Work Text:
The ballroom’s extravagance was apparent through the high arches, flowing silk banners, and towering windows that breathed streams of moonlight– the efforts reeked of a petty, childish overstriving, one Em found exhausting. The tirade of careless, self-absorbed bodies that stunk of bitter, oil filled puddles– the scent of humans– didn’t help. The constant brush of skin and fabric against Em, grazes of thousands of tiny needles, only further strained her fried nerves. The elegant music sounded like whiny, screechs of a creature dying. The air was suffocating– all of it was. This had been her plan, but it clearly evidenced self-hatred as she had been the one to place herself in the midst of this torment. Em hated it. Her fingers itched to release the tingling sensation from her soul into purple flames that would burn all that scarred her to the ground. She found comfort amongst dying things as she longed to embrace the smell of embers and the scratch it would carry along her throat–
A gentle pressure on her hands whisked Em out of the isolation of her own thoughts. She glanced up from the tile floor to see a larger, warm, golden brown hand carefully encompassing her own. Viktor’s skin glowed with the silver moonlight and her many scars were illuminated like long, graceful swipes of a paintbrush. Em looked up to meet Viktor’s gaze. She had to strain her neck as Viktor stood nearly a foot above Em but despite the height difference, Viktor didn’t darkly tower over Em, casting a shadow that reached to claw Em away. She simply walked beside her, shielding Em from the endless stream of other figures. Upon feeling Em’s gaze, Viktor glanced down at her– warm amber eyes speckled with gold met Em’s.
“Want to ditch this place?” A small smile made the scar above Viktor's lips twitch.
Em found it astounding. Just a few seconds ago, she longed to burn away every contact yet now she desired nothing more than for her fingertips to graze that scar. To feel the electricity that shocked her everytime she felt Viktor's surprisingly soft skin. She wanted to touch all of Viktor's numerous scars: the ones that littered her arms and hands until every part of Viktor was hers as she would feel the same comfort with Viktor's skin as her own.
“So you finally remembered that we both dislike people?” Em settled for a snarky comment. She wanted to keep this budding warmth down in the pits of her chest. Suppress these new flames that threatened to flare and burn up her rational. Maybe with this response, Viktor would back away and Em would regain some of her mind. yet.. her shoulders tensed at that thought. She liked the warmth that coursed through her, blooming from Viktor’s close body heat. She wanted to hate it— to feel the same rage she felt with everyone else. That rage allowed her to quickly shove any figure away so why did Viktor have to be a variable to these long defined rules? Why did she have to be so close?
“I almost forgot with those people skills you’ve got.” Em glanced up at Viktor and immediately regretted it. Her piercing eyes had already been examining Em, looking right through her. “You’ve got the whole room trapped.” Viktor giggled. It was a bright sound with light that encompassed Em’s already aching heart. Every thump felt like it would kill her as her heart rapidly banged against her ribs. Em struggled to elongate her short breaths as it couldn’t be determined if one of them would be her last.
“Just look around!” Em obeyed Viktor’s suggestion and glanced around the room that had almost ceased to exist in the short moments when it felt like the world only consisted of two. She was immediately caught by the uncomfortable pressure that quickly resurfaced, bursting through the dam that Viktor had briefly created.
Upon a closer glance, beyond the waves of frustration that arose within Em from various annoyances, she observed several pairs of eyes on her. Her jaw clenched involuntarily with this realization as the flame in her chest rose, threatening to burst out of her and scorch the ballroom to the ground. Em almost opened the gates to release it, struggling to balance her longtime goal and short-time desire.
Why did they have to be looking at her– those idiotic, nosy, useless creatures. She could almost feel the cold shiver of a metal knife thrust into her back. The blood droplets would be scarlet gems against the white tile floor; she smiled at the image of the difficulty they would create for whoever had to wipe them up.
Calloused fingers intertwined with Em’s. They carefully separated Em’s glittery, piercing nails from the cuts they had begun to leave indented in her palms. Viktor stared towards the distance, a faint pink blossoming on her cheeks.
“Let’s get out of here..” Em let Viktor guide them, dancing around the crowds.
As she strolled behind Viktor, for once she let the tension she had carried for years ease. Em let her footsteps retreat from the tiresome stride they had taken in desperation for safety and justice. She closed her eyes letting them rest from the constant glance, searching for a malicious grin or a monstrous creature lurking in the shadows. Somehow Em knew Viktor wouldn’t allow anything to touch them. For once, she let herself trust in that knowledge.
Em opened her eyes as the cool breeze that caressed her face. She was faced with the bright speckles of stars that surrounded the crescent moon. Viktor stood at the edge of the balcony, leaning on the sculpted quartz railing that was littered with greenery from twisting vines and flowers. She gazed at the moon with glossed eyes that soured the scene. Em wished she didn’t notice these small details so she could just admire the highlights the silver moonlight left on Viktor's skin. She carefully approached, searching Viktor's expression. A quick glance to the moon immediately highlighted the problem.
Em tried to keep her gaze on the moon as she stood beside Viktor.
“It must hurt.” Her voice was loud in the silence of the night. Em paused, giving Viktor the opportunity to interject. She didn’t.
“Thank you.” These words came from her heart without the intent to gain a reaction. This was a direct violation of Em’s self-established rules. Words were meant to gain a clear goal, yet she didn’t know what the goal of these words were. Perhaps they could be attributed to gaining another strong ally for her plan but.. Em didn’t exactly desire that. Not to say another ally wouldn’t be a positive change yet Em wanted something else. She wanted to see Viktor smile again– to not fear the tears that threatened to stream down her face. She wanted her to understand how truly grateful Em was to her.
Em considered channeling Evelyn, recreating herself into a replica but the words that spilled out of her mouth felt uncontrolled; her thoughts couldn’t reach them to manipulate and twist them.
“You offered to join me despite the history you have with this place.” Viktor was silent; perhaps she was in a world of her own memories rather than standing next to Em. Em continued.
“You chose to come in order to keep Zara and Elliot comfortable even though you’re just as uncomfortable.” She recalled the way Viktor had observed Elliot's trembling shoulders beyond the small girl's warm, beaming smile. Yet Viktor tensed at the statement. It struck Em’s heart. Would the other girl rage at Em or worse, hold discomfort in her posture when in her
presence?
“I-I’m sorry.” The words were almost a whisper, soft enough to be carried away by the breeze.
“I’m not as good with words as you think.”
“I doubt it.” Suddenly, the conversation was no longer just Em talking to herself. The realization froze her in place. Viktor's face remained turned outwards, away from Em.
“I think you’re better than I think– better than we both think..”
With those vague words, Em’s self-binding rational finally shattered. The breeze chilled her open shoulders but it was unnoticeable to Em, just like everything else. Em’s response streamed out of Em’s lips so quickly that she almost didn't realize that it had been intended to be a thought.
“So are you.” Em’s heart stopped as Viktor turned to face her. The world finally fell silent as blood rushed to Em’s face and ears. Viktor's eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. Em silently reminded herself to provide more compliments if this one stunned Viktor so much. At some point, she forgot that it wasn’t only the two of them in the world. The reason why they were here had dropped from Em’s mind as she found herself unconsciously drifting closer. Viktor's eyes traced Em’s face as they stood only inches away. Em couldn’t remember the last time she had been this close to anyone– in fact, she couldn’t remember anything at all. Her long-held goal was replaced with a new one that threatened to twist her entire world into something new and frightening. Em decided that she would let it.
“Can I..?” She couldn’t even figure out what she was asking as her entire body felt foreign in this strange new world. Then Viktor kissed her. And Em’s world imploded.
Viktor's lips were soft and hesitant; they touched Em’s as if they were asking a question. Em answered that question by pushing back against Viktor's lips, embracing and welcoming the touch. As she leaned into it she realized, she was touching that scar. The warmth inside her fizzed and threatened to spill over, drowning her. Em reached up and clasped her arms around Viktor's neck, letting their bodies drift even closer. Her skin felt like it was burning from where Viktor's fingers touched her face, brushing the curls that decorated her cheeks. Viktor's lips felt perfect, like they belonged– something Em didn’t know she needed so desperately. It quenched a thirst she didn’t know she had.
The world was burned away by the rapid torrent of Em’s emotions. The flames in her soul had been reignited and were flaring out of her into the world that seemed so far away. How could such a small touch incapacitate her like this? How was she so easy to shatter? It felt so dangerous yet so right and Em wanted it so badly. She would gladly watch the world go up in flames until it was just her and Viktor. She would happily live in this moment for all eternity.
Em blinked open her eyes and observed colors she had forgotten existed, maybe they had never existed before this moment. She watched Viktor's long, loose curls blow in the wind, gently catching one in between her fingers. The strawberry blond complemented Em’s chocolate skin, she admired the color combination. She let her hands graze over all of Viktor's exposed scars as she felt her back touch the cold railing: she let her legs press against Viktor’s, brushing her interlocked fingers against streaks of raised skin. It left Em overheating as not even hours ago, this had been all she wanted. It still was and Em didn’t mind if it continued to be.
When the two girls broke away, it was unlikely that more than a minute had passed, yet it left Em surrounded by uncomfortable yet desirable new things. Her world was shattered and her various lists had been shredded and taped back together with new information. Her goals seemed to be almost secondary in this moment. Em wanted this girl to be hers so badly– images flashed through her mind. She wanted all of those girls so badly it hurt, leaving a pounding in her head. This brief moment had left the deeply compressed desires ripped to the surface and spilled on the ground as possibilities rather than something unreachable. It was so reachable and Em so desperately needed to reach it.
“I-I’m so sorry!”
Viktor's frantic voice ripped her back to the present. An uncontrollable smile was stretched on her face.
“No.” Her voice was soft despite the emotions overflowing within her.
“I liked it..” Em stretched up and kissed Viktor's cheek. When she moved backwards far enough to observe Viktor's face, she grinned at the pink that was rapidly blooming on her cheeks and the tips of her ears.
“Feel free to do it again.” With that remark, Em gently interlocked their fingers. Viktor raised an eyebrow as she looked down at their intertwined hands then back at Em’s face. Em nearly choked as she burst into laughter at Viktor’s confused expression.
“We’re at a ball! Whether or not the mission succeeds we have to dance at least once!”
Em waited for the ‘I don’t dance’, but it never came. Instead, Viktor guided one of Em’s hands to her waist inviting her to take the lead. She did.
For once the two girls forgot their troubles and the pressure on their shoulders as they glided and swayed to a silent melody. The memories of the dance lessons she had been required to take, resurfaced, but for once, Em actually enjoyed it. She loved gazing into Viktor's eyes and touching her skin. Within their peaceful world, it seemed impossible that Em had been so uncomfortable and filled with fury only earlier in the night. But despite the discomfort large gatherings left Em in, she would never regret this night.