do you see me (does anyone care)

by JaredKleinmansHalfEatenBathbomb

Summary:

peter is one year older and wanda is still dead. he misses his twin and accidentally reveals he's eriks kid so he locks in and tells him the truth

short and sweet dadneto and quickson

Notes:

• For deflated_leaf.

title from ode to my family by the cranberries

I did actually write this as a short story for school cause I'm super cool and my teacher let me write xmen fanfiction instead of an original story and so on sunday night I sat down and blacked out and then four hours later I woke up and had 1.6k words in docs so I hope you like it

could be seen as a prequel to my other xmen fic

this is for leaf who always lets me send my fic idas his way and then pics which one I write next I love you

Peter hates his birthday. He hasn’t had a pleasant one since he was twelve and Wanda made him a walkman that didn’t slow down when he went into super speed. He still has it. It’s the only one he uses.

 

God, Peter misses Wanda. He misses her so much it hurts. He thinks about her every day. The things they should be doing together, and the things she could be doing by herself that she’ll never get to do because her life was cut short.

 

Today is Peter’s 27th birthday. It’s been almost a year since En Sabah Nur and around seven months since his cast came off, but Peter still feels like something is missing. He could blame that feeling on not telling Erik he’s his father, finding out he has a whole other family from seeing them dead on the news, or even being another year older than his dead twin, but right now it’s mostly that last one.

 

Today was going to be full of celebration and Peter knew it, but right now, alone by the lake at Xavier’s, the clock just having struck midnight, Peter could sulk. He was allowed to sulk now because he wouldn’t be able to later when people would be around and wishing him a “Happy Birthday!” It is not a happy birthday. It will never be a happy birthday ever again because his sister is not here to enjoy it with him.

 

Maybe Peter’s being dramatic but he’s too consumed by his own grief to care at the moment. He’s also too consumed by his grief to notice Erik Lehnsherr coming up behind him. “Do you mind if I join you?”

 

Peter is startled out of his thoughts at his father’s words. “Um, sure?” Why is Erik up? Why is he out here? They were a quarter-mile from the school on Charles’ giant estate so why is it that when Peter is wallowing in his sorrow and thinking about death and family that the embodiment of death and family for him shows up?

 

Erik sits a few feet from Peter and looks out on the water as Peter stares at him. This is just awkward. Is this awkward? Am I overthinking it or is this awkward? Peter clears his throat and speaks, “So, what’s got you up?”

 

“I could ask you the same, Peter.” Erik counters.

 

Peter huffs a laugh and looks out over the lake. “Couldn’t sleep.”

 

“You seem to have trouble sleeping often.” Erik actually seems… interested? Concerned? It’s odd. Why would Erik feel concern for him?

 

“I don’t need much sleep with my mutation. I go fast so everything about me goes fast. Sleep, healing, running, you know.” The one thing that seems to go slow is grief.

 

“Is that the only reason?” Erik inquires.

 

No. “No.”

 

“Would you like to talk about it?” Erik seems sincere but Peter is already hurting and he might just cry if his father genuinely cares about him enough to know something as trivial as why he can't sleep, and Peter just doesn’t trust it.

 

“Do you actually care or are you just asking to make conversation? Cause if you're just trying to make conversation you don’t have to do that.” He's tense as he speaks, his words coming out more aggressively than he means them. Peter doesn’t want to seem rude but if the question had nothing behind it then Peter isn’t going to tell him, because what would be the point?

 

Erik's eyes widen slightly at the outburst. “I'm sorry if you think me ingenuine in my questions, but I am sincere, Peter.”

 

Peter relaxes. “Sorry, I just,” He runs a hand through his messy silver hair and takes a deep breath, “I don’t know. I'm sorry.”

 

“Why are you apologizing? You’ve done nothing wrong.” Peter looks at Erik and then back at the lake. He lays back on the grass and looks towards the stars. I guess I’m opening up to my father. This feels easier than expected.

 

He closes his eyes for a moment and with a heavy sigh begins to speak, “It’s my birthday today.”

 

“Well then, happy birthday, Peter.” Erik smiles at him with something in his eyes akin to fondness.

 

“No. It’s- it’s really not.”

 

Erik frowns at this, “Might I ask why it’s not a happy birthday?”

 

How should Peter even begin? How should he tell his father that he has another dead child? Peter is the only living child this man has and he doesn’t even know it. What a disappointment he is. A kleptomaniac adult who lived in his mom's basement til he was 26 and even though he’s the fastest man alive he was still too late when it mattered. He couldn’t save Erik’s family and he couldn’t save Wanda. Peter doesn’t know how to tell Erik any of that though so he starts with the question he was asked. “Her name was Wanda.”

 

“Who?” Erik looks down at Peter lying in the grass as he speaks. It’s clear this subject pains the boy to talk about so Erik is going to try his best to keep the hyperactive speedster on point.

 

“My sister. My twin- I mean. I still have a younger sister. We’re half-siblings but Wanda was my twin. She would have been 27 today. She should have been 27 today.”

 

“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much but I truly am.”

 

“That means… more than you know.” Peter gives the man above him a small smile, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

 

“Tell me about her. What was she like?” Erik knows how hard it is to talk about those lost, he still can’t talk about Nina, but he knows Peter needs this.

 

“What was she like? God, she was- she was the best. She was so smart and so beautiful. Her mutation was so special Erik; she could manipulate reality into whatever she wanted. It was incredible. She created the coolest things. She was incredible.” Peter began crying as he spoke, “I guess one day her powers became too much for her, and she-” He chokes on his words and sits up, “She sorta just imploded. There was nothing anyone could do. There was nothing I could do and so I just screamed. God, we were twelve, Erik! I screamed and screamed until our mom found me choking on my own breaths and-” Peter’s words were cut off as a pair of strong arms wrapped around him. He hugged the man back and sobbed into Erik’s shoulder until his tears ran dry.

 

Erik ran his fingers through Peter’s hair in an attempt to calm him, his grief overwhelming. He was reminded of Nina as he comforted the young man in his arms. He knew the feeling of losing family all too well and could sympathize with Peter easily.

Peter pulled away and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt pulled over his hands, “I’m sorry”

 

Erik rebuked the apology immediately, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Peter. There is no shame in grieving. Grief is proof of love, and you so obviously loved your sister.”

 

Peter felt like crying again at that alone, dear God. Erik would have loved Wanda if he had gotten the chance to meet her. He lost another daughter before he even got to meet her. Oh my God. Erik lost another kid before he even knew she existed. And at that thought Peter did start crying again. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry Erik”

 

“For what Peter? What could you possibly be sorry for?” Erik was so confused.

 

“You lost another child before you even knew she existed,” Peter hadn’t even realized what he said until he heard the cold “What” come out of the man next to him. Peter knew he messed up the second he noticed the tone shift.

 

“This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, Erik, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Peter, what do you mean? What are you talking about?” Erik spoke calmly yet seemingly coldly as he tried to understand. He was confused and starting to get angry at the mention of his dead daughter.

 

Peter realizes he can't back out now, wipes his tears, and turns to face his father fully. It’s now or never. “My mother’s name was Magda Maximoff.” Erik’s breath hitches. “You and her were together in Romania but she left before she told you about me and Wanda because she was scared of you. She died during childbirth, and Wanda and I lived with her sister and moved to the States when we were young. My- My real name is Pietro. I was named after-”

 

Erik cuts him off already knowing the answer, “My grandfather.”

 

The two stare at each other for what feels like an eternity (especially to Peter) but is in reality only a few seconds before Erik tentatively reaches out and cups Peter’s face in his hands. He searches his face for any deceit but knows with his whole heart, mind, and soul that Peter is telling the truth. “Mein sohn.” Tears spring to Erik's eyes as he holds his child’s face in his hands. His living child’s face. The realization that Erik still has family overwhelms his emotions. To have a child who has lived to see adulthood… To have a living, breathing relative means everything to Erik; family means everything to Erik. He wants to know everything about Peter, and as he brings his newfound child into his arms he never wants to let go.

Notes:

this is kinda ass but im forever spreading my "erik is a good father to pietro" agenda cause I binged wolverine and the xmen and got so angry at erik that I literally had to stop watching when I only had three episodes left like tf you mean erik disowned his son for not being good enough for his cause when wanda and lorna do literally nothing for it like UGH and don't even get me STARTED on the comics

I have like almost 200 words I took out and put in a separate doc while I was writing this cause I felt like it didin't fit but I wanna do something with it so we'll see if anything happens there

um that's whatever... I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS UM SORRY IF YOU DIDNT I GUESS??