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Tong’er has a vague awareness of pain. Darkness. Someone moving nearby, and it makes her afraid until she recognizes her mistress, and then a wave of relief carries her back to unconsciousness.
Time passes in a haze of pain and movement and bitter medicine held to her lips. A’Li’s soft voice murmuring words she can’t understand. She hears sobs at some point and tries to speak, to comfort -- but loses track of herself and the moment slips away. She feels like a flight of birds too cautious to land for long, easily scattered.
Eventually, all the pieces of herself settle together for a moment, and she opens her eyes on something more than a dream. Early morning light is seeping in the windows, which brings a vague sense that she should be up already.
A’Li is asleep in a chair nearby, cheek tucked into the crook of her elbow like a crane in winter. At the sight of her, quiet and alive, Tong’er’s memories come rushing back.
The torches. The red ropes strung with bells. The child’s voice, floating in the courtyard like a ghost’s. The sword. She remembers throwing herself between that sword and A’Li.
A fierce joy passes through her. We won. A’Li is alive and well, and both of them survived the worst that Ji Shuran could do to them.
She starts to reach out, and a sharp ache stabs through her. She must make a noise, because A’Li’s eyes flick open.
“Tong’er?” she whispers.
“Jie-jie.” Tong’er tries to smile, and gets a tremulous smile back. A’Li’s face is puffy from crying and sallow with lack of sleep.
“How long?” Her voice cracks on the words, and her throat closes. How long has it been?, she wants to say, and thankfully A’Li understands.
“Three days.” A’Li is already getting up, and reaching for a bowl on the table. “The Imperial Physicians have been here every day.”
Tong’er feels vaguely shocked, that the most important doctors in the empire would come to look in on a lady’s maid. Somehow, she’s sure, A’Li is responsible.
With help, she manages to sit up against the pillows, but her hands won’t hold the bowl at all. A’Li takes it and lifts the medicine spoon.
“Jie-jie, you shouldn’t.” Surely Bai Xue, or someone -- A’Li shouldn’t tend to her.
A’Li just pushes the spoon toward her again. “You can argue with me later.”
She takes a few spoons of the medicine, bitter but welcome on her parched throat. She feels thirsty enough to drink the entire bowl, but she knows better even in this state. She can’t remember ever feeling this weak before. She’s lucky to be alive.
A’Li no doubt reads the thought on her face, and frowns. “Tong’er. I’m so sorry. I thought she wanted to send me away. I didn’t think she’d try to murder me, in front of everyone.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I let you get hurt.” A’Li takes her hand gently, as if afraid she might break. “I should have been more careful.”
“How?” Tong’er puts her other hand over A’Li’s. “There wasn’t another way to solve this.”
But A'Li shakes her head. "I knew I was taking too many chances. I just didn't listen. Tong'er. I promise you. I won't risk your life like this again."
"Then don't risk yours." A'Li tries to tug her hands away, but Tong'er holds on stubbornly. "I will never forgive myself for what happened at Zhannu Hall. I couldn't live with myself if it happened again."
All the fight goes out of A'Li, all at once. Sorrow and regret chase themselves across her face. “But I’m supposed to take care of you.”
“Jie-jie, no.” Tong’er wishes she could throw her arms around the other girl, but has to settle for squeezing her hands tight. “We’re supposed to take care of each other.”