Chapter Text
Ever since that performance…
The bright lights that drew his eyes to the stage. The seasoned movements of those dancing made him in awe of their experience. The cheers from the audience enticed him to join in. But most importantly…
Saki’s face was split into a wide grin, delight evident in every corner of her body. Her thin arms tried to copy the dancers, a filling hope making her shine in a way he didn’t know she could.
Tsukasa’s sister was always sickly. The moments she was allowed to stay home were sporadic and ephemeral. Yet on that day, when they had decided to watch an idol performance on a whim, she was so excited and happy.
Their parents discussed where to take them in the front seats of the car, their voices crescendoing until they decided to ask Saki and him where they should go.
They had the choice to visit Phoenix Wonderland or a different place, but Saki, in her five-year-old glory, decided to pick an idol show nearby.
“Huh? I didn’t know you were into idols, Saki!” Tsukasa asked as his parents strapped them into their car seats to his flustered dismay.
Saki shook her head, her pigtails bouncing at the movement. “I did really wanna see Phenny-kun, but also idols are super cool and sparkly! I wanted to see a show!” She giggled into her chubby hand, her small cheeks flushed.
The car started, and they played toys together to pass the time. He didn’t try tickling her: it could set her off into a coughing fit.
The venue was large, with people bustling into the area. His mother and father carried them on their heads until they could find a good spot to sit, even though Tsukasa insisted that he wouldn’t get lost!
Then, the show started. The lights dimmed suddenly, and four girls waved to them--no, to him --as they entered the stage, shining as bright as the stars that dotted the sky.
“Everyone! Thank you for coming!” They greeted warmly.
Saki, his little sister, who was always pale and hurting, was brimming with energy. She pointed to the stage in wonder, waving her glowstick with vigor.
Ah. I want to be like that.
Someone who could make everyone smile. Someone to inspire hope in everyone. Someone who dazzled so brightly, it was like numerous stars walked on stage.
I want to be an idol!
A pulse of light from his phone. The world had rewritten itself, changing the story to fit one’s dreams.
A footstep a bit to the left, then wave your right hand. Smile and sing along to the last verse here. Don’t let your voice waiver and keep your posture natural. Pose and hold your position as the song fades.
“Good job, Onii-chan!” Saki clapped loudly, her eyes shining. “You learned this dance faster than the last!”
She jumped from his bed to hand him a towel and a water bottle.
“Haha, thank you, Saki!” He boated while grinning, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Tsukasa spun on his toes, placing a hand on his hair and pointing another to the roof. “As expected of a star idol like myself, haha!”
His mood slightly soured when he remembered all of those response letters. “Now if only those agencies could see it as well!”
Saki frowned. “Don’t be down, onii-chan! You’ve got this! We just got another so we can check it out now!”
He nodded readily, smiling again. “You’re right, Saki, Let’s go now! Thank you for watching my dances!”
She giggled into her hand, opening the door--which truly had no purpose, as there was a large lack of a wall to their right--and leading them back down.
Tenma Tsukasa was going to become an idol! He’d make the audience shower him with praise and smiles galore! All he needed for his dream to come true was for one of these damn agencies to accept him with warm applause!
What was he doing wrong, anyway!? He had the dances down--for dancing and memorizing them was easy for him--the singing, his introduction, and even his smile! Everything of his was absolute perfection, but they just couldn’t see it!
He sniffled, running his finger under his nose. No, he wasn’t upset. He was just… having allergies!
“Onii-chan…” Saki trailed off, looking at him funny. Ah, was he doing a bad job hiding his hurt? Tsukasa cleared his throat, throwing out ‘large smile to please the audience’s cries after he had to leave the stage after the show number 3’.
“Alright, let’s go and look at the letter!” He grabbed her arm and led them downstairs so he could get the envelope. Saki sat on the couch with a soft “uf!”
The letter to the latest idol agency he applied to. This letter would determine whether or not he went to the second screening process.
In junior high, he had his favorites chosen, of course. There were his top picks, and he dreamed of walking onto that stage with his hand held high.
And then he was rejected from the first. Then, the second, and then, the third.
But I can’t give up! Tenma Tsukasa will become an idol! He will see those bright smiles at his performance!
“No matter how this goes, onii-chan, know I’ll always support you!”
Tsukasa nodded. He decided to just rip the bandage off without hesitation, so he ripped the side and opened the thick paper.
In it…
“What!” Another rejection!? How?
“Th-this is absurd!” He held a hand over his mouth in disbelief. Saki stared at him with pity.
“Onii-chan… It’s okay, onii-chan! You’ve got the next one! Let’s go for ice cream after you shower, okay? We can even get Touya-kun to come with us!” She offered, her eyes wide.
“...Right. I can’t give up! My path to stardom is barely starting, haha!” He would just have to give his three thousand percent the next time he applied!
“Yeah!”
He tossed the letter on the coffee table, getting up to go to the bathroom. “Saki, I’ll pay once we go, alright?”
“Weh, onii-chan, I offered to take us all! You don’t have a part-time, either.”
Ah, right. He was planning on making money through gigs and the like, but since that had been falling flat…
“Maybe I should start applying for other jobs…” His hand was still on the handrail for the staircase, staring at the wall. “I don’t want you or Touya to pay every time we go out…”
“Onii-chan,” she said threateningly, stomping toward him.
“Ah--Saki!” He laughed nervously, trying to shy away from her. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud!” He protested. Her hands clapped his shoulders, and she stared hard into his eyes.
“Onii-chan, I’m doing this because I want to cheer you up! Think of Haruka-chan from ASRUN! What does she always say?”
“Tomorrow will be a good day… You’re right, Saki! I have to think positively!” He thumped his chest with his fist, smiling at his younger sister. She beamed.
“Mhm! I’m going to call Touya-kun and see if he can join us while you shower, okay?”
“Alright!”
After going to Touya’s house and taking him with them, they decided to go to a nearby diner at the end.
“We can eat a meal and then get dessert!” Saki explained to them both. They walked and talked, Saki talking about how she was able to see her friends again for the first time in forever, and Touya explaining the latest song he performed with his partner.
“Ah, with Akito, right? He’s in class 1-C, right?” Tsukasa asked as they crossed the street, staying vigilant for any passing cars.
It was barely the first day of school, and he’d been put in class 2-A. Imagine his surprise to hear an explosion somewhere on the campus while he was still getting used to his new seat and new classmates.
This is going to be an exciting year. As long as he doesn’t find the perpetrator, then his star attendance would be fine!
Please tell me I didn’t just jinx it.
Touya nodded. “Mhm. Akito’s class is close to mine so we see each other often.”
“I’ll have to thank my kouhai, then!” Touya seems happier now than ever before! Tsukasa hoped that Touya would continue to have fun with his singing. “How was your day, Saki?”
She perked up at the mention of her name but deflated slightly. “Ah… It was good! I saw Icchan again, and got to see Hona-chan and Shiho-chan, too!”
There was something she wasn’t telling him, but he didn’t press her for answers. “You should make plans with them soon, then! I’d love to properly host something for you all at the house!”
She nodded, her eyes blazing with determination. “Yeah! We should have a party soon!”
Touya smiled. “Ah, Tsukasa-senpai, have you gotten accepted to an agency yet?”
Tsukasa froze, his smile still on his face. Saki pushed him onto the booth seat, ordering water as he tried to compute a good answer.
The younger boy frowned. “They still haven’t accepted you? Is it perhaps because you have no professional experience?” He put a hand to his chin. “I can’t think of a different reason.”
Saki shook her head. “Me either! Maybe they blacklisted you for something you did in another life?”
Tsukasa sighed, taking a sip of his lemonade. “Maybe… But even so, I can’t give up! I’ll become a star-like idol!”
His sister tilted her head to the side. “Onii-chan, why did you want to become an idol again?”
Tsukasa blinked. “Hm… Why did I want to?” He stared at the space in between his sibling's seats. He thought about it for a second, not wanting to worry Saki or Touya. “It must be for the praise from the fans, of course!” He laughed. Ah, yes, what was an amazing idol without their praise! It could also partly be because he loved dancing and the stage, but that was neither here nor there.
“Hm.” Saki and Touya glanced at each other and then back to him. Did I say something wrong? Those bright glowsticks directed at him… excitement coursed through his veins. He couldn’t wait to audition once more for the change to see that from their perspective.
“Is that really it?” Saki asked, blinking owlishly, but then she shook her head.
Touya slowly nodded after, falling into the same rhythm as her speech. “Mm, well, If Tsukasa-senpai says it, then it must be the truth.”
Tsukasa laughed. “Next time, I’ll get accepted, or my name isn’t Tenma Tsukasa!”
“We believe in you!” They all clinked glasses.
Tsukasa scrolled through his phone meaninglessly. There were a few minutes before class started, so he allowed himself the guilty pleasure.
It wasn’t that he was completely illiterate with technology, but well…
Tsukasa sighed.
“Tenma-san, are you alright?” A classmate asked, to which he waved them off.
“Ah, don’t worry! It’s all fine!” He turned back to his phone, a little perturbed by the sudden concern.
It must be because I’m such a stellar student and classmate to all! He laughed to himself, practicing his vocal projection.
He’d have to work on it while walking home from school. What if the earset mics failed!? He could also work on some poses while waiting for the response letter.
I will get in! He repeated in his head like a mantra. And if he didn’t, then he’d try again! Perseverance was his middle name, after all.
“Tenma-san is laughing to himself again… It’s barely the first week of school…”
“Haha, I am Tenma Tsukasa! And I will become an idol!” He jumped from his seat, phone still in hand. The sudden movement jolted the screen, sending him to a random webpage. “Wah! My phone!” He glanced at it and then paused.
‘ The Wonder Stage from Phoenix Wonderland to be dismantled!’
“ WHAT !?” He yelled, sending his voice throughout all of KamiKou. Perhaps the neighboring cities heard, as well.
Tsukasa slumped in his seat at detention, hanging his head. How could he, stellar student Tenma Tsukasa, get detention ? That just was incomputable! He was innocent!
Expressing his emotions was not a crime! So now he was stuck here in this dingy classroom, waiting for his teacher to return with chalkboard erasers to be cleaned.
Ah, I could use this time to practice… He had to make the best out of a bad situation, after all! Tsukasa leaped to his feet, patting his pants off any dust, and began a dance playlist he’d been wanting to get through. His teacher would understand the reason if he properly explained his dream.
Not like other teachers did, though. He squashed that thought, shaking his head violently.
“Oya, may I ask what you’re doing?” Tsukasa did not scream! But maybe the teacher was inclined to come faster from the quiet noise he made.
The person laughed, stretching and standing up. It was a male around his age with choppy purple hair and a few blue streaks. His eyes were violently yellow, as bright and intelligent as a cat’s.
He was also taller than him by quite a few centimeters. Tsukasa found himself having to incline his head once the male got closer to him.
“Didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you saw I was here when you came in, fufu~.”
Well, it’s not my fault I felt shame at being here to notice! He wanted to say but didn’t.
He smiled, catlike, with mirth swirling around those dandelion eyes. “My name is Rui Kamishiro, I transferred here for the next two years.”
Tsukasa shook himself from his stupor, smiling like how he practiced. This is a perfect way to see if my idol-worthy charisma works!
He’d have droves of people lining up for meet-and-greets soon enough! His expression here would be the same one he’d use there!
First introductions are the most important in the idol industry!
So he upped his charisma factor and smiled. He spun around and then put his hands on his waist.
“Tsukasa, written as ruler of the world! Tenma, written as soaring pegasus! That is my most dazzling name: Tsukasa Tenma! I was born to become an outstanding, wonderful idol! With me in your group, you shall never fear the maelstrom of bad talent!” Ah, dammit! I got too into it! He forgot he was introducing himself to a companion and not an interviewer!
Kamishiro blinked and slowly clapped. “Wow. Tenma-san, I never expected that introduction. If I were meant to grade you, I’d surely give you a high score!”
Tsukasa brightened. “Wait, really?! Ahaha!” He laughed. “As expected, you see my talent! Thank you, Kamishiro-san!”
“Why of course! After hearing you introduce yourself, I can’t help but wonder if you were the one who screamed in the morning and shattered a few windows as a result.” Rui stared at him, his mouth more cat than human, with a knowingness in his eyes.
“Ah, that was--”
“Oh, no need to explain to me, Tenma-san! I was there, after all!” Kamishiro chuckled into his hand. “Besides, what’s a few rules to break, right?”
“Yeah…” Tsukasa looked to the side sheepishly. Never again! I’ll never go to detention again!
“So,” Rui said, leaning onto a desk. The teacher still hadn’t arrived, giving them time to talk. “You want to become an idol, Tenma-san?”
"Indeed! It’s been my dream since I was a child, haha! To become an idol and get showered in the deserved attention of others! To bask in the limelight of the stage--that is my goal!” He posed once again, giving Kamishiro his ‘smile for when he’s just finished dancing and is soaking up the glow of the lightsticks #14’.
Kamishiro blinked once again and smiled back. “Ah, that seems like a wonderful dream.”
He grinned. “Mhm! Since I answered your question, what do you want to be, Rui?”
Kamishiro froze, his breath becoming stuck in his throat. His eyes narrowed, the gold shining under the artificial lights from the classroom. His smile was pained at the edges. It looked like it hurt to make that expression.
“Ah, I have a dream, but it’s impossible to do now.”
Hm. Tsukasa didn’t like how sadness looked on anyone’s face. It crinkled their brightness, trying to take them under its influence.
“Surely not! What is it, Kamishiro-san?” He pressed, taking a micro-step to get closer.
The teen shook his head, chuckling. “I wanted to become a stage director, but well… It’s no use. Ah, I didn’t mean to bring down the mood, how about you continue with what you were doing?”
“Stage director? Like, messing with the lights and all that?”
“Ah, sort of. They’re also in charge of the props, and direction of the show, and manage the roles of their actors.” Rui listed with a certain brightness in his voice.
Tsukasa nodded along at the explanation. “That seems like a cool job to have, Rui! I wish you luck in that! Have you tried applying for any internships?” Did he just not have the experience required?
Kamishiro looked past him to the phone that was still propped on the chalkboard. “Tenma-san, what dance were you doing?”
Tsukasa frowned but obeyed the change in subject. “I was just about to try these dances from the idol Haruka Kiritani from the agency ASRUN! She’s truly incredible, becoming an idol at such a young age! She’s an inspiration to many including me, always reminding them to look towards the future, even if the present isn’t the nicest!” He said while preparing the dance once more. “I aspire to be like her!”
“An inspiration?”
“Yes--well, no. I aspire to reach her popularity!” He clarified, pushing play and taking a few steps back.
Haruka’s voice cut clearly through the near-silent classroom aside from their breathing. He was going to do a few warm-ups while she introduced the video.
If he focused enough, he’d be able to do the choreo in under five minutes!
“Ah, Tenma-san, you don’t mind if I tinker over here, do you?” Rui asked innocently from behind him. Tsukasa looked at him from between his legs. “Oh yeah sure. Do what you want, Kamishiro-san.”
“Very well then!” Why does he sound so sinister?
The music started, and got into step with her, trying to match her movements.
Don’t be tense here.
Smile extra wide here and show your teeth.
Move your foot behind the other--yeah, like that.
Tsukasa closed his eyes, imagining the intense music blaring from speakers surrounding him. The audience sang along to the lyrics, swaying their glowsticks with the beat. Intense fans with his colors on their shirt. And their faces would be…
“Tenma-san, Kamishiro-san,” the teacher said warningly, slamming the sliding door open. “I expected you both to be quietly reflecting.”
“Ah, sensei! I apologize!” Tsukasa stumbled to turn off his phone, almost dropping it in the process.
He was given the rest of the week’s worth of detention.
Tsukasa woke up today and knew it wasn’t going to be a good day.
First off, when he went to take a shower, he found that the battery for his hair dryer had exploded!
Then, he tried to go downstairs and slipped on the last step, causing him to fall on his ass and scrape the back of his heel!
And then, halfway to school, he realized he forgot to pack his lunch, meaning he was going to forfeit his precious luncheon for the day! The luncheon that he spent hours perfecting, making sure each vegetable was carefully placed, and the pickled plum was in the exact center of his rice!
Tsukasa groaned when he sat, already done with the day.
Please, can I have a better tomorrow already?
Once again, he scrolled through his phone, catching up on the latest idol gossip. Most of it was just rumors and hearsay, but what he saw under all of that had him shocked to his core.
‘Haruka Kiritani of ASRUN has quit. ASRUN has disbanded following this.’
“... What?” Tsukasa cleared his eyes, trying to make sure this wasn’t a cruel dream. Yet, that headline was still there when he opened them again.
Haruka had quit.
Haruka, the one who always told him to look towards a better tomorrow, had quit.
She’d given up.
Surely not!
It had to be fake!
He frantically read more, putting up his textbook to hide his phone usage from the teacher.
‘--now attending high school as a normal student at Miyamasuzaka.’
What.
Tsukasa gripped his phone tight until his knuckles went white, unsure what to think.
He texted Saki, asking her if she could confirm whether or not this was true.
Doesn’t Shizuku also attend that secondary school?
Shizuku, the older sister to Saki’s childhood friend Shiho. They grew close over the years, sharing the dream of becoming an idol. While Saki, Shiho, Honami, and Ichika were busy with themselves, Shizuku and he were together, forming balls of sand to try polishing into shiny spheres. Yet, as their sibling's friendships split, so did their relationship. He often thought of her when he was faced with another rejection letter, thinking of her kindness.
Tsukasa would ask her for help but found that he was unable to due to the fizzled relationship between their siblings. Saki said that all her friends were in Miyamasuzaka, so hopefully they’d go back to how they used to be!
I’ll have to wait for Saki, and then… And then what? His idol had quit, what did that mean for him?
If she had given up, then…
“No! Don’t panic, Tsukasa! You’ll just have to wait for your acceptance letter! This will be the one for sure!”
“Tenma-san, please quiet down,” his teacher scolded, sending him a withering glare.
Tsukasa blushed. “Ah, sorry, sensei! This won’t happen again!”
“Right. Please flip to page thirty-eight of the book…”
Please be a lie!
His worst nightmare came true when she messaged him back after school.
Saki please tell me that Haruka isn’t in your school!!: Tsukasa
Saki: Onii-chan, Haruka-chan! She’s in my class! Haruka-chan quit, onii-chan what do we do????
Saki: I didn’t see your message earlier, sorry! Onii-chan, don’t feel down! Just because she quit doesn’t mean you have to!
So she really… Haruka… quit… But what about her motto? Did she not believe in her own words anymore?
Tsukasa pocketed his phone as he walked home. The sun was already setting by the time he got out of detention with Kamishiro, who had sensed his defeat.
“Tenma-san, are you alright? Did something happen?” He had asked.
Tsukasa just shook his head. He took in a large breath and smiled. “Don’t worry, Kamishiro-san! I’m fine. Let’s finish wiping down the tables!”
He turned away from the taller male, mind focused on the task in front of him.
He didn’t want to give up, but…
“Male idols aren’t very popular, Tenma-kun.” His junior high teacher tapped on the career planning sheet. “It’s called something different, too. The idol industry is for females. A boy band is what you’re referring to. You certainly have the face for that.”
“No! I want to be an idol! One that shines on the stage!” Tsukasa protested, mind replaying his vision of an idol. He knew what he wanted to be!
His teacher shook his head and took the sheet, waving him away for another student to come up instead.
Tsukasa would be an idol, dammit! No matter what anyone said about him or his personality! He’d shine despite all that!
“Tsukasa-senpai?”
Tsukasa choked on his saliva, coughing at Touya’s sudden appearance. “T-Touya? I didn’t expect to see you here!” He quickly recovered, taking a sip of his water.
Touya was dressed in his performing outfit, and by his side was his partner Akito. He hadn’t met the other much--Tsukasa was busy at school in the morning with gossip and he ate inside the classroom at his table, occasionally chatting with a classmate or two--but he seemed like a good influence on Touya so he greeted him warmly.
“Ah, Akito!” “How loud is he--” “It’s a pleasure to see you here with Touya! Are you two on your way?”
Akito smiled, a bit strained for whatever reason. “We were just on our way to our venue, actually. It’s a pleasure to meet you here, Tsukasa-senpai but we really must be going no--”
“Touya, how have classes at Kamiyama been?” Tsukasa asked, feeling his phone burn a hole through his pocket.
Touya nodded, pensive. “They’re challenging but not too difficult. I scored well on the recent test.”
Tsukasa beamed. “That’s great! As expected, of course! And you, Akito?” Tsukasa shifted his attention to the other who flinched.
“Geh--I didn’t do poorly,” he said, flustered.
“Akito…” Touya frowned, clearly disappointed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll nail the next one, Touya.” Akito quickly reassured.
Tsukasa tightened his grip on his bag, shuffling his feet towards his house. “Alright, good luck on your performance, you two! I have to go home now!”
“Good luck with your application, Tsukasa-senpai.” Touya smiled.
“You’ve already applied again?” Akito questioned, surprised.
“Of course! Hahaha, I’ll never give up!” Tsukasa spun on his left toe and kicked his right foot back, raising both arms. “Tenma Tsukasa never gives up in the face of defeat! I’ll simply try again, no matter how many times it takes!”
“How many times is it now?”
Tsukasa counted on his fingers. “Hmm… sixty-two? Not sure. I’ll be off now!” Tsukasa waved widely as he walked past the duo to his house.
“There is something seriously wrong with that guy.”
“That’s Tsukasa-senpai, not ‘that guy’. And he’s the one that inspired me to rebel against my father.” Touya looked at Tsukasa’s retreating form, thinking back to his near-defeated look before he called out to the other.
“Tsukasa-senpai gave me hope that I could find something I enjoy, something that wasn’t classical music. He’s my idol.” He looked at his partner sternly. “So don’t disrespect him again.”
“Ah, right. Sorry.” Akito looked sheepish, so he let it slide.
Strike one for Shinonome Akito.
When Tsukasa got home, he was enveloped in a tight hug by his sister and parents.
“We heard what happened with Haruka-chan,” his mother explained, placing a bowl of curry in front of him.
“Don’t give up, onii-chan! You’re going to be an amazing idol!” Saki said as she sat down across from him.
Tsukasa smiled. “Thanks! Did otou-san get the mail yet?” Tsukasa drummed his fingers on the table, waiting for his father to drop the letter.
“After dinner, Tsukasa-kun!” He said, sitting on Saki’s left side.
“Alright…” Gah, he was dying to see it! He quickly scooped up his food, shoveling it into his mouth at break-neck speeds.
After a few minutes of relaxed conversation, they finished their meal.
“Okay!” Tsukasa slowly ripped the paper open, his family members leaning forward in anticipation.
‘Dear Tenma Tsukasa , after careful consideration, we’ve decided to deny your application at this time.’
No. No, no, not again--
‘--found you to be an excitable personality… clashes with other members…’
Was he the problem? Had he been doing everything wrong this whole time?
“Onii-chan…” Saki rested her weight on her hands, prepared to get up and comfort him. Tsukasa stood up faster, though.
“I’m going to go on a walk. I’ll be back soon.” Tsukasa crumpled the letter in his hands, grabbed a sweater, and left the house after his mother said to get home soon.
Stupid! Stupid!
He sniffled. Tsukasa couldn’t give up! He said earlier that he wouldn’t, but if even one of his favorite idols threw in the towel, then why shouldn’t he?
He wanted to be an idol for so long, to see it all crumble like this was so disheartening. Why did Haruka have to quit? Why did she give up hope?
Tsukasa’s feet led him to that familiar park. He felt disturbed by the silence. There was supposed to be a quartet of giggles that ran around the different areas, all ready to look at the sky by the time they were supposed to go home soon.
Instead, it was just him.
Tenma Tsukasa and his crushed dream.
He wasn’t a stranger to teasing. His junior high teacher and some classmates thought it was stupid for a guy to want to be an idol. They mocked him and called him ‘girly’ for wanting to be in a female-oriented profession. Tsukasa just ignored it, though. He’d turn it into motivation.
He also wasn’t a stranger to the reasonings given in the rejection letters.
They called him too loud. Too strident. Too uncontrollable.
But he didn’t want to change his entire personality, because then he wouldn’t reach his dream.
How was Tsukasa supposed to receive praise from the audience if it wasn’t even him on stage?
He looked back at the letter, seeing the familiar sentences that seemed to be generated on every rejection paper he got.
They were never sorry.
Tsukasa sighed, kicking off the swing. His eyes were closed. The swing must have been freshly oiled because he couldn’t hear it squeak at all.
“Maybe a nighttime run-through of the dance practice will help me! It might impress Momoi-san and Hinomori-san, too, hehe!”
Huh? Dance practice? And Momoi and Hinomori? As in, Airi Momoi? And his friend, Shizuku?
He opened his eyes, seeing a contemplative girl walking by him.
“Wait! You’re going to--”
“Gah!”
Too late; she walked right in front of him and got kicked in the face as a result. Tsukasa leaped off the swing, making sure to dodge her prone body.
“Are you okay!? You’re not concussed, are you!?” Tsukasa shouted, a hand a few inches from her face.
In the dark, it was hard to make out her features, but she had chestnut-brown hair that stopped a bit past her shoulders. She lay on the ground motionless.
Don’t tell me I just killed her.
Tsukasa panicked, hands going to his sides to grab his phone.
Crap! I left it at home! All he had was his stupid rejection letter!
“Where’s your phone, I need to call an ambulance!” He muttered, trying to glimpse into her pockets for it.
“<Over here! The phone is over here!>”
Huh?
“<We’re over here!>”
What? Tsukasa turned to where the voice was, almost screaming when he saw Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Rin waving their arms.
“W-What!?” He shook his head. This isn’t the time to be surprised at that! There’s a girl unconscious right next to him!
”<Quickly, call the ambulance!>” Rin said, stepping on the phone app.
“Right!” He grabbed her phone, quickly dialing 119.
“Eughh… What happened?” The girl muttered behind him.
“Eek!” Tsukasa jumped. The phone clattered from his hand and fell to the ground.
She sat up, her copper hair falling to her back. She had a hand pressed to where she was hit.
“I’m so sorry! I was swinging and I didn’t see you passing, so I kicked you and then—”
The girl just sighed. “Just my luck…”
“Huh?” Tsukasa blinked. “Has this happened to you before?”
She shook her head. “Oh, not like this! But I’ve always been really unlucky! I’d be walking around in my favorite outfits and birds would poop on me… or I’d end up stepping in a deep puddle without rain boots. But then,” she brightened as if she completely forgot she was out cold moments ago. “I saw Haruka-Chan on T.V. She was so bright, and it gave me hope! So even if things like this happen, I’m still going to look toward the future! More, more, more!” She jumped to her feet, swaying a bit. Tsukasa followed her, standing near her to make sure she didn’t fall.
“Wait, Haruka? As in, ASRUN Haruka?”
She gasped. “You know Haruka-chan!?”
Tsukasa nodded. “She’s one of my favorite idols! I loved all her shows, and her dances are—”
“You know the dances, too!?”
“Of course!” Tsukasa spun on his foot, putting a hand on his forehead and the other to the side. “I’m going to become an idol one day, after all! Haha!” Tsukasa grinned.
Her eyes brightened. “Me too! I wanna be an idol just like Haruka-chan so I can spread hope to others, just like how she did to me!” She was practically brimming with excitement.
“I want to become an idol to be a star! To shine brightly on stage, because that’s where I was born to be!” He put his hands on his hips.
“That’s cool! Let’s both work towards our dreams… ah! I forgot to ask your name!” She rubbed the back of her head, taking a small step back.
I should just introduce myself normally. “I’m Tenma Tsukasa!”
“My name is Minori Hanasato and—what’s that paper over there if you don’t mind me asking?”
Tsukasa turned to where she was pointing and saw his rejection letter a dozen centimeters from where she was standing.
His face turned bright red as he snatched it from the ground. “Oh, it’s nothing! Don’t worry, it isn’t anything the great Tenma Tsukasa can’t handle, haha!”
Hanasato looked between the paper he hid behind his back and his expression. “Tenma-san, have you gotten rejected by agencies, too?”
“Only a few…” Tsukasa looked to the side.
“More, more, more! We can’t give up, Tenma-san!” She grabbed both his hands, looking into his cloudy eyes with her clear grey ones. “Remember what Haruka-chan said: tomorrow will always be a better day! You just have to believe in that tomorrow—”
“How am I supposed to believe in it if she can’t herself?” He muttered, feeling anger boiling in his skin.
“Huh?” Her warm hands slacked their grip.
“Haruka said that there was a better tomorrow, and I believed that! I believed it, but she didn’t!” He said, finally giving voice to his thoughts. “Why couldn’t she believe what she was saying!? If she did, then I could, too!”
“Tenma-san…” Hanasato’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I wanted to become an idol for so long now, but how am I supposed to believe in myself anymore!? I’ve just faced rejection after rejection after rejection and I’m tired of hoping it’ll be better!”
Tsukasa heaved for breath, feeling that confession burn his tongue from how terrible it felt to admit. If even his role model couldn't continue, then--!
“Tenma-san," Hanasato said softly. "it’s up to you to keep hoping. You have to believe in yourself first, Haruka-chan is just the first step.” She smiled gently, her hands still holding his.
“<Mn! I agree with Minori-chan!>” Rin said from where the phone was still on the floor. “<Tsukasa-kun, you can’t give up yet! It’s only just begun!”>
Tsukasa’s eyes widened.
“Tenma-san, I think you’ve put in a lot of effort for just the praise. Why do you want to become an idol?”
Tsukasa looked down. He tried to get himself to think. To think back to the first time he saw an idol show.
“I… I don’t…” I can’t remember . It felt like it was all covered in a thick layer of epoxy.
“<Tsukasa-kun, Minori-chan, come see our show! Maybe it’ll help you both!>” Miku offered.
“<Mhm! You should come to see it!>”
Tsukasa looked between the phone and Hanasato. She was still smiling.
“Miku-chan and Rin-chan’s performances are always really good, Tenma-san! You should come watch it!” She went over to grab her phone, looking between it and Tsukasa.
Did he want to find out why he wanted to be an idol? Was there a reason he forgot?
There was no reason to not. He didn’t want to abandon hope, either.
“I’ll go!” He stepped forward and grabbed her outstretched hand.
Hanasato pushed play on a song called Untitled, and he had to close his eyes at the sudden brightness.
When he opened them, they were at the foot of a stage. It was vast, spanning as far as his eyes could see, with green clover patterns decorated all over it.
“Where are we?”
“This is SEKAI! A place created by true feelings!” Miku’s voice was clearer now that she wasn’t a hologram thing, but still—
“Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Rin!?”
“Hehe, here in the flesh~!” Rin giggled cutely.
“Tenma-san, come here! There are reserved seats for us!” Hanasato patted the chair next to her, and Tsukasa rushed to her side.
“Are you ready, Tenma-san!?” She asked, on the edge of her seat. “Wah, I’m so excited!”
Wait… that’s so familiar.
“Everyone, thank you for coming to our show!” Miku and Rin said at the same time, waving to the crowd of seats that spanned endlessly behind them.
“We have a special guest today, and we’re going to show him his true feelings!”
With that, the lights dimmed, and the two took their place.
The song began, and they sang perfectly in sync. Each movement that Rin did was complimented or purposely contrasted with Miku’s movements. They danced as one, a perfect combination to highlight each other’s strengths.
That’s… I want to shine as brightly as that.
“Saki, look—!” He turned, expecting to see pigtails. Instead, he saw a brunette with pure adoration in her eyes. She was bursting with excitement, her legs kicking out in front of her.
Saki, who looked so happy to see them dancing.
Saki, who babbled about the show the whole way home. Who was so sad that she had to leave.
Saki, who was the reason that Tsukasa wanted to become an idol in the first place.
Saki’s face had split with a hope-tinged smile.
Tsukasa wondered how the view from the stage would look.
“Tsukasa-kun, come look!”
Huh?
Miku strode towards him, holding out her hand.
“C’mon, Tsukasa-kun. Come have a preview of the view!”
He looked at Hanasato, who was shooing him forward.
He grabbed Miku’s hand, letting her pull him up.
“Tsukasa-kun, you know the dances from Haruka-chan’s setlist, right?”
“Mhm! I’ve practiced every song thirteen times, haha!” His eyes were set on the backdrop of the stage. He could hear his heart racing and wondered if Miku or Rin could hear it, too. It was embarrassing to admit, but Tsukasa was scared to turn and face the audience. He didn’t know if the view was as good as how he imagined it all these years.
The speakers that blared began playing. It was a song he recognized.
The first four seconds passed, and he got into position. Tsukasa flipped around, raising his arms as he moved his left foot behind his right one.
The glow sticks shone gold as if the sun was close enough to embrace.
It was the yellow of his hair, the yellow of tomorrow’s morning.
The yellow of hope.
Tsukasa panted, grinning wildly. He felt that his lips might break from how hard he was smiling.
“Everyone, thank you for coming to our show!” Miku and Rin said at the same time.
“Thank you all! And thank you, Hanasato-san! For reminding me of tomorrow’s glory!” He turned to her, trying to convey all his gratitude in one message.
”I think we all like Tsukasa-kun for who he is, right, everyone?” Miku asked the crowd. They all clapped, erupting in cheers. Hanasato cheered loudest of all.
“Thank you!” He meant it. A tear rolled down his cheek, followed by many more. “Thank you all!”
“Tenma-san, that was amazing!” Hanasato raved, her arms flying around and she spoke.
Tsukasa thanked Miku and Rin profusely, bowing. They giggled and said it was all fine, and to visit again if he was having any troubles. He said he would, and then Hanasato paused Untitled.
When they left, they’d found it was much later than they thought, so Tsukasa offered to take her home, to which she agreed.
They walked, shoulders barely brushing against each other, with the moon as their only other company.
“Hanasato-san, you can call me Tsukasa! We know each other quite well now!”
“Then you can call me Minori!” They laughed together, turning the corner onto her street.
“Thank you, Minori! Without you, I really would have given up, I think. Now to find an agency to accept me…” He sighed, smiling. “What’s another twenty rejections? It’s nothing I can’t be defeated by!”
Minori nodded her head. “We can’t give up, Tsukasa-san! We just have to find the right agency to accept us!”
Just then, an idea popped into his head. “Minori, you’ve been rejected by a few as well, right? You haven’t gotten accepted to one yet?”
Minori’s cheeks flushed. “It’s only fifty! I’m going to try even harder this time! I’m even being helped by Hinomori-san and Momoi-san!”
Tsukasa whipped his head to face her, his face a wide grin. “ The Momoi Airi? The one from the variety shows and QT!? And Shizuku, too!?” How lucky!
She nodded rapidly. “Mhm! Wait, Tsukasa-san, you know Hinomori-san?” She tilted her head.
Tsukasa nodded, smiling smugly. “Haha, Shizuku and I have been friends since childhood! My imouto and her’s used to go to the park together, so we would tag along.” Minori seemed starstruck. She put her hands on her cheeks.
“That’s so cool!” Tsukasa laughed at her expression.
“Minori, since I haven’t been accepted to any group, and you haven’t either, how about we start an idol group?”
She stopped. “What? Wait, our own!? Like, you and me?”
Tsukasa nodded, pumping his chest. “Mhm! You’re the one who helped me discover why I wanted to be an idol, so it’s only right we stick together!”
“Wah, but I’m not very good at dancing yet… I wouldn’t want to drag you down, Tsukasa-san…”
“Nonsense, Minori!” He patted her back. “We’re supposed to support each other, after all!” Tsukasa smiled at her.
“I-I never thought this would happen, I’m so happy! I’d love to start one with you, Tsukasa-san!” Minori’s eyes were shining, and she excused herself to grab her contact info.
“I as well!”
She went inside her house, squealing about a “Samo-chan’s wet kiss” before coming back out more disheveled than she went in.
“Here you go, Tsukasa-san! We’ve got this!”
“Yeah!” He grabbed the paper and thanked her, wishing her a good night.
“Have a safe trip home, Tsukasa-san!”
“Thanks!”
When he came home, noticeably lighter, his parents looked at each other and then back at him.
“Saki! Okaa-san! Otou-san! I joined an idol group!” He beamed.
“Yay!” They all stormed him, hugging him tightly.
“I knew you could do it, Tsukasa-kun!” His father said while weeping.
“Thank you, otou-san!”
“It’s because you never stopped believing!”
“Tomorrow will be a better day, okaa-san!”
“Onii-chan, congrats!”
“Thank you, Saki!”
“Hmm… That’s not right… This isn’t, either…”
Tsukasa walked through the hallway, scrolling through his phone.
Minori agreed to meet him today after practice—and after his detention, which still hadn’t ended because he was “too much of a public disturbance,” he was searching for a good choreo to practice with her.
Ever since he’d agreed to start a group with her (which occurred less than twenty-four hours, by the way) he’d been unable to sleep, too preoccupied with thoughts over his now-reachable idol career.
We’re going to be idols soon! He was so excited he could just begin to dance!
So he did, right there in the middle of the hallway.
Minori and him would become the most acclaimed idols, known worldwide for their ability to spread hope in anyone, no matter the circumstances!
I have to practice this skill somehow! He’d never become the idols he admired if he couldn’t do this at least!
Tsukasa moved his arms around as he stepped to his sides, closing his eyes and humming.
He heard footsteps stop, and a female voice quietly mumbled, “What the hell…”
They must be in awe at my dancing! Tsukasa went faster, smiling broadly.
“E-excuse me,” She started, tapping her loafer on the floor.
“Ah, yes?” Tsukasa’s eyes burst open, reaching into his bag for a pen. I can’t wait to sign my first signature!
“Can I please pass?”
Tsukasa looked down to see a girl with coral-green hair and a slight blush looking up at him. Her eyes flicked around him nervously, and her hand clutched her phone in a vice grip.
“Oh, yes! Of course! Can I ask your name, I haven’t seen you before!” Tsukasa thumped his chest. “My name is Tenma Tsukasa! World’s future star idol!”
“Right…” The girl shook her head, the front-tied bangs hitting her shoulders at the force. “My name is Kusanagi Nene. I’m in Class 1-B, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Tenma-senpai.” She bowed, moving to pass him.
Tsukasa tilted his head. “How did you know I was your senpai? I never said I was in my second year.”
She blinked. “You’re already infamous… I mean, famous in the school, Tenma-senpai.”
“What!? For what!?” Surely the school has already recognized his idol-like presence. “Ha! Hahaha!” He grinned.
“Well, we all know you’re the one who broke the windows on all the floors.”
“W-What!? No! No this can’t be! My perfect reputation, shattered! And so easily, at that!” Tsukasa grabbed the sides of his head, looking to the sky. “How is this supposed to recover!”
He was supposed to have a pristine record, and all because of his surprise, it was destroyed!
To his ire, Kusanagi began giggling. It started soft, but when she noticed how he wasn’t angry, it got louder.
“Kusanagi! How could you laugh at this!?” He gasped, taking a step back.
“You’re quite a one-man spectacle, senpai.” She said, pointedly staring around him.
Tsukasa deflated. “I don’t think that’s a compliment…” He looked at Kusunagi's phone which was angled slightly towards him.
“Crap--I’m late for detention! I’ll talk to you later, Kusunagi!” He shouted, running past her.
“I don’t think you should be running in the halls, Tsukasa-senpai… But bye.” She waved, still smiling.
“Bye, Kusunagi!” He waved behind him, skedaddling to that classroom empty of everyone sans one person.
“And IIIII have arrived!” Tsukasa slammed the sliding door open, panting wildly. His carefully managed hair was in complete disarray as he’d forsaken his etiquette to hopefully make it to detention in time.
Both his teacher and Kamishiro jumped at the sudden noise, staring at the door with wide eyes.
“Welcome, Tenma-san,” Rui said with a close-eyed smile.
“Tenma-san, we heard you thundering down the hallway. You should know by now that you’re not allowed to run,” his teacher sternly said, getting off his knees to write something down on his attendance sheet.
Damn it! Despite all his efforts, his performance still wasn’t perfect!
Next time I’ll make it on time! He’d just have to exit class faster—without running—to be able to talk to Nene in passing, and then shuffle— not run—to class!
“I’m sorry, sensei!” He bowed, then went to his knees to help Kamishiro.
The catlike man--and before he entered, his teacher as well--were hunched over a large cardboard box stacked to the brim with dusty papers.
His peer got to work explaining what they were assigned to do today. “Tenma-san, we have to sort these worksheets in alphabetical order.” He gestured to the giant box covered in dust. It looked like his teacher had no more work, and had dug up whatever to keep them busy.
So in other words, this is just busy work… Tsukasa sighed. He took a deep breath and turned to Kamishiro. “Kamishiro-san! Let’s get this done with one thousand percent energy! Haaaahhh!” He dug his hands into the box.
“Ah, Tenma-san, you shouldn’t—”
Kamishiro said it too late as he’d already shoved his hands inside. A cloud of smoke exploded from the papers, flying around the classroom. Tsukasa was unfortunate enough to be right in front of it.
“Gweh!”
“Tenma-san!”
“Tenma-san?”
His teacher hurried toward him, a towel in hand. Tsukasa sneezed, then inhaled sharply, and then sneezed again.
Dust attack! Tsukasa scrambled backward, trying to escape the forest of allergies.
His teacher got to work, waving around the towel to dispel the dust. When Tsukasa opened his eyes, he saw the dust was gone from the air, but he and Rui were covered from head to toe in it.
“Ah, Kamishiro-san! I’m sorry I dusted you like that!”
Rui waved off his concerns, smiling. “It’s alright. I’ve been covered in worse before, fufu.”
“Rrright. Sensei, let me help you clean the desks!” Tsukasa got to his feet and then sneezed again. There was still dust in his nostrils, irritating his throat and eyes.
“Tenma-san, go to the nurse and get your face flushed out. Take Kamishiro-san with you. Your detention is dismissed for today.”
“But I’m fine—” Tsukasa protested, trying to walk closer to the box to start rummaging.
“Let’s go, Tenma-san.” Rui grabbed his sleeve and excused the both of them.
“Wha—Kamishiro-san!” Tsukasa grumbled some more but relented, as the taller male already had both their bags.
I’ll work double hard tomorrow at detention, then!
“Tenma-san, you seem lighter today,” Rui said conversationally, passing him his handbag. Tsukasa muttered a quick thanks, strapping it to his shoulder.
“Hmm, really? We haven’t known each other long, so how could you tell?” Truth be told, he did feel lighter. He now knew why he was chasing his dream, and with that realization, a new determination ejected itself into his veins. Now, more than ever before, he wanted to be an idol. Not for the fame or the praise, but for their smiles.
“It’s your eyes.” Rui pointed to his own, chuckling. “They seem brighter. Like you found something out recently. Before, they were murky, like the bottom of a pond.”
“Ah,” Tsukasa put a hand on his chin. “I guess it’s because I was lost for a while. I was walking and walking when I should have been searching. As a result, I ended up getting lost.” The blonde laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “But thanks to a special person—er, people—I found my way again. I know why I want to be an idol now!”
Rui smiled, closing his eyes. He opened the door to the nurse and followed him inside. “So why do you want to be an idol, Tenma-san?”
“To spread hope!” Tsukasa grinned, large and genuine and sparkling. “To make people smile the same way my sister did when we went to see a show! I want everyone who watches me to feel the same way I did back then!“
Rui’s eyes widened, the pain that always seemed like a light switch flickering. “Tenma-san…”
“If I can inspire even one person, then I’d feel satisfied!” He placed his hands on his hips. “ That’s the real reason I want to be an idol!”
Rui smiled, enigmatic and plastic-like. “I see. Well, I wish you luck with that.”
“Thank you, Kamishiro-san! I’m going to shine so bright and—” he cut himself off with a sneeze, followed by a cough.
I hate dust!
“Let me turn on the tap water so we can start flushing out the dust.”
“Alright!”