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Their third grade teacher, a beta named Mrs. Lu, is the one who puts them together in the middle of the school year because Hongjoong threw a minor tantrum when he was initially assigned to sit beside Kim Dahyun.
“Hongjoong, you can’t just refuse to sit beside any girl I put you with,” Mrs. Lu sighs. Her glasses are perched on the top of her head as she cradles her chin in one hand and the other pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. “You’ve already said something about the last seating chart. And I heard from your second grade teacher that you said the same thing.”
The class is out for recess as Mrs. Lu sits at her desk and Hongjoong stands beside it, nonchalantly leaning against the wall with one foot up.
“But I don’t like them,” is always Hongjoong’s answer.
“Well, why don’t you like them?”
“They’re gross.”
Mrs. Lu makes a garbled noise.
Hongjoong tilts his head in confusion, like the answer is that easy.
“Hongjoong… They’re not— I mean… What about them do you think is gross?”
“Their laughs,” Hongjoong says immediately, “why are they always laughing?”
Mrs. Lu sighs again and stands from her desk, moving her glasses from her head back to her nose. She walks over to the paper chart of seat assignments tacked onto the blackboard. She studies it for a moment before picking up her marker and crossing out a few names here and there.
When she’s finished penning the new names, she turns to Hongjoong, who’s still by her desk.
“Alright, you’ve been moved.”
Hongjoong pushes himself off of the wall and peers past Mrs. Lu to see where his new seat is.
He groans. “Not Park Seonghwa—”
“Yes Park Seonghwa,” Mrs. Lu says with finality. “Maybe Seonghwa will teach you how to treat girls with the respect they deserve.”
“But Mrs. Lu—”
“End of conversation, Hongjoong. And you better believe I’ll be contacting your parents regarding that temper tantrum.”
“Whatever,” Hongjoong grumbles as the bell rings, signalling the end of recess.
The class files back into the room leisurely.
Hongjoong shuffles over to his new seat next to Park Seonghwa, a lanky boy with big eyes, though his dark hair always partially covers his eyes.
It’s not that Hongjoong hates Seonghwa - in fact, there’s not a lot to dislike about Park Seonghwa. Labelled the ‘Class Sweetheart’ every year, Seonghwa has always been kind to his peers, generous with sharing his school supplies, never speaks out of turn, and will generally help anyone who needs it.
He and Hongjoong have been in the same class since kindergarten, but Hongjoong’s never really paid him any mind as they both like to keep to themselves and Seonghwa is very quiet.
But Hongjoong has always thought Seonghwa’s appearance was too neat, despite the hair that covers his face, and always thought it was weird that the boy smelled faintly of strawberries.
Still, those things didn’t bother him.
The one thing that Hongjoong would say annoys him about Park Seonghwa is that he’s a crier. And it only ‘annoys’ Hongjoong because he isn’t sure what to do about it when the tears flow.
Their past teachers have said that Seonghwa just had a lot of emotions. Hongjoong’s own fathers explained that it was because he may be sensitive and so Hongjoong should be mindful of his feelings.
Seonghwa scraped his knee? Cry.
Seonghwa came to school a few minutes late? Cry.
Seonghwa wasn’t chosen to be on someone’s team? Cry.
Seonghwa’s crayons were used without asking him first? Cry.
Cry, cry, cry.
Seonghwa gives him a bug-eyed stare as Hongjoong pulls the chair out from the desk next to him.
Hongjoong doesn’t acknowledge him and instead takes out his notebook and pencil case from his bag.
The rest of the class find their own seats and start to get settled as Mrs. Lu writes equations on the blackboard in preparation for their next subject.
“Um,” Seonghwa finally utters, still staring at Hongjoong, who’s now doodling guitars and headphones on the front of his mathematics notebook.
When Seonghwa doesn’t continue, Hongjoong finally looks up at him.
“What?” Hongjoong bites out.
“Why are you sitting there?” Seonghwa asks meekly. “That’s Guwon’s seat.”
“It’s my seat now, look at the chart.” Hongjoong points to the updated seating chart hanging beside where Mrs. Lu is still writing.
Seonghwa’s big eyes snap to the chart. He blinks at it a couple of times before wordlessly taking out his own notebook and pencil.
Then he’s got his head down, notebook open, and is scribbling the current day’s date neatly on the top right of the page.
Hongjoong watches him, bewildered. “Aren’t you gonna say something else?”
The tips of Seonghwa’s ears are bright red and he doesn’t look up at Hongjoong when he replies, “about what?”
“I dunno. About me sitting here.”
Seonghwa pauses his pencil. “Mrs. Lu changed it. So I guess that’s your seat for the rest of the year.”
“Rest of the year?” Hongjoong snorts. “I don’t think so.”
Seonghwa doesn’t say anything else so neither does Hongjoong.
｡⋆˚ ღ 9 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Except it does remain his seat, beside Seonghwa, into the fourth grade.
Their fourth grade teacher, an alpha named Ms. Seo, greets her new class warmly on the first day and gestures to the seating chart drawn neatly on the blackboard.
“Your names should also be on your desks! For the first thirty minutes of class, I want you to get to know your deskmate and decorate your own name tag.”
Ms. Seo excuses herself from the room for a few moments as the class erupts into chatter. The class will usually consist of the same or familiar students, as each grade in the school has about eighty children. Sometimes they’ll get different or new faces when separating the classes.
Seonghwa opens his pristine plastic box of colouring pencils and sets it aside. He takes his name tag and begins to draw a few things on it with a pencil.
Hongjoong watches him for a moment before taking out his own pencil case. He has far fewer colours than Seonghwa, but Hongjoong prefers it this way. He likes to immediately use the colours instead of sketching it first and then colouring it in. He thinks it’s stylistic.
After five minutes of silence between them, their classmates excitedly chatting away around them, Hongjoong boredly twirls his pencil between his fingers and peers over Seonghwa’s shoulder to see what he’s drawing.
Seonghwa finally notices Hongjoong looming over him and quickly covers his nametag with his arms. His cheeks are flushed pink and his brows are furrowed with concern, but he keeps his head down. “What are you doing?”
“I dunno,” Hongjoong shrugs but doesn’t move away from the other boy. He glances at the blush dusting the apples of Seonghwa’s high cheekbones and then to what he can see of Seonghwa’s name tag between his arms. He decides to change the subject, “aren’t you gonna ask me how my summer was?”
Seonghwa lifts his gaze to look at him then. His bangs still cover most of his eyes but Hongjoong can see that they’ve widened through the strands of dark hair. His cheeks are still tinged pink when he stutters out, “h-how was your summer, Hongjoongie?”
“Hongjoong,” Hongjoong corrects and moves away from Seonghwa to push back his chair. He leans backwards without a care in the world and props his feet onto his desk, shoes right on top of his unfinished name tag. “It was fine. Just listened to music. My alpha abeoji took me to a concert. Well, not a real concert. I dunno, it was some sort of festival in the park near my house. But it was so awesome.”
Seonghwa looks at Hongjoong’s shoes on the desk with disdain. His expression is pinched unpleasantly so he tries to busy himself with decorating his name tag as they converse. “That sounds fun. What kind of music do you like?”
No one’s ever really followed up with his music interests. Hongjoong glances at Seonghwa, who’s now back to drawing on his name tag. He traces the other boy’s side profile with his eyes; from his straight bangs that flop over his forehead to the slope of his nose.
“Rock. Pop. My hyung likes a genre called R & B. I think I like that too. My omega appa likes jazz music - that’s the one with all the instruments playing. Sometimes they sing too.”
“Jazz music is nice,” Seonghwa hums in acknowledgement and looks to give Hongjoong his full attention when he realizes their continuation in conversation.
“Yeah, it makes my omega appa really happy. But you should see my alpha abeoji’s CD collection - he has tons! It’s like,” Hongjoong extends both of his arms out to the side, “this big!”
Seonghwa’s mouth parts in shock, “that has to be like, a hundred songs.”
“A thousand!” Hongjoong says proudly. “My abeoji is also teaching me how to mix music. He’s a music producer.”
“You can mix music?” Seonghwa asks in confusion, “like mixing a cake?”
“No, silly,” Hongjoong grins, “mixing music is when you mash up a bunch of sounds and stuff. To make a song. Sometimes my abeoji records me and my brother singing.”
“You can sing?”
“Eh,” Hongjoong shrugs, “I’m working on it.”
Seonghwa nods and turns back to his name tag and scribbles something hurriedly.
The slightly younger boy swings his feet off his desk to sit upright and scooches his chair closer to Seonghwa to get a better look at his now uncovered name tag.
“Do you like music too?” Hongjoong asks and reaches out to point at the music note that Seonghwa has just sketched.
“O-Oh,” Seonghwa fiddles with the corner of the paper timidly but doesn’t cover it like he did moments before. “Y-Yeah. I like ballads… Love songs… Or soundtracks with orchestras.”
Hongjoong’s never heard of that before. He’s intrigued. “What’s a ballad? Or soundtracks with orchestras?”
“Ballads are slower songs. My beta eomeoni says they’re sentimental and romantic.”
Hongjoong’s nose scrunches, “you use a lot of big words.”
“I read a lot,” Seonghwa giggles and Hongjoong feels something jerk in his chest. He shrugs it off as Seonghwa continues to speak.
“Orchestras also have a lot of instruments. And soundtracks… It’s because I like—” Seonghwa answers and turns in his seat to give Hongjoong his attention. He takes notice of how close Hongjoong is sitting and that pink flush appears again, though he doesn’t move back or away. “I really like Star Wars.”
“I know Star Wars,” Hongjoong says. “That’s the one with the jedis and the light sticks. They all have different colours or something.”
“Lightsabers,” Seonghwa explains, eyes lighting up. Hongjoong has never seen Park Seonghwa look so eager and talk so much, “my omega eomma told me that if I can read six books before my birthday, she’s going to buy me one! I really want Anakin Skywalker’s! You know, he mastered Form V—”
As Seonghwa speaks, that strawberry scent only intensifies. Hongjoong replies, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie. I just know about it.”
Seonghwa runs a hand through his bangs and for a moment; he pushes the hair up and off his forehead. It’s the first time Hongjoong has seen Seonghwa’s forehead and his big eyes without anything obstructing them.
Seonghwa’s eyes twinkle in the light as he looks at Hongjoong with excitement, and then his hair flops back over his eyes. “You should watch them! My beta eomeoni calls them exhilarating. I watch and re-watch them with her all the time!”
“Ex-ill… Exhilarating,” Hongjoong repeats the word. He’ll have to ask his fathers about it later. “Where do you watch the movies?”
“We own the DVDs!” Seonghwa responds happily. “Sometimes, I like to skip to my favourite scenes. Especially the ones where they fight.”
“Fighting is cool. Let me come watch,” Hongjoong says airily and finally moves away from Seonghwa to tuck himself back into his own desk. He starts to work on his name tag as he only has a few things haphazardly drawn on it.
Seonghwa gives him that bug eyed stare again. “You want to watch Star Wars?” A pause. “With me?”
“You said there’s fighting,” Hongjoong says. “So Star Wars is pretty cool. And I’ll let you come over to look at my alpha abeoji’s CD collection. You just have to be careful, abeoji gets mad if you scratch any of his cases.”
Seonghwa doesn’t reply right away.
Before either can say anything more, Ms. Seo comes back and announces the end of their thirty minute introductions and crafts and moves onto their first subject of the day.
Their house invites don’t come to fruition until the following summer.
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At the end of summer going into the fifth grade, Hongjoong’s alpha father contacts Seonghwa’s beta mother to set up a playdate.
“Yes, this is Kim Hajoon!” Hongjoong’s alpha father says cheerily into his cell phone as he stirs the sauce boiling over the stove. “I hope you don’t mind, my wife gave me your phone number. Yeah, I like to refer to him as my wife. You should see his reaction! He loves it.”
Hongjoong is seated at the kitchen island, busy playing around on the old ukulele that Hajoon’s music company gifted to him a few months ago. They said they ordered new ones and since Hongjoong expressed interest in learning, they wanted to donate it to him.
“That would be wonderful Hwayoung-ssi. Yes, Hongjoong is available.”
Hongjoong’s head snaps to his father. Hajoon grins at him over his shoulder.
“Perfect! And next time we can host at our place. We would love to have Seonghwa-yah over! Aw, how sweet. Yes, Hongjoong is very excited too!”
Hongjoong gives his father a deadpan look. Hajoon doesn’t notice it, his back to his son.
“A text is fine. Great! See you then.”
Hajoon ends the call and puts down his phone. Hongjoong stares at his back.
“So,” Hajoon begins. “This weekend you’re going to Seonghwa-yah’s house! Isn’t that awesome?”
“I thought you were gonna take me to your studio,” Hongjoong grumbles and plucks at the ukulele’s strings moodily.
“You’ve been there plenty of times, Hong-ah, missing this weekend won’t kill you. And apparently Seonghwa-yah said you were the one who suggested you guys hang out.”
“Like ages ago,” Hongjoong says, “at the beginning of the year or something. I don’t really wanna hang out with Seonghwa.”
Hajoon covers the pot of sauce to turn around and face his son. “Why not?”
“I dunno, he smells like strawberries.”
Hajoon raises an eyebrow. “And that’s a bad thing? Strawberries are nice.”
“I don’t like fruit. Or veggies.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Hajoon says, “I won’t argue about the veggies but you have to admit, you do like some fruits. I know for a fact that strawberries are one of them.”
Hongjoong feels his face heat up at that and he drops his head to busy himself with the ukulele strings. “He’s too… neat.”
“Yes, I’ve seen him,” Hajoon rubs his chin in thought, “he’s pristine.”
Hongjoong looks up at his father when he says that word and makes a point to roll his eyes. “And he always uses big words, just like the one you just said.”
Hajoon shakes his head, “Hongjoong-ah, there’s nothing wrong with big words. If you don’t understand something, you should ask what it means.”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“None of those words came out of my mouth and you know it.”
Hongjoong sighs heavily and slides off the kitchen stool, ukulele still in hand. “Abeoji, I’ll go. But only if you promise to show me how to split up the music files and mash them together like you promised ages ago.”
“Deal! Atta boy!” Hajoon whoops and gives his son a playful slap on the bum as Hongjoong walks past him. “Hong-ah, you’re going to have so much fun. A new friend!”
Hongjoong turns to glare at his father. “Park Seonghwa isn’t my friend.”
“In due time, my son. In due time. And who knows, you may grow to like Seonghwa!” Hajoon grins and winks at the young boy, “maybe even, you know, like- like him. He’s a cute boy. I think he’ll grow up to be very handsome.”
Hongjoong sticks his nose up and makes a show of sniffing. He exaggerates his inhales and says, “something is burning.”
The colour drains from Hajoon’s face as he whips around to his pot of sauce rapidly smoking and violently bubbling. “The dinner!” He quickly turns the stove off, but it’s too late: the pot is bubbling over.
“I’m telling appa you messed up his kitchen,” Hongjoong says snootily.
“Again with the dramatics, Hongjoong—”
The glass pot cover explodes and the fire alarm begins to beep.
Hongjoong skips away as his alpha father screams for his omega father.
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Park Seonghwa’s house is only a five minute car ride from the Kim house and it’s… Mediocre. It’s a medium-sized bungalow surrounded by well-kept landscaping and a small yet lush garden by the porch.
Both of Seonghwa’s parents, Park Hwayoung and Seolhyun, are standing on the porch waving enthusiastically at the car when it pulls into their driveway. Seonghwa is tucked behind his omega mother, Seolhyun, shyly.
“Greetings!” Hajoon shouts when he steps out from the driver side of the car.
Hongjoong rolls his eyes in the back seat at his alpha father as his omega father does the same.
“Greetings? Who says that? Say ‘hello’ like a normal person,” Yeongsu, Hongjoong’s omega father, scolds his husband as he gets out of the car as well. He smiles politely, “good morning, Hwayoung-ssi! Seolhyun-ssi!”
Hongjoong threads his head through the strap on his ukulele case and exits the car.
“Mornin’!” Hwayoung says as the family ushers the Kim family into their house.
Hongjoong avoids eye contact with Seonghwa as he and his parents take off their shoes and line them in order on the mat by the door.
The other boy is giving him that wide eyed look and his plush lips are pressed together, the corners of his mouth slightly downturned.
He looks like he’s on the verge of tears.
Crybaby, Hongjoong thinks, though he’s a bit confused by the idea of Seonghwa wanting to cry by his presence. Wasn’t Seonghwa the one who wanted him over here in the first place?
“We won’t stay long, I’m sure the kiddos want to utilize all of their time together,” Hajoon laughs boisterously.
“What does ‘utilize’ mean?” Hongjoong asks, arms crossed grumpily. He scans his surroundings.
The Park house is decently sized, nothing too big and nothing too small. The living room is directly to their right and a dining room to the left. A little further down there’s a kitchen and a separate hallway that leads to the bedrooms.
“It means to use ‘effectively’,” Seonghwa whispers from behind Seolhyun.
“Smart kid!” Hajoon claps his hands together and Yeongsu smiles warmly at Seonghwa.
“Seonghwa-yah, you should teach Hongjoong a few words,” Yeongsu says and Hongjoong glares at his omega father.
“I know plenty of words. Like… Exhilarating.” Hongjoong bites out.
“You told me Seonghwa taught you that word,” Yeongsu’s reply is quick.
“He didn’t teach me, he just said it. I was the one who asked you what it meant—”
“So you learned and that’s teaching you a new word—”
“But he didn’t explain it, so how is that teaching—”
“Kim Hongjoong, don’t you dare—”
“Oh my beautiful, fantastic wife and adorable, second born son!” Hajoon laughs awkwardly and wraps an arm around Yeongsu’s shoulders tightly and ruffles Hongjoong’s hair hard. “The two of you are so similar and I love that about both of you! But maybe not in front of our friends?”
Hwayoung and Seolhyun have forced smiles as they stare at the three Kims. Seonghwa cowers behind his omega mother, gripping the back of her skirt.
“Sweetheart, why don’t you show Hongjoong your room, hm? You said that he likes music, maybe you can show him your CD player,” Hwayoung suggests and rubs the back of her son’s neck encouragingly.
“O-Okay,” Seonghwa shuffles out from behind Seolhyun and gulps when he and Hongjoong make eye contact. “Follow me please, Hongjoongie.”
“Hongjoong,” he mutters and Yeongsu lightly slaps the back of his son’s head. Hongjoong yelps and glares at his omega father before walking towards Seonghwa.
“Seonghwa-yah is so cute and well mannered,” Hongjoong hears Yeongsu comment as Hwayoung and Seolhyun laugh at the compliment. “He should also teach my Hongjoong some manners.”
“Oh, Yeongsu-ssi, Hongjoong is a very nice boy…” Seolhyun says and then Hongjoong and Seonghwa have walked too far so he can’t hear anything else being said by their parents.
“We only have two bedrooms and Yonghyun hyung is older. So this is my room,” Seonghwa says once they enter a cozy little room. “It’s actually a sunroom, but my eomeoni and eomma refurbished it so it could become my room. Sorry, it gets really hot here during the summer.”
“Refurbished,” Hongjoong repeats the word and makes a mental note of it. “What does that mean?”
Seonghwa’s cheeks flush and he fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt, “s-sorry. I guess that’s a big word. It just means to redecorate.”
“You don’t have to say sorry for big words,” Hongjoong snorts as he walks around Seonghwa’s room. He looks at the posters of Star Wars and random, famous looking people framed onto the wall and the organized shelves of many, many books, CDs, and little knick knacks.
There’s a glass sliding door that leads into the backyard covered by heavy drapes and a small desk with several stationary items and miscellaneous figurines on top.
Seonghwa’s bed is neatly made, not a single corner of a sheet out of place. The sheets are a plain baby blue with different cartoon-like animals with big heads on them.
“You have a lot of books,” Hongjoong comments as he removes his ukulele from his back, sets it against a wall, and walks over to the bed.
“I like to read,” Seonghwa says, “fantasy and fairytales, science fiction, adventure—”
Hongjoong flops down on the bed.
Seonghwa squeals mid sentence and Hongjoong looks at him in alarm.
“What?”
“U-Um! Nothing!” the boy swiftly turns around and begins to rearrange random things on his bookshelves.
Hongjoong watches as Seonghwa busies himself with wiping down his furniture and tidying up his desk.
He continues on like that for another five minutes and by then, Hongjoong can’t take it anymore.
“Your eomeoni said you have a CD player,” Hongjoong interrupts and Seonghwa jumps in surprise, nearly dropping the figurine he was polishing.
“Yes,” Seonghwa delicately places the figurine on his desk and walks over to one of his many bookshelves. He pushes aside a few things to be able to pull out a small, silver, retro looking CD player. The boy moves to place it on the bed beside Hongjoong, but hesitates.
“What is it?” Hongjoong asks as Seonghwa seems to be frozen in place, mild disgust written all over his face. “What’s the problem, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa tenses at the mention of his name and shakes his head. He places the electronic on the bed and says, “nothing! This is my CD player. I don’t have many CDs yet, but I’m working on it.”
Hongjoong eyes Seonghwa’s rigid posture as the other boy fiddles with a few buttons on the electronic device.
He’s acting so strange. And he hasn’t sat down with Hongjoong on the bed.
Music starts to emit from the CD player’s speakers at a soft volume. Hongjoong recognizes the sounds as brass instruments and a few strings, like violins and cellos.
The slightly younger boy, despite his initial interest in the CD player, pushes it aside on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest.
“You’re being kinda weird. Why don’t you sit too? This is your room.” Hongjoong even makes a show of scooching over on the bed to emphasize the clear vacant spot beside him.
Seonghwa’s cheeks flush at being called out and his eyes dart anywhere but at his classmate sitting on his bed. “I-I’m fine. I want to stand.”
“Then I command you to,” Hongjoong says and reaches out to grab Seonghwa’s wrist. “See? I know big words too.” And then he’s yanking Seonghwa into him.
Seonghwa yelps as he’s tugged forward and he tries to stop himself from colliding into Hongjoong by sticking out his knee. It ends up on the other side of Hongjoong’s lap and they’re caught in an awkward position that doesn’t last long when Seonghwa rolls over to the side.
The boy sits up immediately and jumps off the bed as if it’s covered in scalding hot lava.
“Okay, seriously, what’s wrong with you?”
Seonghwa’s big eyes are shining. Hongjoong takes in the other boy’s trembling bottom lip and the way his cheeks are bright red. Seonghwa also has his hands clasped in front of him with one holding the other - He’s about to cry.
Hongjoong sighs heavily and hops off the bed. He starts to walk over to his ukulele which is still propped up against the wall by the door.
“A-Are you l-leaving?” Seonghwa asks, voice watery. But he doesn’t move from his spot by the bed, like he wouldn’t stop Hongjoong if he really was going to leave. “I-I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be so weird,” Hongjoong says and kneels down by his ukulele case. He turns it on its side and unzips the casing to pull out the instrument. Then he turns around and walks back over to Seonghwa’s bed.
When he moves to sit on it again, a choked sound comes out of the dark haired boy. Hongjoong stops himself and remains standing.
Hongjoong looks down at the cartoon animal printed sheets and then to Seonghwa.
“You don’t want me to sit on your bed?” Hongjoong cautiously guesses.
As usual, most of Seonghwa’s hair covers the top half of his face, but when he blinks at Hongjoong a single tear rolls down his cheek. His plush lips are beginning to swell and his nose is starting to turn red as another tear makes its way down.
Hesitantly, the boy shakes his head. “I-I mean… You can sit on it i-if… I-If you want t-to,” he sniffles.
“But you don’t want me to,” Hongjoong points out and moves away from the bed. He instead walks over to the chair tucked nicely into Seonghwa’s desk.
His free hand grips the back of the chair and then he releases it when he realizes there isn’t a second chair in Seonghwa’s room. After what just transpired with Seonghwa’s bed, he decides to ask before planting his butt anywhere, “can we sit on the floor?”
“The floor!” Seonghwa exclaims loudly and his hands fly to his mouth. Then, in a softer voice, “you can sit on my chair.”
“Where will you sit?”
“Me?” Seonghwa says in surprise.
“Yeah, I’m not gonna sit on your chair while you sit on the floor.” Hongjoong says, “don’t listen to my omega appa. I’m a very kind person and I definitely have manners.”
Despite his glistening eyes and running nose, Seonghwa’s lips quirk upwards and then he’s giggling into his clasped hands.
That jerk in his chest he felt at the beginning of the year when he and Seonghwa were decorating their name tags returns. A strange stabbing feeling. Hongjoong lifts a hand to the front of his shirt and his other hand grips the neck of his ukulele tightly.
Seonghwa doesn’t notice as he grabs a tissue from the box on his desk and dabs at his eyes and nose. When he’s finished wiping his face, he suddenly says, “insist.”
Hongjoong gulps and tries to shake that weird stabby feeling off as he looks at Seonghwa. “What?”
“Um, before… When you were sitting on my bed. You said that you ‘command’ me to sit with you. A better word is ‘insist’. I ‘insist’. It’s a nicer way of demanding.” Seonghwa explains shyly. When Hongjoong doesn’t reply, the slightly older boy starts to backtrack, “sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget it—”
“Insist,” Hongjoong repeats. “Okay, then I insist that we sit on the floor together. I’m learning a new song on the ukulele that my abeoji taught me. I can teach you too.”
“T-That would be nice.”
Hongjoong plops down and sits cross legged on the floor while Seonghwa takes a seat next to him, legs folded underneath himself as he sits on his heels.
Hongjoong fiddles with the machine heads at the headstock of the ukulele to tune it. As he twists the knobs, he asks, “what are those big headed animals on your sheets?”
Seonghwa perks up at the mention of his bed sheets. “They’re from a game called Animal Crossing. My brother has it on his GameCube but he lets me play whenever I want.”
“Sounds fun I guess,” Hongjoong says politely, though he’s not sure if that sounds fun at all. But he doesn’t want to make Seonghwa cry again or he knows his omega appa will hear of it and scold him. He instead asks his next question: “Were you scared I was gonna mess up your Animal Crossing sheets when I sat on your bed?”
“U-Um, no… It’s just…” Seongwha says quietly. “W-We’re not clean. I mean, not that you’re dirty! It’s just— You’ve been outside. And the bed is for pajamas only. After you shower.”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrow at that. He’s never given much thought about clothes being ‘dirty’ after going outside. But from the state of Seonghwa’s room, he can already gauge how much cleanliness is important to the other boy.
He seems to have taken too long to respond, because Seonghwa’s bottom lip starts to quiver again, though the boy tries to hide it by biting it.
“My hyung doesn’t understand either,” Seonghwa says and his voice is pitched again with emotion. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not,” Hongjoong says immediately even if he’s still trying to process it. “I’ll try to remember that for next time. But I don’t have a good memory, so…” He begins to pluck at a few of the ukulele strings once it’s tuned.
“Next time,” Seonghwa whispers and folds his hands neatly in his lap. He stays quiet as Hongjoong strums a chord on the ukulele and then starts to pick up a slow rhythm. Soon, the melody of an unknown song fills the room.
Seonghwa watches in awe as Hongjoong’s fingers move along the fretboard of the instrument and how his fingers alternate between plucking and strumming the ukulele.
When Hongjoong finishes, Seonghwa claps enthusiastically.
“Wow Hongjoongie, you’re really extraordinary! Amazing!” Hongjoong can see how Seonghwa’s eyes shine under the strands of dark hair. The other boy is beaming at him and all Hongjoong can smell is strawberries.
Hongjoong doesn’t correct Seonghwa on the nickname this time, and instead rubs the back of neck sheepishly as he feels his entire face heat up.
“You’re so talented, I wish I could play an instrument!” Seonghwa leans forward to inspect the ukulele in Hongjoong’s hands and Hongjoong only feels his face burn more at the close proximity, but he doesn’t move away like he usually would. “Do you know the word ‘exceptional’? You’re really exceptional!”
Hongjoong unceremoniously shoves the instrument into Seonghwa’s chest and the other boy is startled by the sudden movement, which causes him to lean back from the force of it.
“I-I said I’ll t-teach you,” Hongjoong is now the one stuttering. He subtly pinches his calf to try to calm his racing heart. “Now hold the fretboard in your left hand and you strum with your right.”
Seonghwa tries to adjust the ukulele in his hands into a more comfortable position. He and Hongjoong are the same height, but Seonghwa’s limbs seem to be a bit longer. He looks up intermittently to Hongjoong to see if he’s doing it right, and still looks at him with bright and twinkling eyes. They look a little bit like…
“Stars,” Hongjoong blurts suddenly and Seonghwa focuses his attention on him with curiosity.
“Pardon?”
“Er,” Hongjoong gulps and shakes his head. “Nothing. Let me teach you the A chord…”
Hongjoong maneuvers Seonghwa’s fingers on the fretboard to the correct positions.
Seonghwa’s face scrunches up as Hongjoong twists his fingers this way and that. “This kind of hurts.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Okay, I trust you.”
Hongjoong focuses on adjusting Seonghwa’s fingers.
They continue like that, on the floor of Seonghwa’s room, heads bent in together as Hongjoong teaches Seonghwa how to play a few chords.
Seonghwa is terrible at positioning his fingers but Hongjoong is patient with him like his own abeoji was when he was teaching Hongjoong. They lose track of time and Hongjoong finds himself enjoying showing Seonghwa how to navigate the ukulele.
A few minutes later, Seolhyun calls them for some lunch, in which Hongjoong learns that Seonghwa is a big eater at home - usually Seonghwa brings a single sandwich to school.
They don’t talk much while eating, but Hongjoong breaks the silence by mentioning that he doesn’t like vegetables. Seonghwa offers to take them and the two trade meat and veggies between their bowls, something that Hongjoong appreciates. Usually his omega father would scold him about his refusal to eat vegetables and tell Hongjoong he’d never grow tall.
After that, it’s silent again as they slurp their second helping of noodle soup.
“You know,” Seolhyun says from the sink as she washes dishes, trying to ease the boys into some sort of conversation. “Seonghwa has been into rock music lately thanks to you, Hongjoong-ah!”
“Eomma!” Seonghwa whines.
“I always hoped he’d become a pop star! Or a rock star. Doesn’t matter. He’s got a lovely voice.”
Hongjoong whips his head to Seonghwa at that. The dark haired boy has got his face in his bowl, head ducked in embarrassment. “You can sing?”
“N-No!” Seonghwa gasps and shovels some noodles into his face. He seems to recognize this as rude and lifts one of his hands to cover the noodles now hanging out of his mouth.
“Did you know that his name means ‘to become a star’? Seonghwa. I think he’s destined for it, my little star!” Seolhyun sighs wistfully.
Hongjoong stares into his noodle bowl. To become a star. Hongjoong thinks of Seonghwa’s twinkling eyes earlier.
“I can fit seven marshmallows in my mouth,” Seonghwa suddenly says to change the subject, face flushed from the attention.
“Seonghwa!” Seolhyun exclaims, though she’s got a small smile on her lips.
“No way,” Hongjoong stares at the other boy in half-awe half-disbelief, the subject of Seonghwa’s name and voice momentarily forgotten. “You mean the little ones, right?”
Seonghwa abandons his bowl in favour of scurrying to the Park’s pantry. He pulls out a plastic container of marshmallows and Hongjoong’s jaw drops when he sees that it’s the gigantic ones used for roasting over fires.
Seonghwa walks back to the table and opens the container. He reaches in and starts popping marshmallows into his mouth, one at a time.
Hongjoong counts for him. He gets to ten when both of Seonghwa’s cheeks bulge out and his mouth can’t close properly.
It’s the first time Hongjoong has seen Seonghwa look like this instead of his usual prim and proper appearance. He looks youthful, carefree, and kind of… Cute.
“That’s pretty cool,” Hongjoong comments. “But what if I…” He reaches out to poke at Seonghwa’s side.
Seonghwa swats at his hand and looks at him with wide eyes, already fearing the mischievous grin on Hongjoong’s lips.
Hongjoong begins tickling Seonghwa’s side and the slightly older boy giggles uncontrollably. He ends up spitting up the marshmallows unattractively into his half finished noodle bowl.
“Park Seonghwa!” Seolhyun squeals and rushes over to take away her son’s ruined noodles. She dumps it into the trash before washing the bowl. “Aish, these kids…”
“Sorry, that was gross—” Seonghwa wipes his mouth with a napkin, but before he can complete his apology, Hongjoong is laughing loudly.
“That was so funny, it just came right outta your mouth!” Hongjoong snorts in between laughs. Soon Seonghwa is giggling with him and when they settle down a bit, Hongjoong asks, “do you know another word for cool? How do you say… I dunno, I want to say cool, but I say cool too much. I think that fitting ten marshmallows in your mouth is cool.”
“Hmm,” Seonghwa tilts his head in thought and then snaps his fingers when it comes to him, “impressed! You’re impressed with me fitting ten marshmallows into my mouth.”
“Sure!” Hongjoong laughs again and he thinks maybe Park Seonghwa isn’t so bad.
｡⋆˚ ღ 11 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
In the sixth grade, Hongjoong is actually happy that he gets to sit next to Seonghwa for the year.
Over the summer, he had gone with his alpha father, Hajoon, to his studio to sit in on some of his father’s mixing sessions. For the first time, Hongjoong wasn’t interested in mixing and mashing the existing music, but rather asked his father to show him how to create his own.
Hajoon and his colleagues were enthusiastic in showing Hongjoong sheet music, music composition, and how to write lyrics. They even showcased all the equipment needed to record different sounds and how it would later be imported into a program to put it all together.
“The best songs are the ones that mean something to you,” Hajoon had said.
“Like what?” Hongjoong asked.
“Something based on experience,” one of Hajoon’s colleagues, Donggeun, answered. “Lost love, a fond memory, or a new friendship.”
“A new friendship,” Hongjoong pondered.
Hajoon had laughed, “I know inspiration when I see it! What are you thinking of, kiddo?”
Hongjoong instead asked, “what does inspiration mean?”
“Er,” Hajoon and Donggeun exchanged glances before Hajoon chuckled and replied, “hmm. It’s when you feel this uncontrollable urge to do something… Based on something. Does that make sense?”
“Not really,” Hongjoong said.
“Oh!” Donggeun cried out, “Hongjoong-ah, do you know the story of how your abeoji and your appa fell in love?”
“Gross,” Hongjoong stuck his tongue out and Donggeun laughed while Hajoon spluttered out, “gross?!”
“Well, you know your abeoji’s song, Love Me in February? He wrote it early in his career as a music producer.”
“Yeah.”
“That song was inspired by your appa,” Donggeun said. Hongjoong tilted his head in curiosity as the man continued, “and the love he feels for your appa. So he wanted to write a song about it. Do you understand?”
“I guess so,” Hongjoong replied, a thought already crossing his mind. “Abeoji, Donggeun-ahjussi, what do you know about stars?”
“Stars?” Donggeun was taken aback by the random subject change.
“Stars burn the brightest in the sky, right?” Hajoon said as he scratched his chin. “Why, Hong-ah? Are you interested in astronomy too?”
Hongjoong just shook his head and didn’t elaborate. Hajoon and Donggeun decided to drop the subject and carried on with showing Hongjoong some samplings of sheet music.
He and Seonghwa hung out a few times as their parents had formed a friendship of their own, and Hongjoong found himself enjoying their time spent together. They would go to the park, go out to eat, and sometimes the two families would go to the mall together.
Seonghwa indulged Hongjoong in his music interests and in turn, Hongjoong listened when Seonghwa talked about his games and movies. They both would rant about their respective older brothers and laugh about random memes they saw on the internet.
Seonghwa recommended some books for Hongjoong to read and Hongjoong recommended some songs for Seonghwa to listen to.
Towards the end of the summer, Hongjoong had a tune in his head that he couldn’t get out, and with his newfound knowledge of music composition, he decided to work on it.
And that brings them to the first day of sixth grade.
Seonghwa is as neat and proper as usual when he arrives at school and checks the seating chart. He’s surprised to see Hongjoong already sitting at his desk, scribbling something in one of his notebooks.
“I guess you’re stuck with me for another year,” Seonghwa jokes nervously as he gets settled in his seat.
“Do you remember the notes and chords I taught you?” Hongjoong says in greeting and shoves his notebook towards the other boy. “I’m writing a song.”
“You can write songs?” Seonghwa says in admiration as he peers at Hongjoong’s scribbles.
Dark lines mark the page horizontally to create bars and there are little music notes littered across them. Seonghwa points to the bold symbols at the starts of the bars and the giant numbers beside it.
“What does this mean?”
“It’s a treble clef. The higher notes. The other one is a bass clef, the lower notes.”
Seonghwa’s brows furrow.
“Think of it like this,” Hongjoong holds up both of his hands. “Treble clef is played by your right hand. Bass clef is played by your left.”
Seonghwa glances at his own hands, “um, but with the ukulele… How can you play different things with both hands? It’s just one instrument.”
“Oh, the right-hand-left-hand thing usually pertains to the piano,” Hongjoong answers.
Seonghwa’s mouth parts in shock but then his eyes crinkle with glee. “Hongjoongie, you know what the word ‘pertains’ means?”
Hongjoong feels his face flush at this. “Of course! I read those stupid books you told me to! Anyways…” The boy clears his throat and redirects Seonghwa’s attention back to the notebook. He points to the big numbers beside the clefs, “the numbers are called a ‘time signature’. It means the ‘beats’. Beats per measure.”
“Beats per measure,” Seonghwa repeats slowly. He taps at the topmost number. “So… It’s four beats?”
“Yep! And these are quarter notes. They get one beat. Like this,” Hongjoong claps his hands together four times.
Seonghwa copies him, raising his hands in front of himself. He sporadically claps his hands together and Hongjoong chuckles.
“No, Hwa, it has to be in rhythm.” Hongjoong grips Seonghwa’s wrists in his own hands and guides the slightly older boy to clap in a steady rhythm. One, two, three, four. “Like that.”
Seonghwa’s cheeks are pink and he tenses in Hongjoong’s hold. “I-I see.” The slightly older boy clears his throat and snatches his hands out of Hongjoong’s grip. “T-Thanks for showing me, Joongie!”
Hongjoong watches in bewilderment as Seonghwa starts to all but rip his notebooks out of his bag and slam them onto his desk.
He doesn’t get to ask about this sudden weird behaviour because their sixth grade teacher, an omega named Mr. Oh, asks for the class to settle down.
Over the course of the year, Hongjoong and Seonghwa grow closer, and Hongjoong starts to refer to Seonghwa as a friend.
It’s during a random recess in the spring, some time in May.
It’s a beautiful day; the birds chirp cheerily and the flowers are blooming nicely all around the school yard.
They’re both sitting on the grass under a big willow tree. Seonghwa’s nose is in a new book he started about a magical forest and Hongjoong is scribbling into his music notebook.
“What’s the book about?” Hongjoong inquires as Seonghwa turns a page.
“These two kids, Jesse and Leslie, become friends despite Leslie being the new girl. They’re both different… But they’re still friends and they build their own imaginary kingdom together.”
“Is there a happy ending?”
“I’ll let you know,” Seonghwa laughs and Hongjoong goes back to his notebook.
“What do you think of this?” Hongjoong asks and starts to hum the new bars on his notebook.
“It’s nice,” Seonghwa compliments, “but what if you added like a… Um, high note?” Seonghwa hums the same bar that Hongjoong just did but he pitches it at the end.
Hongjoong nods and begins erasing the last measure to rewrite it.
They both sit comfortably beside one another and continue their own thing.
A boy from a different class approaches them and holds out a bookmark with Animal Crossing characters on it.
“Is this yours? I found it behind the tree.”
Seonghwa glances up just as Hongjoong answers absentmindedly after peeking up at the bookmark, “yeah, that’s my friend’s bookmark.”
The reaction is instant.
Seonghwa slams his book shut and a short shriek passes his lips. He drops his book in favour of both his hands coming up to cover his mouth.
Hongjoong glances at Seonghwa before he snatches the bookmark from the boy, who’s giving them both a weird look.
“Do you need something else?” Hongjoong demands and the boy shakes his head before shuffling off.
When he’s fully gone, Hongjoong turns to Seonghwa and holds out the bookmark.
The slightly older boy still has his hands over his mouth and his knees are drawn up to his chest. His dark hair parts enough for Hongjoong to see his big, doe eyes blinking at him in anticipation.
He’s practically vibrating on the spot.
“What?” Hongjoong sighs.
“Am I your friend?” Seonghwa asks eagerly from behind his hands and his strawberry scent only amplifies.
“Well duh,” Hongjoong goes back to his notebook to appear nonchalant. What’s the big deal? “We hung out a bunch during the summer and we’ve been eating lunch together all year… And I let you look at my music. So yeah, we’re friends. You don’t want to be my friend?”
Seonghwa shakes his head vigorously, “no! I mean, yes! I mean…” Seonghwa takes a deep breath, “I’m your friend!”
“Okay, cool,” Hongjoong shrugs and goes back to his notebook.
For the rest of the recess, Hongjoong keeps his eyes on his music but intermittently steals glances at Seonghwa. The other boy is humming the tune Hongjoong is working on under his breath and is smiling at his book - Hongjoong notices that Seonghwa doesn’t turn a single page up until the bell rings.
Seonghwa excitedly tells his beta and omega mothers about how he and Hongjoong are friends now. Hwayoung and Seolhyun don’t question why they weren’t considered friends before and joyfully give their son a big hug.
Yeongsu congratulates Hongjoong on his first friend, to which Hongjoong stutters out that he has other friends besides Seonghwa. Hajoon bursts into tears and starts talking nonsense about Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s future wedding.
Hongjoong brushes his alpha father off though he randomly dreams of stars and strawberries that night.
｡⋆˚ ღ 12 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
On the first day of seventh grade and their last year in elementary school, their omega teacher, Mrs. Han, introduces a new student who just transferred to their school for the year.
His name is Lee Juyeon and he’s got stupid shiny hair and an even stupider toothy smile where his eyes disappear. The worst thing about Lee Juyeon that bruises Hongjoong’s twelve-year-old ego is that…
Over the summer, Seonghwa went through a growth spurt, officially surpassing Hongjoong in height. While he doesn’t tower over Hongjoong, he does noticeably have an inch or two on the slightly younger boy.
Yeongsu had made a comment about the lack of vegetables in Hongjoong’s diet while Hajoon tried to comfort his son about how height doesn’t mean anything. Hongjoong was still self conscious about it, especially given that they would be presenting their sub genders in the next two years or so.
Lee Juyeon is taller than Seonghwa. And Lee Juyeon is assigned his seat. Right next to Seonghwa.
What’s even more terrible is that Hongjoong is situated right behind them.
Hongjoong glares at stupidly-tall-Juyeon as he begins to take out his things from his bag and watches as Seonghwa shyly greets his new deskmate.
As Seonghwa and Juyeon converse, Hongjoong tries to occupy himself by taking out the remaining things from his bag. He slams his pencil case on the table and smirks when he sees Juyeon jump in his seat.
Hongjoong’s own deskmate, Lee Minho, taps Hongjoong on the shoulder.
Hongjoong jerks away from Minho, “what?”
“I heard that Mrs. Han doesn’t like seating friends together,” Minho says. “So you’ll never sit beside Seonghwa this year.”
Hongjoong nearly snaps his pencil in half and waves at Minho dismissively, “who said I want to sit next to Seonghwa?”
“We’ve been classmates since kindergarten,” Minho explains. “You only like to sit next to Seonghwa. I remember, in third grade, that you were really mad because Mrs. Lu put you next to Kim Dahyun.”
“I wasn’t mad,” Hongjoong protests as in front of him, Juyeon scoots his chair closer to Seonghwa. “I just didn’t want to sit next to her.”
“Doesn’t that make you mad?” Minho ponders.
“You think that not wanting something equates to being mad?”
“Huh?”
“Hey, everyone has the right to refuse something that they don’t want to do!” Hongjoong bites out, not realizing the volume of his voice is rising.
“‘Equate’... ‘Right’. ‘Refuse’?” Minho parrots, “what the heck are you talking about?”
“Ugh, don’t you know those words?” Hongjoong doesn’t intend for it to come out so harshly, but Juyeon is now leaning into Seonghwa to peer over his arm at something on Seonghwa’s desk. “Do you even read books, Minho?”
“You’re kinda mean,” Minho huffs.
“Kim Hongjoong and Lee Minho,” Mrs. Han says sternly, putting an end to their mini argument. “Do you two have something you’d like to share with the class? It must be important if you’re talking instead of paying attention to the maths problems on the board.”
Everyone has turned to look at them, including Seonghwa and stupid Juyeon.
Hongjoong’s eyes flit to the two boys in front of him. Juyeon looks at him curiously while Seonghwa peers at him worriedly, and he boldly announces: “I’m sorry, Mrs. Han. I was telling Minho that I can’t see the board. Juyeon is too tall, it’s… He’s blocking my view.” To sell his lie, Hongjoong makes a show of lifting himself up from his chair to emphasize the fact that he is, begrudgingly, shorter than Juyeon. And then, to complete his master lie, he also squints dramatically, “may I please sit a bit closer to the board? My eyes are kinda bad.”
Juyeon’s jaw drops in surprise at the accusation while Mrs. Han’s eyes widen at the reasonable claim.
“Ah,” Mrs. Han says and tilts her head in thought. “I’m sorry too, Hongjoong, I didn’t know about your eyesight and didn’t realize the height predicament. Alright, Hongjoong, why don’t you switch seats with Juyeon?”
Hongjoong tries to keep his excitement on the downlow as he collects his things in his arms and reaches down to scoop up his bag. He throws Minho a smirk as he walks past him to his new (preferred) seat beside Seonghwa and doesn’t pay Lee Juyeon any mind as they pass each other.
“Are your eyes really that bad?” Seonghwa questions in concern as Hongjoong settles into the desk that was previously occupied by Juyeon and Mrs. Han continues with the lesson. “Maybe your abeoji or appa can take you to the optometrist—”
Hongjoong doesn’t know what an optometrist is so he gives Seonghwa a shrug, “yeah, maybe. Do you want to see this eraser my appa bought for me? It looks like a piano.”
Hongjoong fishes said eraser out of his pencil case and places it on Seonghwa’s desk. As Seonghwa admires the rubber, Hongjoong takes out another one and hands it to the slightly older boy.
This one is small, black, and in the shape of Darth Vader’s helmet. It’s a bit cartoonish with its lines and detailing, but it’s a cute design and Seonghwa’s eyes light up when he sees it.
“Joongie, this is—”
“You can have it, I saw it and asked my appa to buy it for you too,” Hongjoong mumbles. For some reason, he feels a bit nervous. “Since you like Star Wars and whatever.”
Seonghwa clutches the new eraser in his hands and beams at the boy beside him. “Thank you! I-I… I really like your piano eraser too,” he compliments abashedly.
“Cool,” is Hongjoong’s reply as they try to refocus on Mrs. Han’s lesson.
Throughout the day, all Hongjoong can smell is strawberries. And if eats all of his vegetables at dinner with no fuss, that’s no one’s business, not even his surprised parents.
｡⋆˚ ღ 12 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Seonghwa doesn’t use the Darth Vader eraser. They’re halfway through seventh grade and about to change seating assignments when Hongjoong finally says something about it as the rubber sits untouched in the top right corner of Seonghwa’s desk.
The two are taking out their textbooks and notebooks within the desks as Mrs. Han writes out the new seating chart for the rest of the year on the board.
Seonghwa will be seated next to Lee Minho and Hongjoong beside Boo Seungkwan.
Hongjoong isn’t as upset about this change given that he likes Boo Seungkwan. And, despite their little tiff in the beginning of the year when they sat beside each other for thirty seconds, he’s familiar with and doesn’t care for Lee Minho sitting beside Seonghwa.
“You haven’t used my— the eraser. You haven’t used the eraser yet,” Hongjoong says and juts his chin out in the direction of said eraser on Seonghwa’s desk. His own piano eraser is half used and looks like a dog chewed on it with how much Hongjoong has scrubbed it across his music notebook and homework. “You always leave it in the corner of your desk.”
“Oh, um,” Seonghwa’s cheeks pink at Hongjoong’s words. “I’m saving it.”
“For what?” Hongjoong asks, confused. He’s never heard of someone ‘saving’ an eraser. Maybe snacks. Or your favourite part of the meal for last. But never school supplies.
Seonghwa carefully places the eraser in his pencil case and zips it up, “for a special occasion.”
“Like what?” Hongjoong wonders out loud, “a test?”
“Maybe,” Seonghwa says aloofly, all his belongings now piled neatly on top of his soon-to-be old desk. He grins at Hongjoong, though his cheeks are still flushed prettily. “Anyways, Joongie. This is it, I guess I’ll see you next year!” The slightly older boy jokes.
“You’re sitting behind me,” Hongjoong states and tosses one last loose pencil onto his mess of stuff atop his own soon-to-be old desk. While Seonghwa’s stuff is organized into piles, Hongjoong’s things look like a tornado blew it out of his desk.
“I know, but we’ve been sitting with each other for four years now,” Seonghwa says as their peers shuffle around them and everyone begins to make the switch in seats. “I thought that meant something to you,” Seonghwa teases and even sniffles for added dramatic effect.
Though he knows he’s only kidding, Seonghwa’s sniffling causes that weird stabbing feeling in Hongjoong’s chest. “Yeah, and I just give erasers to anybody,” Hongjoong grumbles. He shakes off the strange emotion as Seonghwa picks up one of his piles to move first, not hearing the slightly younger boy.
“Next month… In April. Do you want to come over?” Seonghwa asks as he shuffles over to his new desk to place his pile. Hongjoong follows after him with some of his items gripped haphazardly in his hands. “U-Um, my eomma…”
The taller boy trails off as he places his things on his new desk. Hongjoong places his own on the desk directly in front of Seonghwa’s and turns to look at his friend.
“Your eomma?”
Seonghwa looks embarrassed. His head is lowered slightly causing his dark hair to cover more of his eyes than usual, but Hongjoong can still see that pink flush on his cheeks. “Since my birthday is coming up, my eomma said you can… You can—” Seonghwa slowly looks up at Hongjoong and whispers the rest, like it’s a secret, “you can sleepover.”
Hongjoong pauses.
He’s never been to a sleepover: the few friends and acquaintances he has have never been close enough to invite him to spend the night at their houses. He has a few cousins who come over from time to time and vice versa, but it’s never crossed his mind for it to be a two day hang out.
“What do you do at a sleepover?” Hongjoong blurts, genuinely curious.
Seonghwa straightens up at this and begins to list potential activities, “we can watch movies. Eat snacks. Play games! GameCube or on the computer... I have some board games. Or read some books! If you bring your ukulele, we could work on your song.”
Hongjoong feels a little bit touched that Seonghwa would include songwriting.
“Okay,” Hongjoong agrees and then jokes, “I promise to shower and wear PJs before lying down on your bed.” Despite his claim of having a bad memory, Hongjoong clearly remembers the incident when they were ten years old when Hongjoong first came over.
Seonghwa flushes red all over again, “J-Joongie! We don’t have to— We’re not—!” The taller boy moves to separate his notebooks from his textbooks to occupy his hands as he utters out, “w-we’re not sharing the bed. I have an air mattress!”
“Oh,” is all Hongjoong says before Lee Minho slams his books down on the desk beside Seonghwa.
“You guys having a sleepover?” Minho says conversationally. “Can I come?”
“Butt out,” Hongjoong barks.
Seonghwa’s eyes widen in shock, “you want to come too, Minho?”
“It sounds fun,” Minho nods. “And it’s your birthday!”
“Who invited you?” Hongjoong bites out but Seonghwa reaches over his desk to grip the slightly younger boy’s arm in warning.
“Don’t listen to him,” Seonghwa says and gives his new deskmate a small smile. “I guess you can come too, Minho.”
“Great! Can I invite Juyeon? He’s new and still doesn’t have any friends. We could all be friends!”
“U-Um!” Seonghwa’s posture stiffens as he glances at Juyeon, who’s getting settled in his new seat beside Jeon Soyeon. “I-I mean…”
“Who said you could invite whoever you wanted? Is it your house?” Hongjoong answers instead, arms crossed over his chest. Seonghwa’s hand is still clutching his bicep over the desk and his grip tightens at Hongjoong’s words.
“It’s fine, Joongie, let’s not yell…”
“I’m not yelling,” Hongjoong pouts. “Minho’s being annoying.”
Minho sticks his tongue out at Hongjoong. “Hongjoongie’s being mean.”
“ Don’t call me that,” Hongjoong growls and Minho, not reading his body language, shrugs.
“Seonghwa calls you that.”
“It’s different.”
“No it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends and you’re so—” Hongjoong steps towards Minho. Seonghwa finally lets go of his arm and steps towards his new deskmate, hands raised in mock surrender.
“Hey! I want to be friends!” Seonghwa semi-shouts. It’s loud enough for the two boys to cease their bickering but not loud enough to catch the attention of the bustling class. “Juyeonie can come too. I-I’d love to have everybody over!”
At the mention of ‘Juyeonie’, Hongjoong stills, an ugly and indescribable feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach.
Similar yet different to the stabbing sensation in his chest, this one is more akin to an unpleasant wave of nausea that encompasses his entire being. Hongjoong has no idea what it means or what he’s feeling, and he can’t quite place a word to it. All he knows is that he’s momentarily blinded by the colour red.
Minho claps his hands together in glee. “Yay! And Hwa, I’ll bring you a super cool birthday present!”
Seonghwa gives Minho another small smile, “you don’t have to, Minho-yah.”
“I’ll tell Juyeon to bring one too! It’s gonna be so awesome!” Minho whoops and skips over to where Juyeon is still moving his things.
Hongjoong moodily turns around and goes back to his old desk to retrieve the rest of his stuff.
“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says as he follows after the shorter boy. “Is it okay if Minho and Juyeonie come too?”
“Don’t call him that,” Hongjoong snaps and regrets it the moment he whirls around and sees that Seonghwa has gone rigid.
His doe eyes gloss over and his plush bottom lips sticks out ever so slightly. Hongjoong knows what that means and sighs.
“Ugh, I feel—” He doesn’t even know what he’s feeling, so how is he supposed to apologize for it? He tries to defuse the sudden tense air with a smile instead. It comes out lopsided and fake, but it seems to work when Seonghwa’s expression twists into amusement.
“Are you trying to smile?” Seonghwa’s lips quirk into a smile of his own. “You look a bit constipated.”
“Hwa!” Hongjoong swats at his friend, “what does constipated mean?”
Mrs. Han gives everyone a two minute warning to wrap up their desk moves as she prepares the materials on the board for their next lesson.
“Nevermind,” Hongjoong answers himself, making a mental note to ask his parents what ‘constipated’ means later. “I just don’t want you to call Lee Juyeon that.”
“Juyeonie?” Seonghwa repeats as he and Hongjoong gather the rest of their things from their old desks.
“Yeah.”
“How come?”
“I dunno,” Hongjoong says honestly. Because he really doesn’t know why. He vocalizes an excuse anyway: “Because you call me Joongie. It sounds the same. I’m gonna get mixed up.” It’s a lame excuse, but Seonghwa seems to nod in agreement.
“Okay. I don’t have to call Juyeon that.”
“What if…” Hongjoong starts as they walk towards their new desks. Hongjoong slows his steps so they linger in the aisles of the desks to prevent Lee Minho from interrupting their conversation again. Speaking of Lee Minho… He had called Seonghwa ‘Hwa’ earlier. “What if we have our own nicknames? Then I won’t get confused.”
Seonghwa blinks at him, the rest of his belongings cradled tenderly in his arms. “Like what?”
“I dunno. What do you want to call me?”
“Pok-Joongie,” Seonghwa blurts and then avoids eye contact after. “M-Maybe. Or just Joongie. I won’t call anyone else that. What do you want to call me?”
“Star,” Hongjoong replies immediately.
“I’m okay with it,” Seonghwa says timidly. “Joongie.”
“Star,” Hongjoong says.
They don’t get another moment to think on the nicknames or continue the conversation as Mrs. Han begins the lesson.
｡⋆˚ ღ 12 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Hongjoong spends the entire month leading up to the sleepover bugging his parents.
He follows Hajoon to his company every single day after school to the point where Yeongsu has to ground him. In his omega father’s defense, Hongjoong wasn’t getting any of his homework done in favour of watching Hajoon and Donggeun mix and record music.
Hajoon helps Hongjoong smooth out some of the chords he’s written down in his music notebook so the melody flows better, and Donggeun provides input on places where a harmony can be added. Hongjoong expresses that he isn’t comfortable adding lyrics to his song yet, so the two men don’t push the subject.
Then, on the weekends, the twelve year old demands… No, insists for Yeongsu to take him shopping so he can buy a birthday gift for Seonghwa. Yeongsu complies, though sighs in exasperation when Hongjoong continues to shake his head at everything suggested as a potential gift for Seonghwa.
A new pencil case? No.
A set of bedsheets with cartoons on them? No.
A snack basket? No.
A graphic t-shirt with Marvel characters? No.
A deck of cards? No.
The weekend before the sleepover, the Kim family goes to a mall a little over an hour away from town in hopes that Hongjoong will finally pick something.
They’re there for a total of five hours with nothing to show for it and the Kims are ready to call it quits and go home.
“What’s the big deal?” Bumjoong, Hongjoong’s fifteen year old brother who recently presented as an alpha, says as the Kim family walks past yet another store. “It’s just Seonghwa.”
“Shut up,” Hongjoong says to his brother.
“Kim Hongjoong,” Yeongsu says in warning.
“Bum-ah, you just don’t understand young love!” Hajoon jests and ruffles Hongjoong’s hair. “It’s a beautiful thing!”
“Love?” Bumjoong tilts his head in curiosity while Hongjoong shouts, “love!”
“My Hongjoong,” Hajoon says longingly. “You’ve been so inspired lately! I’ve never seen such passion in your eyes. Don’t you think Seonghwa-yah would look gorgeous in a white tuxedo? I already have an idea of what colour your matching cummerbunds should be—”
Yeongsu elbows his husband in the ribs, “shhh. Stop teasing him with all that wedding mumbo jumbo, you’re going to scare him.”
“Wedding!” Bumjoong exclaims while Hongjoong gives his alpha father a disapproving look.
“Abeoji, I’m twelve,” the boy states simply.
“And before your appa and I know it, you’ll be twenty six or thirty one and preparing for a pup of your own! Take your time, have pups whenever you’re ready, but I’ll be a grandfather!” Hajoon beams, eyes becoming teary. “Imagine… A pup with Hongjoong-ah’s cute nose and Seonghwa-yah’s sparkling eyes, with a gift for music like my Hong-ah—”
Yeongsu grabs a hold of Hongjoong’s hand and grips Bumjoong’s shoulder to usher his children away from his daydreaming husband. “Don’t pay attention to your abeoji, you know how he likes to ramble. You kids just focus on being kids and doing your best in school for your appa, okay?”
“Okay,” both Bumjoong and Hongjoong say.
“Anyways, Hong-ah,” Yeongsu says and gestures to the giant directory of stores that they’ve approached. “We’ve been here for a while now. Do you have any idea on what you’d like to get Seonghwa-yah? If not, we’re going to leave. Maybe we can go back to the local mall tomorrow?”
“Ugh, no,” Bumjoong whines, “I don’t want to go to another mall tomorrow. Hongjoong has been going to malls every weekend! Appa, you’re supposed to take me to the park to practice my soccer goals.”
“Right, sorry Bum-ah,” Yeongsu nods. “Hong-ah, we have to buy something now, okay? Is there any store you want to go back to?”
“LegoLand,” Hongjoong responds, thinking of the figurines lined neatly on Seonghwa’s shelves.
“LegoLand it is,” Yeongsu squeezes Hongjoong’s hand affectionately and the Kim family collect the still-daydreaming-Hajoon before heading into LegoLand again.
Which is how Hongjoong arrives at the Park’s home, a wrapped (by Yeongsu) Star Wars Lego set clutched in his hands. An overnight backpack and his ukulele case is slung over each shoulder as he waves goodbye to his parents.
“Hongjoong-ah, how lovely to see you!” Hwayoung greets warmly as she steps aside to allow for Hongjoong to enter. She waves to Hajoon and Yeongsu in the car as the Kims pull out of the driveway. “Seonghwa-yah, Hongjoong is here!”
Hongjoong hears Seonghwa’s feet pad across the floor and the boy emerges from his room in an oversized, band graphic tee and basketball shorts.
“Hi Joongie,” Seonghwa says.
The long strands of his bangs are tied up into a little ponytail that sprouts atop his head and for the second time ever since that time when they were decorating name tags in the fourth grade, Hongjoong can see the entirety of Seonghwa’s face without the obstruction of his hair.
Seonghwa’s honeyed skin is blemish free. He’s slowly but surely starting to lose some baby fat in his cheeks and his jaw is starting to get more defined. His nose is long and pointed and a little bit red, and his big eyes crinkle in excitement as he gives Hongjoong a tiny smile. The neckline of the graphic tee is cut so it dips just underneath Seonghwa’s collarbones and Hongjoong has never noticed how long Seonghwa’s neck is.
Hongjoong feels like someone strapped two concrete blocks to his feet and crammed a baseball down his throat.
Seonghwa notices Hongjoong staring at him and quickly yanks the hair tie out. “Sorry, I just finished washing my face.” His bangs slowly fall back over his forehead and the taller boy continues, “eomeoni and eomma helped me set up the GameCube in my room since Yonghyun hyung is over at his friend’s house for the weekend!” Seonghwa reaches out to grip one of Hongjoong’s bag straps. “I can carry this for you.”
“Here!” Hongjoong shouts, swallowing around the uncomfortable lump in his throat to shove the wrapped present into Seonghwa’s chest. “Happy birthday, Star.”
Seonghwa grips the present in his hands and his cheeks darken to match the redness of his nose. “Thank you so much, Joongie! Should I open it now?”
“Maybe later,” Hongjoong suggests. “Are Minho and Juyeon here yet?”
“Not yet…” Seonghwa glances around before continuing, “I um… I told them to come later.”
“You did?” Hongjoong says in surprise.
“Yes…” Seonghwa unconsciously lifts the present up and lowers his head ever-so-slightly so the bottom half of his face is hidden behind the box. “I-I told my eomeoni to tell them to come after… After dinner.”
“Why?” Hongjoong asks though he can’t fight the smile threatening the corners of his lips. This only means that he and Seonghwa have the whole afternoon to themselves.
“I thought maybe… We could hang out. Just us two,” Seonghwa doesn’t meet Hongjoong’s eyes when he says it. “And you would be more comfortable working on your song if it was just us.”
That metaphorical baseball lodged in his throat comes back at full force and prevents Hongjoong from answering right away.
Seonghwa was thinking about him on his birthday.
And there’s that stabbing feeling again. It’s different this time though: while it still feels like someone is thrusting a knife into his chest, Hongjoong can also hear his heartbeat in his ears. It hammers so intensely that it makes him dizzy and his entire body tingles with another unexplainable sensation.
Hongjoong nearly falls over when Seonghwa breaks the silence to address him.
“Are you okay?” Seonghwa’s doe eyes blink worriedly at him and the taller boy fiddles with the present in his hands anxiously. “W-We don’t have to work on your song. We can do whatever you want! I just thought— I’m sorr—”
“Stop!” Hongjoong rasps out and his feet finally free themselves of the imaginary concrete blocks to be able to close the distance between him and Seonghwa. He holds both of his hands up in the air to get Seonghwa to stop mid-apology but he halts just shy of touching the taller boy. “Don’t you dare say sorry, Park Seonghwa!”
Seonghwa’s watery eyes widen but his plush lips tighten into a thin line.
“You surprised me… Star, don’t say sorry to me on your birthday.” Hongjoong sighs and tries to grin at Seonghwa despite the dizziness still clouding his mind. “We’re gonna have fun because it’s your birthday. Your day. Got it?”
Seonghwa just nods.
“Okay, let’s go to your room,” Hongjoong says as the bag and ukulele on his shoulders suddenly feels very heavy.
The slightly older boy follows him towards the sunroom that’s Seonghwa’s bedroom and before they enter, Hongjoong whips around.
“And don’t let me boss you around!” He scolds his friend, “this is your house, your birthday, and your room! Now, after you,” Hongjoong instructs and gestures for Seonghwa to go in first.
Seonghwa giggles at that and steps in.
They don’t end up doing any songwriting as Hongjoong occupies Seonghwa by feigning interest in the taller boy’s Animal Crossing town as well as a few other games on the GameCube.
The reason being that Hongjoong has finished his song. The entirety of the melody anyway. He hasn’t told Seonghwa yet as he hasn’t added any words or lyrics, so he’s hesitant to mention it.
He actually feels a bit… Shy.
Seonghwa’s mothers had bought two small bean bag chairs for Seonghwa and Hongjoong to sit on after that first hang out when they were ten years old. When they finish up playing a few chapters of the story mode in a Super Sonic game, Hongjoong encourages Seonghwa to open his gift before Lee Minho and Lee Juyeon arrive.
Seonghwa meticulously opens the wrapping paper and makes sure not to tear even one edge. Hongjoong impatiently waits and sits on his hands to prevent himself from tearing away the wrapping paper himself.
The strawberry scent is overwhelming and that dizziness starts to creep up again when Seonghwa finally sheds the Lego box of its wrapping.
“The Millennium Falcon!!!” Seonghwa screams in delight and then ducks his head in embarrassment when he realizes the increase of volume of his voice. “Thank you, Joongie, thank you thank you thank you!”
The taller boy squirms in his bean bag chair. Hongjoong eyes him curiously.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“I…” Seonghwa trails off and sets the box of lego aside. “C-Can I… Can I hug you?”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.
Hug?
Hongjoong isn’t that affectionate with his own family; Yeongsu will hold his hand from time to time or put an arm around his shoulder, and Hajoon loves to pat him on the back and ruffle his hair, but hugs aren’t a commonality in the Kim household. In fact, Hongjoong prefers it that way.
But the thought of hugging Seonghwa doesn’t sound too bad. That tingling sensation arises and Hongjoong’s fingers twitch in anticipation.
“Er,” Hongjoong rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “I, uh…”
Usually Seonghwa is timid and backs down, especially after hesitation or no response, but the taller boy boldly shifts from his seated position on the bean bag chair to his knees in front of Hongjoong.
Hongjoong feels his entire face heat up and his fists clench in his lap.
“It’s okay, Joongie,” Seongwha assures softly and lifts a hand.
Hongjoong doesn’t mean to, but he flinches and shrinks in on himself thinking Seonghwa is going for the hug.
The slightly older boy doesn’t hug him. Instead, Seonghwa gently touches the back of Hongjoong’s clenched fists.
His fingers are long, slender, and a little bit cold when they brush the skin on the back of Hongjoong’s hand. It’s fleeting and over in two seconds before Seonghwa pulls away and smiles fondly.
“Thank you again, Hongjoong-ah, this is the best birthday ever,” Seonghwa whispers to him and then he’s situating himself back on his own bean bag chair.
Hongjoong’s mouth hangs open, part in confusion and part in… Disappointment? “I thought you were gonna—”
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, Joongie.”
Hongjoong isn’t able to dwell on it further when a knock sounds on Seonghwa’s door and Hwayoung is poking her head in.
“Seonghwa-yah, your friends are here! Do you want to come out for cake?”
“Sure, eomeoni!” Seonghwa sings happily and moves to stand. He skips over to the door and beckons for Hongjoong to follow. “Come on, let’s eat cake!”
Hongjoong can only do as told as his head is swimming in all sorts of thoughts.
The sleepover with Lee Minho and Lee Juyeon turns out to be… Fun.
Seonghwa’s GameCube games are more engaging with four players and the four boys joke easily with one another about random internet memes.
Hongjoong grows to like Lee Minho when he finds that their personalities are quite similar: they’re both straight forward, not afraid to speak their minds, and Lee Minho is very passionate about dance, something Hongjoong can respect in parallel with his own passion for music.
This does mean they end up clashing and bickering a lot but are quick to make amends when Seonghwa mediates and Juyeon keeps the ball rolling with conversation and activities.
Lee Juyeon turns out to be more similar to Seonghwa given that he’s more soft spoken and a little naive, but Hongjoong (begrudgingly) warms up to him when Juyeon inquires about Hongjoong’s songwriting. They find out that Juyeon can speak English and suggests to Hongjoong to incorporate some English lyrics to his songs since that’s all the craze with music nowadays.
Many snacks, sugary drinks, and two movies later, they take turns showering and brushing their teeth.
Hwayoung and Seolhyun arrange the two air mattresses in Seonghwa’s room: one on the side of his bed and the other at the foot of his bed. It’s a tight fit and the two women talk to the boys about the slight dilemma when they’ve all finished cleaning up.
“Someone will have to double up,” Hwayoung says and she and Seolhyun apologize to the boys before closing the door behind them.
The air mattresses are only the size of a single bed while Seonghwa’s own is the biggest as it’s a twin.
Minho is already lounging on one of the air mattresses as he had showered first and Seonghwa is sitting on his bed. The two look to Hongjoong and Juyeon who are standing by the door.
“I don’t mind sharing—” Juyeon starts as Seonghwa says, “someone can share with me.”
“Hwa and Juyeon can share,” Minho reiterates and reclines back on his own air mattress.
Hongjoong should be happy - he doesn’t even like sharing a bed with his own brother when his family goes on vacation. Except that ugly, indescribable feeling and wave of nausea creeps up and Hongjoong grits his teeth in disapproval.
Seonghwa shifts on his bed to one side and motions for Juyeon to join him.
Hongjoong beats the boy to it and flops down beside a flabbergasted Seonghwa.
“I’ll share with Seonghwa,” Hongjoong announces, “we’ve known each other the longest.”
Juyeon’s wide eyes look to the two and then to the empty air mattress at the foot of the bed. “Oh… Okay.”
“Can we watch another movie?” Minho asks and Hongjoong is actually grateful for the subject change. It only means that they won’t further question his insistence on sharing the bed with Seonghwa.
Seonghwa sets up another movie on the television and settles under the covers while Hongjoong remains seated on top of the duvet. Seonghwa is positioned right at the edge of one side to ensure that not even their pajamas touch.
Hongjoong’s skin feels hot and itchy.
They’re halfway through the movie and both Minho and Juyeon are passed out on their respective mattresses, snoring softly.
Seonghwa peers over the side of his bed and then at the foot of the bed to check if both boys are really asleep. When he turns around, Hongjoong is still sitting cross legged on top of his duvet, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.
“Are you sleepy too, Joongie?” Seonghwa whispers as he reaches for the television remote. He switches off the television and turns on the lamp on his desk. A dim, orange glow emits from it. “I can get you another blanket if you don’t want to share.”
Hongjoong shakes his head and Seonghwa crawls back into the bed, still putting as much space as possible between them.
The dim light illuminates Seonghwa’s features nicely. Hongjoong’s heart is pounding and his palms are clammy as he looks at his friend.
The slightly older boy pulls the covers over himself and motions of Hongjoong to do the same.
They get settled on their sides, facing each other.
Hongjoong doesn’t know how he’ll be able to sleep tonight. He thinks of his ukulele that’s somewhere in Seonghwa’s room and his completed melody. “I… I finished my song.”
Seonghwa’s eyes light up, “you did? That’s so amazing! Will you play it for me?”
“Maybe…”
“Tomorrow?” He sounds hopeful.
Hongjoong is riddled with doubt. “Maybe. I think I still have to change some things… There are parts I want to have a harmony… And I don’t have any words… Yet.”
“Do you want some help?”
Hongjoong thinks about it. But then he stares into Seonghwa’s big, twinkling eyes and realizes he’d much rather write his own lyrics as Hajoon’s words about ‘love’ and ‘inspiration’ float around in his brain.
Seonghwa blinks at him and then the word ‘wedding’ pops up.
Hongjoong gulps. ‘Inspiration’ would be the very boy lying down in front of him.
“It’s okay,” Hongjoong finally responds. “I’ll play it for you after I add lyrics.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” Seonghwa says.
They lie in silence.
“Thanks for coming over, Joongie,” Seonghwa whispers into the sliver of space between them and he smiles softly at Hongjoong.
He returns Seonghwa’s smile, albeit shakily, “happy birthday, Star.”
｡⋆˚ ღ 13 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
When they enter the eighth grade and their first day of middle school, Hongjoong has a little bit of a crisis. Or, ‘conflicting and confusing feelings’. He is only thirteen years old after all, and Hajoon keeps telling him that he’s too young to have crises.
The crisis at hand is: Seonghwa cut his hair.
Seonghwa is shy and deflects all compliments when Hongjoong, Minho, and Juyeon see him in the yard before they head into the school after the first bell rings.
“It looks awesome!” Minho says and reaches to touch Seonghwa’s bangs.
His hair is a lot shorter at the sides and his bangs don’t flop over his eyes. Instead, they sweep to one side to showcase Seonghwa’s face in its entirety and make him look more mature.
Hongjoong cannot stop staring at him. And cue the stabbing feeling. At this point, this feeling has occurred way too many times and Hongjoong can no longer brush it off and ignore it.
“Thanks, Minho,” Seonghwa is quick to gesture to the school. “Let’s go in or we’ll be late.”
The four friends file into their new classroom without any issue. The seating assignment is tacked onto the board with their new teacher’s name, Mr. Lee, scribbled on top.
“Hey, Joongie,” Seonghwa calls out to Hongjoong as they shuffle towards the board to get a closer look at where they’ll be sitting.
Hongjoong grunts to let Seonghwa know he’s listening, but doesn’t look at him.
“My hair is okay, right?”
At that Hongjoong does look at Seonghwa. The taller boy has his chin tilted down abashedly and his hand grips his bag strap so hard his knuckles are starting to turn white. His eyes are wide with honest vulnerability and his eyebrows knit together in distress.
Seonghwa pats at his hair, moving it left to right and then right to left.
He repeats this action again and when Hongjoong still doesn’t respond, he sighs, “I knew it, I should’ve told my eomeoni not to bring me to the hairdresser…”
“Minho already said you look awesome,” Hongjoong cuts in as the students in front of them excitedly rush to their seats. The next few students step up to inspect the seating chart.
“Yeah… But…” Seonghwa glances around before bending his head down to whisper closer to Hongjoong.
Hongjoong hates that he has to do that. He hates their height difference.
“I-I want to know what you think.”
Hongjoong gulps and lifts his gaze to inspect Seonghwa again.
He’s blushing, and with this haircut Hongjoong can see all of his features: the long slope of his nose, his doe eyes, his plush lips. Hongjoong is a little bit afraid of the word he wants to use to describe Seonghwa that’s sitting on the tip of his tongue.
Beautiful.
Hongjoong bites his tongue and shrugs instead, “yeah, it looks fine. Don’t worry so much, Hwa.”
“Okay,” Seonghwa nods, though he looks like he wants to ask another question. But Hongjoong is already sauntering towards his seat.
Hongjoong is seated beside Jeon Soyeon. He actually didn’t really pay attention to whose name was written beside his and scowls when he sees her scribbling something into her notebook, already comfortable in her seat.
Jeon Soyeon has long, black hair all the way past her bum and sharp nails.
“Ugh,” Hongjoong groans as he pulls out his chair.
“Is there a problem, Hongjoong-ah?” Soyeon says without sparing Hongjoong a glance, still writing furiously in her notebook.
“Maybe,” is Hongjoong’s answer as he scoots his chair as far as possible from Soyeon’s.
At the sound of his chair legs scraping against the floor, Soyeon looks up from her notebook and snickers. “What? Do you still believe in cooties or something? Newsflash, we’re teenagers now.”
“Who asked you?” Hongjoong snorts and starts to take out his own notebooks and pencil case.
When he places his music notebook on the desk, the cover littered with scrawls of notes and drawings of instruments, Soyeon immediately taps on it with the back of her pen.
“You write music?”
Hongjoong pauses but is determined to keep up his facade of distaste. He moves the notebook away from Soyeon, “you’re nosy.”
Soyeon rolls her eyes and pushes her own notebook towards Hongjoong.
Blue ink swirls across her page in all sorts of directions. There are words on the lines of the page but there are also random phrases and doodles that cut diagonally, vertically, and even upside down.
Each sentence and phrase is fairly short with some of the ending words rhyming with each other.
Hongjoong is intrigued and already has an idea of what this is when he cranes his neck to get a better look. Before he can fully read or comprehend anything, Soyeon snatches the notebook away.
“ I write music,” Soyeon states proudly.
Hongjoong’s lips actually quirk into a smile, “you do? Are you any good?”
Instead of taking offense, Soyeon grins at him. “I’ll show you. If you show me.”
Now this is interesting. Hongjoong readjusts his chair so it’s closer to Soyeon, fingers playing with the cover of his own notebook as he smirks at her. “Deal, Jeon.”
As they continue to converse, Hongjoong doesn’t notice Seonghwa staring at the back of his head.
｡⋆˚ ღ 13 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
“Hyung, have you ever been stabbed before?”
“What the fuck, Hong-ah?”
The Kim brothers are in their living room on a Saturday night; Yeongsu is out with friends and Hajoon is at a company dinner. Bumjoong is researching something on the communal computer for one of his assignments and Hongjoong is lying down on his back on the couch, playing the old acoustic guitar Hajoon’s colleagues, once again, donated to him.
“I’m telling appa you said ‘fuck’.”
Bumjoong rolls his eyes, “you just said it too.”
“Yeah, but you’re setting a bad example for your impressionable younger brother.”
“I hate that Seonghwa-yah has helped you with your vocabulary.”
Hongjoong plays a cool riff.
“Anyways, little bro, tell your hyung what’s troubling you,” Bumjoong says and stands from the desk to stretch his arms over his head. He turns around to look at Hongjoong while rolling his neck from side to side. “Why do you want to know about stabbing? Do I need to be concerned?”
“Nah,” Hongjoong answers as he continues to pluck at the guitar strings. He doesn’t elaborate right away and instead starts to play a melody.
It’s sombre and a little sad, a soft tune strung together as Hongjoong moves his fingers to different chord positions.
After a few minutes of Bumjoong stretching while Hongjoong plays his melody, the older Kim brother finally sits down on Hongjoong’s legs on the couch.
“Hey!” Hongjoong exclaims and pulls his feet out from under his brother’s butt.
Bumjoong ignores his shout and turns to him. “Hong-ah, what’s up?”
Hongjoong makes a face at his brother, “nothing.”
“Not nothing,” Bumjoong reaches over and grips the head of the guitar and yanks it out of Hongjoong’s clutch. The younger boy yelps in protest but Bumjoong is already placing it carefully on the other side of the couch, out of his reach. “You’ve been acting kind of weird lately.”
“No I haven’t.”
“Yes, you have.”
“Prove it.”
“God, Hongjoong, you’re so… You make me so mad sometimes!”
“Would you say ‘insufferable’?” Hongjoong snarks.
Bumjoong throws his hands in the air and stands in exasperation. “You’re fucking annoying. I just noticed you seemed to be a little off lately and then suddenly you’re asking me about stabbing people. I’m trying to help you! Earth to Hongjoong, you can receive help, you know. I’m your fucking brother.”
Hongjoong stares at Bumjoong and takes in his serious expression and tense posture. He contemplates opening up to Bumjoong, but his brain tells him not to. He’s never been one to discuss or talk about his feelings, but he knows it might help as that weird feeling around Seonghwa has been more frequent.
He remembers Seonghwa’s haircut and how he told himself the feeling was now impossible to ignore.
Hongjoong sighs. “Okay, fine. You got me. There is something…”
Bumjoong immediately relaxes and sits down on the couch again. He leans into Hongjoong’s space, to which the younger boy leans back. “Tell your hyung!”
“I am! Calm down, jeez.” Hongjoong swings his legs over so he can plant his feet on the ground. “It’s about Seonghwa.”
“Of course, your only friend—”
“I have other friends!”
“There’s no time to list your two friends, Hong-ah, let’s get back on track. What about Seonghwa?”
Hongjoong hesitates again and the base of his neck heats up in unease. He twirls his thumbs in his lap and thinks about bailing on this conversation.
In his prolonged silence, Bumjoong’s expression turns grim. “Oh God, you don’t want to stab Seonghwa-yah, do you?!”
Hongjoong looks at his brother in alarm. “What? No!”
Bumjoong sighs in relief. “Okay. So it’s about Seonghwa. And stabbing. But the two are… Unrelated? Hopefully?”
“Well, not exactly…” Hongjoong takes a deep breath and ignores his mind’s protests to stop talking. He needs to let it out and he needs to know. “Something happened. Or, it’s been happening.”
Bumjoong hums in acknowledgement.
“I guess it’s me. I’ve been feeling really weird. The first time it happened… It was in fourth grade. I was decorating my name tag and Seonghwa laughed.”
Bumjoong stares at Hongjoong and waits patiently. When the younger boy doesn’t continue, the older Kim brother prompts him, “and then…?”
Hongjoong remembers that feeling as clear as day but he doesn’t know how to describe it. “When he laughed… I dunno, it was kinda like someone punched my chest.”
Bumjoong tilts his head in thought and says, “okay?”
“And then in the summer, I went to his house for the first time… And that same feeling happened. Except it wasn’t a punch, it was like…”
“You were being stabbed?” Bumjoong finishes.
Hongjoong nods, warming up to the conversation, “yes! And it just kept happening after that. Usually when Seonghwa laughs or cries… One time, I felt kinda dizzy, like I was gonna faint or something.” Hongjoong pauses. “And then this other weird feeling happened with it. Last year.”
“On top of the stabbing?”
“Yeah. Seonghwa called Lee Juyeon ‘Juyeonie’. But he just transferred to the school! How can you be so friendly with someone you don’t know? And he calls me ‘Joongie’. Don’t you think that sounds similar?”
Bumjoong tries to reel the conversation back, “the feeling, Hong-ah, what was the feeling—”
“When he said ‘Juyeonie’, I started sweating. Not a lot! But a little. I felt really uncomfy and like someone was squeezing me really tight.” Hongjoong holds up his hand and clenches it in a fist. His knuckles turn white and a few veins start to pop, “like this! And then… And then I saw the colour red for like, one second.”
Bumjoong doesn’t interrupt and lets Hongjoong ramble.
“And that same feeling, like someone was squeezing me too tight, happened at Seonghwa’s birthday sleepover… When Lee Juyeon was about to share the bed with him. But then I got confused because that stabbing feeling took over again when I shared the bed with Seonghwa.”
“You shared the bed with Seonghwa?” Bumjoong says in surprise. Hongjoong glares at his brother and Bumjoong shakes his head, “sorry, go on.”
“And there’s one more,” Hongjoong says, “Seonghwa got a haircut. You can see his face now… And… I dunno. When I looked at him it felt like someone was trying to force me to eat a baseball.”
Bumjoong takes a moment to process Hongjoong’s words.
“I think I’m dying,” Hongjoong concludes.
“Hongjoong-ah,” Bumjoong chuckles, “you’re thirteen, you’re not dying.”
“Then what?”
“Er, I don’t think you’ll like this answer, but…” Bumjoong scratches his cheek sheepishly. “That squeezing feeling? That’s jealousy. And the stabbing feeling? I think you’re in love.”
“Love!” Hongjoong exclaims and nearly throws himself off the arm of the couch in panic.
“Did someone say love?!” A voice says in excitement from the entryway and then Hajoon, dressed in a stained dress shirt and slacks, scurries to his sons on the couch. He tosses his suit jacket to the side carelessly and crouches in front of Hongjoong, grinning from ear to ear, “Hong-ah, is this about Seonghwa-yah?!”
“Abeoji!” Hongjoong groans but doesn’t deny.
“I thought you were at a dinner,” Bumjoong says and tries to get his alpha father’s attention on him.
“I had to leave early,” Hajoon replies and gestures to the giant red stain on the front of his shirt. “I spilled wine.”
“Alcohol is gross,” Hongjoong says flatly.
“How would you know? You’ve never— Nevermind.” Hajoon shakes his head and grabs Hongjoong’s hands. “My Hong-ah, your first love! This is so exciting, I can’t wait to tell your appa and your halmeoni! Goodness, I have to tell Donggeun and the guys at the company, and order those cummerbunds—”
“Abeoji!” Hongjoong groans louder and sinks into the couch in an attempt to put as much space between him and Hajoon as possible. When he tries to wretch his hands out of his alpha father’s grip, the man just squeezes tighter.
“Abeoji, you should go shower,” Bumjoong suggests and reaches over to push his alpha father back and away from Hongjoong. “If you don’t get some cold water on that spill quickly, it’ll stain.”
“It’s okay, Bum-ah—”
“I’ll tell appa,” Bumjoong rushes out and Hajoon’s head droops in defeat.
“Alright, alright,” Hajoon stands and drops Hongjoong’s hands. “But we’re going to talk about this later! You have to tell me everything, Hong-ah!”
And then he’s skipping up the stairs, whistling an upbeat tune that suspiciously sounds like Hongjoong’s own melody.
Hongjoong and Bumjoong watch their alpha father disappear upstairs and then look at each other. Hongjoong is still squished into the couch cushions.
They both burst out laughing.
“He’s crazy,” Hongjoong snorts and sits up.
“Well… I guess that makes us crazy too,” Bumjoong chuckles.
“Hyung,” Hongjoong says as they both stand up.
Bumjoong reaches over his side of the couch to pick up Hongjoong’s guitar. He holds it out to the younger boy, “yeah?”
Hongjoong accepts the guitar and stares at it for a moment, mind swirling with all sorts of thoughts. One word comes to the forefront among the jumbled mess within his brain.
Love.
“If… If it is…” Hongjoong whispers the next word, “love…” The thirteen year old swallows thickly, “what do I do?”
Bumjoong ponders this for a moment before giving his brother a smile, “well, Hong-ah… What do you want to do?”
“I…” Hongjoong’s grip on the fretboard of the guitar tightens. The strings dig painfully into his fingers, but in a way, is nothing compared to the feelings he just described to his brother. “I dunno. Should I… Should I stop being friends with Seonghwa?”
“What?” Bumjoong’s eyebrows shoot up and his forehead wrinkles with worry, “no! Absolutely not. Do not do that.”
“But I’m uncomfy,” Hongjoong states and his free hand comes up to clutch at his chest. “The feeling… It’s uncomfy. It hurts sometimes. I get dizzy.” Hongjoong sighs, “I’m all over the place.”
He doesn’t want to stop being friends with Seonghwa. Seonghwa is caring and kind and shows Hongjoong genuine interest in his life, hobbies, and music. But Hongjoong is confused, his bodily functions are behaving abnormally, and he’s still convinced that he’s dying.
“I think you're uncomfortable because you didn't know what the feeling was, and your feelings may be amplified because of puberty, hormones, and the fact that you're presenting soon…”
Hongjoong expression twists unpleasantly at the mention of ‘puberty’ so Bumjoong says quickly, “anyways, Hong-ah, that’s love! And love… Love is easy.”
“Love is easy…” Hongjoong repeats.
“Yes! And you should… Confess.”
“Confess?”
Bumjoong glances at the guitar in Hongjoong’s hand, “Hong-ah, let’s take it slowly. Why don’t you tell Seonghwa that you…” Bumjoong taps his chin in thought and then snaps his fingers. “That you like him! You go to school on Monday, you look him dead in the eyes, and you say: “Seonghwa-yah, I like you.” Simple, no confusion here! As I said, love is easy!”
“Love is easy,” Hongjoong mumbles again.
Bumjoong gives Hongjoong’s shoulders an encouraging pat. “There you go, Hong-ah! The flowers will bloom, the birds will sing, and everything will be perfect!”
“Sounds like those fairytales Seonghwa reads.”
“Your own little fairytale,” Bumjoong grins. “And I’m sure Seonghwa-yah will be your friend no matter what.”
Hongjoong nods slowly. He looks down at the guitar in his hands and then gives his brother a small, sincere smile. “Thank you, Bum hyung. I need to go.”
“What? Go where?” Bumjoong asks, bewildered, as Hongjoong dashes to the stairs. “Hey! Don’t you want to hang out for the rest of the night? I finished my assignment!”
“No, I’m inspired!” Hongjoong yells as he ascends the steps, two at a time. He’s careful not to bang the body of the guitar on the steps in his rush. “I need to write it down!”
Hajoon, towelling his hair, flattens himself against the wall when his youngest son races past him. “Whoa! Hong-ah, what are you—”
“Love is easy!” Hongjoong screams and slams his bedroom door shut.
“ATTA BOY!” Hajoon whoops in joy.
｡⋆˚ ღ 13 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Hongjoong doesn’t confess to Seonghwa on the Monday. Or the Monday after, or the Monday after that, or the week after, the month after, and soon, they’re halfway through eighth grade with Hongjoong stewing in his feelings and nothing said.
Now that he understands what that feeling is around Seonghwa, the teen finds it easier to suppress them. RE: Nothing has been said.
And because Hongjoong hasn’t ‘confessed’ to Seonghwa, he finds himself avoiding being alone with the taller boy. His heart beats erratically at the sight of Seonghwa’s plush lips and high cheekbones, or his starry eyes and his haircut, to the point where sometimes Hongjoong thinks he might throw up.
He stops hanging out at Seonghwa’s house and only goes when Minho and Juyeon also go.
Any moment Seonghwa catches Hongjoong alone, the slightly younger boy keeps conversation short and seeks out their other friends.
Hongjoong grows close to Soyeon instead. He has to admit, Soyeon does help Hongjoong get over his previous distaste for girls. Or maybe that’s just self growth.
The two bond over their mutual love and passion for writing music. Hongjoong has only begun to dive into lyricism as he was focused more on the instrumentals and composition, while Soyeon only seemed to focus on the words and flow of the songs.
Together, they help each other write and compose. Soyeon assists in re-writing the first few lyrics of Hongjoong’s song that he had written after his conversation with Bumjoong.
-
Today, I’m laughing the clouds away
I hear what the flowers say
And drink every drop of rain
-
“How can you laugh clouds away?” Hongjoong had asked sarcastically.
“Don’t you pay attention when Mrs. Kim teaches metaphors?” Soyeon countered.
“If flowers could talk, what would they even say?” Hongjoong said, just to be annoying.
Soyeon rolled her eyes, “you tell me, Hongjoong-ah.”
Hongjoong had glanced at Seonghwa, who was helping Boo Seungkwan with the work they were assigned.
The morning light that streamed in from the windows illuminated Seonghwa’s face and brightened his dark hair. It made his eyelashes look longer and his lips more rosy.
Freshly bloomed flowers with vibrant colours would look nice in Seonghwa’s hair, Hongjoong thought. Maybe the flowers would yearn to spread their beauty. Maybe they would request an equally exquisite specimen to showcase that beauty.
Seonghwa glanced up and their eyes met. The slightly older boy smiled at Hongjoong.
Ah.
He knew exactly what the flowers would say.
“Hongjoong?” Soyeon said and Hongjoong blinked dumbly at her.
“Let’s take a break,” Hongjoong had replied and the two went back to their own assignments for the rest of the class.
He spends recesses with Seonghwa, Minho, and Juyeon as normal, and eventually they integrate Soyeon into their circle.
During lunch, Hongjoong and Soyeon sit at their own respective desks while Minho pulls up a chair in front of Soyeon, Juyeon sits in front of Hongjoong, and Seonghwa is a bit squished on the side of Hongjoong’s desk between the two teens.
“I think I’ll be an alpha,” Minho says. “My omega eomma says my scent is getting stronger. Oak wood or something. And my alpha abeoji says any of us could present next year.”
“Next year!” Juyeon says in disbelief.
“You?” Soyeon snickers into her thermos at Minho. “I don’t think so. Your scent is way off. Not oak whatever… It’s sweeter.”
“How would you know?” Minho counters.
“I have a nose for these things,” Soyeon answers and raises her head confidently. “You smell like wood, but you also smell like…” She leans over the desk to sniff at Minho. “Vanilla.”
“No I don’t!” Minho protests and shoulders Juyeon beside him. “Juyeon-ah, what do I smell like?”
“Oh… I’m not very good at this,” Juyeon says abashedly but he takes a sniff of Minho’s hair anyway. “A little like vanilla.”
Minho scoffs and turns back to Soyeon. “Then what do you think?”
“Omega, but you could be a beta too,” Soyeon says. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“What do you think you’d be?” Hongjoong asks around a mouthful of fried rice.
“An alpha,” Soyeon announces, puffing her chest out slightly. “My alpha eomeoni says I’m a natural leader and I have drive… Whatever that means. My scent is citrus.”
Hongjoong casually leans over to take a sniff of the air around her. He’s careful not to lean in too much as he doesn’t want to be in her personal space. “Huh. I guess you smell like a lemon. Lemons are sour, like you.”
“Hey!” Soyeon swats at Hongjoong and the teen leans back, laughing. “Citrus as in orange, not lemons!”
Juyeon meekly speaks next. “What about me, Soyeon-ah?”
Soyeon leans over again to sniff, “you smell like the sea… Like sea salt. I think… Maybe a beta? You could present as an alpha though.”
“And me? Tell me I smell like a forest or some other mumbo jumbo,” Hongjoong teases and Soyeon rolls her eyes but leans into him anyway.
She leans in close, so close that her nose briefly brushes against Hongjoong’s cheek.
Hongjoong startles at the contact and jumps in his seat, to which Soyeon slaps a hand on his bicep.
“Sit still! I can’t pinpoint it…” Soyeon inhales.
Hongjoong feels his ears burn at the close proximity, “hurry up—”
“Probably a beta. You do kinda smell like a forest,” Soyeon admits and Hongjoong rolls his eyes - predictable. “A little bit like jasmine tea, too. My beta appa loves jasmine tea.”
Seonghwa makes a garbled noise into his sandwich and the four friends turn to look at him.
“S-Sorry,” the teen apologizes and hides the lower half of his face behind a hand as he chews the rest of his mouthful.
“What about Hwa-yah?” Minho pipes up and he and Juyeon focus their attention back on Soyeon. “What does he smell like?”
Hongjoong answers before Soyeon can, “strawberries.”
Seonghwa perks up and looks at Hongjoong with big eyes, “I do?” Hongjoong doesn’t meet his eyes and shovels rice into his mouth.
“Seonghwa-yah is very kindhearted,” Soyeon says, nodding in agreement with Hongjoong’s response about strawberries, “I want to say an omega. But I don’t really know what you’d present as… Whatever it is, you’ll be a great appa or abeoji!”
Seonghwa gives Soyeon a timid smile behind his sandwich and only gives her eye contact with a quick glance, “thanks, Soyeon-ah. I-I… I want at least six pups. If I can carry them… That would be nice.”
“Six!” Soyeon exclaims while Minho cries out, “your body!”
Juyeon gives Seonghwa a reassuring pat on the elbow, “imagine if you had all six pups at once… You’d look like a balloon!”
Seonghwa giggles at that. “I’d be so big… I think I’d be able to eat my omega eomma’s entire pantry.”
Hongjoong feels light headed. His vision blurs for a moment at the mention of ‘Seonghwa’ and ‘pregnant’ and ‘pups’ all within the span of one minute.
That stabbing feeling comes back, except this time it simultaneously feels like his heart jumps into his throat. An uncomfortable warmth spreads within his stomach and he feels his entire body flush hot.
“Imagine… A pup with Hongjoong-ah’s cute nose and Seonghwa-yah’s sparkling eyes,” Hajoon’s voice unhelpfully sounds in his head.
Hongjoong arm accidentally shoots out and he knocks his uncapped juice bottle over. The liquid spills onto his pants and the teen jumps up from his seat. “I have to go clean my pants!” He practically shouts.
His friends hurriedly pile their napkins on the juice spill on the desk as Soyeon picks up the bottle.
“Do you need help?” Seonghwa asks but he doesn’t wait for Hongjoong’s answer as he’s already trailing after the shorter boy out of the classroom.
“No, Seonghwa, I don’t need your help,” Hongjoong replies, walking faster than his friend towards the bathroom. He keeps his head ducked slightly, though he’s sure Seonghwa can probably see how red his ears are.
Seonghwa doesn’t listen and instead follows Hongjoong right into the bathroom.
Once they’re in the bathroom, only the two of them, Hongjoong turns around to tell Seonghwa to leave.
“I said I don’t need—” Hongjoong starts as Seonghwa utters out, “did I do something wrong?”
Hongjoong’s mouth snaps shut.
Seonghwa’s eyes are shiny and his bottom lip sticks out slightly. His hands are clasped together in front of his chest as he pulls at his fingers nervously.
Hongjoong knows what this means and what could potentially happen within the next few moments.
“What?” Hongjoong says dumbly, partly because he’s confused as to why Seonghwa would be upset and partly because his pants are wet with juice.
“Lately you’ve been… We haven’t been…” Seonghwa inhales slowly before he continues, voice firm despite his watery eyes, “you’ve been avoiding me.”
“No I haven’t,” is Hongjoong’s automatic reply. He knows he has been, but he didn’t think it was that obvious.
“You don’t come over, you don’t spend time with me, you don’t share your music,” Seonghwa says and points an accusatory finger at Hongjoong, “you won’t even look at me!”
Okay, maybe it was obvious.
“Seonghwa—”
“You don’t even call me ‘Star’ anymore,” Seonghwa cuts in. “What did I do wrong?”
Hongjoong has seen Seonghwa cry many times. Hongjoong has seen Seonghwa on the verge of tears many times.
But Hongjoong has never seen Seonghwa this disconcerted. Despite Seonghwa’s glassy eyes, his voice doesn’t waver as he speaks, tone laced with frustration.
“Seonghwa, I—”
“I can fix it, just tell me what it is!” Seonghwa pleads. “I’m not a songwriter like Soyeon-ah…” He says this bitterly and then shakes his head as if to snap himself out of it before more words tumble out of his mouth, “or passionate about the performing arts like Minho-yah, and I don’t speak any English like Juyeon-ah. But I’m a good listener, right? And I’m smart! So I’ll listen to you play, I’m open to all kinds of music, and because I like reading I can help you rhyme words—”
“Seonghwa-yah,” Hongjoong says weakly and Seonghwa’s words immediately die in his throat.
The taller boy sniffles but the tears don’t fall. His brows are knitted together in discontent as he waits for Hongjoong to continue.
“I just…” His voice cracks at the end and he coughs, embarrassed. “I, um…” He still can’t bring himself to look Seonghwa in the eye and can’t bring himself to admit it.
Bumjoong’s voice suddenly sounds in Hongjoong’s brain: “Seonghwa-yah, I like you.”
Hongjoong’s hands fly to his hair in vexation. Is he really about to say that to his friend in the bathroom?
“Do you like Soyeon-ah?” Seonghwa whispers the question, like he didn’t want to ask it.
“What!” Hongjoong can’t help but shout and his gaze finally meets Seonghwa’s.
The slightly older boy looks distressed, hands once again clasped tightly in front of his chest.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because!” Seonghwa’s hands unclasp to list things on his fingers, “you’re always with her now. You sit beside her, you share your music with her, you let her get close to you, and I saw you walk home with her last week!”
“We didn’t walk home, we went to the park and I left her there!”
“Likely story!”
“It’s the truth!”
“You’re always together—”
“I can’t control where I sit—”
“I know you’re private about who sees and listens to your music. And it used to be me but now you’ve replaced me—”
“Seonghwa-yah—”
“We’re supposed to be friends, Hongjoong-ah, but you don’t feel like one—”
“I like you,” Hongjoong blurts and then instantly wants to punch himself in the face.
They’re in the boys’ bathroom with all of four stalls, four urinals and a rusty communal sink. The hand dryer is slightly tilted on the wall from a few students accidentally knocking into it when roughhousing in the bathroom. He can’t be confessing his feelings in this setting.
Seonghwa is stunned. His mouth is parted in shock and his eyes are the widest Hongjoong has ever seen them.
And then the strawberry scent hits and makes everything so much worse.
“What?”
“As a friend,” Hongjoong clarifies to try to save face. “You didn't do anything wrong, Hwa. I still like you as a friend. Always.”
Seonghwa visibly deflates at Hongjoong’s words, but he doesn’t look as frustrated as he was mere moments ago.
“I’m just… Going through something,” Hongjoong half lies. “At home. Nothing to do with you.” Full lie.
Seonghwa’s eyes soften though his gaze has a hint of sadness as he looks down at Hongjoong.
Hongjoong doesn’t know why Seonghwa would be sad at his reassurance, but he doesn’t dwell on it so long as Seonghwa doesn’t inquire further about his almost-confession.
The shorter boy hesitates. He swallows his doubt momentarily and reaches out to brush his index finger along the back of Seonghwa’s hand.
Seonghwa startles at the touch but doesn’t move away.
The touch is fleeting and reminiscent of the way Seonghwa touched his hand at the sleepover a year ago.
Hongjoong then tries to grin brightly at Seonghwa, “don’t worry so much… Star.”
At the nickname, Seonghwa sniffles and gives Hongjoong a small smile. He doesn’t show any teeth but his cheeks dimple slightly where the corners of his lips pull up.
He’s so infuriatingly beautiful that Hongjoong has a strong desire to lay on the dirty bathroom floor. Maybe that will snap him out of it and finally regulate his heartbeat.
“Okay, Joongie. I’m sorry for confronting you like this.” Seonghwa says.
Even when he’s upset, Seonghwa is still the one apologizing and thinking of Hongjoong first.
“Do you need help cleaning up?”
That has Hongjoong flushing red all over again. He can’t bear to imagine Seonghwa anywhere near his lower body. “No, I’m fine. I’ll see you guys outside for recess.”
Seonghwa nods and exits the bathroom without another word.
Hongjoong slumps against the wall and lets out the biggest sigh of his thirteen year old life.
｡⋆˚ ღ 14 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
For the rest of eighth grade and leading into the ninth grade, Hongjoong finds a way to somewhat normalize his behaviour around Seonghwa.
After the ‘bathroom confrontation’, Hongjoong, now more comfortable with discussing his feelings for Seonghwa with Bumjoong, asked his older brother for advice on how to further suppress his emotions.
Bumjoong had looked at Hongjoong like he had grown three heads.
“What happened to confessing? Hong-ah, this won’t end well—”
“Hyung, I’m…” Hongjoong said honestly and glanced at Bumjoong’s closed bedroom door. Their alpha father could be listening on the other side… You never know with Hajoon. Then, in a whisper, “I’m just not ready.”
Bumjoong nodded and gave Hongjoong three suggestions.
One. Treat Seonghwa as usual and soon things will start to feel like any regular day. Adapt to the feelings.
Two. Slowly show Seonghwa more affection to eventually build up the courage to confess.
Three. Whenever Hongjoong felt that stabby feeling, that squeezing feeling, or that ‘blinded by red’ feeling, write it down to vent.
All three culminated in Bumjoong encouraging Hongjoong to confess to Seonghwa, to which the younger boy reiterated that he wasn’t ready.
Hongjoong opted to do all three suggestions: He would treat Seonghwa as normal while trying to be slightly more affectionate, continue to suppress those weird feelings, and then write down his true thoughts in his music notebook as the feelings do fuel his inspiration.
And so, a month into the ninth grade and their last year of middle school, Hongjoong has the first three lines Soyeon helped him write with an additional three lines of his song written messily in his music notebook.
-
And I see places that I have been
In ways that I've never seen
My side of the grass is green
-
The lunch bell rings just as Hongjoong writes the word ‘green’. He taps the back of his pen against the page and contemplates it for a moment before nodding and closing the notebook.
Hongjoong gathers the rest of his belongings and carelessly thrusts them into his desk to clear it. He stands and stretches his arms over his head as he glances around the classroom for his friends.
Minho, Juyeon, and Soyeon are nowhere to be seen. Seonghwa stands at the back of the classroom rummaging around his backpack for something.
“Hey,” Hongjoong says in greeting and startles when Seonghwa looks up at him with big eyes and a worried expression. “What's wrong, Star?”
“I think I forgot my lunch,” Seonghwa says in distress as he continues to frantically push things around in his bag.
When the taller boy moves to turn his backpack upside down, Hongjoong reaches out and grips his wrist to prevent the action.
“You can have mine,” Hongjoong offers.
“No!” Seonghwa shakes his head, “don’t worry about it, Joongie, I—”
“I didn't eat my breakfast today,” Hongjoong lies, knowing Seonghwa would never take his lunch if he knew he didn’t have anything else. “So I packed it. I'll eat that. And you can have the fried rice my appa made.”
“Um!” Seonghwa slowly starts to zip up his bag as he eyes Hongjoong with uncertainty. “Are you sure? I can buy something from the vending machines.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Hongjoong says and reaches into his own backpack to pull out the thermos he carelessly tossed into his bag in the morning. He holds the cylindrical container out to Seonghwa, who hesitates in taking it.
“Thank you, Joongie,” Seonghwa whispers and gives Hongjoong a timid smile.
Hongjoong feels warmth blossom in his chest, but ignores it and jokes instead, “you never forget your lunch. Something wrong with you?”
Seonghwa rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. His cheeks are slightly pink, the blush just visible up close. Hongjoong takes a small step back from his friend, enough to allow him some proper breathing room but not enough that it’s a noticeable movement. “I don’t know, I guess I just forgot.”
Hongjoong doesn’t joke further because their friends rush back into the classroom.
“Guys! Juyeon broke the vending machine!” Minho’s giggles interrupt the two, followed by an amused Soyeon and an embarrassed Juyeon.
“I didn’t! I really didn’t!” Juyeon protests, face beet red. Soyeon and Minho are too busy holding in their laughter so Juyeon turns to Seonghwa and says sadly, “Hwa, the machine ate my dollar!”
“Really?” Seonghwa’s eyes bug out as he seems to be the only one taking Juyeon seriously. “That’s horrible, Juyeon-ah! Let’s go to the administration office and maybe they can reimburse you?”
“Reimburse?” Soyeon’s head tilts in mild confusion while Minho snickers.
“It’s a fancy word for ‘repay’, like ‘give back’,” Hongjoong answers as Juyeon beams at Seonghwa.
“You think they can do that? I just wanted the new strawberry milk they stocked in the machine, since my beta appa said that the grocer nearby hasn’t gotten it in stock yet, and—”
Seonghwa loops an arm through Juyeon’s and guides the other teen to the exit of the classroom, nodding as Juyeon rambles about how good flavoured milk is.
“Let’s eat,” Minho claps happily and saunters to where Hongjoong’s desk is.
The three friends get settled. Hongjoong opts to work on his mathematics workbook while his friends take out their lunches, considering he didn’t do anything academic related during class in favour of writing his song.
“Where’s your lunch?” Soyeon asks when Hongjoong tosses his workbook onto his desk.
“I forgot it at home,” Hongjoong responds immediately but then gives his friends a tight lipped frown, “but don’t tell Seonghwa that.”
“Huh?” Minho raises an eyebrow, “why not?”
Hongjoong scrubs a hand over his face in regret. He should’ve said he wasn’t hungry. There’s no point in lying further…
“I didn’t forget my lunch. But Seonghwa did, so I gave him mine. If he asks, I’m not hungry. Got it?”
Minho and Soyeon take in Hongjoong’s expression and then look at each other for a moment.
“Okay?” The two friends agree after a pause.
“Hwa’s been forgetting a lot of stuff lately,” Minho ponders. “Since we started the ninth grade. On the first day of school he forgot his uniform tie.”
“He did?” Soyeon says in surprise.
“Yeah, and then a couple weeks ago he forgot his whole pencil case.”
Hongjoong clicks his tongue. He didn’t know that. He did notice that Seonghwa has been a little bit spacey every now and then, but the taller boy assured him that it was lack of sleep from starting his homework late in the evening.
“Is he okay?” Soyeon asks in concern.
Minho shrugs, “I asked him. He said he was fine. Tired or something.”
“Is something going on at home?” When Soyeon asks this, both friends look at Hongjoong expectantly.
Hongjoong makes a face at them, “what?”
“What’s going on with Seonghwa?” Soyeon urges.
“I don’t know?” Hongjoong answers honestly. He hasn’t been over at the Park house in a while, not for a couple of months. “Star— Hwa told me the same thing. He’s just tired.”
“Hmm,” Soyeon hums, “maybe he’s feeling a bit stressed about high school entrance exams?”
“Oh! Do you know what high school you’re applying to?” Minho is eager to change the subject.
At the mention of high school, an uncomfortable weight settles at the pit of Hongjoong’s stomach.
“My alpha eomeoni wants me to apply to an all-girls high school,” Soyeon says. “I’m still thinking about it. I was also thinking about Seoul Arts High School.”
“Me too!” Minho says, “or the School of Performing Arts.”
And then the two look at Hongjoong.
Hongjoong shakes his head, “I dunno yet. Haven’t thought about it.”
He really hadn’t given much thought to it, but the reality that they all might go to different schools next year hits Hongjoong like a brick. Hongjoong was getting used to his friends, his classmates, and the staff during elementary and middle school. He was comfortable.
His next thought is, what high school is Seonghwa thinking about?
The teen frowns.
What if he and Seonghwa end up going to different schools?
They’ve been in the same class since junior kindergarten.
“What did administration say?” Minho’s voice brings Hongjoong back into the conversation as Seonghwa and Juyeon walk towards them.
“At first Secretary Kim wanted to look into it more but then Principal Yu saw Hwa and gave me the dollar back! No more questions asked!”
“Well duh, that’s the Class Sweetheart for you,” Minho grins.
Seonghwa smiles, “shush. No one calls me that.”
“Everyone calls you that. I only came two years ago, but everyone tells me about it,” Juyeon affirms.
Juyeon and Seonghwa pull up nearby chairs to get seated and pull out their lunches.
As expected, Seonghwa frowns at Hongjoong’s lack of food and the workbook on his desk. “Joong-ah, aren’t you eating?”
Hongjoong throws a quick glance in Soyeon and Minho’s direction before answering, “I ate it already.”
“He, uh, he did!” Soyeon backs him up while Minho just nods.
“And now I have to catch up on my math,” Hongjoong taps the workbook with his pencil.
Seonghwa eyes him skeptically as he clutches Hongjoong’s thermos in his hands. He looks like he wants to say something else when Soyeon beats him to it.
“Since Minho-yah’s birthday passed… Last but not least, is Hongjoong’s!” Soyeon says gleefully, “you’ll soon be welcomed into the fourteen-year-old club.”
His friends clap to tease him and Hongjoong rolls his eyes, but can’t fight the smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Thanks. Now, before you ask me: I don’t want anything, don’t bother. And no, you can’t come over. Yes, we can go to the arcade or the movies or something, but no, you cannot pay for me.”
Minho groans, “ugh! You say that every year, Hongjoong-ah. We’ve been to the arcade a million times and there aren’t any good movies out right now. What if we go camping?”
“Camping?” Seonghwa repeats with interest. “I’ve never been camping before.”
“My parents probably won’t let me go with you guys, since you know, you’re all guys,” Soyeon explains. “Unless I can bring one of my friends? Seo Soojin?”
“That’s fine, I like Soojin,” Minho agrees while both Juyeon and Seonghwa nod.
Hongjoong scoffs, “whoa, whose birthday is it? We’re not going camping and Soojin isn’t a part of this—”
“Camping is going to be so awesome,” Minho whoops. “It’ll be like Seonghwa’s sleepover, but outdoors!”
“Do we have to bathe in a lake?” Juyeon asks.
“They should have showers,” Seonghwa says. “ A bathhouse or something.”
“But I don’t think our parents will let us go by ourselves,” Soyeon points out. “Yes we’re fourteen, but they’d never let us.”
The four friends then turn their heads expectantly to Hongjoong.
Hongjoong sighs, “guys! We’re not going camping! I’m not asking my parents either. Didn’t you hear me? The arcade or the movies. I’m not doing anything other than that, okay?!”
｡⋆˚ ღ 14 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
“This is bullshit,” Hongjoong grumbles and shoves his duffle bag into the trunk of the van noisily. “Who goes camping in November?”
“Language, Hong-ah,” Hajoon warns. “It’ll be fun! You never do anything for your birthday.”
“You’re such a Negative Nancy,” Bumjoong says as tosses his own duffle bag into the trunk.
“Who in the hell is Nancy,” Hongjoong hisses.
“It’s just an expression. Come on, let’s eat a late lunch before Hongjoong’s friends start arriving,” Hajoon says and ushers his sons back into the house.
Yeongsu makes them sandwiches that they finish up just as the doorbell rings. Hongjoong pokes his head out from the kitchen entryway with the remainder of his sandwich in one hand and watches as his omega father answers the door.
“Hello, Mr. Kim!” Seonghwa happily greets. He’s wearing a light windbreaker, a scarf, gloves, and carries a single knapsack. His nose is slightly red from the wind chill but otherwise doesn’t indicate that he’s cold. “Sorry for arriving early, my eomeoni and eomma are meeting their friends in the area.”
“That’s alright, Seonghwa-yah! Your eomma texted me earlier to let me know. And you’re always welcome here at any time,” Yeongsu says warmly and steps aside to allow for Seonghwa to enter.
Hongjoong is about to call out to Seonghwa as his friend takes off his shoes in the entryway, but the words get trapped in his throat when Yeongsu sniffs the air around the teen.
“Forgive me if it’s personal, Seonghwa-yah, but your scent…” Yeongsu watches as Seonghwa straightens up after lining his shoes neatly on the shoe rack by the door. “It’s a bit stronger. And… Sweeter.”
Seonghwa tucks his chin into his scarf so the lower half of his face is hidden in the fabric as his cheeks turn bright pink, “o-oh… Um… Mr. Kim, I—”
Yeongsu reaches out to place his hands on Seonghwa’s shoulders and the teen snaps his mouth shut. “I understand. I have something that may help you for the weekend… Only if you want to.”
The man gives Seonghwa a comforting smile and the teen returns it gratefully. “It’s alright, Mr. Kim, thank you! My eomeoni and eomma gave me something… B-But I guess I need to reapply it.”
“Please don’t be embarrassed!” Yeongsu looks around the house and Hongjoong swiftly ducks back into the kitchen to avoid being seen.
He’s completely crushed the sandwich in his hand from gripping so hard and his heart pounds against his ribcage. He doesn’t know why he feels like he’s sneaking around or why he’s eavesdropping on this conversation in the first place.
“It’s a natural part of your journey into adulthood,” Yeongsu says, voice lowered in pitch after he’s checked his surroundings. Hongjoong scooches to the very edge of the entryway to remain hidden while also straining to hear. “I’m just surprised that you’re presenting so early. But that’s amazing, Seonghwa-yah, I’m so happy for you! I’m sure Seolhyun-ssi has assured you, but you know you can always ask me anything, right?”
Presenting! Hongjoong gulps. Seonghwa being spacey… Forgetful… Tired all the time…
“Yes, Mr. Kim, thank you... I hope to someday be an exceptional wife, like you!” There’s a pause, and then Seonghwa apologizes shyly, “I’m sorry, I heard Mr. Kim call you his wife. I thought it was sweet…”
Yeongsu coos, “not at all, Seonghwa-yah! Your future mate will be lucky to have you by their side.”
Hongjoong’s heart skips a beat at these words. And then Yeongsu is continuing.
“You’re so cute, I would love to have you as a part of our family…” Yeongsu laughs, “maybe, years down the road… Perhaps… My Hongjoong—”
Hongjoong shoves the sad remnants of his sandwich into his mouth before dashing out from the kitchen. “Hey, Star! I’m almost done—”
“Hongjoong, it’s rude to talk with food in your mouth,” Yeongsu says sternly as Seonghwa giggles behind a gloved hand.
Hongjoong rolls his eyes at his omega father and makes a show of swallowing the mouthful. He opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out at Yeongsu. “Done.”
Yeongsu doesn’t seem fazed at all and reaches out to pinch Hongjoong’s exposed tongue.
The teen yelps in surprise and his hands fly up to cover his mouth. “Appa!”
“Young men mind their manners,” Yeongsu says in a saccharine tone. “Right, Seonghwa-yah?”
Seonghwa gives Hongjoong a rueful look, “M-Mr. Kim, Joongie is very courteous—”
“Don’t defend him,” Yeongsu waves a hand dismissively and Hongjoong squawks. “Hong-ah, go wash your dish while Seonghwa-yah uses the washroom.”
“I did wash my dish!” Hongjoong protests, “the one on the table is abeoji’s, he ran off when he finished—”
“Okay okay, I’m sorry, Hong-ah, let’s clean it together then,” Yeongsu shushes and grips his son’s shoulders. He steers Hongjoong towards the kitchen, “your Star will join you later.”
“ Appa! ” Hongjoong groans but lets his omega father push him into the kitchen.
When Seonghwa finishes up in the bathroom, the two teens only have a few minutes before the rest of their friend group arrives.
Hongjoong wants to ask Seonghwa about his conversation with Yeongsu earlier, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up without admitting to eavesdropping.
Bumjoong is the one to initiate the conversation when he passes by the two teens on their way to Honjoong’s room.
“Hello, Bumjoong hyung,” Seonghwa says politely.
“Ah! Hello, Seonghwa-yah,” Bumjoong returns and not-so-subtly gives the younger boy a once over, “you seem… Different.”
Seonghwa blinks at him and his posture stiffens. “O-Oh, I don’t— I mean, I’m the same! Exactly the same.”
Bumjoong hums and leans into Seonghwa to sniff his neck. His nose is close to brushing against the skin of the younger teen and he only gets one whiff before Hongjoong is yanking his brother away from his friend.
He’s blinded by red for a moment but snaps out of it and lets go of Bumjoong’s shirt as quickly as he gripped it. “Personal space,” Hongjoong growls out.
Bumjoong lifts hands to show Hongjoong he means no harm and gives Seonghwa an apologetic smile, “sorry, Seonghwa-yah. I didn’t mean to invade your personal space, I was just curious.”
“T-That’s okay, hyung!” Seonghwa blurts, “I… I don’t mind!”
At that Bumjoong grins mischievously and briefly glances at Hongjoong. He lifts an arm to wrap around Seonghwa’s shoulders, “you’re so sweet, Hwa-yah—”
Before his arm can come in contact with the younger teen, Hongjoong applies a swift kick to his brother’s shin.
Bumjoong howls in pain and he crouches over to hold his affected leg, “what the fuck, Hongjoong?!”
“If you make Seonghwa uncomfortable again, I’ll aim higher,” is Hongjoong’s unapologetic reply before he grabs Seonghwa’s wrist and pulls him the rest of the way into his room.
“I’m telling appa,” Bumjoong says.
“Go ahead, I’ll tell him you said ‘fuck’,” Hongjoong sticks his tongue out at his brother and slams the door shut.
Once the door is closed, Seonghwa leans his back against it, posture still stiff and his hands clasped in front of him. Hongjoong rests a hand against the door above the taller teen’s shoulder and uses his free hand to pinch his nose bridge.
“Sorry, he’s annoying,” Hongjoong says. “Are you okay?”
“I’m alright, Joongie,” Seonghwa says softly.
“What hyung said about you seeming ‘different’…” Hongjoong looks up at his friend and the question dies in his throat.
It’s only then that he notices how close they are with Seonghwa pressed against his door and Hongjoong caging him in with his arm. Their chests don’t touch as Seonghwa’s clasped hands provide a barrier but their knees knock into each other when Seonghwa shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
They don’t say anything else but they don’t move either.
The worst (or best?) part is that they don’t break eye contact.
Seonghwa’s eyes are wide and round as he blinks down at Hongjoong. There’s a pink flush spread prettily across his cheekbones and he’s biting his bottom lip nervously.
Hongjoong is reminded of their accursed height difference but his heart hammering against his chest is a good distraction. He feels the entirety of his face burn with unease and desire as his gaze flits to where Seonghwa’s teeth are digging into his lip.
Seonghwa mirrors this action when his eyes lower to Hongjoong’s mouth.
The scent of strawberries permeates in the air and for the first time, Hongjoong embraces it and inhales deeply.
His ears are ringing and the collar of his crew neck sweater suddenly seems too tight. He doesn’t even realize he’s slowly raising himself on his tiptoes.
Seonghwa’s eyes flutter closed and his teeth release his bottom lip, his mouth now parted in anticipation. His knuckles are white from how hard he’s clasping his hands as Hongjoong leans in closer.
The strawberry scent feels like it’s wrapping itself around Hongjoong and pulling him in. He’s hit with a sudden flash of heat, the most intense he’s ever felt, when Seonghwa lets out a faint whimper.
The doorbell rings.
The shorter boy headbutts the underside of Seonghwa’s chin and Seonghwa’s hands shoot out and smack him square in the chest.
Hongjoong scrambles backwards and away from Seonghwa, head swimming and overwhelmed with the scent of strawberries.
“Hong-ah, your friends are here!” Yeongsu’s shout is slightly muffled by Hongjoong’s closed door.
“We should go!” Hongjoong yells as Seonghwa screams, “I need to go to the bathroom!”
The two teens don’t waste another second as Seonghwa whirls around to rip open the door. And then he’s darting through it to lock himself in the bathroom as Hongjoong grips the front of his sweater where his heart is beating erratically, threatening to pop out of his chest.
“Hong-ah?” Yeongsu’s voice sounds again and Hongjoong slaps his cheeks hard before scurrying down the stairs.
“H-Hey guys!” Hongjoong greets robotically from the base of the steps.
Minho and Juyeon wave back.
“Soyeon-ah said her parents are driving her and Soojin to the camping site,” Minho says and then pauses to look at Hongjoong. “Why are you all red?”
“M-Me? Red?” Hongjoong stutters out, though he knows it’s true. His entire body still feels like it’s on fire.
“Boys, why don’t we pack your bags in our van, hm?” Yeongsu suggests and ushers the two teens right back out of the door. “We should leave soon.”
“But Mr. Kim—” Minho begins to say but Yeongsu is all but shoving him and Juyeon through the door frame.
“We’re losing daylight, Minho-yah!” Yeongsu’s fading voice exclaims as the omega closes the door behind him and the teens.
Hongjoong lifts his hands to cup his cheeks. They’re burning hot and he feels a bead of sweat drip down his temple. He starts to fan himself with his hands when a voice booms next to him.
“I heard your friends arrive!” Hajoon smacks a hand on his son’s shoulder. “We should head out soon, we’re losing daylight!”
“Yeah, sure,” Hongjoong mumbles and shrugs his father’s hand off in favour of going to the closet to retrieve his coat.
It’s not a terribly long drive to the campsite, just a little bit over three hours.
Yeongsu drives while Hajoon navigates him in the passenger seat. Minho and Juyeon occupy the middle row with their heads bent together, both fast asleep.
Hongjoong and Seonghwa sit beside each other in the very back seat with Bumjoong, whose head leans against the glass window in slumber. Bumjoong accidentally knees Hongjoong’s leg and Hongjoong scoots a bit closer to Seonghwa.
They don’t say anything to each other, can’t even make eye contact, but Hongjoong wordlessly offers Seonghwa one of his earphones connected to his iPod.
An hour into the drive, an upbeat, playful instrumental song comes on and the beginning chords of a ukulele filters through the earphones.
A wave of panic washes over Hongjoong as he fumbles with his iPod to click to the next song. It’s his own song, the one he’s been working on since he was eleven years old - he’s been recording it in Hajoon’s studio every time he updates it and uploads all versions to his iPod to help him eventually add the lyrics.
The song he still hasn’t played for Seonghwa besides the beginnings of it when they were in sixth grade.
He’s about to change it when Seonghwa places a hand over his, preventing him from pressing the ‘next’ button.
“I really like this song,” Seonghwa whispers. His doe eyes are filled with sincerity as they make eye contact for the first time during the car ride. “It sounds really familiar… What is it?”
Hongjoong’s throat constricts. He coughs into his other hand before answering, “it— uh, it’s just some song I found on the internet.”
“I love it,” Seonghwa says and then stares out the window, head nodding slightly to the tune. He doesn’t remove his hand from where it’s resting lightly on top of Hongjoong’s.
Hongjoong takes a moment to watch the trees fly by through the window behind Seonghwa’s head. Then his eyes gravitate to Seonghwa’s face and, as usual, his lips.
The ukulele of the song continues to play and Hongjoong’s mind fills with lyrics, the warmth of Seonghwa’s hand a comforting gesture.
-
Oh, I can’t believe that it’s so simple
It feels so natural to me
-
When they arrive at the campsite, it’s a little past five o’clock and Soyeon, her parents, and Soojin are already waiting for them at the booked lot.
Soyeon’s alpha eomeoni and beta appa exchange pleasantries with Hongjoong’s parents with the promise of taking care of the girls for the weekend, even if it’s only one night and a partial day.
After Soyeon’s parents leave, the teens start to set up their tents while Yeongsu unloads the rest of the supplies from the van and Hajoon and Bumjoong figure out the bonfire pit for warmth and to start roasting hot dogs.
“Soojin and I are sharing, obviously,” Soyeon says as she jams a peg into the ground. “What about you guys?
“Juyeonie and I will probably share since Joong-ah gets pissy about sharing Hwa-yah with anybody,” Minho responds easily.
Hongjoong, from where he’s crouched trying to push his own peg into the ground, accidentally sticks it into Seonghwa’s foot where the taller boy is untangling the tent. “What?!”
“Ouch! Joongie!” Seonghwa yelps and hops away from the crouching teenager. Hongjoong didn’t stick it hard enough to penetrate or cause any serious damage, but Seonghwa frowns at the dull pain.
“Sorry, Hwa,” Hongjoong murmurs and pats Seonghwa’s boot before snapping at Minho, “I don’t get pissy.”
“Okay. Then I want to share my tent with Seonghwa,” Minho declares. “We’re gonna talk all night and cuddle in my sleeping bag—”
“Absolutely not,” Hongjoong barks and then blushes at all the attention on him. “Ugh! It’s my birthday and I’m going to share it with my best friend. I hate all of you anyway.”
“See? Pissy,” Minho laughs as Soyeon and Soojin giggle.
The rest of the evening is actually… Very enjoyable. Despite his initial protest, Hongjoong, like his friends, had never been camping before so everything is new and exciting.
They play a short game of tag through the forest and go fishing in the lake. Due to the cold, they don’t catch much and the few fish they do wrangle are released back into the lake immediately.
Hajoon suggests the teenagers explore the rest of the campsite while he and Yeongsu cook the hotdogs and prepare the buns and condiments.
The boys follow Soyeon and Soojin when they express interest in collecting some leaves before the winter fully begins.
Minho tells Seonghwa to spot him while he climbs a big maple tree.
Juyeon brings them back to the lake to teach them how to skip rocks.
Then the six teenagers sit in a circle to attempt to start a fire using two damp twigs they find on the floor.
Hongjoong’s the one vigorously rubbing the sticks together when Seonghwa utters out disapprovingly, “I don’t think that’s right.”
“Yeah, Joong-ah, you have to prop it on the ground like this.” Minho takes the twigs from Hongjoong’s hands and sticks one into the ground and starts rubbing the other stick against it.
“I think the twigs are too wet.” Juyeon says. “Don’t they have to be dry?”
“Maybe they have to be bigger,” Soojin chimes in.
“That’s how they do it in the movies,” Soyeon says.
“Guys, dinnertime!” Bumjoong announces from behind their little circle. “Also, that isn’t how you start a fire.”
They arrive back to their lot to prepared hotdogs courtesy of Hajoon and Yeongsu.
By the time they finish eating, the sun has completely disappeared and the moon is high in the evening sky.
They start to roast marshmallows over the bonfire and instruct each other on what the ‘right way’ to make smores is. It starts some arguments on how burnt a marshmallow should be, but Hongjoong defuses the situation by suddenly saying, “Hwa can fit ten of these in his mouth.”
“There's no way,” Minho laughs. “Is your mouth that big?”
“My mouth isn't big!” Seonghwa frowns. “Joongie, why did you say that!”
Hongjoong snickers, “sorry, I just remembered when you did it when we were ten years old.”
“That's so random,” Juyeon giggles.
“You said you had a bad memory,” Seonghwa pouts.
Soojin and Soyeon chuckle at the playful banter when Soyeon exclaims, “look! Stars!”
Everybody follows her pointed finger to the sky and sure enough, there are twinkling spots of light littered across the dark atmosphere.
“Wow,” they gasp as they admire them.
Hongjoong is captivated.
The stars all differ in size, they all have their own unique brightness to them, and they all look stunning against the pitch black background of the sky. It reminds him of eyes; big, sparkling eyes, filled with comfort and honesty and then the last word floats into his brain…
-
If this is love, love is easy
It’s the easiest thing to do
-
Love.
Hongjoong tears his gaze away from the sky to look next to him, where Seonghwa is peering up in astonishment.
His pink lips are parted in awe and the stars reflect in his deep brown orbs while the orange light from the fire only accentuates the view.
Hongjoong is content with staring until Seonghwa blinks and meets his gaze, face flushed from the embers of the fire.
“Joongie,” Seonghwa mumbles and sets his skewer with a half burnt marshmallow aside. “Can I talk to you? Privately?”
“Of course,” Hongjoong sets his own skewer aside and stands with the taller boy.
They start to sneak away when Hongjoong’s boot crunches on a forsaken leaf.
“Where are you going?” Minho asks and Hongjoong curses under his breath.
“We’re going to wash up first,” Seonghwa answers and tilts his head towards the communal bathhouses. “It’s getting late.”
“But it’s almost Hongjoong-ah’s birthday!” Juyeon says and taps his watch. “It’s nearing midnight. We have to sing!”
“We’ll be quick!” Seonghwa assures and no one else raises an objection as the two teenagers walk away from the bonfire.
At first Seonghwa leads him towards the bathhouse but veers off towards the forest when they’re out of view from their camping lot.
Hongjoong follows the taller boy closely and doesn’t question where they’re headed until Seonghwa abruptly stops in the centre of a clearing of trees.
Due to the chill of the beginning of November, most of the leaves have fallen off of the trees. Despite being leafless, the trees stand tall and charming as they surround the two teenagers, giving the feeling of an enclosed space of solace.
There’s a near perfect circular opening where the starry sky and the bright moon can be seen above the trees.
Seonghwa shoves a hand into his coat pocket and pulls out a small, onyx box.
Hongjoong has read enough of the books Seonghwa recommended to him to know what this means so he can’t help but joke, “are you proposing to me?”
“What!” Seonghwa shrieks and nearly drops the box. “J-Joongie! Of course I’m not— I-I mean, I wouldn’t… W-Well, not that I wouldn’t, but now… We’re so young! And we haven’t even finished middle school, and you just turned fourteen—”
“I’m kidding, Star.”
Seonghwa playfully slaps his arm. “You said it so seriously!”
Hongjoong chuckles, “I’m sorry. You look so serious.”
Seonghwa shakes his head but he’s smiling fondly. He holds the onyx box out to Hongjoong. “Happy birthday, Joongie.”
“Thanks, Star, you really didn’t have to.” Hongjoong accepts the box and inspects it. It’s small and almost weightless. There’s intricate stitching on the box to give it a fancier look and bands of gold line the sides where it closes. “This looks expensive.”
“It’s not! Um,” Seonghwa scratches his cheek sheepishly, “I bought the gift, but I made the box.”
“You made this box?” Hongjoong says in amazement, rolling the box around in his hands. There’s a noise that comes from within as Hongjoong tosses the box around. “I’m impressed.”
“Joongie, open it!” Seonghwa huffs and reaches out to grip Hongjoong’s wrist, stopping him from throwing the box around. “The gift is inside, not the box! You’re messing up the presentation!”
“Okay, okay, sorry,” Hongjoong laughs and rights the box in his hands. He exhales dramatically before popping open the lid and finds… Nothing. “Uh…”
“It’s because you were moving it around so much!” Seonghwa pouts cutely and takes the box out of Hongjoong’s clutch. He examines the interior of both halves of the box before plucking out a white, triangular piece of plastic. He presses the plastic into Hongjoong’s palm. “Let’s start over… Happy birthday, Joongie.”
“Thanks, Star, I—” Hongjoong’s words die in his throat when he looks down at the gift.
The triangular piece of plastic is a snow white guitar pick. It’s thin but flexible and the corners are rounded off.
There’s bold, black lettering engraved on each side that glints in the moonlight to show a silver, holographic finish when tilted at the perfect angle. On one, there are his initials ‘KHJ’, and then on the other are the words ‘No1LikeMe’ squished together to fit within the dimensions.
Hongjoong is speechless.
“The local instrument store recommended engraving it with something… Apparently guitar players love to have their own personalized pick. A-And I know you’ve been transitioning from the ukulele to the guitar, to work on your song and stuff… I’m here to support you! T-There’s… There’s no one like you—” Seonghwa stops. His hands are clasped together in front of himself out of habit and he looks embarrassed to have been rambling. He finishes off meekly, “I hope you like it.”
“I love it,” Hongjoong says immediately, already pinching the pick tightly in between his thumb and index fingers. “I love—” His heart is racing as he just catches himself.
I love you.
Seonghwa beams at him and his hands relax. “Happy birthday, Joongie!” He repeats and hesitantly reaches out.
Hongjoong feels the tips of Seonghwa’s fingers brush against the back of his hand. The touch is so faint it’s almost ghostly and Hongjoong knows it’s because Seonghwa knows he’s skittish.
Except this time he doesn’t feel scared by the touch.
Before his friend can retract his hand Hongjoong flips his own, grabs Seonghwa’s hand, and intertwines their fingers.
Seonghwa lets out a surprised gasp but doesn’t move to pull away.
They stay rooted there standing less than a foot apart, one hand linked together under the star and moonlight.
Hongjoong can only hear the crickets in the night over the pounding of his heart.
“Can I—” Hongjoong starts and then squeezes Seonghwa’s hand in a nervous reflex. The taller teen gives him a comforting squeeze back, prompting Hongjoong to clear his throat and continue. “Can I kiss you?”
“Kiss?!” Seonghwa exclaims and Hongjoong would be mortified if the slightly older boy’s expression didn’t look as eager as his. “Are we… Are we allowed to?”
“Allowed?” Hongjoong blinks incredulously. “Do we have to ask permission?”
“I don’t know,” Seonghwa flushes in shame at the silly question, “I-I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“Well…” Hongjoong uses his free hand to rub the back of his neck abashedly, “me either.”
They stare at each other, both equally red in the face.
“J-Joongie…” Seonghwa mutters. The scent of strawberries, previously muted for the whole evening thus far, starts to fill Hongjoong’s nostrils.
When he doesn’t elaborate or say anything further, Hongjoong backtracks as the strawberry smell starts to cloud his mind. “Forget it, Star, it was a stupid question, I’m just being stupid. I shouldn’t have asked—”
He’s interrupted mid sentence when Seonghwa tugs on their connected hands and uses his other hand to cup the base of Hongjoong’s neck.
Hongjoong feels plush, cool lips press high against his cheekbone. It’s likely Seonghwa miscalculated and so he’s awkwardly bent at the waist as his lips connect just below Hongjoong’s left eye.
The kiss is over in two seconds.
Seonghwa gives Hongjoong’s hand one last squeeze before stepping back and smiling gently, “m-maybe… Um— I’ll give it to you next year. Will you ask me again next year?”
“Huh?” Hongjoong says absentmindedly as his fingertips brush the spot on his cheek where Seonghwa’s lips were moments ago. He can’t stop staring at said lips.
Seonghwa notices and ducks his head and his hands clasp together anxiously, “n-next year I’ll give you… My first kiss…”
Hongjoong gulps. “Er, o-okay…”
They don’t say anything more but the atmosphere isn’t as awkward as Hongjoong would’ve thought. His cheek is tingling and he wants nothing more than for Seonghwa to do it again.
“Guys? Did you get kidnapped?” Minho’s voice hollers into the forest.
The two teenagers can see the outlines of Minho, Juyeon, and Bumjoong in the distance.
“Who would kidnap us?” Hongjoong shouts back.
“Okay, stop making out and come back then, it’s almost midnight!”
“M-Minho!” Seonghwa squawks.
“Am I wrong?”
“You’re wrong, Lee Minho, and weird,” is Hongjoong’s snarky reply as the two shuffle towards the three boys.
They make their way back to the lot together to find Hajoon, Yeongsu, Soyeon, and Soojin crowded around a birthday cake with several candles lit.
“Happy birthday!” They all sing when Hongjoong sees the cake.
“Wow, thanks!” Hongjoong says stoically, not wanting to admit or show that he’s feeling a bit emotional and touched by the trip and gesture.
“Make a wish, kiddo!” Hajoon urges.
Hongjoong briefly glances up at the stars in the sky before blowing out all fourteen candles in one go.
“That means your wish will come true,” Yeongsu says happily.
“What’d you wish for?” Minho inquires.
“He can’t tell you, or it won’t come true,” Juyeon scolds. “Don’t tell him, Joong-ah!”
“First slice is the birthday boy’s,” Bumjoong states as Hajoon passes Hongjoong a knife to cut the cake. “And it’s your favourite flavour.”
“My favourite?” Hongjoong raises an eyebrow as he cuts the first slice and dumps it on a plate that Yeongsu hands him. “I don’t have a favourite cake—”
He feels his ears heat up when he sees plump, red strawberry slices atop fluffy whipped cream and vanilla sponge cake.
Minho and Soyeon stifle their giggles into each other’s shoulders, Juyeon glances elsewhere, Soojin looks at the cake unknowingly, and the Kims beam at Hongjoong.
Seonghwa is practically vibrating on the spot as he looks at the cake and he gushes, “strawberry shortcake is your favourite, Joongie? It’s mine too! It’s really delicious…”
“Then take it,” Hongjoong says and shoves the first slice into Seonghwa’s hands before turning to his parents. “Oh my God, abeoji ! Appa !”
Hajoon grins, and speaks lowly so Hongjoong’s friends don’t hear, “You know, Hong-ah, strawberry shortcake is also a popular wedding cake flavour, and since it’s Seonghwa-yah’s favourite—”
Yeongsu gives his husband a discreet elbow to the ribs and takes over the cake cutting from Hongjoong.
Hongjoong watches as his family and friends get settled around the bonfire to enjoy their cake. He then gazes up at the stars.
“Do you want to split this slice?” Seonghwa asks him when he plops down in the empty chair beside Hongjoong.
“No, you have it.”
Seonghwa flushes pink and admits shyly, “I, um, I already had two…”
Hongjoong laughs and drags his chair impossibly closer to Seonghwa’s - the arm rests of the foldable chairs overlap. He motions to the fork resting on the plate, “are we sharing?”
Seonghwa blinks at him, “I don’t mind.”
“Me either.”
Seonghwa lets Hongjoong take the first bite and then he’s using the same fork to take his own bite. He gets cream all over his mouth and gets embarrassed when Hongjoong doesn’t tell him and Bumjoong is the one to hand him a napkin.
“Joongie!” Seonghwa grumbles into the napkin, “why didn’t you say something!”
-
If this is love, then love completes me
Cause it feels like I’ve been missing you
-
Hongjoong shrugs and watches, enamoured, as Seonghwa shovels more cake into his mouth. He feels warm, content, and so unbelievably happy.
｡⋆˚ ღ 15 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
In the end, their friend group separates when they start the tenth grade and enter high school.
Soyeon and Soojin accept offers into Seoul Arts High School and Minho decides on School of Performing Arts.
Juyeon accepts an offer to Seoul International School so he can explore his options in America in the future and Hongjoong accepts his offer to Korean Arts High School with the goal of becoming a music producer like his alpha father.
Seonghwa decides to enroll in Seoul National University High School, being the only one of their friend group with a desire to pursue academia over the arts as he expressed interest in becoming a teacher.
Despite initially being upset at the thought of separating, they’re not too torn up about it as they realize they all live relatively close to one another and immediately create a group chat when they receive their first smartphones.
At the end of summer and the weekend before the school year starts, the six of them (now having regularly included Soojin) have a small party in Seonghwa’s backyard to celebrate their transition into youths starting high school.
They’re sitting at the picnic table Seonghwa’s omega mother made years ago eating barbecue with three squished on one side and three squished on the other.
“I, um, I have an announcement,” Seonghwa says and stands from his seat. He belatedly decides to pick up his plastic cup of juice and knocks a fork against it. When it doesn’t make the sound he had hoped for, he puts the items down on the picnic table in dismay. “Um…”
Five pairs of eyes look at him expectantly.
“What is it, Hwa?” Soyeon encourages. “Is everything okay?”
“Are you nervous about high school?” Juyeon asks. “We all are! If you want to call me on the way to school, I don’t mind!”
“Did you get a girlfriend?” Soojin asks dreamily.
“Oh, no, Soojin-ah,” Minho nudges Hongjoong in the side. “It’d be a boyfriend — a.k.a., our very own Hongjoong-ah!”
Hongjoong spits out his juice and it sprays onto Soyeon, who happens to be sitting in front of him.
“Ew, Hongjoong! Gross!” Soyeon frowns and accepts the pile of napkins Juyeon holds out to her. She dabs at her shirt and glares at Hongjoong, who’s trying not to cough up a lung. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked, you’re the one dating Hwa!”
“And we all knew,” Juyeon adds.
“It was so obvious,” Minho says unhelpfully.
“No!” Seonghwa wails and his hands fly up to cover his face in embarrassment, “Joongie and I— w-we’re not— that’s not— I didn’t mean for— That’s not my announcement!”
“Then what is?”
“I’m—” Seonghwa, face flushed, takes a deep breath. “I’ve presented! Officially. Well, symptoms started around last year, when we went camping on Joongie’s birthday… Anyways, I’m an omega! Surprise!”
“Congratulations!” His friends cheer and clap enthusiastically. “The first and the most mature of us has presented!”
“So, remember two years ago when Hwa said he wanted six pups?” Minho jokes, “yay! You can carry them!”
“Oh! Congratulations on your pregnancy!” Juyeon says jokingly.
“You’re pregnant?” Soojin asks dubiously and glances down at Seonghwa’s stomach.
“No!” Seonghwa shakes his head. “Guys, stop confusing Soojin-ah!”
The friends ignore him and continue their banter.
Soyeon snickers, “Hwa-yah is going to be fine, but can you imagine Hongjoong-ah holding a baby?”
“He might drop your child,” Minho says forlornly.
“I think Joong-ah would be a great father,” Juyeon defends. “You’ve seen how he treats Hwa, of course he’ll treat their baby with love and care.”
“I guess he’s pretty romantic,” Soyeon hums, “after all, he is writing a love—”
Hongjoong whips his cup at Soyeon.
“Hey!” She shrieks when the empty plastic cup bounces off her forehead.
Hongjoong gives her a hard glare, a warning look, and she stiffens at it, immediately biting her lips.
“Are you writing for your song?” Seonghwa asks Hongjoong, bodily turning to the boy sitting next to him. “Have you added lyrics?”
“Meh, there’s not much to it,” Hongjoong answers airily and quickly changes the subject, “besides, holding a baby isn’t any different than holding a guitar.” The teen then positions his hands with one in front of his stomach and the other out to the side, as if he was cradling an instrument.
“That is not how you hold a baby,” Seonghwa says a bit judgmentally as he sits back down. “Don’t hold a baby like a guitar, Joongie…”
“You’ve got some learning to do, Joong-ah,” Minho chuckles, “you’ve got six pups on the way.”
｡⋆˚ ღ 15 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
It’s the first time in his whole school life that Hongjoong is surrounded by unfamiliarity, and the strangest part is probably the fact that he no longer has a deskmate.
He has a homeroom class in the morning after the first bell but even that doesn’t have assigned seating. His homeroom class consists of students ranging from grades ten to twelve.
He, along with two other students named Oh Areum and Han Baekho, are the new grade ten students introduced to their homeroom class for the year.
Aside from Areum and Baekho, Hongjoong makes one or two friends in some of his subject classes after being given a few group projects, but mainly spends his lunch breaks alone in the music department.
High school is boring. It’s the same mundane routine every day, and Hongjoong doesn’t know if he’s only noticing it now that he’s older and in a new environment.
An added aspect of his new high school life is the fact that he knows he’s presenting his subgender soon. His body aches when he wakes up in the morning, he’s more sensitive to new and strong scents, he gets occasional bouts of nausea, and his emotions are heightened.
When he brought up these concerns to his parents, Hajoon had burst into tears and cried that his baby was all grown up while Yeongsu assured Hongjoong that it was all part of the process of presenting.
Hongjoong was curious as to what subgender he would be, and briefly thought about when Soyeon predicted he’d be a beta in eighth grade. He ultimately decides to let time and nature do its thing and patiently endures the weird aches and nausea until his presenting.
This goes on until December and Hongjoong is relieved when the winter break comes on the last day of school.
He’s been feeling on edge the entire day; an uncomfortable weight has settled in the pit of his stomach since lunchtime, and he thinks he might be coming down with a fever.
Year of the Tiger + Juyeon the Ox - 98z [Group Chat]
Lee Minho 🐰 [12:53p]
SCHOOL’S OUT
What are we doing
TODAY
Btw we’re hanging out TODAY
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [12:55p]
Do you have a half day Minho-yah?
I’m still in school…
I end at 3
Lee Minho 🐰 [12:55p]
Ew that sucks
Ok, we can hang out after 3 then?
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [12:57p]
NOT the arcade
I’m sick of going there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let’s go to the mall
Soojin and I end at 3 too btw
We can meet u where ever
(the mall)
Seo Soojin 🍒 [12:57p]
😊😊😊
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [12:58p]
Minho-yah, I’m done as well! Do you want to meet first?
We could go to the library and then meet at the mall?
I have to rent a book for an assignment that’s due after the break
Lee Minho 🐰 [12:58p]
Boo, not the library Hwa 😭
But fine, if u need to
I’m at the bus stop now
Which library?
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [12:58p]
Any library!
If you guys want to go to the mall, Donghan Community Library has my book
I just checked, and it’s right beside the mall
Lee Minho 🐰 [12:58p]
Our meticulous Seonghwa
See @Kim Hongjoong I know big words too
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [13:01p]
I hope so
We’re 15 lol
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:01p]
🙄
@Park Seonghwa I’m on the bus now
Eta 1:30ish
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [13:03p]
Okay! See you soon!
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [13:05p]
I’ll meet you guys at the mall!
Should be there around 3:30 if the bus isn’t delayed
Seo Soojin 🍒 [13:10p]
Is Hongjoong-ah coming?
Does he have a half day or full?
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:11p]
He better
And idk he never replies to us lol
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [13:11p]
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:11p]
Guys spam pls
@Kim Hongjoong
Seo Soojin 🍒 [13:11p]
@Kim Hongjoong
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [13:12p]
@Kim Hongjoong
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:17p]
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
@Kim Hongjoong
Ugh
This is what I mean lol
Do u guys wanna see a magic trick
@Park Seonghwa can u ping Joong-ah
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [13:20p]
Huh? Why me?
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:20p]
Just do it
Pls 🙏
It’s for my magic trick
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [13:22p]
Okay…?
@Kim Hongjoong
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [13:22]
Yeah?
Why do I have 12 pings lol
Lee Minho 🐰 [13:22p]
TA DA~ 🎩
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [13:22p]
Lmfao he answered right away 😂😭
｡⋆˚ ღ 15 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Hongjoong arrives at the mall closer to 4 PM by the time he scrolls through the previous messages in the group chat and catches up with what the plan is.
Instead of notifying the group chat, he pulls up his private conversation with Seonghwa and types a message.
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [15:58]
Hey Star, I’m here
Are you with everyone?
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [15:59p]
Yes! We’re at the food court
Juyeon-ah arrived like 15 mins ago
They’re deciding what to eat
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [15:59]
Ok
Can you meet me at the fountain?
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [16:00p]
Okay…
I’ll just let everyone know
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [16:00]
Nah, just tell them you’re going to the bathroom or smthg
I’m sitting on the fountain
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [16:00p]
Okay, I’m on the way
Hongjoong waits and unzips his coat to alleviate some heat as his discomfort only amplifies with every passing second.
“Joongie,” Seonghwa says as he approaches the slightly younger boy. He’s still wearing his high school uniform: a navy blue blazer with a crisp white dress shirt, tie, and grey slacks.
The uniform pants accentuate Seonghwa’s long longs and his tie is slightly loosened around his neck. Hongjoong wants nothing more than to tug on it.
“Are you okay? You don’t look so good…” The omega stops in front of Hongjoong and lifts a hand to press against his friend’s forehead. “You’re burning up.”
“I feel like shit,” Hongjoong laughs humorlessly and takes Seonghwa’s hand into his as he stands up. He interlocks their fingers and takes off in the direction of the exit without another word.
The chilly December air feels amazing against his heated skin. Seonghwa doesn’t seem to think so as he protests once they’re outside.
“I didn’t bring my jacket—” Seonghwa yelps mid-sentence when Hongjoong rounds the corner and yanks him into the corridor between the buildings of the mall and the arcade.
The omega ends up with his back against the concrete wall. It’s not dark yet but the winter days are short as the sun has already sunk into the horizon, which provides them with enough privacy tucked away in the corridor.
Hongjoong shrugs his backpack off and drops it to the floor without a second thought. He then rips off his jacket and drapes it around Seonghwa’s shoulders to keep him warm before he lets himself fall forward.
His forehead connects with Seonghwa’s sternum with a ‘thunk!’ and Hongjoong inhales deeply.
Seonghwa’s faint strawberry scent washes over him.
Suddenly, he doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as before and the tension in his shoulders dissipates. It provides him assurance and immediately lifts the weight that’s been like a rock in his abdomen.
-
A simple equation with no complications
To leave you confused
-
“Joongie?” Seonghwa whispers and Hongjoong feels a hand card through the hair at the base of his neck. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m presenting,” Hongjoong replies, voice muffled into Seonghwa’s chest. “Or I’m just sick. I don’t know. You smell good.”
“O-Oh,” Seonghwa’s fingers pause in his hair. “I-I didn’t do anything differently, but I was thinking about trying the cologne my hyung recently bought—”
“No,” Hongjoong whines and inhales again, “ you smell good. I hate perfume.”
“Oh,” Seonghwa whispers again.
They both don’t say anything else: Seonghwa doesn’t move Hongjoong, whose face remains planted into his chest as his back stays plastered to the concrete wall.
After a few minutes, Hongjoong feels a particularly harsh and cold breeze against his back. The frigid air is emphasized due to the perspiration on his skin.
“It’s snowing!” Seonghwa exclaims and taps him on the shoulder rapidly, “the first snow!”
Hongjoong lifts his head from Seonghwa’s collarbones and follows his friend’s pointed finger.
Sure enough, there are soft flurries of white falling from the sky as the wind picks up. November was a cool and rainy month and the beginnings of December had a few hail storms.
But Seonghwa is right; this is the first winter snowfall.
“Pretty,” Seonghwa murmurs and cups his hand out in an attempt to catch a snowflake. It proves to be quite difficult with Hongjoong standing in front of him and limiting his movement.
While Seonghwa maneuvers his hand around, eyes wide with astonishment and lips stretched out in a small smile, Hongjoong keeps his gaze fixed on his friend.
“Star,” Hongjoong calls out to him as Seonghwa cries out triumphantly, “I caught one!”
Seonghwa excitedly holds his hand out to Hongjoong, “look!”
But Hongjoong would prefer to look at him.
The shorter boy claps his hand on top of Seonghwa’s, and the omega squeals in alarm at Hongjoong’s disregard for his beloved snowflake.
“Hey! Joongie—”
“Can I kiss you?”
Seonghwa’s beautiful doe eyes blink at him, the snowflake forgotten and melted in between their connected hands.
“On my birthday camping trip, you said to ask you again next year,” Hongjoong states, “it’s next year.”
Seonghwa visibly gulps and his face flushes bright pink. Hongjoong watches his Adam's apple bob.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” Seonghwa echoes the same sentiment as he did on Hongjoong’s birthday.
“Me either.”
“First kiss, first snow,” Seonghwa chuckles nervously.
“Mm.”
“Is that considered good luck?”
“Star—” Hongjoong urges.
“Yes,” Seonghwa finally answers and Hongjoong immediately raises himself up on his tiptoes to connect their lips.
It’s awkward and cold; Hongjoong pulses forward too fast and their foreheads knock against each other. Neither of them tilt their heads accordingly so their noses bump, and because of the weather their lips are akin to ice blocks.
Their mouths slot together.
It’s the most amazing moment in Hongjoong’s teenage life thus far.
Seonghwa’s eyes are screwed shut and his hands are clasped together in front of him out of habit. Hongjoong lifts his hands to cup around Seonghwa’s own and the omega relaxes in his hold. The strawberry scent encapsulates them along with another scent - a hint of pine and jasmine.
The kiss is cut short when a shrill ringtone pierces the air from Seonghwa’s pocket and the taller boy accidentally nips Hongjoong’s lower lip in his startle.
“Sorry!” Seonghwa apologizes and he fishes his phone out of the front pocket of his pants.
Hongjoong licks the blood from the slight cut in the wake of Seonghwa’s teeth and watches as Seonghwa lifts his phone to his ear.
“Hello? Oops! Sorry, Minho-yah, I was in the bathroom—” The pink flush on Seonghwa’s cheeks deepens to a cherry red as he splutters, “I’m not— Hongjoongie is not! That is so inappropriate, M-Minho!”
Hongjoong yanks the phone out of Seonghwa’s hand and says into the receiver, “Hwa and I are coming, stop bothering him and don’t be impatient!” And then he ends the call and holds the phone out to Seonghwa. “We should go.”
“Are you feeling better though? Should you go home?”
Seonghwa’s eyebrows are knitted together in concern but Hongjoong is too distracted by the blush still on his high cheekbones.
Hongjoong leans into Seonghwa as he tightens his jacket around the older boy, “I feel much better now.”
Seonghwa dissolves into a fit of giggles when Hongjoong pinches his waist.
-
If this is love, love, love
Mm, it’s the easiest thing to do
-
｡⋆˚ ღ 16 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
By the time their entire friend group turns sixteen, all of them have presented their subgenders in an even split.
Seonghwa, who presented first, consoles an initially grumpy omega Minho, who was sure he would be present as an alpha. Minho admits that he’s not ashamed of being an omega at all; he just thought that his assertiveness was a sign of an alpha trait.
Soojin and Juyeon present as betas and both shrug it off like they already knew. Juyeon is quite happy with his subgender as he states that he’s pretty sensitive to certain smells, and Soojin says her beta status would be beneficial to her dreams of becoming a famous dancer as beta phases aren’t as intense as ruts or heats.
Soyeon and Hongjoong present as alphas, which comes as no surprise to the former. Soyeon shows off a congratulatory bracelet her parents bought her in combination for her presenting and sweet sixteenth birthday. Hongjoong, who had zero interest in his subgender prior to presenting, announces it to their friend group like he’s reading a weather report.
Hongjoong continues into the eleventh grade feeling more comfortable in his body and routine, now having officially transitioned into a young alpha and a junior in high school.
“I have a girlfriend!” Areum proudly reveals during lunch on a random Wednesday.
On a rare occasion, Hongjoong sits with Areum and Baekho in the cafeteria, along with two others in their grade, Changhun and Mina. He’s plucking at his guitar, working on composing some new melodies, while his friends eat and converse.
“Does she go here?” Mina asks as they all look at Areum in curiosity.
“No, I met her when we went on that trip to the opera house,” Areum responds. “Her name is Sophie, she was born in America, and she’s a beta.”
The table lets out a collective ‘ooooh’ and then Baekho is also chiming in, “I also have a girlfriend. Seunghee, in the year below us.”
“A year of love!” Mina sings and looks to Changhun and Hongjoong. “What about you guys?”
“I’m talking to someone… An alpha,” Changhun replies cryptically and takes a huge bite of his sandwich to avoid elaborating.
So all heads turn to Hongjoong.
“Huh?” Hongjoong grunts and continues to strum chords while his friends look at him expectantly.
“Are you dating, Hongjoong-ah? You never talk about your love life,” Areum says.
“Hongjoong-ah doesn’t talk much at all,” Mina says sadly.
Dating?
Hongjoong’s mind drifts to Seonghwa, who’s probably also on lunch right now eating his usual sandwich.
He always stuffs too much food into his mouth so his cheeks bulge like a cute bunny. Food is the one thing Seonghwa will disregard his manners for, always eating like his parents starve him, especially when it comes to sweets. Hongjoong grins at the mental image.
“He’s thinking about someone!” Baekho says excitedly and that snaps Hongjoong out of it just as his friends bombard him with questions.
“Tell us who your special someone is, Hongjoong-ah!”
“Is it a girlfriend? A boyfriend?”
“What’s their subgender?”
“What’s their name?”
“I’m leaving,” Hongjoong says instead and stands up from his seat.
His friends groan. “No! Hongjoong-ah…”
Hongjoong feels slightly bad. His high school friends are nice and supportive but he’s always too focused on his music or his other friends to fully open up to them.
Before he leaves, he turns around and says, “sorry guys, I’ll tell you when it becomes official… I might ask him soon.”
“Oh?!”
“It’s a him!”
“He must be the one Hongjoong-ah’s always texting!”
“The guy from middle school?”
“No, elementary!”
“Isn’t it both?”
As his friends speculate, Hongjoong shakes his head in amusement and exits the cafeteria.
He makes his way to the music department and nearly whacks someone with his guitar on his way in.
“Fuck, sorry— Oh! Hongjoong hyung!” A tall, scrawny boy with thick glasses beams at Hongjoong.
Song Mingi.
Despite being a year younger, he’s got a few inches on Hongjoong and is one of the new grade ten students in his homeroom. Hongjoong hasn’t really interacted with the new students much but he does know their names and what their future aspirations are.
He’s aware of Mingi’s pursuit of music, whether it be becoming a rapper or a producer.
“Mingi-yah,” Hongjoong nods in greeting and the two stand there awkwardly at the entrance of the department. “Are you leaving?”
“Bathroom break,” Mingi answers and Hongjoong gives him another nod before moving towards an unoccupied music room.
Mingi stops him before he can leave. “Wait! Hyung…”
Hongjoong hums in acknowledgement to let Mingi know he’s listening.
“I know you’ve been working on a lot of music, and I was wondering…” Mingi gulps, “if you could help me? I recorded a few beats on my phone and you know the Fall Harvest Music Festival is coming up that I want to perform in... I know you’re private about your stuff, so I don’t want to push it…”
Hongjoong is ready to refuse. He’s never worked with anyone outside of Soyeon or Hajoon and his colleagues, or played for anyone other than Seonghwa, but Mingi looks down at him with big hopeful eyes.
It reminds him of Seonghwa’s sparkling orbs in that Hongjoong can see the genuinity in them.
The older teen gives Mingi a minute smile, “sure, Mingi-yah. I can help a little bit. What are you thinking?”
Mingi’s mouth parts in shock and his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline, like he wasn’t expecting Hongjoong to agree. “Shit! You want to help me? Really?”
“Er, you asked me…”
“I know! Damn, I’m just surprised. I didn’t think…” Mingi clears his throat, “Thanks, hyung! Um, I'm going to rap. I’m having some trouble with the flow of my lyrics…”
“Alright, show me.” Hongjoong gestures for Mingi to follow him into the music room and the younger teen eagerly obeys.
Just as Hongjoong grips the door handle to open it, he turns to Mingi. “Didn’t you have to use the bathroom?”
“Oh fuck! Yeah!”
Hongjoong chuckles as he watches Mingi hobble back out of the department.
When the two teenagers reconvene and get settled in the music room, Hongjoong has Mingi play his beats and show him his lyrics.
It’s good, astounding really, but there’s something missing that Hongjoong can’t quite place his finger on. While he resonates with the passion in Mingi’s style and flow, he suspects there may be a lack of inspiration in the overall structure.
“What are you rapping about? Is this song special to you?”
Mingi fiddles with the pen in his hand abashedly. “I have a friend… A childhood friend. We went to elementary and middle school together, and now we go to different high schools.”
Hongjoong perks up at this but disguises it as intrigue as he motions for Mingi to continue.
“Shit, um… I’ve liked him for a long time now, and since we’re both presenting soon, I think I’m ready to tell him and ask him to, you know… Be my boyfriend,” Mingi explains. “I want my song in the festival to be my public confession. He likes grand performances and theatrics, so I thought he’d really enjoy this.”
Hongjoong nearly drops his own pen at Mingi’s confession. “That’s uh, really sweet of you, Mingi-yah.” Then, he can’t help but joke, “are you fifteen or a hopeless romantic?”
“Hyung!” Mingi whines but is smiling all the same. He briefly glances at Hongjoong’s music notebook sticking out of his bag and hesitates in asking, “what about you, Hongjoong hyung? I hear you practicing your song all the time in here, and I was wondering…”
Mingi trails off and Hongjoong stays quiet to allow for the younger teen to finish his thought.
“I was wondering if you were writing for someone too,” Mingi finishes after a few moments of hesitation.
Hongjoong bites his lip. Mingi had so willingly opened up to him that he can’t help but feel somewhat safe in doing the same. “I, uh, I also have a friend that I…”
-
Do you feel the way that I do?
-
The word love gets stuck on his tongue, as it had on his fourteenth birthday, as it always does.
He and Seonghwa haven’t progressed in any way after they kissed in December last year, still continuing on as friends and as normal. It’s not awkward at all, they’re just a little bit more affectionate in private, but Hongjoong yearns for something more.
They haven’t talked about it either.
Hongjoong wants to, but he doesn’t know if Seonghwa wants to.
And that’s his problem, as Bumjoong has told him over and over again: he lacks initiative. Crippled with the fear of rejection, Hongjoong can’t bring himself to be the one to start the conversation first even though they seem to share a mutual attraction for each other.
-
Do I turn your grey skies blue
-
“Why don’t you perform in the Fall Harvest Music Festival too?” Mingi’s voice brings him out of his thoughts.
“Me? No, I don’t—”
“I’ve heard you sing in passing,” Mingi encourages and then shrinks into himself when Hongjoong looks at him in alarm. He boldly continues anyway, “you sound really good! Your song is so heartfelt… Is it about your friend?”
-
And make dirty streets look new?
-
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrow. “Mingi-yah…”
“Hyung, you’re so talented,” Mingi gushes, “you should really be performing at all sorts of things! I know you want to become a producer, but performing gives you this rush… I think— I think it’ll make you feel better.”
“Make me feel better?”
“Yeah! What’s the expression…” Mingi taps the back of his pen against the desk before slamming it onto the surface so hard that the cap goes flying across the room. He’s uncaring as he looks at Hongjoong with excitement. “‘Scrub it off your chest’! ‘Throw your doubts into the wind!’”
Hongjoong snorts, “I think you mean ‘get it off your chest’. And ‘throw caution to the wind’.”
“See! You’re a fucking genius! Think about it, hyung. I think it’ll give you that ‘oomph’ that you need!”
-
And the bird sing
Tweedily tweet dee dee dee
Tweedily dee dee dee
-
“I don’t know, Mingi-yah…”
“You don’t even have to invite them to the festival to watch, so they won’t even hear your song,” Mingi remarks, “but trust me! People need to hear your talent!”
Hongjoong purses his lips and sighs, “I’ll think about it.”
“Fuck yeah!” Mingi whoops and leans onto the desk, chin cradled in his palm as he gives Hongjoong a dreamy look. “What’s their name?”
-
And now I know exactly what they mean
-
When Hongjoong grimaces, Mingi waves his hands in distress. “I’m not butting in! I didn’t ask! Sorry, hyung, I swear I didn’t mean to—”
“Star. I call him ‘Star’.” Hongjoong rubs his neck sheepishly and then points to Mingi’s lyrics, “now, back to your song…”
｡⋆˚ ღ 16 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
The festival is packed. Hosted annually in October by Korean Arts High School in support of their music programs, the Fall Harvest Music Festival is held at night and outdoors in the school’s parking lot.
Food trucks line the curb, miscellaneous games and activities are stationed all around, and a giant stage is set up beside the park, equipped with colourful lighting and a surround sound system.
Hongjoong peeks around the side of the stage and lets out a shaky sigh when he sees the sheer amount of people in the crowd enraptured by the current performer: Song Mingi.
And Song Mingi convinced him: He ended up signing his name up to be on the setlist of performers and casually told his parents about the festival, who immediately agreed to go, though he didn’t tell his friend group.
“This is a mistake,” Hongjoong whispers to himself as the audience cheers loudly at the end of Mingi’s performance.
Mingi makes a show of pulling a rose out of his back pocket, kissing it, and throwing it into the crowd. The screams only get louder at this gesture and the teenager bows deeply before making his way off stage.
Hongjoong grips the neck of his guitar as he moves towards the stairs backstage.
Before he can take one step down, a voice booms over the microphone, “and our next performer will be playing an original written song! From Mr. Kim’s homeroom, grade eleven Department of Music student, Kim Hongjoong!”
The spotlight hits Hongjoong’s back while he has one foot on the stairs. He must look like a deer caught in the headlights with the way he stares, wide eyed, at the sea of people below the stage.
Due to the harsh, bright beam of the spotlight, Hongjoong can’t make out any of the faces in the audience. He can only see that there are a lot of people.
A single stool has been placed in front of the microphone stand Mingi was just using with another one set up slightly lower for his guitar.
Mingi is flailing his arms at Hongjoong from the side wing. “ Go! ” Mingi mouths to him on the other side of the stage and Hongjoong has to squint at him to see it. “ Hyung, you got this! ”
The audience is silent in anticipation, all eyes staring at him expectantly.
Hongjoong’s hands have become clammy around the neck of his guitar and the pick in his other palm. He glances from the crowd to the stairs again, gauging if he can just run away.
The heat from the lights feels unbearable and Hongjoong is light headed with his heart pounding in his ears.
“GO HONGJOONG-AH!!!” A random yet familiar voice that sounds like his alpha father shouts from an unidentifiable place in the audience.
“YEAH!!!” Another screams and then the audience is encouragingly applauding him.
Hongjoong nervously smiles and even though he feels like he might throw up, he swallows it down and slowly starts to shuffle towards the middle of the stage where the stool is.
“WOO!!!” The audience cheers when they realize he’s not going to bail.
Hongjoong plops down on the stool and makes a face when he has to adjust the microphone stand. The crowd chuckles.
The teenager’s shaky breaths are caught on the microphone as he props the body of his guitar on his thighs to get ready. When he looks into the vastness of the audience, his throat constricts uncomfortably.
Hongjoong looks down in his right hand where a white pick rests. The engravings of Hongjoong’s initials glitter attractively in the spotlight and the colour of the pick reminds him of the first snow.
“First kiss, first snow.” Seonghwa’s words filter through his brain.
Hongjoong’s fingers maneuver the pick to be held in between his index finger and thumb and he leans into the microphone.
“Good—” There’s a bit of feedback as he’s too close and the teenager winces. He adjusts his posture and tries again, “good evening, everybody. This— This is a song I wrote… Uh.”
He glances to the side wings where Mingi gives him two thumbs up.
Hongjoong gulps, “this is a song I wrote for my Star, who shines the brightest in the sky. I would give you the moon if I could. Uh, I’m gonna start now…”
Despite his apprehension and initial reluctance, Hongjoong strums the beginning chords of his song confidently.
-
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Today, I’m laughing the clouds away…
-
He pours his heart into the microphone and closes his eyes as he sings, nerves easing as it goes on.
Behind closed eyes, Hongjoong imagines that he’s alone on stage and no one is in the crowd except for one person.
How would Seonghwa react to his song?
Would Seonghwa sing it with him? He remembers the first time he went to Seonghwa’s house when they were ten years old and how Seolhyun had commented that Seonghwa had a lovely voice.
Hongjoong believes everything about Seonghwa is lovely.
After the second verse and the final chorus, Hongjoong strums the ending melody and is met with a palpable silence.
He’s afraid of the reaction he’s going to get and is ready to bolt off the stage when the audience erupts with deafening applause and piercing whistles.
He can hear the people at the very front of the stage swooning and yelling to each other.
“That was so romantic!”
“He’s such an amazing singer!”
“He wrote that?”
“Who do you think his ‘Star’ is?”
“Whoever it is, is sooo lucky!”
“Do you think they heard? Are they in the crowd?”
Hongjoong mutters a quick ‘thank you’ into the microphone and once he’s on his feet he’s practically sprinting off the stage. He carefully puts the guitar pick in his coat pocket and zips it up when someone catches his arm.
“Hyung, that was incredible!” Mingi grins and shakes him by the shoulders with enthusiasm, “I told you, you’re a fucking genius! How do you feel?”
Hongjoong takes a step back after Mingi releases him to collect his thoughts, his heart is racing and his mind is abuzz. “You were right, Mingi-yah. I do feel a bit better…”
“That’s the adrenaline talking!”
The next performer is announced once the cheers settle down and Hongjoong exits the stage with Mingi.
“Is your Star here?” Mingi asks.
“No,” Hongjoong answers. He thinks about how moments ago, his subconscious wanted Seonghwa to be there and now he wishes he had invited him. The teenager is keen on changing the subject, “is your friend here? Did he catch your rose?”
“Nah,” Mingi chuckles, “it was too light to throw far. But yes, he did come. I’m supposed to meet up with him by the park soon.”
“Ah,” Hongjoong smiles, “are you going to ask him? To be your boyfriend?”
“Of course,” Mingi shakily smiles back. “I would love for you to meet him, hyung. Since you helped me with my song and everything…”
Hongjoong pats Mingi’s arm, “sure. But tonight you should be with him. You can introduce me another time.”
“Thanks! And I would also love to meet your Star—” Mingi pauses when Hongjoong tenses but brazenly continues, “I’m curious as to who my stoic hyung would give the fucking moon to.”
At that Hongjoong laughs and then the realization seems to sink in and he cringes at himself. “Oh my God, did I really say that? Why did I say that?!”
“It was romantic!” Mingi assures. “You should’ve seen the audience… I think the entire school is in love with you now.”
“Ew,” slips out of Hongjoong’s mouth and then he ushers Mingi towards the park. “You should go meet up with your friend. He’s probably waiting.”
“Thanks again, hyung! I’ll see you next week,” Mingi gives Hongjoong one last smile before darting off towards the park.
Hongjoong watches his retreating back until he becomes a silhouette in the darkness. He turns to immerse himself in the crowds of people in the parking lot and takes out his phone to text his parents when a woman with painted red lips steps in front of him.
Her hair is slicked back into a long ponytail and she’s wearing a stylish, beige trench coat over grey pants. She holds her hand out to Hongjoong, smiling pleasantly. “Hello, Mr. Kim Hongjoong, yes?”
Yeongsu always tells him to mind his manners and being around Seonghwa has definitely improved them, but this woman is still a stranger so Hongjoong can’t help but eye her outstretched hand skeptically.
The woman notices his pinched expression and laughs, “I’m sorry, I should introduce myself first. My name is Moon Iseul and I’m a talent agent from KQ Entertainment.”
She lifts her hand again and this time Hongjoong accepts the handshake.
He tries not to be too obvious in pulling his hand back after a few seconds, “hello, Miss Moon.”
“Hongjoong-ssi, you’re quite the singer,” Iseul compliments. “And you mentioned that you wrote that song? You have a way with words. Whoever your ‘Star’ is, they must be overjoyed to be loved by you.”
“Can I help you, Miss Moon?” Hongjoong asks politely instead. “My family is waiting for me.”
“A straightforward young man, what a great quality to have,” Iseul comments before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a sleek, black card with gold lettering. “Hongjoong-ssi, I would like to invite you to our next round of auditions. KQE is looking to form a new idol group to debut in the upcoming years. Does that interest you?”
An idol group? Today was the first time Hongjoong has ever performed and he’s only ever known songwriting within the comfort of his room or Hajoon’s studio. He’s not a singer. Or a performer.
“I graciously decline,” Hongjoong bows towards Iseul, “it was nice to meet you, Miss Moon—”
“Hongjoong-ssi,” Iseul says firmly. Her sweet demeanour turns more resolute, yet she remains friendly to not scare Hongjoong away. “I’ve been doing this job for many, many years. I know star quality when I see it, and it’s very hard to come by - you are meant to be a star, Kim Hongjoong-ssi. You’re extraordinarily talented, especially for a young man your age.”
Extraordinary.
“Wow Hongjoongie, you’re really extraordinary! Amazing!”
Hongjoong stares at the business card still held out to him. “I don’t want to be an idol,” he blurts, clutching his guitar protectively. “This was a one time thing. I like to write music, not perform it. I’m not your guy, Miss Moon.”
“Becoming an idol isn’t all frills and looks,” Iseul says. “Many idols have aspirations to become producers and composers. A lot of our current artists self-produce and release music at their own discretion, as long as it’s not vulgar or offensive in content. KQE will provide you with the resources and you have the company’s full support.”
Hongjoong phone vibrates in his other hand and he sees Bumjoong’s name light up on the screen.
Iseul notices as well and slides the business card on top of Hongjoong’s phone, under his thumb. She’s careful not to touch him and gives him one last polite smile. “Think about it, Hongjoong-ssi. We’ll handle everything, and you can compose to your heart’s content. Auditions are on Monday.”
And then she’s gone, blending into the crowd as if she was never there in the first place.
Hongjoong juggles his guitar, phone, and the card. He hastily shoves the card into his coat pocket and slides the ‘accept’ button on his phone just in time, “yeah?”
“Hong-ah! Appa, abeoji, and I are by the apple cider stand,” Bumjoong’s voice yells over the background noise. “Are you coming or do you have plans?”
“I need to do something… I’ll meet up with you guys,” Hongjoong replies and weaves his way through the crowds of people to find the apple cider stand.
It proves to be quite difficult with many of his peers, students he’s spoken to before and students he’s never seen before, trying to stop to talk to him.
“You were amazing!”
“You’re so cool, Hongjoong-ah!”
“Thanks,” Hongjoong murmurs and tries to give each person a small smile, though he’s had an overwhelming evening and would ideally like to sit in his bathtub for the rest of the night. He says a few more ‘thank you’s’ before pulling out his phone to make himself look occupied.
He’s surprised to find a message from Soyeon lighting up his home screen.
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [20:02p]
Ur song has come a long way…
I hope u know that Hwa-yah would love it
Have u told him about it yet?
Btw I came to ur festival, I have a friend that goes here
Hongjoong can’t fight the smile at Soyeon’s genuine words. He taps out a reply.
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [20:16p]
Who asked you?
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [20:17p]
🙄
Ur fcking annoying
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [20:17]
Thanks, Soyeon-ah
For everything
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [20:18p]
That’s what friends r for
Pls go tell Hwa-yah
And give him his six pups
Hongjoong scurries towards the apple cider stand.
Hajoon is ugly sobbing into Yeongsu’s shoulder while Bumjoong gives him a wide grin.
“Hey! There’s our super songwriter alpha!” Bumjoong hooks an arm around Hongjoong’s neck and rubs his other fist into the crown of his younger brother’s head affectionately. He then looks at his sniffling alpha father, “no offense, abeoji.”
“My Hong-ah, that was so wonderful!” Hajoon cries, unbothered by Bumjoong’s comment. He rushes to his youngest son and Hongjoong holds the body of the guitar out so his alpha father has to keep his distance. “Let me hug you!”
“Abeoji, you need a tissue,” Hongjoong says.
“Let’s go to the car,” Yeongsu suggests and hands his husband a pack of facial tissues. The Kim family make their way out of the parking lot and the omega wraps an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders, “you were perfect, Hong-ah. How long have you been working on that song?”
“Since I was eleven,” Hongjoong answers honestly. “I guess you heard what I said before I started playing…”
Yeongsu presses a kiss into Hongjoong’s hair, “it was truly beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“But are you gonna say that to Seonghwa?” Bumjoong teases.
Hongjoong thinks about Soyeon’s text.
As the family approaches the car parked on a side street, Hongjoong shoves his hands into his pockets. His fingers make contact with Seonghwa’s guitar pick in one pocket and Iseul’s business card in the other.
“Abeoji,” Hongjoong calls out. “Could you… Could you drop me to Seonghwa’s house?”
“Everybody, get in the car! NOW!” Hajoon screams and nearly drops his keys in his hurry to unlock the vehicle.
Yeongsu rolls his eyes at his husband’s antics while Bumjoong and Hongjoong snicker.
｡⋆˚ ღ 16 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Hongjoong waves to his family and promises to text them afterwards. They allow Hongjoong to stay out past his curfew given that it’s a Friday night and there’s nothing planned for Saturday.
Once the Kim family car is out of view down the street, Hongjoong turns to the Park’s bungalow.
It’s nearing 9 PM and though the porch lights aren’t on, Hongjoong knows that the family must be home since there’s a car parked on the driveway.
He stays frozen on the front lawn now at the mercy of his impulse decision.
Does he ring the doorbell?
Message Seonghwa?
Because Seonghwa’s in the sunroom, he knows there’s a sliding door in the backyard that leads to the teen’s bedroom.
Hongjoong opts to sneak into the backyard by unlatching the wooden gate and taps on the sliding door.
He can’t see inside as there are two layers of curtains covering the doors, so he doesn’t know if Seonghwa himself is home or not. He knocks again when there’s no answer.
He waits and is about to knock for a third time when an eye peeks out from a sliver in the curtains.
“Joongie?” Seonghwa says in shock and fully pulls back the drapes when he recognizes that it’s Hongjoong on the other side.
He’s wearing a baby blue pajama set and his hair looks freshly washed.
Hongjoong raises his index finger to his lips in a shushing gesture and Seonghwa nods before twisting the two locks and slowly pulls the sliding door open.
“What are you doing here?” Seonghwa whispers and moves to the side to allow Hongjoong in. “Do your parents know you're here? It’s cold, why are you only wearing that thin jacket— Joongie!”
The slightly older teen squawks when Hongjoong almost steps inside.
“What?” Hongjoong says in a panic and remains outdoors.
“You can’t come into my room with your shoes!” Seonghwa huffs and flaps a hand at Hongjoong’s boots. “Leave them out here.”
“But what if someone steals them? Or an animal takes a shit in them?”
Seonghwa makes a face where his nose scrunches in distaste and his lips jut out in a pout.
Hongjoong finds it infuriatingly adorable and concedes, crouching down to undo his boot laces. “Okay, okay, they’re coming off.”
“I’m not going to leave them out here, I’ll bring them in. I just cleaned my floor!” Seonghwa scolds and picks up Hongjoong’s boots once the teenager steps inside. He opens his bedroom door and peers into the hallway before rushing out.
Hongjoong re-locks the sliding doors and pulls the curtains shut just as Seonghwa makes his way back into his bedroom and closes the door behind him.
The younger teen rests his guitar against a wall. He unzips his jacket and drapes it over the back of Seonghwa’s desk chair.
“What are you doing here?” Seonghwa repeats as he hauls the two bean bag chairs out from his closet. They’ve outgrown the bean bag chairs as they’re a lot bigger and taller than when they were twelve, so Seonghwa pushes the two together to make one giant bean bag. “Are you sleeping over? I should probably tell my eomeoni and eomma—”
Hongjoong doesn’t sit. Instead, he reaches out to grab Seonghwa’s wrist when the taller teen moves towards his door. “Star— I have… I have to tell you something. Well, two things.”
Seonghwa halts and looks down at where Hongjoong’s is gripping his wrist. “Okay.”
Hongjoong stares into his brown, doe eyes filled with warmth and tenderness and blabs, “I want to give you the moon.”
-
Oh, I can’t believe that it’s so simple
It feels so natural to me
-
Seonghwa blinks once, twice, and then laughs, “the moon? That’s impossible, Joongie. It’s like, four hundred thousand kilometers away—”
“I would lasso it down for you,” Hongjoong says anyway.
The grip on his wrist only tightens and Seonghwa’s laughs die down when the taller boy takes in the seriousness of Hongjoong’s demeanour and expression.
-
If this is love, love is easy
It’s the easiest thing to do
-
“Joongie,” Seonghwa says softly and wiggles his hand out of Hongjoong’s grip to adjust the position. He threads his fingers in between Hongjoong’s own and his eyelashes flutter prettily when he blinks. “What do you mean?”
-
If this is love, then love completes me
Cause it feels like I’ve been missing you
-
“I mean…” Hongjoong, with a little bit more confidence now that Seonghwa is holding his hand, steps forward to eliminate the distance between them so now they’re standing chest to chest.
Apart from the occasional hand holding and waist pinches, they haven’t exchanged a lot of physical touches since their kiss beside the mall. Seonghwa never initiates contact but when Hongjoong does, the older teen will always lean into it.
Hongjoong knows it’s because Seonghwa knows him , knows that he’s on the verge of fleeing every time, and that’s why he doesn’t make contact first. Hongjoong both appreciates it and is frustrated by it, as he’s also the one who’s too scared to cross that line first.
But he’s just going to have to do it.
-
A simple equation with no complications
To leave you confused
-
“Star,” Hongjoong mutters as he gazes up at Seonghwa. “I…”
A sweet strawberry scent fills the air around them as Seonghwa’s gaze lowers to his lips and then snaps back up to meet Hongjoong’s eyes.
“Yes?”
-
If this is love, love, love
-
Hongjoong lifts his free hand and wraps his arm around Seonghwa’s waist. The movement only pulls them closer together as Hongjoong utters out, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Seonghwa surges forward and their teeth clink together at the force. Hongjoong has to break their hand hold to allow for both his hands to grip Seonghwa’s waist to steady himself when the taller teen walks into him.
-
It’s the easiest thing to do
-
They’re kissing so aggressively that Hongjoong ends up with the backs of his knees knocking into the edge of Seonghwa’s bed. His legs buckle and then they’re toppling over onto the mattress.
Hongjoong is unfazed and his hands roam from Seonghwa’s waist to his hips, his eyes now trailing down the omega’s neck.
Seonghwa’s plush lips are red and are starting to swell from the kiss, and a thin layer of Hongjoong’s saliva coats the exterior. His skin is flushed beautifully and Hongjoong rolls them over.
Now that he has Seonghwa on his back, the shorter boy slots himself in between Seonghwa’s long legs to be able to connect their mouths again when he notices the omega’s look of disdain.
“Star, you’re not really thinking about me on your bedsheets, are you?” Hongjoong sighs, “like, in the unsexy way.”
“No!” Seonghwa answers but his actions say otherwise when Hongjoong leans in and he pushes the alpha back. “Okay, yes. Where did you come from, Joongie? You smell a bit like sweat and I just showered, and you know how I feel about dirty clothes—”
Hongjoong latches his mouth onto the smooth skin of Seonghwa’s neck, right below the omega’s left ear, and sucks hard .
Seonghwa’s words turn into a high pitched, breathy moan and then the two are looking at each other in shock for a totally different reason.
The taller boy’s hands fly up to cover his mouth and he blushes a deep red that spreads down to his collarbones. “Oh my God, I don’t know why that sound came out of me, I-I’m sorry—”
“It’s okay, I uh,” Hongjoong ruts his hips forward so his pelvis grinds against Seonghwa’s. The omega moans again and Hongjoong drops his head into the crook of the other teen’s neck in embarrassment. “Yeah…”
“Can I touch you?” Seonghwa asks shyly but his fingers are already playing with the hem of Hongjoong’s shirt.
“Yes, please,” Hongjoong kisses him again.
They’re making out - it’s sloppy and inexperienced, but it’s also hot and messy and the best feeling ever. Everything feels right to Hongjoong and their hands are exploring all over each other’s clothed bodies when Seonghwa’s door unceremoniously swings open.
Seonghwa shrieks and tosses Hongjoong off the side of his bed; the alpha teenager faceplants onto the ground with a ‘thump!’
“Sweetheart, are you okay? I heard—” Hwayoung pauses. “Is that Hongjoong-ah?”
Seonghwa grabs the nearest pillow to hug and cover his lap as he blinks his wide eyes at his beta mother, unresponsive.
Hongjoong figures there’s no point in hiding and brings himself to his knees, ignoring the pain blooming in the center of his face from where it accidentally slammed into the floor. The alpha tries to be casual about the whole thing and leans an elbow on Seonghwa’s bed while lifting his other hand in greeting, “g-good evening, Mrs. Park!”
“Good evening, Hongjoong-ah…” Hwayoung narrows her eyes at the teenager and looks between the two of them; both are red in the face and clearly very embarrassed. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s because I was quiet about it,” Hongjoong responds coolly. “I didn’t want to disturb you and Mrs. Park.”
“Yes! He totally came in through the front door,” Seonghwa says unhelpfully and winces at his own words. “Um, d-do you need something, eomeoni?”
“No, I was just checking in on you…” A hint of a smile tugs at the corners of Hwayoung’s lips. “Are you sleeping over, Hongjoong-ah? Do your parents know you’re here?”
“Yes, they do,” Hongjoong nods honestly, “and if it’s okay… Er, can I sleep over?”
“You’re always welcome in our home. But…” Hwayoung grins mischievously, “oh my goodness, I don’t remember where we put the spare mattress! You’ll have to share with Hwa, is that okay with you?”
“Eomeoni!” Seonghwa bites out and shoves his face into his pillow.
Hongjoong chuckles awkwardly, “y-yes, Mrs. Park, I’m uh, I’m okay with it.”
“Good,” Hwayoung holds up a finger and leaves the entrance of Seonghwa’s room. “Give me a second.”
They can hear the patter of her slippers down the hall and within a few minutes, she’s back and placing two things onto Seonghwa’s bedside table.
“Now Seonghwa, I know we haven’t discussed this much but it’s always better to be safe than sorry—”
“ Oh my God, eomeoni !!!” Seonghwa screams and snatches the items off the table before Hongjoong can get a good look at what it is. He turns impossibly redder as Hwayoung laughs zealously.
“Good night, boys,” Hwayoung winks and then makes her way out of the room. Before she closes the door, she says, “sweetheart, I’ll knock next time, but you should also lock your door—”
“Eomeoni!!!” Seonghwa whines and leaps out of bed to forcefully close the door on his beta mother. As suggested, he twists the lock and turns to face Hongjoong, who’s still kneeling on the ground. “I can’t believe that just happened… Oh my God!!!”
“What did she give you?” Hongjoong asks as he hoists himself up to sit on Seonghwa’s bed.
Seonghwa plops down beside him and holds out a square, shiny gold packet.
Hongjoong has seen enough PG-13 movies and attended far too many sex education classes to know what that is. He coughs into his hand, “er, and the other thing?”
“I-It’s another contraceptive… For o-omegas.”
Hongjoong’s perverted brain supplies the image of Seonghwa round and glowing with a belly full of pups. “I see...”
Seonghwa smacks his shoulder, “ugh, what are you thinking?”
“N-Nothing!” Hongjoong lies and swiftly changes the subject. “Could I borrow some clothes? And a towel?”
“Y-Yeah,” Seonghwa stands up again and moves around his room to retrieve Hongjoong’s requested items.
After Hongjoong texts his parents, showers, brushes his teeth, and has finally regulated his heartbeat, the two teenagers get settled under Seonghwa’s duvet, facing each other.
“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Seonghwa asks. “Are you my boyfriend?”
Hongjoong chuckles, “I guess so. I’ve never done this before.”
“Me either.”
The two laugh and scooch closer to one another so their knees bump and Hongjoong throws an arm around the omega’s waist.
“Joongie,” Seonghwa mumbles, eyes already heavy with sleep.
“Mm?”
“What was the second thing you wanted to tell me?”
Hongjoong’s eyes fly open.
Iseul’s business card.
“Star, what do you know about idols?”
That seems to wake Seonghwa up completely when the slightly older boy sits upright and looks at Hongjoong excitedly. “Idols? Like, pop idols? Boy and girl bands? Do you know EXO? I love them, especially Suho—”
“Who?” Hongjoong sits up as well but doesn’t move his arm from around the omega’s waist. In fact, he only tightens it when he sees a flash of red.
Seonghwa twists in Hongjoong’s hold and grabs his phone from the bedside table. He taps away on it and then positions it in front of the alpha.
A picture of a man with perfectly coiffed hair stares challengingly at Hongjoong.
“Isn’t he handsome?”
“No,” Hongjoong says flatly without getting a good look at the picture at all. “Do you think I’m handsome?”
Seonghwa snorts, “of course I do.” The older teen puts his phone back, “why do you ask about idols?”
Hongjoong drops his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder. “I went to my school’s Fall Harvest Music Festival tonight. Just to support one of my younger classmates from homeroom. I, uh, I was approached by this talent agent. She wants me to audition or something.”
Seonghwa gasps, “no way! For what company?”
“KQ Entertainment.”
“That’s a smaller company,” Seonghwa says. “You should do it!”
“I’m not a performer. I don’t want to sing and dance on stage.”
“I see,” Seonghwa pets Hongjoong’s hair gently. “But you sound like you kind of want to do it.”
“The agent said I would also be producing music… I could work my way up there but…”
“But you’d have to do the singing and dancing first,” Seonghwa finishes for him. “Joongie, there’s no harm in auditioning. At any point you can stop.”
“You’re right.”
Seonghwa smiles warmly at him, “I’ll always be here to support you.”
“Thanks, Star.” Hongjoong presses a kiss to Seonghwa’s neck and then mumbles into the omega’s strawberry scented skin, “do you want to make out again?”
Seonghwa whacks him with a pillow. “W-We’re going to sleep now!”
“But what about—”
“Good! Night!” Seonghwa flops backwards and rolls over onto his side to face away from Hongjoong.
Hongjoong laughs and is more than happy to slot himself behind his new boyfriend and wrap his arms around him.
When Seonghwa tells Hwayoung, Seolhyun, and his older brother, Yonghyun, about his and Hongjoong’s new relationship status, the Park family are ecstatic and go out for a celebratory dinner.
Hongjoong tells Bumjoong and Yeongsu first, who give him a congratulatory fist bump and a hug respectively.
They all agree to tell Hajoon together; his alpha father passes out for a few minutes with Yeongsu, who anticipated this reaction, there to catch him. When Hajoon comes to, he starts to show Hongjoong where he purchased his wedding tuxedo and only stops when Yeongsu scolds him. He’s so delighted to start calling Donggeun and his colleagues and Hongjoong’s grandma with the good news that one would think he was the one with the new boyfriend.
｡⋆˚ ღ 17 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Six months later and to Hongjoong’s surprise, he gets a notification that he passed the audition and is thrust into a boardroom with two executives, a few talent agents including Moon Iseul, and six other boys on a Saturday afternoon.
Hongjoong is even more surprised to find Mingi among one of the six accepted boys. Mingi tells Hongjoong about how one of the agents approached him after his performance and recruited him - he then introduces another one of the boys, Yunho, as his childhood friend.
Since Mingi hadn’t said anything about his confession in homeroom the following Monday and Hongjoong didn’t pry, he’s about to ask how it went at the Fall Harvest Music Festival when the younger teen is quick to cut him off and re-introduces Yunho only as his childhood friend, nothing more.
The alpha nods in understanding as Yunho cluelessly looks between the two of them.
The other boys are all younger than Hongjoong and either just presented or are waiting to; Yeosang (beta), San (beta), and Wooyoung (beta) are the same age as Mingi (alpha) and Yunho (alpha) while the youngest, Jongho, is turning fifteen this year.
They’re given a detailed orientation on what to expect in the upcoming years. There are documents and graphs of training schedules including vocal, dancing, and public relations, potential living situations if they debut, and the projected debut date for the band. Afterwards, they’re given the contracts to take home with them to go over with their parents and legal representatives.
If they decide to sign it, they will move forward with training and are told that once the training period begins, they will have to abide by certain rules surrounding their behaviour outside of the company.
When San asks for this to be clarified, the first example is ‘dating’. Or, lack thereof.
No girlfriends. No boyfriends. No dating.
In exchange for fame and fortune.
Once Hongjoong steps out of the company building, he’s tempted to throw out the contract after hearing that prominent rule but a little voice in his head that sounds like Seonghwa nags for him to think about it first.
Already thinking of Seonghwa, Hongjoong hops on the bus and heads to the Park family’s bungalow.
“Hello, Hongjoong-ah,” Seolhyun kindly greets him when she opens the door. “Today’s not a ‘sneak-around-the-side-of-the-house’ kind of day?”
Hongjoong flushes bright pink at those words and stutters out, “n-no, Mrs. Park. I usually come in through the front door! I was— a few months ago— I didn’t mean to intrude or trespass—”
“I’m teasing you, sorry,” Seolhyun giggles and steps aside to allow for Hongjoong to enter. “My wife and I know you’re a sweet boy, we’re just protective of our Hwa-yah. We love him very much.”
“Me too,” Hongjoong blurts and his blush only deepens. “I mean—”
Seolhyun just smiles, “I know what you mean. He’s in his room.”
“T-Thank you,” Hongjoong bows his head in gratitude.
As he walks down the hall, Seolhyun teases him one last time, “make sure you knock!”
Hongjoong doesn’t and, already embarrassed and eager to cool down in the privacy of his boyfriend’s room, twists the knob to Seonghwa’s door.
Seonghwa is in a state of undress standing in front of his floor length mirror when he sees Hongjoong in the reflection.
He and Hongjoong both scream as Seonghwa reaches for his top hanging off the back of his chair while Hongjoong slams the door shut.
The alpha teenager stares at Seonghwa’s white door as his heart hammers against his chest. His face feels like it’s on fire as his mind unhelpfully recalls the honeyed, unblemished, and smooth expanse of Seonghwa’s back.
While they’ve kissed and had some heated make out sessions up until this point, they haven’t gone any further - yes their hands will roam but Hongjoong hasn’t even seen Seonghwa shirtless yet.
Until now.
“I have more condoms if you need them,” Yonghyun, Seonghwa’s older alpha brother, says in passing as he walks by Hongjoong on his way to his own room.
“Hyung!” Hongjoong groans and leans his forehead against the door, head hung in shame. “We don’t do that stuff—”
“Hahaha,” Yonghyun laughs boisterously. “Not yet. If you need some encouragement or whatever, I have a book you can borrow.”
At that moment, Seonghwa’s door swings inwards and Hongjoong nearly faceplants into his boyfriend’s chest if not for the omega steadying him upright by his shoulders.
Seonghwa glares at Yonghyun down the hallway, “stop saying weird things!”
“You’ll get there eventually, Hwa-yah,” Yonghyun shoots him a wink and the finger guns. “And you need to start locking your door, it’s the first rule of Dating 101.”
“S-Shut up!” Seonghwa yanks Hongjoong into his room and slams the door on Yonghyun’s continuous laughter. Taking his brother’s advice, he clicks the lock before turning to Hongjoong. “Hi, Joongie.”
Hongjoong immediately wraps his arms around Seonghwa’s waist and shoves his nose to the taller teen’s long neck, “hello.”
“Sorry, I was trying on this new sweater my eomeoni bought me…” Seonghwa gestures to the cream, off-white, cable knit sweater currently on his torso.
Hongjoong starts to pepper kisses along the column of Seonghwa’s neck and the taller teenager’s breathing becomes short and heavy.
“Joongie, what are you doing?” Seonghwa inquires and pushes his boyfriend back when Hongjoong nips at his jugular.
“Sorry,” now Hongjoong is the one apologizing as he loosens his hold on Seonghwa, “you look really nice. In the sweater. The sweater is nice.”
Seonghwa chuckles. “Thank you…” And then he clears his throat nervously, “about what my hyung said…”
“I didn’t hear him,” Hongjoong lies.
“You don’t have to pretend,” Seonghwa mutters but looks at Hongjoong appreciatively. “I, um—” The omega averts his gaze to the floor. “I want to do that with you… I’m just not— I’m not ready…”
“Do what?” Hongjoong asks, tilting his head in confusion.
Seonghwa’s hands come up to cover his face shyly but Hongjoong can still see his wide eyes through the spaces between his slender fingers. “Hongjoong-ah…” The omega whispers as he glances at his bedside table.
Oh, the full name comes out. Hongjoong follows his boyfriend’s gaze to the bedside table and is hit with the events that transpired that night six months ago, particularly what Hwayoung gave Seonghwa.
“Ah!” Hongjoong yelps and shakes his head. “Star, I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, and that’s not something that’s important to me—”
Seonghwa giggles; it comes out a little breathy and his strawberry scent amplifies. “I’m supposed to get my first heat soon…”
Hongjoong’s mind drifts.
School and his parents have educated him on what it means to present and the biology that comes with one’s subgender. He knows about alpha ruts, beta phases, and omega heats.
“Do you get wet?” Comes out of Hongjoong’s mouth and the teenager is mortified once the words leave his lips. “Oh God, I didn’t mean to ask that…”
Seonghwa playfully flicks his forehead, though the pink blush remains on his cheeks since the start of this conversation. “Yes, you did.”
Hongjoong just blinks at him.
Seonghwa doesn’t meet his eyes as he nods slowly, “I do…”
And now Hongjoong is imagining Seonghwa on the bed in nothing but the sweater and he has to pinch his forearm to keep his mind from completing that lustful mental image.
“Anyways,” Seonghwa says awkwardly when Hongjoong doesn’t respond, “not that I don’t want you here… But this is a surprise.”
“Oh yeah,” Hongjoong scratches his head sheepishly, almost having forgotten why he came in the first place. “I had that orientation today with KQE. They gave us our contracts.”
Seonghwa lights up at this, “how did it go?”
“It sounds like a lot,” Hongjoong admits. “I kind of don’t want to sign it.”
“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa says disapprovingly and Hongjoong makes a disgruntled face at him. “What?”
“Stop calling me that,” the alpha pouts.
“ Your name?” Seonghwa can’t help but chuckle. When Hongjoong continues to give him a deadpan look, the older teen concedes, “okay, Joongie-yah , why are you giving up when you haven’t even started?”
“The training schedules sound too intense and there are too many rules you have to follow…”
“You never back down from a challenge,” Seonghwa states and then narrows his eyes at Hongjoong, “what kind of rules?”
“Y’know, like monitored cell phone use, strict diets, no dating, limited interactions with family and friends, crap like that,” Hongjoong tries to list nonchalantly.
Seonghwa reaches out and grips his wrist, “Joongie. You said ‘no dating’.”
“Yeah, that was somewhere in there…” Hongjoong trails off and unconsciously tightens his hold on Seonghwa’s waist. When he sees his boyfriend’s pointed look, he groans, “Star, it’s not a big deal. I don’t want to be an idol anyway! I was gonna throw out the contract when I got home.”
“No, if you weren’t going to sign the contract, you would’ve thrown it out at the company.” Seonghwa untangles himself from Hongjoong’s encircled arms and keeps the shorter teen at arm’s length to stare at him seriously. “Hongjoong— Joongie, you have to take this opportunity if even a little part of you wants to. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of thing, do you know how crazy it is to be scouted while simply attending a festival?”
Hongjoong bites the inside of his cheek - he hasn’t told Seonghwa the truth about his song or the performance at the Fall Harvest Music Festival. The omega still believes he was only attending it.
Seonghwa smiles at him warmly and takes both of Hongjoong’s hands into his. He caresses the backs of Hongjoong’s knuckles comfortingly with his thumbs though his eyes carry a hint of sorrow, “you should sign. We can break up—” Hongjoong starts to whine in protest when Seonghwa squeezes his fingers, “and just be friends for now. We’re so young and we have our whole lives ahead of us.”
What? Hongjoong shakes his head and tugs on their connected hands so Seonghwa stands closer to him. “Star, why are you saying that? Do you want to break up?”
Seonghwa maintains his smile but Hongjoong can see the tears start to form on his lower lashline and his nose start to blot red, “no, of course not. But you’re too handsome and too talented to pass this opportunity. I would be content with being your friend for now, as long as I can support you.”
The alpha clamps Seonghwa’s hands in his like a lifeline. “Star…”
Seonghwa sniffles and lets out a watery laugh. “I want to give you the freedom to explore your career. And when you retire and if you’re still single, maybe we can resume this relationship - you still have to give me the moon, after all.”
Hongjoong pulls Seonghwa down so he can connect their lips in a kiss.
It’s a bit wet as Hongjoong hadn’t realized he started crying too, and Seonghwa has to break the kiss since neither of them can breathe through their noses, both blubbering into each other.
Hongjoong spends the night and he and Seonghwa don’t do anything else but hold each other.
｡⋆˚ ღ 17 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
When the summer comes, life is dull. Hongjoong isn’t one to be dramatic (despite what Hajoon says) but he’s miserable.
He’s still living at home with Bumjoong and his parents, but because of training and his schedules, Hongjoong barely sees his friends.
The company gives him his high school graduation day off to attend the ceremony and he tries to negotiate Seonghwa’s graduation day as well. The request is denied when he’s forced to admit that Seonghwa isn’t an immediate family member.
The only way he keeps up with his friends and where they’re headed off to post secondary is through the group chat.
Minho and Soojin accepted offers into different companies around the same time that Hongjoong did, JYP Entertainment for the former and Cube Entertainment for the latter, and both sympathize with Hongjoong’s frustrations in adjusting to the hectic lifestyle.
Juyeon departs for the United States to pursue a Bachelor’s in an American university while Soyeon and Seonghwa are set to attend Seoul National University: Soyeon in the College of Music and Seonghwa in the College of Education.
Hongjoong spends so much time with the other six boys that despite his struggles to open up to new people, he’s very endeared by the younger teens. They jokingly start calling him ‘Captain’ (and sometimes ‘abeoji’, but he tries not to read into that) and he finds himself scolding them like children when he’s only a year older than them.
“I have a friend who's also training, and he has a boyfriend,” Wooyoung gossips when the seven of them are huddled around a small table in the Seven Eleven below the company.
They have allowance for meals each week and today’s menu is ramyun; it’s nearly 10 PM and they’re all sweaty and tired from dance drills, so each teenager has at least two bowls of instant noodles.
“Are the rules at his company different?” San asks.
“Is it—” Yeosang begins to ask but then shuts his mouth. He and Wooyoung had briefly trained at another company prior to joining KQE, so they would likely know each other's friends. “Nevermind.”
Wooyoung stirs his noodles as he continues, “nah, the rules are the same: no dating. It’s super secret. They met in high school, so it's pretty new. But he said he's probably gonna break it off when he debuts.”
“That's so risky,” Jongho comments. “It’s probably better if they break up now. What if something happens before debut?”
“Or after?” San chimes in, “like blackmail!”
“If you love someone, why would they blackmail you?” Yeosang asks.
“Whoa! Who said anything about love?” Wooyoung chuckles, “I don't think they're in love . We're too young for that! Do you guys even know what love feels like?”
Hongjoong and Mingi glance at each other and both alphas duck their heads to avoid adding to this conversation.
“Yeah,” Yunho answers airily and Mingi chokes on his noodles.
“You love someone?” San asks excitedly.
“Um, yeah,” Yunho says and doesn't elaborate. He signals the end of his contribution to the topic by slurping more noodles.
“Boo, you should tell us more,” Wooyoung pouts but then focuses on Hongjoong. “Hyung, you must have some love stories, right? You're old.”
Hongjoong frowns at the younger teen, “what the fuck? I'm only a year older than you.”
“Come on, I want juicy gossip!”
“Woo, don't make our Captain uncomfortable,” Yeosang hisses and pushes Wooyoung’s noodle bowl closer to the slightly younger beta. “Eat your food. I want to go home and shower.”
“That's no fun,” Wooyoung continues to pout but does as told and starts to eat.
When they've finished their meals they say their goodbyes outside of the convenience store before walking towards their respective bus stops or train stations.
“Hyung,” Mingi jogs up to catch up to Hongjoong. “Can we go together?”
Hongjoong and Mingi live in the same direction given that they went to the same high school, but the oldest alpha likes to bus alone to drown himself in his thoughts and music. Mingi doesn't take offense to it as he usually hangs out with Yunho before going home anyway.
Hongjoong shrugs, “sure.”
As the two walk towards the bus stop, Mingi speaks. “I chickened out of confessing at the festival last year. Yunho didn’t even know the song was for him. He thought I was just putting on a good show with throwing the rose at the end. I don't know what happened… I felt the confidence on stage but when I got to the park…”
Hongjoong waits for Mingi to finish.
“I couldn't do it,” Mingi deflates. “The nerves piled on me and I kept thinking about all the ways it could go wrong… And I guess it was a good thing anyway, since the talent agent approached us both afterwards.”
“It may happen naturally.”
“No, I don't think so,” Mingi says dejectedly. “I think this whole idol thing is… Complicated. My dream is to perform and show the world my music, but… I'm in love! Why should my career stop me—”
“You're talking like it's the end of the world,” Hongjoong interrupts. “We're still young and can live our lives to the fullest - Enjoy the support and income KQE will give us, have fun and learn new things under seasoned professionals, and then… Who knows. Continue to produce. Continue to make music. Then, we retire and get married. Have six pups.”
“Six!” Mingi shouts, “you want six?! Your poor Star…”
“Mingi-yah,” Hongjoong shakes his head, “that's not the point—”
“I know,” Mingi chuckles and beams at Hongjoong gratefully. “Thanks, hyung. I feel a little bit better. I just… I don't want to have any regrets.”
Hongjoong’s confidence wavers. “Me either.”
｡⋆˚ ღ 18 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
The year comes and goes. Now that he doesn’t have school to attend Hongjoong is given the opportunity to shadow two of KQE’s producers, Kim Yonghwan, an alpha who goes by ‘Eden’, and Kim Kyungmun, a beta who goes by ‘Maddox’, while they work on the upcoming debut album.
He’s informed that if his contributions are approved by Yonghwan and Kyungmun, he’ll be able to work alongside them in producing and composing the album, as well as the second album that’s being scheduled to be released three months after the first.
This sparks Hongjoong’s inspiration for music again after a slump due to the initial depression he felt when he first started training.
Hongjoong spends late nights at the company even after his training schedules to listen and learn everything Yonghwan and Kyungmun have to offer and teach.
Most nights he only gets four hours of sleep by the time he gets home, and sometimes he even passes out on Kyungmun’s couch in his studio.
It’s gruelling, tiresome, and pushes Hongjoong out of his comfort zone, but Hongjoong finds himself becoming more vocal about his opinions as time goes on. He and Yonghwan clash a lot with their creative input and due to their personalities and as alphas, the arguments get heated.
Kyungmun has to be the mediator most of the time and in the end, despite the disagreements and late nights, Hongjoong is appreciative of the entire process and both of the producers he now calls ‘hyung’.
The texts exchanged between his friends gets sparse as everyone gets busier.
He and Seonghwa were messaging each other every day.
Seonghwa took more initiative in their messaging and at first. He would text Hongjoong things like: good morning, did you eat today, have a good practice! And he wasn’t deterred by Hongjoong’s late night or lack of replies.
But then every day turned into every other day, then once a week, once a month, once every few months, and soon, their text chain starts to get scarcer and scarcer.
Hongjoong is just so busy trying to balance everything that he can’t find it in what little he has left to keep up.
Another added stress that Hongjoong completely forgot about was keeping track of his cycle and rut. He’s not even aware of his first rut approaching until Kyungmun pulls him into his studio one day to speak to him privately.
“What’s up?” Hongjoong greets as he begins to all but rip his jacket off of his body. “Are you blasting the heat? It’s hot as hell in here.”
“Hongjoong-ah,” Kyungmun says and gestures to the couch.
Hongjoong sheds his sweater as well before plopping down on the couch.
“I would like to assume you’re well educated by your high school and family about what it means to be an alpha?”
Hongjoong raises an eyebrow and wipes his clammy hands on his pants, “uh, yeah. Why?”
Kyungmun looks a little bit uncomfortable with the conversation and hesitates to continue.
In his silence, Hongjoong begins to panic. “Are you firing me?”
“Firing you!” It’s Kyungmun’s turn to raise his eyebrows.
“You’re really serious right now,” Hongjoong points out.
At that Kyungmun laughs, and the mood seems to lighten a little. “No, you’re not fired. I wouldn’t have the power to do that anyway.” Kyungmun then resumes his earnest demeanour, “I’ll get straight to the point. You haven’t had your first rut yet, have you?”
Hongjoong tugs at the collar of his shirt sheepishly, “no. Shit… Is that what this is?”
“The company wanted me to talk to you about it because KQ Entertainment provides you… Options.”
Hongjoong swallows thickly, “what do you mean?”
Kyungmun takes a binder off of his desk and hands it to Hongjoong. “You’re obviously more than welcome to handle it on your own. But we know that ruts, phases, and heats can be painful for our artists - so we have a small network of private individuals who offer their… Services…”
“I’m not having sex with a random dude,” Hongjoong states flatly.
“Is your preference a man? It can be arranged,” Kyungmun explains. “You can also express your subgender preference. Everything is confidential and all individuals are approved by the company.”
Hongjoong tosses the binder to the side on the couch and stands. “No thank you. If you’ll excuse me.”
The alpha gathers his sweater and jacket in his arms and moves to leave when Kyungmun clutches his shoulder.
“Hongjoong-ah, this is going to become a regular thing. And they only get more painful without a partner. One of the options is suppressants, but we stop treatments after twenty one years old for health reasons.”
“I can handle it,” Hongjoong grits out and shrugs Kyungmun’s hand off his shoulder. Before he leaves he turns around and says, “thanks, hyung. I know you’re trying to help. But I— I’ll just deal with it.”
His first rut comes the same day that Jongho presents as an alpha, and so Hongjoong has to skip out on celebrations.
He holes himself up in his room with a bunch of water bottles and snacks and sets up his laptop for any… Motivational content he may need.
And Kyungmun was right; it is painful. Hongjoong’s hand just isn’t enough and he has to pathetically hump his mattress and pillows to get through it.
His saving grace is when he finds strawberry scented hand lotion in his parents’ washroom and uses it as lubricant. The strawberry scent is comforting and provides the right amount of relief.
And so Hongjoong deals with it, like he always does.
｡⋆˚ ღ 19 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Their band name becomes official: ATEEZ, and Hongjoong is officially appointed the leader, or, ‘Captain’. Their debut song begins recording, choreography practices are scheduled, and the company announces their projected debut date: October of next year.
While the timeline of albums are being negotiated, the boys move into an apartment nearby the company. They’re split into two dorms; Yunho, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and Jongho in one and Hongjoong, Mingi, and San in the other.
Promotions and marketing materials are released in intervals to gain attention surrounding the band and the boys’ day-to-day are jam packed with photoshoots, training and recording sessions, and other miscellaneous projects.
KQE publishes a performance video of a professionally shot, original dance choreography with the intention of attracting some attention before they release their debut EP. Hongjoong feels like he lives and breathes ATEEZ after nearly two years of being a trainee.
The other boys keep him grounded and provide a sense of friendship and family that Hongjoong was starting to feel distant from. His parents and Bumjoong regularly send him messages to check in, but Hongjoong can’t find the time to keep up with his friends.
At this point, it’s been nearly two years. Some nights he opens his friends’ group chat and stares at it gloomily.
The worst feeling is when Hongjoong opens his chat with Seonghwa and sees that their last message was a year ago. He’s too scared to message him now and lets that emptiness fester.
｡⋆˚ ღ 20 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
‘Pirate King’ and their album, TREASURE Ep .1: All to Zero is released on October 24 with their debut showcase held on the same day.
Hongjoong is so nervous he’s afraid he might throw up on the stage, and it doesn’t help that his skin feels hot and itchy. He woke up with a pounding headache and tried to ignore what these signs meant, though the thought lingers in the back of his mind.
His makeup artist comments on the fact that she has to keep blotting his skin and the wardrobe coordinator tells Hongjoong at least six times to stay still.
When he’s finished with his hair, makeup, and wardrobe, Hongjoong heads to the bathroom to relieve himself and check his phone before he has to put it away.
A name in his notifications has his heart stuttering and he’s immediately tapping on the message.
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [17:58p]
Hi Joongie
Not sure if this is still your number but…
It’s Park Seonghwa
I know we haven’t spoken much in the past year
And that’s okay! I know you’re busy
I wanted to wish you luck with your showcase today
I’ll be cheering you on from behind my TV
You can count on me to always support you and be your fan
Go ATEEZ & Kim Hongjoong~
Hongjoong laughs humorlessly at the ‘it’s Park Seonghwa’. As if he’d ever forget or delete this number. He contemplates typing out a response and keeps backspacing whenever he punches a letter into the text box.
He stands in the bathroom in front of the mirror for over ten minutes when his manager messages him asking where he is. The alpha curses under his breath and decides to formulate a response later.
After hair and makeup is finished for all the members, they huddle in a circle to give each other a few words of encouragement before they’re set to take the stage.
“What if no one comes?” Wooyoung whispers.
“Words of encouragement, Woo!” San frowns.
“Hey, I’m just saying what we’re all thinking!”
“What if my voice cracks?” Jongho says worriedly, “I was doing warm ups but…”
“What if I trip and fall?” Yunho wonders. “Maybe we should all stretch again.”
“Guys, stop jinxing us,” Yeosang groans.
“We’ve worked hard for this moment,” Hongjoong says and immediately all six boys look at him with wide and shaky eyes. “You’re all incredibly talented singers and dancers, and we’re going to get on that stage and absolutely crush it. Who cares if only one person comes? Then we perform for that one person. If your voice cracks or you fall, there’s always room for improvement. You should be proud of this performance no matter what because this is only the beginning.”
Mingi sniffles a little, “hyung…”
Hongjoong’s right hand shoots out into the center of the circle and the other boys follow suit. They do a little hurrah and are then ushered backstage by staff.
The stage is hot with all the lights shining down. There are at least four cameramen set up around the studio and a live audience of a few hundred wait in anticipation.
The MC announces them and Hongjoong steps onto the stage first.
｡⋆˚ ღ 20 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Their performance goes well, nobody’s voice cracks and nobody falls, and the company informs them that they’ve been granted the next three days off. But they do warn the boys that next week will be even more hectic as they have a lot of work to do regarding upcoming music shows, guest appearances, and fan meets.
It goes in one ear and out the other as Hongjoong hurriedly gives each member a celebratory fist bump and/or side hug before he’s racing off to the prepared car and asking for the driver to bring him home as soon as possible.
Once home, Hongjoong takes a speedy shower, dresses in generic baggy clothing, pulls a cap over his head, slips a mask on, and shoves a pair of old, non-prescription glasses onto his face.
He sneaks out of the apartment and walks around for a few minutes. He goes in and out of random stores along the street and when he’s sure no one recognizes him or is following him, he heads to the bus stop.
From there, it’s like he’s operating on auto-pilot. He doesn’t know if it’s the adrenaline from the performance or the upcoming rut bubbling under his skin but Hongjoong is determined as he cautiously navigates his way to his destination, a place he knows by heart.
Hongjoong meticulously checks his surroundings again before crossing the street and scurrying into the backyard of the house.
It feels wrong. And this would be classified as trespassing if he were caught, but there’s no turning back as the alpha taps on the glass sliding door.
There’s no answer.
Hongjoong knocks again.
He waits.
Nothing.
Hongjoong raps his knuckles on the glass one last time and nearly trips over his own feet in surprise when the curtains are yanked open and a tall, slender, stunning man glares at him from the other side.
Seonghwa gets more beautiful every time Hongjoong sees him, and the older man never fails to make Honjoong’s heart beat faster. The feeling is amplified with the way Seonghwa has grown into his features; his jawline is sharp and his hair is longer than when they were teenagers, though it’s styled in a way that frames his face perfectly.
His eyes still sparkle the same.
The omega’s glare morphs into shock when he realizes who’s been tapping on his door.
“Hongjoong-ah?” Seonghwa yells and unlatches the two locks on the sliding door. Then he’s pulling it open. “Am I dreaming?”
“Hey, Star, long time no see,” Hongjoong greets awkwardly and bends down to remove his boots but Seonghwa clutches the front of his jacket and yanks him into his room.
Seonghwa slams the sliding door shut, locks it, and closes the drapes.
The alpha is about to make a comment on the fact that his boots are dirty and he’s stepping on Seonghwa’s immaculately clean floor when he’s being pushed onto the bed and suddenly, there are a pair of lips on his as Seonghwa climbs on top of him.
Fireworks explode behind Hongjoong’s eyeballs as they kiss, a feeling he’s been missing out on and thinking about for years , and Seonghwa’s hands feel amazing on his heated skin.
“Star—” Hongjoong gasps in between sloppy kisses.
The nickname only seems to fuel Seonghwa’s desire as the older man simultaneously tries to lick his way into Hongjoong’s mouth and shoves a hand up the alpha’s shirt.
“I just saw you on TV,” Seonghwa says breathlessly.
Hongjoong catches Seonghwa’s wrist before the other man can lean forward again. “Star, we should talk first—”
Seonghwa pouts and it’s the exact same way he used to pout when they were younger that Hongjoong feels a weird sense of deja vu.
The nostalgia is short lived when Seonghwa holds his index finger up to Hongjoong’s lips and his pout turns into a more seductive expression as he stares at Hongjoong with hooded eyes. “I can talk for us - you answer. I have two questions and something to say.”
One of Seonghwa’s hands fiddles with the drawstrings of Hongjoong’s sweatpants and the younger man breathes heavily at the ghost sensation of Seonghwa’s fingers brushing against his crotch.
He was fighting his rut up until this point but Seonghwa’s foreign boldness is definitely kicking it into high gear as Hongjoong feels impossibly hotter.
“Question one: are you seeing anyone?” Seonghwa asks.
“I’m not allowed to,” Hongjoong pants.
“Question two: can I touch you?”
It’s a little late to ask this but the question is reminiscent of when they were sixteen and Hongjoong confessed after the Fall Harvest Music Festival.
Hongjoong answers the same, “yes, please.”
Seonghwa pounces on him again and tugs off Hongjoong’s boots and shirt, tossing both items carelessly to the side. His eyes trail down Hongjoong’s naked torso before his mouth is on the alpha’s chest, kissing and sucking any skin his mouth can make contact with.
As he ravishes Hongjoong, the omega climbs on top of him once more and straddles his lap with one knee on either side of Hongjoong’s hips.
“Star,” Hongjoong murmurs just as Seonghwa makes his way up and connects their lips again. The alpha’s mind is clouded and fuzzy as he lets Seonghwa kiss and touch him all over.
“Mm,” Seonghwa hums and threads his fingers through the shorter man’s hair.
“What was—” Hongjoong moans when Seonghwa yanks on his hair, forcing his head back. The omega is looming over him as he still hasn’t lowered himself on Hongjoong’s lap and the younger man unconsciously bucks his hips up, begging for friction. “What was the ‘something’ you had to say?”
“Oh,” Seonghwa giggles breathlessly and finally sits down so his ass rubs against Hongjoong’s arousal, “I’m very wet…”
“Fuck,” Hongjoong curses and flips them over to gain more leverage in grinding his hips into Seonghwa.
They continue to make out and lick into each other’s mouths as Hongjoong continuously ruts his clothed hips against Seonghwa’s. The omega loses his shirt at some point but their pants stay on as the friction feels so good .
A pretty red flush spreads from Seonghwa’s cheeks to his collarbones and his plush lips are parted as he moans.
Hongjoong ends up coming in his underwear and, surprisingly, doesn’t feel an ounce of embarrassment when he sees that Seonghwa is so wet that he’s completely soaked the front of Hongjoong’s sweats.
“Oh my God,” Hongjoong groans and drops his head to the crook of Seonghwa’s neck. He inhales deeply and that familiar strawberry scent engulfs him. He only gets dizzier and is still hard when he dips a hand into the cleft of Seonghwa’s ass to touch the stickiness there.
His rut is in full swing by now and Seonghwa’s strawberry scent only makes him feel more feral.
“Hongjoong-ah,” Seonghwa says as Hongjoong catches his breath, still on top of the omega, and he doesn’t stop Hongjoong from cupping his butt. “What are you doing here?”
“I have the next three days off,” Hongjoong replies and scents the elegant line of Seonghwa’s neck. “You’re not very shy anymore, are you?”
Seonghwa flush deepens at that. “I’m the same. Just older, I guess.”
“Are you seeing anyone?” Hongjoong asks and experimentally dips his third finger into Seonghwa’s wet heat. It’s the first time they’ve touched each other so intimately but Hongjoong feels like he’s a starved man with the way he wants to devour the man underneath him.
The omega lets out a whimper and shakes his head, “if I was I wouldn’t let you do that.”
“Fair. I got your text.”
Seonghwa seems surprised by this, “your number’s still the same then.”
“Star, I’m sorry,” Hongjoong starts, “for not reaching out to you, I—”
Seonghwa covers Hongjoong’s mouth with his hand and giggles, “you’re not really apologizing to me with a finger in my ass, are you?”
Hongjoong lets out a strained laugh, “I didn’t want you to think we were rushing into this—”
“Rushing? It’s been like, ten years—”
“Is your door locked?”
Seonghwa snorts, “yes. I’ve learned.”
Hongjoong kisses him.
When Hongjoong imagined his first time with Seonghwa, he thought it would be a romantic occasion like in the books Seonghwa used to read.
Maybe a nice picnic that led into a hotel getaway with rose petals on the bed. Of course, being a teenager at the time, he knew that was unlikely how the events would unfold, but he still revered it as something big and special.
What he doesn’t expect is for it to happen when Hongjoong’s just debuted in a boy band, in Seonghwa’s childhood room, while the former is in rut, and for it to happen over and over. And over. And over again.
The first time Hongjoong pushes into Seonghwa, he’s steady and gentle and is worried about hurting the taller man as he fights his instincts. It’s agonizingly slow yet sweet and Hongjoong takes his time in kissing and caressing Seonghwa’s body with his movements, revelling in the noises the omega makes every time he thrusts.
But then unexpectedly, despite Hongjoong being the one in rut, Seonghwa turns out to be insatiable.
Round after round he’s pleading for Hongjoong to go again, and the alpha can’t complain when he wants it just as much.
In between sessions they lie on Seonghwa’s bed and talk. They catch up on each other’s lives and reminisce about their youth.
Seonghwa’s program is going well and he’s set to graduate in the new year. After, he’s hoping to apply and start teaching at a nearby elementary school to save up to move out.
Hongjoong tells Seonghwa about the members of ATEEZ and his experiences with Eden and Maddox. He confides in Seonghwa about his optimism for his future with KQ Entertainment and working his way up to being a music producer.
After a few rounds and conversations, Hongjoong notices something propped up against Seonghwa’s wall and wedged in between his bookcases.
“Is that a ukulele?” Hongjoong asks and points to the instrument.
Seonghwa blushes, which is kind of ridiculous as if he wasn’t lewdly calling out Hongjoong’s name a few minutes prior. “Um, yeah. My family bought it for me for my eighteenth birthday. I thought I could learn it since I was…”
Hongjoong patiently waits as Seonghwa’s cheeks burn redder.
“I really missed you. I thought it would make me feel a bit closer to you. Ugh, that sounds so stupid—”
“No,” Hongjoong says assertively and props himself up on his elbows to inch closer to the omega. “It’s not stupid at all, I—”
I love you.
Hongjoong swallows the rest of his sentence and instead finishes with, “I missed you too.”
They stay up all night and not once does Seonghwa complain about the fact that they’ve completely dirtied up his bed.
｡⋆˚ ღ 21 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
In the new year and leading up to the release of ATEEZ’s second album, TREASURE Ep .2: Zero to One, Hongjoong is inspired by his reunion with Seonghwa to reconnect with his friends and show that he still thinks about them.
He sends individual messages to Areum, Baekho, Mina, and Changhun and is met with genuine enthusiasm. His high school friends congratulate him on his official debut and let him know that they’ll be following ATEEZ and supporting him on this new journey.
He starts to message Seonghwa more regularly - or, as regularly as he can given his schedules and idol lifestyle.
And lastly, after much deliberation, he sends a message to the group chat.
Year of the Tiger + Juyeon the Ox - 98z [Group Chat]
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [14:11p]
Hey guys
Not sure if all of you still have the same number
I just woke up and I guess I’m feelin a lil sentimental
I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty friend
And haven’t reached out in the past couple of years
I hope you’re all doing well
(I miss you guys)
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [14:12p]
Wtf u JUST woke up
My dude, r u aware that it’s past 2PM? 😂
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [14:12p]
What the hell Jeon Soyeon
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [14:12p]
I’m just sayin
(I miss u too Joong-ah)
Lee Minho 🐰 [14:15p]
KIM HONGJOONG?!
The KIM HONGJOONG?!
OF ATTEZ?!
IS MESSAGING US MORTALS?!
(I miss u 2 Joong-ah)
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [14:15p]
Stfu you literally debuted before me
(Congrats a ton btw, Minho-yah & Soojin-ah)
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [14:18p]
Joong-ah, Minho-yah, Soojinnie
Congrats on all three of your debuts last year!
I was too scared to congratulate you since it’s been so long…
I’ve watched all your performances!
I’m your number one fan ❤️
(I miss all of you sooo much)
Seo Soojin 🍒 [14:21p]
Guys… I’m emotional reading these!
Thank u so much Juyeon-ah!
And yes, congrats to u Min-ah (or should I say ‘Lee Know’) & Joong-ah!
(Missing u guys lots!)
Lee Minho 🐰 [14:22p]
C’mon now Juyeonie
U can’t be ALL of our # 1 fan
Who do u like the most
We’re all friends here 😉
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [14:22p]
Ofc my favourite is @Park Seonghwa
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [14:23p]
?
You guys are cute
I miss you all
Let’s hang out if your schedules permit it 😊
Lee Minho 🐰 [14:23p]
‘PERMIT IT’
MY SEONGHWA 😭
HOW I’VE MISSED U
Don’t kill me Joong-ah, I’m just a FRIEND
I COME IN PEACE ✌️
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [14:24p]
Wtf
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [14:25p]
Guys… lol
I’m back in Korea in February!
Would you guys be free anytime then?
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [14:25p]
I’m free!
Soyeon-ah and I have a reading week mid month
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [14:25p]
👍
Seo Soojin 🍒 [14:26p]
I would love that!
I can make time
Will just have to double check my upcoming schedules
Lee Minho 🐰 [14:26p]
Same
We’d have to go somewhere priv
Can’t risk having anyone recognize us
I kno we’re not THAT big yet but still
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [14:28p]
You’re all welcome to come to my house
I still live at the same place
Lee Minho 🐰 [14:28p]
SLEEPOVER AT PARK SEONGHWA’S
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [14:28p]
Is it YOUR house???
Who said it was a sleepover???
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [14:29p]
I’m getting a weird sense of deja vu…
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [14:29p]
Lol
Seo Soojin 🍒 [14:29p]
😂😂😂
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [14:29p]
Lmfao things haven’t changed huh 😂
｡⋆˚ ღ 21 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
They find time mid February to meet up at the Park family bungalow.
It’s difficult for Hongjoong to make it work as he and ATEEZ are in the middle of promotions and music shows for TREASURE: Ep .2: Zero to One, all while preparing for their third album set to release in June.
But there’s a small break in between a variety show appearance and a stage performance that Hongjoong is able to request off.
Amid the neverending chaos of schedules, recordings, and practices, Hongjoong is restless and cannot wait for the gathering with his friends. He’s ecstatic to be able to see familiar faces, especially Seonghwa.
As Hongjoong is getting ready to leave the apartment, Mingi asks if he’s going somewhere important as his appearance seems to be dressed up nicer than usual.
“Uh, maybe,” Hongjoong answers honestly as he had put on jeans and a nicer long sleeve as opposed to his usual comfort style of sweatpants and a hoodie.
“Are you seeing someone special?” San implores from watching TV on the couch as Hongjoong is putting his shoes on. He scratches his cheek forlornly, “I mean, you know you can’t be seeing anybody, hyung…”
Mingi perks up at this and stares at Hongjoong curiously. His back is to San so he mouths the words ‘your Star?’ to Hongjoong.
Hongjoong presses his lips together but doesn’t deny it and Mingi’s eyes light up. The older alpha then peers past Mingi to give San a reassuring smile, “don’t worry San-ah, hyung isn’t doing anything stupid.”
“Of course, I trust you!” San yips happily. “We’re already so busy and stuff, so I understand you wanna go out to meet your friends! Who are you meeting?”
Hongjoong waves a hand, “er, just some old friends. Catching up and whatnot. I’ll be back before curfew.”
“Have fun!”
“Thanks, San-ah.”
Hongjoong turns to leave but Mingi grips his shoulder.
The taller alpha steps closer to Hongjoong to whisper, “hyung… Be careful. The boys and I will be here if you wanna discuss or talk about anything…”
Hongjoong takes in Mingi’s troubled expression and nods. “Thanks, Mingi-yah. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Mingi grins at him and releases his shoulder.
And then he’s out the door.
Hongjoong arrives early taking the same precautions he had a few months ago and only approaches the house when he’s sure no one has followed him.
The house is empty as Seonghwa’s older brother, Yonghyun, is away pursuing his masters and Seonghwa’s parents, Hwayoung and Seolhyun, are on a weekend trip with friends.
“Joongie,” Seonghwa greets when he opens the door. He’s wearing an oversized, fuzzy, blue and white sweater and he looks soft and cozy. There’s a sort of glow to him that Hongjoong can’t quite explain and the omega has barely closed the door before the shorter man is wrapping his arms around him. “What if someone sees?!”
“No one followed me here because I’m not famous. I was extra careful too,” Hongjoong says and presses a kiss behind Seonghwa’s ear. He notices that his arms don’t meet like they usually do around Seonghwa’s middle, but doesn’t care to give it more thought. “Mm, you smell so good, Star.”
“Why do I care more about your reputation than you?” Seonghwa shakes his head and peels Hongjoong off of him. He walks around the house to close all the drapes and blinds. “I'm glad you came early because I wanted to talk to you about something— Hey!”
Hongjoong follows Seonghwa into the kitchen where the omega is drawing the blinds for the window behind the sink. He crowds the omega against the counter and presses their chests together.
“Are you pre-heat?” Hongjoong asks. He smushes his face into the crook of Seonghwa’s neck and repeats his earlier sentiment, “you smell amazing.”
“I’m not pre-heat… Actually, I—” Seonghwa grips Hongjoong’s shoulders as the alpha nips at his collarbones. “Joongie!”
“Relax,” Hongjoong grins and snakes his hands up the front of Seonghwa’s sweater. “We have time—” He freezes when his hands splay across the omega’s bare stomach. “Star.”
Seonghwa doesn’t meet his gaze and repeats, “well, I wanted to talk to you about something…”
A thousand thoughts run through Hongjoong’s mind. He decides to confirm the situation before he jumps to conclusions. “Are you…?”
Seonghwa’s lips press into a thin line and his eyebrows furrow with worry. He takes a moment and then slowly nods while his hands come to cradle his belly. “I didn’t realize until January and I noticed I hadn’t had a heat since you came over. I saw my family doctor two weeks ago and… It’s confirmed. I’m— I’m almost four months along.”
“Is it mine?” Hongjoong blurts.
Seonghwa gives him a bewildered look. “Yes, of course it is. I’ve never been with anyone else before—” The omega stops himself and his cheeks flush pink at the admission. “Um…”
It shouldn’t make Hongjoong so elated, but it does. It’s like he’s floating on Cloud Nine as he excitedly reaches out to place his hands over Seonghwa’s on his abdomen. “Star… Me too.”
Seonghwa doesn’t smile at him and instead frowns. Hongjoong wants to kiss the frown right off of his lips but the omega is speaking before he can lean in.
“Oh, Hongjoong-ah…” The alpha tenses at the lack of nickname. “No one can know about this.”
And just like that, Hongjoong drops right out of Cloud Nine.
“What? Why not?”
“Because of… You. Or, your career.” Seonghwa takes Hongjoong’s hands into his and pushes them away from his stomach. “Hongjoong-ah, you’re bound by a contract and whether you’re famous now or not, you’re still an idol.”
Not once since they’ve known each other has Hongjoong gotten mad at Seonghwa. When they were kids and eight years old, he did get annoyed that Seonghwa would cry a lot but that was because he didn’t understand his emotions and he was, well, a kid .
It’s a foreign feeling to have anger bubble within as he listens to Seonghwa’s words.
“I haven’t told anybody yet, not even my family. I’m going to let them know soon, and I’ll tell them it was someone I met at university. We shouldn’t tell our friends and you should pretend this pregnancy doesn’t exist. The less people who know, the better.”
He flips his palms up so he’s gripping Seonghwa’s fingers harshly, “I don’t care about any of that, and you know it. Are you saying you’re going to cut me out?”
“I didn’t say that,” Seonghwa responds calmly, though his eyes are getting glassy. “But I’m doing what’s best for you. Do you have any idea what will happen if your company finds out about this? You’re violating your contract and this is a nasty scandal.”
“Then I’ll quit,” Hongjoong says firmly. “How can I leave you to handle this alone?”
“You can’t quit,” Seonghwa counters and flips it on Hongjoong. “Hongjoong-ah, your career just started, how can you give it up so easily? I’ll have the support from my family, you don’t need to worry about it—”
Hongjoong lets out a frustrated noise, “I didn’t want to be an idol in the first place! I’m sure if I talk to KQE they’ll release me from the contract. I may have to pay a fine for terminating, but—”
Seonghwa wrenches his hands out of Hongjoong’s grip. “Hongjoong-ah, you can’t—”
“Why not? We’re going to be a family, Star! What about our six pups?”
At that sentence Seonghwa pauses. He looks like he wants to reach out to Hongjoong and the alpha wants to hold him, but the tense nature of their conversation keeps them both at bay.
“I can’t let you do this,” Seonghwa breathes, “I can update you here and there, but only in person because you said your phone is monitored—”
“I told you, I don’t care about any of that, it doesn’t matter!”
“Hongjoong-ah, please—” Seonghwa whines.
“We just started to reconnect, I can’t lose you again—”
“Hongjoong-ah—”
“Stop calling me that!” Hongjoong shouts, anger finally boiling over.
It’s silent.
Seonghwa’s lower lip wobbles as he clasps his hands in front of his chest.
Seeing this action has the alpha instantly deflating. He digs the heels of his palms into his eyes in an attempt to will away the tears, takes a deep breath, and drops to his knees on the kitchen floor. He reaches out to place his hands on Seonghwa’s swollen belly and looks up at the omega pleadingly, “my Star, I… I—”
It’s his last resort. He wasn’t able to say it four months ago and he hasn’t said it since they were sixteen years old.
I love you.
Before he can get the words out, Seonghwa places one hand over Hongjoong’s and his other delicately caresses the younger man’s cheek. He blinks down Hongjoong and a few tears fall, “oh, Joongie… I know. I know.”
Hongjoong lets his own tears fall and he clutches at Seonghwa’s sweater, “please… I just—”
“I just… I don't want to have any regrets.”
Mingi’s voice echoes in his head and Hongjoong watches as Seonghwa crouches down to the floor as well.
They’re both puffy and red in the face and tears stain their cheeks. Seonghwa gathers the alpha into his arms and runs a hand down his back comfortingly. “It’s okay, Joongie. It’ll all be okay.”
Hongjoong doesn’t see how it could be and cries into Seonghwa’s shoulder.
｡⋆˚ ღ 21 ღ ⋆ ˚｡
The evening pans out smoothly despite the atomic bomb that Hongjoong and Seonghwa had to deal with prior.
They had a little bit over an hour to talk and calm themselves down before their friends arrived.
Hongjoong finally agreed not to quit. Seonghwa promised to keep him updated on the pregnancy and stated that Hongjoong was allowed to visit and spend time with the baby. As an overthinker and wanting to be extra vigilant, the omega reiterated that he would not be communicating any baby updates through text in case Hongjoong’s phone got compromised.
The alpha showed Seonghwa all of his known upcoming schedules and they deduced that the baby’s due date may fall around the time that ATEEZ’s new album, TREASURE Ep .3: One to All, is released.
Seonghwa had Hongjoong promise not to tell anyone about the pregnancy and to leave it to him to notify Hajoon and Yeongsu. Hongjoong appreciated that Seonghwa was meticulously planning out how the events would unfold, though there was an unsettling feeling brewing at the pit of his stomach.
When all of their friends arrive, they sit in the living room with glasses of wine and snacks to chat and catch up.
Minho and Soojin tell stories about funny things that have happened backstage and gripe about the hardships and many rules that come with being an idol. But overall, they rave about how they’re living their dreams.
Juyeon has a million things to say about America, both good and bad, but lets his friends know that he’s content and happy with how things are going for him.
Soyeon complains about her program and her classes but gushes about an upcoming internship she landed with Cube Entertainment, the company that Soojin is signed with.
Hongjoong keeps it short and simple and says that ATEEZ is set to release new music in the summer. He doesn’t state if he’s happy or not and downs his wine so he doesn’t have to elaborate or contribute to the conversation.
Seonghwa tells their friends his plan of becoming an elementary school teacher after graduation and uses the excuse of dieting to explain why he won’t drink any of the alcohol. His stomach is well hidden underneath his fuzzy sweater.
To Minho’s extreme disappointment, the evening doesn’t turn into a sleepover as Juyeon has to visit his grandmother early the next day, Soyeon has errands to run, and Soojin, Hongjoong, and Minho himself have a curfew to obey.
They bid their farewells and leave the Park family home with smiles on their faces and the promise of keeping in touch more regularly.
Hongjoong trudges out with the rest of his friends as he’s afraid of what he might do or say if he stays behind with Seonghwa.
On the bus ride home, he plugs in his headphones into his old iPod and blasts the music, hoping to drown out his sorrows. He stares out the window the whole way back as the passing streetlights provide a bit of comfort.
He shoves his hands into his pockets to keep them warm and as if by fate, his fingers close around a little piece of plastic as the beginning chords of a ukulele filter through the headphones.
Hongjoong nearly bashes his head against the window of the bus in shock.
Seonghwa’s guitar pick. His song.
He’s never recorded his lyrics onto it, only performed it at the Fall Harvest Music Festival, but he forgot he had all his instrumentals on here.
His mind naturally and instinctively fills in the lyrics for him.
-
If this is love, love is easy
-
Hongjoong stands up abruptly. He doesn’t know what comes over him as he’s usually a man of few words and likes to blend into the background, but he suddenly darts to the front of the bus and he shouts through his mask, “TURN THE BUS AROUND!”
The bus driver humbles him quickly, “sonny, this is public transit. There ain’t no turning around.”
“Shit, sorry,” Hongjoong mumbles and presses the ‘Request Stop’ button instead.
The bus driver shakes his head at him.
When he gets off at the next stop, Hongjoong runs back towards the Park family bungalow.
Given that it’s mid February and there’s still a bit of snow on the ground, he nearly wipes out five times but that doesn’t deter him as his song continues to play the whole time.
He gets back to Seonghwa’s house and pounds both of his fists on the door. He only pauses when he rips his headphones off and then aggressively starts to ring the doorbell.
When there’s no answer, he bangs on the door again. And then he starts knocking with one hand while jabbing the doorbell with the other.
After another few seconds of this, a voice finally screams from within.
“I’m not home!”
“Star, it’s me!” Hongjoong yells back.
There’s a long moment of silence and Hongjoong is about to knock again when the door swings open.
Seonghwa’s face is streaked with tears and he’s holding a giant wad of tissues to his nose as he sniffles into it. There’s something clutched in his other hand but he’s still the most beautiful sight to behold, even if he’s crying.
Hongjoong doesn’t wait for Seonghwa to fully take in that he’s come back and he rushes into the house and shucks his boots off in a hurry. He tosses his face mask, cap, and glasses to the floor and races down the hall.
“Joongie!” Seonghwa calls out to him as he disappears towards the omega’s bedroom. “What are you doing?”
Hongjoong searches the room and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that Seonghwa hasn’t moved the ukulele from its spot in between his bookcases. He grabs the neck of the instrument and struts back out.
Seonghwa follows him back towards the living room and Hongjoong stands in front of him with determination.
“Star, I have something to say. Er, I have something to play. For you.”
“Huh?” Seonghwa tilts his head in confusion, hands still clenched, holding tissues and something else in front of his chest. “What are you—”
Hongjoong strums and then grimaces. “Oh fuck, this is very out of tune…”
The alpha is now worried about his romantic adrenaline fizzling out as he tweaks the head of the ukulele.
Seonghwa embarrassedly shuffles towards him and places a hand on Hongjoong’s tuning hand. “Joongie, what’s going on? What are you doing here?”
“I—” Hongjoong strums and tunes. And then again. “I need you to hear this.”
“Joongie…”
“Star,” Hongjoong finishes tuning the instrument and then carefully places it on the floor.
He guides Seonghwa to sit on the couch and then he pulls the armchair to be positioned directly in front of him. The alpha picks the ukulele back up and sits down on the armchair as he takes the snow white pick out of his pocket.
“Good evening,” Hongjoong says, replicating that night at the Fall Harvest Music Festival. His face flushes when he’s met with Seonghwa’s round, twinkling doe eyes looking at him curiously. He really feels as though he’s been transported back into his sixteen year old self. “This is a song I wrote for my Star, who shines the brightest in the sky. I would give you the moon if I could.”
Hongjoong begins to strum and play .
-
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do-do-do
Today, I’m laughing the clouds away
I hear what the flowers say
And drink every drop of rain
And I see places that I have been
In ways that I’ve never seen
My side of the grass is green
Oh, I can’t believe that it’s so simple
It feels so natural to me
If this is love, then love is easy
It’s the easiest thing to do
If this is love then loves completes me
Cause it feels like I’ve been missing you
A simple equation with no complications
To leave you confused
If this is love, love, love
Mm, it’s the easiest thing to do
Do, do-do-do, do, do
Do-do-do, do do
Do-do-do
Do you feel the way that I do?
Do I turn your grey skies blue
And make dirty streets look new?
And the birds sing
Tweedily tweet dee dee dee
Tweedily dee dee dee
And now I know exactly what they mean
Oh, I can’t believe that it’s so simple
It feels so natural to me
If this is love, then love is easy
It’s the easiest thing to do
If this is love then loves completes me
Cause it feels like I’ve been missing you
A simple equation with no complications
To leave you confused
If this is love, love, love
Mm, it’s the easiest thing to do
What is it you want, Star?
What do you want?
You want the moon?
Just say the word now
And I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down
Hey, that's a pretty good idea
I'll give you the moon, Star
-
“Star,” Hongjoong says when he’s strumming the last chord and tries not to choke on his words. “Loving you… It’s easy. It’s easy for me because I’m sure of it, sure of us. You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and before you say that we’re young and I’m an idol and all that mumbo jumbo, I want you to know that you’ll always be my Star and I’m going to take care of you and our family.”
Seonghwa is bawling by the time Hongjoong finishes.
Hongjoong lays the ukulele down beside the armchair and nearly eats carpet in his haste to vault himself over the coffee table and get to the omega. “Star, please don’t cry—”
“Don’t cry!” Seonghwa sobs incredulously and hits Hongjoong’s shoulder when the alpha encircles his arms around him. “I’m crying because of you! This is your fault! Stupid alpha!”
“Stupid?!” Hongjoong blinks dumbly but doesn’t relinquish his hold on the older man.
“Ugh,” Seonghwa wipes at his face with his fuzzy sleeves and reaches around Hongjoong to grab the tissue box on the coffee table. After he blows his nose and places his used tissues to the side, he brings both of his hands up in front of Hongjoong’s face and unfurls his fingers.
Cradled tenderly in his palms is an eraser.
Specifically, the Darth Vader eraser Hongjoong nonchalantly gave him when they were twelve and in the sixth grade. It’s pristine and doesn’t look like Seonghwa used it at all and definitely kept good care of it all these years.
“I’ve liked you since we were young,” Seonghwa confesses, “you were always so cool and bold, yet uncaring. You… You weren’t afraid to speak your mind. I admired— I admire you a lot.”
Hongjoong watches as Seonghwa looks at the eraser fondly.
“Then you came over to my house and you showcased your talent and were so passionate about music. You just kept getting cooler and cooler that I thought for sure you’d outgrow me.” Seonghwa holds up the eraser. “But then you gave me this and I knew.”
Hongjoong swallows his own tears back and replies in a watery voice, “knew what?”
Seonghwa, with those eyes that Hongjoong has been thinking about everyday, looks at him affectionately. “That I love you.” He giggles nervously, “and that I didn’t care if you left me behind or didn’t feel the same, as long as you got to live up to your potential I would support you from the sidelines regardless. The reality did kind of hit me when I thought you liked Soyeon, though.”
“Ew,” Hongjoong says automatically and he and Seonghwa look at each other before bursting into laughter.
When the tears and laughter subside, Seonghwa returns the hug and wraps his arms around Hongjoong’s shoulders.
“You’re my moon, Joongie. You don’t have to lasso it down for me.”
“Star,” Hongjoong utters and leans his forehead against Seonghwa as his hands come to hold the omega’s belly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
｡⋆˚ ღ Epilogue ღ ⋆ ˚｡
In the end, Seonghwa gives birth two months early in April a little bit after his twenty-first birthday. The reason for the premature birth is the fact that he gives birth to twin boys.
It’s a home birth to allow Hongjoong to be there by his side, though the alpha is still decked out in his generic baggy clothing, old non-prescription glasses, face mask, and ball cap covering his eyes.
The family doctor is called in and Seolhyun, who’s a nurse, assists. Hwayoung can’t stop doting over Seonghwa while Yonghyun helps his beta mother grab blankets and anything Seonghwa calls out for.
Hajoon cries more than both Seonghwa and Hongjoong combined throughout the whole process and Yeongsu also has to excuse himself every now and then to collect himself. Bumjoong stands behind Hongjoong the whole time on standby in case his brother faints or gets overwhelmed.
They name their children Minjae and Junmin and as promised, they keep the knowledge of Hongjoong as their father under wraps to only their immediate family members. Seonghwa lies to their friends that it was some other alpha and Hongjoong spends every break he gets with Seonghwa and the twins.
Seonghwa opts to complete his military service when the twins are two years old and have been fully weaned off of breastfeeding. He entrusts them to his and Hongjoong’s parents and is granted a shortened service given he is their primary caregiver. When he returns, he lands a job at a local elementary school and enrolls the twins into daycare.
Over the course of the next few years, ATEEZ gains traction. They sell out albums and concerts, their fan meets are always packed, they book several show appearances, and they even get to the point of conducting several world tours.
Hongjoong continues to produce and compose, and if every album has a borderline love song that Hongjoong writes with Seonghwa in mind, no one has to know. Though Mingi gives him a lot of sly looks during recording.
The alpha buys Seonghwa and the twins a house (under Seonghwa’s name) near the elementary school Seonghwa teaches at to get settled into. It also represents a promise to his family that he’ll eventually be moving in with them. At the same time, he heads straight to a luxury jewellery store and makes a purchase with his alpha father’s credit card so it can’t be traced back to him, and immediately transfers the funds back into his father’s account as he leaves.
After years of fame, success, and unforgettable memories, KQ Entertainment announces that ATEEZ will be going on an indefinite hiatus following the celebration of their 10th anniversary and expiration of their contracts. It comes with a personalized statement from each member expressing their plans to complete their military services and then either re-sign to return to music or… Get married and start families.
Hongjoong completes his military service just before the twins’ ninth birthdays. Upon his return, he calls for a meeting with Iseul, who had been promoted to their manager shortly after their second album, Kyuwook, the CEO of KQ Entertainment, as well as Yonghwan ‘Eden’ and Kyungmun ‘Maddox’.
“I would like to resign,” Hongjoong states with no room for question. “I wanted to thank you all for everything you’ve done for me, but I’m thinking about my future and starting a new chapter in my life.”
They’re disappointed and try to negotiate with Hongjoong, but the alpha turns down every offer they have to give. Eventually, they relinquish Hongjoong from ATEEZ and employ him at the company to continue to produce instead, happy to have him behind the scenes if not as an artist.
The ATEEZ members aren’t surprised at all. But Wooyoung, San, and Yunho still burst into tears and Yeosang and Jongho try to convince him otherwise. Mingi beams at him knowingly. They back down when they see that Hongjoong has already made up his mind and wish him all the best with starting his family. Hongjoong promises to help them with any future musical endeavours they wish to pursue and knows he’s made friends— no, brothers for life out of this idol experience.
Wooyoung, San, and Yeosang form a trio and Jongho becomes a soloist after their services and all four re-sign a different contract with KQE. Hongjoong writes for them and is impressed with their growth within a new dynamic from their band.
Mingi finally confesses to Yunho and both alphas, like Hongjoong, decide to lay low on the radar to be able to embark on their own romance. KQ Entertainment also offers Mingi a producer position in the company, and Yunho is employed as the head dance choreographer for the new and young trainees filtering in.
Hongjoong congratulates Mingi on a long time coming and, while helping the couple move into their new apartment, asks if he has any regrets with how everything played out.
“No, I don’t. You were right, hyung. Everything is perfect now.”
“You should perform your song for him again. You know, privately,” Hongjoong suggests and Mingi smiles at him.
“I will. What about you, hyung? Did you reconnect with your Star?”
A weight burns in Hongjoong’s pocket as he gives Mingi the most jovial smile he’s given in the past ten years. “Yeah. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”
When Hongjoong arrives at the house, he gets a face full of cake.
“DO NOT THROW FOOD!!!” He hears a voice, definitely Seonghwa, scream from the kitchen. “MINJAE, JUNMIN, DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU—”
“Abeoji!” Two smaller voices scream in delight and then he feels two weights on each of his legs. “You’re home!”
After he’s wiped away most of the cream from his eyes, he looks down to see his sons blinking up at him with equally as much cream all over their faces. Junmin has a strawberry slice nestled in his hair and Minjae’s nose looks like it’s plugged up with sponge cake.
Hongjoong grins at them and ruffles their (cream covered) hair. “Happy birthday, kiddos!”
Seonghwa emerges from the kitchen.
The omega is gorgeous and Hongjoong would like to know if the butterflies will ever stop fluttering in his stomach when he looks at Seonghwa. His hair is now long enough to tie into a little half ponytail and he’s wearing a Star Wars themed apron Hongjoong bought him for Christmas. The whole image is a bit ruined by the chef knife in his hand.
“Joongie?” Seonghwa says, shocked. “You’re home?”
“I quit,” Hongjoong says bluntly and tries to make his way over to Seonghwa, but it proves to be impossible with two nine year old children clinging to each of his ankles. “I mean, I didn’t quit quit. Well, I’m officially no longer an idol, but KQE has opened a position for me as a producer.”
“Joongie…” Seonghwa frowns and walks over to the alpha. “You can’t—”
Hongjoong grabs the omega’s non-knife-wielding-hand and squeezes, “please don’t tell me I can’t. I’m not in my twenties anymore, Star. I’ve lived that life, I’ve experienced what it has to offer, I’ve made that money. And now I want to spend time with you. A lot of time with you. And our six pups.”
“We don’t have six—” Seonghwa flushes a pretty pink colour when he seems to realize what Hongjoong is implying. “Oh.”
“Now, I’ll take this,” Hongjoong maneuvers the knife out of Seonghwa’s other hand and places it on the shoe rack. “Before I ask what’s happening here?” The alpha gestures to Minjae and Junmin, who are still clinging to his legs.
The twins explode and chatter over each other.
“Abeoji, Minjae said I had blow out the candles faster so he could eat the cake, but I wanted to think about my wish first and then he blew them out anyway!”
“Abeoji, Junmin sucks!”
“Then he ate some of my slice when he knows strawberry shortcake is my favourite!”
“It’s both our favourites! You’re just gonna have to be faster, Slow-min!”
Junmin kicks at his brother, “you’re so mean! Mean-jae!”
“Fuck off!” Minjae kicks back.
“Hey! Language!” Hongjoong barks and both boys’ mouths snap shut. He hoists the twins up and off his legs, one at a time, and crouches in front of them. “Young men mind their manners. Right, Minjae-yah? Right, Junmin-ah?”
The boys hang their heads in shame. “Yes, abeoji.”
“Jae-yah, apologize to your brother. He’s really upset by your actions and words.”
Minjae glances at Junmin, who’s sniffling a little bit with his hands clasped in front of his chest. The older twin sighs and says sincerely, “I’m sorry, Minnie-yah. I really love strawberry shortcake too, so I got greedy. I shouldn’t have eaten your cake.”
“Min-ah?”
Junmin unclasps his hands to link an arm with his brother. He uses his other hand to wipe at his snotty nose. “I’m sorry too, Jae-yah. Next year, I won’t leisurely blow out the candles.”
“‘Leisurely’?” Minjae frowns.
“It means ‘slowly’,” Hongjoong supplies and Minjae perks up and yanks on his brother’s linked arm.
“Minnie-yah, where’s that dictionary halmeoni and nana bought us? I want to look up the word ‘delectable’ that appa said about abeoji when he was watching his concert in Europe—”
“Tasty! It means tasty, I think!”
“Oh, no, boys please—” Seonghwa grimaces and runs after the boys but they’re both already disappearing up the stairs. He slowly turns around and Hongjoong is already sidling up to him with a shit eating grin on his face. “About that—”
“Delectable, huh?”
“They’re nine,” Seonghwa pouts. “And I really thought they’d inherited your seemingly bad memory and would’ve forgotten about that word.”
Hongjoong snakes an arm around the omega’s waist and peppers kisses along the column of his neck. “That’s okay, Star, I think you’re delectable too—” He suckles on the spot just below the omega’s ear.
Seonghwa lets out a high pitched whimper and then he glares at the alpha, “oh my God, let’s at least go to the bedroom!”
“Sure! We need to make four more kids anyway—” Hongjoong is already starting to shed his jacket and sweater and unbuckles his pants.
“At least get inside the bedroom before you start stripping!”
“Don’t worry, Star, leave the door locking to me!”
“ J-Joongie! ”
They manage all of two quick romps before Seonghwa says that they need to tuck the twins in.
“But they’re nine years old,” Hongjoong says, confused. Hajoon and Yeongsu never tucked him in bed, or was it because he didn’t let them…?
“Kim Hongjoong, you kiss those boys goodnight,” Seonghwa demands.
After wishing the twins another happy birthday and ensuring they’re asleep, Hongjoong closes their door and shuffles back into Seonghwa’s, or, their room. He can hear the shower in the en suite bathroom and decides to prepare to wash up and get ready for bed as well.
He walks to the vanity to remove all his earrings and rings when he notices a string of pictures lining the wall beside the mirror that wasn’t there before his enlistment.
It’s a simple yarn-like string with cute, white metal clothespins holding the pictures up. Upon closer inspection, Hongjoong sees that it’s a bunch of his photocards from the ATEEZ albums. There are old ones from their debut album, and newer ones from Golden Hour.
Looking at the photocards has Hongjoong remembering the box in his jacket pocket and the alpha rushes over to his jacket to pull out said box. He flits around the room to set up random things and his heart hammers against his ribcage when he hears the water turn off.
When Seonghwa exits the bathroom towelling off his hair, he’s greeted with the sight of the lights turned off and the moonlight streaming in. A single candle burns on the vanity and Hongjoong stands in the center of the room as rigid as a plank board.
“Uh, Joongie? Are you okay?” Seonghwa asks and hangs the towel on the hook behind the bathroom door.
“Park Seonghwa,” Hongjoong grits out and shoves the onyx box in his hands into the omega’s chest. “I—”
“What’s this?” Seonghwa peers down at the box and takes it from the shorter man. He lets out an audible gasp when he turns the box over in his hands. “This is my box!” He fiddles with it in his hands and takes in the little stitching details and the gold lining the seams. “You kept it?”
“Of course I did…” Hongjoong licks his lips. “Open it.”
Seonghwa does as told and then stares at what’s inside, unblinking and unmoving.
After thirty seconds of nothing, Hongjoong speaks up, “S-Star, a few years ago, I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m ready to make that promise a reality. I bought this when I bought this house and—” The alpha chokes back a sob, trying to keep it together. “Star, will you marry me?”
Seonghwa gives him a bug eyed stare, and Hongjoong briefly feels like he’s nine years old again when Seonghwa looks at him like that.
The omega’s eyes begin to tear up and his cheeks flush pink as his lower lips wobbles. “A-Aren’t you… Aren’t you supposed to get down on one knee?”
“Fuck, really?” Hongjoong lets out a watery laugh. “I thought they only did that crap in movies.”
“I’m telling your appa you said ‘fuck’—”
“Star—”
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”
Seonghwa practically tackles him to close the distance and the sheer force of it knocks Hongjoong onto the bed.
“Star, I haven’t showered yet, I’m—”
“Shut up and take off your clothes, you owe me seven more pups—”
“Seven! Star, maybe we should— Okay! The pants are coming off, they’re coming off!”
The entire room smells like strawberries and Hongjoong couldn’t be happier.
｡⋆˚ ღ Extra ღ ⋆ ˚｡
Year of the Tiger + Juyeon the Ox - 98z [Group Chat]
Park Seonghwa 🌟 [15:33p]
Good afternoon!
Now that Joongie and I are married and expecting…
I thought I’d come clean and let you know…
Jaejae and Minnie are actually Hongjoong’s
Hongjoong is the father
I’m sorry for not telling you earlier
There were contract things and this and that
Surprise!
Lee Minho 🐰 [15:33p]
Oh, our beautiful Park Seonghwa…
Did u rly think that was a surprise?!
Joong-ah, u can’t fool me!
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [15:34p]
Stfu Lee Minho, it’s too early for your shenanigans
Jeon Soyeon 🦁 [15:34p]
My brother, r u aware that it’s half past 3PM?!
Hwa-yah, I rly think u should reconsider this man as ur husband…
Kim Hongjoong 🎸 [15:34p]
Who asked you?!
Seo Soojin 🍒 [15:34p]
Idk about u guys, but this feels right
Congrats on ur third baby, Hwa-yah!
Lee Juyeon 🏀 [15:35p]
Some things just don’t change
｡⋆˚ ღ FIN ღ ⋆ ˚｡