Chapter Text
(Rose’s POV)
After the funeral, my father got a letter, stating that the academy was choosing to close due to the danger the students somehow always seemed to end up in and the amount of parents on the brink of suing. I don’t think any of us were really shocked when he told us the contents of the letter. Sure, we hadn’t exactly expected it, but it wasn’t entirely an unpredictable turn of events.
My uncle suggested we return to his monastery with him, and we all accepted, not really having anywhere better to go.
Except, almost the first day…Well, I woke up to shouting. I don’t know what initially started the disagreement, just that it started, and then escalated. And surprise, surprise, it was between Jay and Cole. At one point Kai tried to intervene, and then ended up drawn into the argument. And now they’re all standing across the room from me, hurling insults rapid-fire.
I hang back in the corner, not quite sure what I can do to break them up, and quite honestly wary of trying.
Nya walks in, a slight frown on her face, then sighs in exasperation when she sees the three, “How long have they been doing this?”
“I don’t know, ten minutes or so maybe…?” I rub my temple.
“Okay…” she walks over. “Guys, guys! Please, stop for just a secon-”
Kai holds up a hand, scowling at the other two, “Stay out of this, Nya.”
“Yeah, no, this is enough,” she tries to pull Cole back, though it probably wasn’t the wisest choice to go for the strongest one of the three because he doesn’t budge.
She raises her voice, trying to be heard over all the shouting, “Hey, stop-! Guys! Will you just listen-!”
“No, Nya, he needs to hear this!” Jay glares at Cole. “I’m sick of your indecisiveness, a-and disloyalty-”
“Look, at least I’m trying!” Cole interrupts. “You try getting stuck in a situation like this and see how you like it!”
“Guys, can we please just STOP with this whole thing!” Kai all but screams. “It’s driving me crazy! You two never do anything but yell at each other!”
“It’s hard not to, when boulder brain over here never listens to what I say!”
“I’ve only ever listened,” Cole objects. “You’re the one who can’t shut your mouth to save your life! Ever think there’s a reason I call you ‘Motormouth’? Huh??”
“You take that back-”
“No!”
“Guys, come on!”
I resort to covering my ears and sinking down on the floor, Oh, God, please make them stop, please.
Lloyd pokes his head in, “Hey, what’s going on in here-” His question goes completely unnoticed, drowned out by the bickering. “Hey, guys, wait, what-”
I get to my feet and walk out the door, not wanting to hear his voice join in the noise. Making it safely to my room, I slide the door closed and lean against it, covering my face.
“PUPILS!” my father’s voice suddenly roars. And then there’s quiet. “That is ENOUGH.” His voice lowers so that I can’t hear it from here, but I know he’s scolding them, likely asking them if this is how they thank Uncle Garmadon and Aunt Misako for letting us stay here.
What I didn’t expect was Kai to interrupt him. “No! No, I’ve had it! I am sick of them, and I’m sick of…of this whole thing! I’m done! Okay?! I’m done!” A second after, his footsteps storm through the hall, towards his room, and a door slides closed with a ‘bang’.
After a nervous second of holding my breath, I slide my door open just enough to vaguely hear the others’ conversation.
“Now look what you did,” Nya’s huffing. “I leave for one minute, and you all dissolve into…whatever that was.”
“Nya-”
“Don’t, just don’t,” she sounds tired. “My head feels like it’s constantly being hammered on all sides, and I don’t need another one…” She follows her brother’s example, disappearing into her room across from mine. If that’s not a sentence I can relate to… I sigh and emerge from my room. I didn’t expect to meet Cole’s eyes down the hall almost immediately.
He blinks, then looks away guiltily. I repress a sigh and move to the kitchen to grab some semblance of a breakfast. Lloyd seems to have retreated here too and is silently downing a bowl of pure sugar. Or at least that’s what the colorful mix of cereals looks like to me. Any other time, I would’ve made a joke about his parents knowing his food preferences quite well if there was already some cereal here for him. As it is, I just give him a nod that he returns and look through the fridge for leftover miso soup.
I’ve barely sat down at the counter before Nya’s startled voice reaches my ears. “Kai?! W-what are you doing?”
Lloyd pales slightly and abandons his cereal to go see what’s going on. I just stare into my bowl of just heated soup. Why…? Why can’t we go ten minutes without something happening?
“Look, Nya, I’m sorry, but I’m done.”
“I didn’t think you meant this!”
“I did. I can’t take this anymore.”
“But-”
Lloyd’s quiet voice sends them both silent, “Kai…?” I press the heel of my hands into my eyes, then get up and look into the hall. I don’t know what I expected. I just know it wasn’t Kai with a suitcase, Nya grasping his arm, Lloyd staring at them both with a haunted look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Green Bean,” Kai shakes Nya off and goes out the door. She stands there, staring at it numbly.
Lloyd runs out after him, “Wait-!”
I close my eyes and lean against the door’s frame nervously. In Lloyd’s haste, he failed to close the door behind him. Every word is painfully clear for us to hear.
“Kai, you can’t go, please, Zane wouldn’t want us t-”
“I’m the reason Zane’s gone!” Kai shouts, voice nearly breaking. “Don’t you get it? I’m the one who told him that it’s not about numbers, that it’s about family. A-and that-that stupidly selfless Nindroid went and he- Well. You know.”
Lloyd’s completely quiet.
“I’m sorry, Lloyd. But I just can’t stay here any more.”
In the following silence, I force myself to move back to the counter, though I can’t bring myself to eat. When Lloyd comes back in, shoulders slumped, and a twisted up, incomprehensible expression on his face, he tosses out the remainder of breakfast, puts the bowl in the sink, and leaves. Words couldn’t have made it any more clear that Kai really did just leave.
I would have thought tensions couldn’t have been any higher than they were this morning. I was wrong. For the rest of the day, I could’ve cut through the air with a knife and seen the cut. The few times anyone says anything, the sentences are short as possible, tone abrupt if not curt. A few times Nya cut herself off mid-sentence and fled the room, shoulders shaking with repressed sobs. Lloyd seems to do everything mechanically. Jay and Cole can barely look at each other.
I remember thinking Zane was the only thing keeping this team together. I blink back the tears threatening to spill. Instead, I force myself to keep moving. I don’t dare stop. I don’t dare take a moment to process. I can’t take falling apart again.
The next morning, as the sun streams through the window, and I hear sharp voices beginning to rise, I just cover my ears with my pillow and squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to hear it. I don’t want to hear the frustration, or fury, or guilt. I don’t want to hear Jay’s scream or Cole’s growl. I don’t want to hear Lloyd’s voice break as he tries to get them to stop. I don’t want to hear Nya’s repressed sobs when everything becomes too much. I don’t want to hear my father’s displeasure. I don’t want to witness my uncle and aunt’s helpless silence. I don’t want to see Bizarro’s emotionless stare. I don’t want to feel the agony the absence of two friends brings. I don’t want to be reminded of him.
When a nearly inaudible knock comes on my door, I force myself to sit up and quietly give permission for whoever’s outside to come in.
My cousin’s tear-stained face is what greets me. He barely manages to keep from collapsing on the bed next to me, but Jay’s name falling from his trembling lips is all I need to hear to know what happened.
I reach out and pull him into the tightest hug I can muster. His arms slip around my back, clinging to me as if I’m a lifeline, his blond head hiding in my shoulder. I close my eyes, resting my chin on his shoulder in return, and listen to the sobs coming both from him, and from the room across the hall.
With Jay gone, the monastery feels much too quiet. I hadn’t thought it was possible for a place to be too quiet. Guess I was wrong.
I actually find myself missing his constant jokes, even though I never really got them. Nya barely comes out of her room all day until around three in the afternoon. Even then, she looks like a shell of her usual self. I can understand why. Her brother, the brother she’d lived with her whole life, who for ten years was very nearly the only person she had to rely on, had just left. Right after a good friend died. And on top of that, her…boyfriend? Crush? I’m not entirely certain what he is to her anymore. He left too.
Cole’s quiet throughout the day, always looking like he’s thinking hard about something. For some reason, the expression makes my heart ache, and I can’t prevent an overwhelming sense of foreboding from growing.
It’s around five that I pass his room and see him packing. I can’t say I’m surprised. I’m not. Even so, it feels like the knife already in my heart was just twisted.
The fact that he’s not wearing his gi, instead wearing jeans, a shirt, and jacket, just makes it all the more real. He lays his DX gi out on the bed and stares at it silently.
I knock on the door frame softly.
His quiet laugh is very half-hearted, “Hey, Ro…” I almost smile when he knows it's me.
Instead I move to sit on the end of the bed, staring at the gray walls, “You promised…”
“I know…I know…” he takes a deep breath and sits next to me. “This isn’t forever. I’ll come back. I just…I just need some time to process everything…and some time to…to figure out how I feel.” He winces. “It hurts.”
“Yeah, it does…” I close my eyes.
“I won’t be like Morro,” he murmurs. “Even-even if I ultimately choose friendship between us. I won’t be like him.”
I nod. I want to speak, tell him it’s okay, that I understand. But even when I open my mouth, my throat closes up.
I feel him hesitate before he reaches out and hugs me. I blink and bury my face in his shoulder, returning the embrace weakly. I’ll miss you. I’ll miss you all. But all that comes out of my mouth is a shaky breath. So instead I just let myself breathe, let the earthy scent from his jacket ground me while I’m here.
I stand at the door even after he left the Monastery grounds, watching the horizon, but not seeing it.
“He left, didn’t he?” Nya’s hoarse whisper makes me look. She avoids my eyes. I choose not to acknowledge that that’s the first time I’ve heard her speak today.
“He said he needed time. That he’ll be back,” I look out the door again, wishing that I could enjoy the beauty of the scenery, instead of zeroing in on the ache in my chest.
“I get that…” she sighs, reaching up to rub her eyes, and mirrors my position on the other side of the door. We stand there in silence for a few moments. I wish I could truthfully say it’s a comfortable one.
“Who’s gonna tell Lloyd?” she murmurs.
“I will…” I sigh, closing my eyes. “You should drink some water.” The ghost of a smile flashes over her face, and she nods. “Just…give me a minute.”
Nya nods again, and moves to leave, then pauses, “Hey…Rose…?”
“Hm?”
“I’m…I’m sorry…about…everything.” I look over at her. She finally turns to meet my eyes, and yeah, yeah, I believe she is.
“It’s okay,” I shrug. “It…wasn’t entirely your fault.”
She huffs, although another near smile ghosts across her face. Then she heads for the kitchen.
I stay where I am until the sun is in my eyes and beginning to turn the sky shades of orange and red. Only then do I give myself a shake and go to my cousin’s room.
The door’s open, so I just stand there. He looks up. Turns out I didn’t need to say anything. My expression must have said it for me. My cousin’s face crumples, but he doesn’t cry. Maybe he has no tears left to cry. He just closes the comic (I suspect he wasn’t actually reading, just staring at the pages blankly), and pulls his knees to his chest with a heavy sigh.
I move to sit next to him, so our shoulders are pressed together. For a long time, he stays tense. But then he slowly releases a breath and moves to rest his head on my shoulder.
“I miss them,” he whispers. “They only just left, but I miss them.”
“Me too,” I reply. “Me too.” I only leave when Bizarro looks in, and Lloyd accepts her extended hand, accepts the comforting embrace she offers.
When I go to bed that night, my dam finally breaks. Zane’s death, Kai’s sudden departure, Jay following his lead the very next day, and finally Cole…
There was a time I had only one friend who left. I’d thought that hurt a lot. I hadn’t wanted to grow close to anyone new in case it happened again. Now look where I am.
Shaking like a leaf in a storm, desperately trying to muffle my cries with my pillow, and my heart aching more than I could’ve imagined. Why God? Why? Why did all this have to happen? I can’t tell if I called the questions aloud or if they were just in my mind. I’m tired, I’m so, so tired. Oh, God, please let this all be a nightmare.
I don’t even realize my father’s come in until his arms wrap around me, pulling me into a sitting position, and holding me close. I bury my face in his chest, not able to resist if I wanted to, and cry. I feel him caress my hair softly as I struggle to breathe normally. The scent of tea and incense swirls around me, and it’s strangely calming.
Once my sobs have diminished to an occasional sniffle as I lean on him, he speaks, voice hushed, almost pained, “‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.’ ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.’ ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.’ ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’”
I breathe in, wiping my eyes, and murmur in response, “‘My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.’” And even though it still hurts, and they’re still gone, the moon comes out from the clouds, shining down on us, and its cool light seems to fill me with an unexplainable peace. Perhaps it’s merely because I’ve no tears left to cry. Perhaps it’s knowing my family is still here. But I know that it’s from a source that will always be there, no matter what happens.
I put my trust in you, God. And though everything feels hopeless…I know this is all part of the plan.