Chapter Text
“ Progress towards reform you’ve none. ”
“All I want’s to have some fun."
Bill idly traded rhymes with the Axolotl as they usually did in their regular meetings. How often were the regular meetings again? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly? Bill couldn’t remember. What meaning could that possibly hold anyway in this place, this theraprison outside of time.
“ A different approach may be what you need. ”
Bill’s brow furrowed. As much as his eyelid could be a brow that could furrow. “If you’re thinking of making me try art therapy again I will actually kill myself.” A tense silence hung between them until a sigh emitted from Bill with a weak glow and he completed the rhyme. “...with speed.”
The Axolotl began to withdraw and Bill found himself missing the closeness. Not that he liked the stupid frilly fish or nothing. He wasn’t lonely . He didn’t need physical closeness with another being. It was just. Warm. Warmer than his cell, anyway.
“ A different form, a different time. ”
“We’ve all heard this one already, Frills! Where are you going, already sick of my company sublime?” It wasn’t panic creeping into his voice. It wasn’t. Ax had just never left early before and that—that was different. Not worrying, but new. “You ain’t giving up on me, are ya?”
“ It has been decided, after much review. ”
“Hey! I didn’t say ‘ you ’, I said ‘ya’ ! It’s a colloquialism from—” New Jersey. “Well, from lots of places, but it certainly don’t rhyme with ‘review’. Cheater, are ya?” Bill reasserted his challenge.
The Axolotl seemed to consider this.
“ You are being sent to Gravity Falls, Oregon, America. ”
A bit long, but a fair enough rhyme.
Wait. What?
He had no time to ask his question before he was falling. Falling and falling and falling and he expected the starry void in which he usually met with the Axolotl to fade into something else but it didn’t, the stars stayed overhead as the wind rushed past his ears.
Ears?
Again he had no time to contemplate this. He fell hard into the branch of a pine tree, rolling down slightly before falling off and crashing into another and repeating the process ad infinitum until finally, blissfully, he reached the ground with a spine-tingling thwack. Spine? Ears? What is he, human?
Oh god. Oh Frills, what’ve you done? Bill stared in horror at the trembling human hand held in front of his eyes. Eyes, plural! His gaze caught on the orange sleeve at his wrist. No. NO. Humiliation of humiliations. Ax had made him disgustingly human and yet he was still wearing the fucking jumpsuit.
Okay. Okay. Not a problem. Magic solves all problems, obviously. Bill (clumsily) snapped his gross human fingers.
Nothing happened.
He let out a scream of frustration, trying to tear the stupid jumpsuit off his stupid human body but the stupid extra fingers kept getting in the way. Fine his motor skills were not.
The creak of a nearby door caused Bill to freeze, looking up from where he had fallen to the forest floor, slightly winded from his fight against the marigold monstrosity. Peering through the trees, he saw that Ax had dropped him just at the edge of the forest. Right outside the Mystery Shack.
And standing on that godforsaken porch, eyes squinting into the dark of the surrounding woods, was Stanford Pines. Or maybe Stanley, actually. He couldn’t tell from this far. The outfit would have him believe it was Stanford but HAH you really couldn’t trust the CLOTHES, now could ya?!
Bill grit his teeth against the way his heart leapt into his throat at the sight of the man. Not his heart, he amended, staying perfectly still so as not to draw the man’s eyes. His—some other organ. The one for rage, whichever that one was.
Seeing nothing, the man—maybe Stanford—retreated back into the shack. Bill felt his muscles relax although he had not told them to do so. He frowned down at them. He frowned at the shack. He frowned up at the stars through the trees. Why had Frills dropped him here ? In Gravity Falls, sure. But why not in town or better yet, at his statue. Why the Mystery Shack of all places? Did the Axolotl expect him to approach them? Bill laughed aloud at the thought. Ax actually thought that Bill was going to go asking for help from them? His worst enemies? The ones responsible for his downfall? His DEATH? Yeah, no. Bill Cipher does not grovel. He also doesn’t know the first thing about being human, sure. But he can figure it out. All by himself. Without any magic. (Oh boy. But still.)
Bill turned his back on the Mystery Shack and walked away.