you, baby boy, you're so well-behaved." His arms were tight, and James didn't seem to mind. His face was pressed against Remus' neck. He was breathing deeply, grounding himself. 

Remus didn't even notice his own tears until Sirius wiped them. "I know", he whispered and kissed Remus. "What will you say to a bath? It will help us all relax, and we can be together."

"I don't know Pads", he said back to his husband. He looked down and saw James gazing up at him. There was a shy hint of a smile there, and he looked relaxed now. "Are you up for it, baby boy? No funny business, tho, just a relaxing bath." Remus was stern; he still couldn't shake the image of James shaking on his knees begging for something he deemed a hard limit. 

James nodded and mumbled, "Yes, Sir." He kissed Remus' collarbone. "Want to be close to you."

Remus melted; his boyfriend wanted love and affection. And as the three of them enjoyed the warm bubble bath. He made a promise that if he ever saw Lucius Malfoy again, that man would not be walking away from that fight. Remus might look like a librarian with a chronic health condition (and he is one of those types), but he also grew up on the wrong side of town, and he knows how to take care of himself and others he loves. 

And he certainly loves James Potter.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Translations for the nicknames:
meri jaan - my sweetheart
meri preyasi - my dear

That's what Google said, if it's incorrect, please correct me <3

Chapter 20: Hurting is a Part of Healing

Summary:

Remus takes on the blame, Sirius lends a helpful hand.

Notes:

We are moving out of the angst city, there’s still a few things left but it’s lighter then the past few chapters.

"Padfoot. I can hear your heavy breathing." Remus turned to him, they were in their flat, in their bed. Remus was trying to fall asleep. "You have been tossing and turning more than usual."

Sirius moved to his side, they were now facing each other "Did we make a mistake? Maybe leaving him alone was a bad idea." They had come back from the hotel a few hours ago. James had a better day, he seemed relatively normal. Definitely better than the day prior. So they dropped him off at his house. The goodbyes were long, and Sirius hoped that James would ask them to stay. He didn't. 

"He's an adult" Remus said, and reached out to take Sirius' hand in his "I'm worried as well, but we can't force ourselves on him." 

Sirius made a low sound from the back of his throat "What if he has a nightmare again? What if he needs us and we are not there?" Sirius sat up; he was frustrated. Remus followed his lead, he put a pillow under his back. His body was aching, probably because of all the stress. He wasn't able to take a break, now it was adding up. "Maybe we can stay with him? At least for a week or two."

"We will see him tomorrow, my star", Remus uttered. He didn't want to push James too much. "What if he wants some space?" he ran a hand through his hair. 

Sirius huffed again. "You saw how he was clinging to us this whole time; he doesn't want to be alone," he said, annoyed. Sirius knew that there was something else, something holding Remus back. He had a vague idea. In the past, he would drop it in the name of not wanting to cause more issues. But after some hard life lessons, he learnt that communication is key. Especially when the relationship contains more than two people. "Are you worried about the kneeling?" Sirius slid closer. "It scared you."

Remus looked away, he let Sirius cling to his chest. "Yes", his voice was small, it wasn't usually like that "What if he does it again? What if I can't see the differences? What if ... " Remus stopped himself, voice breaking, his hand made its way to Sirius' hair. 

"My love", Sirius whispered. "It's not your fault, you did the right thing", he said against Remus' skin. He pulled himself closer "James was so lost, you saw it." Remus nodded, he was still looking away tho. Sirius wrapped his hand around Remus' jaw and pulled. Their eyes met, green on grey. "You always pay attention, you know when people are lying. I would know." He kissed Remus' lips "You know I used to do that too." 

Remus closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears "You wanted me to punish you, you wanted to stop the pain in your head." He was crying again. Remus was getting tired of crying, "And I gave in." 

"We were young and inexperienced", Sirius spoke to him. "I'm here, you didn't hurt me, you didn't scare me away." He kissed those tear-stained cheeks. He held Remus' head and just covered him in kisses "We made rules, defined boundaries, dropped the things that triggered me." 

"James is not you", Remus said. Remus was fully blaming himself for what happened with Sirius. As if there was any way to stop it. They dove headfirst into kink, with no preparation. It ended up blowing in their faces. Sirius triggered his childhood trauma, lashing out at Remus to hurt him back. But they learnt, with the help of their ex. He wasn't perfect, and the ending of their relationship was a shit show. But the good things that happened and all the knowledge they gained were priceless. 

They discovered that Sirius was way more of a switch than a sub. They learnt that gentle domination is as valid as non-gentle one. They learnt that Sirius couldn't call Remus Sir, it was too much for him. They learnt that Remus loved taking him apart and putting him back together. They learnt that enjoying others didn't demolish the love they had for each other. 

"Moony", Sirius sat on Remus' lap "Do you think that the man who was clinging to you like a lifeline for the past forty-eight hours doesn't want you back?" Remus just let out a sigh. "My husband has lost his mind." Sirius leaned down and kissed him. "He loves us, loves you." Sirius whispered, "We need to give him time to verbalise it."

"I know, my star" Remus wrapped him up in a hug. "Thank you", he whispered into his hair. "But we still can't just move into his house." There was a groan from Sirius "He needs to ask for help" Sirius pulled away and was now glaring at him. "As soon as that happens we agree, and get to enjoy that fucking bed."

"God, I love that bed," Sirius flopped back against his pillow "Once you experience the luxuries of life, it's hard to go back."

"Okay, posh boy", Remus rolled his eyes and lay down beside his husband. 

---

Five days have passed since they came back to a semi-normal life. Sirius and Remus showed up at James' house every day. And every day, James just stayed in his bed. They didn't judge, but both started to get more and more concerned. 

James was simply existing. He wasn't moving, he only ate when Sirius made him. He couldn't do much else. James texted Marlene that he will be unavailable for the upcoming week. She texted back, not to worry about it. His body seemed frozen, he couldn't sleep. Yet asking for help seemed like an impossible task. 

On Saturday morning, Sirius almost broke the car door. Remus was still parking when his husband flew out. He left the groceries they bought on the kitchen counter and made his way into James' bedroom. He was in a constant state of anxiety. 

"Hi", he said. James lifted his head from the pillow. He acknowledged Sirius' presence and put it back down. Sirius kept smiling as he approached his side. "Good morning. Have you slept?" he asked. 

"Berly", James whispered and moved his head closer to Sirius' hand. His hair was a mess, it needed to be washed. 

There was some chatter coming from downstairs. Someone was making their way up. Sirius stood up. Was it Remus? He probably wanted to put the groceries into the fridge first. 

Suddenly, a lady with long blond curls appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a long and flowy dress and had a lot of tangled necklaces on. Sirius' eyes followed down her outfit, he liked it. It looked eclectic. “Is that a cat?” Sirius asked. There it was in her arms, a creature with big golden eyes looking back at him. Sirius wasn't the biggest fan of cats. 

“Yes, this is Luna”, the strange lady lifted the little ball of fur to her face. Her smile was wide, a little manic but contagious. “She’s here to cheer up Jamie.”

Sirius moved his head to the side “Wait, who are you?” he asked. That face, he knew that face. He just couldn't place it. This woman had a teal septum ring; he saw it somewhere. 

“Oh, I’m the co-owner slash bartender at the Shrieking Shack”, she gave him one of her hands. “Pandora Evans”

Sirius shook it, he was a little confused. “Right.” What was she doing here? Did James know her? Questions piled up in his mind. 

The cat, Luna, made her way into James’ bed. Her little body slid somewhere close to the big human-like shape, and James started to pet it. One of his hands unwrapped from the messy sheets. She moved closer to his fingers and gently pushed against them. A little smile decorated James' tired face. 

“Jamie boy”, Pandora’s voice rang next to Sirius. “You need to get up and let your hottie number one over here help you shower. Okay?” A little grumble of protest came out from the bed, “I know you don’t want that.” She continued, “But it will make you feel better.”

Pandora carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, she didn’t want to touch James. Sirius watched; he wanted to help, to do something. Voices came from the kitchen. Remus was talking to someone “How many people are here?” he asked, a little irritated. This was not the time for guests. Sirius felt protective of his loves. He didn't want James to get overwhelmed.

“I know why he calls you Padfoot,” she muttered under her breath. “Only the light of my life, the best woman who has ever walked the face of the Earth.”

“Lily” James supplied from his spot. “She’s helpful, Lily.” He sat down against the headboard, the sheets now piled around his middle. Sirius made a mental note about changing them later. Because there's nothing better than getting to lie down in freshly washed sheets. 

“And I’m not”, Pandora made a fake offended face. “I brought my daughter to help you relax.” Luna sat down on James' tights and stretched out. She quite enjoyed her role as a stress relief device. 

“Thank you”, James said and sent a smile her way. His hand never left Luna's soft fur. “Sirius, can you … ” he started, his voice a little unsure. James always struggled with that part, asking for help. Asking for things in general. "… help me?”

Sirius sprinted to his side “Of course, my darling”, he basically lifted James off the bed. “Let’s get you all cleaned up, baby.” 

Pandora stood up, and little Luna followed her out of the room. “I will leave you to it,” she said and grabbed the small animal, “me and hottie number two are going to prepare something to eat. I don’t want to hear any excuses. You will eat it.” With that she was gone. 

“If Remus is hottie number two”, Sirius commented. “I don’t think we will be able to eat it. But I like her enthusiasm.”

They made their way into James' giant bathroom. He sat down on the little 'bathroom' chair his ma insisted on. Who would have thought that it would become useful one day? Sirius busied himself with getting James a spare set of clothes to put on after. He opened the cabinet and pulled out new towels. James watched him move with such ease. He knew where everything was, having stayed at James' so many times.

"So pretty boy. What are you in the mood for, a shower or a bath?" he asked, putting his hair into a bun on top of his head. He put his hands on his hips and waited. 

James bit his lip, "A bath", he breathed out, "please." The great pleasure of being filthy rich, having a bathroom with both a shower and a bathtub. Sirius started the bath, he put some body wash in to make bubbles. It might have seemed silly, but James thought it was cute. 

Sirius helped him every step of the way. He took off his clothes and held his hand while James settled in. He gently covered James' head with warm water "Close your eyes, baby", he whispered as James complied. He was kneeling on the outside of the bath, on the little bathmat. Soft fingers started to untangle James' hair. It felt amazing, and James could feel himself slip into a relaxed state of mind. Sirius worked conditioner into his curls, leaving it in so it would work better. James felt his body heat go up, he felt the ghost of Sirius' lips against his. 

The smell of vanilla filled the room as Sirius lathered him up with body wash. His hands were moving against James' back, massaging his tense muscles. This was getting him turned on. He opened his eyes to watch as Sirius moved to his arms and chest. "Sirius", he moaned when those skilful fingers ghosted over his nipples. James threw his head back. This wasn't planned, but being naked around Sirius (or Remus) usually put him in the mood. Fast. Especially after this long time of not touching or being touched. "Please, Sirius, touch me."

"Oh my darling, I'm touching you" Sirius watched him like a hawk. He watched the reactions, he watched for potential lies. "My good boy", he saw nothing of that sort. James was enjoying the gentle exploration his hands made all over his body. Who was Sirius to deny him? 

James' hips jumped, his hard-on sticking out of the warm water. "I'm good?" he asked, almost surprised. 

Sirius leaned over and kissed him. His shirt was getting a little wet, and his knees were getting numb. He couldn't care less. There was a glimpse of James, his Jamie, he would never pass on an opportunity like that. To make him feel good and desired. "Of course, you are so well behaved", he whispered against James' lips, "you have to be a little quiet, okay?" James nodded and kissed Sirius again. He clearly missed it. "We have guests," Sirius sneaked his hand down James' front, "but that's not going to stop us."

James was nodding as Sirius' fingers wrapped around his length. He huffed a bit of air and bit down on his bottom lip. "Fuck" he uttered as Sirius was intentionally jerking him off. "Fuck Sirius I'm close."

He was so turned on that it seemed like all of his stress and sadness just disappeared. As if Sirius giving him a hand job was the most erotic thing that has ever happened to him. With each move of James' body, the water moved in the bath, splashing against the sides. He was panting, his fingers digging into Sirius' arm. "Shh, my good boy", Sirius was muttering under his breath, "You can come whenever you are ready." 

James lifted his hips, chasing after Sirius. He was pushing and pushing and finally reached his orgasm. "I'm coming, fuck." He chanted "I'm coming."

"Yes, my darling", Sirius helped him through. "Come for me, come on, good job." The prize just fell from his lips so easily, James rode the aftershocks of his high. He let his head fall on the edge of the tub. Sirius was creasing his body, bringing him out of that blissful state. "Jamie", he uttered, "Are you okay?"

James lifted his head and looked back into Sirius' eyes "Never better" Sirius let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. They shared a few more kisses. There was silence between them. But it wasn't awkward or tense. Sirius rinsed his hair again. James relaxed against his soft touches until a thought popped into his head. "I'm such an ass" he sat more straight. Sirius moved his hands away immediately. "What about you? I can see that ..."

"Jamie", Sirius cut him off "You don't have to. This is about you." He moved closer and kissed him "I enjoyed making you feel better." 

James nodded and relaxed a little. He wanted to share something, tho "You once told me not to infantilise Remus. Please don't start doing the same with me," James' voice was clear. Yes, this weekend was triggering for him. But James had years to overcome this trauma. It was a bump in his healing journey. He didn't want to be treated any differently by his partners because of a bad moment. "I'm not up for it today, you're right." Sirius nodded; he was proud that James was speaking up. "But in the future, I don't want to be defined by my past."

Sirius closed the distance between them. "I understand and will try my best. I love you, Jamie." They kissed, but James didn't answer. He knew what to say, so he decided to share it with both Remus and Sirius. He didn't have a particular reason why; he just wanted them both to know at the same time. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 21: My Love(s)

Summary:

Lily pushes all worries away, and James lets his heart speak.

Notes:

They are in loveee <3

I'm on a roll with this fic. Like these few chapters were surprisingly easy to write :)

She is active.
Please don't get used to it :')

Remus learned a few things on this seemingly normal Saturday morning, including that the owner of his favourite sex club was James' best friend. The best friend, Lily Evans, was now in James' kitchen explaining how she (and her wife Pandora) got here.  

"So Effie called you?" he asked. Lily was sitting on one of James' high chairs next to the kitchen island. She nodded. "We have known each other for years." There was a cup of tea in front of her. She took a sip. "Look, this is not our first rodeo with James." Her green, sharp eyes bored into him. "I'm happy you and your husband are here for him," she smiled, "but James is shit at asking for help; he needs someone to push him."

Remus looked into his own steaming cup. "Thank you for showing up." He was truly grateful. While Sirius was ready to push James, Remus, on the other hand, was not. 

"He cares about you two" She was watching Remus' every move "And I'm sure you care deeply about him."

Remus looked back at her "But?" he felt a weird wave of possessiveness run through him. There was an implication there, he didn't like it. Sure, Lily and James had known each other for much longer, but Remus would do unspeakable things if it meant that James was safe.

"But", she uttered, rolling her shoulders back. "It can be scary when he loses it." Lily was looking with a challenge, her posture protective. He saw a lot of power in her. 

"I'm not planning on leaving him any time soon", Remus barked out, it came out way more harsh than he intended to. "I don't get scared when things get hard."

Her head moved to the side. She was about to say more, but Pandora flew down from James' bedroom. Little Luna made her way between Remus' legs, her little head nuzzling his not-so-healthy leg. He bent down and picked her up. Remus had always been a cat person (don't tell his husband). "Jamie boy is taking a shower as we speak" Pandora moved to the fridge and started to take out ingredients to make breakfast. "Now you two, either help me or get lost."

"We will move to the table, Dora ", Lily answered for him. He followed her lead, carrying his cup of tea in one hand. Luna stretched out on his other arm, her face resting on his large palm. "Look. I didn't mean to ruffle any fathers."

His fingers started to scratch the soft white fur, he was rewarded with loud purrs. "This week has been stressful, we are all on edge", he said. Remus knew that Lily was just looking out for her friend "And you are right, when he disappears in his head, it's terrifying." He looked away, admitting this at loud in front of a stranger felt weirdly intimate. 

"Let me guess, he dropped to his knees and begged for a punishment", Lily spoke softly. Remus nodded, still refusing to meet her eyes. "He used to do it a lot, right after shit hit the fan." She watched Remus' profile, the way his jaw was all tense. "The good thing is he had years to overcome it, he knows what he likes and what he doesn't."

"Yeah, but mistakes happen", Remus turned to her. "What if I trigger him?" his eyes were full of sadness and anger. 

"We are not perfect doms. No one is perfect," Lily said and leaned back on her chair "If he gets triggered during a scene, you treat it like a safeword. Discuss it, and do your aftercare. Watch his reactions, you will know when it happens, " Remus shook his head. He felt defeated. Lily continued, "He would never give him that. James was left to come back to himself. Alone, scared and lost."

Remus was shocked, "No aftercare", he moved closer and whispered in disbelief. "Not at all."

She nodded, "Yep, no aftercare. Even after the most intense scenes," Lily ran a hand through her long red hair. She tugged at the ends "So many times I found James, in my club, in the basement, just broken. I will never forget it," She cut herself off, looking into the distance, "I tried to help him, but there wasn't a lot I could do." 

"Why did you let him into your club after that?" he wasn't blaming Lily; he just remembered the rules. If a patron breaks them, they should be removed. 

Lily turned to him, "At least I could keep an eye on them if they did it there", she spoke her voice tense. "What do you think would happen if I banned Lucius? He would drag James to some dingy club with no protection." Lily was speaking in a hushed tone, not wanting others to hear "It broke me, every fucking time okay. But it was the smaller evil."

"I understand", Remus reached out and squeezed her hand "I should thank you for that."

"You are a good person, Remus", she held his hand ", and a good dom." Remus smiled. It was nice to hear, "James told me about you and Sirius, don't start treating him differently because of this." Remus, of all people, knew what it was like to be treated based on people's assumptions, even if those people had the best intentions. "If there's anything you need help with, don't hesitate to ask." She smiled at him and moved away. "I started my club to help people discover themselves, and I've been a professional for years. It won't be weird."

Remus thanked her once again, he felt so much better about the whole thing. 

---

Pandora and Lily stayed for the whole day. 

Sirius was looped into helping Pandora prepare some food for the upcoming week, the two also managed to clean James' bedroom and bathroom. Lily, Remus and James talked on the couch. Lily wanted to make sure that everything was relatively normal. James assured her that everything is heading in the right direction. She once again offered her help. Luna the cat (as Sirius called her) had a blast switching from James to Remus. She also spent some time running around the spacious rooms. 

When the sun started to go down the girls got ready to leave. Lily wanted to check on the club, make sure that things were going smoothly. 

Remus and Sirius stood next to the door as James shared some much-needed hugs. With a quick goodbye and 'we must see each other in better circumstances, ' the room fell silent. James turned to his boyfriends. Remus was leaning against the back of his couch, and Sirius was returning dirty dishes to the kitchen. The whole room was covered in soft yellow light. James could feel his heart speed up. Sirius put the leftovers into a plastic container, and Remus flooded one of the couch blankets. So easy. So domestic. His stomach filled with butterflies. 

Say it, you idiot

"I love you," James blurted out, blushing like crazy. "I'm in love with you, " he said, watching the other two. Remus was closer, but Sirius was faster. He flew through the room and almost knocked James down. 

"I love you" Sirius attacked his lips in a hungry kiss. "My darling", James smiled into the kiss. His arms wrapped around Sirius' body, and he managed to pick him up. Sirius wrapped his slender legs around James. His arms hugged behind James' neck, "I love you." He was smiling like a crazy man.  

James turned his head to the side, his lips captured by Remus. It amazed him so much, how could these two men kiss so differently? Remus sneaked his hand around James' jaw, he moved him to the side, adjusting the angle. It was slower, more sensual. When Remus kissed him, James knew there was a purpose to it. He was claiming James, just like Sirius did just moments ago. Pulling away, Remus whispered, "I love you, baby." James pecked those lips once again. 

Sirius was still wrapped around him like a koala bear. "Stay", James said. He wanted to be surrounded by their love and warmth. "Stay with me." Remus put his hand on James' back. He rubbed it with soothing circles. 

"Of course, Jamie", Remus bent to kiss his forehead. "Whatever you need, baby."

James was so ready to jump their bones. He wanted to pour all of his love into it. His freshly changed sheets had other plans. As soon as he slid into them, he was out. His exhaustion was hitting him hard. James tried to keep his eyes open, but his eyelids felt so heavy. Sirius was now on top of him, stealing kisses from his lips. Remus was behind him, holding James' tired body against himself. "We will be here when you wake up," Sirius whispered as he pulled James' glasses from his nose. "Sweet dreams, my darling Prongs."  

James didn't have a chance to answer, he was out in a matter of seconds.

When James woke up, his bed was warm, so warm. He finally managed to sleep through the whole night. No worries, no nightmares. Remus was still sleeping next to him. James moved closer, he wanted to soak up all of the warmth from his boyfriend. He plastered himself against Remus' back. His nose scratched the back of Remus' neck. 

James watched the bathroom door open. Sirius came out, his hair freshly washed. There was a towel wrapped around his narrow hips. James saw that a few drops of water still lingered on his tattooed torso. Sirius started to dig through James' dresser. James moved his head so he had a better view of his boyfriend's back. The sound must have alerted Sirius, because he turned back to face them. 

"Hi darling", he said softly. Sirius moved against the floor without making a sound. He had so much grace in his movements. "Enjoying the show." He twirled, and his hair moved slightly. It wasn't fully dry yet. 

"Mhm", James mumbled, he was now lying on top of Remus' sleeping form. "Come here and kiss me" James' voice was raspy. He wasn't fully awake, but he wanted that kiss. Sirius didn't seem to mind, he made his way over to the bed. James stretched out his neck, capturing Sirius in a heated makeout session. 

All of the movement had Remus waking up. It was truly an amazing thing to wake up to. Two of his lovers kissed passionately on top of him. "I'm not interrupting", he rasped out, his voice even deeper than normal. James felt it in his fucking stomach. He turned and attacked Remus' sleepy face. 

The atmosphere around them was electric, charged with their unspoken connection, a moment suspended in time as they shared this intimate space.

"Someone's eager", Sirius commented as James was now fully sitting on Remus' hips. The sheets were messily wrapped around them. James was grinding, his fingers were tangled in Remus' hair. There was a little moan that didn't go unnoticed. "Shh, my good baby", Sirius sat down next to them. He reached out to James' hair and tugged. He pulled James away from Remus' face. "What do you want, darling? What do you need?" Sirius got close and bit on James' earlobe. 

"You," James gasped, his breath coming in ragged bursts as he leaned heavily against Remus. His palm pressed firmly against Remus' chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath his fingers. "Need you." 

"I'm going to need more specifics, Jamie," Sirius urged, a hint of urgency lacing his voice. He knelt beside James and tugged on his hair again. His towel nearly slipped loose, revealing a glimpse of his skin. "You can do it, baby boy," he encouraged, a playful smirk dancing on his lips.

James moved his hips down harder, he could feel Remus against him. "Make me yours", he whinied ", make love to me." 

That made Remus throw his head back. He asked James for safewords, he needed to be sure that James was in the right headspace. To his relief, James answered, gave explanations and stated that he was green, so green. Remus reached out and hooked his hand around James' neck. He brought their faces together. Remus kissed him, bit on his bottom lip. He felt James' hands on his shoulders, holding him close. When they pulled away, James whined, "Jamie, just a second" Remus chuckled. 

James jumped on his legs, pushing on Remus' hard cock. As if trying to get him to move faster. He reached out for Sirius, pulling him into another kiss. Remus watched as his boys moved against one another. His heart was filled with love. He couldn't look away, he wanted this. All of this. The good and the bad. James was tugging on Sirius' towel, he pulled away and watched the fabric reveal Sirius' hard dick. 

Remus reached out and touched it. He wanted to feel it in his hand. "Fuck" Sirius whimpered against James' neck. "So fucking good." James joined Remus' hand and they both moved against Sirius. It felt a little dry even tho Sirius was dripping with precum. 

"Jamie", Remus spoke up and got James' attention. "Spit." James did what he was told. He bent down and spat on Sirius dick. Remus watched it slide and moved his wrist to catch it. Sirius moaned and thrusted his hips up. The angle was somewhat unusual, and Remus felt a tug in his back. However, that didn't matter much. Sirius appeared to be enjoying himself while James was captivated, his eyes fixed on the scene before him. "My star, come for us." Remus encouraged. He moved his hand in a specific way that always got Sirius to spill. And he did. Fast.  

"Love you," Sirius breathed out, his chest rising and falling rapidly, a mixture of emotion in his eyes. He leaned in, pressing his lips softly against Remus', savouring the warmth and familiarity of their connection. After the kiss, he tilted his head slightly, resting his forehead against James' shoulder, seeking comfort in his embrace. "Love you both," he whispered. For a brief moment, Sirius allowed himself to be enveloped in the moment, feeling James wrap his arms securely around him. Once he felt good, a playful smirk spread across his lips, mischief flickering in his gaze as he turned his attention to James. "Now your turn, darling," he teased, reaching out with an inviting hand, ready to share the affection that bonded them all together.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 22: I’m a Dog Person

Summary:

Sirius Orion Black is a dog person.

Notes:

This one is fluffy <3

Remus watched as the two of them moved away from him. Sirius undressed James' remaining clothing and gently touched his overheated body. Remus undressed himself and rested on the pillows. His eyes were watching as Sirius instructed James to rest against the bed. He watched the very well-done prep. His dick was painfully hard as James looked up at him. His brown eyes so beautifully begging. When Sirius covered his fingers in a generous amount of lube, James' mouth opened, and he pushed back against those probing fingers. "Please, Sir", his voice pleading. "I need you."

"Come here, baby." Remus looked up and made eye contact with Sirius. With a quick check-in, James was ready. "Lie down for me, on your back", Remus wanted to see James' face. He poisoned himself between James' legs. Sirius cuddled up to James' right side. He slid one of his hands down James' arm and intertwined their fingers. Remus poured lube on his cock and made sure it was all nicely covered. "We can stop at any time", James nodded. Remus bit his lip and pushed his hips forward. 

"Take a deep breath," Sirius coached him. "He's so big, and it's so nice," Sirius said as Remus pushed in. He was holding back so much because hurting James was the last thing he wanted to do, ever. So he moved extremely carefully. There was a bit of struggle on James' side, and Remus hovered over him waiting for a green light. Sirius moved his head closer and kissed all over James' skin. He offered some much-needed reassurance, "Whatever you're ready, baby." 

"Okay", James nodded and rasped out. The air was filled with the smell of sex and love. When James looked up into Remus' eyes, his body moved independently. James relaxed, his body accepting Remus fully. "This feels so" James was cut off by an unexpected moan "fucking good." His breathing was choppy, but he smiled. He could feel him so deeply, his body moulded to accommodate his lover. James squeezed Sirius' hand, and he turned his head to the side and met him in a heated kiss. 

Remus uttered under his breath, "A little more, baby boy" he was holding back. The idea of pounding into James' body was tempting, the image vivid in his mind. Just a little more. He demanded patience from his boys, he had to set a good example. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, his hair was starting to stick to it. The arm he put over James' head was shaking with his effort. Inch by inch his dick disappeared inside of James. 

Sirius bit his bottom lip as James moaned into their kiss. He smiled and wrapped his arm around James' head. "Our good boy", Sirius whispered against those sinful lips. James whined and pushed his hips down, meeting Remus halfway. This caused Remus to bottom out. James' eyes went wide, and his breaths a little ragged. "Shh, Jamie", Sirius mumbled and pulled on James' hair; he knew that James enjoyed it. 

Remus was taking deep breaths, trying not to spill right then and there. "My loves", Remus rasped out, his deep voice hitting James even harder. "Need to move, Jamie." He was fighting with every ounce of self-control he possessed. James turned back to Remus, lifted his legs and wrapped them around Remus' hips. This caused a loud moan out of him. Remus leaned down and kissed him. "I love you" his slick forehead rested against James' shoulder. 

"I love you", Sirius whispered, still close. His hand never let go of James'.  

The room was echoing with the sound of skin hitting skin. James threw his head back, enjoying the sensation of Remus pounding into him. His body got tense again, the approaching orgasm making him lose himself a little. His empty hand moved to Remus' back. He scraped his short nails against that lovely, scared skin. "I love you", he breathed out. He felt Remus' body move faster, he tightened his grip on him. "I love you", he said again, this time louder.

He held eye contact with Remus. "Fuck" his voice came out breathy "I'm close, baby." Remus was shaking, his body searching for that longed-for realise. 

James watched him with desire, he moved with him. Pushing back with each snap of Remus' hips. "Can I come, Sir?" James asked, which seemed to activate something deep inside Remus. "Please, Sir." James' own dick was moving against them, smashed between their bodies. James moved up and smashed their lips together. It was messy, and more teeth than James anticipated. Still, it was just so perfect. "For you," he whispered against Remus' ear. They melted into one, "I'm yours."

Remus huffed out air and moved up a little, angling himself better. James screamed when long, pale, elegant fingers wrapped around his shaft. "I got you, baby boy", Sirius whispered as his hand jerked him off. 

"Do it with me", Remus demanded. His moves were frantic. He was pulling out and smashing himself back into James' inviting hole. He was mesmerised by the big and muscular James Potter spread out before him. Begging him for permission to finish. "Now, Jamie", Remus ordered. James was panting as his hips lifted off the bed. Remus screamed when James orgasmed. His body spasmed, trapping Remus inside. A few more thrusts, and he followed James' lead. 

The two of them crumbled against each other. "That was so fucking hot" Sirius commented from his cosy spot under Remus' collapsed arm.

---

Days have passed, and Remus and Sirius have stayed at James' house. Each time someone even mentioned leaving for the flat, a reason to stay was found. 

Sometimes James' big, brown pleading eyes were enough to convince the other two to come back after a few hours of being apart. There was also the conversation about James having intense nightmares when he slept alone. So it was settled that until James fully recovered, Remus and Sirius would stay put.  

James has been going to the PAG again, work has been flowing. He generally felt so much better. So when James had the house to himself, it felt nice, not empty. Remus went to work, and Sirius came back to the flat so he could finish his latest painting (and also grab more of their stuff to bring to James'). They were both supposed to come back for dinner later. 

He was about to sit on his couch, maybe reply to emails, and watch a TV show to numb his brain a little, after he was done.  

James was just picking up his laptop when someone rang his doorbell. He stood up to check, maybe his neighbour got a package sent to his house again. This couldn't be further from the truth. When he opened the door, he was faced with a very distressed-looking Pandora. 

"Jamie, thank fuck", she said, her long curls bouncing as she pushed into his house. 

James was confused "What's going on?" he asked. "Is everything alright? Did something happen to Lily?" his mind immediately went to the darkest of places.

"Look", Pandora lifted her hands, and James saw what she was holding. "I found this little guy in a dumpster behind Tesco."  

There it was, a tiny shaking kitten. He looked rough; one of his ears seemed severely damaged. He fit in one of Pandora's palms, he must have been malnourished. But his big shiny green eyes looked back at James with so much curiosity. His fur was mostly black, but he had little white socks on his feet. There was also a little patch of white around his mouth, and of course, at the end of his tail. 

Pandora showed him into James' hands. The kitty went willingly, not that he had much choice, but he seemed pretty happy with James' presents. James smiled down and gently stroked his little nose. Then he shook his head and looked up at his friend, "Panda, what are you planning on doing with him?" 

"We need to take him to the vet first", she was already grabbing James' keys. "I will drive" James wanted to argue about his involvement in the whole operation, but the state of the little guy seemed critical. "I don't have a car, since Lily is at a business meeting, I can't interrupt it." James walked behind her as she moved away from him. "I tried, but she always puts her phone on Do Not Disturb." Lily was always the more responsible one out of the two. 

James slid into the passenger seat of his car. They tried to switch again, but little kitty decided to scream and cry when James pulled him away from his chest. So now he was petting his little ears in an attempt to calm him down again. "And then what?" James asked, mesmerised by how small that creature was. 

"I would love to keep him" Pandora took a very sharp turn; there was a reason why her wife was always the designated driver. "But Luna is not great with sharing her space, especially with male cats." There was a sigh at the end of that sentence. "She's amazing with humans, but other animals make her ..." Pandora had to abruptly stop. James pulled the cat closer to his body, shielding it from any harm, "aggressive."  

The rest of the drive was interesting. James was really happy about the fact that his place was surprisingly close to the vet's office. The little guy fell asleep on his arm. He must have been exhausted after all of these intense emotions. The lady at the front desk asked a few questions, "Who's the owner? I'm gonna need an ID to admit the patient." 

Pandora leaned over the counter, and before James could say anything, "James Fleamont Potter," she said. Her head turned to him, and she bit her lip. Her eyes pleaded. 

James was taken aback; this was not planned. He never had a pet; his father owned fish, but James didn't have much to do with them. Also, there's a big difference between cats and fish. The answer should be no, James couldn't keep the cat. That's why he took out his wallet and gave his ID to the lady behind the counter. "Here", his voice sounded in the empty waiting room. 

Pandora jumped next to him "The cat distribution system chose you today!" she did a little twirl. 

"No, you gave me this cat" James lifted his hand, showing the sleeping animal. "He didn't exactly choose me himself." This was ridiculous. What has he done? James just became a cat owner. He smiled dubiously at the whole situation. 

Pandora was about to say something, but the lady interrupted her. "What's the name?" she asked. "Of the patient." She clarified, seeing James' confused expression. 

James looked at the cat, then back at the woman before him. Then down again. His eyes fell onto a paper magazine that was displayed as a light read on one of the small tables. "Harry", James said, "His name is Harry." There was a photo in the news gossip about Prince Harry and his scandalous life. Pandora snorted next to him but didn't comment. 

They spent some time at the clinic, but in the end, everything turned out okay. Although James almost cried when little Harry got a medicine shot. Now, James sat spread out on his carpet with an insane amount of cat toys around him. There was a cat bed, twice as big as his actual cat, a litter box and enough food to last him for a month. James and Pandora should not be allowed back into a pet store ever again. 

Lily called asking about the 'emergency' and came to pick up her wife, leaving James alone with his new companion. 

Hours passed, and James didn't do much besides watch Harry. The vet pointed out some health concerns, so James will have to go to the clinic again in the upcoming weeks. James hovered over Harry, making sure that nothing bad happened to him, a true cat dad. 

He was curious about his partners reaction to the new addition. So when he heard the car outside, he jumped to his feet and grabbed Harry with him. They entered, and James put on a whole show of introducing little Harry to them, explaining how he got there. 

Remus was delighted; he immediately grabbed Harry, and James could swear that his heart had just grown five sizes. Something about a grown man holding a tiny injured kitten. Remus happily held onto Harry as they sat down to have dinner. 

Sirius, however, didn't have the same enthusiasm. "I have always been more of a dog person," he said. James admitted to liking both, or even all of the animals. Remus was too occupied by Harry, who chesed a little piece of tin foil (James had no idea where the cat found it) to answer the prompt. For the rest of the meal, Sirius kind of kept his distance and eyed the little guy suspiciously. 

They sat down on James' couch to wind down for the evening. Sirius talked about his newest piece, explaining how he found new inspiration for it. James wondered if he was referring to a certain love confession. Sirius was about to reveal what theme his next collection would be when his hands flew up, as if he had burned himself on a cup of tea that was too hot to hold.  

Little Harry jumped onto his knee and looked straight at him. He gently bumped his little head against one of Sirius' palms. Sirius' fingers came down to pet the soft fur. He looked stiff, but the cat didn't mind and began to purr. “What is it doing?” Sirius asked as Harry blissfully nestled against his legs. 

James chucked “He’s purring.” He found it very amusing.  

Very slowly, Sirius started to pet the cat. “Why?” Sirius' voice seemed surprised. 

“Because he likes you”, James supplied from his spot on the floor. He was picking up all of the cat toys and decided to just sit on the carpet. He couldn't believe that the bad and scary Sirius Orion Balck was so intimidated by a tiny, malnourished kitty cat. 

Remus reached out to scratch Harry's little head. The kitty appreciated the attention but didn't move from his spot on Sirius' legs. “You’re his favourite”, Remus commented. He slid closer and wrapped one of his arms around his husband. 

“I don’t want to be his favourite.” Sirius huffed out. 

“Okay”, James said, and reached out his hands. “Then give him back.” He flexed his fingers, making a grabby motion. James moved his head to the right, his eyes trailed from Sirius to Remus, who was watching the exchange with a small smile. 

“No", Sirius said a bit too fast. His hands came down almost protectively. James laughed and shifted closer to the couch. "I mean, he can sit here if that's what he wants. I don't care." Sirius looked down at his lap, where James pressed his nose against little Harry. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

EVERYONE GETS A CAT <3333

I'm such a cat lady, I love them so much.

Chapter 23: Let Go For a Minute

Summary:

Sirius makes a phone call, Remus has a flare-up, James takes care of him.

Notes:

This one is more focused on James and Remus and their relationship with each other.

There's also some Black brothers' banter.

 

So, as you can see, the number of chapters changed to 50. I would like the story to come to a nice end at some point, and I managed to plan out 50 chapters. (Not all of them are written, so the number might change slightly.)

But don't be alarmed, I already have ideas for future fics with our favourite trio - when I finish this one, another one will start.

Sirius called his brother as he busied himself around the kitchen. Harry the kitty was, of course, following him like a shadow. 

"You are not listening, Reg", Sirius said into the phone "he's everywhere I go." 

His brother laughed on the other end of the phone, "Welcome to being a cat owner, dear brother. You will never piss alone again." Sirius sat down on the couch and enjoyed his morning coffee, little Harry claimed his lap as always. He looked much better now; his ear was still damaged, but he had gained a little weight, which was a good sign. 

"They are supposed to be more independent, right?" he looked down and stroked Harry's soft black fur. 

Reggie chucked, "It depends on the cat" he heard some movement "Bat is sitting in my lap as we speak, but heaven forbid anybody tries to pick her up." Regulus was a proud cat owner, he had three cats. Would probably get more if it wasn't for Evan's rule of 'animals will not outnumber us. ' Reg had to agree with him. So, for now, it was Ophelia (Reg's precious baby girl), Morana (Evan's favourite little menace) and Bat (yes, she's a girl, Barty just wanted a cat named Bat). 

"Barty is so good with names", Sirius remarked. He liked the kid. He liked both of Regulus' boyfriends. "Are you sure you don't want Harry? He would fit right in with you and your tiny cat zoo."

"And you would give him up, huh?" Reg commented. Sirius had been making these remarks for some time now. His hand moved to Harry's little pink nose as the kitty nuzzled into his palm, and he was falling asleep again. Sirius held his little head up. "It can be scary when they just trust you like that," Regulus said, his voice soft. "I know it was for me."

Sirius knew exactly what he was talking about. "What am I supposed to do with him? You know." He tucked little Harry close to himself, almost protectively. "What if I fuck this up." 

"First of all, it's a cat," Reg said to him in that menacing tone. "Just pet him, give him food, clean the litter box." 

Sirius scrunched up his nose "James cleans the litter box." He said and looked up the stairs. His two loves were still asleep, with Sirius being the first one to wake. 

"My point is ..." Regulus cut him off ", you will not traumatise Harry." Sirius looked down at the small animal curled on his legs. He knew it was ridiculous to believe that he - Sirius Orion Black - was such a bad person that he would inflict abuse on a small creature. That was a part of the reason why he and Remus never got a pet. It was such a dream for Sirius to be a dog owner, but he held himself back. "You are not her Siri", Reg spoke to him softly.  

"I know", his own voice betrayed him. He knew that his childhood was fucked up. He knew that children were never going to happen for him and Remus (both of them decided on that a long time ago and were happy with the decision to remain child-free). So who would have thought that a cat would awaken those same thoughts in Sirius? His head could do that sometimes, twist his mind in so many ways, tell him that he's just like her.  

"Besides, you have Mister Sunshine himself on your side, he will help you not fuck things up", Regulus noted. "Now I request another photo of the kitty." 

Sirius rolled his eyes but sent a string of photos to his eager younger brother. 

---

Remus knew that this was going to happen sooner or later. His body gave out on him. Again. All of the stress of recent situations weighed heavily on his body. 

He woke up and felt the overwhelming wave of pain hit him. Sirius was gone; he had to be at the gallery today. James went on his morning run. That left Remus alone until his alarm blared through the room. He reached out for his phone and already opened his contacts. He texted Mary that he would not be able to go to work today. She shot him a quick don't worry about it message. Remus also texted Sirius. After he let his head fall back into James' expansive sheets. There was a blanket that James must have put on top of him when he left. 

Remus was usually pretty cold, so when one (or two) of his boys weren't there to provide heat, he had to be covered in multiple layers. 

Little Harry noticed that Remus moved, so he happily cuddled closer to his face, "Padfoot is gone, now you wanna cuddle with me." Remus whispered but gladly accepted the affection. He took a deep breath when a sharp pain shot from his leg up his spine. He would have to move soon and get meds. But the idea of standing up was making him almost cry. 

His cane was downstairs, near the entrance. He was using it yesterday. The sun was peeking through the curtains, and Harry decided to get on top of him and provide a little bit of comfort. Sure, the kitty was tiny, but Remus liked the warm feeling his little body produced. He was mentally preparing to move when he heard the door open. 

James burst into the room, his skin glistening with sweat after his run. He paused when he saw Remus curled up under the thick blankets, looking pale and tired. “Hey, Moons,” he greeted, his voice warm and familiar. “I thought you had work today?”

“I cancelled,” Remus replied, his voice a raspy whisper that barely broke the silence in the dimly lit room. “I just can’t face it today.” Another wave of sorrow hit him as he tried to turn around and face James. He let out a little groan of pain, unable to keep it in. 

James made a concerned face, his heart sinking at the sight of Remus looking so unwell. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his worry palpable.

Remus let out a weary sigh, feeling the heaviness of fatigue settle in. “Just having a flare-up,” he admitted. Though he wanted to share his struggle, the thought of talking seemed overwhelming. This was the first time he felt this badly since they started dating, and he wasn’t used to being vulnerable in front of James. In the past, he had faced challenging days, but now, with James there, everything felt different.

"Is there something I can do to make you feel a little better?" James asked, his fingers gently stroking through Remus’s tangled hair, hoping to offer some comfort. “Maybe we should call Sirius? He might know what to do.”

Remus shook his head. "I texted him earlier. This is not our first time, James, and he needs to stay at work." He knew he was being short with James, but he just didn't want his bad mood to spill onto him. He felt those lovely fingers stroke over his hair as he took another deep breath. James waited patiently for Remus' response. "You could bring my meds; I put them into the cupboard you cleaned up for us." James leaned down, pressing a soft, tender kiss against Remus’ forehead, his touch lingering just a moment longer.

“You feel a bit warm,” he murmured, his brow furrowing in concern as he pulled away. “I’ll be right back; just hang tight.” With that, he dashed into the bathroom, determination in his stride as he set out to help the person he loved. 

Remus sat up in the bed, resting his sore body against the pillows. He tried to stretch his back out just a little, but it ended up worse than before. "Shit" he muttered under his breath. 

James came back with Remus' meds and a glass filled with tap water, "Here we go, babe" he grabbed a pillow and propped it up so Remus could rest on it. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched Remus pick out his pills, a lot of pills. He didn't comment on it, he knew that Remus had a lot of health concerns. "Are you hungry?" Remus shook his head again, and James dropped the topic for now. He knew how difficult it could be to eat when someone is not feeling their best. But he also knew that food was fuel for the body, so in the next few hours, he would be bringing the issue up again.

"Will you go to the PAG today?" Remus finished the glass of water and put it on the nightstand. 

James shook his head, "No, I could, but I don't have to." He answered truthfully. His hand found Remus' wrist, and he stroked his soft skin. James didn't want to leave Remus all alone. He saw that his boyfriend was about to protest, so he cut him off with another question. "What would you say to a relaxing bath? I have some Epsom salts that work wonders on sore muscles." 

Remus cast his gaze downward, his brow furrowed in thought. The weight of uncertainty pressed heavily on his shoulders. He knew that reaching out for help could make all the difference in the world, but doubts swirled in his mind like autumn leaves caught in a gust of wind. But James just sat there looking at him with those big brown eyes. He searched for doubt, for disgust - he found nothing of that sort. 

He nodded, and James smiled widely. Fifteen minutes later, Remus was sinking into James' tub, his body immediately relaxing in the warm water. James was supporting him and slid onto the water as well. He sat back and let Remus rest in his arms. This was so amazing, Remus hadn't had that with others before (of course, Sirius was very attentive to him), but something about James' gentle touches made his heart go a little faster. How did he get so lucky? He got not one but two people who cared about him so deeply. 

James washed his body, ran his fingers down his sore back. Remus pushed forward, and his joints creaked. He let out a little moan of relief. The medication started working, and he was finally able to take a breath. He moved back and rested his head on James' shoulder. "Thank you", he whispered. 

James shushed him and kissed the side of his head, wanting to provide a lot of comfort to his distressed partner. "You took care of me when I was down", James spoke very softly. "Let me take care of you now." His fingers glossed over Remus' stomach, it was very innocent, yet the light touch made him shiver. 

"You just wanted to see me naked, huh?" Remus joked, his mood lightening slightly. He could feel his effect on James, as James' semi-hard was pressing into his lower back. 

James rolled his eyes and kissed his ear "Sure, Moons", James said as his hands tightened at Remus' sides. They had an amazing night yesterday. James had been so happy to fall back into their previous dynamic. He knew that what had happened with his panic attack could completely change them, but Sirius and Remus were still interested in the rougher BDSM stuff. 

They had several more conversations and even called Lily once for some professional advice, but overall, it was heading in a great direction. 

Remus sank deeper into the warm water "I'm not up for much," he whispered, the fatigue weighed heavily on his body, leaving him in a state of exhaustion.

James chuckled softly, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in closer. With a gentle bite, he nipped at the tender skin of Remus's neck, leaving a playful mark that would surely turn into a bruise. "That's understandable," he murmured, his lips following the path of the bite, kissing over the sensitive area with tender affection. "We can just chill in the bath until you're ready to move," James offered, his voice soothing and warm.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 24: Nothing Special

Summary:

Friends gather together, and alcohol flows. Sirius makes a comment, James becomes insecure, and Remus has to deal with the aftermath.

Notes:

What a beautiful fluff, it would be a shame if someone ruined it.

James has finally pulled off a "Meet My Boyfriends" dinner party, even though every guest had already met them before. But that’s beside the point, isn’t it? He had been anxiously preparing for this evening for weeks, obsessing over every detail to ensure that the atmosphere was just right. From the carefully curated menu to the soft candlelight illuminating the dining room, he wanted everything to be flawless as he welcomed his family and friends into his home.

In the end, it ended up being more of a party than a dinner, but no one was complaining. 

There was music playing softly in the background. Lily and Mary (Remus' boss) stood in the kitchen, immersed in a conversation with Remus. In that moment, Lily was the happiest woman alive because she found two people who shared her passion for obscure literature. Barty, Evan and Regulus (who James insisted be included) had been trying to explain their tattoos to Pandora, who, bless her soul, looked a little scared to be surrounded by them, but still tried to be engaging. Sirius and Marlene had gotten into a heated discussion about some reality show James had no idea about.  

James' parents left maybe an hour ago, but they also enjoyed the company. His ma even commented on all of them looking cute together. This evening made James' heart feel warm and fuzzy. 

He walked past the open terrace door, and Marlene's voice cut through the song currently playing. "I'm telling you, you're not listening," she sounded humorous. "James was ..." Sirius cut Marlene off. 

"No, you're not listening, Marls," Sirius answered. James stood by the open glass door, eavesdropping. He shouldn't do that, but curiosity won over his critical thinking skills. They mentioned him, so James had the right to know. "Threesomes are fun; if you find the right people, you can be no-strings attached." James felt a pang of something in his chest; he looked up and saw Remus laughing with his friends. There had to be some strings, right? 

He heard Marlene giggle, "That's so mean, tho." She was already a little buzzed. Marlene and Sirius polished a whole bottle of vodka between them. James himself had a few glasses of wine. Alcohol was definitely flowing. 

"It's the truth", Sirius said, his voice echoing in James' head. This was not something he was ready to hear tonight. "Don't expect too much, Marls and your feelings won't get hurt." James was trying to come back to himself. "It's nothing special." He heard the humour in Sirius' voice, "Can be your dirty little secret. I got bored a long time ago. "

dirty little secret

Those words cut deeper than he had anticipated. James took a shaky step back, as if trying to create distance from the pain that pierced his heart. How could he have been so naive? How could he possibly think that this couple, who had shared years of love and commitment, would hold any concern for him? He had once again fallen into the trap of developing feelings, a familiar mistake that haunted him.

nothing special 

He shook his head a little, trying not to let his expression change. Act natural. So he would suck it up and pretend that Sirius' cutting words had no effect on him, even as they echoed painfully in his mind. He immersed himself in a long conversation about Barty's recent client, trying to drown the annoying nagging voice in his head. 

Everyone got out of his house one by one, with Marlene being the last one to leave. She and Sirius had been glued by the hip. Remus was watching him, of course, he noticed that there was a sudden change in his behaviour. Sirius, however, seemed oblivious. Music played, dishes piled up, and James' anger brewed under his skin. "Everything alright, Prongs?" Remus finally asked. 

"Peachy", he answered. James didn't want to talk about it. Becouse what if it was real, what if all of his darkest scenarios come true? What if these blissful moments meant nothing?

Sirius dumped another lode of dirty plates into the sink. "Peachy, my ass," he sounded amused "What is it? You don't have to keep it to yourself," he asked, turning on his heel to face James. One of his hands came up and tangled in James' shirt. He had that mischievous glint in his eyes, but James couldn't get Sirius' previous words out of his head. 

James looked at Sirius and said, "Nothing special." His voice was harsh, even cold. He took a step back, creating distance between them. Remus stood by the kitchen island, observing the exchange. He knew that at some point in time, these two would find themselves in this exact position. He decided to sit this one out and only interfere if absolutely necessary. 

"Okay, what the hell, James?" Sirius shot him a confused look, his expression more bewildered than angry. "You don't have to talk to me like that..."

James interrupted, "Yeah, I wouldn't want to bore you." He glanced into Sirius's stormy eyes, feeling a surge of anger. His quick temper flared. "Why do you even care, huh?" James felt triggered and insecure.

"Why do I care?" Sirius was furious, his face turning red. "I care because I love you, even when you act like an ass." James sometimes forgot how much of a hothead he was. 

James let out a mean chuckle. "Right," he said, standing firm and refusing to let Sirius's anger rattle him. "Maybe I'm your dirty little secret? You know, the no-strings-attached type?" His tone was calm, contrasting with Sirius, who was much louder at that moment. "Maybe I finally saw your true motive? The fun we all have together should be enough." This one was pointed to hurt. James was aware of that, but he said it anyway. 

Sirius was shaking with all the anger running through him; he had prided himself on being honest. After all, his childhood was filled with lies and foul half-truths. "Don't even go there, James." He said through his teeth. 

"Why? Huh, I'm right, am I?" James was looking at him, his nostrils moving with his fast breaths. "I uncovered your dirty little secret, and it pisses you off" James was all tense, like a cat geting ready to atac a small mouse. His chest puffed out, his muscles on display. 

Sirius pushed against James' chest. He was not a small mouse. Right now, he looked more like an angry dog. "What the fuck?" he sounded hurt. "You’re acting just like him, just like our ex, Peter. He got obsessed with accusing me of manipulation." James froze for a moment, his mind racing. It was the first time he had heard Peter’s name mentioned. "Maybe you and he are more similar than I thought." Sirius was talking, "Are you going to run to my family and ask for a grand prize? Will you tell them where I'm hiding?" Sirius got louder with every word. 

"Sirius", Remus decided it was an appropriate time to step up. 

"Don't fucking Sirius me right now" Sirius shot back feeling betrayed. "Is it about the money? I'm sure she promised a big sum." 

James felt a wave of shock wash over him, yet he wasn’t quite ready to let this moment slip away. “I couldn't care less about your money,” he declared, shaking his head in disbelief, his voice steady but strained. “I have more than enough.” A deep ache settled in his chest at the implication that his intentions were anything less than pure. Then, like a sudden flash of insight, it struck him, he had made assumptions. His own insecurities and past wounds had ignited this entire debacle. He heard a snippet of a conversation and built a whole case against his boyfriend.  

Sirius stood his ground, a storm brewing in his grey eyes. “You or your parents,” he retorted, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. “Daddy's money is running out, so you had to get creative.” The intensity of his anger felt like heat waves, palpable and suffocating.

“I have always been honest and forever grateful to my parents,” James shot back, feeling the tide of the argument turning against him. His instinct to fight back surged within him, urging him to strike where it would most hurt, but deep down, he understood that this wasn’t what truly mattered. Winning the argument was insignificant compared to finding common ground. “Sirius, I’m sorry,” he said, a wave of humility washing over him as he recognised his misstep in all of this. “I need to take a step back before I say something I regret.”

“Oh, so you’re just going to run away?” Sirius yelled, his voice echoing in the charged atmosphere. “Don’t be a coward, Potter!”
 
"I'm so sorry," James murmured again, his voice heavy with regret as he walked away from the kitchen, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I overheard you say that threesomes are nothing special, and I let my emotions get the better of me." He glanced back, his heart aching, "I feel that our connection will always be less than what you have with Remus. I feel like I will never be as important to you." With a resolve to contain his tears, he made himself a silent promise to cry less, though today proved too challenging to uphold. His eyes found Remus, and he was met with a set of very sad-looking green eyes. "I worry that one day you both will discover someone who embodies everything I can't be, or that you'll realise you simply don’t need me at all." Overwhelmed by emotion, he brushed past them and fled upstairs, seeking solace in his bathroom, eager to hide from the turmoil swirling in his heart. 

---

James leaned heavily against the cool, tiled surface of his bathroom counter, his hands trembling slightly as he struggled to steady himself. He took off his glasses and splashed some cold water on his face. It didn't help much, he still felt like shit. His breaths came in rapid, shallow gasps, the air feeling thicker with each inhale. Suddenly, a small crack echoed, and the bathroom door opened.

James looked up, and his eyes met Remus' in the mirror. 

“Are you okay?” Remus’s voice rang in his ears. Music was coming from downstairs, but it was not loud enough for James to guess what was playing. Neither of them had time to turn it off. Funny if it wasn't for the circumstances. 

James was staring back “Yeah”, he said. It wasn’t convincing. “Are you going to leave now?” he asked. After the fight, he was hit with the reality of the situation. Remus and Sirius had been together for years; of course, they would stick by each other. He was fully prepared to be alone for the rest of the night. Maybe the rest of the week if Sirius was stubborn.

Remus took a step, and James watched him in the mirror. The door closed behind him, and the room fell silent “Why would I do that?” his eyes bored into James.

“Do you need me to reenact the fight?” James’ voice came out harsher than he anticipated. He was still on edge. His mind was filled with the darkest of outcomes. Sure, they had some small disagreements in the past, but nothing to this extent. What if Sirius can't move past it?

Remus slowly approached him. “I was there, silly boy,” he said, his green eyes never leaving James. “Do you seriously think a little fight is enough for me to leave you?”

James’ breath came out faster, “What about your husband?” he said in a small voice. The bathroom seemed suffocating.

“What about him?” Remus answered with a question. His body slid behind James, his hands resting on his hips. “He needs to calm down, that’s all.” His breath tickled James’ neck. James’ head was spinning, he didn’t expect this to happen. "He looks all big and scary, but he's heart is very sensitive. "

“Remus”, he whined, all of the stress slipping away. He pushed back, craving the comfort of Remus' body. “I thought you would leave,” James admitted softly.

Remus kissed behind his ear “Baby, I need you to understand something”, he whispered directly into James’ ear. “I love you,” his fingers squeezed James’ hips, pulling him close “, not more, not less than Sirius.” His lips slid on James' skin as he uttered, "And he loves you too."

"I would accept it", James said. His voice was breaking a little. "If you two left tonight." James cleared his throat. 

Remus wrapped his arms around him, and he rested his face in the crook of James' neck "Sweetheart, it's not me and him against you," his deep voice soothing James' inner storm. "Now take a deep breath for me." James didn't even realise that he was holding his breath. They stayed like this for a few minutes, just breathing, swaying from side to side.

A knock interrupted their moment, causing James to tense up. Sirius stood at the bathroom entrance, looking like a lost puppy dog. "Can we talk?" 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Peter the ex. Who saw it coming?

Chapter 25: I Want to Feel You Get Hard

Summary:

James needs to be a good boy again.

Notes:

You see the title - you know what to expect.

Plus some backstory about Sirius and Remus and Peter - the (relationship) traitor.

They moved away from the bathroom and sat down on James’ bed. Little Harry got disturbed from his slumber and immediately crawled up Sirius’ lap. He had been staying in the bedroom throughout the party to prevent him from getting scared and overwhelmed by many strangers. Regulus managed to sneak in to see him, tho. 

James felt a little heavy on his heart. He spoke out first, “I’m sorry for provoking you” he looked up, searching for Sirius’ eyes. He was ready to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. "It was a stupid thing to do," He was also a little dramatic about it. But he never claimed to be anything but that. 

“I’m not so innocent either,” Sirius said, giving James a little smile. "I’m aware that dating a married couple comes with challenges.” After he had a minute to calm down, his rational side took over, he wasn't mad anymore. 

James nodded, “Yeah”, his voice came out small. He didn’t want to face the hardships and his insecurities. He also didn't want them to think that he had any doubts about being in a relationship with them. 

Remus, who was sitting behind him, reached out and ran a hand down James' back. “It’s important to share your thoughts, Prongs.” He spoke to James as if he were about to run away again. His touch was grounding and reassuring. “This will only work out if we communicate with each other.”

James nodded and took a deep breath. “I know, but it’s hard.” He said after a long pause.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Sirius said. "We know what happens when communication fails.” He reached out and tilted James’ chin up. “We are not mad at you, and we are always open to your thoughts and feelings, darling.” They were looking into each other's eyes. 

The nickname made James’ heart melt a little. “I would like … ” he cleared his throat “, I would like to maybe spend some one-on-one time with you two.”

Sirius nodded and encouraged him to continue “Like dates?” he asked.

James blushed and nodded, “My ma sent me this article about non-monogamy and how it can be really beneficial to build intimacy between each other rather than always being a group of three.” He was rambling a little, “I mean, I love hanging out with both of you, and I don’t mean to never see you two together, and you don’t have to agree to this …”

“Hey baby”, Remus squeezed his sides gently “I get it, me and Sirius have exclusive time all the time” he ran his fingers through James’ curls. “It’s okay to ask for things, and I would love to go on a date with you.” 

Sirius nodded, “Yes, me too,” he smiled and moved closer to James’ face. He pecked his lips gently. “For the record, I don’t think you and Peter are similar, and I don’t think that you want my money.” 

James kissed him back, feeling better about this whole situation. Remus ran his fingers over James’ chest. Sirius kissed more forcefully, “You are not a traitor.” Remus whispered into his ear.

“Traitor?” James' breathing got a little faster when Sirius pulled away. His first instinct was to chase after those wonderful lips. 

Remus looked up at Sirius and continued after he got a nod, “There was a whole thing with Sirius’ family getting involved.” Remus spoke as his arms wrapped around James “Our ex was contacted by them and offered a big sum in exchange for information about Sirius’ whereabouts. Since we were basically hiding from them and the only other person who knew where we were was my mam.” He was rocking them side to side, his eyes focused on Sirius ", and she hates them more than I do."

James' eyes went wide as he looked up at Sirius “ It came out pretty quickly that it was Peter who did it. He broke our trust, he chose money over our love” his beautiful eyes were misty. "He later confessed that he felt like we didn’t treat him equally, he felt left out of the relationship”, Sirius said. 

Remus hummed, “And that was partly true” he held James close. “We were new to this dynamic and definitely made many mistakes.” They had some problems with unequal treatment in the past. Mostly due to both of them being a little insecure. But Peter didn't give them time and grace to work on those issues; he never spoke out about things that bothered him, and he let everything brew under his skin until the pain was too much to handle. 

“Yeah, but what he did was afoul”, James said, feeling extremely protective of his boyfriends. "I can't believe he turned to your family."

“It was a shit show." Sirius reached for James’ face and stroked his cheeks. “We could address all of the issues if he spoke up about it, but there was no coming back from the betrayal.” He let out a sigh "My family saw that I cared about him, that he was close to me, and they took a chance." Sirius was utterly heartbroken at the time; he convinced himself that Remus was the only person he could truly trust. "He tried to keep it a secret first but it ended up biting him in the ass. During that time, he obsessively called me a manipulator and accused me of lying." 

James kissed the inside of Sirius’ wrist. “I promise to try and speak up about my feelings”, he was determined to make things right again.

Sirius pulled him into a heated kiss. James felt the atmosphere shift, from emotionally charged to sexually charged. Sirius noticed that too and smirked against his mouth. "What am I going to do with you, baby boy?" He spoke softly, his lips brushing against James' skin. 

"I can make it up to you, I will do anything," James answered, his mind filled with many possible outcomes. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted to be a good boy again. "Please, Sirius."

Sirius smirked, "Anything?" he reached out to unbutton James' shirt. Before the question even left his mouth, James was nodding his head, getting delightfully fuzzy with submission. Sirius held eye contact with Remus for a second and spoke out again. "Oh my sweet boy," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I will ask my Moony to first take our son to the other room because I can't do this with him watching." 

Remus chucked but took the little ball of fur away from Sirius' hands. "Sure, my love," he stood up and kissed James' forehead. He squeezed Sirius' offered hand and disappeared for a moment. 

James was buzzing with anticipation. Sirius reached out and took off his glasses and placed them on the nightstand. He took James' face in his hands and brushed his fingers over James' ears. Sirius knew how sensitive they were. It made James let out a little sigh of pleasure. "Will you be my good boy, Jamie?" he whispered against James' lips. James made a needy sound, his body moving forward, chasing the sweet kisses Sirius had to offer. 

Remus came back to the room and sat down in James' armchair. He relaxed and said, "You will listen to Padfoot, yes?" his eyes bored into them. Remus was willing to take a step back and watch his two lovers go at it alone. He knew they needed it, they needed to connect in that moment. Plus, he was exhausted after the party, and his body was starting to hurt. "He is in control tonight, you two have my blanket permission."

James nodded but remembered his rules about using his voice, "Yes, Sir." Remus gave his approval and simply loosened up in the chair. His hand made it to his belt, and he gave them both a cheeky smirk. 

Sirius pulled away and clasped his hands together; the way that his whole demeanour just changed should be studied. He was smiling from ear to ear like a little maniac. "Jamie boy", he spoke, his voice echoing in the room "Please take off all of your clothes, and get into my favourite position." James started to undress as Sirius continued his instructions "Face down in the pillows and your cute ass up in the air."

James chucked his nerves completely gone. He did what he was told. He loved it when Sirius and Remus gave him clear instructions like that. It made him feel safe and secure. He settled against the soft pillows, turning his head to the side. He wanted to see Remus, there was something hot about being watched by him. There was some shuffling behind him. Sirius was getting some things from their special drawer. James took a deep breath and relaxed his body. 

It felt vulnerable to be so exposed. His naked body was on display for them to see, to touch. He flexed his fingers and grabbed onto the sheets below him. Patients have always been more of a Remus thing. Sirius was more likely to jump on him and get things done quickly. His mind would have probably slipped if it wasn't for the visual that Remus was providing. James watched as he gently jerked himself off. The movement was almost lazy. He puffed air out of his lungs, but other than that, his body gave nothing away. 

But James saw how hard he was already. How his eyes narrowed just a little. How he twisted his wrist at the top of his dick. If only James had his glasses on, he would probably see the throbbing veins in Remus' cock. The hottest part of all of this was that Remus was looking directly at him.

James was brought back into his current situation when he felt a light smack on his right ass cheek. It wasn't done with a hand, he was sure of that. Then another smack came down on his left cheek, this one was harder. It made his skin tingle in the best way. The sensation was making his brain explode with endorphins. 

A flogger. 

That's what Sirius used. They talked about impact play some time ago. James only gave a red light to the cane. His personal picks were a few paddles (Remus declared which ones he would use as a punishment) and a lovely leather flogger. He had never used one before, but they made sure to do a little test drive scene, and he enjoyed that one the most. 

"Give me your colour, darling", Sirius said as his hand smoothed out the playful smacks he had given just seconds ago. 

James took a breath and tried to locate his voice. He was so excited that Sirius chose this particular toy for tonight. "Green", he answered the question, mumbling into the pillow. To emphasise his excitement, he pushed his body back into Sirius' hand. 

There was a hum behind him. Sirius put his hand on James' lower back and stilled his movement "Good, sweetheart," he praised softly. "Can you give me the definitions of each safeword?" The question was sweet, but it was also a way to prolong whatever was about to happen next. Sirius was really set on making James earn it tonight. 

His fingers tightened in the sheets, and he let out a frustrated groan. He lifted his head a little so his words were loud and clear. "Red means stop, yellow means break", he was panting. But there was a side of him that appreciated this check-in. "Green means I need you to fuck me Sirius," there was a smack of the leather against his skin. "I need you to whip my ass." James' head was in that wonderful place where pain and pleasure melted into one. "I was a bad boy, started a fight", he panted out ", make me a good boy again." 

"Oh baby", Sirius groaned, his smacks getting faster. His body was close to James' legs. He wasn't touching him with anything besides the flogger. "You will take it like a good boy, I'm sure of it." The room filled with the rhythmic sounds of the flogger hitting James' backside. He was quick with it, letting the leather kiss James' skin. "And I will fuck you after I'm done." His voice was dripping with want. He wanted to claim James' body and soul. 

James got lost in the sensations. His muscles tensed up and relaxed as Sirius continued his antics. James watched as Remus clearly struggled to keep up the lazy stoking, he was waiting for them to move further. He wanted to make his pleasure last as long as possible. James moaned when Sirius went over his already abused flesh. It wasn't too much, he wasn't scared. Sirius' promise of fucking him after made his neglected cock twitch. "I want", he was cut off by another moan, "I want to feel you get hard." 

Sirius shifted behind him, "I'm already hard, baby boy", as if he wanted to be very clear, his hips pushed forward. James felt his hard dick slide over his lower thigh. He must have taken off his clothes while James was watching Remus, "I could keep you like this for hours," his hand sneaked down to James' cock. He gave him a lazy tug, "Maybe even edge you until you cry." James bit the pillow he was hiding his face in, he was so fucking turned on right now. "But I need to make sure that you remember," Sirius' hand ghosted over James' red ass admiring his work, his art. After all, Sirius was an artist and red has always been his favourite colour, "that you belong to me." 

"Yes" James managed to get his brain and mouth to function "please fuck me." His hips pushed back, trying to encourage Sirius to move, to do something, "I'm yours." He uttered his voice was raspy. He turned his head over his shoulder to watch Sirius. James' brown eyes looked into those grey eyes he loved so much, "I'm yours." Although Sirius' pupils were so blown out that the colour was less grey and more black. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 26: Breakfast in Bed

Summary:

Sirius apologised to James by making him breakfast in bed.

Notes:

I don't know why this one took so long to write, but I have been having a shity time mentally lately, so maybe that's why.

Hope you had a better week than I did :)

Remus was watching them move. His eyes followed their bodies. There was a loud moan echoing through the room. Remus had no idea who it belonged to, maybe it was his. Pleasure and desire leaked from the bed onto him. He waited, trying to make himself last just a little bit longer. He was so hard, his own orgasm was simmering under his skin. 

"Fuck Sirius, you feel amazing" James had thrown his head back. "Right there, right there, baby", he muttered under his breath. His arms began shaking some time ago because he had been holding himself up this whole time. Sirius slammed into him from behind, a low grunt leaving his lips. It looked wild, almost animalistic. Both of them were covered in a layer of sweat, James' skin bloomed red, and Sirius' hair looked like a mess. And Remus loved it. "Please, I'm so close" James' voice broke a little; he was ready to finish. Had been for a while now. His head slumped down between his shoulders, so low that the top of his hair touched the pillows below him. 

"Not yet, darling", Sirius spat out between breaths. His hands gripped James' hips as his body pushed forward. Remus could see the way his fingers left little marks on James' skin. Sirius was also holding on by his fingertips, his own body shaking with pleasure, but he wanted to prolong this moment. He wanted to ensure that James knew his love was still there; it never disappeared. "You are holding on so beautifully for me, my darling", he uttered. "My good boy." 

Remus was panting, he squeezed himself at the base of his cock. Close. So close. He focused on the exact place where his two men connected. His eyes followed Sirius' dick. He watched as Sirius slid in and out of James. Remus was hypnotised. His mouth was probably hanging open, but he couldn't care less. His brain was too fuzzy, since all the blood went downward. 

James pushed back as Sirius pushed forward. They met somewhere in the middle. At this point, only loud breaths, the bed squeaking, and the sound of skin hitting skin filled the air. After a few more quiet pleas came out of James' mouth, Sirius decided to give it to him. Some praises left Sirius' lips, and they both released all of the tension, collapsing into a big pile of human limbs. Remus wasn't sure where James ended and Sirius started. "Do it, Moony", one of them said.

Who was Remus to disagree? 

He moved his hand faster. His eyes finally slipped shut as his chest heaved with deep breaths. He saw colourful lights dancing on his eyelids. Remus whispered something under his breath, but he wasn't exactly sure what. A few more firm strokes and his hand was covered in cum. It was wet and too sticky for his liking, but he would deal with it in a minute. His head hit the soft cushion behind him as his body finally let go of the tension. He stayed like that for a minute, relaxing.

Suddenly, he felt someone's presence. He opened his eyes and saw James kneeling between his spread-out legs. His huge fucked out brown eyes looked back at him, asking for permission. Remus smiled down at him and nodded. James didn't need more encouragement, he began to lazily lick all of the mess. "Such a good boy", Remus whispered and ran a hand through James' hair.

---

The sun beamed through the half-opened blinds. James just opened his eyes and had to push his head down to stay away from it. His body was sore and tender. Especially his backside. But it was the good kind of pain.  

He had fallen asleep on his front to avoid putting pressure on his abused flesh. James smiled as the memories of last night flooded his brain. Sure, the fight was a lot, but he managed to get all of his worries off his chest, and that's what mattered the most. He moved his head to the other side of the bed. Sirius was up (as always) doing Sirius things. It also meant that Harry was up with him doing Sirius things. Remus was sitting up, reading his book. That was an unusual thing; James was usually up before him.  

Remus was lost in the story. James didn't have a lot of opportunities to observe him like that. His eyes seemed to move extremely fast as he scanned the words on the pages. His face was stoic, his lips thin. James decided that he could watch him for hours. His own mind was still a little asleep. 

The slow morning stretched for a minute, the room's silence disturbed by only the sound of Remus turning pages. James didn't feel the need to disturb it, he took some deep, relaxing breaths. He must have fallen back asleep a few times. 

A soft knock on the door frame got Remus' attention. He put down the book, keeping his finger between the pages to avoid losing his spot. He asked, "Yeah, Pads?" his voice a little hushed. 

"Is he up?" Sirius asked softly, but James was still too comfortable to lift his head. He felt little Harry jump back on the bed, his small paws digging into his back. Remus looked down at him and smiled gently when their eyes met. 

"Hi", James rasped out, his voice way rougher than he anticipated. All of last night's screaming caught up to him. He twisted his arm to grab Harry and turned on his back. The kitty seemed very unhappy with the intrusion of his late morning nap. James let out a sigh as his skin touched the bed below him. Sirius stood in the doorway with a huge tray filled with breakfast food. James wondered where he had found said tray. 

He walked up to the bed and smiled widely "Hello sleepyhead," he put it over James' lap and stretched his body to kiss his cheek. "Breakfast?" he asked. 

James looked down, the plates were filled with fresh pastries and various fruits. There was a huge mountain of scrambled eggs and a little plate filled with (vegan) bacon. Remus was strict about not eating meat, and neither of his boyfriends disrespected his wishes. Two cups of coffee (one black, one filled with milk and sugar) and one cup of tea rested on the far right end of the tray. James looked up, "So I should start more arguments in the future, huh?" he smirked. "Not only did I get amazing make-up sex, but now I get breakfast in bed."

Sirius snatched a strawberry from the fruit bowl and popped it into his mouth. "Sure thing, darling Prongs", he said. 

Remus put his bookmark in, since there was no way he would be able to focus on reading now. He reached for the tea and one of the chocolate-filled pastries. He wasn't a huge fan of early morning eating, but chocolate was his weakness. James was the opposite; he was so hungry that if good manners didn't stop him, he could finish everything that was placed in front of him. Sirius took little bites of everything as one of his hands kept Harry from jumping on the tray. That little cat had an appetite for sure. 

"How can you make scrambled eggs taste so good?" James asked, showing another bite in his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as if Sirius presented him with a five-star dining experience. 

Sirius chuckled, "It's mostly butter", he said. "If something tastes amazing, it's usually butter." He watched James roll his eyes. Sirius enjoyed cooking, he was good at it. There was also a certain level of pride involved in it. It's not like he grew up following his mom around the kitchen; it was quite the opposite of that. He had to learn, he had to try time and time again. Especially on days when Remus couldn't move and couldn't function like a person. Surviving on premade dishes and toast was fine for a week, but after a month or two, it became repetitive. Sirius wanted to do something to make Remus feel better, and sometimes a bowl of soup was the only thing Remus could stomach. So Sirius tried to make a perfect soup, and then he wanted to make a perfect salad and a perfect pasta dish. Today, Sirius wanted to make perfect scrambled eggs, and based on James' reaction, he succeeded. "Glad you like it."

James nodded and smiled with his cheeks full. They spent all morning and a better part of the afternoon lazing in bed. At some point, Sirius massaged some aloe vera lotion on James' overheated skin to ease any discomfort. 

---

Sirius covered James' eyes. He brought James into the gallery after they had had something to eat. Just the two of them. Sirius had been planning this little outing for days. Especilly after James' confesion. He wanted a connection and intimacy; there was nothing wrong with that. Both Remus and Sirius understood his point of view, no one was mad or jealous. 

So Sirius pulled some strings and managed to pull this whole thing off with Marlene's help. Sirius now owed her a huge favour. He brought his new painting to the PAG without James noticing. There were many perks of dating a gallery owner. The PAG was already closed for the day, and almost all of the lights had been turned off. The only light was coming from "Sirius' room", as James affectionately called the room in which his exhibition was taking place. 

James was being led to that room. Sirius positioned him where he wanted James to stand. "Are you ready?" Sirius whispered against James' ear. James nodded, and Sirius pulled his fingers away from his face. He bit his lip in anticipation. His art was something so personal to him, he knew that James would never outright hate it, but what if he simply didn't like it? Logically, it wouldn't be a big deal. James knew art, it was his job after all. 

After those lovely fingers moved, James blinked a few times, letting his eyes gradually adjust to the bright room. Before him hung a fairly large painting, commanding attention with its rich, dark and enigmatic imagery, typical of Sirius' artistic style. As he studied the piece more closely, his gaze followed the path of a shaggy black dog, its fur textured and wild, as it bounded gracefully through a shadowy forest. The dog’s little nose pointed eagerly upward toward a streak of ethereal light breaking through the thick tree crowns above. The sun was warm and inviting. It radiated shades of yellow and orange, almost glistening like gold in certain spots, an unexpected burst of brightness in contrast to Sirius' usual palette of muted tones. The trees loomed tall and strong around him, their gnarled branches intertwining overhead, adding an air of secrecy that was both captivating and slightly foreboding. This painting was inviting viewers to ponder the joy and freedom embodied in that singular moment of the dog’s exuberance.

He took a step forward and read the name of the painting, 'My Sun'. He smiled widely and felt Sirius' arms wrap around his middle. He ran his finger over the letters as Sirius pressed his face against his shoulder "Do you like it?" he whispered, his warm breath tickling James' skin. 

"Do I like it? Baby, I love it, no one has ever made anything for me." James answered, and he was buzzing with love. How did he ever doubt this man? His own insecurities took over his brain, so he couldn't see the devotion Sirius carried for him."It's breathtaking," James kissed the side of Sirius' head, "I love you", he whispered into his long black hair. He didn't want to disturb the silence that surrounded them. 

"I love you, too, Jamie", Sirius whispered back. His eyes were focused forward on the painting that hung before them. "Please remember that." 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Remus stayed home and cuddled with Harry the cat.
Also happy pride month <3

Chapter 27: Third Time's a Charm

Summary:

James is moody and breaks the rules Remus prepared for him to follow.

He gets a punishment.

Notes:

So Jamie is being a little difficult, Remus has to (gently) put him back together. He gets a spanking. There are some past issues he faces around it (Lucius, I'm looking at you). Remus is very nice and reassuring.

Not really spice, more James having needs and Remus providing him with a solution.

James had an itch, something simmering under his skin.

He had been acting a little moody for the past few days. There's no reason for him to act like that. The three of them managed to push past the 'big' fight. Sirius and James had connected so much that any misunderstandings got explained. James definitely felt more secure in the relationship. It wasn't completely gone, because Remus and Sirius had been together for so long, sometimes it was hard for James' brain to see them as two different individuals. He saw them as a couple, not Sirius and Remus. But he learnt to speak up and voice his needs or desires about his part of the relationship.

Dates happened, some more, some less extravagant. He was so giddy when Remus picked him up and took him for a fancy diner date. James was given flowers, he was driven to the restaurant and thoroughly kissed after an amazing meal. He was smiling from ear to ear when Remus grabbed his hand as they walked back to the car.

The three of them explored the idea of having one-on-one sex, too. That night, Remus bent James over his couch before they even fully undressed.

So it's not like James was unsatisfied in that area.

But he was missing something. Besides the fact that Remus and Sirius still didn't live with him, but they have only dated for a few months, and it would be too fast to take that step, even for James. No, there was something else, something he couldn't name, couldn't place. 

James recently realised that he had missed the BDSM part of their relationship. After Sirius used the flogger on him a few weeks ago, James' mind kept coming back to that. So he did what he was asked to do, even if he couldn't put a finger on it, he spoke up about it to Remus and Sirius. 

"Can we talk?" James spoke up over dinner. He sat up a little straighter and put down his fork. It clacked against the plate. He cringed internally. James still struggled with this part. 

Remus looked up and said, "Sure, Prongs" he sent James a small reassuring smile. They were still working on communicating. Remus knew that James needed to know that he was in an equal position to the other two, so he could freely talk about his needs. "Go ahead." 

James looked between them and bit his lip. "I was thinking we could add some more things to our scenes." He flexed his fingers, trying to ease the tension in his body. 

"What things?" Sirius asked with a smirk. "Tell us what's on your mind, darling." 

James could feel his cheeks burn, and his face was getting hot. He moved a little in his chair, trying to look casual and unaffected. He failed, but Remus found it endearing "We could start including more impact play, in the form of ... " he said, looking down, his eyes focused on the table "punishment." His voice was quiet, the last word said barely above a whisper. They talked about this before; they even had the toys. All James had to do was ask. 

Remus moved forward, his elbows resting on the table between them "You want to try sexual punishments?" he asked to make sure. His own excitement was growing. Remus had been more careful with James; they hadn't really done any actual punishments, just some light corrections. He wanted to explore that part of their relationship, but James' past seemed a little too complicated for that. So Remus didn't push or ask. Even tho he wanted to include it so badly. There was something so intimate and vulnerable about it. He had paddles he brought specifically for that; they sat in their toy drawer, unused. 

James, who kept his eyes on the offending droplet of water he found on the table, nodded. Remus made a tsk-tsk sound, reminding him of the 'use your words' rule. James lifted his head and met his gaze "Yes, I would like to try it, Sir." His voice was a little louder than before. 

"I think I don't want to be a part of those scenes, I don't feel comfortable", Sirius spoke up next. "I'm okay with the two of you doing it, but I don't want to be present for that." His eyes found James' and he smiled at him. Sirius knew his limits and punishments were not something he could handle. "I can be there for the aftercare part if you want me to." He offered. "And I believe that this could be good for you two. It can help you connect." 

Remus reached out and squeezed Sirius' shoulder "Of course, pup", he sent him one of his reassuring smiles, and they shared a small moment between them. James watched, waiting for an answer from Remus. It could be a big ask, a big thing. He wasn't mad about Sirius' decision; he expected that. James would never make him do something Sirius wasn't comfortable doing. There was a difference between using a fogger for a bit of fun and doing a whole ritualised punishment. Remus was a different story "I would love to try out some things, Jamie."

James relaxed, "That's all I'm asking for", he let his shoulders fall from his ears. Later, Remus sat down with him and they established some more rules for James to follow. James accepted some of them, asked questions.

"Remember, your safewords are valid", Remus told him by the end of their long talk. "If the punishment gets too intense, you have to use them", he said, looking into James' eyes. "I will look for any signs of actual distress, but you need to be able to communicate with me." He squeezed James' hand in his, "That's a rule." 

And James loved following rules.  

---

James hated following rules. 

He found himself sitting in his office with his phone blowing up. It was late he was supposed to be home hours ago but he got sucked into work. James was a good boss, but he had a problem with managing his time. He either didn't work for a few weeks or closed himself in his office for several hours without breaks. James usually suffered the consequences of his inconsistent working hours. So Remus decided to make rules about his work ethic, which was well-meaning. When they established those, James was one hundred per cent on board. 

Now not so much. 

He looked outside his window and saw that the sun must have gone down some time ago. He glanced at his laptop clock 01:37 a.m. His eyes widened, and he remembered Marlene saying goodbye, but he didn't expect it to be this late. His phone buzzed again. 

you are in so much trouble, Moony is pissed

It was a text from Sirius, who enjoyed this a lot despite not wanting to participate in the whole punishment thing. James almost pictured him smirking at his phone as he typed out the message. He quickly shot them a text and ran back to his car. 

He opened his front door and found Remus sitting on one of the armchairs. The whole scene looked a little funny, but James wasn't in the mood to laugh. His body was vibrating with anticipation, maybe nervousness. James logically knew that Remus had a different way of thinking than he did. Still, his hands shook a little as he put them in his front pockets. Remus raised an eyebrow "You are late," he stated. 

"Yes, I'm sorry, but time just slipped away from me," James said, his voice a little pleading. 

Remus sat up in the chair, his legs parted slightly "You know the rules, baby", he said. The term of endearment made him so happy. Because even if James was in 'trouble', he was still loved. "Can you tell me what rules you broke today?"

James nodded and said, "I was supposed to be home at a reasonable hour." He looked up, searching for Remus' eyes, "I was supposed to communicate with you or Sirius if I stayed longer hours." James breathed out. His body tensed up slightly. Two strikes. He broke two rules in one day. They decided to have a three-strikes rule. A punishment would happen if he broke three of his soft rules. Remus insisted on adding more of these; he liked to take care of his boys. It was a big part of his role in the dynamic. 

"What else?" Remus asked, his green eyes focused on James' brown ones. He was waiting for James to deny or confirm breaking more than those two rules. 

James was about to say that he did everything else right, but his eyes widened slightly when he realised. "I was supposed to eat three meals a day", his voice came out a little timid. Food was usually something he struggled with on days like this. It just hit him that he hadn't eaten anything since lunch, unless his midday coffee counted as a meal. Remus probably wouldn't count it as such. He stood waiting for Remus to tell him off, scream and call him useless. 

Remus let out a sigh "You know what that means", he spoke softly, watching James' reaction. James nodded, and Remus decided to allow it. He could see how much this affected James. "There's some leftover dinner in the fridge, you should eat some and then go to bed", Remus ordered, his tone levelled. "We will revisit the topic of your punishment tomorrow. I want you to think about it." James seemed a little taken aback, like he expected Remus to punish him in that very second. "Remember, you are in control as much as I am; you have your safewords. If you choose not to go with this, I won't be mad or disappointed." 

---

James wanted to go through with the punishment. He really did. Even tho there was a part of his brain screaming at him, making him believe that this was a horrible mistake. He found himself draped over Remus' knee. His naked body, close to Remus' clothed one. It added a level of embarrassment, making him feel small. James liked it; there was an intimate connection growing between him and Remus. 

Remus chose a small leather puddle. It wasn't too harsh. James felt as Remus rubbed his back, reminded him of why he was there and asked James to apologise for breaking the rules. He was asked to repeat his colours and describe what they meant. Remus was reminding him once again that James does not have to participate if he's not ready. "I want to do it, Sir", James answered. He felt excited, a little anxious, but excited. 

There was a beat of silence before the toy made contact with his skin. It was nice and smooth, the smack harder than anything James received from Sirius or Remus. "What do you say, baby?" Remus questioned. Yes, James should remember on his own, but Remus was cutting him some slack. This was their first time together, and James was nervous. Remus watched his well-defined muscles move; it was mesmerising. 

"Thank you, Sir. One." James breathed out, counting the first hit. His shoulders moved; he was trying to ease the tension his body currently held. Bracing for the impact didn't help. It usually made it worse. So after each smack, James was given a few seconds to collect himself. "Thank you, Sir. Eleven."

Green eyes followed his every move, categorising every little twitch of his body. When they passed the twentieth mark, James started to feel more pain. His brain was flowing, he was really deep in his submissive state. Remus rubbed his back to ground, James in reality. "Ten more, Jamie." He remained, his voice gentle. They chose to do thirty, ten for every rule James broke. James made an approving sound in the back of his throat. He took the next ten hits with only a small amount of discomfort. 

The pleasure he felt outwighed the pain tremendously. "Thank you, Sir. Thirty." When they finished, he wasn't shivering with fear, he wasn't close to passing out. No. James felt wonderful, cared for. He did cry, but it was more about realising the pent-up energy than anything else. Remus held him close and whispered words of praise right into his ear. His ass cheeks felt warm to the touch. He will feel it tomorrow, maybe even the day after tomorrow.

James felt Remus give him a little kiss on the abused skin. "I'm so proud of you, baby boy", he whispered, making James moan a little. "You did such a good job." Remus lay him down on the bed, ass up face smashed into the pillows. James felt his hard dick rub on the duvet below him, and he let out a frustrated sound as if he forgot about it. "No orgasm, for you love that's a part of the punishment," somewhere above him, Remus chuckled with amusement. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 28: Bubble Bath

Summary:

The boys spend time together after the punishment, which helps settle James' nerves.

Notes:

TW: past abusive relationship, nothing that graphic, but it's there.
James talks about his past.

James crushed right after the scene. His body shook as hot tears streamed down his face. He didn’t realise how much it meant to him. It felt like a fall. Like he was letting go of everything he held inside. He was hoping that Remus was ready to catch him. 

The good thing was, that Remus expected this very reaction. 

Remus sat down on the bed next to him, his hands hovering over James' back. Not touching yet. Waiting. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he uttered softly, “I’m right here.” In seconds, James' muscular arms moved, and he buried his face in Remus’ lap. That was a small surprise. Remus didn’t expect him to do that. Remus scratched James’ hair and ran his hand over James' back. “You did a good job, Jamie.” 

James nodded into his lap, his mind fuzzy. His body visibly relaxed as Remus ran his fingers through his curls. There was no urgency, no shame. James could take as much time as he wanted. It felt amazing. He managed to come back to normal breathing. 

Remus patted his shoulders. “How about we take a nice bath?”  he suggested as his breath ghosted over James' ear. “I’m going to be there the whole time. I will hold you tight, baby boy.” James wasn't sure what he was doing at that point, but regardless, he nodded into Remus' lap. He believed every word that came out of his mouth. Remus had one problem: James was much bigger than him, and there was no way in which Remus would carry him into the bathroom. His fragile body was not capable of carrying that much weight. 

He sent a text to Sirius, who was waiting downstairs. They talked about including him in the aftercare part of the scene. Not even a minute later, he was knocking on the bedroom door. Sirius saw James curled up in Remus' lap. He mouthed a quick, "Is he okay?" 

Remus nodded and signalled for Sirius to come closer. The two of them smothered James with soft touches and sweet, gentle kisses. Sirius managed to get James into a semi-up position. As they walked, he was leaning on the shorter man quite a bit, but slowly, all three of them made it to the bathroom. 

As James was placed in the tub, Remus and Sirius took off their clothes. Remus slid in behind him, Sirius in front of him. There was a growing number of bubbles surrounding the three of them. James was quiet, vulnerable. His eyes were glossy, but he stopped crying. Remus took him by the shoulders and pulled him against his chest. His large hands rested on James' stomach, his touch firm and comforting but not too pushy. 

Sirius' fingers danced on his knees, and he did little circles with his thumbs. Even in the giant tub, the three of them didn't have much space, it was a tight squeeze. James didn't mind, he appreciated the closeness. 

The smell of lavender filled the air. James felt that his body was slowly relaxing, and he felt a need to share something. He didn't like to talk about it. Usually, he wouldn't even bring it up, for fear of bringing the mood down. The only other person who knew those things was Lily, and even she didn't get the whole story. But now his head was a little cloudy, his heart open. James had a strange feeling that if he hadn't talked about those things now, he would never talk about them. 

"He never did this", his voice came out a little rough. Both Sirius and Remus stopped moving for a split second, and their hands froze. They caught each other's eyes over James' shoulder and started to move again. Remus knew that a big change or a big reaction would scare James and discourage him from talking. "Said something about ... " James trailed off, his eyes focused somewhere on the lavender body wash. "Said something about it being pointless, performative. Not actually beneficial," James liked this body wash; he thought the bottle was pretty and the scent was nice. Not too overwhelming. 

Sirius squizzed his knee "I think aftercare is the best part", he spoke quietly. 

James nodded, but it was more of a reflex than anything. He heard Sirius, but he just couldn't acknowledge him right now. "The punishments were longer, not necessarily more painful", he continued. "Only sometimes, when he used the cane. Those hurt a lot, and the bruises were nasty," James spoke softly yet confidently, although there was a hint of coldness. "I didn't like the cane." 

The room fell silent. The air was tense, packed with emotions and unsaid words.

"We don't have to use a cane, baby", Remus whispered after the silence stretched between them. "We will never use a cane", he said, his voice wavering a little. A wave of anger washed through him, his arms wrapped around James just a little tighter than before. He knew that things were bad, but James didn't like to share the details of his trauma. 

James offered another brief nod, a gesture that now felt more like a half-hearted acknowledgement. His eyes trailed over the decorative bottle resting on the edge of the sink. His ma got it for him as a Christmas present. Or was it Lily and Pandora? James couldn't remember, but he remembered the flashy gift bag it was in. "There was this one punishment, he liked a lot" James was talking slowly, as if the words fell out of his mouth without his knowledge. "I didn't", James said. His mind fixated on the memory of the gift bag, which was red and sparkly. Maybe with a whimsical Christmas theme that made it feel special. "Kneeling on the kitchen floor, it was tiled, cold." 

He remembered kneeling on the kitchen floor, the cold tiles pressing against his skin, an unforgiving surface beneath him. The sensation was sharp and unsettling, contrasting starkly with the warmth of the water currently surrounding him. 

James' eyes were a little lost in thought. Sirius glanced at his face from time to time. It was clear that James wasn't ready to look him in the eye. Sirius didn't push. 

"It lasted for hours", James said. His mind was trying to decide if he liked the colour purple. The bottle was purple. "Sometimes overnight." It was light purple, or maybe he should say lavender. "I tried my best but failed a lot." James made a decision that he likes the colour of the bottle. He likes lavender. It made him feel calm. Or maybe it doesn't, maybe it's just a placebo. "I think he wanted me to fail. He liked that I failed. He liked that it made me feel sad and small. He liked to deny me any pleasure I could get out of it." 

Sirius wanted to scream, the frustration bubbling just beneath the surface, while Remus felt an overwhelming urge to unleash a torrent of biting insults targeted at Lucius. Yet, neither of them gave in to those impulses. Instead, they swayed gently from side to side in the warm water, holding James between them. Bubbles danced around them, clinging to their skin like a delicate, translucent blanket, breaking the surface tension with soft pops. The air was thick with deep, levelled breaths, mingling with the faint scent of lavender. Remus instinctively tightened his grip around James, finding comfort in the connection, while Sirius leaned in slightly closer, creating a cocoon of warmth and understanding between them.

James wasn't crying. He wasn't shaking or hyperventilating like he did all of those times he tried to even think of his past. He was just sitting there in the tub, feeling a little numb. "I used to like the choking." He said, his eyes now moving over the bottles' decorative elements. "I thought it was hot to have someone do that to you. You know? The feeling of letting go of all your control. Giving it to someone." 

"I know Jamie", Sirius whispered back, answering the question. Because Sirius liked breathplay. So did Remus. They liked it. James knew they did. "It's okay if you don't enjoy it any more." If he never wanted to do it, no one would hold it against him. If he wanted to try and failed, no one would be mad. If he wanted to be the one doing the choking, Sirius would slide to his knees and expose his neck. Sirius was willing to do everything to wipe the empty look from James' face. 

"At first it was supposed to be for pleasure, but I enjoyed myself a little too much." James was too far away from the body wash and didn't have his glasses. He couldn’t see what types of flowers decorated the bottle. "It became a punishment too, the choking," he said almost as if it was just an afterthought. If he had to guess, the flowers were probably lavender. It would make sense for it to be lavender. "I passed out a few times. Or more than a few times. It gets blurry." The ornamental elements were indistinct, blurry. "The whole thing is so blurry." James grew a little frustrated. He wanted to know the details. 

People liked the details, and people liked to ask questions. James didn't know the answers. He tried therapy, and some of it worked. He managed to find a few answers. It worked enough for him to live alone again, to stop sleeping in his parents' house, in the same room where he grew up. After the crisis mode he was in passed, it made him feel stuck. Fleamont and Euphemia didn't mind, of course; he was welcome to stay for as long as he needed. But even they, his parents, had questions. 

James had questions, too. 

He found himself duelling with them sometimes. They all consisted of some sort of why?

Why me? Why did I do that? Why did I let him? Why did he choose me? Why did I deserve this?

Remus moved his head a little closer "You didn't deserve any of it," he spoke in his deep, calm voice. "None of this was your fault", he said. His arms were tight around James, as if he were trying to protect him. Protect him from those painful memories. "You didn't do anything wrong," he insisted. Remus needed James to hear it, to understand it. To know that he was not the one to blame for all of this darkness. He didn't do anything wrong. 

Sirius slid his fingers into James' hair and pulled his head forward. Their foreheads touched "You can just talk if that's what you need to do right now." Sirius' voice shook with the heaviness of this situation. He wasn't good at this. He would much rather track down Lucius and beat him up. Scream in his face, rip all of that platinum blond hair out of his head. Sirius was a man of action, passion. But if James needed him to sit and listen, he would. Even tho it made his heart hurt. "It's okay", Sirius whispered against James' lips. 

"Don't you want to ask questions?" James asked. His voice was much clearer than Sirius'. He seemed a tad confused. They probably wanted to know more. They must have been curious, he thought—after all, who wouldn’t want to delve deeper? For the first time since they sat down in the bathtub, James' brown eyes met the slightly worried-looking grey ones. He expected a wave of questions. 

Why didn't they ask for more?

He heard Remus' voice close to his ear. "We don't have any questions, baby. It's your story to tell," he reassured, his tone soft yet firm. James didn't know how to react to that. "You can share or not share everything you deem appropriate. If you are done for today, we won't push."

He felt that it was appropriate for them to have questions. They deserved to know. James opened his mouth to protest, but he got cut off. A loud and very annoyed meow echoed through the bathroom. All three of them moved their heads to the white fluffy bath mat, where a very angry little kitty meowed once again. Harry was looking at them as if they had murdered his favourite stuffed toy (a white owl). "Dinner time," James chuckled. "It's dinner time, and someone is very hungry," he added, a playful grin spreading across his face. Laughter bubbled up somewhere from his chest. 

Soon Sirius and Remus laughed with him. Sirius' infectious chuckle filled the small space, while Remus, with a warm smile, shook his head at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 29: Vintage Clothing

Summary:

Sirius and Regulus go out for a brotherly day.

"I'm not made out of glass, Moony", James uttered as Remus wrapped himself around James' body. They had been making some dinner. Usually, Sirius was responsible for cooking, but sometimes the other two got to show off. Or James got to show off, and Remus made scrambled eggs or cheese toasties. 

Remus hummed into James' neck as his fingers danced over James' stomach. He had been a little clingy lately and was determined to show James how much he loved him. He would wrap himself around James' body like a plant, searching for sunlight. He was like Velcro, sticking to James' back as soon as they found themselves in the same room. 

The dinner James chose for today was a simple pasta dish. Nothing too fancy. He was in the middle of chopping onions when Remus came over to help. It wasn't needed, but it was a nice gesture. Remus, with his many talents, wasn't a great cook. He tried but somehow never succeeded. His long arms moved around trying to catch everything at once. It was adorable, James decided. So now the two of them moved, from one end of the kitchen to another. Remus' help was more, Remus getting in the way, but James didn't mind; he was almost done. 

At some point, Remus had to peel himself from James' back to set up the table. He picked out wine that matched the dish, meaning he chose between red and white. He ended up choosing the white wine because the label was prettier. 

The three of them sat around James' dining table, little Harry on Sirus' lap. His small head bumped into Sirius' hand occasionally, asking for some bites of food. James made a strict rule about not feeding Harry any human food. Even if his sad pleading eyes were too hard to resist. He would bear the weight of being the strict one, over having to rush his cat to the vet. Also, the sad pleading eyes didn't belong to Harry, no. They belonged to Sirius. 

"Pads, are you meeting up with Reggie on Friday or Saturday?" Remus asked, taking a bite of his food. 

Sirius batted Harry's paw off the table and answered, "Saturday around twelve, we wanted to get some coffee." Harry the kitty was put on the floor because he almost knocked the whole plate down. Sirius sat up and grabbed the fork, ready to enjoy the dinner without the little thief. " Why do you want to join?" Sirius asked with a hopeful expression. He was a little anxious about hanging out with Regulus one-on-one. They had the social gatherings part covered. Big groups had many advantages. If things got too heated, they could simply talk to someone else. This time, they were about to meet up in a cafe, in public. Somehow, that was a big deal. 

"Don't give us those sad eyes, Padfood", James answered, filling his glass with a small amount of wine. "You are supposed to spend time with your brother, alone. Get to know each other, build a relationship. Have fun," James gave him a soft smile. "We are so proud of you for trying."

Sirius let out a little groan and made a fake pouting face. Remus reached out to stroke his cheek "We are one phone call away, if things get too much, you can always call." That made Sirius feel a little bit better. Deep down, he knew that spending time with his brother was beneficial. They have been trying to be more normal and act like actual siblings, not strangers. Growing pains happened, and they did clash with one another, but the ultimate goal was simple. Have a relationship. Be in each other's lives. "It doesn't have to be perfect", Remus reminded him. 

That was something both Black brothers struggled with. Perfectionism. If something wasn't perfect the first time, maybe it wasn't worth trying in the first place. 

---

Sirius often found himself doing things that his mother would hate. One of those things that would make his mother have a heart attack was buying second-hand clothes. Or as his mother liked to put it, used clothes. She would say that it was reserved for poor people. Called the whole thing gross and unhygienic. Sometimes it wasn't even about the clothes, it was about the people daring to buy said clothes.

The Black brothers didn't have a lot of things in common. 

Fashion was one of those things that united them. Ever since Sirius can remember, he has liked to look nice. Having limited control over his life meant that he sought out things he could control. And even if he couldn't fully control his wardrobe, there were ways he could cheat the system. He would keep some of his forbidden clothes (usually band T-shirts and leather pants) hidden in various places at home or in his locker at school. Since he had to wear a school uniform, there wasn't a lot of freedom in that department either, but Sirius found ways to go around those, too. 

Once he was truly freed from his mother's claws, he could finally dress as he desired. There was one problem that he faced. Clothes were expensive, and if Remus and Sirius wanted to eat, they had to get creative. So he did. Because he always found ways to go around things. He went to garage sales and second-hand stores. He was one of those people who came in early in the morning to rummage through the baskets labelled as fifty per cent off each item. Sometimes he wasn't above fighting with alt-looking girls for leather jackets and studed belts. 

So now he flipped through the many articles of clothing the second-hand store had to offer. Regulus was on the other side of the clothing rack. From time to time, one of them would pick an ugly item and show it to the other with a quick "this one would fit you" or "this would make your eyes pop". Sirius was truly enjoying himself. 

They got coffee in a new small cafe. Shared a blueberry muffin and a lemon tart. It was pleasant. Both of them decided to stick to small talk, rather than diving into the "trauma sea" as Regulus started to call it. Sirius argued at some point that it should be a trauma ocean. They kept the topics light, discussing present times and avoiding past ones. And it was nice, better than Sirius expected. They talked about their relationships, making jokes about needing a lot of attention since they didn't get it from their parents. 

"Do you think it runs in our blood?" Regulus asked with a small smirk. "The need to date more than one person at a time?"

Sirius laughed softly, "What, like a polyamorous gene?" 

Regulus shook his head, but the little smirk remained on his lips. "I'm telling you, we both need a lot of attention, we need two people each. One wouldn't be strong enough to handle all of this." 

"Mommy and Daddy just didn't love us enough", Sirius summed up the whole conversation. This got a small laugh out of Reggie, and in Sirius' book, that was a win.

After finishing the food and drinks, neither of them was ready to go home. Since good times between them seemed so few and far between. They walked out of the cafe and found a small but well-stocked charity shop. Regulus told Sirius many stories about finding designer pieces. He liked it, he liked the game. It gave him a weird adrenaline rush. And of course nice clothes for him and his boyfriends. 

Sirius pushed a particularly ugly shirt out of his way. Yellow with many ruffles and flower patterns crushing on it. He was about to swipe another thing to the side when his hand stopped. He felt a soft and silky fabric under his fingers. He took out the piece. It was a skirt. Simple black, long and flowy skirt. Sirius scanned his eyes over it, his mind going places he would never admit to. 

"Do you like it?" Regulus' voice cut through the storm of thoughts swirling in his head. He appeared out of nowhere, and he could sneak up on people. Like a cat. "It suits you." He said as his small, elegant hand reached for the soft fabric. 

Sirius huffed, "I'm a guy," he said. As if Regulus didn't know that. That was a simple truth in Sirius' mind. He's a man, and men don't wear skirts. Although Sirius would never judge a guy in a skirt. He would even say that some might look good. But not Sirius, because he's not allowed to wear a skirt. Ever. At least that's what the voice of his mother told him. 

Regulus rolled his eyes "I know that" he took the offending piece of fabric and pushed it in front of Sirius' hips. "Clothes don't have gender", he said as he observed the way the skirt would fit Sirius' narrow hips. "And if you wear a skirt, it won't automatically make you into a woman." He looked up and searched his brother's eyes. 

Sirius looked down. He didn't shave today, so he looked as masculine as he could, with his moustache and beard growing in. He took the skirt and made a few steps to the nearest mirror. The fabric moved with his steps, wrapping around his legs gently. He came to a stop, and the skirt settled in its place. He was holding it with both hands, pressing the corner to his hips. Sirius bit his lip as he watched his reflection in the mirror. 

"You don't have to, if you don't want to" Regulus once again sneaked up on him. Sirius caught his gaze in the mirror. "But think about how much it would piss off Mother dearest." Regulus moved his head to the side as his eyes followed the curve of Sirius' legs covered by the skirt "I do many things simply because she would hate it," he said softly. His voice was tinged with pride. As if going against their mother brought him great joy. 

Sirius nodded, completely understanding the sentiment.

---

Sirius didn't know why he was doing it, why he was so nervous. He went up the stairs with jelly legs, and he was almost certain that Remus knew. James probably knew too. But today he had the upper hand; he could blame his weird, jittery behaviour on the meeting with his brother. 

He emptied the bag of clothes and threw them all on the floor. He had to wash them before putting them in their place. But his hands moved over the two simple black T-shirts and grabbed the silky skirt. He should have said no. Why did he buy it? He had no idea. Why did he let Reggie talk him into it? He had no idea. Deep down, he knew that something about it spoke to him. Regulus was supportive, but that doesn't mean everyone will be. There were a few voices in his head having a heated debate. Some sounded just like his mother, others were more calm and deep, and so loving. Telling him that everything will be alright. 

Sirius decided that he wasn't ready. He wasn't sure what he was getting ready for, but he decided to do the one thing he knew. Hide. 

James made some space for Remus and his things in the dresser. Each of them got their own two drawers and a few hangers, with a promise of buying more if necessary. So he took a deep breath. Sirius gently spread out the skirt on the floor and ran his fingers over the soft fabric. He wondered for a second how it would feel on his skin. He shook his head and started to fold it. Yes, he should wash it too, but the idea of one of his boys finding it in the wash terrified him. He made a mental note about washing it later. He smoothed his hand over the small black square now lying before him. 

Another deep breath. 

He opened "his" drawer and pushed it under all of his other clothes. It quickly became invisible to anyone who was not Sirius. Because Sirius knew it was there, burning a spot in his head just now. Since his clothes have always had a very simple colour palette, with almost all being in various shades of black, no one will see the offending skirt. Unless someone looks through the drawer and takes it out of its hiding spot.

Sirius rested his back on the dresser, his hair falling in front of his face. He needs to calm down. Logically, he knows that both James and Remus love him unconditionally, that the reaction would be positive or natural at worst. 

But his brain isn't logical; his brain makes him come back to those days when he had to hide every part of who he really was.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 30: Halloween Party

Summary:

There is a Halloween party coming up, and Sirius has a chance to try out the new look.

Notes:

Let's ignore that it's not Halloween season yet. In this fic, it's late October :)

Sirius stood in the bathroom, in front of the big mirror. The faint glow of the overhead light illuminated his features, highlighting the tousled hair and the uncertainty in his eyes as he contemplated his next steps.

He waited until James and Remus left for the day and almost ran to the dresser. He took out all the shirts and finally pulled out the skirt. He had a minor incident two weeks ago when James commented on boys wearing skirts. They passed a guy wearing a skirt on their way out of the PAG. James said word for word, "That guy was so hot." Sirius just nodded as his mind stopped for a second. He then proceeded to call Regulus in the bathroom stall. 

"I don't know why you are freaking out about this" his brother said at the end of the line. "That's a good thing, James likes it, no?" he sounded a little tired. They already had about three conversations about the skirt. "Sirius, you are not obligated to wear it. If it's such a big deal, just get rid of it."

Sirius shook his head as if his brother were an idiot, and he walked in a (very) small circle inside the cubicle. He then proceeded to completely ignore what Regulus just said and moved on with his line of thinking. "I'm telling you he knows", Sirius said quietly into the speaker, covering his mouth with one hand. "He found that stupid thing and is now signalling to me to put it on. He's not gonna say it, but I know he knows." Sirius tugged on his hair as his rings got caught in it. 

Regulus groaned, "You are crazy, officially the Black Family Madness has got to you." Sirius was about to protest and make up another far-fetched theory about this, but Regulus didn't let him. "Wear it as a costume to the Halloween party. If someone has a problem, you can say it's a part of the costume, and if you absolutely hate it, you won't have to wear it ever again." He explained, "You have two weeks to sit on the idea, think about it." 

He ended the call before Sirius could protest. 

So now, a day before the party, Sirius was trying it on. The party was taking place in the Shrieking Shack. The nice part about having friends who own any type of club is having space to throw parties. It was technically for friends only, but Sirius was informed that Pandora had a lot of friends, so a big turnout was expected. The theme of this year's party was "Witches". Anyone can be a witch, according to Pandora. The costumes were supposed to be connected to the theme. 

Sirius chose to embody Cher's iconic character from the Witches of Eastwick, fully embracing the spirit of the role. He found a wide-sleeved black shirt that coordinated perfectly with the flowing skirt. It was elegant and mysterious. Allowing his hair to air dry naturally, it formed soft curls that framed his face beautifully. He stood before the mirror, captivated by the transformation unfolding before his eyes.

He did a little spin, "What do you think?" he asked loudly, his voice sounding in the bathroom. 

The only other soul in the house was Harry the cat. The small black ball of fur was currently located on the bathroom chair. Yes, there was a chair in the bathroom. Mostly used as a place to put clothes on until someone decided to throw them into the laundry basket. It was Harry's favourite place to sit in the bathroom, because he loved following everyone to the bathroom, especially Sirius. 

Sirius looked at him for a second, almost expecting an answer. "Maybe Regulus is right, maybe I am losing my mind. Do you think I'm losing my mind, Harry?" he asked as Harry blinked up at him. He patted his head gently "I'm talking to a cat." Sirius shook his head and grabbed his phone. He posed in front of the mirror and took a few pictures. Then he quickly deleted them. Then took another two and sent them to his brother, with a quick 'what do you think?' text. His phone vibrated in his hand a minute later. 

Regulus, being the old man trapped in a young man's body, texted the thumbs-up emoji. Leaving Sirius with nothing to work with. 

He had no idea why this thing bothered him so much. Why the simple black piece of fabric made him so anxious. He was an adult; he didn't have his mother looming over him anymore, but the simple act of putting on a skirt made him go crazy. 

Sirius had a vivid imagination, often overthinking the simplest things in his life. He would find an issue (or a non-issue) and obsess over it until he either blew up or resolved it. His brain was coming up with scenario after scenario where both of his parents hate him for wearing a skirt. Or worse, they get disappointed. In Sirius' mind, he could handle them hating him. He really would. Because love and hate are not so far from one another. But the sting of disappointment cut far deeper. It was his greatest vulnerability, a wound he feared more than any harsh word or glare.

"They wouldn't", he said. "They love me." Sirius' voice sounded in the empty bathroom, his only companion fell asleep about five minutes ago. Once again, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

---

Remus was sure that something was going on with Sirius. He didn't know what it was, but there was something. He had been around the other man for too long not to notice all of the subtle changes in his behaviour.  

Sometimes, Remus wouldn't speak up, for fear of being too overprotective. He didn't want to hover over Sirius; it could create tension between them. Simply because Sirius liked his freedom, if Remus was too patronising, Sirius would blow up and hide even more. 

Remus learnt over the years that it was simply better to wait him out. That Sirius would come to him eventually, and Remus was always there to listen to him. 

James also noticed that something must have been bothering Sirius. He had a little bit of a different approach; he didn't bring things up. He never did. But he offered a lot more physical intimacy and connection. He played with Sirius' hair and stroked his back in soothing motions, patiently waiting for him to find the words he was searching for.  

He would also talk more, filling the space with small talk and chatter. He didn't know if Sirius liked it or not, but sometimes he couldn't help himself. None of his partners stopped him, so he would go on and on about silly gossip from the Gallery or a weird-looking pigeon he saw a few days ago. 

James cornered Remus on a Wednesday night. They were just about to walk back home from their cars, since both of them had work that day and liked to come back at the same time. James ran up and asked if they could talk. "Sure", Remus shrugged and leaned on the hood of his car. 

"I think something is going on with Sirius," he said in one breath. "I don't know what it is. He didn't tell me." James looked up at Remus. His big brown eyes were searching for answers that Remus didn't have.

"I noticed it too," Remus said softly. "He will talk about it when he's ready. We both know that pushing him when he doesn't want to share will end badly." James looked back at his house. There was a small light in the kitchen window. Sirius was probably making food. He had been busying himself a lot lately. "Try not to stress out too much about it", Remus said, noticing James' worried expression. "That's who he is and how he processes things." 

James nodded and gave Remus a small smile. "I just worry," he took a big deep breath and shook his shoulders, easing the tension lingering there. "Okay, I can be patient," he said.

Remus snorted a little and stretched himself back up, "You do have a certain level of impatience, dear Prongs." He started to walk down the narrow path to James' front porch with James following close behind him. 

As they walked back home, James made a dramatic face and put his hand to his heart. "I certainly do not", he opened the door and walked in with "Pads!" he screamed, getting Sirius' attention "Moony is bullying me again!" 

---

They were about to leave for the party, in like thirty minutes. Sirius was getting ready in the upstairs bathroom. James and Remus waited for him downstairs. This wasn't an unusual occurrence; Sirius took way more time to get ready than the other two. He spent time perfecting his hair and sometimes changed his outfit more than two times. 

Today, he was prolonging this on purpose. 

Sirius made sure that his hair was nice and fluffy, ensuring it had that luscious volume. He reached for his trusty kohl eye pencil, expertly tracing the contours of his eyes to enhance them. He was proud of the way this look turned up. The shimmering silver jewellery, the little bit of make-up and that damn skirt. Everything came together effortlessly, as if he had done it a thousand times before.  

A few deep breaths and one last spray of the smoky perfume he liked so much. "Here goes nothing", he muttered to himself as he stepped out of his hiding place. Sirius felt the soft fabric wrap around his legs with every step. It felt new, not horrible, but a little strange.

There was a moment where he debated shaving his legs for this, but ultimately decided against it. He had always been a fairly hairy guy. His jet black hair stood out against his pale complexion. It didn't bother him. He liked that he could have a beard and a moustache from time to time. If he got bored with it, he could always shave it off. His body hair was just there; he didn't mind it. To be honest, he didn't think about it much. 

He slowly stepped down the stairs. His heart was beating in his ears. So much could go wrong. Sirius stopped at the entrance to the living room, where both of his partners waited for him. He stood frozen in place and fidgeted with his fingers, making his rings click clack against one another. 

"There he is, took you long enough", James commented and stood up from the couch. He was wearing a little headband with a witch hat on it. It wasn't much of a costume, but it was definitely really cute. "We should go, I know you wanted to be fashionably late, but I promised ..." he cut himself off when his eyes landed on Sirius' outfit (costume?) of choice. His mouth opened as he followed the long, flowy material down to the floor.

Remus looked back over his shoulder and also made a surprise face, but he was less dramatic than James. There was a beat of silence where no one dared to say anything.  

"Is that a skirt?"

"You look so fucking hot."

They said in unison.

James ran up to Sirius and placed his hands on Sirius' hips. He was so fast that his movement picked up the material a little. "You know I’ve changed my mind; we don't have to go anywhere," he said with enthusiasm, his eyes looking down. James' warm hands found their way to the small gap between the skirt and the shirt, and his fingers stroked the naked bit of skin. He moved Sirius' hips from side to side, causing the skirt to sway with his movements. "Amazing," James muttered softly. Sirius wasn't sure if it was for him or the skirt. James had a slight smile as he looked up into Sirius' eyes.

Remus slowly came towards them; he was using his cane today, as life had given him a flare-up on the day of the party. He stood beside them and reached out to Sirius' cheek. "You look lovely," he said and kissed the side of Sirus' head. "It's very attractive," he murmured into his ear. His hand came up and brushed a curl that fell in front of Sirius' left eye. 

“Thank you,” Sirius whispered, his voice barely audible as a wave of relief washed over him. The tension that had been coiling in his muscles for days disappeared in an instant. He felt his cheeks flush a deep crimson under the intense gaze of both of them. A mix of gratitude and embarrassment surged within him, making his heart race. He had been so foolish to assume that their response would be anything less than supportive. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 31: Birthday Boy

Summary:

Sirius Orion Black (doesn't) celebrate his birthday.

Notes:

I'm so happy you guys enjoy Sirius in a skirt as much as I do. So here's some more <3

Also, a little bit of backstory at the end.

James felt like a crazy person. He almost jumped on Sirius in the car, the two of them crammed into the backseat. Remus was the designated driver for the night, so all he could do was give the two some little glances through the rearview mirror. He had a small smile on his lips as he watched his boys make out.

The skirt was slippery and soft under James' fingers, and he moved his hands over and under it. The air was thick and warm. Remus cracked open the window on the driver's side. James was almost whining into the skin on Sirius' neck.

Sirius managed to shake off the initial panic that flooded his system and was now in full teasing mode. When James pulled closer, Sirius pulled away. When James whined, Sirius moved his face close, brushing James' lips with his “Darling, be a good boy and wait," he whispered.  

James, of course, nodded and looked up with his blown-out pupils. His brown eyes were almost fully black. “I want you so badly”, he whispered back. His hands rubbed over Sirius' thighs “You look incredible, delicious”, he said, his voice hushed. 

Sirius smirked and brushed the back of James’ neck with his fingers. “Thank you, my love,” he whispered and kissed him again. 

They played the game of cat and mouse throughout the whole evening. James glued himself to Sirius' body as they moved on the dance floor. His hands grabbed onto Sirius’ hips and pulled him closer. Sirius certainly enjoyed it. From time to time, he looked over the crowd, filled with people who were dressed in various costumes. But each time his grey eyes found a pair of sharp green eyes following their every move. Remus was perched up on one of the high chairs, half of his body resting on the sticky surface of the bar. His body was a little tense, and he looked like a predator watching his prey. He tapped his cane on the floor from time to time to ease the tension. It didn't work. 

Remus was a pretty possessive guy; he didn’t like his boys to be touched by anyone who wasn’t him or whom he disapproved of. He was also aware of Sirius' attention-seeking tendencies and James' inability to see his own attractiveness. So now, when his two boys were dancing together, the whole club watched. 

He decided to wait just a little bit longer. He wanted the tension to build. Pandora put a lot of effort into the party. The Shrieking Shack was transformed from a simple, elegant club into a full-on Halloween party. Fake spiderwebs stretched all over the walls, and a few life-size skeletons stood proudly displayed in many places. Plastic bugs, spiders and bats were hanging from the ceiling on invisible strings. The smoke machine was working overtime to fill the small space. Lights flashed through the fogged-up air, creating a stormy effect.   

Remus didn't expect this many people to show up, but Lily (who was now sitting next to him) told him about the many, many friends her wife had. "I swear, Remus, she's a magnet for people. She wants to adopt them all." Lily spoke with a pout as she sipped her Bloody Virgin Mary. Pandora has unveiled a new Halloween special menu, featuring delicious cocktails and mocktails. Plus, her signature cheesy names added to the experience. "I can't take this woman anywhere." There wasn't actually any disgust in her voice; it was playful. Remus nodded, but his mind was somewhere between Sirius' hips and James' arms. 

The minutes stretched, and Sirius' dance moves became more erotic. James' hands wandered more and more. Remus took his eyes off them and leaned over the bar. "Is room three empty?" he asked the bartender. The music was so loud that his body was vibrating with it. The guy behind the bar just gave him the key. Remus was a regular (and James' boyfriend), so he didn't have to do the whole 'rules' thing anymore. 

He stood up from his spot, and as his eyes caught Sirius', he gave him a small nod. They talked about the possibility of ending up in one of the private rooms tonight. At first, it was just an idea; they were supposed to see if the party led them to it. Since Sirius came down those stairs wearing that fucking skirt Remus knew what would be happening. 

He unlocked the door and walked in. He sat down on the couch, and his cane was put on the side to rest there. Remus rubbed his legs with his hands and took a few deep breaths. He waited, his eyes trailing on the door. 

When the door finally opened, Sirius walked in, dragging James behind him. "Hi Moony", he said softly. His cheeks were already flushed with a beautiful shade of red. Remus nodded again, his legs spread a little more inviting, Sirius to come sit on his lap. 

He sat there watching them move closer. James' attention was fully on Sirius; he looked enchanted. He followed behind him as his hands kept moving over Sirius' body. Remus tilted his head to the side "Jamie, take off your clothes and kneel next to my leg", his voice serious. He didn't even look in James' direction, but there was a little unhappy whine. James followed the instructions as he unglued himself from Sirius. "Be a good boy and I will reward you." Remus made sure to remind him. 

In the meantime, Sirius shifted to sit comfortably on Remus' lap, the soft fabric of the skirt gracefully draping over both of their lower halves. His face was just inches away from Remus', a playful sparkle in his eyes. "Do you like it, Moony?" he asked, the corners of his mouth lifting in a teasing smile.

Remus, his large hands resting on Sirius' slim waist, gazed into his eyes with warmth. “I love it, puppy,” he whispered, his voice laden with affection as he leaned in to kiss him deeply. Their lips met with a blend of tenderness and yearning, Remus' warm mouth brushing against Sirius' as they both surrendered to the moment, each fighting for control in their passionate embrace. The air between them crackled with energy. Remus pushed more and more, his calm demeanour slipping away. His hands tightened their grip on Sirius' body. "You teased me all night" he whispered as his face diped lower to suck on Sirius' earlobe.

Sirius nodded gently and let out a small moan, "It was for you", he breathed out, "All for you." His voice broke as Remus started to suck a mark on his neck.

As their bodies moved against each other in a heated make-out session, the room filled with small sounds of pleasure and an occasional little whine from James, who was still waiting to be included. At some point, Remus pulled his face back and said, "My star, stand up" his voice was rough. "Go and sit on the bed." He patted Sirius' ass through the fabric "Take off everything besides the skirt." 

The bed dipped as Sirius sat up, his long hair fell over his now uncovered shoulders. The fabric of the skirt felt a little foreign against his naked skin; he wasn't used to this feeling. It was something new, almost exciting. His dick had been hard since James' wandering hands moved ower him on the dance floor, now it was almost painfull. He looked up at the scene before him.

Remus undressed, he took a few big steps and got to him. James was instructed to do the same, but to crawl on the floor instead of walking. Since he was a good boy, he followed the instructions almost immediately. When Remus got to him, his naked body leaned down "Turn around, kneel on the bed." Sirius blushed. Remus only gave short orders when he was extremely turned on. 

All three of them moved into positions with Remus barking out the orders. The prep was fast but thorough with Sirius whining 'fuck me already' from time to time. Remus slaped his ass a few times to get him to behave. When he deemed everything to be ready, he stood behind Sirius, his fingers tangled in the fabric as his hips snapped forward. His hold on the skirt was so hard that Sirius was almost sure that Remus would rip it off him. James was laid down on the bed, his mouth open accepting Sirius' dick into his mouth. He sucked as good as he could given the awkward angle. Sirius' hand pulled on his hair, James moand and sucked even more egerly. 

Loud, breathy moans filled the playroom. The air was thick with anticipation, tinged with a hint of musk that heightened the senses. As Sirius surrendered to the moment, waves of pleasure coursed through his body, each shiver igniting his skin. He could feel the warmth radiating from the two men surrounding him, their collective movements pushing him closer to the edge. This whole night was a slow build-up to this moment. "Moony", he moaned. "Please", he couldn't hold it anymore, his body fell between them like a doll. He moved with Remus' deep thrusts, as he came down James' throat. 

---

James woke up on November 3 with a plan. He was a big birthday person. He loved celebrations, so getting to celebrate his boyfriend's birthday was a perfect thing in his mind. The morning was a little gloomy and dark, the November weather not inviting. James didn't let it ruin his mood. 

He rolled over and was ready to pull Sirius into his arms, but the space was empty. He sat up to see that Remus (as always) was still asleep on his left, but Sirius was gone. James shook his head a little and got out of bed. He made a quick trip to the bathroom to attend to his immediate needs. The house seemed quiet as he walked downstairs. Sirius was in the kitchen drinking what looked like a cup of coffee. He took out the ingredients to make some breakfast "Padfoot, what are you doing here?" James asked. 

"Making breakfast?" Sirius said with confusion. He was wearing one of James' shirts, which was too big for him. His hair was up in what looked like a messy bun. 

James walked up and hugged him from behind "It's your birthday", James said with a little pout "Happy birthday", he added. 

Sirius laughed. "Well, thank you, darling," he said, his hands moving over the ingredients spread out on the counter. James reached over and pulled Sirius' hands back, his fingers wrapping around Sirius' wrist. "What is it?" Sirius chuckled but went willingly. As James took a step back, pulling his body against himself.

"It's your birthday", James said again as his face nuzzled into Sirius' shoulder. 

Sirius rested his head back on James' chest "So we won't get to eat breakfast today", he joked. 

"You shouldn't make it," James said as if this were some universal rule of birthdays. "I wanted to make you breakfast in bed, maybe whip out some pancakes", he mumbled into Sirius' hair. "At least let me finish this", James pushed him in the direction of the high kitchen chairs "Sit, finish your coffee." 

Sirius rolled his eyes but sat down. "I don't mind cooking, even on my birthday", he said and picked up Harry the cat, who was occupying the chair. The kitty was not so happy to be picked up; he wiggled out of his hands and made his way upstairs to join Remus in the warm bed. "It's not a big deal", Sirius commented. He rested his head on his palm and watched James prepare sandwiches. 

"What do you mean, Pads?" James said, "It's your special day. I would say that of all people, you would love to celebrate yourself," he concluded. 

Sirius shook his head slightly. "Every day is my day, darling," Sirius commented with a smirk. "I just don't have fond memories of my birthday," he said, playing with his hands. "At home, it was more miserable than happy. After the whole Peter fiasco happened, I just decided to treat it as a normal day." He looked up, and James stopped moving for a second, their eyes meeting. James usually didn't ask about Peter; it was a sore spot for Sirius and Remus.

"What about him?" James' voice sounded in the kitchen.

Sirius took a deep breath "We found out about his shady stuff on Halloween." His expression was sad, "I cried for days, couldn't get out of bed." James felt his heart break, his lovely and amazing boyfriend spending a whole day crying on his birthday because of some jackass. "We already had plans for my birthday, Remus had to call and cancel it", his voice trailed off. "He tried to be strong for me since it was more about me than him, but he was hurting too." Sirius avoided James' eyes "Sometimes I feel guilty about that."

James stopped moving altogether now. "Why would you feel guilty? Remus processes things differently. You were both hurting, yes, but it was your shity family who got involved," James reassured him. "Remus would never judge you for that", he continued, his eyes searching Sirius', "for feeling down, you wouldn't judge him, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't," Sirius answered, looking up. 

James offered him a small smile. "Let me spoil you today. I can't erase bad memories, but I can create new ones that will hopefully be happy. How about it, birthday boy?" 

"Okay", Sirius nodded and sent a matching smile in James' direction.

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 32: The Happiest Season

Summary:

James is insecure about Remus and Sirius being together for so long.

Notes:

We are going to ignore the calendar once again; the Christmas season is here.

James 'I have big feelings' Potter is here once again.

Time moved fast, and James found himself preparing for Christmas faster than he thought. 

The PAG was getting ready for the annual holiday party, which wasn't much of a party in the first place. It always happened during the first weekend of December. Investors would walk around and possibly buy some new pieces. Rich people sometimes have a weird habit of buying large, expensive art as presents. James would be able to understand it if those art pieces went to people who would appreciate them, but those pieces went to unamused teens who couldn't care less about them. 

James was running around the place trying to make a good impression. He was smiling for photos, shaking hands, laughing at very unfunny jokes, but that’s part of his job. He noticed that Marlene brushed against the cute photographer for the fifth time that day. She was smiling and giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. James made a mental note to ask her about it later. He moved through the crowd with ease. Music played in the background, and the twinkling lights set the perfect mood. 

Sirius stood next to his new piece, proudly showing it off. Remus stood next to him, looking proud. James wanted to walk up and join the conversation, but he was stopped by a very eager woman asking about the same thing everyone else was. His back was turned to Sirius, with a small gap between them. If James took a step back, he would collide with Sirius’s body. Remus caught his eye for a second but returned to the previous conversation. The woman who stood in front of James went on and on about how she used to garden with his mother. He was nodding but not listening to a word she said.

James focused on a different voice.

Sirius was sharing his thoughts about all the projects he’s been working on. He was exploring something new. The way he answered questions while leaving enough to the imagination always made James’ heart beat faster. The couple he’d been talking to for the past few minutes looked at him as if he had placed the stars in the night sky. While James struggled to answer questions naturally, often rambling on, Sirius smiled and nodded through the topics with ease.

“Any plans for the upcoming holiday season?” the taller man of the couple asked. James didn't know who they were. Probably one of the journalists, or maybe critics. “We’re planning to travel to the suburbs, there’s a lovely Christmas Market there. Have you been?”

Sirius chuckled softly, “Not yet, but I'm sure we will get there at some point. My husband loves roasted chestnuts. They’re one of his favourites.” James felt a little flutter of insecurity in his stomach; he had no idea that Remus liked roasted chestnuts. He took a half step closer to the small group behind him, and the lady in front of him didn't notice. She was going on and on about her grandchild. "One time he had two full bags and still wanted more", Sirius continued and patted Remus' chest gently. 

James had been eavesdropping on the entire conversation. It wasn't like Sirius had said something wrong; no, it was quite sweet. This was more about the fact that James didn't have those memories; his relationship with them had started around April. His inner insecurities had been activated. They had years together, many holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. James couldn't compete in that department. Sure, he tried his best when it came to Sirius' birthday, but since Sirius wasn't keen on celebrating, James didn't push for more. 

There was also another problem that James was used to ignoring. 

In his head, he called it "The Husband Problem" - James was not a husband. He was simply a boyfriend. A boyfriend of not even a year. 

In day-to-day life, it didn't come up. Sirius and Remus didn't refer to each other as 'husband' when asking about each other's day or deciding what to get for dinner. 

The title husband usually got brought up in more professional settings. Like today, during the 'Holiday Magic Party with the Potter Art Gallery'. James walked around and casually mentioned ‘my boyfriend is an artist’ or ‘my boyfriend loved this book’, and it was nice. But he wasn’t a husband. He didn’t have those holiday memories, and he didn’t know that Remus loved roasted chestnuts.

It shouldn’t bother him.

It’s not like Sirius and Remus treated him differently from each other. Well, maybe sometimes they did, but it wasn’t bad. When they had one of those silent conversations with one another, James did feel a little bit like an outsider. He tried to stay positive, not dwell on the fact that he just didn’t know them for that long. 

“Focus on the future, Potter”, he found himself repeating until his thick head finally caught up. 

On usual occasions, he was fine. But the holidays brought out a different side to people.

A few days after the PAG party, an article came out. It wasn’t anything huge. Just a snippet from the night. James scanned through the words. He read about how nice the food was, how the lights twinkled and how the art brought joy into everyone’s hearts. “Typical”, he mumbled as he scrolled down, reading the same clichés. It wasn’t anything special. Nothing too exciting. There was a collection of pictures added to the bottom of the page.

There was a big red button called: ‘click now to see who was there!’ 

James found himself in multiple photos. Fake smiling, hand shaking. His speciality. He clicked on the little arrow. The photos switched from one to another, and a caption was added to each photo. He landed on a nice photo of the three of them: James, Sirius, and Remus. His smile in this particular photograph was real, genuine. He looked down at the small text, which read 'James Potter, the owner of the PAG, Sirius Black (also known as S.O.B.), a member of the PAG's artist circle, with his husband Remus Lupin'. His heart did another dip. There was no way for the journalist to know about James' relationship. Why did it bother him? Why did he care so much? 

His mind was once again providing him with the darkest of outcomes. It was so easy to separate himself from the two of them, James and the husbands. James and the happy couple. He closed the article; he couldn't look at it any more. The reminder that his connection will always be less than. His love was questioned not only by other people but also by himself. They tried to erase the differences, and they started to spend more one-on-one time with each other. But Remus and Sirius still had their flat, sure, they spent a lot of time in James' house, but some nights they came back to their space. James didn't want to ask for more, since they had already spent so much of their time with him. Especially now, when all of them were busy. The holiday season brought more work for all of them. 

James returned home from work; it was one of those unusually quiet days when Sirius dedicated himself entirely to painting, surrounded by splashes of colour and the smell of fresh paint. Meanwhile, Remus had to cover an extended shift at the store, leaving the space undisturbed. They were both staying at the flat today. With both of his boyfriends occupied, James found himself alone, except for Harry the cat. Maybe if he hadn't seen the photograph, he wouldn't be having all of these feelings now. 

As he gave Harry his dinner, his phone vibrated on the counter. 

gn, my darling sweet dreams <3

we love you S&R <3 <3 

---

The weather was gloomy and not so inviting, but the guys made it work nonetheless. James and Sirius were chilling on the couch, watching a Christmas movie. It was pretty cheesy, but James liked it. Sirius made some comments about the plot being too predictable, but ultimately, both of them had fun. 

They all decided to spend this season chilling at home and doing nothing. James’ parents were currently doing one of those Christmas cruises. They had been going for years now. James sometimes went with them, sometimes stayed home and spent Christmas with Lily and Pandora. This time, he had a lot of things planned. Between the girls and Sirius’ brother, they have been booked and busy for all of December. There was some planning and moving things around, but ultimately, they managed to find time for each other. They exchanged presents with one another and had a nice meal. James got some roasted chestnuts for Remus, which earned him a big kiss as a thank you. 

As the movie was nearing its end, Remus came downstairs, carrying his laptop. Then he stood next to the couch for a moment. He usually did that when James and Sirius watched something he didn’t like, or pretended not to like. When the movie ended and the credits rolled, Remus spoke up.

“I was about to call my mam”, he said. “She would want to talk to you, too.” Remus gave them a small smile. 

Sirius clapped his hands together “My favourite lady!” he made space in between them so Remus could sit. 

James looked to the side. “Do you want … “ he said, but his voice sounded a little off. So he cleared his throat and started again, “Do you want me to go? I can keep myself busy for a while,” he started to play with his fingers. Did Remus want him there? Was he ready to talk to his mam? 

Both Remus and Sirius looked at him. Sirius tilted his head slightly, and Remus reached his hand to squeeze James’ shoulder. “Of course I want you here, dummy”, he said, looking directly into James’ eyes. “She’s been asking about you a lot." His hand moved to stop James from fidgeting too much. "And you simply do not say no to Hope Lupin.” Remus finished off with a smirk. 

James felt his cheeks heat up a little “You told her about us, about me,” he whispered. James didn’t know why this was making him feel like this. He told his parents months ago. 

The whole thing with Sirius’ family being shit removed the “met my parents dinner” form the equation. And since Remus' mam lived so far away from them, there was no way to casually meet her. Also, according to Remus, Hope Lupin was living life to the fullest; she did a lot of things. Art, sports, volunteering and other activities that she deemed important or simply fun. Remus called her once or twice a week, depending on how busy it was. Sometimes he would talk to her for a few minutes, sometimes for an hour or more. Sirius also kept in contact with her, especially now that she learned how to text. James asked about her, too. Remus was happy to recount all of her adventures and quirks. She seemed like a good person and a great mother. 

“Why wouldn’t I talk to her about it? I love you, Jamie,” he said with certainty. “I want to share that information with my family, especially since I know that she will absolutely love you too.” 

James felt his heart beating faster; situations like these made his insecurities disappear. Yes, he wasn’t married to them, but they didn’t mind. They loved him; he was valuable to them. "Then I'm more than happy to talk to her today," James said and puffed out his chest.  

Sirius shook his head, "You will love her, she can get a little crazy, but she's the good kind of crazy." 

That description matched her perfectly. For the first few minutes of the call, all of them tried to get her to move the phone away from her face. James saw a pair of thick cat-eye glasses, with bright green, almost neon rims. There was a lot of resemblance between Remus and her, similar eyes and noses. When Hope managed to position the phone in the right spot, James was bombarded with questions. He tensed up a bit at first, but Remus rubbed his back the entire time. When she finished talking to James, she moved on to Sirius. There was also a moment when Harry was picked up from the floor and presented to the webcam. Hope Lupin was very easy to talk to; by the end of the call, James was promised a pair of thick socks and a crocheted blanket. He didn't feel awkward or embarrassed. All of them got invited to see her, and Remus promised to make time soon. They all exchanged Christmas wishes, and when the screen went black, hugged each other close. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 33: I Can Be Your Gift

Summary:

Sirius wraps up James as a present for Remus.

Notes:

Okay, so my life is crazy right now, so I had zero time to write.

But I have this smutty chapter for you as a sorry. I hope you accept my gift ;)
This was inspired by a fanart of James being wrapped in a red ribbon. If you know the name of the artist or know what I'm talking about, you can comment, because I couldn't find it.
Edit: Thatdudealex posted the art I was thinking about, if you want to see it was posted on Patreon

Hope you enjoy it <3

"James, are you busy?" Sirius asked, walking into the bathroom. James had just got out of the shower after his morning run. He managed to put on his underwear and sweatpants. His hair was slightly damp, and little droplets of water trailed over his face and naked chest.

"No, not busy, I'm done with my shower", James answered as he grabbed the towel to rub his hair once again. "Why are you asking?" he asked, looking at Sirius from under the towel.

Sirius closed the door behind himself and took a few big steps closer to where James was standing. "I had this idea", he said with his signature smirk. His hands landed on James' shoulders "Would you like to play, my darling?" his fingers rubbed up and down James' arms. "It will be so fun, I promise," Sirius added, tilting his head to the side.

"Fun for who?" James chucked. His hands landed on Sirius' waist. "Fun for me, for you or for Remus?" James was getting excited. They had been very busy with families and friends, and work. All of the responsibilities piled up, leaving just a little bit of time for them to enjoy one another. Finally, the few days between Christmas and New Year's Eve brought them some free time. Sirius seemed to be very eager to take advantage of that.

Sirius chuckled softly and ran his fingers over James' chest. "How about fun for all of us? I wanted to try it for a while, but couldn't find the right thing to use." He said as his eyes wandered over James' form. "But I finally did, and it's kind of Christmasy, perfectly on time," James was now intrigued.

"What do you mean by Christmassy?" James asked. "Am I dressing up as Rudolf?" he said and imagined himself dressed. "Prongs, the red-nosed reindeer," he sang badly, making both of them laugh. "You could be Missus Claus."

Sirius rolled his eyes "You just want to see me in a short red dress." James' head filled with images of Sirius walking around in a dress. Short and red. His hands tightened on Sirius' hips. "Remus would be Mister Claus, huh?" They both laughed again. This time, because Remus would absolutely hate it. Unless he could wear his Christmas jumper. That would make him more than happy to participate. He would keep it on the whole time. "Are you going to tell me that you have a Santa kink?"

James shook his head "Is that even a thing? Are people all hot and bothered for Santa?"

"Definitely," Sirius nodded. "The whole naughty or nice thing, probably does it for some," Sirius said as if this was a very important topic. "As much as I would like to explore that part of your brain, we have better things to do today. Come on, let's go to the bedroom." He said over his shoulder, already walking out of the room. James followed close behind; he was curious about Sirius' "fun" idea. He watched as Sirius grabbed something. 

"Come on, tell me already," James whinied under his breath. 

Sirius placed a large roll of red ribbon in his open palm. "Would you like to get wrapped up, my darling?" he said, watching James' face for a reaction. "I could create a pattern over your chest and add a nice bow right above your ass." Sirius unrolled one corner of the ribbon and played with it between his fingers. "Bound arms behind your back, laid out on the bed for Remus, huh? Would you like that?" his voice was sweet like honey as he spoke to James. "Like a good boy." Sirius added.

James didn't need a lot of convincing; he nodded fast, already imagining how good it would feel, being put on display like this. Sirius praised him and asked James to underss. 

"Can you tell me your safewords, Jamie?" Sirius asked as his hands unravelled the ribbon. His touch was feather light, his skilled fingers moving over James' body. "Be a good boy and remind me of your colours", he said with a small smile. He wanted to ensure that James was having a good time. 

James was getting turned on; he looked down at his chest. The red fabric crossing over his pecks, "Red means stop, yellow means break" James took a breath when Sirius covered his nipples with the ribbon. "Green means keep going." James finished and let out a nice grounding breath; he didn't want to get overwhelmed. He loved that Sirius and Remus liked to bring new exciting things into the bedroom, but sometimes he got too excited, too quickly running the moment or getting into his head. Obviously, neither Remus nor Sirius had a problem with it and gave him a lot of grace, but James wanted to have fun today. 

Sirius sent him a small smile and kissed the corner of his lips. "I will make you look so pretty", he whispered. "Put your hands behind your back, keep them relaxed", Sirius instructed him. James obeyed and put his hands back. His wrists were bound together, and Sirius made a nice bow that rested on his lower back. "Good boy", the praise was falling from Sirius' lips as he moved around James. He checked the circulation and made sure to ask for James' colour again. 

The bed dipped under James' weight. He kneeled in the middle, his back turned to the door. Sirius moved him around like a doll. His hard cock bounced between his legs. All of the little touches made him excited. Sirius decided to tease him just a little bit more. His fingers wrapped around James' shaft, and he turned his wrist and squeezed in all the right places. James let out a few moans and gasps. Sirius shushed him as he worked slowly, wrapping the red ribbon around his most private part.  

James looked down and saw it. His cheeks burned with a deep blush matching the colour of the ribbon. There was a lot of emotion swirling in his mind; he was embarrassed and so exposed. He gave up all of the control and restrictions he held. He was turned on, felt taken care of. Desired. And there was a part of him that felt safe. Safe enough to let himself be free and feel all of these emotions. 

"Are you ready, darling?" Sirius asked and squeezed his shoulders to get James' attention. "I'm gonna go get Moony, okay? Remember, you can always use your safeword if it gets too much." James received a sweet kiss and was left alone for a second. His eyes lingered on the bedside table. Sirius put a pair of scissors there, ready to be used just in case. It was a very thoughtful thing to do. If James needed to get out fast, it would be easy to just cut the binding. 

The stairs made a little squeaky sound as both Remus and Sirius made their way upstairs. James took a few deep breaths and relaxed his body as much as he could. He heard Sirius' voice through the walls, "I told you, more gifts are coming, Moons." There was a little humour in his tone.

James wondered if Remus knew about this or if it was a complete surprise. 

"Oh my godness", Remus gasped when his eyes landed on James' body. He didn't know where to look; his eyes wandered over James' muscular back wrapped in the red ribbon. The little bow that rested just under his bound wrists but just above his ass was truly ridiculous. "Did you do this?" he turned to Sirius, who was now grinning from ear to ear. He received a quick nod and turned back to watch James. "Well, where are my manners? Thank you, puppy, this is truly an amazing gift."  

"Trust me, I will enjoy this as much as you do", Sirius said and sat on the bed. He waited for Remus to make the next move. 

"Beautiful, " Remus' low voice made James shake with anticipation. He stayed in place and let Remus watch everything Sirius created on his body. The way he was watched made him feel even more turned on. Remus walked to the bed and almost studied the thin red fabric. When his eyes landed on James' wrapped-up dick, he let out a little hum. Appreciating the gesture. His hands ran over the bondage, he pulled in a few places, tugged in others. "Baby boy, tell me your colour?" Remus' voice sounded in his ears. 

"Green, Sir", James answered without hesitation. 

Remus lightly squeezed his shoulder and nodded. He ran his hand down James' bound arms to his bottom. His hand creased his skin and bit his lip. Remus was already half hard. "I could keep him like this", his green eyes flicked over to Sirius. "Just kneeling here, all wrapped up for me to use." The last word sent a shiver down James' back. 

Sirius moved closer; he was now sitting on James' right side. One of his legs folded under him, and his fingers played with the ties. "Oh yes, I could get used to that," he agreed with Remus. "What would you like to do, Moony? How will you play with your gift?" Sirius kissed James' jaw as he looked up at Remus. He held eye contact as his lips trailed over James' overheated skin.  

Remus had to take a deep breath to ground himself. His hands flexed on his sides as he thought about all of the options he had. Remus' mind filled with ideas, as his cock filled with blood. He was brought back into the moment when James let out a little whine. Sirius decided to suck a mark on James' neck. Remus had to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning at the sight. "I wouldn't want to ruin your pretty packaging, love", he cleared his throat before speaking. 

Sirius pulled away and nodded, "That would be such a shame." He said before kissing the mark he just created. 

The bed dipped, and James felt Remus slide behind him. The roughness of his clothes contrasted with James' naked bottom. He pushed back and moaned softly. He was lost in his head, in that beautiful state where nothing else mattered. He wanted to be good; he wanted to feel good. Remus put his hands on James' hips and moved them forward. Then back. Then forward again. "Please", James whinied under his breath. He wasn't sure what he was asking for, but he knew one thing: he wanted to be close to Remus. And to Sirius. "Please, Sir", he said slightly louder. 

"Stay like this," Remus positioned James' legs together, leaving a little gap. His muscular thighs close as he kneels on the bed. "Yeah, just like that, baby," Remus whispered. His fingers ran over James' tights. There was a quick moment of silence, and then the sound of Remus' zipper getting undone filled the room. "Be a good boy," the command came out of his mouth as he lowered his underwear to pull out his dick. Sirius was still focused on kissing (and distracting) James. 

Remus pushed his hips forward, and his cock slipped in between James' legs. Both of them made a sound of contentment. James was surprised; the feeling was new but welcomed. He closed his eyes and tried to stay still. Be good. Sirius pulled back, one of his hands reached for the top drawer and took out the small bottle of lube. "Need some help?" he asked. 

"Thank you, pup," Remus rasped out, thankful. He put a few drops on his dick and rubbed it in. 

James let out a loud moan when the wet dick moved against his skin. His body was shaking with the effort to hold the position he was in. Remus' hold on his hips was rough, almost bruising, and his gasps sounded right in James' ear. Sirius' lips found the places on his body that were not covered by the red fabric, and he was determined to find all of them. The contrast between the two sensations made James' head swirl with pleasure. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. 

"Jamie," Remus said, bringing him back to the moment. "Squizze your legs together, baby boy." James, of course, obeyed. His thighs moved closer as Remus' cock slid faster. "Yes," he moaned and threw his head back. "My good boy, such a beautiful gift." Remus was chasing his high; his movements got faster with each snap of his hips. "You love this, don't you? When I use you like this?" his deep voice struck something in James' mind. 

James nodded fast. "Yes, please, Sir," he mumbled. "Make yourself feel good, I'm here to make you feel good." He said his voice slurred as he went on. James let his head fall back on Remus' shoulder. He rolled it to the side "Please use me," he whispered right into Remus' ear. 

That statement snapped the last restraint that Remus had. He pulled James' body even closer to himself. "My good fucking boy," he gasped between each word. Remus finished right there. His cum spilt all over James' inner tights, mixed with sweat and the lube. 

"That was so fucking hot," Sirius commented. At some point, he moved over to the pile of pillows at the top of the bed. James was so lost in the feeling that he didn't even notice when. He was spread out, and there was a very obvious problem in his pants. "Can I have a go? I wanna add to the mess you already made." He said with a wink, making James blush once again. 

Remus wrapped his arms around James' middle and rested his head over his shoulder. James felt the rapid rise and fall of his chest on his back. "My gift," Remus said cheekily. He kissed the side of James' head and nuzzled into his neck. 

"Sharing is caring," James rasped out, making Sirius laugh and Remus roll his eyes. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 34: New Year’s Kiss

Summary:

There’s a New Year's party at the Shreanking Shack

Notes:

We're going strong with the fluffy stuff.
I'm also writing another one-shot about one of the side pairings you can guess in the comments with one ;)

I'm still swamped, so be ready for inconsistent updates <3

Hope you enjoy <3

The pulsating rhythm of music surged through the vibrant club. Shiny gold balloons decorated the whole space. 

At some point during the night, James managed to push Remus to the middle of the dance floor. While James' hips swayed with infectious enthusiasm, Remus stood solidly in place, gripping onto him as if anchoring himself to a lifeline.

Remus was simply not a huge fan of dancing. He would much prefer to stand next to the bar and watch. In his mind, he wasn't missing out on anything. 

Yet, James, with an irresistible charm, was impossible to resist. He approached Remus with a bounce in his step, his expression a blend of mischief and hope. With his enormous brown eyes sparkling beneath impossibly long lashes, he summoned a look so endearing it made Remus feel completely disarmed. How could he possibly say no to that?

They moved to the music, something popular that James knew by heart, while Remus could barely understand it. It didn't matter. What mattered was James' moves. He was moving like no one was watching. Each movement was fluid, freeing, a celebration of the moment. Remus put his hands on James' hips, trying to ground his speeding heart. Instead, all he got was a small smirk that made his heart go even faster. James was pulling his body closer. There was no space between them, not even an inch. Remus felt James' warm breath on his neck. His lips hovered over Remus' pulse point, a sweet whisper of intimacy. The beat was fast and hot.  

Remus felt the light dance over his closed eyelids, bursts of blue and white flashing before him. The vodka sodas Sirius had mixed before they hit the club coursed through his veins, making his head spin delightfully. Mostly because Sirius put more vodka than soda into those. To everyone’s surprise, he found himself genuinely enjoying the night.

As the music shifted to a slower, sensual beat, the energy changed. James stepped back slightly, still holding Remus' gaze, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “See? Not so bad, right?” he teased, his voice just above the thumping bass. His cheeks were flushed, the alcohol and dancing colouring them. 

Remus rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the grin that broke through. James’ happiness was contagious, and for a moment, he allowed himself to relax into the rhythm. “I suppose,” Remus replied, his voice barely audible over the music. He liked making James happy; he would do anything to put a smile on James' face. Including dancing in a fully packed club on New Year's Eve. “But I still prefer my spot by the bar.” He added and squeezed James' hips a little bit. He moved his hands up, putting them on James' shoulders. 

James kept a hand on Remus’ waist, guiding him to the music. “Look at how happy everyone is,” James said, nodding to the group of friends laughing and dancing beside them. One of the girls threw her head back and laughed loudly. Some people wore funky glasses and party hats, all covered in gold sparkly glitter. 

Remus tried to let go of his reservations, but the sigh that escaped his lips was filled with uncertainty. “I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted and shook his head a little. His heartbeat quickened, both from the atmosphere and the closeness of James' body.

“Just follow me,” James said with unwavering confidence. He began to sway gently, his body moving rhythmically as he encouraged Remus to mimic him. Slowly, Remus felt his muscles loosen, as if the vodka had unknotted some tension he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. They swayed together in sync, the world around them fading into a blur. James leaned in closer, his voice low. “See? You’ve got it.” Remus offered a shy smile, feeling liberated as he moved with James, forgetting for a moment the crowded floor and the spectacle around them.

James moved closer, and his forehead touched Remus'. The move seemed so cute, if Remus could love him even more, he would. 

The crowd around them started counting. "Ten!" Remus almost forgot that this whole thing was happening because of New Year's. "Nine!" someone pushed past them. Remus looked over the crowd and caught a glimpse of Sirius, who was (of course) standing on the bar. "Eight!" Remus watched as Sirius pulled Regulus up to the empty spot next to him. The younger Black didn't even protest. "Seven!" Sirius wrapped his right arm around Regulus' shoulder as a huge grin spread over his handsome face. Somehow, there was a glass of champagne in one of his hands. "Six!" The crowd got louder. 

"Five!" James moved his hand up to Remus' face, his rough fingers touched Remus' jaw. "Four!" Remus looked down, catching James' eyes. "Three!" Remus felt his heart stop just for a second. "Two!" James mouthed the numbers, his face full of happiness.

"One!"

The countdown reached its end, and the crowd erupted with loud shouts of joy. Their lips finally met. Public displays of affection were not usually Remus' thing, but today he couldn't care less. Their kiss was electric. His lips pressed against James' as passion filled them both. "Happy New Year," James whispered as they parted.

"Happy New Year, Jamie," Remus whispered back, his lips brushing over James' lower lip. 

---

As it turns out, getting drunk Remus into a car is a job for two grown men. James (who's somehow the least drunk out of all of them) and Evan (who's the designated driver and fully sober) had to push Remus' body into the passenger seat. James had never seen him this drunk, but it was kind of cute to see how he cuddled up to his jumper, mumbling about being sleepy. 

"I'm going to get Sirius, and we can go," James said to Evan. He got a short nod in response. Evan was about to drive them to James' house and come back for his own boyfriends. James decided that he liked Evan, even tho he wasn't much of a talker. He left Remus in the car as Evan slipped into the driver's seat to keep an eye on him. 

James walked back into the now almost empty club. The only people left (besides employees) were his friends. Marlene and Dorcas swayed on the dancefloor; there was no music playing, but neither girl seemed to care much about it. Marlene was resting her head on Dorcas' shoulder, but the position looked a little uncomfortable because of the sequinned dress the taller girl was wearing. Again, neither girl cared much. The other person on the dance floor was Barty, who was running around kicking the gold balloons. He looked like a toddler having the time of his life, his hair was sticking in all directions, and his button-up was halfway undone. James watched as he ran into the pile of balloons once again, making them fly into he air and hit the ground just as fast. 

Pandora, who was wiping a glass behind the bar, cheered for him. Lily grabbed the glass from her hands. Since Pandora was not working today, she was as drunk as everyone else. The glass cleaning was more of an impulse than a helpful task. Lily rolled her eyes at Barty's shenanigans, but did nothing to stop him from doing it again. 

Sirius and Regulus were sitting by one of the round tables. James approached them as Sirius was tearfully telling his brother, "I love you so much." The confession would be something neither of them would say this loud and clear (and with people around), but the alcohol in their system made the conversation happen in the first place. "It hurt me so much to leave, I missed you and I love you. I'm so sorry, " Sirius put his hands on Regulus' shoulders, and almost toppled over from his chair. 

The younger brother shook his head, "No, I love you, and you don't have to be sorry, okay, I understand why you did it." His hands came up to Sirius' elbows. James had never seen the two of them touch so much. Regulus' voice was slurred "You are the best, I love you." Both of them looked like they wanted to cry, but James couldn't stop laughing quietly at their antics. 

Sirius was ready to declare that he, in fact, also loves Regulus, as James finally decided to break them up. "You two love one another very much," he said softly. "How about we go home, Pads? Remus is waiting in the car, and he's getting sleepy." His hand squeezed Sirius' shoulder. "And you love Moony very much," James said, pulling Sirius up from his seat. He got a loud declaration that Sirius does love Moony so much. 

After a few more minutes of tearful goodbyes and not one but two hugs, James was putting on Sirius' long black coat. He helped his boyfriend pull on the piece of clothing. Sirius put his hands on James' cheeks "I love you, Prongs," he said and gave James a big grin "I love you," he repeated when James pulled his long hair out of the back. 

"I love you too, Padfoot," he said back before leaving a small kiss on top of Sirius' nose. "Happy New Year," James added as his fingers buttoned up the last few of Sirius' buttons. 

Sirius opened his mouth in surprise "Oh my God!" he screamed. "It's New Year's." His eyes were huge as he spun around himself. "Kiss, I need a kiss," he grabbed James' face again. "Kiss?" he asked and tilted his head to the side, watching James' face, pushing his lips up. 

"Come here," James pulled him closer and pecked his lips gently. It was quick and sweet, so different from the kiss he shared with Remus right when the clock struck midnight, but just as beautiful.

---

When Remus woke up the next morning, he immediately regretted it. He opened his eyes for a split second just to close them and push his head back into the pillow. His head hurt a lot. The bright light in the room made it even worse. Remus took a few deep breaths and tried to curse his past self for drinking so much. Everything that happened after the midnight kiss with James was a blur. He had flashes of getting into a car and being put to bed, but that's it. 

He was in his boxers, which he was very grateful for because there's nothing less comfortable than sleeping in the same clothes you sweated in the night before. His mind replayed the kiss and the dancing. If he weren't so hungover, he would blush at the memory. Right now, he was fighting the urge to let out the contents of his stomach into the toilet. 

Remus was about to roll over again, but heard the bedroom door open. "You up, Moons?" Sirius asked as he walked in. His voice was hushed and soft; he knew that his husband was probably hungover. Remus opened one of his eyes and let out a small groan. Sirius gave him a small smile "You old men." He sat up on the edge of the bed and patted Remus' hair. He ran his hands through the tangled mess. "I have some painkillers and water for you. Come on, my love, sit up." 

The bed shifted as Remus sat down, his eyes still closed as he reached for the pills. The sheets piled around his middle, and his back rested against the headboard. Sirius gave him two pills and the already opened bottle of water. "What time is it?" Remus rasped out after swallowing the pills and drinking half of the water. His head was pounding, and his throat was so dry. 

"It's almost noon, you slept through breakfast," Sirius said. He moved closer to push hair away from Remus' forehead. "You had a wild night, huh?" he teased gently as his hand moved down and cupped Remus' cheek. 

Remus let his head fall into Sirius' hand, his eyes slowly opened, and he looked up. "And whose fault is that?" he teased back. 

Sirius dramatically put his hand on his heart and gasped. "Do not blame me for your mistakes, Mr Lupin." He lifted one of his fingers and poked Remus' chest. His face stretched in a wide grin. Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius' wrist and pulled him closer. Sirius' body moved willingly. 

"Happy New Year, Mr Black," his voice still very raspy, when he whispered against Sirius' face that was inches away from his. 

Sirius looked back into Remus' eyes and replied, "Happy New Year, Mr Lupin." His hands came up to rest on Remus' shoulders "And I will give you a New Year's kiss once you brush those pearly whites because I'm almost sure that you still taste like vodka." Remus rolled his eyes but had to agree with Sirius' reasoning. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 35: Taking Care of our Love

Summary:

James and Sirius help Remus (he doesn’t want to accept it).

Notes:

Heyyy

I'm back. I had to take a break simply because I started a full-time job and still haven't finished my Master's. So my days became too short. Something had to be put on hold, and sadly, this was the thing.

But don't worry, even if I take longer breaks, I'm not planning on abandoning this story.

Hope you enjoy it <3

Remus was paying the price of being an active member of society.

As both James and Sirius revocered after their wild nights out, Remus didn't. Or he did, but his illness decided to flare up just the day after he nursed his hangover self back to life. He had to take the rest of the week off. Mary, the angel, said that he should stay home for two weeks, as she would be taking care of counting the inventory and getting the shop ready for the new year. 

After about two days, James was officially hovering over him. Usually, Remus recovered after a rest and a substantial dose of pain medication. Now he was not feeling better; he just existed. James insisted that they both stay with him, and Remus didn't complain. Sirius and James stayed in James' guest bedroom to give Remus as much space as his heart desired. The bed was definitely more comfortable than the one at their shity apartment, and the large bathtub was amazing to soak in. 

Of course, if he were able to actually get there.

His days consisted of lying motionless in bed. His muscles hurt, and his whole body was tense. Especially his back. With each small movement of his head, there was a sharp pain in his neck. A pulsating type of pain ran over his back. His leg was also killing him. To say simply, Remus was not having the best time. 

He turned and felt little Harry nuzzle into the side of his face. "Hi there," he rasped out. The little guy spent a lot of time keeping him company in bed. As if he could sense that Remus needed a little pick-me-up. Or he just wanted to nap in the soft sheets. Remus would never know; he liked to assume that Harry was trying to make him feel better. 

The front door closed, so Remus knew that James had come home from work. He immediately made his way upstairs, taking two steps at a time. He had a little flick of hope in his heart that Remus might feel a bit better today. Sadly, he didn't. He was in the same position as James had left him this morning. His hair was sticking up on top of the sheets; it was a little wild, but James decided it was kind of cute. "Hi, Moons," he said, walking in. "How are you feeling?" James asked softly and rubbed what he assumed was Remus' back. 

The only answer he got was a muffled "I'm fine" somewhere under the pillow. James let out a huff and continued to rub his back in circular motions. No matter how hard it got, Remus insisted on being fine. It was both amusing and infuriating. His stubborn and prideful self made it almost impossible to help him. 

Accept that Sirius and James were also very stubborn and prideful. 

"You know you can ask for help, Moons", he leaned down, pushing back the blanket that fell onto Remus' head. "Did you have something to eat today? Did you even have water?"

Remus lifted his head from the pillows and let out a groan, forgetting about his stiff neck. The idea of food was the furthest thing he wanted to think about. His stomach twisted in a tight knot, and he felt nauseous. A part of that was probably because he hadn't been eating enough. There were a few protein bar wrappers scattered across the side table, and a half-empty water bottle. He gave James a side eye and let his head fall back onto the pillow. 

"I assume that's a no," James chuckled and let his hand run through Remus' hair. He shook his head as he ran over all of the possible solutions. "Would you like a massage?" he asked and bit his lip. "I googled some stuff and Sirius mentioned that massages helped you in the past." James knew that he had to basically coax Remus into letting himself be helped. He was giving him a way in; all he had to do was say yes. "I'm not a professional, but I could give it a try. After that, we will take care of the eating part."

Remus felt a wave of gratitude wash over him. His lovely boyfriend researched to see what could help Remus feel better. He felt James move around a little and heard a drawer open. "That would be great," he rasped out, lifting his head once again. "If you want," he added. Remus hated feeling like a burden, especially to his partners. 

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to, Moons," James said softly and patted his head. "I brought some massage oils, I can try to heat them a little bit so it's even more relaxing." He began to take out the small glass bottles of different-smelling oils. He put them on the side table so Remus could see them. "Lavender, rosemary or coconut?" he asked as he took off his work clothes. James had to put on sweetpants as soon as he got home, or he was going to explode. Now he decided to stay in his boxers and nothing else. 

Remus thought for a second before making the decision. "Rosmary, sounds nice," he said as he moved under the duvet, trying to shift his body into a comfortable position (it didn't work).

"Of course, Moony." James gave him a soft smile, "Rosmary, it is," he said and picked up the correct oil. 

James helped him move from under the covers, and in no time, Remus was lying on his front, with one of his arms folded under his head. James kneeled next to him, his legs digging into the mattress. Before he started, he leaned down, leaving a small kiss on the back of Remus' neck. "Tell me if it's too much, okay?" James got a little nod from Remus. He moved his large, warm hands up and down Remus' tense back. 

The oil warmed up quickly, giving Remus a little relief almost immediately. James was surprisingly good at taking care of the knots in his muscles. His fingers were finding the sore spots and working them out. "Fuck Jamie," Remus gasped softly into his folded arm, after James managed to break out a peculiarly stubborn knot. "You can go a bit rougher," Remus suggested. 

James nodded and moved his hands with a bit more pressure. At first, he was a bit more gentle, scared of causing Remus more pain. But with time and a lot of encouragement from Remus, he pushed his whole body into the massage. He manoeuvred over Remus' legs and sat on his lower back. "This okay?" he asked softly. They were both in just their boxers, so now his naked legs rested against Remus'. He was careful not to push on too much, too fast. 

"Amazing," Remus almost moaned. "Yes, feels so good," he said under his breath. From time to time, his bones cracked. He felt James' body pushing down on his lower back, making it a thousand times better. The warm rosemary oil made the room smell rich and cosy. "You are doing so well, baby," Remus rasped out. 

James blushed and moved his fingers on the back of his neck. His thumbs rubbed over his spine "Thank you, Moons," he said softly, not wanting to disturb the comfortable silence of the room. He watched as Remus' back visibly relaxed under his touch. 

The oil made his skin feel soft. James made sure to pour a generous amount and warm it up between his palms. As his hands moved over Remus' shoulders, he pushed all of his strength into it. He wanted to hear another prize, another moan of pleasure. So he worked hard and felt a little tug in his lower stomach each time Remus gasped. There was something so intimate about this whole massage. 

The idea that James could touch Remus like this made both of their heads spin. It wasn't always about sex, about orgasms. Sometimes it meant touching Remus' tense muscles and not expecting anything in return. Sometimes it meant giving and not receiving. 

Remus let his body relax into the duvet. He closed his eyes. His body felt good for the first time in days. It felt like James found a secret switch and melted his brain with his skilful fingers. At some point, he was only capable of letting out soft little sounds. His thoughts drifted into smooth, fuzzy clouds. Sleep wrapped around him like a warm blanket; he hadn't even noticed when it happened. 

---

On weeks like this, Sirius often helped Remus shave. This was a way for him to be helpful and for Remus to feel a bit more put together. Sirius hated that he couldn't just make everything better for his husband. He felt useless. Remus felt useless, too. He felt like a failure, like a waste of space. 

During those dark moments, he pushed Sirius away. He believed that he wasn't good enough, that Sirius should just divorce him. Sometimes it led them to arguments and fights. Emotions poured out of them in unhealthy ways. Until they found a solution. 

Shaving was the solution. It helped them both, small enough not to make Remus feel like a burden but big enough to make his day feel better. That also made them find a way to connect, touch intimately, but not sexually. 

Sirius dragged the chair that usually sat in the corner and collected laundry closer to the sink. Remus had to admit there was something so intimate about the whole setup. Soft warm light was shining through the large windows, casting a soft glow over the room. He watched as Sirius spread out the shaving equipment over a small white towel. It was their usual shaving cream and his regular razor. Nothing fancy. 

But it meant the world to him. 

Especially during those days when he couldn't even hold up the razor, or couldn't stop his hands from shaking. 

Sirius stood between Remus' spread-out legs. His head tilted to the side, and he felt the shaving cream all over the lower part of his face. Remus slipped his eyes closed, his nose filled with the clean smell of the shaving cream. James made sure to buy the nice brand for all of them. Sirius moved his fingers all over his skin, making sure that the layer was nice and thick. 

The sound of water filled the room as Sirius gently pushed the razor against Remus' cheek. He was focused on the task at hand. He didn't want to accidentally nick his skin. Sirius bit his lower lip as he moved his wrist in all the right places to get a clear shave. He was almost a pro at this point, but he still wanted to be careful. 

Remus took deep breaths through his nose. His mind wandered to the memories of similar times in the past. In the small, cramped bathrooms they used to have. Where Sirius had to be half preched up on the sink, where Remus had to pull his legs close so they were able to fit. When he had to sit on a small wooden chair, because the door was too small to fit a bigger one. One time, Sirius bumped his elbow into the bathroom cabinet, making the door fall off. 

Now he was sitting on the "bathroom chair", as James called it. It had a little cushion on its bottom and back, so Remus could sit comfortably. He had space to put his arms on, and Sirius could fully turn around to wet the razor in the sink. He taped the little thing over the sink edge to clean it up a little bit. Remus opened his eyes and caught his gaze. 

"How can one man have so much hair on one's face?" Sirius said with a smirk as his fingers moved Remus' chin up. He leaned in closer and dragged the razor down the side of his face. 

"Must be the werewolf genes," Remus joked and gave Sirius a matching smile. Sirius rolled his eyes as he rinsed the razor under the running water. 

Notes:

Thanks for all the kudos and comments <3

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of May I kiss your scars?