OnK : Growing up

by Insane_98

Summary:

Book 2 of OnK : Rewrite Series.

Surviving the attack changed everything for Ai Hoshino. Once the “perfect idol” who could lie with a smile, she now refuses the stage entirely. trading the spotlight for the hope of a quiet life where her children.
Aqua is certain the man who tried to kill Ai is the same one who ended his own past life. Convinced that someone powerful, and close to Ai, is pulling the strings, he spends years investigating the truth.
Ruby, meanwhile, is learning to dance despite the fear her frail body left behind from her first life, finding both confidence and comfort in her mother’s guidance.

Beyond the Hoshino home, others are growing up too — some breaking under the weight of their dreams, others bending until they find a new path. Arima Kana faces the cruel silence of a fading career. Akane Kurokawa learns that hard work alone doesn’t always earn the spotlight. Memcho hides her age and her dreams behind a camera lens, hoping it will be enough.

And behind the scenes, Hikaru Kamiki beings his own crusade. One that will leave a trail of blood behind him, and a chilling vow on his lips - Their days are numbered.

Chapter 1: A Rough Childhood

Summary:

How Ai ended up in the orphanage.

Ai wandered aimlessly through the streets, her footsteps echoing in the afternoon silence. School had ended an hour ago, but she took her time, deliberately prolonging her journey home. Her fingers twisted around the worn straps of her backpack as she scanned the ground, occasionally kicking loose pebbles just to watch them skitter across the pavement.

School was its own kind of prison. The other kids treated her like an outcast, and the feeling of isolation followed her through every minute of every day. Making friends seemed as impossible as touching the stars – not that she wanted to anymore. She had learned that lesson. 

But at least school provided eight precious hours away from her mother's apartment.

Eight hours never lasted long enough and eventually she had to return home, where else would she go?

The sun was sinking lower in the sky when her feet finally carried her to the rundown apartment building she called home. Each step up the cramped stairwell felt heavier than the last.

As she approached their first-floor apartment, she noticed the door was already open. Through the gap, she could see the living room couch and the man lounging on it – her mother's latest boyfriend. Not her father.

Ai slipped inside, trying to make herself as small and silent as possible. But she was noticed by the man.

"Ah, you're home?" He turned away from the soccer match blaring on the TV, his smile too wide, too eager. "Welcome home, Ai."

She didn't return his greeting and instead asked, "Where's mom?"

"We ran out of miso. She went to buy some," he answered with that unsettling smile still plastered across his face.

"Okay," she whispered, already turning toward her room.

Her bedroom was a mess, clothes and books scattered everywhere, but she never bothered organising her stuff — she knew where everything was anyway, and besides, what was the point?

"Ai!" His voice boomed from the living room. "There's dishes in the kitchen sink. Your mother asked you to take care of them."

Of course. The chores were always left for her. 

Ever since her mother had found this new boyfriend eight months ago, she'd been spending less time taking care of the house and more time hanging off his arm, laughing at his jokes, pretending they were some perfect couple. Slowly leaving more and more chores to her.

Ai threw her backpack in its usual corner and changed into more comfortable clothes before stepping into the kitchen and dragging the stepping stool to the sink.

She stepped up, her hands now on the right height for her to work comfortably. She picked up a dirty dish to scrub, that's when she heard the man again, "Your mother makes you work a lot huh?"

She responded with a noncommittal hmm and turned on the tap, hoping the sound of running water would discourage conversation.

She heard him stand up, his footsteps heavy against the cold floor as he approached. Soon he was standing right behind her, watching as she scrubbed at a stubborn food stain. The smell of alcohol hung thick in the air between them.

Her shoulders tensed as his cold hand settled on one of them. "Your mother doesn't appreciate you enough," he said softly, his fingers moving in what he probably thought was a comforting pattern. "Look how great you are at doing your chores."

She didn't know how to push him away. He had always tried to be friendly, always hovering too close, but this was the first time he had touched her. And she tried her best to ignore him — she had been doing that ever since she met him.

"Can you let me work–" Ai tried to sound firm, but her voice came out smaller than she intended.

"I'm not doing anything," he said, his other hand finding her opposite shoulder. "Just appreciating how much you do around here."

"... I have to or mama will be angry." Her eyes remained fixed on her hands, which had started to tremble slightly.

"That's what I'm saying. Your mother should appreciate you more," his voice was soft, but it sent a shiver down her spine.

Ai froze, trapped between his hands and the counter. For what felt like an eternity, neither of them moved. Her mind raced but her body remained still, caught between fight and flight.

Then, the sound of the door opening in the silence startled her. His hands vanished from her shoulders and they both turned to see Ai's mother in the doorway. She took two steps inside before stopping abruptly. "What are you doing?" there was a hint of anger in her voice.

"Nothing... just wanted to see if Ai here needed any help," he said, backing away.

Ai turned her head back to the sink, her hands moving mechanically as her mother's voice rose with anger.

"Akui! Get your ass here, right now!"

He shuffled over to her. "I wasn't doing anything," he protested.

Ai squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out their argument while forcing herself to keep washing dishes. She knew from experience that unfinished chores would only make things worse.

Their shouts quickly filled the room, sharp and merciless. Her mother kept accusing him of trying to cheat on her, he denied until he could, but she wouldn't back down even after repeatedly telling her otherwise. Then, he shifted the blame.

"...ask her! She is the one swaying her hips!" he shouted, jabbing a finger in Ai's direction.

The sharp crack of her mother's hand across his face echoed through the apartment. "Get out!" she screamed.

Ai peeked from the corner of her eye. 

He retaliated immediately, striking her mother back. Before the situation could escalate further, her mother's voice cut through the room, "I'll call the cops for what you just did!"

His raised hand froze mid-air. A sneer twisted his face as he lowered it. "I don't want to live with you and your whore of a daughter anyway," he spat, storming out and slamming the door hard enough to rattle the windows.

Ai stood motionless, dirty dish still in hand, as her mother gently touched her reddening cheek.

When her mother's gaze finally found her, there was no warning before she stormed over to her and the strike came across her face – hard enough to knock her off the stepping stool and onto the kitchen floor.

"You…" her mother seethed, "What the fuck were you trying to do?"

Ai pressed her palms against the cold kitchen floor, struggling to sit up. "I was cleaning the dishes!" she protested.

"You're such a woman now? Trying to seduce my boyfriend?" The accusations came with more slaps, each one harder than the last.

"No!" Ai tried to defend herself, but her mother wasn't listening. She curled into herself on the floor, arms raised to protect herself as the blows kept coming, accompanied by her mother's increasingly incoherent rants about her boyfriend.

"I didn't do anything…" Ai whimpered, lying on the floor covering herself with her arms, her body curled up.

Her mother stood, delivering a sharp kick to Ai's side. "If I see you anywhere near my man ever again, I will lock you up in your room! You hear me, you little bitch?"

"I won't..." Ai managed to groan, with a cough.

With a final huff, her mother turned away. "Get those dishes done quickly!" she ordered and collapsed down on the couch, digging through her purse for a cigarette.

Ai pulled herself up slowly, her cheeks burning and her side throbbing where she had fallen. A sharp pain shot through her right thigh where her mother's kick had landed, but she could still stand.

She had to get the dishes done, or something even worse awaited her, probably. Her mother was in a worse mood today than all the other times she had fought with him. This wasn't the first time and she knew he would eventually be back.

- x - 

 

Ai wandered the streets aimlessly, her footsteps light against the pavement as she nudged a small pebble along her path. Just another day. School was in session, but she couldn't be bothered. The kids there didn't want her around, and her mother didn't care whether she went or not. But still, she wasn't about to let her find out she was skipping school.

Hours went by as she just wandered along the city streets, restless and indifferent. She let her feet guide her, drifting between familiar streets and quiet alleyways, watching the world move around her. The scent of freshly-baked bread from a corner shop mixed with the distant tang of car exhaust. A cat lazed on a windowsill, its tail flicking in the sunlight.

By the time her wandering lost its charm, her feet had already turned her homeward. And, for once, she didn't dread the walk home.

Her mother had been spending more and more time outside ever since that fight with her boyfriend. Surprisingly, he hadn't come back. Before, he always did — usually within a day or two, dragging his lazy butt and cigarette smoke back through the door. But this time, it was like he was gone for good.

And Ai had the whole apartment to herself.

She climbed the stairs, taking them two at a time, and reached for the doorknob. 

It didn't turn. Locked — a good sign. 

Her mother wasn't home and wouldn't be back until late at night.

The key was where it always was — tucked under the doormat. She scooped it up, slid it into the lock, and stepped inside.

For the first time in ages, the air smelled relatively clean. No cigarette stench clinging to the walls, no sharp, stale reek hanging in the corners. The apartment felt… lighter.

Her stomach grumbled, a quiet protest after a day of aimless wandering. She kicked off her shoes, tossed her backpack aside, and made her way to the kitchen. She wasn't expecting much, but the empty shelves still managed to disappoint. No vegetables. No tofu. No eggs. Not even miso — she'd used the last of it yesterday and her mother hadn't restocked anything in a while.

With a sigh, she grabbed the stepping stool and dragged it to the cupboard above the sink. She stretched onto her toes, fingers grazing the edge of a half-forgotten stash of instant noodles. There was cup ramen too. 

Perfect.

She pulled out a cup with a flavor she didn't recognize. The packaging looked interesting. 

She pushed the stepping stool over to the kitchen counter and set a pan of water on the stove, and flicked on the burner. As the water heated, she darted into the living room and switched on the TV. It wasn't time for Power Rangers yet, but reruns of the old episodes were still playing.

Even better.

She'd missed a lot — this was her chance to catch up.

Ai hurried back to the kitchen, turned off the stove, and carefully poured just enough water into the cup. She pressed the lid down and pinned it shut with her chopsticks and stepped back in the living room.

The TV screen flickered with bright colors and dramatic music. The rangers posed, the explosions behind them blooming in perfect synchronization. No matter how many times she saw it, it never got old.

She plopped onto the couch, cup in hand, and peeled back the lid. Steam curled into the air, carrying the scent of spice and umami. Her mouth watered instantly. She separated her chopsticks, gave the noodles a quick stir, and lifted the first bite.

She blew gently, then slurped. The heat, the salt, the familiar comfort — it was just right.

Another explosion lit up the screen. Ai grinned, twirling her chopsticks between bites.

Today was a good day.

Ai slurped the last of her noodles, savoring the warm broth as it spread through her belly. The empty cup balanced on her knees as she watched the Power Rangers on TV strike their final victory pose. The villain collapsed in an explosion of sparks and smoke, accompanied by dramatic music. The familiar end credits started rolling, their cheerful tune filling the small living room.

She let herself sink deeper into the couch. The cushions were hard and a bit lumpy, with a spring that sometimes poked through, but she had found the perfect spot where it didn't bother her.

The apartment was quiet now, save for the hum of commercials on TV. No arguing, no slamming doors, no heavy footsteps pacing the floor, no tension hanging in the air like invisible smoke.

Just silence.

Her eyes drifted to the clock on the wall – 4:50 PM. Still early. She still had hours before her mother would barge in the house and start yelling. These were the moments she treasured most, when the apartment felt like it belonged to her alone.

She stood up and stretched, her joints popping slightly. The empty noodle cup went into the garbage bin. The kitchen sink was empty today, no towers of unwashed dishes waiting for her small hands. The counters were clean, the floor swept. No chores hanging over her head, no race against time before her mother returned home.

Outside, from the balcony door the clear sky called to her. She slid the glass door open, welcoming the rush of fresh air. Her hands found their familiar spots on the cool metal railing as she looked down at the street below. 

The world moved on without her – people chattering as they walked past, the cheerful ring of bicycle bells, a light blue kei truck puttering along delivering packages. A group of kids her age passed by, wearing the same school uniform as her, their bags swinging carelessly as they laughed about something she couldn't hear.

Time slipped by as she watched, the sky painting itself in new colors. Blue faded to orange. The sun disappeared behind the buildings, leaving long shadows that stretched across the street like reaching fingers.

Maybe she'd go out later, she thought. Walk around the block, check if the convenience store had discounted bentos for the evening. The nice clerk sometimes gave her an extra discount if she came late enough. 

Or maybe she'd just stay here, in this peaceful moment where nothing hurt and nothing was expected of her.

Though, her peace was soon disturbed by the knock on the front door.

Her heart jumped into her throat — her mother usually stayed out until late night these days. Was she home early today? Has something happened?

Another knock, harder this time, made her flinch.

Her feet carried her to the door slowly, each step careful and silent from years of practice. Her hand hesitated on the knob before turning it. And to her surprise, it wasn't her mother.

Instead, two police officers stood in the doorway, their uniforms neat and official, their expressions carefully neutral.

"Are you Ai Hoshino?" one asked, his voice gentler than she expected.

She nodded, her voice barely a whisper. "Mama's not home..."

The officers exchanged a look that made her stomach tighten. "Your mother was arrested earlier today for shoplifting," the first officer explained. "She'll be spending some time in jail. Do you have any other family members? Father? Any relatives?"

Ai shook her head. There had never been anyone else.

"No one? Any family friends we can contact?" the second officer asked.

She shook her head again.

"I guess that woman wasn't lying," he muttered to his partner with sympathy in his voice.

"But she's a repeat offender, we can't just let her off with a warning this time," his partner replied.

"What do we do now?"

"Let me make a call..." The first officer pulled out his phone, stepping slightly away.

Ai stood in the doorway, fingers idly playing with the door's edge. This wasn't the first time her mother had been arrested, but something felt different about today. She caught fragments of the phone conversation— 

"Sir… Yes, she wasn't lying… Just a child here and she claims they have no relatives… About 8, maybe 9… Right. Yes… 6 months? Okay… Understood."

The officer ended his call and turned to his partner. "Sir told us to get her to a foster care home. They can take care of her until her mother is released."

His partner nodded and addressed Ai with what he probably thought was a reassuring smile. "Okay little girl, we'll take you to a new home. Go grab all the stuff you want, okay?"

"But... mama?" The question slipped out before she could stop it, more out of fear than concern.

"Mama's got herself in a little trouble and she will be back in six months. You understand that, right?"

Ai nodded. She understood more than they probably thought she did.

She walked back to her bedroom to pack her bag just as the cops asked. Clothes went into her school bag at random, her hands moving automatically while her mind spun in circles.

Six months without her mother's anger, without walking on eggshells, without her boyfriend in the apartment. Six months somewhere else – which was both scary and, in a way she didn't want to examine too closely, a relief.

She paused in her frantic packing, looking around her tiny room. For the first time, the familiar chaos of her space felt foreign — she wasn't sure what stuff she would need, and where everything was. Soon, her bag was almost full with a few pairs of clothes and school notebooks.

Her eyes caught on a stack of manga in the corner. She shuffled through them until she found an old volume of Doraemon – she never did finish it. The book slid into her bag alongside her clothes. Another moment of looking around when she was sure she wouldn't need anything else, she put on her bag.

The officers were waiting by the front door when she returned, their patience starting to wear thin.

"Ready?" one asked.

Ai nodded, though she didn't feel ready.

She turned back for one last look at the apartment. The empty kitchen where she had spent so many hours doing dishes. The couch still held the impression of where she had been sitting, watching TV just minutes ago.

The quiet she'd been enjoying earlier now felt different – not heavy exactly, just... final. This place had been her home, not because of her mother, but because she'd learned how to exist here, how to find moments of peace in between the chaos.

And then she stepped outside, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

Ai sat in the back seat of the cop car, watching the city blur past, her hands curled around the straps of her bag. The buildings grew smaller, the streets quieter. Before she knew it, they had arrived. The ride to the orphanage felt quicker with her mind wandering.

The cops led her through the entrance, their grip on her hand light but firm. The air inside was different from home — cleaner, fresher, almost unfamiliar. It didn't smell like cigarette smoke or stale takeout. Instead, there was something else — detergent, maybe, and a faint scent of miso soup.

A young woman approached them. She looked tired, her ponytail slightly messy. But she still moved with energy.

The cop spoke first, gesturing at Ai, "This little girl will be staying for a while. Her mother was arrested for shoplifting and she'll come pick her up in six months."

The woman nodded. "I'm a volunteer here, I can show her around while you can talk to the people incharge. They're in the office — down the hall, to the left," she pointed.

The cops gave Ai a gentle push before leaving her with the woman. She crouched down to her level and greeted, "Hello, I'm Hana, it's nice to meet you, what's your name?" she smiled.

"Ai…" she whispered back.

"You have a lovely name, Ai." The woman offered her a hand, "So you'll be staying here for a while, huh? Let's get you settled then."

Ai hesitated and stood there, clutching the straps to her bag. After a long pause when she didn't take her hand, slowly and awkwardly Hana pulled her hand back. "Okay…" she said, keeping the lightness in her tone, "follow me then."

Ai nodded and walked after her.

The orphanage was bigger than she thought it would be. Fourteen rooms between two floors, and four kids per room. Hana gave her an impromptu tour as they walked — pointing out the dining hall, the common area, the bathrooms. Laughter echoed from another hallway, but Ai didn't see where it came from. The place felt lived-in, but not in the same way as home. It was cleaner, warmer.

They reached one of the shared bedrooms on the ground floor, which had an unoccupied bed.

"That bed in the corner is all yours," Hana said, pointing to the bed with white sheets and an empty nightstand beside it.

The other beds had colorful blankets, stuffed animals, and comic books stacked on desks. The room was clean, but the idea of sharing it with three other kids — she wasn't sure how to feel about that.

She quietly walked over and tossed her bag onto the bed before hopping up. The mattress bounced slightly beneath her, firm but soft.

"If you need anything, just let me know, okay?" Hana said.

Ai was quiet for a moment. Then, finally, "Water," she said.

Hana blinked. "Huh — oh! Yeah, of course, one sec." She turned and left, returning quickly with a bottle.

Ai took it without hesitation and drank. More than she probably should have in one go. The coolness soothed her dry throat, but her stomach clenched, as if bracing for something.

She set the half-empty bottle on the nightstand and lay down, shutting her eyes.

Hana lingered for a moment, watching her, then seemed to decide against saying anything else. Instead, she gave a small nod to herself and quietly stepped away, leaving Ai to rest.

- x -

 

It had been a few days since Ai arrived at the orphanage. The absence of yelling, slamming doors, or the suffocating smell of cigarette smoke felt strange, almost unsettling. There was no one to scold her for unfinished chores, no one who'd take out their anger on her. It should have been a relief, but instead, it left her feeling untethered, like a boat adrift in an unfamiliar sea.

Her bed was as messy as her futon back home, the sheets tangled and her clothes were the only color against the white bed. The nightstand, however, looked oddly organized — not because she had put effort into arranging things, but because there was so little to arrange.

Her clothes were stuffed in the drawer without any care, the old volume of Doaremon sat atop of the nightstand and her bag slumped by the foot of the bed. She hadn't brought much else. Even forgot her toothbrush in the rush to leave. 

The caretakers had noticed and brought her a new one. Their kindness felt odd but she accepted it.

The other kids seemed friendly enough, their laughter echoing through the halls. But Ai knew better. Friendliness always came with a price, and she wasn't willing to pay it. She kept her distance, retreating to her bed whenever someone got too close. Their attempts to talk to her were met with tiny hums or silence, and most of them had given up after a day or two. 

In a way, she was grateful. They respected her distance, leaving her alone in her corner of the world.

Ai hadn't seen Hana since her arrival, but today, the woman walked through the doors of the orphanage, greeted by a chorus of enthusiastic greetings from the kids. 

Hana quickly tied on her apron and got to work, helping with chores and preparing dinner. Hours later, she found Ai curled up on her bed, still in her school uniform, looking the same as the day she first met her.

"You're not playing with the others?" Hana asked, her voice soft but persistent.

Ai turned her head slightly, her eyes flickering toward Hana before dropping back to the floor.

Hana sat down beside her on the bed, "I know how you feel," she said gently. "New places can be overwhelming. But everyone here is kind. They all want to get to know you."

Ai stayed silent, twisting the hem of her skirt between her fingers.

Hana studied her for a moment, her brow furrowing. Her face looked dry, her hair a tangled, slightly matted mess, as if she hadn't moved from the bed since Hana had last seen her.

"When was the last time you had a proper bath?" she asked, her tone tinged with concern.

She hadn't bothered — what was the point? She shrugged, but the woman wasn't having it. Before Ai could protest, she was being gently guided to the bathroom, with fresh towels and clean clothes in hand.

Meanwhile, Hana folded Ai's crumpled clothes, neatly organizing them in the drawers. She tidied the bed, replacing the sheets and covers.

Ai returned looking fresh with a trail of sweet shampoo scent following her.

The woman put her hands on her hips with a satisfied smile, "Doesn't that feel better?"

Ai nodded slightly. She had to admit — the clean clothes felt nice against her freshly scrubbed skin.

Throughout the rest of the day, Hana gently nudged her towards other children, creating small opportunities for interaction without forcing them.

The evening arrived, and the dining hall buzzed with the clatter of plates and the hum of conversation. The staff served dinner — steaming bowls of rice, miso soup, and a simple side of vegetables. It wasn't fancy, but the warm, comforting smell filled the room, making Ai's stomach growl softly.

Hana took a seat beside Ai, her presence a quiet reassurance. The other kids chattered excitedly, sharing stories from their week. One boy proudly displayed the scar on his elbow from a fall, while another boasted about mastering a new karate move. A girl talked about her progress in drawing, her eyes lighting up as she described her latest sketch.

Ai listened quietly, eating her dinner. Their stories felt foreign, like glimpses into a world she had never been part of. Yet, there was something oddly comforting about the way they shared their lives so openly.

Hana turned to her, her voice gentle. "And what about you, Ai? What did you do all week?"

She stared at her bowl, her fingers tightening around her chopsticks. "Nothing…" she murmured. It wasn't entirely false. Her days had been a blur of quiet solitude, spent mostly in her bed or staring out the window.

Hana nodded, she knew that adjusting to a new place took time, especially after such a drastic change.

The conversation continued, the other kids laughing and talking as they ate. Ai picked at her food, her mind drifting. When dinner ended and the clock struck 9 PM, Hana stood to leave. The kids waved goodbye, and Ai stood among them.

As Hana disappeared through the main gate, one of the kids turned to Ai. "Hey! We're going to watch TV. You wanna join us?"

Ai hesitated for a moment then nodded, following the kids back inside.

The living room was cozy, with a worn couch and a small carpet in front of the TV. One of the kids grabbed the remote, flipping through channels until the opening theme of their favorite show filled the room. Some kids sprawled on the couch, while others sat cross-legged on the carpet. Ai settled into a corner, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them.

The show began, following a girl about her age as she went about her day. She laughed with friends, worried about homework, and stopped at a convenience store to buy ice cream. When she returned home, her mother greeted her with a warm smile, ruffling her hair and asking about her day. The scene shifted to the kitchen, where the mother cooked dinner, her laughter mingling with the sizzle of food on the stove. Later, she rewarded her daughter with a slice of cake for helping with chores.

Ai watched in silence, her chest tightening with each passing moment. The mother's kindness, the daughter's joy — it all felt so unreal.

Mothers like that didn't exist.

Of course they didn't. It was just TV, after all. 

But something about watching that mother daughter bond, made her heart ache, with a longing she couldn't quite understand. She craved that warmth, desire to feel that love, even as she told herself it was nothing more than fiction.

The other kids laughed at the daughter's antics on TV, their voices blending with the cheerful soundtrack of the show. Ai stayed quiet, her eyes fixed on the screen, her mind swirling with thoughts she couldn't put into words.

She allowed herself to wonder — do mothers like that really exist? And why had hers never been anything like that?

- x -

 

Another week had passed, and Ai had warmed up to the other kids — just a little.

She still kept to herself, but before every attempt of the other kids to talk to her would be met with silence or nods, now she managed to speak a little. She would spend less time in her bed and would often explore the building, or just tag along silently with the group of children.

She wasn't allowed to leave the premises without permission and while it felt restrictive, she didn't really mind.

It was Saturday again, and she found herself in the living room with the other children for their weekly ritual. They were clustered around the TV, blankets and pillows scattered across the floor, watching their favorite show about a picture-perfect family. Ai sat at the edge of the group, hugging her knees.

In today's episode, the daughter had fought with her best friend over something trivial – who got to use the swing first at recess. The girl came home in tears, and her mother was there waiting, and welcomed her with gentle words and open arms. She helped her daughter understand her feelings, guided her through an apology, and showed her how to make things right.

When the daughter returned home after making up with her friend, her mother was there again, ready to listen to every detail with a patient smile and a warm hug.

"Wouldn't it be amazing to have a mother like that?" sighed one of the younger girls, hugging a pillow to her chest.

The other kids chimed in, their voices full of longing as they imagined having parents who loved them that way.

"That's not real," Ai found herself saying, the words sharp and sudden in the cozy atmosphere. "Mothers aren't really like that."

The other children turned to her, confused. "Of course they are!" one insisted. "That's what mothers are supposed to be like!"

"No, they're not..." Ai's voice dropped to a whisper. "Mine isn't."

The room fell silent, heavy with surprise, until one child broke it with a gasped question. "You have a mother?!"

"What are you doing here then?" another demanded.

The other kids scooted closer, their eyes wide and eager for an answer. 

"... she… was arrested for shoplifting and she'll come get me in six months…" Ai said.

That was the moment they all learned she wasn't an orphan like them, just staying there until her mother came to pick her up.

"You're so lucky!" one boy exclaimed. "You actually have a mother coming back for you!"

 "But she doesn't love me," Ai insisted, hugging her knees closer to her chest.

"Of course she does!" a girl protested, "She named you Ai — that means love. I heard that parents choose names very carefully. Your mother must have loved you so much to name you Ai."

On screen, the mother was lovingly brushing her daughter's hair. Something twisted in her chest – longing mixed with disbelief. Could mothers really be like that? Could her mother have once wanted that kind of relationship when she named her?

"Maybe she just doesn't know how to show it," another child suggested. "Like in one of the episodes, when the girl couldn't tell her friends she liked them, so she was mean instead?"

"Yeah!" others chimed in. "Maybe your mom just needs you to help her remember how to show love!"

Ai felt something shift inside her as she watched the scene on TV. The mother and daughter were sitting together, the daughter swinging her legs as they both laughed over something she didn't hear.

Her mother had never been like that. But then again, Ai realized with a start, she had never been like that daughter either. Maybe... maybe if she tried harder to be good, to be more like the girl in the show... maybe her mother would learn to be different too. Maybe the love that had inspired her name was still there somewhere, just waiting to be found.

She made a silent promise to herself right then – she would try to be better.

In six months, when her mother came to get her, she would find a different daughter — one who did all her chores on time, attended school properly, got good grades, kept the house clean, and never talked back.

She would become the kind of daughter that could make any mother proud, the kind that would be impossible not to love.

- x -

 

Ai had a goal — to be the perfect daughter, just like the girl from the show everyone loved — Moriyama Family .

She studied the show like a textbook, noting every smile, every "yes, mother," every perfectly completed chore. This was her blueprint for love, her guidebook to earning the affection she desperately craved.

Each morning, she made her bed, smoothing every wrinkle until the surface was as pristine as the one on TV. Her clothes were always neatly folded, her schoolwork completed early, her side of the room spotless. She even learned to iron her own uniform, standing on tiptoes to reach the board, determined to look presentable when her mother finally came.

Soon, six months had passed and Ai kept her small bag packed with most of her belongings. For the first time, she was not dreading being back with her mother but rather felt hopeful that she could turn their relationship around, for good.

The other children watched her transformation with mixed curiosity and excitement. They all wanted to meet Ai's mother as well and had practiced their goodbyes, with promises to be friends even after she would no longer be with them in the orphanage.

Then six months became six months and one day.

Which was okay, she was not told the exact day, all she knew was any day in six months.

The week went by, and she didn't show up. Ai didn't even unpack her bag. Any day now her mother could come and she wouldn't want to keep her waiting — that's not what a good daughter would do.

One week turned to next.

And then another.

Whenever she would begin to lose hope, she would tell herself that she was still her mother — and she would come take her home.

But every passing day became more anxious than the last, and this Saturday marked seven months.

Her mother never came. 

Was she mistaken? No, she clearly remembered the policeman saying six months , they wouldn't lie, would they?... They were police officers.

Ai laid on her perfectly made bed, staring at the ceiling. The room was dimly lit, and it was past 9 PM. Her stomach growled lightly, she hadn't joined the others for dinner tonight, didn't feel like it despite her stomach's protests.

"Ai?" A soft voice cut through her thoughts. One of the girls stood in the doorway, backlit by the hallway lights. "We were going to watch Moriyama Family. You want to join us?"

Ai curled onto her side, facing the wall, her arms wrapping tightly around her middle. "My stomach hurts…" she managed, the words barely a whisper.

"Oh... okay..." The hesitation in the girl's voice was painful to hear.

As footsteps retreated down the hallway, fragments of conversation drifted back to her.

"She's still here? Wasn't her mother supposed to come get her?"

"Do you think she lied?"

"I don't know."

Their voices faded, but their words remained, echoing in the growing darkness of her room. A tear slipped down Ai's cheek, then another, and another, each one carrying away a piece of her carefully constructed dream.

A strange pain arose in her chest, and she pressed her palm to it, as if trying to grip her own heart. She didn't make any sound as tears rolled down her cheeks. The passing days had only confirmed what she already knew deep down.

"I knew mothers like that don't exist…"

- x -

Notes:

Authors Notes : Updates will be a bit slow for the next few chapters until I organise the whole thing.

Up Next - Chapter 2 : A Loving Mother

Chapter 2: A loving Mother

Summary:

Ai had always loved her children, and her children comes first.

Ai stirred at the first notes of her alarm, her hand instinctively reaching to silence it before the sound could disturb the peaceful breathing beside her. Her fingers found the cool surface of her phone, and with a click of the button, the room fell silent again.

She propped herself up on the futon as her eyes adjusted to the room, dimly lit by the morning sun filtering through the window blinds. 

Ruby clutched her stuffed rabbit in one arm, surprisingly still holding onto it even in sleep. Aqua lay flat on his back, his chest rising rhythmically as he breathed. 

Watching her adorable children never failed to make her feel warm.

She carefully got out of the futon, moving the shared blanket as little as she could so as to not disturb them. The clock on the wall read 6:30. Still early.

The floor was cool against her feet as she made her way to the bathroom. She let out a yawn, and then a splash of cold water on her face chased away the last remnants of sleep. After brushing her teeth, she emerged from the bathroom, quietly humming to herself.

With a soft click, she turned on the living room lights and walked into the kitchen. She tied an apron and pulled out the essentials she'd need to prepare today's breakfast.

There were carrots, daikon, fish, miso, and other vegetables — everything she needed. A pot went on the stove with some water, dashi and miso while she chopped some tofu. Then, another saucepan went on the stove, and strips of fish with little oil and seasoning. The sizzling of the fish and the aroma of the miso woke up the entire kitchen.

The rice cooker was on with just the right amount of rice and water. Then she grabbed the chopping board and began slicing the vegetables into bite sized chunks. She wiped her brow with the back of her wrist, feeling the pleasant heat from the stove warming up her cheeks.

"You're up early," came Miyako's sleepy voice behind her.

Ai turned her head, pausing her chopping briefly. Miyako's hair was tousled from sleep, her eyes still heavy-lidded.

"Good morning!" Ai said, "I just wanted to prepare breakfast for Aqua and Ruby before they left for school."

Miyako yawned, "You don't have to push yourself, you know. You just got back yesterday."

"I feel fine, don't worry," Ai smiled and turned her attention back to the half chopped carrot on the board. "Ah— it's seven already! Can you wake up Aqua and Ruby?"

Miyako hummed a nod and disappeared into Ai's room. Moments later, Ai heard Miyako trying to get the kids up, followed by Ruby's sleepy protests. Aqua emerged from the room, sleep-walking towards the bathroom. Ruby soon followed, being shepherded by Miyako.

Once the miso was ready, she set it aside and started on the eggs. Miyako returned and wordlessly stepped in beside Ai and took over grilling the remaining fish, her hands moving with quiet confidence while Ai rolled the tamagoyaki. She wasn't as skilled as Miyako but the eggs came out okay. Then, she reached for the children's bento boxes.

She packed the lunches with love and care, neatly arranging rice and bite-sized tamagoyaki. She cut the carrot slices into star shapes with a cookie cutter, along with cooked and seasoned vegetables and finally the sausages that she cut like octopuses, and she closed the lunchboxes. A nutritious meal for her growing children.

Miyako too was done cooking the fish. Together, they both carried the dishes to the dining area and set the table. 

Aqua and Ruby shuffled in, their faces freshly washed, eyes still heavy with sleep but more awake than before.

They both greeted Ai and took their seats. Ai served them their breakfast before sitting down herself.

Ruby took a bite and let out an exaggerated hum of satisfaction, while Aqua ate in silence, his movements precise and methodical. Miyako returned, drying her hands on a towel before settling in beside them.

"Where's Mr. Saitou?" Ai asked.

"He hasn't been getting enough sleep lately, so I figured I'd let him stay in bed." Miyako replied.

Ai tore off a small piece of fish, dipped it in soy sauce, and murmured, "He has been doing a lot lately, huh…"

"Such is the life of a president," Miyako said matter-of-factly, still chewing her food. Then, noticing the shadow that passed over Ai's face, she nudged her gently with an elbow. "Don't think about it too much, work gets to us all."

Ai nodded, "I guess you are right." She knew Miyako understood her. After all that happened and her disappearance, Mr. Saitou must have been running like a madman on damage control.

She ate quietly for a moment before looking at her children, "Do you like breakfast?"

"It's delicious." Aqua said plainly, tearing another piece from his fish with practiced precision.

Ruby nodded enthusiastically, "I missed mama's cooking."

"Come on, you two. Eat up. You've got school today," Miyako said, stealing a quick glance at the clock.

Ruby's face fell immediately, "Can't we take a day off? I wanna spend today with mama" she protested.

"You shouldn't miss school. I'll be here when you both get back." Ai said, reaching out to smooth Ruby's messy bed hair.

Ruby puffed out her cheeks in protest before slumping into a dramatic pout. "Fine."

Her familiar display of childish disappointment made both the women chuckle, the sound filling the living room with a warmth that had been absent for too long.

When they had finished their breakfast, Aqua and Ruby both scuttled to their room to change into their uniforms. Ai, along with Miyako, gathered the dishes and carried them to the kitchen sink.

"I got this, why don't you help the kids get ready?" Miyako offered.

Ai nodded and when Ai made it back to her room, Aqua was methodically buttoning up his shirt, "You need any help, Aqua?" she asked.

"I got it," he replied with quiet confidence, never lifting his head.

Then, a small "ouch" drew their attention. 

Ruby was trying to brush her tangled hair and the brush was now hopelessly caught in a snarl of her blonde strands.

"She needs your help more than I do." Aqua mused.

Ai stepped behind her daughter and carefully untied the brush from her tangled hair. "You learned how to brush your hair Ruby?"

"Somewhat…" she trailed off, wincing slightly as Ai worked on a particularly stubborn knot.

She pulled Ruby onto her lap, settling into the small chair. She worked through the major tangles, running her fingers gently through Ruby's medium long hair, then brushed it in careful, smooth strokes.

Ruby sat gleefully with a huge grin on her face, clearly savoring this moment of maternal attention that she'd been deprived of for weeks.

By the time they were done, Aqua stood fully dressed in his uniform.

Ruby bounced off her mother's lap and grabbed her clothes,  Ai helped her smooth out wrinkles, and soon both children were ready, just as the clock struck 8 AM. Their school bus would arrive any minute.

As the children shouldered their backpacks and headed for the door, they passed through the living room where Saitou had just pulled out a chair for himself. His breakfast sat untouched on the table. Saitou sighed, eyeing his plate. "It's cold…"

"Wake up early if you want freshly cooked breakfast," Miyako teased.

"Good morning, Mr. Saitou," Ai greeted, her children echoing in unison.

"Morning," he greeted back, his attention shifting to the kids, "you little devils are ready for school already, huh? Have a good day." He patted both their heads, gently so as to not mess up their hair.

Turning back to his breakfast, Saitou began to eat as Miyako quickly wiped her hands on her apron before joining Ai and the children for the walk downstairs.

They arrived at the curb just as the school bus pulled up. Aqua and Ruby got on the bus and waved through the windows. Ai raised her hand in response, and all the other kids too, waved back at her — not just Aqua and Ruby.

"Be good today!" Miyako called as she waved her hand and the bus pulled away.

After the children's departure, both women returned to the apartment. Saitou was still quietly finishing his breakfast when he called, "Ai. Come here for a minute."

She nodded, sitting down on the chair across him. She knew what was coming.

"You know the Dome concert was canceled," he began, setting down his chopsticks. "We're working on rescheduling it — probably in about six months."

"Six months?" Ai echoed.

"Yeah. It'll give you plenty of time to recover and get stage-ready again."

Ai nodded thoughtfully, "I guess that's not a bad news."

Saitou's expression fell a little, "About bad news though… Nino has quit. She has left the group."

"What?" The word escaped Ai like a gasp. 

Nino was the girl, second only to Ai in popularity and stage presence. The one who had always dreamed of performing at the dome and achieving success like no other Idol group ever had. Knowing her, those words seemed impossible. 

"Why?"

"I have no clue," Saitou admitted, frustration creeping into his voice. "All the girls visited you in the hospital while you were in a coma. After that, Nino just… stopped showing up. All of us tried talking to her, but nothing, she just said she doesn't want to be an Idol anymore."

"But how can B-komachi perform at the dome without her?" Ai asked. Her sudden absence would not only throw off the delicate balance of their choreography, but it could spark another controversy, potentially affecting their popularity and numbers.

"Her departure isn't public yet," Saitou said. "I'm hoping she just needs time to sort things out. She won't tell me anything, and not even the other girls know anything about her behavior lately."

Ai's face clouded with doubt. Everything had changed after they all saw her in the hospital — a stark reminder of the Idol industry's darker side.

- x -

 

The afternoon sun streamed through the first-floor windows, casting golden rectangles of light on the polished floor. It was just past eleven when the members of B-komachi gathered in the hall.

When Ai stepped through the door, a collective breath seemed to release. Five pairs of eyes turned to her, gleaming with joy and relief.

"You're here!" Ari closed the distance between them in a heartbeat, her arms encircling Ai with a careful gentleness that seemed to contradict her enthusiasm.

Takamine approached next, studying Ai's face. "How have you been, Ai?"

"I've been great!" Ai chirped, her voice bright and lilting — like nothing had happened. Like a madman hadn't shown up at her home. Her smile dazzled with practiced perfection, not a crack visible in her professional facade.

Watanabe shook her head with a chuckle, "Look at you, still as bubbly as ever."

"It must have been so scary…" Ari said, her fingers still gently gripping Ai's arms, unwilling to break contact, "I was so scared!"

"We all were," Watanabe confirmed, her usual cool composure fractured by the memory of a pale Ai in the hospital.

Ai waved a dismissive hand, her smile unwavering. "Oh, it wasn't! I blacked out and woke up all better. I don't even remember what happened." Her voice was a little too bright, a little too high.

Kyun let out an exaggerated sigh, rolling her eyes, "That's our Ai. Same airhead as ever." The mock insult still carried a sense of tenderness.

"Kyun! Don't be mean!" Ari gasped, lightly swatting her arm.

"Ow.." She rubbed the spot theatrically, her exaggerated pout drawing out a chuckle from the girls.

Watanabe stepped forward, her expression a little more serious than others, "Now that you're back, I'm sure president Saitou had filled you in about what's happening."

"The dome concert was cancelled but Mr. Saitou said we'll get another chance. And… Nino's gone." Takamine said.

At the mention of Nino's name, a ripple of unease passed through the group. Shoulders tensed, gazes dropped — the air grew heavy.

"Mr. Saitou told me about her," Ai said, "Is she okay?"

The group exchanged glances, then Takamine began, "Ever since we visited you in the hospital… she's been avoiding us."

"She won't leave her apartment," Watanabe continued, her voice softening, "Seeing you in the hospital bed had disturbed her deeply."

"It's not your fault, of course," Ari interjected, squeezing Ai's hand lightly.

Ai laughed nervously, the sound brittle as glass. "You guys could have visited me after I was all better."

"We wanted to see how you were doing." Watanabe said, "I know we have our differences but…" she trailed off, searching for the right words.

"Crazy fans are everywhere." Takamine finished for her. "That could have been any one of us."

"If we ever have that many rumors floating around us…" Meimei murmured, her eyes darting away when the others looked at her.

Ari lightly smacked her arm, her eyes flashing a warning.

Ai laughed again, but the sound died quickly as her expression shifted, "Has anyone seen her since? What happened to her?"

The silence stretched as the group exchanged glances.

"I'm not sure what happened to her," Takamine said, "We've tried everything. She just… gave up. She won't leave her apartment, she won't see us and she won't tell us what's going on."

"Her retirement isn't official yet," she added, "Since B-komachi's activities are halted anyway, Mr. Saitou thinks it's best not to announce anything unless we have to."

"He was trying to talk to her too," Ari said, her voice quivering slightly, "But she just said she's done and she won't listen to anyone."

"So it's just the six of us from now on," Meimei commented from behind, her voice still sharp and cold as ever. Ari's eyes darted on her again, telling her to shut up.

Ai pressed a hand to her abdomen, fingertips tracing the faint ridge of healing tissue beneath her clothes. The stitches pulsed with a dull ache every time she moved too quickly.

Watanabe noticed the gesture, "We know you're in no shape to practice right now, so take it easy. The dome is at least six months away - if not more."

"But B-Komachi won't be the same without Nino," Ai murmured, finally saying what they had all been thinking. "She is one of the founding members."

"That's true…" Watanabe admitted, unable to mask the worry in her voice.

"We can hope she comes back, but for now we will have to make do… with the six of us," Takamine concluded, trying to interject confidence into her words but falling short.

- x -

 

Nino slumped on the couch, unmoving in the past hour. TV played some show — a couple was arguing about something she had no clue about. It didn't matter — only the noise kept her thoughts at bay.

Ai had come back from the hospital yesterday. All the other B-komachi girls called her to meet, but she couldn't bring herself to go. She had visited her at the hospital with them once before, and that image kept flashing in her head — Ai in the hospital bed, tubes connected to her body to keep her alive. She had looked pale. Cold. Unresponsive — like she was dead.

She almost was.

Ryosuke was dead. The weight of his body stayed with her — she and Hikaru had staged it as a suicide to save themselves. What else could they have done?

It was her fault - she killed him, and she'd almost gotten Ai killed too.

The doorbell rang, making her flinch. She wasn't expecting anyone. Probably one of the girls — or President Saitou — again trying to convince her to return for the Dome concert.

She got up and took a deep breath to gather herself. Then, she dragged her body to open the door, and she was greeted by the last person she'd expect to visit her.

"Nino!" Ai chirped the moment she cracked the door open.

How could she smile after going through all that? But she knew… she had always known. Her smile was fake.

"I heard you were planning to leave B-komachi, so I figured I'd come see you. Are you doing okay?" Ai asked.

Weeks in the hospital, and here was Ai asking if she was okay? "Why do you care?" Nino's voice came out sharp.

"We are all a group you know, we are in this together—"

"Cut the crap, Ai. I'm not in the mood to hear it." Nino slammed the door, but she stood there waiting to hear her footsteps leave.

"I care about you, Nino," Ai's voice came softly through the door.

Lies. She never cared. Always had that practiced smile plastered on her face. It may have fooled others, but she saw right through it. Behind that smile, she mocked everyone else. She thought she was better than everyone. That she didn't even have to try to be the best.

Ai stole her spotlight. Then her fans, like it was nothing. Then the guy she loved — had kids with him and left him, like she did it only to mock her, because she could.

"Why didn't you just die...?" Nino's voice cracked, her vision blurring with tears.

Nino stood there. She wasn't sure if she was quiet enough with those words, but the silence stretched. Then, Ai's voice made her flinch.

"Did you say something? I know you are still there Nino~!" Ai's voice was bubbly as ever. "Open the door~ please!"

Ai didn't hear her? Her voice only made her frustration grow, "Go away!" she yelled.

"Not until you let me in!"

"Do you even hear yourself, you moron!"

Another moment of silence. Then a soft thud on the door, Ai sliding down to sit against it. "Do you remember when we first met? You wanted to be the greatest Idol and you always pushed us all to be better. Believe it or not… you're the glue that holds the group together."

"B-komachi…" Ai's voice softened. "All seven of us are the biggest Idol group because all of us worked so hard. You always pushed everyone to do better and we still need you to be there for us, you know."

Ai was an even bigger idiot than she had thought. "Do you think this is a movie?" Her laugh was bitter, "That sappy nonsense doesn't work in the real world."

Her words didn't deter Ai in the slightest, "The dome was our dream — it was your dream and we are the first ever Idol group that gets to perform there. And I want you to be there. It won't be the same without you, Nino."

"You've got some guts to still want to be on stage after what happened." Nino scoffed.

"Right?!" Ai's voice brightened. "I learned that from you — to never give up, you know. Your resilience is what brought us so close to our dream."

" You're the one close to the Dome. Not us… Not me." Nino's voice cracked. "You are B-komachi. Every fan who is there, is there for you. Not us."

"That's not true—"

"I can't do this anymore—" Her voice broke before it rose, "Nobody talks like that. Nobody's as stupid as you are. You're not even the best performer, but somehow you're on top. And that bubbly voice—" She choked on the words. "Doesn't your throat get tired? How are you the perfect idol? Why… why are you so… fake?"

The silence stretched. Nino didn't expect an answer. But—

"The same reason why you won't let me in." Ai's voice had changed — flat, stripped of its sparkle. "I'm not the perfect idol."

The words hung in the air.

But Nino knew, she had always known. That was what frustrated her the most. 

Before she could find the right words, Ai's footsteps faded away.

Nino scoffed — Good. She didn't want to see her anyway… or so she told herself.

Nino's words echoed through Ai's mind — The perfect Idol.  

Eight years of bright lights, choreographed smiles and carefully curated words, she did everything that was expected of her and all that only meant she had become the perfect liar.

But weren't those lies exactly what the audience craved? A flawless smile, a few beautiful words, an entrancing performance — telling her fans she loved them, whether it was true or not.

The image that she had carefully crafted over the years — that lie that is in the heads of her fans, fans like Ryosuke — is the perfect Idol.

She winced at the thought as she walked along the quiet sidewalk, or rather at the mild pain emanating from her still healing abdomen where Ryosuke had stabbed her.

The memory surged back — the glint of the knife, the white-hot pain as cold metal tore through her flesh. Ryosuke's eyes, wide and unblinking, burning with a fanatic rage. "You betrayed us," he had yelled, "You went ahead and had kids even though you're an Idol!"

Her kids — Aqua and Ruby, who she had kept hidden from the world. But he knew.

Her popularity made keeping secrets very difficult, if not impossible. Her face was plastered across Tokyo — billboards, television screens, social media. Everywhere she turned, there she was, smiling back at her with eyes that revealed nothing of the truth.

The weight of that fame sometimes felt suffocating.

There were rumors floating even before the attack. Articles and photos circulating the internet and people gossiping, speculating if the two kids who are often with her are actually her kids. But with nothing of substance to go off of, all they could do was speculate. President Saitou had helped her keep her children a secret, but the truth was a ticking time bomb.

"You've got some guts to want to be on stage after what happened."

Nino's voice returned to her with biting clarity. The attack was the ultimate proof that the fantasy they sold came at too high a price.

Could she really stand on that stage and continue the charade? Could she really smile and sing about love and dreams and purity, knowing the same lies had driven a man to show up at her doorstep with a knife? The same lie that put her children's lives in danger?

The truth was already slipping through her fingers, like water through cupped hands. Hospital staff had seen Aqua and Ruby crying at her bedside. The doctors and paramedics had heard her children calling her "Mama." Mr Saitou had been running around to keep her secret but there was only so much that could be contained.

For years, she had bathed in the glow of stage lights, listening to deafening cheers that never truly belonged to her. But that warmth was nothing compared to the tiny hands clinging to her, the soft murmurs of "Mama" against her hospital gown as she embraced her children, telling them that she loved them — a truth.

What if someone leaked the secret before she could control the narrative? How many Ryosuke's were out there, nursing parasocial attachments that could curdle into violence when her image of perfect Idol shatters?

Where would the next one show up? Again at her home? On the streets? At a park? Or when she is out peacefully shopping? 

A man strode towards her. Ai's shoulders tensed and she froze — until he passed her by and she realized he wasn't even looking at her. Just another stranger in a hurry to catch the bus. She exhaled, but her heart didn't relax.

Would the next one manage to harm not just her, but her children too?

The thought sent ice through her veins.

Her children's life and safety wasn't something she was willing to gamble with — not for Tokyo Dome, not for B-komachi, not for the adoration of all the strangers in the world who loved a version of her that had never truly existed.

- x -

Notes:

Authors Note : I have literally thought about Kana's arc, Akane's arc and Memcho's arc. But for the love of god, I can't figure out where I want Ai and the twins to be at the end of the book. I mean they'll be grown up (spoilers) but like, what's their journey in this book?
Maybe there doesn't need to be one. And it'll just slice of life family moments. I still don't know.

Up Next - Chapter 3 : Missed Childhood

Chapter 3: Missed Childhood

Summary:

Aqua enjoying the moments he had missed in his previous life.

Ruby wanted nothing more than to stay home today. After weeks in the hospital, her mother was finally back, and all she wanted was to curl up in her lap, feeling the warmth of her fingers stroking her hair. 

But instead, she was stuck at preschool, fidgeting with impatience, counting the minutes until she could run back home.

After a long day, the bell finally rang and the children prepared to leave. For some, their parents would arrive for pickup. Others who lived nearby would walk home in groups escorted by older children. Those who remained — the ones living a little too far for walking — would board the school bus that whimsically resembled a cat, complete with whiskers.

For the twins, Miyako would occasionally show up and take them home in her van. More often than not she was too busy to show up. And as much as Ruby would love it, Ai simply couldn't come to pick her children up.

Such is the curse of being the offspring of a popular Idol.

Today — like many other days — they were taking the cat-shaped school bus and the teachers were shepherding the children into a single line as they boarded the bus, their small voices creating a cheerful cacophony.

The ride wasn't long. The city blurred past the windows in a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes as, one by one, the children got off at their stops. Before the twins realized it, they too had reached their destination.

Normally, Ruby would rush up the stairs — slowly. It always amazed Aqua how she could be in such a hurry to get home and toss her bag onto the couch, yet still managed to take each step up the stairs with careful deliberation, her small hand always pressed against the wall for support.

But this time she stood on the sidewalk, looking at him with an impish grin that immediately raised his suspicions.

"What is it, Ruby?" Aqua asked.

She dug into her pocket and pulled out a 500-yen coin, hoisting it triumphantly like a prize, "I have this!"

Seeing the coin raised his curiosity, "Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"Miyako gave me this coin when we were out shopping last time." Ruby explained, her eyes sparkling, " And I have been waiting for the perfect day to spend it."

"And that's today?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! Today is the best day to get some ice cream." Without hesitation she stepped away from their building and onto the street, "I'll be right back!"

Aqua followed hastily, his protective instincts kicking in, "Whoa whoa, I'm not letting you go alone."

Ruby stopped and looked back, puffing her cheeks in mock offence, "I'm not a baby, but you can come if you want. Just so you know, I won't give you any."

"Really? I thought you were a good sister," he said, catching up to her,

Ruby stuck out her tongue, "I am a good sister. Too much sugar is bad for you."

Aqua shook his head, "Alright… You know where the convenient store is?"

They paused at a crossing, Ruby scanned the streets they could take, her forehead crinkling as she tried to remember which way to go, or if this was where they needed to turn left. "Uh… that way?" she pointed uncertainly, looking at her brother for confirmation.

Aqua nodded with a hum, and Ruby's face lit up.

Now confident in her navigation skills, she dashed to the next crossing, her small legs carrying her forward with a cheerful determination. Aqua jogged alongside, keeping a watchful eye on her.

Two more right turns later, their destination came into view — the local convenience store, its familiar sign glowing welcomingly. It wasn't too far from their home, about a fifteen minute walk, but to Ruby it felt like an expedition worthy of her 500 yen treasure.

Ruby dashed ahead, hopping briefly in front of the automatic doors waiting impatiently for them to open with a soft electronic chime. Ruby dashed in, eyes of the store owner following her and Aqua walked calmly behind her.

Ruby scanned the shelves, mumbling to herself — not this, not this, not this, with her finger pointing to various snacks. After a few minutes of her checking out all the snacks but not picking one, the store owner approached her.

"Can I help you, young lady?" she asked in her sweet voice.

"Yes," Ruby's voice rang out with anticipation, "Do you have ice cream?"

"They're by the front counter in the display refrigerators," the woman pointed with a smile, charmed by the little girl's enthusiasm.

With a quick "Thank you!" Ruby jogged toward the indicated spot, her eyes scanning through the glass case at all the colorful options — at least, the ones her small height allowed her to see.

Aqua joined her, noticing her indecision. "Which flavor do you want?"

Ruby hummed thoughtfully, standing on tiptoes to see better. "I don't see it here... the one Mama always gets."

It didn't take Aqua long to recall which one it was. "Do you have the Meiji Super Vanilla ice cream?" he turned and asked the store owner.

"It's up there. Let me get it for you," she replied, stepping past them and opening the refrigerator door to retrieve a small cup. She handed it carefully to Ruby, whose eyes widened with delight. "Do you want another one?" the store owner asked Aqua.

Aqua shook his head, and they all moved to the counter. A quick beep later, "That will be 450 yen," the cashier announced.

Ruby stretched up on her tiptoes and proudly presented her 500-yen coin. The store owner accepted it with a warm smile, returning the 50-yen change to Ruby's cupped hands.

"Come on, let's hurry!" Ruby exclaimed, clutching her precious purchase. "I don't want the ice cream to melt!"

The store owner smiled watching Ruby jog impatiently towards the exit. "Do come again!" she said as the door opened.

"Ruby! Slow down!" Aqua called, adjusting his backpack as he jogged to keep up.

Tracing their steps back home was easy, and Ruby held the ice cream cup delicately from the sides, her small fingers careful not to transfer too much heat. Aqua caught up and walked beside her, a little amused by her intense concentration. "Hold it properly or you'll drop it," he said.

"I won't!" replied Ruby, her eyes narrowing further in concentration.

When they reached their building, Ruby approached the stairs with caution. Each step deliberate and careful as she balanced herself, climbing one step at a time. The ice cream cup extended at arms length as if it contained precious elixir. Aqua followed right behind her, ready to catch if she stumbled.

The journey up three floors felt longer than their trip to the convenience store. Neither of them were out of breath when they reached their apartment — they had ascended too slowly for that. Now that the treacherous stairs were behind them, Ruby's impatience returned.

"Open the door!" she called.

Aqua rang the doorbell and Miyako answered, her expression turning curious as Ruby rushed past her into the kitchen without even removing her shoes or backpack. They watched as she carefully placed the cup in the refrigerator before returning to the entryway to take her shoes off.

"Where'd you get that?" Miyako asked in amusement.

"I bought it," Ruby replied, walking in and taking her backpack off.

"Just one?"

"I only had money for one." Ruby said with a shrug.

"And she said she won't share," Aqua added playfully. Ruby stuck her tongue out in response.

Miyako chuckled and turned to Aqua, "I'll get you one later then."

Aqua nodded, then noticed how Ruby settled into the couch and turned on the TV, "You're not gonna eat it now?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

She shook her head decisively, her eyes never leaving the screen. "Not now, later."

Later that evening, Ai returned home, quietly announcing her return and stepping into the living room. Her face had a serious, thoughtful expression — a stark contrast to her usual vibrant demeanor.

Whatever was bothering her was quickly chased away by the sound of her daughter's hurried footsteps towards her.

Ai's expression shifted, warmth flooding back into her features as if a switch was flipped. Ruby barreled towards her, arms outstretched, yelling, "Welcome home Mama!"

Ai scooped her up in one fluid motion, and Ruby wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, squeezing with unreserved affection.

A brief wince crossed Ai's face — the healing wound on her abdomen below her right lung protesting the pressure, but she quickly and effortlessly masked it, unwilling to dampen her daughter's enthusiasm.

But Aqua caught the flicker of pain in Ai's expression, "Ruby, be careful! Don't make her strain herself," he called.

"It's okay Aqua, she's light as a feather." Ai reassured them with a smile as she eased onto the couch, settling Ruby in her lap.

Ruby pulled back a little and carefully placed her small hands on her shirt where the healing wound was. "Does it still hurt?" she asked.

Ai shook her head, "Not at all, I'm all good now!" 

Aqua approached more cautiously, climbing beside them on the couch. Though his movements were more reserved than his sister's, his lips still formed a smile, feeling his mother's hand stroking his head.

"How was school today?" Ai asked.

And Ruby immediately launched into a detailed account of her day. She described how her teacher had praised her drawings — carefully crafted with her imagination. The make-believe games at break where she had pretended to be a famous idol, "just like Mama." And she recounted with particular enthusiasm how Aqua had helped her reach the water fountain.

The words kept tumbling out her mouth out of excitement,

"And the teacher said brother has the neatest handwriting in the entire class!" Ruby announced proudly, gesturing dramatically. "Not messy like the rest of us. Mine looks like squiggles, but Aqua's looks like it's from a book!"

Ai's fingers found their way back to Aqua's hair, "Aqua is gifted when it comes to academics, isn't he?" The subtle emphasis on "academics" carried her unspoken understanding — her son excelled at far more than would be expected of a child his age.

Aqua lowered his gaze, his lips twitching in a small, hesitant grin. 

As the conversation lulled, Ruby suddenly jumped off her mother's lap, her eyes wide with remembered purpose. "Wait! I have something!" She darted toward the kitchen, returning moments later with the ice cream cup she'd purchased earlier, now frozen to a perfect texture.

"Mama! This is for you," she announced, extending the cup with both hands.

Ai looked at the small cup before accepting it, momentarily surprised. "You're so thoughtful, Ruby! Just what I needed!" she smiled.

"It's your favorite!" Ruby said with a huge smile.

Ai peeled back the lid and scooped a small portion with the plastic spoon. Instead of eating it herself, she raised it toward Ruby. "Aaa~" she coaxed gently.

Ruby happily accepted the bite, her eyes closing in bliss at the creamy sweetness. A small dot of vanilla remained on her nose, making Ai laugh softly.

Ai turned to Aqua next, offering him the following spoonful. "Your turn," she said warmly.

Aqua accepted, the familiar taste flooding him with more than just the simple pleasure of ice cream. As he sat beside his mother, the heat of her proximity and the sound of Ruby's delighted giggles washed over him, he felt something loosen in his chest.

In his previous life, moments like these had been non-existent. A father perpetually absent, a mother lost to childbirth, and a childhood spent bearing adult responsibilities for his elderly grandmother. Ice cream had been a rare luxury, and sharing it — the simple joy of a family experiencing a treat together — had been unimaginable.

As Ai alternated spoonfuls between herself and her children, Aqua leaned imperceptibly closer to her warmth. The weight of his memories made this ordinary moment extraordinary to him. The vanilla sweetness on his tongue, his mother's subtle fragrance, Ruby's animated chatter — these sensations anchored him in this precious second chance he'd been given.

"Good?" Ai asked, noticing his thoughtful expression.

Aqua nodded, not trusting his voice. Good didn't begin to describe it. Perfect, perhaps. Or miraculous — this everyday moment of family connection that Ruby had orchestrated with her saved coin.

As they finished the ice cream together, the evening stretching comfortably around them, Aqua silently thanked whatever cosmic chance had given him this new beginning — this opportunity to experience childhood as it should be: sweet, protected, and wrapped in the unquestioning love of family.

- x -

 

The morning sun bathed Tokyo in gold, casting long shadows across the bustling television studio where three-year old Arima Kana sat perched on the folding chair, her small legs swinging back and forth. Her wide eyes never left her mother's figure on the set, absorbing every movement, every line delivery with unwavering attention. She remained silent despite her excitement, remembering the director's stern warning that she'd be kicked out if she caused any disruption.

Kana's mother had been acting for six years, yet her career remained stubbornly stagnant — all she would ever get were small parts and background roles. Small appearances that paid the bills but were barely enough to be noticed.

Her talent was evident to those who cared to look, but in the industry where connections, compromises and favors often mattered more than skill, her principled approach had become an invisible ceiling.

"Give it up!" Kana's father had said when she clung to her dream even after Kana was born. "Be a mother, Be a wife. We need you here — think about Kana, do it for her sake!" His words cut deep, weaponizing their daughter against her dreams.

But she had refused to surrender, "I can take care of my daughter and be a great actress!" she had declared, her voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill. She packed her bags and moved to Tokyo with nothing but a crying infant and solid steel determination.

She had entered the acting business two years before her marriage and she understood very well how treacherous navigating the entertainment industry could be for young women such as herself. Though she had cultivated enough connections to secure auditions and small roles, it was her relentless persistence that kept her going despite countless rejections and never getting the big break into movies she had hoped for.

She knew that her year-long hiatus because of her pregnancy would set her back, but she hadn't anticipated that her career would hit a complete standstill. In the unforgiving ecosystem of Japanese entertainment, good looks and talent could only carry a woman so far if she wasn't willing to bend the knee to the unspoken demands of certain directors and producers.

Despite these challenges, She approached each role with unwavering professionalism. Today, she played the role of a nurse sitting outside with a patient. Her role was another background character with only a few lines. A character who would be forgotten by the next episode.

When the director called "cut!" after a perfect take, Kana could no longer contain herself.

The little girl leapt to her feet, clapping with wild enthusiasm. "Mama, you were so good!" she squealed, her voice carrying across the now quiet set. "The way you acted—"

The director turned slowly towards the child, annoyance written all over his face.

Kana didn't notice him and without hesitation, she began mimicking her mother's performance, her small face transforming with an intensity far beyond her years. "Come on Mr. Tanaka, you deserve better than this. Don't give up yet, fight for yourself!" She delivered her mother's lines just like she did moments before.

The director's annoyance of being interrupted quickly changed to professional curiosity upon seeing how well she mimicked her mother.

"She's quite talented, isn't she?" he remarked, thinking for a moment.

"She loves mimicking me," Kana's mother smiled.

He approached them, and crouched to Kana's level, "You want to be an actress like your mother, little one?"

She nodded, her eyes brightening up, "I want to be great just like my mother!"

He hummed in thought as he stood up, "We could use her in a scene. The one where Mr Takana passes away and the story picks up with his daughter all grown up. She could play his daughter who visits him on his final day, that would get the audience to care about the lead even more."

"Are you sure? All she does is copy me and she has never been on camera before." Kana's mother said.

"She's got real talent and copying is how all artists start. I'm sure she'll do just great, won't you little girl?" The director's eyes sparkled with genuine interest, a look Kana's mother had rarely seen directed at her own performances.

Kana nodded with a smile that lit up her entire face. "I can do it!" she declared with the absolute confidence only a child could have.

"What do you say?" the director asked Kana's mother who stood frozen for a moment.

"Alright then," Her mother agreed, picking up her daughter with her expression changing to a soft smile. "You're following mama's footsteps huh?" she said playfully, ticking Kana to make her giggle.

The week flew by in a flash, with Mrs. Arima teaching her how to act on her request. Kana could barely contain her excitement and she waited impatiently for the day to arrive. She even told all her friends at school that she was going to be an actress.

And finally, today she stood at the set with her mother. Not as the audience but as a real actress.

The set was staged as a hospital room and they were in the middle of shooting another scene.

They wrapped up quickly and the director called for Arima Kana. She was up.

Her scene was simple as it gets. She had to play the role of Mr. Tanaka's young daughter, who visited him in his final moments. He would pass away and she would cry.

The camera's began rolling and Mr. Tanaka gave her a soft smile as she entered the room.

Kana slipped into the role effortlessly, walking slowly with concern on her face that felt real.

The director and her mother watched intently, as her acting showed a lot of promise. The way she moved her hands, the way she spoke, her body language. It all sold the scene.

Until — Mr. Takana closed his eyes. That was her cue to cry.

Her face scrunched up, and she lowered it on the bed by him. Then, she began crying, loudly.

Despite her efforts, there was something mechanical about her crying — it just didn't feel… natural,  and when she lifted her face. Her expressions for a sad crying face were barely passable.

"Cut!" The director called and reviewed the footage as Kana joined her mother beside him. 

"It's fine, I guess." the director said, "Tears would have been nice and her expressions could have been better, but it's passable."

"Can we do another take?" Mrs. Arima asked, "She can do much better."

The director thought about it for a moment.

Arima's mother crouched down and held her by the shoulder, "Come on Kana, we practiced the sad expressions right, you can do better."

"Maybe we can hit her, that'll get the tears flowing," someone said behind them and Kana's mother glared daggers at him.

She turned back to her daughter, "Listen, think about something sad. Something that makes you cry, like a sad movie scene, or a sad song." her mother suggested.

"Something sad?" Kana wondered, then she closed her eyes and tried to look inside for any moment that had made her cry.

She didn't have to look too deep. 

She found her father, who often visited her in Tokyo. He always showed up with chocolates and toys for her, but he never stayed too long. And every visit ended the same, her parents arguing and fighting. She loved her mother, she loved her father and she wished he could be around more and they'd get along better.

As thoughts of her father and memories of her parents arguing filled her heart, tears began to form in her eyes. Just as one drop slid down her cheek, her mother's voice brought her back to reality.

"Good, now don't forget your lines." she whispered.

Kana opened her eyes, found her mother in front of her, smiling.

The thoughts of her father went away but the tears remained. She took a moment to steady herself and took her spot beside Mr. Takana and the camera's rolled again.

This time, her tears rolled down her cheeks and her expression was indistinguishable from real grief. That made the scene feel more touching. Everyone on set watched as she nailed her part.

Her scene was soon over and she strolled back over to her mother wiping her tears. Mrs. Arima was busy discussing the scene with the director, "I told you she could do better," she said with pride in her voice, "She's a natural!"

Kana stood there, watching as everyone went about their jobs.

No one ever asked her what she thought of that made her shed tears. And she never said.

- x -

 

Ever since Kana started acting, her career had only grown. What began as a small TV show appearance, quickly grew into recurring roles on popular children's shows, TV drama's and even commercials, revealing talents she never knew she had. She could articulate and project her voice with remarkable clarity, seamlessly transition between complex emotions, and deliver dialogue with a natural confidence that impressed even veteran directors.

Along the way, she discovered her singing voice — composing catchy tunes that resonated with her young audience. Her "Bell Pepper Song" had become something of a playground phenomenon, with children humming it during recess across the city. But Kana's most distinctive talent — the one that truly set her apart in the industry — was her ability to shed tears on command. Within casting circles, she became known as "the girl who can cry in ten seconds flat," a reputation that made her the go-to child actress for emotional scenes that needed to feel authentic.

As Kana's popularity rose, it inevitably eclipsed her mother's fading career. After years of stagnation in minor supporting roles, her mother watched as industry's interest in her dwindled while her daughter became increasingly in demand. Rather than resent this shift, she embraced it, transitioning from struggling actress to full-time manager of her daughter's flourishing career. She couldn't have been more proud — her daughter had already achieved more than she ever did, breaking into feature films at an age when most children were still learning how to read and count.

The transition to movies should have been Kana's crowning achievement. Instead, it introduced an unexpected complication in the form of Aqua, a young actor she encountered during her first film production. Aqua performed with an effortless authenticity that made Kana's carefully practiced technique seem artificial by comparison. She had been upstaged, and the realization shattered her self-image as the industry's most talented young performer.

"Find his other works," she had demanded of her mother, certain that this boy must be a seasoned professional. Her mother's research yielded nothing — this had been Aqua's debut performance. The revelation only felt more insulting. How could someone with no experience outshine her so effortlessly on his first attempt?

She knew it was only a matter of time before Aqua would return to claim more spotlight — and she refused to be left behind. She had to do better!

From that moment, Kana devoted herself to perfecting her craft with single-minded determination. When not on set, she studied the techniques of acclaimed actors, rehearsed lines for upcoming roles until her voice grew hoarse, and solicited feedback from anyone willing to watch her perform. Every gesture and every expression had to be flawless — worthy of the praise she had grown accustomed to receiving.

"You are so amazing, Arima!" her classmates would exclaim.

"I saw you on TV last night!" a girl gushed during lunch hour. "You looked so cool when you helped the blue ranger! How do you do that?"

Kana smiled, tipping her chin up slightly. "I don't know," she said with practiced nonchalance. "I just... do it."

"Her crying on TV looks so natural! I could never fake a cry like that," another classmate chimed in admiringly.

"Right? She's, like, a total pro."

"Have you heard her songs?! She can even sing! There's nothing Arima can't do!"

Or at least, she used to receive. As Kana transitioned to more sophisticated projects, dramas and family films that held little interest for preschool children — their chorus of praise had diminished.

Her classmates had moved on to newer obsessions, while Kana remained consumed by her work and the relentless pursuit of perfection.

The bell rang, sending a wave of excitement through the classroom. Chairs scraped against the floor, as children hastily rushed out in a blur of movement and noise — noise that Kana deliberately ignored.

As usual, she remained seated and leisurely pulled out a bundle of papers — the script for her upcoming TV drama. She began memorizing her lines, thinking about the best ways to deliver them.

"Hey Arima!" Her friend rushed back into the classroom and stood beside her desk, catching her breath. "We're playing tag. You wanna join us?"

Kana didn't look up from her script, "You know I don't have time for childish games," she said, turning a page.

"You're always busy," her friend persisted, leaning slightly into Kana's field of vision. "Can't you play with us for a little while? We haven't played together in so long!"

"Of course not," Kana said, "Acting requires consistent dedication and effort… but I wouldn't expect you to understand that."

Her friend stood there, her shoulders falling slightly. She looked at Kana, focused on her work, for a moment before nodding. "Okay," she said with a faint note of disappointment, and left without another word.

Kana glanced at her as she stepped out through the door before bringing her attention back to the script. The words blurred slightly and she found herself reading the same line over and over again.

"Focus!" she whispered to herself, and straightened her posture.

But her concentration kept slipping. She whispered the dialogue to herself as she read, but the sound of the children playing outside downed it out.

She sighed and let her head fall onto the pages.

The noise of the children playing suddenly seemed to get louder. She turned her head towards the door, and saw her friend running around, chasing the other kids. They all laughed and shrieked as she tagged another.

"So loud…" she muttered, her eyes fixated on the children playing outside for a long moment.

She shook her head when she caught herself. 

"I don't have time for playing games," she whispered to herself, then shifted in her seat and pulled her focus back to the pages in front of her.

To her, this was a small sacrifice to be the best actress. She wasn't like the other kids after all.

Break time ended and all the kids were back. Today, they were learning about various colors. The teacher had presented a chart of objects labeled with their primary color, and one by one she went over them, the chorus of the children following her.

"And what color is this apple?" she asked, pointing to the bright illustration on the color chart.

"Red!" the children chorused enthusiastically.

"Very good, and the sky?"

"Blue!"

"And these bananas?"

"Yellow!" all the voices answered in unison, stretching out the word into multiple syllables.

Between the children's singing, the classroom door slid open quietly, drawing the teacher's attention. Mrs. Arima stood in the doorway, dressed immaculately in a sharp blazer, her makeup perfect despite the midday hour.

"Children, let's take a small break!" the teacher said gently and saw Kana began to pack her crayons and notebook with practiced efficiency, requiring no prompting.

"Good Afternoon," the teacher greeted Kana's mother with a polite bow, "Another filming session today?"

"Yes, they moved up the schedule. We need to be at the studio in an hour," she answered, checking her watch.

"This is the third early pickup this week. I wanted to speak to you about her attendance." she lowered her voice slightly, but her eyes showed concern, "Her shooting schedules shouldn't impede on her school time this much. It's not good for her development."

Mrs. Arima's eyes hardened for a moment, "Are you suggesting I'm making poor decisions regarding my daughter's upbringing?" Her voice remained calm but with an underlying edge.

"Oh no, not at all," the teacher responded calmly, "I'm simply pointing out that at this age, children need consistent interaction with peers to develop crucial social skills. Arima Kana had missed most of our group activities this month."

"She's an actress," her mother stated with unmistakable pride. "She works with others on a regular basis — adults and children alike. I assure you, she's developing socially in ways most children never experience."

"Professional interactions are different from genuine peer relationships," the teacher persisted gently. "She has missed nearly a third of her classes. The foundation we build now affects her entire future. I strongly recommend adjusting her schedules to align better with school hours."

Mrs. Arima glanced at her daughter, who had packed her backpack and walked over to them at the doorway. "Kana is exceptionally bright and gifted. She won't fall behind academically."

"Academic progress is only one aspect of one's education and upbringing," the teacher replied, her gaze following the mother's to Kana.

The little girl quickly smiled when she noticed both adults looking at her.

A brief silence stretched between them before Mrs. Arima sighed, "I appreciate your concern, I'll see what I can do." The words were diplomatic, noncommittal. "Now if you'll excuse us." she took her daughter's hand and turned to leave.

"Bye teacher!" Kana waved brightly before stepping along with her mother.

- x -

Notes:

Up Next - Chapter 4 : My Hero

Chapter 4: My Hero

Summary:

Sometimes the person you admire doesn't turn out to be what you hoped them to be.

The living room TV blared with a bouncy melody that had captivated both children and adults alike. "Bell pepper exercise" was so catchy, it was nearly  impossible to get it out of one's head after hearing it. Starring none other than Arima Kana dressed adorably in a green bell pepper costume, complete with a matching green cap that also resembled a bell pepper. 

In front of the TV, Akane's small feet shuffled in perfect sync with the dance routine, her eyes fixed on the screen as she mimicked each movement with great precision. After watching it countless times, she had the entire routine memorised.

Her mother was right behind her, plugging in the vacuum cleaner.

"Did you know she wrote the lyrics herself?" Akane's breath came in excited puffs as she moved her body to keep up with Arima.

"She is very talented isn't she, Akane?" her mother said before turning on the vacuum. The noise competed with the music until Akane nudged the volume up a notch, allowing Kana's voice to fill the living room.

"Yes!" Akane's eyes sparkled as she bounced on her toes. "She can sing. She can dance. And she is such a great actor!" She struck a pose that mirrored Kana's on the screen, "I wish I was that talented, I wanna be just like her." she gushed.

Her mother paused, "What have I told you? Hard work beats all talent." She watched her daughter's little determined face as she nodded. 

Akane's hard work and dedication hadn't gone unnoticed. The way she practiced her expressions in front of the mirror, the way she mimics her favorite actors, always asking her parents for feedback. When a family friend suggested trying for auditions, they even got her an acting coach. And she had improved so much in so little time.

"Why don't you go get ready?" her mother said, "your audition is in an hour."

"I know, I know!" Akane replied, hitting replay on the TV remote and she began bopping her head to the bell pepper song once again.

When the song ended, Akane cheerfully hopped to her room with her mother following right behind her. She slipped into the carefully selected outfit — a blue dress with intricate patterns and white collar that made her look both innocent and professional. She turned side to side in front of the mirror, scrutinizing her reflection with an intensity unusual for a five year old. Her small fingers smoothed down a wrinkle, adjusted her headband, tucked a rebellious strand of hair behind her ear.

She inhaled deeply, squared her shoulders, and transformed her face from anxious child to focused performer.

" Greetings, visitor. We welcome you to our village… " She lowered her head and peeked up at the mirror, quoting Arima from her movie, "... I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for here." She held the pose for a moment longer trying her best to look as ominous as Arima had looked in the movie. Then, she took a deep breath and shifted effortlessly into a character with more emotion, "Please, help me find my parents, I don't know where they are…" she forced her breath to come in short shallow gasps as if she were about to cry.

Her mother's applause broke her performance, "That was beautiful. You've improved so much."

Akane's professional demeanor dissolved into a hopeful child's uncertainty and she turned to her mother in a quick flip. "Really? You think so mama?"

Her mother nodded, "Of course, You're gonna be great in the auditions," she knelt down to straighten her collar. "Now let's go, we don't want to be late."

The short car ride felt unending, the whole time Akane rehearsed her lines, whispering to herself and moving her arms to match the lines. Her mother smiled and encouraged her when they reached their destination. Full of confidence, Akane strode in with her mother.

The audition venue was a converted community theater, its lobby now crammed with children and their hovering parents. Akane's confident stride faltered at the sight of so many competitors. At least a hundred kids between four and seven years old filled the space, some practicing lines in corners, others being fussed over by parents wielding hairbrushes and breath mints.

Akane clutched her mother's hand tighter. "There are so many of them," she whispered.

In one corner, a red-faced boy was having powder dabbed onto his forehead by a stern-looking woman who hissed instructions into his ear. The boy's eyes were dull, his shoulders slumped despite his mother's persistent adjustments to his posture.

"Stand up straight, Kenji! We didn't pay for all those lessons for you to slouch!" The woman's fingernails dug into the boy's shoulder as she yanked him upright.

"Mama," Akane tugged at her mother's sleeve, her voice dropping to a whisper, "that lady is hurting that boy."

Her mother squeezed Akane's hand. "Some parents forget why they're really here," she said quietly. "They're so focused on winning that they forget this should be something their children enjoy."

Across the room, a girl about Akane's age sat alone on a bench, silently mouthing words while her father paced nearby, checking his expensive watch every few seconds. The girl's eyes followed him anxiously, her rehearsal faltering each time he frowned.

Akane and her mother navigated through the busy crowd awaiting their turn, looking for the production assistant. Finding him wasn't difficult as he stood out from all the other adults, glancing at his notepad over and over again.

He told them to wait their turn, and gave Akane her instructions for going to the stage.

Auditions had begun and one by one, the children took the stage. Some were surprisingly polished, delivering their lines with practiced emotions. Others froze under the spotlight, stammered, or spoke too quietly to be heard.

The judges — three stone faced industry professionals, made notes without revealing their thoughts or providing any feedback.

When it was finally Akane's turn, her mother gave her hand one last squeeze with a whisper, "You got this," before she walked to the center of the stage. The steps felt endless, the whispers from waiting parents seemed to follow her like shadows.

Under the spotlights, she found her mark — a piece of blue tape on the floor, then she lifted her gaze to meet the judges eyes. She felt her breath quickening, but she caught herself and with a deep breath she calmed herself down.

Akane closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she wasn't Akane anymore. Her shoulders hunched slightly, her eyes widened with fear, and her hands began to tremble.

"Mother… Have you seen my mother? She must be very worried, I can't find her. Have you seen my mother?" she turned her head from one judge to another as if she was asking them. Akane's small hands clutched her dress, "I know she is looking for me, Mother…" She turned away and took two steps, audibly whimpering, still looking around as if she was looking for her mother. 

The silence that followed felt eternal. Then the middle judge leaned forward, removing her glasses.

"Well done, Miss Kurokawa. That was... remarkably authentic. You genuinely made me concerned for this lost child."

Akane turned and blinked, slipping out of character, a hesitant smile forming. She bowed politely, the movement precise and graceful, before leaving the stage on slightly wobbly legs.

Her mother caught her in a tight hug. "You were amazing," she whispered into Akane's hair.

They sat together through the remaining auditions, Akane's legs swinging nervously as they waited for results. Around them, other parents consoled tearful children who had already been dismissed, their dreams temporarily deferred.

After what felt like hours, the assistant with the notepad approached them. "The judges would like to see you again. Miss Kurokawa."

Heart hammering, Akane, with her mother, followed him back into the audition room. The judges were huddled together, but straightened as they entered.

"Akane Kurokawa," the male judge announced, his serious expression breaking into a genuine smile. "Congratulations! We'd like to offer you the role."

"You truly were amazing. Your talent for acting is magnificent." Another commented.

For a moment, Akane couldn't move, couldn't speak. Then a squeal of delight escaped her as she bounced on her toes, clapping her hands together.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Her mother's arms encircled her shoulders, steady and warm. "It was all her hard work." She announced proudly.

"Congratulations," The assistant smiled, "We will contact you with the details of the role soon."

As they left the building, a young man with a press badge approached them. "I'm from Young Performer Magazine. Would you mind answering a few questions about today's audition?"

Under normal circumstances, her mother might have declined, but today was special. She nodded her permission.

"How does it feel for your daughter to secure this role?" he asked, voice recorder extended.

Her mother's hand rested protectively on Akane's shoulder. "It's the culmination of months of dedication. Akane has put her heart into learning this craft." Pride threaded through each word.

The reporter knelt down to Akane's level. "And what about you, young lady? What inspired you to become an actress?"

Akane's cheeks flushed pink. "Arima Kana," she answered without hesitation. "She's amazing in everything she does."

"Ah, the child prodigy," the reporter nodded knowingly.

"She acts and sings and dances," Akane continued, words tumbling out faster. "And she always looks like she's having the best time ever!"

The reporter chuckled. "She certainly is talented."

"She's my hero!" Akane declared, fists clenched with the intensity of her admiration.

The reporter's smile widened. "Well, Miss Kurokawa, I happen to have some inside information. You've already secured the role, but did you know who your co-star will be?"

Akane shook her head, eyes widening.

"None other than Arima Kana herself."

Akane's jaw dropped. For a moment, she stood frozen, processing the information. Then she erupted in a high-pitched squeal that echoed through the lobby, jumping up and down with unrestrained joy.

"Really?" Her eyes darted between the reporter and her mother, seeking confirmation that this wasn't some elaborate joke.

"Really." the reporter confirmed with a chuckle, clearly enjoying her reaction.

"I'll get to meet her? And work with her? And talk to her?" Each question rose higher in pitch.

Her mother laughed, steadying Akane's bouncing form. "Calm down, Akane."

But Akane couldn't contain herself. She spun in a circle, arms outstretched, face glowing with a happiness so pure it made several bystanders smile.

"This," she announced to no one and everyone, "is the best day of my entire life!"

- x -

 

Akane stood before her bedroom mirror, adjusting the bow on her dress for the tenth time. Her mother had laid out three different outfits before they finally agreed on the light blue sundress with a white trim — that her mother said looked professional. She turned, her eyes fixated on her reflection, making sure her dress was perfect but her face carried more anxiousness than excitement. 

"What if she doesn't like me?" Akane whispered.

Her mother heard it, and stepped behind her, her eyes meeting her daughter's reflection. "She'll love you. You're an amazing actor, you're determined, hardworking and you're professional." she smiled, "I have a feeling you two will get along very well."

"Really?" Akane said, trying to believe her mother's words.

Her mother smiled and nodded.

"Are you ready?" her mother asked, taking her hand.

Akane nodded, spine straightening with determination. "Ready."

They made it to the film set half an hour earlier, to have ample time to get comfortable with the place and the people they'll be working with. The film set was housed in a preschool on the outskirts of the city during its off hours. Unlike the glossy world depicted on television, the reality was a maze of cables snaking across concrete floors, tired-looking crew members clutching coffee cups, and portable dressing rooms fashioned from partitioned sections of the cavernous space.

Akane's eyes widened as she took it all in. Despite the unglamorous setting, excitement hummed in the air — the magic of filmmaking about to begin.

The production assistant with a clipboard found them immediately. "Akane Kurokawa? You're early." She seemed both surprised and relieved. "Perfect! Let's get you to hair and makeup. Wardrobe is standing by for final adjustments."

Akane squeezed her mother's hand before following the woman through the labyrinth of equipment. In the makeshift makeup area, a kind-faced woman helped her onto a chair.

"First time on a professional set?" the makeup artist asked, arranging brushes and palettes.

"Yes," Akane admitted, trying not to fidget. "Is Arima Kana here yet?"

The makeup artist and a nearby sound technician exchanged a quick glance.

"Not yet," the makeup artist said carefully, beginning to work on Akane's face with gentle strokes. "She usually arrives... on her own schedule."

As the minutes ticked by and Akane's transformation continued — a touch of blush to brighten her cheeks, hair carefully styled into character-appropriate pigtails. The makeup artist admired her work, "You're really an adorable girl," she complimented, letting Akane admire herself in the mirror.

When they were done, Akane sat quietly on a folding chair near the set, now in full costume — a school uniform with a slightly worn appearance, fitting for her character, the less fortunate classmate of Kana's wealthy protagonist. Her script lay open on her lap, though she had already memorized her lines.

Her mother sat nearby, waiting for the shoot to begin, offering encouraging smiles whenever their eyes met. 

The stage was set and the crew paced around making sure they didn't miss anything. The director fidgeted, sitting on his chair, visibly frustrated, "Where is she? We are burning daylight here!" 

They were half an hour behind schedule.

Finally, the classroom's door flung open with dramatic force. A collective tension released from the crew as a small figure entered, followed by two adults — presumably her mother and agent.

Arima Kana had arrived.

She was smaller in person than Akane had imagined, a few centimeters smaller than Akane herself. But she carried herself with the confidence of someone much older, striding across the floor without a care in the world.

Akane's pulse raced. Here, in the flesh, was the girl who she admired the most, whose songs she loved and whose acting she had studied with religious devotion.

"I'll go introduce myself," Akane whispered to her mother, smoothing her costume one last time.

Her mother nodded encouragingly. "Remember, professional and polite."

Akane approached Kana just as her entourage momentarily dispersed to speak with the production staff. This was her chance.

"Hello, Miss Arima," Akane said, bowing respectfully. Her voice was steadier than she expected, "I'm Akane Kurokawa. I'll be playing Yumiko in our scenes together."

Arima turned, her expression unreadable behind her oversized sunglasses that she didn't remove despite being indoors. She didn't respond right away, but her head moved up and down ever so slightly.

Akane continued in the excitement of finally meeting her idol, "I…" she cleared her throat, "I've admired your work for so long. You're the reason I started acting! I've watched every show and movie you've been in, and I know all the words to your songs! I can't believe my first professional role is with you!"

"First?" Arima repeated, slowly removing her oversized sunglasses with deliberate slowness, revealing eyes that held none of the warmth Akane remembers seeing on screen. She looked Akane up and down, her lip curling slightly.

"Ugh…" she said, loud enough for the nearby crew members to hear. "I have to work with an ameteur? Do us all a favor and leave the acting to the professionals"

The words hit Akane like physical blows. Her smile froze, then it crumbled.

"I—, I've been practicing, I won't let you down…" she said, but Kana had already turned away, paying no mind to Akane.

"Miss Assistant Director, please bring me some water." Kana's words at a distance sounded less like a request and more like a demand.

Akane stood rooted to the spot, a strange buzzing in her ears drowning out the activity around her. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder — her mother, who had witnessed everything.

"Akane? It's okay, don't let her words hurt you." her mother said softly, "Let's go review your lines one more time before the shooting starts."

But Akane couldn't focus, Arima Kana's words did hurt. She watched Arima walking around, interacting with the crew, acting like the center of the world, like nothing else and no one else mattered.

The girl Akane had worshipped all this time was nothing like how she remembered her from TV. And she had crushed her with only a few words. Arima Kana's performance, her cheerful songs, her bright smile, her inspirational interviews — were none of it even a little true?

When the director finally called everyone to their places, Akane moved mechanically. Her scene was simple. She was to enter a classroom, be momentarily bullied by Kana's character's friends, then be defended by Kana's character in a moment of unexpected kindness.

"Action!" the director called.

Akane walked through the classroom door on cue, but her normally confident stride had diminished to a hesitant shuffle. Her line — a cheerful "Good morning!" — came out weak and uncertain.

"Cut!" the director called. "Akane, we need more energy. You're an excited new kid in a new school, remember?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "I'll do better."

Three more takes, and each time, something was wrong. Her timing was off. Her expression didn't match her dialogue. The natural talent that had won her the role seemed to have evaporated.

During the fourth attempt, she fumbled her lines completely, her mind suddenly blank where the memorized words should have been.

"Cut! Let's take five," the director said, barely concealing his frustration.

As Akane stepped off the set, she heard Arima's distinctive laugh from where she sat with her managers.

"I expected nothing more from you," Arima said loudly, not bothering to lower her voice. "Your bad acting will make me look even better."

Tears pricked at Akane's eyes, but she turned and blinked them back fiercely.

Her mother quietly appeared at her side with a water bottle and a quiet presence that asked no questions.

"I can't do it," Akane whispered. "She hates me."

"No." her mother replied firmly. "She doesn't even know you. What you're seeing isn't about you at all."

Akane looked up, confusion momentarily displacing her hurt.

"Sometimes," her mother continued, "people we admire aren't what we hoped they would be. But that doesn't change who you are or why you started acting." she smiled with a loving hand on Akane's shoulder, "You love acting, don't you?"

Akane thought for a moment, even though she admired how amazing of an actress Arima is, she had fallen in love with acting itself. She loved performing, drawing out emotions in others, and sometimes even in herself.

"Places everyone!" the assistant director called. "Let's try Kana's close-ups while we're waiting."

Akane moved to the side of the set, no longer needed for this portion of filming. She watched as Arima transformed before the camera. The snide, dismissive girl disappeared entirely, replaced by the charismatic performer Akane had idolized. Her delivery was flawless, her expressions perfectly calibrated to convey exactly what the scene required.

It was, Akane realized, a masterclass in technical perfection. A performance of raw talent.

Arima stepped away from the camera and immediately returned to barking demands at the crew members.

Akane stood straighter, a new understanding dawning. She had entered acting because she loved it — the transformation, the storytelling, the connection with an audience. 

And she knew what she must do. She must shed the character of Akane behind when she steps back in the scene — including all of Akane's thoughts and worries. She must transform into Yumiko — the nervous little girl on her first day of school, to play her perfectly.

"Ready to try again?" the director called to her.

Akane nodded, stepping back onto her mark. This time when "Action" was called, she closed her eyes, and when she opened them. She was Yumiko. She walked through the door and greeted "Good morning" with the right blend of excitement and nervousness.

Right on cue the group of kids approached her and what started as a friendly conversation turned into snarky remarks on how shabby Akane's dress looked, "Are you poor or something?" one asked, laughing.

Akane pulled back with discomfort in her eyes as the kids made fun of her, and Arima entered the scene with a loud, "Hey! Leave her alone!"

The other kids dispersed and Arima asked, "Are you okay?"

Akane looked her in the eye, and whispered with a light nod, "I'm okay."

Akane's performance wasn't perfect, but it was authentic.

The director called "cut" and Arima turned around without another word.

When filming wrapped up for the day, Akane didn't seek out Kana again. She watched her idol — no, co-star — sweep out of the room without acknowledging anyone, trailing assistants and complaints.

"Ready to go home?" her mother asked, helping Akane gather her things.

"Yes." Akane said, surprisingly calm despite the day's emotional turbulence. "But tomorrow, I want to come back early again."

Her determination caught her mother off guard, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Akane nodded firmly, "I really want to be an actress. There's so much more for me to learn."

Her mother smiled, a quiet pride in her eyes.

Akane thought for a moment as they stepped out into the late afternoon sun. "I do love acting," she said to her mother with a smile as they walked to the car. Akane felt the weight of her shattered illusions, but beneath the disappointment lay something unexpected — a foundation of her own, no longer built on the shifting sands of someone else's image.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : I know updates have been slow, I've been dealing with burnout and I've lost the motivation to write in the past month.
Regardless, I hope you all enjoy reading this, we finally meet a little Akane Kurokawa. And if you're wondering why Kana is mostly reffered to as Arima, it's because the scene was in Akane's perspective - she would call her Arima-san (I don't use honorifics, but she did call her Miss Arima) as they're not close yet.

Up Next - Chapter 5 : I can dance?
Take a wild guess what the next chapter will be about.

Chapter 5: I can't Dance (part 1)

Summary:

How Sarina/Ruby came to fear something as simple as dancing.

Sarina had got a really bad case of headaches lately, ones that won't go away even after multiple doctor visits.

She had fainted running around with her classmates in the school playground. Teachers called her parents and she was taken to the hospital — again.

A bunch of tests and a few days later, she was back at the hospital. The antiseptic smell of the hospital clung to everything, and the fluorescent lights made her head throb dully. Sat sat on a bench, swinging her legs, watching her parents discuss her test reports with the doctor.

She couldn't hear what they were saying, she wasn't within earshot but she could see her mother's hands tremble as she clutched the papers, and her father's shoulder was rigid with tension. It wasn't long before her mother broke into tears, her father quickly tried his best to help her stay on her feet, wrapping a supportive arm around her.

Sarina jumped from the chair and made her way to her parents, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. "Mama! What's wrong?" she asked, her small hand reaching for her mother.

Her mother fell down to her level and hugged her, tears still spilling over, dampening her shirt's collar. "Sarina… Sarina…" she said between her sobs but couldn't bring herself to say more.

Her father picked her mother up, his eyes too held the tears back, glistening under the harsh hospital lights.

"Papa, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice full of concern, a cold knot of fear forming in her stomach.

"Sarina…" he looked into her eyes, hugging her and her mother as she cried onto his shirt, "You'll be staying in the hospital for a while… okay?"

"Why?" Sarina asked, confused, "I feel completely fine!" She pulled away and playfully performed some stretches to confirm, touching her toes and spinning around with a smile.

Her father just stared at her, with emotions behind his eyes she couldn't yet understand.

That was the first day she spent in the Tokyo hospital. One day turned to a week. One week turned to a month. One month turned into two. She insisted on coming back home, that she was all good, but no one ever listened to her.

She missed her parents, her school, her friends. The ordinary life she took for granted, now seemed like a distant dream.

But all she could do was stay in her hospital bed and mindlessly flip through the TV channels. Nothing interesting ever goes on there. The same dramas, the same game shows, the same news. Time stretched endlessly.

Until, music fell into her ears. The tune was catchy, the beat was dance worthy, after listening a while, Sarina jumped on her feet to throw her arms with each beat, lightly bouncing on her feet. For a moment, she forgot her pain, replaced by the rhythm flowing through her veins.

As she danced, she saw the girls on the TV performing, the text below read — "B-komachi's debut" and she was mesmerized by their performance. Their movements were synchronised, their smiles genuines and their voices full of infectious energy.

All the girls performing were about her age. And they all looked so pretty and so amazing. 

She could close her eyes and almost picture herself performing with them. Feeling the spotlight warm on her face, the cheers of the crowds rising up with every beat and every note.

Their performance was followed by a small interview of the Idol group's members. And they introduced themselves with bright smiles and brighter waves.

Ari, Kyun, Nino and Ai.

"Thank you for watching our debut performance," they all said with enthusiasm in their voices, bowing slightly to the camera.

"We aim to be the best Idol group in all of Japan!" Nino said, her eyes sparkling with determination. "Please attend our upcoming concert in Tokyo's Sunshine city Plaza this 28th. We will be performing a lot more for all of you!"

The interview ended just as it started, and the show moved on. But the music of B-komachi was stuck in her head, the catchy tune playing on repeat.

Their next concert was in two weeks, and the venue was not far from the hospital. And the next time her mother visited, she begged her to take her there. Her mother couldn't decide if to take her or not, and the doctors assured her that Sarina's condition was stable and there were no signs of it worsening.

"A day out wouldn't hurt, but if there's any discomfort you would rush back here okay?" the doctor had said.

And so, when the 28th arrived, her mother took her to the concert. Just like she had promised.

Sarina was ecstatic, finally being out of the hospital after three months.

She ran around the crowd, asking her mother if she could try out all the treats from the various vendors. After grabbing a couple sweets she resumed her running around, checking out all the merchandise for all the Idol groups that were performing there. Her mother followed behind, smiling at her daughter's joy but watching carefully for any signs of fatigue.

Soon, B-komachi's performance was announced. Sarian abandoned her quest of visiting every merch vendor and pulled on her mother's arm, "Come on! Hurry, we will miss it!"

They cut through the crowd to find a good spot where Sarina could see the stage without any obstructions.

The four girls of B-komachi waved as they walked to the stage, looking pretty in their pastel dresses, each wearing a different color, making them instantly recognizable and the lights made them shine in just the right angles. Without wasting a second, the beats began, filling the crowd with energy, the music followed and the girls were on their marks.

The performance began with a cascade of lights that bathed the stage in a soft glow. As the first notes played, the girls moved in perfect unison, their choreography both elegant and powerful. Ai, the center, executed a perfect spin that made her dress bloom around her like a flower. Nino hit every high note with precision that made the crowd cheer. Kyun and Ari danced with such joy that it seemed impossible not to smile watching them.

Sarina stood transfixed, barely blinking, afraid to miss even a moment. The music wasn't just something she heard — it resonated within her, making her forget the constant dull ache in her head, the weakness in her limbs, the hospital room waiting for her return. For these precious minutes, it felt like she was part of something beautiful.

B-komachi's performance ended with a bang — a simultaneous leap forward followed by a graceful landing and a heart gesture toward the audience — Sarina's eyes filled with tears of joy. She mimicked the final move, her small body swaying with the music, imagining herself on that stage. Her mother watched her with a bittersweet smile on her face.

After their performance, confetti rained down on the crowd, and members of B-komachi held hands, bowing deeply to their fans. The audience erupted in cheers and applause, Sarina's voice among the loudest, her hands clapping until they stung.

Sarina was almost disappointed in how quickly the show ended. But her disappointment quickly turned into enthusiasm when she received a flier — B-komachi holding auditions for new members next month.

Her heart leapt at the possibility. 

Could she really?

She looked at her mother with gleaming eyes, and her mother knew what they were asking.

She smiled, "You can try when you're all better."

"Yes!" she squealed, and carefully put the flier in her pocket.

On the way back, they came across a vendor selling Idol merch, among them were also some of B-komachi's. Sarina's eyes locked onto a keychain with a doodle — a little caricature of Ai with her signature on it.

Sarina tugged on her mother's sleeves, pointing at it with longing. "Can I get it, mama? Please?"

Her mother couldn't resist those eyes, and she fished out her purse. It was a small expense compared to the joy it brought her daughter. Sarina clutched the keychain to her chest as if it were made of gold. A connection to the dream that bubbled in her.

Sarina's treatment at the Tokyo hospital had proven expensive. Her parent's had anticipated that much, but it still strained their savings. The bills piled up, each one more daunting than the last. Sarina's condition was not getting worse, miraculously, rather, she was showing minor signs of recovery, giving her parents and the doctors a sigh of relief.

Her parent's consulted the doctors about moving her to a different hospital. It wasn't recommended but there seemed no harm in moving her. Their research led them to Ebihara hospital in Miyazaki prefecture, they had specialists for her condition and the place would be cheaper.

They moved her just a week before B-komachi's auditions. Needless to say, Sarina was not happy, but she understood the strain in her father's eyes when he thought she wasn't looking.

"I understand," she said softly when he explained she had to leave Tokyo.

Her mother comforted her, seeing her clutch the auditions flier, "One day, you'll be strong enough to try for it. I know it."

Sarina smiled faintly, but her mother saw the sadness and disappointment behind her eyes.

In her new hospital room in Miyazaki, she would be alone in her room except when the doctors or nurses would visit. Her parents visited her every weekend, bringing meals that filled the room with familiar scents of her mother's cooking. Her mother also brought her B-komachi's music DVDs. As they talked about everyday things, the cold spaces of the room were quickly filled with warmth.

But the warmth only lasted a day or two. She tried her best to keep her spirits up and B-komachi's music became a daily ritual for her. She would turn the volume up and sway her body to the music, and sing along trying to hit all the notes, transforming the room into something warmer, forgetting completely that it was a hospital room.

As days went by, her legs developed a weird sensation that she couldn't really explain, but that wouldn't stop her from performing "Star T-rain" in her hospital room.

She attempted the chorus dance — a series of quick steps followed by a twirl. Her legs wobbled beneath her, stopping her mid-movement. She frowned, then concentrated harder and tried again. This time, her right leg simply refused to move the way she had wanted, as if there was something wrong with the connection between her brain and her leg. She lost control and fell down, catching herself on the edge of the bed, her palms stinging from the impact.

She took a moment to relax and catch her breath.

"I just need more practice," she told herself, brushing off her hospital gown. Once her legs felt fine, she tried again, and during a particularly hard dance step, she felt her balance disappear completely. Her body tilted sideways, and she crashed onto the floor with a thud that seemed to echo through her bones.

A nurse immediately rushed in, alarmed by the noise. "Sarina! What happened?!"

Sarina looked up, with fear and confusion in her eyes. It wasn't the fall that scared her. It was the moment before, when her body simply wouldn't do what she asked of it. "I was just dancing," she said, her voice small, ",,, and I fell…"

The nurse helped her back to the bed, checking her for any injuries. "You must be careful, Sarina. Your body needs rest to heal."

"I understand…" she whispered.

"Does it hurt anywhere?" The nurse asked, finding no injury on her.

"No." she replied quietly.

The nurse nodded and took her leave, but not before lowering the volume of the TV. Leaving her to enjoy her music in peace.

One sunday afternoon, Sarina's parents left her with the bentobox, as they needed to discuss her progress with the doctors. She sat in her room eyeing the bento, but couldn't help herself and peeked out through the door. Her parents discussed with the doctor a few steps away in the hallway, but she was close enough to make out what they were talking about.

"Her survival is tough," the doctor was saying, his voice professional but not unkind. "And while her condition is not deteriorating rapidly, the prognosis remains… challenging."

Her parents argued, their voices rising with desperation, "But she was making progress in Tokyo!! She was recovering!!" Her father's voice was strained, almost unrecognizable.

"We are doing the best we can. But the survival rate of Brain cancer is very slim, especially in children. It's a miracle she held out for as long as she has."

Brain Cancer. The words echoed in Sarina's mind, finally giving shape to the monster that had been lurking in the shadows of doctor's visits and worried glances. She knew she was sick, but hearing it laid bare like this made the fear real in a way it hadn't been before.

Her parents talked among themselves in the hallway, their voices dropping to whispers. "We have to hold onto hope," her mother said, though her voice trembled. "She's strong. Our Sarina is strong. Let's move her back to Tokyo."

Her father was quiet in thought, "Three months there had burned through our savings—"

"Does money matter more to you than our daughter?!" she yelled at his face.

"... You're right, I'll arrange it. Let's move her back." he said and hugged her.

They left for Tokyo that very afternoon, barely spending any time with Sarina. And they rushed to the hospital the moment they set foot in Tokyo.

The doctors went through Sarina's reports and scans from Miyazaki, and after half an hour of careful observation, he broke his silence.

"Mr. Tendouji… She has entered the final stage, and I'm very sad to inform you that her days are numbered. Survival rate for anaplastic astrocytoma is very less, especially in children, and once diagnosed most don't live more than two years. It looks like she was diagnosed very late and there's not much we can do."

Sarina's mother broke down crying and her voice came out primal and wounded, "No No No, you have to try—! She's only twelve!"

Her father comforted her, holding his own emotions back.

The doctor continued, "We'll do everything we can, but… the tumor's progression tells us she may only have a few months. I’m sorry."

Back in Miyazaki, Sarina was determined not to let the walls of her room define her world. One morning, she decided to walk around the hospital, looking to step out for fresh air, to feel the sun on her face. Her room was on the first floor, and while coming down the stairs, the strange disconnection happened again — her legs felt similarly weird as she had felt when she was dancing yesterday.

Before she knew it, she had tripped and came tumbling down the last few steps. The impact knocked the breath from her lungs, and the pain rose across her arms and knees. She had hurt herself badly and a doctor, who had been passing by, came rushing to help.

"Hey! Are you okay? Can you stand?" he asked as he helped her sit on the floor. "What happened?"

Tears formed in her eyes, from the frustration of not being able to understand what was wrong with her, "I don't know… I fell… My legs…" she spoke between sobs.

"Easy there, calm down." He tried comforting her, inspecting how bad her injuries were. A nurse brought antiseptic, cotton swabs, and bandages. She had scraped her palms raw and bruises were already forming on her knees and elbows. The doctor gently cleaned her wounds, wincing sympathetically when she flinched from the sting of antiseptic. With practiced hands, he patched her up, applying colorful band-aids to the worst scrapes.

The doctor brought a wheelchair from nearby and helped her sit on it. "Were you going outside?"

Sarina nodded.

"I don't have many patients to attend to right now. Mind if I join you?" he asked with a smile.

Sarina chuckled, momentarily forgetting her pain.

"I'm Doctor Gorou." he introduced himself as he pushed the wheelchair out.

"I'm Sarina."

"Sarina… Sarina…" he pondered for a moment, "Are you the girl from the room where it's blasting music all the time? You must be having a heck of a time here."

Sarina didn't respond immediately, feeling the sun on her face as they stepped outside, savoring the warmth that the hospital rooms never seem to capture.

"My legs…" she began, "I can't feel my legs sometimes… Will I not be able to dance anymore?" the question caught in her throat.

Gorou knew about her condition.

"I can't promise you what you will be or will not be able to do, Sarina. But we will help you find ways to do the things that you love."

Sarina smiled, "Will you?"

"I promise," Gorou replied.

As they toured the front of the hospital and talked, he listened as she poured out weeks of bottled up thoughts and feelings. Her words tumbled out like a river breaking through a dam — her passion for B-komachi and her dream of becoming an Idol making her eyes light up, her stories of her parent's visits making her voice soften with love, the wistful way she spoke about her school and friends. It was as though she'd been saving these conversations, these pieces of herself, waiting for someone to truly listen. In return, he shared bits of his own life, though he spoke in more of a professional doctor way, explaining things about the hospital, and how the bravest thing to do is adapt when life changes your plans.

The next day when she was in her hospital room and tried dancing again. The B-komachi song, "Heart's Kiss" played from the TV, and Sarina stood in the center of the room, determined to make it through just one chorus. She started slowly, moving her arms first, then attempting the footwork. For a few glorious moments, her body co-operated, and the joy surged through her.

But then, as she attempted a simple spin, she ended up falling with a shriek, the same way as before — suddenly , as if a puppet's string had been cut. This time she scraped her shin badly against the bed frame, blood beading along the scrape.

A nurse rushed in, drawn by the noise and gasped at the sight. "Sarina!" she scolded gently, helping her to the bed and cleaning her wound. "You must be more careful. No more dancing, okay?"

The nurse's words, though meant kindly, felt like a prison sentence. No more dancing. No more dreams of joining B-komachi. No more feeling the music move through her like it was a part of her very being.

She felt bad, that she couldn't enjoy what she liked, that something as simple as moving to music was now forbidden. After the nurse left, Sarina slowly walked out of her room to get fresh air, to escape the walls that seemed to be closing in on her.

When she was in front of the stairs, the same stairs that had betrayed her the day before, she found herself frozen with fear. The steps seemed to swim before her eyes, each one a potential disaster. Her heart hammered in her chest, her palms grew slick with sweat. What if she fell again? What if next time she hurt herself worse?

She grabbed the grabrail so tightly that her knuckles turned white, and she descended slowly, watching her steps carefully as if they belonged to someone else. 

One step, then another, then another.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : I didn't want to spilt the chapter but it grew too big.
There are likely medical inaccuracies in the chapter, I am not a doctor (obviously), nor do I understand much of what I was able to research. And I twisted some facts to fit the story.

Up next - Chapter 6 : I can't Dance (part 2)

Thank you for the support through my bad update schedule.

Chapter 6: I can't Dance (part 2)

Summary:

Ruby learns she can dance.
Nanako learns she can't.
Warning : Dark themes.

A month after Ai's return from the hospital, the family had settled back into the gentle rhythm of daily life. What once loomed as a dark chapter now felt like a bad dream.

Each morning unfolded with the same tender ritual. Miyako and Ai prepared breakfast for everyone with meticulous love and care, the twins dressed themselves for school with surprising independence. Ruby waved goodbye with animated excitement from the window of the school bus, Aqua waved too, though much calmer.

At school, the twins swiftly completed their writing and drawing assignments with ease, and retreated to doing whatever they pleased for the day. Being a child was effortless for both of them.

Aqua fetched a book from the teacher's little library — no one ever stopped him, instead whether he could actually read or was he merely pretending became a topic of discussion among the teachers. Meanwhile, Ruby was hunched over her desk. Her fingers worked with focused precision as she assembled a jigsaw puzzle, half an elephant already taking shape beneath her careful hands.

All the children sat quietly, most of them still working on their alphabets when the teacher clapped her hands to get their attention.

"Children!" she announced, her voice carrying bright enthusiasm, "I have wonderful news about the next month's annual festival. Our class will be performing a special dance this year!"

"Everyone, form a circle! We'll begin practicing from today!" The teacher gestured broadly, ushering the excited children to the center of the classroom.

The assistant teacher brought in a small boombox and plugged it into the wall, setting the correct music and volume.

Aqua slid from his chair, already moving towards the gathering when he noticed Ruby hadn't moved. She sat perfectly still, her eyes fixed forward, lost in some private thought.

"Ruby?" He called.

She blinked rapidly, coming back from wherever her mind had been wandering. "Uh… yeah… coming." she muttered, sliding from her seat and trailing behind her brother to join the circle.

The music began. A cheerful melody with a simple rhythm. The teacher demonstrated a light bounce on her toes, encouraging the children to feel the beat through their bodies.

While the other children followed with gleeful excitement, Ruby's gaze remained locked on her feet, her movements stiff and hesitant.

The teacher noticed her nervousness, "Ruby? Everything okay?" she said gently, "No need to be nervous, try looking up at me."

Slowly Ruby lifted her eyes, but tension radiated through her small frame as she continued the mechanical bouncing motion.

The teacher moved onto the next step, one arm raised gracefully overhead, then the other culminating in a simple twirl on her toes.

Children attempted to follow, some with precision while others with endearing clumsiness.

When Ruby's turn came to twirl, her feet tangled beneath her like vines and she pitched forward. Her quick reflexes saved her from a complete fall as her palms slammed against the cold floor.

"Ruby! Are you alright?" The teacher rushed to her side as Ruby calmed her breath.

"I'm okay…" she whispered, her voice barely audible as she pushed herself upright.

The teacher inspected her for any injuries. There was no physical damage but Ruby was the only one who fell. Giggles rippled through the crowd of children, their whispers sharp enough to pierce her ears.

"She couldn't do a simple spin?!"

"I thought she was good at everything."

"Guess she's not perfect after all."

Embarrassment flushed across her face like a fever. She quietly excused herself and retreated back to her desk. She sat down and buried her head in her arms on the desk.

Watching her distress, Aqua too, excused himself and followed her without waiting for the teacher's approval.

"Ruby?" He slid into the chair beside her, and spoke in a gentle voice.

Before he could say more, her shoulder began to tremble with silent sobs.

"Ruby, it's okay. It's just a silly dance." Aqua comforted.

"It's not okay!" Ruby countered without lifting her head, her voice muffled against her arms, "I'm Ai's daughter… and I can't even do a simple spin…"

Aqua leaned closer, "Everyone starts somewhere, you know. Even our mother wasn't perfect when she started. You've seen how she spent days practicing to be where she is."

Ruby's quiet sobbing stopped for a moment. Then she whispered, "But… it's scary…"

"Dancing scares you?" Aqua asked.

"All my memories of dancing… are bad…" she confessed.

"Then make some new good memories with dancing. You just need practice. That's all."

Ruby lifted her head and turned her shimmering eyes towards her brother, "You think so?" she whispered.

"Yeah." He smiled.

Slowly, Ruby straightened in her seat, brushing the unformed tears from her eyes with her small fingers. She looked at the kids trying to dance, none of them had perfect moves, but still they tried their best, again and again. 

As she watched, her hands began to rise, fingers tracing the patterns in the air, mimicking the teachers movements, committing them to memory.

"You want to try again?" Aqua asked.

"Not yet… but, when I'm ready."

- x -

 

When Ruby returned home from school, she threw her backpack on the couch and immediately rushed back towards the door, catching Miyako by surprise.

"Where are you going in such a hurry, Ruby?"

"Second floor!" she shouted just as she stepped out of the house. She descended the stairs slowly, one step at a time, her hand trailing the wall for support.

When she entered the practice hall, she found it was empty. It had been empty since Ai was hospitalized. But the place was still maintained well, not a speck of dust on the floor and the windows were spotless. The evening sunlight slanted through them, casting long golden rectangles across the polished floor. Ruby's small stature made the room feel much bigger than it was.

She took her surroundings in and then walked over to the wall with mirror panels. She stared at herself for a moment, then she began with simple stretches, a basic warm-up routine she had seen Ai do countless times before. Reaching up towards the ceiling, she stood up on her toes and almost stumbled back, but she caught herself. She moved on to torso twists, loosening up her arms and shoulders.

When she was ready, she began moving her arms, trying to remember the dance moves from school.

And once everything clicked in her mind, she took a deep breath, then began the dance sequence. Step-touch, step-touch, arms moving in a gentle wave. She moved carefully, her eyes locked on her reflection, analyzing every movement. Then came the part she dreaded — the spin.

Ruby hesitated, then forced herself into the turn. Immediately, her legs tensed up, her hands ready to catch herself. Her legs stumbled, but she managed to catch herself with her palms hitting the floor instead of her body.

"Come on," she muttered to herself, standing up again, "It's just a spin."

She tried again. Step-touch, step-touch, and… fall. This time she managed to catch herself against the wall. But she didn't lose her determination one bit.

Her third attempt played out the same — maybe worse. Her body tensed even more, and she stumbled again. And She tried once more.

"You're dancing Ruby?" Ai's voice cut through the silence of the hall.

Ruby froze and she turned to see Ai walking in with a smile.

"Mama!... I was just practicing for school…" her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. How long had she been watching? "... We have to perform at the school festival."

Ai walked further in the room, her movements naturally graceful even in casual clothes. "You've got good form, you'll be an amazing dancer with practice." she crouched down, and patted her head.

Ruby looked at their reflection side by side. Her mother — the legendary Idol, and herself, who couldn't even do a simple spin. The contrast was too much.

"What's wrong?" Ai asked, noticing the shadow that passed over her daughter's face.

"... I'm your daughter — daughter of the greatest Idol ever and… I can't even do a simple spin without falling." The frustration that had been building inside her all day poured out. "Everyone at school laughed at me… And I just, I don't understand why I can't do it. It's like my body won't listen to me sometimes."

Something flickered in Ai's eyes, a momentary sadness or concern that was gone so quickly, Ruby couldn't be sure she'd seen it at all.

"Dance isn't about being perfect right away," Ai said softly, "It's about letting your body flow. You're thinking too much about the mechanics." She stepped behind Ruby, placing gentle hands on her shoulder. "You need to trust your body and let it flow."

"But I can't," Ruby whispered, "Everytime I try, I fall."

"You're trying too hard not to fall, and so you're tensing up your whole body. Try again," Ai encouraged, taking a step back to give her enough space to move freely. "But this time, feel the rhythm. Don't count the steps."

Ruby took a deep breath and began the sequence again. Step-touch, step-touch, and as she prepared for a spin, that familiar fear gripped her. Her legs wobbled beneath her, and she stumbled forward.

"It's hard." she said, tears of frustration forming in her eyes. "Trusting my body… is hard."

Ai stepped back behind her. She took Ruby's hand in hers and held it slightly above her head, creating a secure frame. "Then trust me until you're ready," she said warmly, "Now you won't fall."

Ruby looked up at her mother's encouraging smile, feeling the strength of her hands holding her firmly, yet gently.

"Let's try again," Ai said, "I've got you."

With her mother's hand supporting her, Ruby began the sequence. As she moved into the spin, she leaned one side a little too much, but Ai provided just enough stability to keep her upright, and Ruby finally completed her spin.

They did it again, and again, each time with Ai providing less and less support, but still watching her daughter's balance like a hawk.

"Don't overthink it," Ai advised as they prepared for another attempt. "Your body already knows what to do if you let it."

On the seventh try, Ruby felt something shift — doing the spin with her mother's support over and over filled her with confidence that overshadowed all her fear momentarily. And as she completed her spin, she realized Ai had let go of her completely. 

Ruby had done it herself.

Her eyes widened in disbelief, "I did it…" she whispered.

Ruby erupted in a squeal of delight. She jumped up and down, then threw herself into her mother's arms. Ai caught her, spinning them both around in a celebratory twirl that made them laugh with pure joy.

"Mama! Mama! Let me show you the whole dance!" Ruby said eagerly, pulling back from the embrace, "Can you help me with the other parts too?"

"I'd love to," Ai replied.

With a newfound confidence, Ruby demonstrated the entire routine they'd learned in class, her movements still hesitant but no longer frozen with fear. Her crude, unpracticed gestures sketched out the basic framework of the dance.

Ai watched intently, her performer's eyes catching every nuance of the choreography. When Ruby finished, Ai nodded thoughtfully.

"Let me try," she said.

What happened next left Ruby breathless. Ai took the rough outlines Ruby had shown her and transformed it into something magical. Her body seemed to capture the very essence of the beat and music even though there was none playing. Each step was precise, yet flowing. Each gesture was imbued with emotion and story. The simple school dance became art in Ai's interpretation.

Ruby stood transfixed, watching her mother with awe and wonder.

That's why her mother was a legend, not just because of her voice or her beauty, but because of how she could speak without words, how she could make the simplest of movements seem profound.

When Ai finished, she turned to find her daughter staring at her with awe.

"Will you teach me?" Ruby asked, "I want to dance like that!"

Ai smiled softly, "Ofcourse I will." She held out her hand, "Come on, let's practice together."

They started from the beginning. Ai stood behind Ruby as they faced the mirror together, "Watch how I shift my weight," she instructed, guiding Ruby through the movement, "That's the secret to keeping your balance during turns."

They practiced each segment slowly, Ai patiently guiding Ruby to understand not just the steps but the feeling behind them. Where Ruby had been stiff with concentration before, she now began to loosen up, allowing the rhythm to guide her.

As the evening light began to fade, mother and daughter moved in sync across the practice room floor, their reflections dancing alongside them in the mirrors of the wall. Ai still led, calling out gentle reminders and encouragement. And Ruby followed with growing confidence, her fear of falling gradually replaced by the simple joy of movement.

In those moments, dancing with her mother in the empty practice hall, Ruby felt something — a sense of rightness, a connection not just to Ai, but something deeper. Something that resonated in her very soul. It was as if her body was remembering something her mind had forgotten. As if she had been meant to dance all along.

And for the first time since she could remember, the nameless fear that had always haunted her steps began to recede, replaced by the warmth of her mother's guiding presence.

- x -

 

The biggest Idol Agency had announced auditions months ago, and the day had finally arrived. The audition hall was filled with energy, packed with more contestants than anyone had anticipated. Young hopefuls huddled in corners, visibly nervous, performing their final touch ups and pre-performance rituals before their turn.

But one contestant stood out.

"Nanako! You're up in five minutes," an assistant called out.

The layers of her light blue dress flowed gracefully behind her as she walked. She carried herself with a confidence that seemed to defy the tense atmosphere — the calm certainty of someone who believed her future was already secured.

She followed the spotlight to the center of the stage. The music began with bang and Nanako moved with a grace that seemed to paint the music into the air. Every twirl of her dress was sharp, every gesture precise, yet full of emotion. There was no hesitation in her steps — only the kind of fire that comes from years of dreaming. 

When the final beat hit, she froze in perfect stillness, breathing hard, smiling just slightly.

Three judges sat across from her, and they nodded when her performance finished.

"Very well done, Miss Nanako. You have certainly been training hard, and it shows." The judge on the left said.

"Thank you, It's forever been my dream to be an Idol."

"And do you think it will be a reality today?"

She smiled, "I'm positive it will."

"I like your confidence, Miss Nanako," the right judge remarked and he looked down at her application, his expression souring as he'd tasted something bitter. "But I'm afraid, we are looking for someone younger."

"Huh?" Nanako's confidence waned.

"It's a shame, you have real talent. And you look really pretty too, you would make a great Idol. But we need someone who would blend in with the other members," the left judge said.

Nanako stood there, her heart pacing up. Her eyes moved among the judges and fixated on the middle Judge who had made no comment so far, quietly begging him to say something.

"I'm sorry Miss. Nanako," he finally spoke. "But the decision is unanimous."

"But…" she whispered, "you promised…"

Her words caught the other judges' attention, and she said again, louder. "You promised!" Her eyes filled with tears about to spill.

But before she could say anything more, security and the assistant rushed over and dragged her out.

"What was that about, Mr Arakawa?" the judge on the left asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Ah…" his fingers adjusted his tie, "I've met her before. She's got the looks and the talent, and I told her she'd make a great Idol and suggested she audition." He shrugged with practiced nonchalance, "I didn't think she'd break down on being rejected."

"That's a real shame. If only she was a couple years younger. Nineteen's a bit too old to be starting as an Idol," Judge on the right said.

"Real shame." Mr. Arakawa said, straightening the cuffs of his shirt before calling, "Next!"

Nanako was escorted out of the building by the security and she stood there, closed doors behind her, wiping her tears. No matter what she said or did, they wouldn't let her back in, and she had nowhere to go, but home.

She wandered aimlessly around the crowded streets, invisible among the masses despite her flowing dress. Eventually, she stumbled into an empty park. She collapsed into a bench, her body was exhausted. Her mind is even more so, replaying the events of her being rejected. He rejected her, how could he?

"Hey, are you okay?" A little boy's voice called out to her. She had been sitting motionless for a while, and didn't even notice the dry tear steaks along her cheeks.

"No…" she whispered.

"Do you need help? Should I call someone?" the boy asked.

"No one can help me…" her voice was low, defeated.

He climbed up on the bench beside her, "That's not true, there are always people who can help."

"I failed… no one can fix that…"

"You can always try again."

"I can't be an Idol, it's too late for me."

"That's not true, I know Idols older than you."

Nanako peered at the little boy beside her, "None of them started at nineteen." she whispered between controlled sobs, her tears threatening to spill. "Why… why…"

The boy stood on his seat and moved closer in an attempt to provide some comfort. Nanako's body leaned and clung to him, her tears began to spill. "Why didn't he pick me?! I gave it my all, I did everything he asked of me. EVERYTHING. Then why… he promised he would pick me…"

The boy said nothing, but quietly provided her support by merely being present.

Nanako sobbed as she held him, her tears flowing down the dry trail on her cheeks.

"It's okay…" the boy whispered, "Everything will be okay… You can still try again, or maybe try something else?"

She lifted her head and wiped her tears.

"I don't want to anymore…" she whispered, her voice still defeated.

The boy didn't know what to say. He sat quietly, looking at the defeated girl, trying to find the right words.

"Aqua!" Saitou's voice called, "There you are!" he jogged over to the bench.

Nanako quickly wiped her face to look as presentable as possible.

"Did you trouble this young lady? That's not very nice of you." he scolded Aqua.

"No, he is a very nice kid." She said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Aqua gestured to Mr Saitou to lean in, and he whispered in his ear, "It looks like she got rejected from an Idol audition. Is there something you can do for her?"

Saitou looked the lady up and down — flowing black hair, equally flowing blue dress, soft diamond face and shining black eyes. She was pretty, undoubtedly. "She does look a little too old to start as an Idol. And we are not forming any new groups anytime soon."

"How about a model or something?" Aqua asked.

Saitou hummed in thought. "The kid's got quite an eye."

Then he fetched out his card and offered it to Nanako, smiling encouragingly.

"I'm the manager of an entertainment agency." He extended his business card. "Here, feel free to drop by. You've got the looks — you could certainly be a good model."

… you could certainly be …

 The familiar words triggered something visceral in Nanako. Her heart raced and she hesitated. She scooted away from both of them, and the bench suddenly felt like a trap.

"I'm good…" she said quietly, but the fear was unmistakable in her voice. Her eyes darted between the man and the business card. Without another word, she rose to her feet and hastily walked away, her blue dress fluttering behind her.

- x -

 

Nanako hadn't changed out of the clothes she had auditioned in. Her stomach growled, but she didn't feel like eating. She spent the rest of the day wasting away on her bed, replaying her rejection — not just her rejection, but everything that led to that.

That night, as most nights, Nanako pulled out her diary. She had a habit of scribbling her thoughts and important moments of her life, solidifying them in ink.

The dimly lit room made it harder to focus, but her pen flowed regardless,

February 21st, 2014

Dear Diary,

It's funny isn't it? I tried to cheat the system and the system cheated me right back.

I knew there were awful people in the industry but I would never have guessed that Mr. Arakawa was one of them.

I should have known. He guided me, and gave me hope that I was still good enough to become a great Idol, despite my age. He encouraged me every time we met, and he told me he would be the judge for the upcoming audition and he can get me in. 

And I just couldn't say no when he asked me to meet him alone, over and over.

It would have hurt my chances if I didn't. 

I did everything he asked of me.

And he promised he would convince the other judges for me. I knew he had the power, but I was stupid to believe he would.

I spent years working hard to become a great Idol but I always fell short of something… I never knew what I was doing wrong. Perhaps it was bad luck. Maybe the world didn't want me to become an Idol.

My parents didn't. I should have stopped when mom and dad asked me to. 

I wish they were here. I miss them. I've spent years alone here in Tokyo.

I thought sacrificing my relationship with my parents, my time, my health, my… dignity would be finally worth it when I would shine like a star.

It was all for nothing.

How do I go back home? Face my parents after everything I've done. They won't even accept me back.

I'm sorry, I failed.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : I know readers don't care for the OC's, but I can't expand on the universe without introducing a few new characters.

Up next - Chapter 7 : Paranoia

Chapter 7: Behind the Scene

Summary:

Aqua and Ruby's first ever performance on stage! Ai couldn't be more proud.

Every evening after school Ruby would rush down to the practice hall, where her mother would join her. Together, they worked through each step of the school dance, Ai's gentle corrections guiding Ruby towards steady improvement.

"Remember to breathe through the turns," Ai would remind her, demonstrating the fluid motion once more, "Trust your body, it knows what to do."

And slowly, Ruby began to believe her.

When Ruby felt ready to demonstrate her newfound skills to her classmates, she rejoined the group and surprised everyone. The girl who had once fallen during a simple spin now moved with grace that surpassed her peers. Her movements now had a natural rhythm that seemed to flow from somewhere deep within.

"Ruby! That was amazing!" The teacher exclaimed after watching her complete the steps almost perfectly. "You've improved so much! You must be practicing a lot at home?"

Ruby's eyes lit up with pride, "Yes! Mama taught me. I practice with her every day!"

"You practiced with your mother? I never would have guessed Mrs. Miyako danced." the teacher said thoughtfully.

Ruby's bright smile faltered for just a moment, quickly replaced by a nervous laugh that seemed to slip past the teacher's notice. But not Aqua's — he shot her a sharp look, silently warning her to be more careful with her words.

The other children stared in wonder. Some whispered among themselves with newfound respect, though a few still harbored traces of their earlier skepticism.

"She's actually good now?" one child muttered.

"Her mama taught her?" whispered another with a hint of jealousy.

As the days passed, the entire class improved steadily. Their five-year-old efforts were endearing and impressive in their own right, but Ruby couldn't shake the persistent feeling that it wasn't enough.

She was Ai's daughter — daughter of perfection itself. Shouldn't her performance be absolutely flawless?

The night before the festival, Ruby lay awake in bed staring at the ceiling, her mind replaying every sequence, every potential misstep she might make on stage tomorrow. Her performance was best in her class, and was impressive for a five year old, but nowhere near flawless as one would expect from Ai's daughter.

Unlike her restless thoughts, her brother and mother slept peacefully. Ai lying between her kids. The steady ticking of the clock grew louder in the silence.

Unable to bear the restless any longer, Ruby carefully slipped out of the warm covers. She retrieved the keys to the practice hall and quietly unlocked the front door. The cold air hit her face making her shiver and the walls were even colder on her palms, but she pressed on, making her cautious way down to the hall.

Her small hands could barely reach the lock, stretching on her tiptoes to turn the key. The hall offered her little warmth — the metal door handle still made her fingers tremble with cold. Moonlight streamed through the tall windows, casting the empty space in an ethereal, almost magical glow.

She dragged a chair across the floor to reach the light switch and hopped down to face the mirrored wall.

For a moment, she simply stood there watching her reflection.

When she felt ready, she filled her lungs with the cool air and began her dance routine, watching every movement with critical precision, making sure they were as flawless as they could be. She moved through the routine again and again, her small figure casting long, dancing shadows across the polished floor.

Each repetition had to be perfect. Each turn had to be seamless. Each movement had to flow perfectly to the next.

"Ruby?"

She froze mid-spin, startled to find Aqua standing in the doorway, his hair tousled from sleep and concern etched across his face.

"Did I wake you?" she asked quietly.

"No. But you scared me," Aqua said, stepping into the cold room. "I was about to wake mother up when I couldn't find you anywhere in the house. What are you doing here this late?"

"I…" Ruby hesitated, her breath visible in small puffs, "I was just… doing one final practice run for tomorrow."

"You've practiced enough." he said firmly but gently, "You need a rested body if you are going to perform tomorrow. Let's go back to bed before mother wakes up."

"But…" Ruby's voice cracked slightly, "What if I mess up tomorrow? I can't make any mistakes. My performance has to be perfect!"

"Ruby, it's okay." Aqua reassured her, moving closer. "No one's expecting you to be perfect. You've been practicing so hard, and you're amazing. You'll do great tomorrow."

"You don't get it…" Ruby shook her head slightly. "I'm Ai's daughter. I can't make any mistakes in any performance. Ever."

Aqua watched his sister, recognizing the source of her stress — the pressure of being perfect. He understood how she felt, but before he could find the right words to comfort her, a familiar voice echoed warmly behind them.

"There you both are~!"

The twins turned towards the doorway to see Ai approaching with a gentle smile that seemed to chase away the cold atmosphere of the practice hall.

"Are you both practicing for tomorrow?" she asked as she drew closer. "This is no time to practice, you know."

"Mama…!" Ruby began, but was quickly silenced when Ai crouched down and pulled them both in a warm embrace.

"It's so cold in here," Ai whispered with an exaggerated shiver, holding them for a long moment.

Then her voice softened, "You know, Ruby, I never tried to be perfect on stage. I've made plenty of mistakes too. But if you love what you do, the audience will love it too."

Ruby melted into her mother's warm embrace, letting her words sink deep into her anxious heart.

"Do you love dancing?" Ai asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I do," Ruby whispered back.

Ai hummed softly in acknowledgement. 

"You both will do great tomorrow." she whispered.

In that shared hug, Ruby felt her restlessness begin to fade, replaced by an awareness of how cold the night had become, making her shiver against her mother's warmth.

"It's cold, isn't it?" Ai said with a gentle laugh, "Let's go back to the warm bed."

The three of them made their way back upstairs, Ai locking the practice hall behind them.

They quickly slipped back into their futons, the heavy blankets immediately wrapping them in blessed warmth.

Ruby snuggled closer to her mother, and Ai wrapped a protective arm around her. As her mother's words echoed through her mind, her soothing presence chased away the last remnants of sleeplessness.

- x -

 

In one of Tokyo's most prestigious idol agencies, the newly selected trainees were beginning their first day. The spacious practice hall buzzed with nervous energy as six young women lined up. They had been given no time to adjust, no gentle introduction to their new reality. The show waited for no one.

"Again! From the top!" the coach barked, his voice cutting through the pounding base of the practice track. "Five, Six, Seven, Eight!"

The girls moved in unison, their bodies already glistening with sweat despite having started only an hour ago. Each movement was scrutinized, each misstep noted. This was the beginning of their transformation from hopeful dreamers into polished products.

Mr. Arakawa strolled through the practice hall alongside one of his fellow colleagues. His hand clasped behind his back as he surveyed the talent he had finalized last week. His sharp eye moved from girl to girl, calculating their potential marketing value with the efficiency of a veteran executive.

"Told you we struck gold this time," he said with satisfied smugness. "I can already picture the crowds going wild for these girls. Look at that determination."

His companion, a woman with wire-rimmed glasses, nodded approvingly. "We certainly got some real beauties this time around. Some even look, dare I say — fragile. Delicate flowers, you might say." she paused, "Any bets on who cracks first?"

Arakawa studied the six trainees as they powered through another repetition of the demanding routine. Not one had slowed down despite the obvious exhaustion creeping into their movements.

"Hard to say, really. Everyone here thinks they are living their ultimate dream. They'll fight to their last breath."

"True, but someone always breaks."

"Nothing we haven't handled before," Arakawa said with a dismissive chuckle.

The conversation was interrupted when a junior staff member hurried across the dancing floor, weaving between the girls with obvious urgency.

"Mr. Arakawa!" he called out, his voice barely audible above the thundering music. "There's an urgent phone call for you, sir!"

Arakawa turned, mild irritation flickering across his face, "Who the hell is calling at this hour?"

The staff member swallowed hard, "It's… It's the police, sir. They wanted to speak with you about something important."

"Police?" Arakawa's eyebrows shot up, genuine surprise replacing his annoyance.

Without another word, the staff member handed over a cordless phone. Arakawa accepted it with growing unease and strode out of the practice hall, seeking privacy for whatever conversation awaited him.

"This is Arakawa Kyouji speaking," he said once he was alone in the corridor.

"Mr. Arakawa, this is detective Yamamoto. I need to ask you about someone named Nanako Fumi. Do you know anyone by that name?"

He took a moment to respond. "Yes… She was one of the contestants for the auditions a few weeks back. Why are you asking?"

There was a heavy pause on the other end of the line, "I'm afraid I have some very bad news. Mr. Arakawa, Miss Nanako was found dead in her apartment this morning. A neighbour called it in when they noticed the smell."

The words hit Arakawa like a physical blow. He found himself gripping the phone tighter, "What… How did she die?"

"Suicide, by all appearances. We found her diary, and your name appeared quite frequently in many entries. It looks like your relationship with her was quite… complicated. And she didn't take the rejection very well."

Arakawa remained silent for a long moment, his mind racing through the implications. Finally, he asked the question that mattered most.

"How many people know about this?"

"As of right now? Just myself and my partner. But I don't think I have to tell you how big of a problem this could have for you and your agency. The media would have a field day with this kind of story."

Arakawa sensed an opportunity in the detective's tone. "And yet you haven't contacted the press."

"The way I see it, Mr. Arakawa, this is a straightforward case of someone who couldn't handle the rejection. Tragic, certainly, but hardly uncommon in your industry. These young girls, they build up impossible dreams and when reality hits…" the detective let the last sentence hang. "It could be a simple, open and shut case. If you want it to be."

Arakawa nodded to himself, relief flooding through him despite the circumstances. "That would certainly spare everyone unnecessary trouble. Such a waste of young talent over something so… unfortunate."

"We will still need your formal statement, of course. Standard procedure. Why don't you come down to the station this afternoon? And take this diary off our hands while you're at it."

"Absolutely, detective. I'll be there within an hour."

The line went dead. Arakawa stood in the hallway for another moment, listening to the muffled sound of the music and footsteps from the practice hall.

He walked into his office and tossed the phone on the couch. He paused at the window, looking down at the bustling Tokyo streets below and let out a deep relaxing sigh. Then he grabbed his coat from the hook behind his desk before leaving.

- x -

 

The annual festival arrived with much excitement from children and parents alike. All the parents had taken their seats and the modest school hall filled with their warm chatter.

In the middle of the audience, Miyako was checking her video camera, ready to capture the precious moments. Ai had settled beside her, carefully concealed her recognizable beauty behind oversized sunglasses and a cap that cast shadow across her face — to any casual observer, she was simply another parent in the crowd.

The earlier performances had been delightful — children forgot lyrics mid-song, a boy in a school play froze when he forgot his lines and others just went on with their dialogues completely ignoring the fact. Each moment drew a gentle laughter and encouraging applause from the audience.

Next, the music shifted, and a parade of five year olds emerged in vibrant costumes that seemed to glow under the stage lights. Miyako and Ai spotted the twins immediately, they were hard to miss since they were on the front. The nervousness was apparent on many children's faces, including Ruby, but Aqua seemed more apathetic, who just wanted to get it over with.

As the melody began, Ruby felt the weight of all the eyes watching her and her first steps wavered just a little, uncertainty creeped into her movements that had been fluid until the day before. And her small hands trembled slightly as anxiety creeped over her mind.

She closed her eyes, remembering the movements she had memorized over the past month and tried hard not to miss a step. Almost too hard. Her heart hammered just like when she tried to dance for the first time.

Then, she opened her eyes, and in the sea of faces, she spotted her mother.

Even with the disguise, she could see Ai's encouraging smile, the way she held both her hands in silent support. Ruby could almost hear her mother's voice — Trust your body.

Taking a deep breath during a musical pause and steadied herself. Her feet found the rhythm, her arms moved with newfound grace, and for the next three minutes, she pictured her mother guiding her through the dance, just like she had done during every practice session.

The melody faded and the children stuck their ending poses. The school hall erupted in heartfelt applause. Ruby's face bloomed into a radiant smile as she caught sight of her mother applauding with a proud smile. The children bowed, and some waved to their parents before walking back to behind the stage.

Miyako had captured every moment and was reviewing the footage, when she leaned closer to Ai, "Like mother, Like daughter. She's really talented like you, huh?" her voice was barely above a whisper.

Ai still held that proud smile long after her kids' performance had ended, "This was all her hard work." she replied.

"She is just like you," Miyako commented warmly, rewatching her performance in the camera.

After the school festival ended, Miyako, Ai and her children made their way back home in Miyako's van. Ruby's excited chatter went on and on as she recounted every moment — not just her own performance, but her classmate's reactions, the other acts and how fun the whole day was. Aqua sat beside them on the back seat watching the streets fly by and Ai reached to ruffle his hair affectionately.

"You too were great, Aqua! I didn't know you could dance so well," Ai praised.

"Guess performing runs in this family, huh?" Miyako commented from the driver's seat, while keeping her eyes on the road.

"I have a feeling these two will grow into amazing performers," Ai said with pride in her voice.

Even after they arrived home, Ruby's enthusiasm showed no signs of dimming.

"... but I made some mistakes especially at the start, I couldn't be as good as I could have been, it was scary, having everyone watch me like that. How do you deal with that mama?"

"It's something you get used to with time," Ai replied, holding her little hand as they walked up the stairs.

"Mama! Mama! I know I can do even better. Can I show you? Please please please!!" Ruby tugged on her mothers hand before they even reached the front door to their apartment.

Miyako rubbed her stiff shoulders, "You just got back from such a busy day, how do you have so much energy? Let your mother have a breather"

Ai chuckled softly, "It's okay. It won't take long, why don't you join us too, Miyako?"

"I'm tired," Miyako began to protest, but Ruby stared at her with enormous pleading eyes that proved impossible to resist. With an exaggerated sigh of defeat, she relented, "Fine, I'll come too."

Ruby erupted with an echoing "YAY!" as she led the way back down to the second floor.

Aqua smiled to himself watching them leave. Once the sound of Ruby's excited voice faded, the apartment fell quiet. He settled down on the couch, and in a much earned moment of relaxation, he turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels, looking for something to watch. Nothing really caught his eye, until a familiar face did.

"The woman was found dead in her apartment, the neighbors discovered her body when they noticed the foul smell. Nineteen year old Nanako Fumi was an aspiring Idol and performer, It is believed that she took her own life after being rejected in the auditions ..."

The anchor's words blurred as Aqua's eyes focused on the face shown on the TV.

It was her.

The woman he had met in the park just a few weeks ago. It really was her, there was no mistaking that face.

The news report labeled it suicide, but he remembered her words — He promised. I did everything he asked.

This was no mere suicide. This was something far more sinister.

Footsteps echoing behind him announced Saitou's emergence from his room. "You guys are back, where's…." Saitou's voice died as he noticed Aqua's expression — too haunted for a five year old.

He followed Aqua's gaze to the television, it took him a while but he realized he had seen that woman before, and by Aqua's expression, he remembered her.

Without a word, Saitou took the remote from beside Aqua and turned the TV off. "You shouldn't be watching things like that," his voice carried careful concern. "Are you okay Aqua?"

"Do you think she would really take her own life over being rejected?" Aqua asked, his tone much heavier than it should be for someone his age.

Saitou didn't say anything for a moment, once again stunned by his unsettling mature demeanor. But he answered honestly, "It's rare, but it does happen."

"I don't think she would." Aqua countered quietly, "She told me that someone promised her and then rejected her. She said that she did everything he asked… Are people in the Industry really that evil?" Aqua asked.

Saitou struggled with what to say to the five year old. Aqua always came across as way more mature for his age, despite that, he wasn't sure if he should continue this conversation with him. Finally he sighed, and chose to answer him, taking a seat beside him. 

"Some are. Young Idols being exploited in the industry is more common than people realize. It happens throughout the industry."

Aqua's mind churned at his words. And his mother flashed in his mind — she was also an Idol. The biggest Idol Tokyo had ever seen. The woman who was attacked by a deranged fan just months ago. The woman whose life he still believed was in danger.

"Young Idols being exploited…" Aqua repeated to himself, "Is it possible… could mother have been…" his eyes widened with the horrible implication forming in his thoughts.

"No!" Saitou's response was immediate and firm, "God No! She'd been with us ever since she stepped into the Idol business. Why would you even think such a thing?" Saitou stopped his train of thoughts.

But Aqua had fallen silent, his eyes staring nowhere. The silence stretched and Saitou was becoming visibly concerned, and then Aqua finally broke the silence with a question he wasn't expecting.

"Who is my father?"

The simple question sent waves of discomfort in Saitou. "I don't know. Only Ai knows that."

"Why does she keep that a secret?" Aqua pressed hoping for a clue — anything.

But Saitou found himself with no answer he could offer.

Aqua looked at him, "I need to know who he is. I can't ask her, she won't tell me."

Once again, Saitou was struck by the unsettling maturity radiating from this five year old boy. "You are really mature for your age." He said finally, "She only ever mentioned having a boyfriend once. I don't know why she keeps him a secret or why they broke up, but I trust her, if there was something concerning she would have told me."

Aqua wasn't satisfied, "Don't you have any suspects? Someone she saw regularly around that time?"

"I never saw her with someone who would fit as her boyfriend, so it's hard for me to say."

Each word only deepened Aqua's dread. If Ai kept their father a secret from everyone, if no one ever had seen her with someone resembling a boyfriend, and if there were people in the industry exploiting young Idols…

Could she be a victim? Could he be a result of that?

The possibility was lodged in his mind like a malignant tumor.

"No…" he whispered in horror.

Saitou noticed the stress on his face and patted his back, "You shouldn't think too much about it, Aqua. Maybe your mother will tell you when the time is right."

"I think her life is in danger." Aqua said, his voice carrying absolute conviction. "I think it's someone powerful in the industry — someone whose life would be ruined, if Ai ever exposed him."

"You're overthinking this. Have you been watching conspiracy theories online?" Saitou sighed, "Look, Idols being stalked and attacked by fans… is not a new thing. It has happened before. Obsessed fans exist everywhere."

"But—"

"The police have investigated thoroughly. It was just a deranged stalker who found out she had kids. There's nothing to fear now — She's safe." His voice dropped to a whisper, "It was all my fault, I should have seen it coming. I was so caught up in her success that it never occurred to me that someone would react so violently to her being a mother."

Saitou looked directly at Aqua, "Don't worry kid. She's safe now. I won't let anything like that happen again."

Aqua nodded slowly. But his mind was still a mess.

"And Aqua… Thank you for saving her. No child should go through what you went through, but I can't imagine where we would be without you." Saitou said.

"I don't want to imagine either." Aqua whispered.

"But how did you know what to do?" Saitou asked.

Aqua's reply came quietly, "From youtube… I watched first aid videos because Ruby kept hurting herself," he answered.

The answer was the same as before, but it was still hard to believe that a child could learn life saving maneuvers from first aid videos. But Saitou didn't question it anymore. Aqua has long proven his capabilities as an intelligent boy far beyond his years. "You never cease to amaze me," he said finally, getting off the couch.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : I think this development of "Who the father could be?" would be far more impactful for the reader if no-one knew who the Father was.
Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed reading it.

Up Next - Chapter 8 : End of an Era

Chapter 8: End of an Era

Summary:

B-komachi had a great run. They were the best in the business, but even the greats eventually come to an end. Some on their own terms, others by circumstances beyond their control.

Ruby had just returned from school. Her school bag was forgotten on the couch back in their apartment, and she rushed into the practice hall with her mother following right behind. The late afternoon sun filtered through the windows of the practice hall, casting long shadows across the polished floor, making the place glow in its golden hue. 

The hall was much cleaner than usual now that it was being used regularly even if the equipment in there were the same old and reliable.

Ai set up the boombox and stood with her arms on her hips, "Ready?"

Ruby twirled around, humming to herself the tune of the song they had been practicing on, stopping only to nod eagerly. Her eyes shone with the kind of joy only a child could have. At five, she was truly a bundle of joy filled with enthusiasm, her movements still carrying that endearing clumsiness of someone still growing into their body.

But when the music started, Ruby found her rhythm and she began bouncing on her toes. She had grown confident in her movements over the past months. Not just confident, she enjoyed the dancing.

She had been practicing the dance routine for "Heart's kiss" with her mother and she studied her mother's old performance videos with the dedication of a scholar.

Her opening pose was picture perfect — arms extended, chin lifted, eyes closed as she waited for the first beat. When it came, she exploded into motion. Her movements were sharp, she hit her marks and her timing was great.

Ai moved beside her, her movements were sharper, and fluid when the choreography demanded it, her timing impeccable, her expression radiating the kind of natural charisma that couldn't be taught.

A few minutes in, Ruby's movements began to soften, her jumps grew smaller, her spins slower. By the time the song ended, she was breathing hard. She collapsed on the floor in an attempt to catch her breath.

Ai smiled at her daughter, clapping with her hands gently, "You were amazing!" she said and settled down beside Ruby on the floor.

"Really? But I messed up so much," Ruby panted, trying to catch her breath still, "This is… so much harder… than it looks on the video."

"You're catching up much faster than I did. I used to fall trying to catch my breath just like you." Ai said, reminiscing on how far her daughter had come.

"Really? That sounds so unlike you, mama." Ruby said, sitting up.

"I practiced a lot before I learned to not get tired so easily." Ai said, getting up on her feet and offered a hand to her daughter, "Are you ready for another round?"

"Yes!" Ruby took her hand and jumped back on her feet, ready in position.

Ai reset the song and stood beside her daughter, "From the top," she called out and the song began once again.

As the music filled the hall, mother and daughter lost themselves in the melody. They let their bodies move on their own, not focused on trying to perform flawlessly, but simply enjoying the music. When the final notes signaled the end, they held their position for a few seconds. Ruby was panting and her mother's breathing was much calmer.

"You're just as amazing as ever."

Both Ai and Ruby turned towards the voice. 

President Saitou stood in the doorway, giving them both a warm smile as he walked closer. "No discomfort from your recovery I take it?" he asked Ai.

"None at all, I'm completely healed," she said resting a gentle hand on where her wound was.

"That's wonderful news. Speaking of… I wanted to talk to you," Saitou said enthusiastically.

Ai knew what it meant, she knew he would talk about it eventually, yet she wasn't prepared to have this conversation. She glanced at her daughter without ever letting a speck of discomfort appear on her face. "Why don't you practice one more time? I'll be right back."

Ruby nodded and Ai led the way to the far end of the hall, past the windows where the evening light painted everything in gold. The music booming in the hall seemed distant, fading out just enough to let them speak normally.

"I am in discussion with Tokyo dome," Saitou began, "They're willing to reschedule, but the venue is booked for the next four months. I couldn't pick a date yet as we need to figure out our group situation first,"

Ai nodded, her smile fading just a bit.

"I've tried reaching out to Nino multiple times," Saitou continued, his voice becoming more strained, "The other girls also tried. But Nino won't respond to anyone. At this point it's safe to assume she won't be returning. We will need to make an official announcement about her departure soon."

The news about Nino wasn't surprising. Ai's brief visit to Nino made it clear to her that she was done for good.

"I need to talk to others this week to discuss where we stand. With the six of you, maybe restructure the group dynamic? The fans have been incredibly supportive. Your recovery was national news, and the dome concert could be an incredible story…"

Ai just listened, unsure of where to interject, and she did when Saitou paused to catch his breath,

"About that…" she said quietly, her smile fading, "I can't come back."

The words fell between them creating an uncomfortable silence.

"Ai, I understand what happened had left you shaken, but let's not make any hasty—"

"It's not hasty," she said, firmer now. "I've been thinking about this every single day. I can't stop thinking about what I put my children through."

"What happened was not your fault."

"Wasn't it?" she asked softly, "Ryosuke said that I lied to him. I chose to continue the lie of perfect Idol and when that lie finally caught up with me, it nearly got me killed."

Saitou's expression softened, "Ai, you can't blame yourself for the actions of one deranged stalker."

"One?" Ai questioned softly, "Ryosuke said I betrayed him. How many others out there would feel the same way when they find out about Aqua and Ruby? What if one doesn't just stop at me, but go after my children?"

The question hung in the air, with heavy implications that neither wanted to fully acknowledge. Saitou's shoulders slumped, he stayed quiet for a moment, as he understood how she felt.

"What if…" he began cautiously, "I asked you to do one final show? A farewell concert? Fulfil the dream of the Dome and then you can retire with dignity."

Part of her yearned for that. Being in the spotlight of the dome, one final chance to pour her heart out to the fans, just like she had originally wanted. But then she looked at Ruby, watched her daughter happily moving on the floor and another feeling overshadowed that yearning.

"I… I can't go on stage and lie anymore," she said quietly then turned her attention to the president, "Any performance I give now would be a lie, a lie I choose not to. The fans deserve better than that."

Saitou nodded slowly, and sighed deeply, "First Nino and now you too? I won't pressure you further but I hope you'll think about it. B-komachi wouldn't be the same without you at its center."

"The others are talented," Ai offered, "They can do great without us."

"You know that's not true." Saitou said, "Without you and Nino, there is no Dome concert. There might not even be a B-komachi at all."

Ai understood exactly what he meant, Idol in a group were rarely ever equal. Fans formed attachments to specific members. Lose the wrong members, and the entire structure collapses.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her words carrying guilt.

"Don't apologize," Saiotu said quickly, "It's not your fault." he nodded and turned to look at Ruby who just moved on the floor without a care in the world. 

"I understand." Saitou's voice was warm, but laced with quiet disappointment. Quickly, the sadness eased from his expression, "Why don't you call the others? We can talk about this."

- x -

 

It wasn't long after returning from the school when Ruby and Ai stepped into the practice hall. President Saitou was busy with his work, Miyako was out running errands. Leaving Aqua by himself in the apartment with the perfect opportunity to go through her mother's smartphone.

Ai had given him the password months ago, "It's your and Ruby's birthday," she had said, "easy to remember right?" She imagined he would do nothing more than just play angry birds or puzzle games — fit for his intellect.

He punched in the code — 170608 and the smartphone sprung to life. All the colorful apps and games on screen, but he was interested in none of them.

The questions that plagued him were far more urgent. How did Ryosuke know their home address they had just moved into? How did he know the location of the hospital Ai was staying in? It couldn't have been a coincidence. Someone must have given it to him. 

And his prime suspect? 

His own father who he knows nothing about, who his mother never talks about.

He opened the contact list, his thumb scrolling through the surprisingly small collection of names. There was President Saiotu's contact — office and personal. Miyako's contact. All the girls of B-komachi were there with a cheerful emoji accompanying each one.

Then came all the professional contacts that had been the backbone for her career. The current choreographer who had replaced the previous one three years ago, the vocal coach and music producer who had been with strawberry productions since the very beginning. Video director for all her music videos and promotional materials. A children's doctors and other emergency contacts and their school.

Strawberry productions had seen a few coaches and choreographers come and go over the years. But none of the contacts hinted at anything beyond professional relationships.

More troubling was the complete absence of anyone who could have been a part of Ai's life before 2008 — before Aqua's birth. Ever since, he and his sister had been the center of her world and her contact list read like a professional directory with no connections outside of work and family.

He tapped along to check on her messages and call history, perhaps there were any conversations from which he could get any hint. But her phone again turned up with disappointment.

Scrolling through the past year of call logs and message history, keeping a keen eye for anything out of the ordinary, nothing really caught his eye, not even an unsaved phone number she would contact regularly.

While his disappointing deep search had concluded there were no clues on this phone, the door opened with a sound that sent a jolt through his small body. His fingers moved quickly, closing the messaging app and opening angry birds in one swift motion. The game's cheerful music filled the room, replacing the tense silence that had accompanied his investigation.

"Are you playing games again, Aqua?" Ai's voice asked as she walked in behind him.

He turned towards her, acting innocent as if he had been slinging birds all alone. "Mhmm," he confirmed, pulling back the red bird on the virtual slingshot with deliberate focus.

Ai moved closer and crouched next to him, watching him as his eyes remained fixed on the screen with the kind of intense concentration that seemed comical. And then he scored, three stars.

"You're really good at this," Ai cheered with gentle claps, "But I need my phone back, can I have it?" she asked, extending her hand.

He placed the phone in her hand slowly and Ai accepted it with a grateful smile, then ruffled his hair playfully before turning to leave.

Once her footsteps faded away, Aqua allowed himself to fall back on the floor with a gentle thud. He stared up at the ceiling and whispered to himself, "Nothing…" The word carried immense disappointment.

The phone search had been a dead end, offering no clues about their father's identity or current whereabouts. If anything, the complete absence of personal relationships in Ai's phone only deepened the mystery.

Perhaps the lack of contact wasn't evidence of abandonment or rejection, perhaps their father had never been someone she wanted to save in her phone in the first place. Perhaps their relationship had been brief, or transactional, or… entirely unwanted.

The thought that Ai might have been taken advantage of by someone in the industry had haunted him ever since he got a glimpse of the reality behind the scenes. Young women, vulnerable to exploitation by producers, directors and other industry figures who could offer career advancement in exchange for personal favors.

The thought that his own existence might be the result of such an encounter filled him with a mixture of rage and helpless guilt.

He rolled to his side. 

Ai had an older smartphone, one that Ai used before upgrading to a newer model. It currently sat in her drawer, its battery long dead. But would that phone contain any relevant information?

Ruby had gotten her hands on it countless times before, so had he, if there was a hint of anything unusual, one of them would have noticed over the past years.

In the same drawer sat another device, much older but Ai kept it alive and would occasionally use it. He had only seen her use it three of four times over the past year. Why maintain a second, older phone? Perhaps all the answers to his questions lay there. 

That has to be it.

Gaining access to the flip phone would require careful planning and significant risk. Unlike the smartphone, the flip phone was clearly private. If she caught him trying to sneak it, there would be no way to explain his actions as innocent childhood curiosity.

He would need to be vigilant, and observe her carefully, waiting for an opportunity when she would use the device, and try to catch a glimpse of whatever its password might be. It might take months, if not years, before the right opportunity presents itself. The frustration began to creep in his body, but he couldn't be hasty. 

Too many questions remained unanswered. If his father was somehow connected to the attacks, if he was the one who leaked their home address and the hospital's address.

Aqua needed to know.

Even if the truth turned out to be more painful than the uncertainty.

- x -

 

Ai had called each member of her group individually, her voice carefully controlled as she asked them to come to the studio as soon as they could. "It's urgent," she had said, offering no details, knowing that some conversations could only happen face to face.

Nino's phone had gone straight to voicemail. It was expected but the silence still stung. Whatever demons she was battling inside, they had consumed her completely.

Now six young women sat in a loose circle on the polished floor where they had danced in perfect synchronisation countless times. Their casual clothing and makeup free faces made them look more vulnerable than the polished performers their fans knew and loved.

President Saitou sat slightly apart, his sunglasses unable to hide the tension in his expression or the way his hands fidgeted with his phone.

"This is difficult," He sighed, the words carrying the weight of years of planning and shattered dreams. The other's waited patiently, though the anxiety of the room was palpable. His eyes turned to Ai, then they swept across the faces of girls who he had shared the dream with for nine years.

"I… It's a…" he paused, struggling to find the words that felt adequate enough for the magnitude of what he was about to announce. 

"How do I begin?" Another pause, longer this time as he stared at some invisible point beyond them all.

"There will be no Dome concert."

The gasps came simultaneously from everyone except Ai, whose guilt ridden silence spoke louder than any words could have.

"What?!" Meimei's voice cracked with disbelief.

"Why?" Watanabe leaned forward, her usual composed demeanor cracking.

Saiotu's next words felt like they were being torn from his chest, "Ai had chosen to retire."

All eyes turned to the girl who had been the front and center of their group for years, the girl who had been the beating heart of B-komachi since its inception.

Ai's lips slightly parted and closed equally as quickly, then her gaze fell on her hands, folded tightly on her lap wishing she could escape the weight of the stares.

It was Ari who finally broke the silence, her voice gentle but firm. "It's okay Ai, we understand."

Saitou nodded, grateful for her grace in this impossible moment. "And as you all already know, Nino is gone too." His voice grew quieter, more strained, "B-komachi can't continue without its core members."

He didn't need to say anything anymore. They all understood the dynamics of Idol groups. How the fan loyalty was distributed unevenly among its members. Without Ai's charisma and Nino's voice, the group would be a shadow of its former self with no genuine star power.

"So… this is it?" Takamine's question hung in the air like a prayer hoping for a different answer.

"This is it." Saitou confirmed softly.

Nine years of building, dreaming and climbing towards greater heights. And it was ending not with triumph at the dome, but with a quiet conversation in an empty practice room.

The disappointment was written across every face, even though no one spoke aloud. These were professional women who understood the idol industry's harsh realities, but understanding didn't make the loss any easier to bear.

"Well, it was gonna happen one day or another," Meimei said, forcing a brightness in her voice that didn't quite mask the sadness underneath. "All groups eventually…"

"We had a good run," Takanmine added, her voice carrying the weight of greatness untouched.

"We had a great run," Watanabe corrected, her passion breaking through despite the circumstances. "We are the biggest idol group in Japan. Ai is the greatest idol ever…"

"Nine years…" Ari said softly, "No Idol group keeps growing for that long. Most don't even make it past three."

The statistics were meant to be comforting, a reminder of their extraordinary success, but they felt hollow in the face of what they were losing.

"I'm so sorry," Ai whispered, her voice barely audible. The guilt that had been eating at her for months finally found its voice. "I'm so, so sorry."

Ari stood up immediately, moving to kneel beside Ai. "It's okay," she said firmly, pulling Ai into a gentle hug. "You almost died. We understand that you can't continue."

The embrace seemed to break something in the room. One by one, the other's joined them, creating a circle of arms and shared memories, holding each other as they held onto the last moments of being B-komachi together.

"It was great sharing a stage with you," Ari said quietly into Ai's shoulder.

"Yeah," Takamine said, "It was great working with you all."

Saitou watched from his position slightly outside of their circle, his sunglasses mercifully hiding the tear that had escaped despite his best efforts.

This was the death of his dream he had been building for a decade — the vision of his girls performing at the dome, reaching the absolute pinnacle of the idol world.

His girls had been magnificent. 

Every single one of them had given everything they had to this dream, and it was ending before they reached the dome.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : It's a chapter slightly above 3k words. I'm open to feedback, if you guys prefer longer chapters or 3k words is good enough?
Do leave a comment on what you thought about this chapter! Always love reading reader's comments and speculations.

Up next - Chapter 9 : Fans

Chapter 9: Fans

Summary:

How would the fans react to the news?

Saitou's small office at strawberry productions had never felt smaller. He sat behind his simple table, accompanied by a single glass of water as he faced a room full of entertainment reporters and bloggers.

He had rehearsed this moment countless times before in his empty office, but now that they all were here, the words seem to stuck in his throat.

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice." he began, keeping his voice calm, yet loud enough to echo in the room "I have an important announcement regarding our idol group B-komachi."

The room fell silent, the reporters ready with their pens on their notepads, some with cameras, others with their phones. Every face turned towards him with the attention of professionals hungry for a major story.

"After nine years of incredible success and countless memorable performances," Saitou said with his voice carefully controlled, "B-komachi will be officially disbanding."

The reporters didn't let him speak another word and began bombarding him with questions.

"B-komachi is disbanding? Why?"

"Is it because of the attack on Ai?"

"Do B-komachi's members have anything planned? Will there be a career change for them?"

"What about the dome concert? Were there no plans for it?"

Saitou raised his hand trying to seek an opportunity to speak, "The decision follows Ai's announcement that she will be retiring from the entertainment industry, effective immediately. Recent events have shaken all the group members and not just Ai."

His explanation only fueled the fire. The chatter drowned out all the camera's clicking and the questions themselves. He waited a moment for the room to calm down, and for him to gather his thoughts.

"As you all know," he finally said when the room was quiet enough for his voice to reach the back, "Ai was the victim of a serious assault several months ago. While she has made a full recovery, the emotional trauma of that experience has led her to re-evaluate her career and make the difficult decision to step away."

"Mr. Saitou!" A reporter at the front stood up, "There have been persistent rumors about Ai having children. Can you confirm whether these rumors are related to the assault?"

"Yes. The investigation has confirmed that the attacker's motive to harm Ai was because of the rumors surrounding her. He acted believing the rumors to be true." Saitou replied.

"Can you confirm if the rumors are true?" the reporter asked.

"Not even remotely so." Saitou announced with confidence, "Aqua and Ruby are my and my wife's kids. Ai had known them since they were born and she looks after them every once in a while when we are too busy to attend to our kids."

"But there is the case of her being away from the public eye during her year-long hiatus, that was five years ago. The kids are also five." A reporter from the front corner said with a smirk.

"That is a coincidence." Saitou's voice didn't waver, "Her being on hiatus for a private health issue around the same time me and my wife had kids, then later being spotted with my kids out in the public, you can see how the rumor could sound pretty convincing. Sadly, that was the reason it almost cost Ai her life."

"We are glad she has recovered, but what about her future? What about the other members?" The reporter sitting in front asked.

"Ai will be on hiatus until further notice. The other members are all talented individuals who would be pursuing their own paths. Some may continue in entertainment, others may choose different careers. That will be up to them to announce when they are ready."

"Mr. Saitou," another reporter called from the middle, "This seems very sudden, up until yesterday we were all waiting for B-komachi's return. If the assault on Ai is the reason for the group's disbandment, why wait this long to announce it?"

"I had been in long discussions with the group and its future. It took us time to figure things out." Saitou paused momentarily, "I humbly apologise to all the fans who were waiting to see Ai at the dome. I was too, but her safety and well being are more important than any concert. And I fully support her decision to retire."

The questioning continued for another twenty minutes, each one probing for cracks, looking for hidden scandals or deeper truths. Saitou fielded them all with a professional demeanour of someone who had protected Ai for years.

When Saitou finally escaped the conference, he felt like he had aged a decade in a single hour. There was skepticism even when the conference ended. Naturally, in an industry built on manufactured personalities and carefully curated images, the reporters always believe there's more to everything that celebrities let on. But even if they get the truth, it would often be the first casualty, all for an article that would turn heads and get clicks.

He knew this wasn't over just yet and the reporters would still try to get any information about Ai. Not to mention the storm that would rise when the news reaches public years. Ai's retirement and the circumstances surrounding it were just too big to ignore.

- x -

 

Within five minutes of the press conference ending, forums crashed  under the weight of thousands of simultaneous fans, social media exploded with reactions and notification sounds echoed from phones across Tokyo.

A twenty three year old guy was just processing what he just saw, he was expecting them to announce the date for the dome concert, never in a million years could he have imagined their disbandment news would come today — at the peak of their career.

 Scrolling through social media, he too joined in the conversation as his fingers flew across his phone's keyboard, 

"I literally grew up with B-komachi. Nine years of my life, gone. I was supposed to graduate college and celebrate at their dome concert. Now what?"

He tapped post, and his message was quickly lost in the sea of messages flooding before he could read them. There were many disappointed like him, many were angry, many were speculating on what was really happening. The fanbase was at a complete meltdown.

RealityCheck : Everyone's acting like this is some tragedy when it's just business. Groups disband all the time. At least they're going out on top instead of limping along with declining sales.

What was he talking about? Of course this is a tragedy. This isn't just "some group" disbanding, this is B-komachi, the biggest group that defined a generation. How could someone be so coldly pragmatic about something that meant everything to so many people?

CreativeSoul33 : Still not buying the whole "retiring because of one attack." You don't walk away from millions because of one psycho. There's definitely more going on here.

SupportiveFan : Maybe millions isn't worth dying for? Just a thought.

CreativeSoul33 : She didn't die though, and many idols have dealt with psycho fans and kept going.

How could people be so insensitive? The girl was nearly murdered and they are treating it as some calculated business move? He scrolled faster, trying to find a voice of reason among the chaos.

ConspiracyWatch : Okay, I have been watching the press conference over and over again. The way Saitou talks about "his" children, just doesn't add up. He is not telling the whole truth, like why were his kids with her when she was attacked?

MomOf3 : As someone who actually has kids, I can tell you that Ai looks exactly like a mother in those photos. The way she holds them and how protective she looks. Those are definitely her children.

TokyoGossip : My cousin works at the hospital where she was treated. Says there were these children who were by her side the entire time. The staff were being super secretive about it. Make your own conclusions.

These conspiracy nuts never shut up, the kids are like what? five? six? No way Ai could give birth that young and not have it affect her body. The timeline doesn't even make sense if people bothered to think about it logically. How stupid are these people?

AiDefender : Can we please stop the speculation? Whether she has kids or not, she nearly DIED. She has every right to step away from public life. Stop treating her like she owes us her entire existence.

Mirror369 : She doesn't owe us her life, but she owes us that concert. I was waiting for it for months and so many of us had already bought a ticket!!

AiDefender : That was refunded months ago. What are you talking about?

This was exactly the toxic fan mentality that led to the attack in the first place. He found himself typing angrily,

"This is all that psycho's fault, going around trying to kill Ai over a stupid rumor. Fuckin dumbass. And you idiots are still obsessing over her personal life?"

IdolFan : Maybe her retirement is a good thing? Like, I love Ai but the whole Idols can't date or have families thing is toxic. It needs to change.

InsiderKnowledge : I work in the industry. Can confirm this decision came from strawberry productions. Word is the kids are hers and Ai had been planning to retire anyway. This just gave her a perfect excuse.

Excuse? What?! That can't be right. No way this guy works for Ai's agency. This is just too cynical, how could one even think like this?

CoffeeCup : For everyone who is sharing her photos and still discussing the stupid rumor, YOU guys are the reason for why Ai was attacked and you guys are still on about whether the kids are hers. You disgust me.

FireySoul : These "fans" are the ones contributing to the toxic stalker culture that put her life in danger. Maybe respect her privacy for once?

CrazedGuy : Idol's shouldn't have privacy. That's what they signed up for.

FireySoul : Shut up, you're probably a creepy stalker yourself.

He nodded at the comment, the guy was probably a creep. The sense of ownership some fans felt over their idols is truly disturbing.

EternalAiFan : I don't care if those kids are hers and she has a secret boyfriend or a husband. She gave us nine years of incredible music. That's good enough.

SkepticalWatch : The other members of B-komachi haven't posted anything on social media after the announcement? Usually they'd be all over twitter with emotional goodbyes. The silence is deafening.

- x -

 

News travelled fast in the digital age, and within hours of the press conference, word had reached every corner of the internet. Ruby learned about it by scrolling the entertainment news on her mother's smartphone, sitting cross legged on the living room floor.

"What?!" her shriek pierced the quiet evening, "B-komachi is disbanding?!"

Aqua propped himself up on the couch he was lying lazily on, watching his sister frantically scroll through article after article, tweet after tweet.

"Mama didn't tell me anything about this!" she whirled her face around to her brother, "Did she mention anything about retiring?"

The news caught Aqua off guard too, though his expression suggested he wasn't entirely shocked, or that he opposed the idea like his sister. "No," he said, "... but maybe it's for the best."

"How can you even say that?!" Ruby's voice rose.

"You know what that psycho fan did, don't you?" Aqua's tone was measured, serious yet calm. "He figured out Ai was our mother and that almost cost Ai her life."

Ruby's shoulders sagged, the fight draining in her voice, "But… What about her career? The dome concert? It was mama's dream."

"No dream is worth her life, Ruby."

The words settled between them, and Ruby knew he was right. But knowing she would never see her mother on stage again, never see her radiant smile under the spotlight, brought her pain that she couldn't explain.

She didn't argue. She slowly turned her head back down to the phone screen, scrolling through more comments and online discussions. The people were divided.

Harsh voices calling Ai a fake, insisting she must have a secret boyfriend like many idols do, and the guy who stabbed her must have figured it out. Many among them were debating whether the rumors are true, the children she is seen with are actually her kids and the agency is just trying to cover it up.

Others defended Ai fiercely, arguing that Ai is too young to have children that old. That she had survived a brutal and traumatic experience because of these nonsensical rumors, and she has every right to choose safety and retirement over risking her life for entertainment.

"Brother…" Ruby's voice was barely above a whisper, "Is it our fault?"

Aqua's attention snapped to his sister, who remained hunched over the phone, refusing to meet his gaze.

"It's all because mama had us…" Her voice was fragile, "That man attacked her because of us… She won't get to fulfil her dream… because of us."

"Ruby. It's not our fault." Aqua jumped off the couch to move closer to his sister with careful steps, "It's just how the industry is."

"But if we were never born, she wouldn't have been attacked. She wouldn't be retiring now." Her voice carried guilt, and self-recrimination.

"She doesn't deserve what happened to her for…" he paused momentarily looking at his sister, hesitating before finishing, "... choosing to be a mother."

He knelt beside Ruby, "She loves us, Ruby. She loves you more than anything."

Ruby nodded, putting the phone down. She stood up slowly and walked over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Aqua called after her.

"To mama," she said, her hand twisting the door knob.

As she descended down the stairs, she found the door to the practice hall slightly open. Beyond it she could hear the familiar voices of B-komachi's members. All conversation ceased when Ruby pushed the door open and six pairs of eyes sitting in a loose circle, turned to her.

"It's the little girl!" Ari chirped in her bright voice, though her voice faded when she noticed Ruby's expression. "Is.. something wrong, Ruby?"

Ruby didn't say a word. She quietly crossed the distance between her and the group and threw herself into Ai's arms, burying her face against her belly and wrapping her little arms around her.

The other members exchanged concerned glances as Ai instinctively wrapped her arms around Ruby, pulling her onto her lap with ease.

"What's wrong, Ruby?" Ai asked softly, "Are you okay?"

"No," Ruby muttered into Ai's shirt, then lifted her head to see her, "I heard you were retiring."

The atmosphere grew heavy. Each member carried their own grief about the group's dissolution, but Ai managed to smile like she always does.

"I'm getting too old to keep being an Idol, you know," she said with a light laugh.

"No, you're not!" Ruby's protest was fierce and immediate, "You're the best Idol in the whole world!"

"Hey, what about the rest of us?" Meimei interjected with a mocking tone, trying to lighten the mood.

Ruby didn't respond to the joke, too wrapped up in her own distress. Ai chuckled softly at Meimei's attempt at humor before adjusting Ruby's position in her lap, turning her around to face the entire group.

"We have been the greatest idol group for nine amazing years," Ai said, addressing both Ruby and her group members. "Now it's time for young performers to have their chance to shine," She lifted Ruby slightly, supporting her under the arms with steady hands, "Young performers like you!" she smiled.

She tilted her head to face her group members, "Did you guys know Ruby's a performer too? She knows all the B-komachi songs and she is amazing at dancing!"

"Really? How do you know that?" Watanabe asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Because I taught her myself!" Ai declared with unmistakable pride in her voice.

The other members giggled at Ai's obvious affection for the child, bringing a moment of warmth to their somber gathering.

"You know, Ai," Ari said with a grin, "I'm starting to think all those rumors about her being your daughter might actually be true."

All the girls laughed, but Ai's laugh caught in her throat, quickly turning from natural to nervous in an instant. She brought Ruby closer to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Ah.. what can I say? We just have a really special bond, don't we Ruby?"

- x -

Notes:

Author's Note : Thank you for the feedback, always love reading the reviews and comments.

Up next - Chapter 10 : Talent doesn't last

Chapter 10: Talent doesn't last

Summary:

Being talented doesn't mean Kana can skip practice.

The studio lights lit up half of the living room which was carefully curated into looking like a warm home. With a cream colored couch in the middle, a small table with a fruit basket, and paintings on the wall, the house that had been empty for months was transformed into something lived in, at least part of it was.

Miss Kaminari sat at the center of the couch, her face was a canvas for the makeup artist as he dabbed concealer beneath her eyes with quick and efficient strokes.

Across her, among the crew members surrounded by filming equipment, the director checked with the camera man, preparing for the scene to be shot.

Arima Kana stood just beyond the camera's frame, her small hands clenched at her sides as she watched the final preparations unfold before her.

"Ready?" The director's voice cut through the ambience and everyone took their final spots.

Kana drew her shuddering breath, then another. She closed her eyes and summoned her familiar sad, desperate feeling she could conjure on command. Her closed eyes began brimming with tears.

"And Action!"

Miss Kaminari's fingers found the TV remote on the couch beside her, with rehearsed casualness, she clicked through the invisible channels as she gazed into the empty space where a TV should be. Her movements were fluid, and the silence lasted exactly three beats.

Then Kana exploded into the frame.

"Mama!!" The word tore through her throat, tears flew down her cheeks. She stumbled towards Miss Kaminari with such raw expression that if it weren't for the cameras everyone would have been concerned about this child.

Miss Kaminari's composure shattered, her maternal instincts overriding the script as she turned towards the crying child, "What's wrong?" 

"He… hit… me!"Kana's voice cracked with the perfect pitch of a wounded child, each word being delivered between gasping breaths.

"What? Who hit you?" she asked and while she seemed concerned, there was a hint of exhaustion in her voice.

"That kid in the playground. He said I had a weird face!" Kana cried, her gestures calculated, yet seemingly spontaneous.

Miss Kaminari's shoulders sagged, "I just got back from work." She sighed and pushed herself off the couch. Exhaustion evident in her every motion, "Come on, lets go talk to him and his parents."

"And cut!" The director called, "That's a wrap. Excellent work Miss Kaminari. Great job Arima."

Kana wiped her cheeks clean, her face slipping effortlessly back to calm, as if the crying had never happened. She spotted her mother standing beside the director and walked towards her, her earlier despair replaced by the simple joy of a child seeking praise.

The director's gaze followed her, "Already a pro, isn't she?"

Kana stood beside her mother with a proud smile, basking in the praise while her mother stroked her hair, "She is very talented."

The words fell on Kana's ears like music, and she beamed up at her mother and the director as they praised her more. She loved these moments more than anything else.

Work for the day was done and it was time to go home. As the crew dismantled the lights and cables, the set's warmth faded and they stepped into the hallway, where the walls were bare and the floor was cold.

During the ride home, the familiar roads of Tokyo passed in a blur. Kana swung her legs on the seat, and her mother tried her best to focus on the road amidst Kana's excited chatter.

"Did you see the way Miss Kaminari looked at me when I was crying? It was like she really believed I was crying for real!"

Her mother nodded at appropriate intervals, but her responses came a second too late, her mind clearly elsewhere. At the red light, Kana kept on blabbering about her scenes they shot today but she didn't respond save for a hum every now and then. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel and her gaze lingered on the road ahead.

They weren't going home, at least not yet and the car stopped near a familiar office building, its glass exteriors reflecting the late afternoon sun like a mirror.

Inside, the waiting room was empty, the walls were a boring beige and there never was anything good to read. Kana's mother asked her to wait on a chair in the waiting room and she walked inside the office with a single knock.

"Miss Arima," the agent had a surprised look on his face when he spotted her walking in. "You didn't say you'd be visiting. Please have a seat, would you like something to drink?"

She humbly declined the offer with one gesture and pulled the chair for herself, "Kana's schedule had been very free lately," she said with masked concern in her voice. "Please tell me you found some good work for her."

The agent knew that too well, "I would love to tell you that, but you refuse most of the offers saying it's not up to her caliber."

She waved a dismissive hand, "I'm not having my daughter work in some no-name shows or stupid commercials." she said swiftly, "She outgrew them long ago. She is ready for something big."

The agent nodded as she emphasized the words "something big" then he reiterated trying to reason, "But commercials do pay well."

"Kana is a great actress who has worked in movies." The pride in her voice was fierce.

"Small budget ones." he reminded her gently, trying not to feed into her frustration.

"That doesn't matter!" she slammed her hands on the table between them.

The agent sighed and took a moment to let her calm down before proceeding, "Look, there's just no demand for her. Not many projects require a crying child."

"She is much more than that!" The words came out sharper than she intended, "That's just one of her talents. She is capable of much more."

"I know that, and, you know that. But there are so many professionally trained kids her age out there now. She was exceptional when she was five. Gifted. But such gifts don't last."

"But those kids are just starting out, Kana has been a professional since she was three. She should be an easy pick. People know her—"

He cut her off, "As the crying kid." The brutal honesty hung between them for a moment. Kana's mother knew what she was known for, and it frustrated her to no end. She eased off in the chair and her expression softened. Then the agent added, "Kana is great. But no one's asking for a kid who cries on cue anymore."

Kana's mother leaned forward, desperation creeping into her voice now, "Come on, there must be something you can do."

He thought for a moment, flipped through some papers on his desk as if trying to find something, "There is still that ice cream commercial. They're still looking for a little actor."

"I'm not letting Kana appear in a commercial. That would lower her value as an actress." The refusal was non-negotiable.

He nodded with a thoughtful smirk, "I would respectfully disagree, but it's still up to you. Her schedule's wide open but you won't accept smaller roles or other work."

"She has been in TV dramas and movies in important roles and substantial screentime. If she starts appearing in small roles too often, it will seem like she's fading into obscurity." She said, and shook her head gently, "I can't let that happen."

The agent rubbed his temples, "Well, small roles and commercials are all I have right now. Most people in the industry are quick to pass on her because of her established image."

"Then pitch her as an excellent actress! Make them look past her earlier performances. Show them the scenes where Kana's acting was phenomenal without the crying. You are a great agent, you should be able to find her something good."

"I have been trying that approach. It's just that she has reached an age where competition is just too fierce. You know how cutthroat this industry is, people falling off of popularity isn't something new, especially for young actresses like Miss Kana." he paused and sighed inaudibly,  "I'll reach out as soon as anything suitable comes up."

The resignation in his voice was unmistakable, and she recognized the conversation's end. "All right, thank you." she said quietly before getting up from the chair.

She emerged from the office anxiously fixing her hair, and Kana put down the magazine she was pretending to read and jumped off her seat to jog up to her, "What did he say?" Kana asked, clearly asking about their next big project.

Her mother took a breather before answering her, "He said, you've been working too hard and you deserve a break." She took her daughter's hand and proceeded to walk out of the office building, "Would you like a pastry or ice cream on the way home?"

"Yes!!" Kana's face lit up as she bounced ahead, pulling her mother.

- x -

 

Until yesterday, Kana's schedule was packed with rehearsals, practice runs, actual filming or just memorizing her lines. She never had a day without something to do that wasn't about her career.

School had become nothing more than a backdrop, she only visited on the days she could, because her mother told her she had to, despite her trying to reason that she didn't need school and she should just drop out.

It wasn't a place she was very fond of. Even in class she would wonder about how she would play out her next shoot, rather than pay any real attention to the lectures. What need does a successful actress have for these numbers and literature? It was surprising she wasn't failing her classes, or not really — she was Arima Kana after all, the true genius.

But today was different.

For the first time in forever, she had nothing to look forward to. The next shoot that was planned was in three weeks and it was a small appearance in a TV show, for one episode. From what she knew, there wasn't much dialogue for her and she wouldn't get the script for it until two weeks later.

She found herself actually listening to their teacher, and her pencil moved on the notebook alongside her classmates as they all took notes.

The bell rang, announcing the lunch break and the classroom erupted into its usual chaos of scraping chairs and excited chatter the moment their teacher left the room.

Some students formed small groups in the classroom, sharing their lunch among themselves, others left for the playground to run around and play.

Kana remained at her desk, carefully opening her bento that her mother had prepared that morning. She ate in silence watching the conversations of the other groups unfold. The very classmates that used to flood her talking about her appearance in their favorite TV shows were now discussing the shows she was no longer a part of.

There was a time when they used to ask her about behind the scenes gossip, questions about her acting and the various actors she had worked with and even ask if she could get autographs of their favorite actors and actresses.

That was before her transition to adult drama's, before the roles that required emotional complexity her classmates couldn't yet understand, or care to watch. Her stardom had faded in their eyes, dimming from brilliant celebrity to merely "the girl they used to watch on TV."

After finishing her lunch, Kana decided to venture beyond the classroom's familiar atmosphere. The school corridors stretched before her, filled with comfortable chaos of students enjoying their brief freedom. She was on her way out to the playground when a girl approaching stopped her.

"You are actually in school today?" she asked, catching her breath.

It was a girl from one of the upper grades, Kana could tell that much because she was taller than everyone in her class, but that's all she knew about her.

"I am," she replied, a little nervously with a polite smile. Recognition wasn't new to her, though it had become increasingly rare within the walls of her school.

"You sure it's her?" Another girl appeared behind the first, presumably the first one's friend, slightly breathless from jogging to catch up.

"Yeah," the first girl said with confidence, then turned to Kana, "You're Arima Kana, right?" she asked, though her energy suggested she already knew the answer.

Kana nodded, "Yeah… that's me!"

Her friend examined Kana from top to bottom as if she didn't believe it was really her. "She looks… so normal." she announced, as if it was disappointing how she looked.

The comment hit Kana like a physical blow, though she tried to not let it show.

Normal?

The word hung between them in awkward silence for a moment, before the girl continued, "Your crying isn't real, is it? I heard they used water or some gel to make it look like you're crying on TV."

"No, it's real." Kana said, a little defensive.

The first girl turned to her friend with a satisfied expression of someone who just won an argument, "See! I told you it was real. She is talented and can cry whenever she wants to."

Her friend's face turned skeptical, her eyes narrowing, glaring at Kana, "I don't believe it," she declared. "If you can really do it, then cry. Right now."

"What?" Kana felt her anxiety creeping up, unsure how to answer her.

"If you can really cry whenever you want, then cry right now," the girl repeated, crossing her arms, suggesting she was prepared to wait as long as necessary for the proof."

"I… I don't want to." Kana said, just loud enough for them to hear.

"Ha! I told you it was all tricks!" the skeptical girl announced proudly.

The first girl's excitement turned into disappointment shortly after Kana refused to cry. 

They walked away, still arguing out what's real and what's not in movies. And for a brief moment, Kana stood there frozen, part of her wanting to call them back to prove them wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to perform on command for their amusement.

So she let them go and her steps carried her outside.

The outdoor playground was filled with joyful chaos of all the children at play. The sun was warm on her skin, and the change in atmosphere almost made her forget the encounter she had minutes ago. A cluster of girls sat under a tree laughing and gossiping. Boys kicked a soccer ball on the other side of the playground. In the middle she spotted a few of her classmates and she stepped closer to them as they ran around in a game of tag.

'They'll call me.' She thought to herself, they had called her to play with them before. She always denied their invitation because she had more important things to do. But she was here now, ready to run around and play tag with her classmates.

So, she waited.

She stood still, letting the breeze ruffle her skirt, her eyes scanning every passing face. One of two kids did look her way, but they turned back to their games without a word.

And no one called her to join in.

Her confidence shrank, folding in on itself. With heavy steps, she turned back and walked back toward her classroom. Break would be over soon anyway.

Back in the classroom, she sat back down on her seat in the empty feeling classroom. The gossip at the distant seats never quite reached her. Her seat felt colder than before. Her cheek rested on her hand as she stared at the clock, waiting for the school to end.

- x -

 

Kana's mother had high hopes for getting a big role offer for her daughter soon, but another week passed by without any word from the agency. She sat on the couch watching the sunlight filter through the window, her mind occupied by the last conversation she had with the agent. 

Kana's career trajectory haunted her thoughts. The meteoric rise when her daughter was barely old enough to tie her own shoes, followed by the slow and gradual plateau. Most child actors reached this crossroads, she knew that. Only a few ever managed to stay relevant into their teen years, much less their adult years.

She had been so certain that Kana was one of those rare exceptions. Her daughter's natural talent for acting and her ability to shed tears, combined with the recognition she had earned early in her career should have been enough to sustain her career. People in the industry knew who she was and how great she was, surely, she was destined for greatness.

But she wasn't sure anymore. Something was lacking, was it her image? Was it her acting skills? Four years of relying on Kana's instinctive abilities had left them both comfortable. While other actors her age were honing their craft in classes and workshops, Kana had been coasting on raw talent alone.

That realization struck her.

Kana had the potential to be the greatest actress of her generation. She just needed guidance, and real training.

"Kana! Come here!" She called with urgency in her voice.

Her daughter arrived with her feet thudding playfully along the floor, "What is it mama? Did the agency call?" she asked with a bright face and hopeful voice.

"Not yet," Her mother's voice was measured, though she caught the disappointment flicker across Kana's face. "But that doesn't mean you should be slacking off. Go fetch the script from your last movie."

Kana's expression shifted to mild confusion, but she obediently disappeared and returned with the slim stack of papers barely bound with thread — just the scenes she was a part of, a reminder of how small her roles had been for the past couple of months.

She took the sheets from Kana and flipped them, her eyes scanning the highlighted sections. "Do you remember the last scene you acted in?"

"I just did that one last week," Kana nodded, her hands finding her hips in a pose of confidence, "Of course I remember it."

Her mother nodded, "You are exceptionally good at playing the crying parts."

The complement should have been warming, but something about her mother's expression told her it wasn't really a compliment. Kana's shoulder sagged almost imperceptibly and she said in protest, "I'm good at other scenes too."

Her mother read the script without looking at her, "Then show me." she said sharply, then turned the script towards her, "Here's the mother's part, I want you to play the role of the tired mother. Show me exactly how good you are at acting."

Kana accepted the pages with both hands, her eyes never leaving her mother as if she were receiving sacred text. Then, with little hesitation, her eyes scanned through the unhighlighted lines. Her lips moved as she read, trying to keep the dialogues in her mind.

Her mother gave her time, waiting patiently for Kana to be ready. And when she was, she put the script aside on the couch.

"I'm ready!" she announced and took a few steps back.

Her mother allowed a moment of silence to settle between them, letting the tension build. Then,

"Action!"

Kana stepped forward, walking in a way to resemble someone running on fumes. "What's wrong?" she said, trying to make her voice sound tired.

"A child hit me," her mother delivered the line with deliberate flatness, testing her daughter's ability to respond authentically to unexpected line readings.

"What? Who hit you?" Kana's voice rose sharply, crackling with sudden fury.

"In the playground, Yamada hit me," her mother continued in the same neutral tone.

Kana sighed again, this time reaching up to her shoulder, a practiced gesture of someone who was exhausted. "I… just got back from work.." the frustration in her voice was evident but not believable. "Fine… Let's go talk to him and his parents."

Her mother looked at her extending her hand as the script indicated, then came her assessment, "You did decently. But you changed your emotional tone from tired to angry and back to tired too quickly. The mother is already tired, you should have asked "who hit you" in a tired tone, not in an angry one."

Kana's brow furrowed as she processed the criticism, "But.. wouldn't you be angry if someone hit me?"

"I would be," her mother acknowledged, "But if you're going to make that choice, then you need to sustain that anger throughout the scene. Changing emotions too quickly without proper transition is the mark of bad acting."

"Bad acting?" Kana repeated as if the words were in a foreign language. Her face crumpled slightly. In all her years of performing, through countless scenes spanning multiple projects, no one had ever said those words to her.

The only time she ever felt inadequate was when that boy outshined her years ago, even then her mother didn't say her acting was bad.

"You are excellent with your usual crying scenes," her mother continued, seemingly oblivious to the devastation she was causing. "But you're not as prepared for serious drama work as I had thought." The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable.

"What? No!" Kana's protest came out sharp and desperate, "I am good at acting! I can do better than that!"

Before her mother could respond, the sound of her phone ringing broke her attention. She held up one finger in a gesture for patience while reaching for her phone.

"Hello, Arima residence."

"Good evening Miss Arima, I have some news that you'd be happy to hear. There's a movie project that requires two young girls as co-leads. The producers know about Kana, and she will be a great fit for the role."

"What kind of a project is it?" Her mother's voice carried cautious optimism.

"It's a children's adventure film. Technically it's a lower budget production, but they're offering surprisingly good compensation for Kana to take one of the lead roles."

Her mother's enthusiasm deflated slightly, "Low budget… again?"

"Well, breaking into major studio productions isn't easy. I'm sure you know that all too well. These things take time and the right connections."

"Hitting it where it hurts, huh?" She managed a dry chuckle. "We'll take it. It's certainly better than any ice cream commercial."

The agent laughed, "Excellent. There is one important detail to mention, though. This won't feature any of Kana's signature crying scenes. The movie is all about an upbeat and joyful adventure story. So this could be a great opportunity to show how versatile Kana really is." he said, stressing the last word.

Her mother glanced over at her daughter, who was waiting patiently for the call to be over, still processing the sting of being called a bad actor. "Certainly. Kana is a remarkable actress, whether the role calls for emotional depth or otherwise."

"Perfect. I'll send over all the details this evening."

The call ended with a soft click, leaving the apartment in silence. She gently tossed the phone on the couch beside her and turned to address her daughter. 

"We've got a new movie," she announced in a commanding voice, "But you need to be completely ready this time. We're going to dedicate all your free time to serious training from now on. Understood?"

"Yes, Mama." Kana's response came quietly, but there was fire behind those eyes. She knew she was a great actress, and she will prove it.

- x -

Notes:

Author's Notes :

Up next - Chapter 11 : Small wins

Chapter 11: An unexpected Encounter

Summary:

Oshi no Ko X Spy Family.
Just a normal day for the Hoshino family enjoying at the park.
(Not canon to the story. This was meant to be chapter 10.1 but apparently can't name it that way.)

Months had passed since Ai announced her retirement, and ever since she got discharged from the hospital, she had been away from public life. Hoping that with time the people will move on to newer idols and she could blend in the crowd like any other ordinary person.

She knew it would take time, but seems like she had underestimated how soon she would be able to walk out of her apartment without someone looking her way with recognition. Even now, people recognised her and even approached her. Some well wishers, others looking for an autograph or a picture, though such occasions had become less frequent.

One Sunday afternoon, the sunlight filtered through the living room windows, basking the apartment in a gentle glow. Ruby was sprawled on the floor just in front of the couch, resting her chin in her palms, swaying her legs playfully as the TV showed her favorite cartoons.

Aqua sat on the couch with a book too big for his years. No one ever questioned him if he can actually read all the difficult kanji in it, and he never asked anyone for any help with reading. The boy liked pretending to be a mature man, or so all the adults around him said. Except Ai, "Aqua's really smart! He gets it from me~!" she would announce proudly, to people she could of course.

Outside, the late afternoon sun played hide and seek behind the clouds, casting the familiar Tokyo scenery in alternating bands of warm light and cool shadows. Which also reflected in the living room. The gentle breeze whispered through the partially opened window, the dull hum of a city enjoying a perfect weather.

Ai walked out of her bedroom after folding the fresh laundry, stretching her arms behind her back, relaxing her muscles after being stiff for too long. She felt her abdomen stretch — the pain still lingered even after many months. Though at this point it was a mild discomfort than actual pain, something she had gotten used to ignoring.

She opened the balcony door, breathing the fresh air of this gentle afternoon. The weather just, called to her. It had been a while since she was out just for the sake of being out. She couldn't, or her fans would have swarmed her. Who knew someone could miss something as simple as just being outside.

She turned her head to her kids, "It's been forever since we've been out as a family," she said stepping back in the room, her voice cutting through the happy noises of the television cartoons. "Aqua, Ruby, do you want to go to the park?"

Ruby's eyes snapped up to her mother and before she knew it, she was jumping on her feet, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" she chanted, dashing towards their bedroom.

Aqua's response was more measured, he closed his book and put it down beside him, "Are you sure it's safe?" he asked, his tone suggesting he was calculating risks.

Ai chimed, "Of course it's safe," her voice bright as she moved towards him, watching his unsure expression and she crouched to match his level on the couch, "I will protect you both. Don't you worry." she said with a smile.

"That's not what I meant, people will still recognize you and approach you. And being seen with us might still be risky." Aqua reasoned.

"Ah–, that's what masks and baseball caps are for!" Ai chirped.

"We will be fine brother!" Ruby chimed in, already bouncing towards them with a softball that she fetched. She didn't stop by them, instead dashed past them and towards the door to put her shoes on.

Ai had already picked up her mask and put it on, and she reached for the baseball cap and her light coat.

"You are so sure, mother." Aqua sighed to himself watching Ai take all these extra precautions. Then he jumped off the couch and joined his sister by the front door to put his shoes on.

The gentle afternoon breeze greeted them the moment they stepped outside. Ai took her daughter's hand as they walked, with her son following very close by.

Aqua was alert despite his causal strides, his eyes swept the surroundings with a methodological precision. Cataloging faces, noting exits, measuring distances between them and any potential threats. To his relief, none ever came. No one recognized her either, and soon they were nearing the neighborhood park.

Stepping inside the boundaries of the park, the smell of freshly cut grass greeted them. The green stretched as far as their eyes could see, with very few people in sight. They walked in deeper into the park until they encountered a bench, and that was the spot they chose. Ai sat down watching Ruby run around the park with the softball in her hand, Aqua only kept a watchful eye on her, and somehow he was still scanning the sparsely populated park.

"Brother!! Catch!" Ruby yelled and threw the ball his way  and the ball sailed through the air, not realizing Aqua wasn't paying attention.

The softball connected with his cheek with a soft thud, more surprise than actual impact. "Ow…" he said, rubbing his cheek, his tone a little too dramatic.

"Are you okay Aqua?" Ai asked, concern flooding her voice as her maternal instincts took over.

"It's just a softball," he replied, bending to retrieve the ball. He straightened to find Ruby holding her stomach, laughing brightly. "I wasn't ready!" he deadpanned before pulling his arm back, holding the softball.

He launched the softball towards his sister. And he missed, it hit the ground just beside her and rolled past her into the grass. Ruby scrambled after it with her laughter subsiding to giggles, determined to retrieve the ball before it rolled too far.

Ai settled in the old wooden bench, watching her kids throw the ball at each other. A smile tugged at her lips beneath the mask. No one could see it, but she could feel it. Watching her kids play in peace, she almost believed they were just another family out in the park.

It made her happy.

"Mind if I sit here?"

A voice, polite and melodic, pulled Ai from her thoughts. She turned to see a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties, with lustrous black hair that caught the light like silk. Intricate, rather long hair pins held the flowing strands in an elegant arrangement. Her smile was warm, but her stillness felt… precise.

"Ah, sure," Ai said, her voice muffled by the mask just a little.

The woman settled beside and almost immediately a child's voice called, "Mama!!" The voice was filled with pure joy.

A little girl skidded to a halt in front of the bench where Ai and the woman were sitting. Her eyes shifted from unbridled excitement to intense curiosity. Her wide, unblinking eyes, fixed on the masked stranger with an intensity of trying to solve a puzzle.

"Who is this lady?" she asked, never looking away.

"She's just another nice lady visiting the park," her mother replied warmly.

"Is she your daughter?" Ai asked, charmed by the girl's bold curiosity.

"She is," the woman replied with a soft smile and maternal pride in her voice before turning to her daughter, "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

The little girl's expression straightened as she introduced herself. "I'm Anya Forger. I'm mama's daughter!" She exclaimed, almost sounding proud.

"It's nice to meet you little Anya." Ai eyes crinkled in amusement.

The woman inclined her head towards Ai, "I'm Yor Forger. It's nice to meet you too." Then her gaze lingered on Ai, her expression suggesting she waited for her to introduce herself.

Ai hesitated, wondering if she should let them know who she was.

"You're that lady!" Anya's voice cut through the silence before it became uncomfortable. "Ai!"

Ai stiffened upon hearing her name. Her eyes darted towards an excited Anya, surprised that she saw through her disguise. She slowly took off her cap and mask and greeted her with a nervous chuckle, "I thought no one would notice but you figured out who I was in an instant."

"Miss Anya is very clever," her mother praised.

Anya puffed her chest and struck a pose, holding her chin up and joining her hands to make a finger gun. "Hehehe, I'm the greatest spy ever. Nothing escapes me!"

"Ai, I see. You really are a great spy. No wonder you figured out who I was." Ai said watching Anya strike a myriad of spy poses.

"Are you someone famous?" Yor asked with genuine curiosity, catching Ai off guard.

Before Ai could answer, Anya did it for her, "She is the lady from the news. She was hurt really badly when a bad guy attacked her."

Yor thought for a moment, "Ah! Now I remember, you're the girl who was attacked in her house." Then her voice softened, "That.. must have been very scary."

Ai lowered her gaze, mild panic rising in her chest at the memory. She pushed the thought down, trying not to relive that movement when she was scared to the teeth for her children.

Anya punched the air, "You should have trained in martial arts! You could have hit that bad guy like.. Pow!" She said, demonstrating the punch.

"Miss Anya's right." Yor said standing up and doing a demonstration of her own, "You could have turned the knife back towards him like this!" she twisted her arms, showing how to disarm an assailant holding a knife.

"I should have learned how to defend myself, huh?" Ai chuckled watching the mother daughter duo.

"Yes. It's very important to know how to defend oneself." Yor said, demonstrating more of her moves. "You could do this to disarm anyone if you hit down here. Or you can go for some of the weaker spots like the joints of the neck and they go down very easily."

Ai just chuckled, watching in awe and amusement, "I will remember that."

A softball rolled over to them beside Anya, hitting her leg. She scooped it up with a gleam in her eyes. "A Ball!"

She waved it over trying to get the attention of a big fluffy white dog dozing at a distance.

"Bond! Fetch!" Anya threw the ball over to the dog. It sailed in the air and thunked off Bond's head, bouncing behind him.

"Borf!" The dog groaned and got up with lazy movements to fetch the ball.

"Heyy! That was mine!" Ruby yelled as she barreled towards them. Her legs tangled under her speed and she pitched forward, landing face first in the grass.

"Are you okay?" Ai and Yor both got up in unison. But Ruby sprung up off the ground with no sign of any injury and continued her dash to catch up to them.

"That was my ball!" she puffed, watching the lumbering dog as he retrieved it in his mouth.

Aqua was not too far behind, "Ruby! Be nice." he scolded.

Bond dropped the ball neatly at Anya's feet with a triumphant "Borf" and Anya picked it up.

The twins froze. Awe struck in their eyes as they stared at the enormous, cloud-like dog. Ruby slowly crept forward, her hand outstretched—

"Be careful!" Ai called.

"Bond doesn't bite. He is a very friendly dog." Yor assured.

"Yes! He is the nicest dog," Anya added, presenting the ball to Ruby, "You wanna play fetch with him?"

Ruby hesitantly took the ball and moved closer to touch his fur. Bond lowered his head, happily accepting the pets. Ruby's fingers sank into his thick fur and her gasp was pure delight. "His fur is so soft!"

"His fur is the softest!" Anya echoed, puffing up with pride.

"Why don't you all play together?" Yor suggested.

Anya pointed forward dramatically, "Let's go, Bond! Fetch!"

Ruby hurled the ball with all her might. Bond dashed after it. The girls erupted in laughter as they raced behind him, though their legs were too small to keep up with the dog.

Aqua was right behind, calling after Ruby with exasperation, "Ruby! Slow down!"

Ai's heart eased as she watched her daughter's laughter ring out. For a fleeting moment, she wasn't a celebrity hiding behind masks. She was out here, enjoying the day as a family. Beside her, Yor's voice broke the silence.

"Are they your children?"

Normally she would deny it — to protect them, to protect herself. This time she felt like just telling her. To proudly claim Aqua and Ruby as her kids. She took a moment of silence looking at her kids running, giggling in the distance as the words pressed against her throat, 

"They are." Her voice was soft but steady. She paused then allowed herself to say it fully.

"I'm Ai Hoshino, and they are my kids. Aqua Hoshino and Ruby Hoshino."

Yor's smile was warm, "They're adorable."

It was just to one woman she had claimed to be their mother, far from the entire world, but it felt like a new beginning. A claim she had been aching to make aloud. 

And it made her happy.

"You have a lovely daughter, too." Ai added.

The mothers sat in silence, content in watching their kids run around throwing a ball for the dog to fetch. After a beat, Yor spoke again,

"I saw it on the news," her voice quieter this time, "About what happened and how badly you were hurt. I'm glad you made it through. It must have been tough on you and on them… How are you feeling now? Are you healed?"

Ai looked at her, "It took months, but I'm completely healed… Honestly," she hesitated, "I was more afraid of leaving them alone than I was of dying…"

"I understand that," Yor said, "No child should go through life without their mother."

"Mhmm," Ai's reply was a hum, but it carried weight.

At the distance, Ruby hurled the ball again, shrieking with delight. Anya had climbed up on the dog's back and she clung on as Bond ran after the ball. Aqua followed them both trying to keep up with their antics, while keeping a watchful eye on them.

On the bench, two mothers watched in quiet peace, enjoying the day with their families.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of Oshi no Ko : Rewrite (AU)