Remember Me

by DarkDream37

Summary:

A year has passed since Glinda and Elphaba parted ways. Now, Elphaba returns, stronger and ready to negotiate with the Wizard, but when Glinda enters - her once bright eyes blank and lifeless. Elphaba realizes she's already lost more than she ever imagined.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Glinda winced in pain as she was forcefully pulled into the dimly lit room. It had been weeks… or months since she had last seen Elphaba. Glinda stayed behind a decision, she now wholeheartedly regretted. Back then, she had believed she was doing the right thing. She had convinced herself it was for the best.

She should have known better. Now, she was unsure why she even made that choice. She was selfish and a coward. She should’ve come with her. She knew that now. It didn’t change anything. It was too late now.

Glinda had no idea how much time is passed since their goodbye. She had been kept in a cell, swallowed by the darkness. Without daylight, it was hard to tell the hours apart. She was not granted any Distraction. The Isolation was suffocating. They wanted her to suffer. Food was rare, her body weak. Sleep never came.

She hadn’t expected this. She was Glinda Upland after all, one of Oz’s most prestigious citizens. She had been celebrated, adored. Never in a million years had she imagined they would treat her like this.

The two guards at her sides held her arms tightly in their grasp. There was no space for her to move or even think about fleeing. The room was dark with a small window, showing the night sky, indicating that it was night. Glinda was pushed into the room, collapsing to her knees.

Her once bright pink dress was now tattered and ripped at the ends. Her skin was pale and bruised. Her once shiny golden looks were now damp and messy. Under any other circumstance, she would have been mortified by her appearance. Now, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

A man stood before her, just beyond the reach of the dim light. Tall, unmoving and eyes glued to her. She was unable to make out his face. She only felt his body, towering over her. It was intimidating. She steadied herself on her hands as she looked up at him. The air in the room felt heavy and suffocating.

“Glinda” he said in a strange tone. His voice, confident but also with an almost mocking gentleness. Glinda was taking aback by him. She knew that voice. And yet, something about it now made her blood run cold.

The Wizard.

He seemed so nice back when her and Elphaba were talking to him. She saw his fingers ghosting over the edges of a metal chair. Her pulse quickened. What was happening.

“I hope they have been treating you well, my dear” he added, sending a shiver down her spine. The words were sickly sweet, coated in false kindness.

“Let me go” she replied, almost inaudible. It was a plea. A demand. “Oh Glinda” He chuckled lightly at her request. “I fear we cannot do that” he added. He started moving closer towards her and kneeled down beside her, to be on the same level as her.

She now saw his face and the way his eyes never left her face. The light casted deep shadows under his eyes. “You would only go back to her, wouldn’t you?” he asked her. Glinda did not reply. Of course, she would. Of course, she would go back to Elphaba.

But he would never allow her to do that. She just looked at him intimidated and unsure of his intentions. Her silence was answer enough for him.

He offered her a warm smile, that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He noticed her struggle and the way her eyes were looking up at him in fear. His eyes remained on her, sharp and without empathy.

“I am glad you stayed” he added as he went to reach out for her face. Her instincts kicked in and she flinched back. The guards behind her moved. He shook his head in return and lowered his hand.

Glinda felt the guards approaching her from behind. The Wizard stood back up and took a step in the opposite direction as the guards reached out for her arms and pulled her back up as well. The Wizard motioned at the metal chair. “You know Glinda, I cannot let you go…” he said, his voice laced with artificial sadness.

Glinda’s eyes widen in fear as the guards pulled her towards the chair. “No- wait-” her voice raw with desperation. She began to move in their grip, trying to escape. Without success.

She was pushed in the chair with force. As she tried to move back up, she was pushed down with a hand on her chest. Her body was pinned down against the cold metal. She winced in pain and tried to push back.

“I need you here, you are the only thing keeping her at bay”. He added as he stepped closer. She was still struggling against their harsh grips. The other guard moved to secure her wrists as she tried to free herself. “You’re a coward” she hissed at the Wizard.

The guard ensured that Glinda was unable to free herself as her wrists were bind to the chair. She moved them in attempts to get away. It only made the pain she was enduring worse. The bindings tightening around her skin. She kicked with her legs trying to keep the off. The guards forcefully held them back and secured them as well. Glinda whined in pain, her weakened state only contributing to the pain she was experiencing.

“I’m not a coward Glinda, I’m only trying to protect the citizens of Oz” he said with a smile directed at her. Glinda shook her head as tears began to form in her eyes. “She was right!” she replied, trying to hide her shaking voice. “She was right and you know it! You can’t stop her!”.

“Oh, I can” he smirked. He stepped back slightly to grab something from a nearby table. Glinda had not recognized this earlier. The surface gleamed with strange metal instruments. “And I will”. He returned with a few wires in his hands. Glinda looked around in panic. There must be a way to escape this. “What are you doing?”. Her voice was full of pain and fear.

“The less you fight, the nicer I’ll be” he added with a smirk. Panic clawed up her throat. He stopped right in front of her. “I’m helping you let go” he pulled the wires in his hands apart. Two small patches were at the end of each. He reached out to place them on her temples.

Glinda jerked her head away, trying to twist out of his reach. Her wrists were restrained, not allowing her to move far. She tried to fight. Tried to move her legs. There was nothing, nothing she could do to keep him off of her. Hot tears were rolling down her cheeks. She just wanted it to stop. One of the guards grabbed her head, fingers digging into her scalp, forcing her to be still. “Don’t” she winced.

The Wizard smiled as he placed the patches on each of her temples. He took his time. Glinda squeezed her eyes shut. She cried as he moved back. What was happening. What was he doing. Thoughts were racing through her head. Please stop, she thought. His eyes lingered on her as he moved to the small machine in his hands.

“Please just let me go” she cried out. He shook his head and pouted at her. It made her feel sick. “Glinda, I am doing what’s best for you”. He looked back at the machine in his hands as he motioned the guard to step back from her. She was moving head trying to somehow free herself from the wires. “One day you will understand” he smiled. Her heartbeat was erratic.

Before she could say another word, a sudden jolt went through her. Sharp and unnatural. A flash of white behind her eyes. Reality slipping away. A sharp pain going straight through her. Like a cold wire pressing into her skull from the inside. A strangled scream ripped from her throat. Her body tensing from the impact.

The Wizard looked at the girl moving in the chair as she screamed out in agonizing pain. After a few moments he shifted a switch. Glinda sunk back into the chair. Glimpses of her memory fading. Exhausted and drained. Unable to move. Her breathing heavy and uneven. Out of sync with reality. A heaviness lingered behind in her skull. Her fingers twitching.

“Glinda?” he asked as he inspected her limb form. Her eyes disoriented. He stepped closer and kneeled in front of her. His smile calm, pleased. Her vision was blurry. “what… what are you doing?” she asked in a broken whisper. He smiled at his outcome “I’m only helping you out dear”

He stepped back again. His fingers hovering over his machine. Glinda’s eyes stayed on him in fear. “No-“ she whispered, her voice barely audible. He turned the switch again.

Her screams echoed through the palace. The electric shocks radiating through her body. Her thoughts fractured. Her body tensing. Sharp pulsing pain. He kept going. He watched. He didn’t stop.

A strange hollow stillness settled over her as he finally turned out the switch. He body lifeless and almost unconscious laying in the chair. Tulips… Her mind was shattered. Hands, reaching out for her… but not his… no it was different... Her head was reeling.

He pulled the wires from her temples. The guards loosened the restraints. Glinda didn’t fight, she couldn’t. It felt like her soul had left her body, she could not even feel her own limbs. She was still twitching from the shocks.

“That’s enough for today” the Wizard motioned to the guards. He kneeled down in front of her. His thumb brushing over her tear streaked face. His expression pleased. He was slowly reaching his goal. Glinda would soon be gone. He moved back up. One of the guards forcefully picked her up. Her head hanging down.

Glinda’s mind was foggy. Pieces of herself slipping through her fingers. He carried her out of the room. Back to her cell, her new home. Glinda couldn’t think. It was like he just erased part of her. She still felt the electric pain rushing through her limbs. This was just the beginning… he would not stop until he took everything from her.

Chapter 2: No One to Remember

Elphaba traced the paper with her long and delicate fingers. The drawn picture of her showed the long fingernails and made her look intimidating. Her eyes were red, and her eyebrows scrunched together. The usual propaganda, the Wizard liked to spread.

He was scared. Over the last couple of months Elphaba had gained herself quite the reputation. She freed a lot of animals from his grasp and ensured their safety. They were helping her in return. She stayed hidden, making sure not to get caught or seen by anyone.

It was hard, always having to look over her shoulder. The more her reputation grew, the more danger she was in. At least she was getting things done. This was not how she planned her future to be like, but she surely made a difference. Something she would not have been able to if she stayed, if she stayed with Glinda.

Thinking about her hurt, time did not change that. She saw her in her glittering gowns and heard her speeches, the propaganda. She would lie if she said it did not hurt. It hurt a lot. By now, Elphaba was not even sure if Glinda was genuine about this. She had always been great at putting up a façade, but there was certainly more to it by now. Did Glinda truly think about her like that?

Elphaba buried those thoughts deep inside and focused on what was ahead. This was not about Glinda, this was about the Wizard. He had invited Elphaba to visit him. At first, she thought this to be a trap, but her spies said otherwise. He was truly scared and wanted a truce. This might be her chance of changing things, of truly making a difference. And she would not fail.

She placed the flyer down on the table and grabbed her black pointy hat, the one Glinda gifted her. It felt like forever ago. She put it on, it felt oddly comforting. Her heart aching as she reached out for her broom. Her long fingers wrapped around the wood. She took a long breath. She pushed her doubts and lingering thoughts of Glinda down. Without further ado she flew up into the night sky.

 

The emerald palace loomed ahead of her. The golden spires on the dark green gleamed in the night sky. If she did not know what was behind all of this, she probably would have been enchanted by its beauty, like the first time she had seen it.

She landed somewhere quiet and secluded, not wanting to raise more attention than she already has. This was a mistake, she thought. All the things that could go wrong. But no, she was doing this for peace, for justice. She calmed her breathing and grasped her broom tightly.

Her boots echoed sharply against the marble floors as she strode though the long hallways. She tried to look dangerous and intimidating, just as the Wizard depicted her. She could see it in the guards faces, they were scared. Scared of the Wicked Witch of the West. It had one good thing though. She was not the frightened girl anymore, the one they once laughed it.

She stopped right in front of the massive doors leading into the Wizard’s chambers. The guards took a step back and watched her in fear. She took one last look around before pushing the doors open with force and stepped in.

The Wizard had already been waiting for her. He stood there, calm, collected, smiling even. “Elphaba, it is great to see you” he greeted her as she entered the room with force. There were no guards around, only him.

Elphaba looked around the room, taking it in, making sure she could escape easily. The grip on her broom never loosened. “What do you want?” she asked him, making her stance clear. She was not here for pleasantries, but to ensure the animals safety.

He shook his head, grinning. Before he could star speaking, Elphaba shared her terms. “I demand you set the animals free and stop stripping them of their rights. They are citizens of this land, just like everybody else, and they deserve to be treated as such.”

“Oh Elphaba, you come here, alone, demanding terms. You must be very sure of yourself”. Her jaw clenched, but she held her stance. She was sure of herself, she had to be. “You requested me” she added, reminding him on why she was here in the first place.

“I just wanted to catch up with an old friend” he said, as he started moving around the room. The room was silent, despite the clicking of his pocket watch. Elphaba grew impatient, she wanted to leave. As fast as possible.

“What do you want?” she repeated, unsure of the game he was playing. He invited her here, he was scared of her growing power and influence. He wanted her here, and now he was playing with her. She took another look around. Her senses kicked in. She had to leave. Now.

He noticed the way her eyes darted around the room. He smirked “You should not leave right away, you are here to negotiate after all, right?”. He kept playing with his pocket watch as she strode around the room. It made Elphaba even more nervous.

Elphaba nodded hesitantly “If you keep your word and follow my demands, I’ll do whatever you want”. It sounded more like a plea. Her confidence was slowly vanishing, and she tried her best to not let it show. His lack of diplomacy made her unsure of what was to happen. He did not seem to be interested in what she had to say.

“Whatever I want?” he asked, his eyebrow raised in interest. Before she could answer he continued “That's a good offer, But you see, I think you may want to reconsider”. Elphaba shook her head “why would I want to reconsider? I am here for one reason only and that-” before she could finish what she was saying the door behind her creaked open once more. She turned around as someone entered the room silently.

“Glinda-” her entire posture softened, her voice vulnerable as she looked at the girl in the glimmering pink gown. Glinda’s gaze turned towards her. Her eyes looked different, empty, dead. Her body was slimmer, looked more fragile. Her face was pale. They just stood there staring at one another. Elphaba took a step forward, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around the girl.

To her surprise, Glinda took a step back. Elphaba immediately stopped in her tracks. She was confused. Was she scared? Of her? Elphaba searched her eyes. There was uncertainty. She could not feel the Wizard approaching as her only focus was on Glinda. She felt an ache in her heart. Glinda always looked at her with warmth and love and care and now, now there was nothing.

“I’m sorry… do I know you?” she asked softly but still reserved. Elphaba’s entire world fell apart. She did not recognize her, why? Why? Why? Her mind was racing. How could she forget? How could she not remember her? After all they have been through? Her breathing quickened. Her pulse was rushing.

She started to shake “Glinda, It's me” she stated in another attempt to make her recognize her. She did not move closer to Glinda this time. The Wizard approached Glinda from the side as she looked over at him for help. “I… I don’t think I do” she answered hesitantly. The Wizard placed his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. It only made Elphaba’s stomach twist. This could not be real.

Her mind was racing. Why did she not remember? What was happening here? What happened to Glinda? “Glinda, please, my sweet” she took a step forward this time, but slowly, not wanting to startle her. “You must remember me, we went to Shiz together, we were roommates” she stopped for a second and took off her hat “You gave me this”, her voice broke. She tried to hide her emotions, but it was difficult.

Her body was shaking and tears started to built up in her eyes. Glinda just stood there, startled and uncertain. Her eyes still empty. She looked at the Wizard for reassurance. He squeezed her shoulder slightly, enjoying the sight in front of him. She looked uncomfortable and took another step back. Her fingers gripping the folds of her gown tightly.

“I’m sorry, you… you must mistake me for somebody else” she stated, her gaze drifting back to the Wizard for reassurance. “Glinda… please” Elphaba begged. Her emotions slowly overwhelming her completely. “It’s okay, she’s a bit confused” the Wizard whispered to Glinda, loud enough for Elphaba to hear.

“It’s not your fault” he added with a fake smile as he took her face into his hands. Her eyes darted up to meet his. Her composure seemed to soften under his attention. He looked at her intensely, before his eyes drifted back to Elphaba who still stood there in disbelief. Small tears escaping her eyes.

Elphaba’s blood began to boil at the way he touched her, the way he manipulated her. What did he do to her? Why was she this way? Her sorrow and fear slowly became something else… rage. “You see, I had hoped this wouldn’t be necessary” the Wizard added with another fake smile. His hand still on Glinda, making Elphaba’s jaw clench.

“What the fuck did you do to her?”. Elphaba’s rage sparked beneath her skin. Her breathing quickened. Her voice sharp and furious. The Wizard only smiled, as he always did. His voice was calm and collected as he spoke again. “Glinda was confused and delusional”, he turned towards the girl with a regretful expression. “I helped her, to see the truth”. He offered Glinda a reassuring smile.

Glinda was still confused and overwhelmed. The Wizards words and presence seemed to sooth her. This only fueled Elphaba’s rage. Her hands turned into fists. Magic thrumming beneath her skin, dangerous and uncontrolled “Liar”.

The Wizard clearly enjoyed the effect he had on her. As mile spreading across his face as he saw the magic flickering between her fingertips. He moved slightly to position himself behind Glinda. “She’s better off without you” he added.

Elphaba lunged forward at his words. Her body moving forward in a quick motion. Her magic throwing the Wizard back. He stumbled across the floor, away from Glinda. Elphaba approached him in quick steps “You-” her magic strangling him, making him gasp for air. Rage consumed her. Her body reacting on its own. He hurt her, he hurt Glinda.

“Please stop” a soft voice from behind her pleaded. Elphaba loosened her grip on the Wizard, making the air return to his lungs. Glinda always had that effect on her, she was her soft spot, her weakness. He knew that.

She turned around, tears still running down her cheeks. Glinda looked at her. She looked at her in a way she had never looked at her before. She was afraid, afraid of her. Elphaba swallowed hard, taking another step towards her. Glinda quickly stumbled back “Please don’t come any closer”. Her eyes still glued to Elphaba in fear. Elphaba stopped immediately and nodded slightly, her eyes still full of pain and regret, regret of ever leaving her in this place.

“No need to distress dear Glinda” he said after getting up and walking back to Glinda’s side, taking her hand in his, soothing her. He looked back towards Elphaba “She won’t hurt you, I won’t let her”. Her rage returned, burning hot. But she collected herself, she had to be smart about this. “Glinda, please, I would never hurt you, you know that”.

Glinda looked back at her, their eyes meeting. Glinda’s eyes looked empty, but there was a flicker of something else. Something deep down, was it recognition? The Wizard noticed their eye contact and quickly jumped in between them. “That’s enough”.

He turned his attention back to Glinda, making her focus on him “That was enough stress for today, Morrible will take care of you”. He said with a smirk, gesturing her out. “Glinda-” Elphaba quickly rushed after her. The Wizard stopped her, before she could reach her. “Don’t”

Elphaba looked at Glinda, pleading. She begged her not to leave. Glinda took one last look at her, before heading out of the room. She still looked confused, overwhelmed and distraught. Elphaba nearly collapsed to the ground. The Wizard smiled at her “You see, If I were you, I’d be very careful before making this difficult”.

Something snapped inside of her as the doors closed “You touch her again and I will burn this palace and everyone in it to the ground”. He merely chuckled in response “Always so dramatic”. He moved away from her and moved through the room. “You must have questions”.

Elphaba wanted to wrap her hands around his throat and strangle him to death. See the light leave his eyes. See the fear as he knew there was no way he’d escape her. No way he’d escape the Wicked Witch of the West.

“The Glinda you knew, she is gone”. He tilted his head. His smile was the first thing Elphaba wanted to rip from his face. That disgusting smile. He hurt her. He took her away. He- “I relieved her of some burdensome memories”.

“I’ll bring her back, you have no power over her, she’ll remember who she was, who she is” Elphaba stepped forward. Facing him with determination. He chuckled again as he turned away and shook his head. He walked towards a nearby table. He picked up a small metallic wire. He played with it between his fingers.

“Magic is such a fascinating thing, don’t you agree Elphaba? You know where I come from, we don’t have magic, well not the kind you know, a different kind one might say” he started his smile widening as she looked at Elphaba’s tense state. Her jaw is clenched, just as her fists.

“Memories are fragile, they aren’t as… permanent as one might think. With the right touch-” he taped against the wire in his hands “they can be rearranged, modified or…” he looked her directly into the eyes “erased”. She swallowed hard and repeated herself “she’ll remember who she was”. At this point she tried to convince herself more than him.

“Elphaba” he approached her again, shaking his head in fake sympathy “You must understand, these are not repressed memories. They are not locked away, waiting to be freed”. His voice dropped lower, cruel “They are gone”.

Her vision blurred with rage. She shook her head, her voice breaking “You’re lying”. He smirked, twisting the knife “It’s quite remarkable, really. How the mind works. Pull the right thread, and the entire things unravels”.

Elphaba felt like was drowning, her blank stare and the way there was no recognition behind her eyes, they were empty. There was nothing left of Glinda. She looked at her like she was a stranger, she was afraid of her. She was the Wicked Witch of the West after all. Her heart ached. Tears forming in her eyes once again.

He leaned closer to her, having her exactly where he wanted her. “She is not in pain… at least not right now, that could change… depending on you”. She looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m gonna kill you” she whispered, meaning every single word.

He shook his head “I don’t think you will, you don’t want her to suffer, do you?”. He began to strode through the room once again “You see, you wanted a truce, here I am offering you one”. Elphaba wanted to hurt him. Like he hurt her, but she couldn’t, not as long as Glinda was under his grasp. If she pushed too hard, he would make her pay for it.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Glinda was her weakness, had always been. She would not let him hurt her again. She would protect her. “Leave her alone” she demanded. It sounded more like a plea. She would have to keep her head low for a while. Her fists clenched, so tightly her nails cut into her palms.

He did not say it out loud. He did not have to. The message was clear. She would have to find another way to free Glinda from him, but she would not hesitate to do whatever was necessary.

She looked around the room, spotting an open window, allowing her to leave. Her body still trembling. She could not win this fight, not right now. “You will regret this” she added as she took one last look at him. Her broom sitting securely in her hands, grasping it tighter. He locked eyes with her “Oh my dear, I truly doubt that”.

She tore her gaze away. She took off in a swift motion. Flying into the night sky. Her eyes burned. There was only one thought on her mind. Glinda. The way she looked at her would not leave her mind. It tore her apart. Elphaba would not leave her behind again. She would fight for her. Even if it was the last thing she would do.

Chapter 3: I Could Never Let You Go

Elphaba could not stay away for long, she tried. She could not sleep or eat or do anything without thinking of her. While she was out here, Glinda was trapped. Trapped in this palace. Her heart ached at the thought. Glinda, now only a shadow of her past self, did not even recognize her. What else has the Wizard taken from her? Was it really all gone or was he bluffing?

Elphaba needed answers. She knew the Wizard would not give them to her. Glinda could not give them to her either, even if she tried to. But Elphaba had to try. It was impossible to stay away from her any longer. Elphaba was never someone who thought the situation through before acting. She was very impulsive, something that has already cost her a lot.

Elphaba did not think too long before heading back to the palace. She was careful, flying around the building. It did not take her long to find out where Glinda’s room was. A balcony with pink highlights was not something she often spotted at generally green city. She was making sure nobody saw her, something she was used to by now.

Quietly, she landed on the balcony. She moved as quiet as possible. Holding her broom tightly grasped in her hands, making sure to be able to flee. This was most probably Glinda’s room, but still she had to be careful. This was not her Glinda anymore. Not the girl she went to school with. Not the Girl she left behind that day.

She took a deep breath as she slowly opened the door leading into the room. It creaked softly as she touched the handle and pushed it open. She did not have a good view into the room. She could make out the soft light and could catch a glimpse at the big soft fluffy bed with many cushions. Just like the bed she had at their room at Shiz.

She also saw a small white table with a flower lamp, similar to the one she had back then, but not the same. She opened the door further and caught a glimpse at the kitchen corner. The interior looked nice from what she could see. Everything looked tidy and neat. She took a step forward, into the room. She moved slowly to make less sound.

“Don’t move” a familiar voice said. Elphaba turned to the side, being barely in the room. Glinda looked at her in fear. There was a great distance between the two. Glinda held up an empty bottle, pointing at Elphaba. Elphaba took her presence in as she slowly lowered her broom.

“I said don’t move” Glinda repeated, her voice laced with fear and uncertainty. Her heart was racing. Elphaba never left her gaze and held up her hands in surrender, signalizing that she was not here to hurt her. Glinda did not seem impressed. She took a step back and reached for a bell pull, located next to her makeup desk.

“I wouldn’t do that If I were you” Elphaba said, trying to soothe the girl in front of her. Glinda tightened her grip on the bell pull. Elphaba knew that the moment she would pull that bell, a dozen guards were to storm into the room and there was little to no chance to escape. But she knew the risk, she did not care. Glinda was worth the risk, was worth any risk.

“How did you find me?” Glinda continued in a sharp vice, still laced with fear. Her grip on the pull never loosened. She was ready for guards to storm her room at the slightest inconvenience. “Does it matter?” Elphaba replied in a calm and steady voice.

“It does if you’re here to kill me” Glinda snapped back. Elphaba's eyes widened in shock. Hurt flickering in her expression. Elphaba opened her mouth and took a second to answer, still in disbelief “Is that what you think?”. Her gaze drifted down towards the floor, she had to keep herself together.

Glinda observed Elphaba's hurt expression. She was confused. This was the Wicked Witch of the West standing in front of her. She was supposed to be cruel, like she saw her with the Wizard. What did she want? Why did she look so hurt? Glinda kept her hand on the pull but did not move.

Elphaba did not dare to move as well, her hands still up. She did not step forward, as much as she wanted to, she could not. She raised her voice again, soft but firm “If I wanted to hurt you, I would have”. She watched Glinda carefully, knowing one wrong step could send everything crashing down.

“Is that supposed to comfort me?” Glinda snapped back, her jaw tight. She covered her uncertainty with anger. She should call the guards in, she was an enemy of Oz. Still, something stopped her. She did not get many visitors, she did not have lots of friends. It was weirdly… refreshing to see someone other than the Wizard or Morrible. Still she lowered the bottle in her hand, it was not going to make a difference anyway.

“It’s supposed to tell you that I didn’t come here for that” Elphaba replied calm. Glinda hesitated as she watched Elphaba's every breath. This was not what she imagined the Wicked Witch to be like at all. She was so calm and genuinely showed no interest in hurting her. Still, she had to be careful. She could be manipulating her.

“You think you can trick me” Glinda said after a while. Her heartbeat went back to a normal pace again. “No” Elphaba replied quiet. “Then why are you here?” Glinda snapped back, unsure of what to think of this whole interaction. Her eyebrows were scrunched together. Her eyes were still fixated on Elphaba. “Because I needed to see you”

Glinda's breath stutters at her words. She did not believe her, why would she? She did not know her. Why did she act like this? Why did she not want to hurt her like she hurt everyone else? She had seen her lash out at the Wizard and use her magic to nearly kill him. She was a monster, right?

“Why? I don’t know you. I don’t even know your name” Glinda replied in a sharp voice. Elphaba lowered her gaze. Of course, she did not. People nowadays only knew her as the Wicked Witch, a title Morrible and the Wizard gave her. Why would they tell Glinda her name, It would only make things more difficult. Reducing her to the title ‘Wicked Witch’ must make hating her easier, it took away her identity.

“It’s Elphaba” Elphaba replied softly. Hurt present on her face as Glinda looked at her intensively. She was still uncertain about the whole situation and what any of it meant. Why was she truly here? And why did she look so hurt?

The Girls returned to a silence. Glinda relaxed a bit, but stayed on guard. Elphaba shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and took a look around the room. Earlier she only had time to inspect the huge bed and the small desk.

Elphaba liked the interior design. It looked very much like Glinda. She had a small kitchen corner with shining white surfaces, looking like they had never been used before. Next to her makeup desk was a huge wardrobe with pink highlights and doorknobs. Elphaba chuckled lightly at the pink decor spread around the room. Of course, everything had to be pink.

She took a step further into the room and inspected the furniture further. Something was missing. Her gaze lingered on the small things, a hairbrush, a perfume bottle. No pictures or any personal possessions, not that she was surprised. The Wizard most likely tried to keep her away from anything that could trigger her memory.

“It feels like you” Elphaba said with soft but bittersweet smile directed at Glinda. Glinda did not answer at first, her eyes stayed locked on Elphaba and her movements. “What?” she asked defensive. “Your room, it feels like you” Elphaba explained as she gazed around.

Glinda narrowed her eyes at her once again “Why would you know that?”. Elphaba did not answer, she knew it was useless right now. She just wanted to be here, with her, even if the time was limited and there was so much she could not do or say. Still she was closer to Glinda, than she had been in the past year. It was good to feel the girl's presence once again, even if it was different now.

Elphaba took another step forward. Glinda immediately took one back and her hand returned to the bell pull. Elphaba noticed it of course, but she did not react. She was not afraid, and she did not want Glinda to think that she was. She took another step forward, continuing to observe the room.

“If you were really going to call them, you would have already” she said after a while, not even looking at Glinda. Glinda was taken aback by her statement. She was right, but she did not want her to know that and swallowed hard as she replied “Don't be so sure”.

Elphaba chuckled lightly at the defensiveness Glinda still showed. It was sweet to see her acting so angry and wary while she watched her. Sometimes Elphaba missed the way they used to fight before they became friends, only sometimes though. She turned to look at Glinda again “Then do it”

There was no fear in her voice. She looked at Glinda with a gentleness and the knowledge that she would not call the guards. Glinda was confused and froze, why did she act like she knew her better than she knew herself. Why was there so much care in her eyes? Why was she so sure of herself?

Elphaba waited for a reaction. Her head slightly tilted, she looked at Glinda with care. Glinda did not move, and she had no idea why she was frozen in place. Something within her stopped her from moving and calling the guards. It confused her, why did she even have to think about it? The Wicked Witch of the West was in her room, how could she not call the guards?

Elphaba smiled softly to herself. There was a reason why Glinda did not call the guards, she maybe did not know it herself yet, but there was. Maybe not everything was gone, maybe a part of Glinda was still in there, waiting to be freed. Was the Wizard lying? Were her memories repressed really?

Glinda seemed to be at war with herself. She returned her gaze to Elphaba. Everything confused her, she had never been so unsure, as far as she could remember. “I know you don’t trust me… I couldn’t expect that from you” Elphaba started, her eyes focused on Glinda. “I just…” she was unsure of what to say.

Instead, she moved forward, keeping her eyes on Glinda. She reached into the pocket of her coat. Glinda’s breath quickened at the sight. She was contemplating calling the guards, again. Elphaba pulled out a small golden necklace. She carefully placed it down on the table, the charm on display. It showed three delicate butterflies, decorated with small diamonds.

She looked back at Glinda and moved a few steps back, knowing not to get to close to her. Glinda never stopped watching her movements and only stepped forward, towards the table, when Elphaba put enough distance in between them. Her eyes flickered between Elphaba and the necklace, never wanting to let her out of sight.

“It’s pretty” she exclaimed with uncertainty. Her gaze back to Elphaba “What… What is this?”. Elphaba watched her closely, wanting to move closer but knowing it was not the right time. “It’s yours” she said carefully. Glinda observed it closely. Elphaba hoped for some recognition. There was none.

“I don’t know what… what you think this is, but it’s not mine” she added. Elphaba nodded in response, she had expected this to go her way. “Please keep it” she responded. Her voice pleading, she needed Glinda to have it, maybe just maybe she would remember.

Glinda seemed to contemplate it for a while. Her fingers gently tracing the pedant. She liked it and there was no harm in keeping it right? It was just a necklace. Eventually she nodded slightly. She looked almost vulnerable. Had she even realized that she had stepped away from the bell pull?

Glinda must have had the same thought as she stepped back, the necklace clasped tightly in her hand. Her eyes flickering to the bell pull again. Elphaba contemplated staying, she wanted to, so very bad. She could not. Glinda needed time and space. She could not force herself back into Glinda’s life. It would be wrong.

There was silence again, awkward silence. Something that would have never happened back then. Glinda was always fast to be in Elphaba’s personal space. She would tell her a story of something so unnecessary, but Elphaba always listened. There was nothing as calming as her voice, even if she talked fast and stumbled over her own words.

Elphaba looked down, lost in her thoughts about the girl right in front of her, or rather what she used to be. She swallowed and started moving again to reach her broom, which was leaning against the wall. “I should leave” she said looking at Glinda intensely.

Glinda was lost in her own thoughts, but did not argue. She opened her mouth, but closed it again right after. She did not know what she should say, or wanted to say. If this was wrong why did it feel so right? She decided against speaking her mind.

Elphaba waited for her to say something, but nothing. She tightened her coat, hoping to get some extra time. Should she ask Glinda if she wanted to see her again? Or would the answer only hurt her even more?

She took one last look at the girl. Her golden curls framing her face so effortlessly beautiful. She had to stop herself from staring at her for too long. There were so many words left unspoken – but it was too early. One day she would get the chance to say them, to tell Glinda all the things she could not say right now.

She headed out for the balcony. “Don’t get caught” Glinda called after her. Elphaba smiled to herself, was that a hint of concern? No, she could not allow herself to think like that. She would return, soon. She would help Glinda reviving her memories and be there for her, take care of her and finally protect her from all the things she was unable to protect her from In the past.

Notes:

First off all thank you guys so much for reading my story and leaving Kudos and Comments, it really means a lot and I'm so happy to hear your thoughts on this and your nice words keep me motivated! I'm really planning on making this a longer story, but i’m quite busy at the moment so i don’t know how fast i’ll be able to update

Chapter 4: A Feeling I Can't Name

Notes:

Okay, so I'm incredibly sorry for not updating in so long. I think the AO3 writer’s curse got me, which I didn’t think was possible since I hadn’t written that much. But I got kicked out, and well, my laptop broke. That was especially unfortunate because I can't really write long texts on my phone. But I'm back, for now, so I’ll try to write as much as possible

and thank you guys so much for the kudos and nice comments!

The following night Glinda could not rest. Her mind was scattered. Plagued with thoughts of the green witch, who had not only invaded her privacy, but also her mind. The next day, she was bound to give another speech at a public appearance. A speech about the Wicked Witch of the West and the danger she spread around Oz.
Now after meeting her it felt different. She felt so much closer to all of it. The woman she met, Elphaba, was not the Wicked Witch. Not the Wicked Witch she warned the Citizens of Oz about. The woman she met did not seem capable of all the things they have said she has done. She was different, she seemed to care, she seemed kind even.

Glinda was unable to write anything down. The words normally spur out of her, but right now it was hard to find them at all. Her gaze drifted off to the necklace Elphaba had given her. She reached for it and gently let her fingers wander over the pedant. She opened the chain clasp and slowly placed the cold necklace around her neck. She closed the clasp and let the necklace sit against her neck.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She liked it. Elphaba really seemed to know what she liked, which was weird. Glinda did not want to think about it for too long. The truth was she did not know many people these days. The only people around her, despite the guards, were the Wizard and Madame Morrible. They could be, demanding. The Wizard was nice, most of the time. Though he could lose his temper sometimes.

Seeing someone other than them was refreshing. Elphaba was interesting, she intrigued her. She was mysterious. Glinda wanted to know more about her. Of course, she would never admit any of it. Nobody could know about this. It just made it more exciting.

The more Glinda tried to focus on the words she was writing down, the less came to her mind. She hated herself for it. The way she so weirdly cared about the green skinned woman. Describing her as ugly seemed unfitting. She was not ugly. The closer she called the image of the woman who visited her back to her mind she realized she was some kind of beautiful even. She was still peculiar, but no she was anything but ugly.

Then she felt it. The slight shift in the air. She knew what was coming. Glinda was not afraid like last time. She knew she was safe. Safe with her.

“Will you call for the guards?”

Glinda heard the soft voice asking. She did not see her yet. Elphaba was most likely out on her balcony again. Once again Glinda was stunned at the gentleness of her voice. She did not sound like an evil witch, like someone who threatened people. She sounded just like a normal person.

“Haven’t decided yet” Glinda answered, shifting her gaze towards the balcony. She knew she would not call the guards, but she would not let Elphaba have that satisfaction just yet. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest as she heard the green figure chuckle softly, before stepping into her room.

Elphaba had a kind smile on her face as her eyes immediately caught Glinda’s. For a moment none of the girls dared to say a word. Glinda’s eye drifted off to what Elphaba was holding in her hand. A bunch of pink tulips, held together by a pink ribbon. Elphaba was pulled from her trace and looked down to her hand, having forgotten the flowers.

“They’re for you” she said almost shy. She did not move, knowing this was better in order not to scare Glinda away. She held her hand out offering them to her, unsure if she would even want them.

Glinda was intrigued but still cautious. “Why?” she asked. Her words were supposed to sound harsh, but came out much more vulnerable. She was still confused by the sudden shyness in Elphaba’s posture. She was the Wicked Witch after all, should she not be fearless, cold and untouched by anything happening around her?

“They're your favorite” She added carefully, still holding the flowers out for Glinda to take. Glinda shallowed hard, yes they were her favorite, but how would she know that? She stood up, not letting her eyes leave Elphaba. Slowly she moved towards her and came to a halt in front of her.

Up close Elphaba did not look one bit intimidating anymore. They were the same height. Her eyes were sparkling green. She had freckles, Glinda noticed. They made her look even kinder. She wanted to touch them even, feel her skin beneath her fingertips. Glinda had to snap herself out of it, Elphaba must have noticed her staring. She could not help herself, she was a unique kind of beautiful.

Carefully Glinda reached out for the tulips and let her fingers brush against Elphaba’s. She did not pull back immediately. The touch was comforting in a strange way Glinda did not understand. The touch was fleeting, but as soon as Glinda pulled her hand back with the flowers tightly grasped, she felt like she was missing something.

Elphaba did not dare to move or say anything, still shocked that Glinda even approached her and dared to touch her hand. Her eyes lingered on Glinda as she lowered her face to smell the flowers. A small smile spreading across her lips at the fresh smell.

As Glinda retracted again into the corner of her desk to place the tulips in a vase, she raised her voice again “I didn’t know you knew”. She was not looking at Elphaba as she went into her kitchen corner to fill the vase up with water. Elphaba was unsure of what to answer, she did not want to risk making Glinda mad again.

“Just a feeling” she answered looking down. Glinda returned with the vase showing it to Elphaba “I like them”. As she brought the vase back to her desk, Elphaba could not help but smile to herself. Her Glinda was still in there somehow, she just knew, she had to.

Her eyes drifted to the paper and pen, still spread on her desk. “What were you writing?” she asked curiously. It looked like a letter, possibly for her parents, she thought. Glinda did not seem to have much company here nowadays. But it was too early for that conversation, Glinda would most likely just get mad and kick her out.

Glinda looked down at the paper on her desk, remembering the task at hand. “Nothing” she answered way too quickly. Elphaba tilted her head slightly as she slowly settled down on the edge of Glinda’s bed. Glinda felt her eyes burning into her back as she tried to ignore her.

“It’s a speech” she confessed, letting her fingers brush over the paper. “A speech?” Elphaba asked curiously, unaware that that words written onto it, were indeed about her.

Even if Glinda was talking to the Wicked Witch, she could not bring herself to being this cruel. Also, the Wicked Witch brought her flowers, her favorite flowers. She felt Elphaba’s eyes never leaving her, making her feel even more guilty. She hated herself for having these feelings, she was her enemy after all, she was evil right?

“It’s about me, isn’t it?” Elphaba asked, observing Glinda’s body language carefully. Her voice lacked any kind of anger or frustration. It was soft and gentle, which confused Glinda even more. Why was she so calm about this?

“Yes” Glinda admitted, sounding guiltier than she intended to be. Elphaba was irritating her. The way she was so kind and gentle and seemed to know her better than she knew herself.

“Don’t feel guilty” Elphaba smiled kindly. It confused Glinda even more. How did she know exactly what to say?

Glinda started nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Did she feel guilty? It was hard for her to separate the woman in front of her from the Wicked Witch. They were the same person after all, were they? Elphaba seemed nothing like the Witch she warned everyone about. The Witch who threatened them.

“You…” Glinda looked down unsure of what she wanted to say. Her mind was a whirlwind. She believed in what she stood for, but Elphaba was not making it easy for her. Her kind eyes following her every movement, observing her, like she could read her mind.

Elphaba took a step back and sat down on the corner of Glinda’s huge bed. Her eyes never left Glinda. She tilted her head slightly, a sad smile appearing on her face, unsure of what she could say, without making her mad.

“I’m not trying to hurt you… or anyone else” she confessed truthfully, making Glinda look back up at her. “What I’m doing is… helping the animals… I know that I-“

“Don’t” Glinda interrupted her raising her hand. “I don’t wanna hear it”

Elphaba swallowed hard looking back down. Her fingers twitching nervously in her lap. “Sorry” she whispered “I didn’t want to upset you”.

They returned to a tense silence. Glinda unable to stand still and thinking of her next words. Elphaba’s mind was racing, thinking of the million possibilities to safe this.

“Do you remember going to Shiz?” she asked after a while, not yet daring to look back up at her.

Glinda stayed silent for a while, thinking. “Shiz?” she only asked in return. Elphaba’s heart ached at that. Deep down she already knew Glinda would not be able to remember, but hearing her asking about it, hurt more than it should.

“You were there… before you… moved… here” she answered carefully, making sure she would not push too far. Her eyes went back up to study Glinda who seemed to be at war with her mind. She stayed silent for a while, but Elphaba could see her brain working.

The way she scrunched her eyebrows together, Elphaba remembered it all too well. The concentration was written all over her face. Elphaba wanted to soothe her, walk over to her, wrap her up in her arms, but she could not, maybe never again.

Glinda started shaking her head “no… no” she turned her head towards Elphaba. “Stop telling me those lies”. Her voice lacked sharpness and was laced with sadness and even fear.

Elphaba was unsure if she liked it. Yes, it made Glinda question her reality, on the other hand she seemed to be in pain and the last thing she wanted was Glinda to be in pain. She wanted to protect her, that was the least she could do after everything the Wizard had done too her, and she barely even knew about the extent off what he did. Part of her never wanted to know, just get Glinda out of here.

“Okay” Elphaba whispered defeated. Glinda slowly returned to a calmer state, pushing these thoughts back down. They stayed silent for a while, before Elphaba stood back up and straightened her coat, making Glinda take a step back.

“I should go” she said grabbing her broom as she headed towards the balcony door. Glinda opened her mouth, but no words came out. She did not know what to say, she did not even understand her feelings. She was feelings so many different things she did not understand. Glinda wanted her to stay, but why?

“Will you come back?” Glinda asked, without even thinking through. She cursed herself for even asking that. She sounded desperate, like she was lonely, which she was, but she did not want Elphaba to know that.

“If you want me to” Elphaba smiled to herself, her back turned to Glinda as she moved outside, embracing the cold night air. The air was gently blowing through her braids, making Glinda stare from behind. She did not answer, she did not need to. They both knew the answer.

Chapter 5: The Echo of Your Name

“Glinda focus“
Glinda was ripped from her thoughts by the harsh voice of her mentor, Madame Morrible. Her eyes drifted back up from her hands up to the woman’s stoic expression. She watched her with disapproval and not a lot of care. She never knew what her mentor thought, she was mostly unreadable.

Her gaze drifted to the Wizard, who was seated next to her, his eyes glued to her. Other than her, he had a kind smile on his face. Though Glinda was never sure if it was genuine or just there to make her feel safe. He had this way of always

“Sorry” she said in return “what were you saying?”. She tried to focus on them, while her mind kept drifting back to the green-skinned girl who paid her a visit. She was all she could think about these days. Somehow, she became the only thing worth thinking about.

“You see dear… power isn’t just about strength” he paused dramatically to make sure Glinda was listening to every word he said. “When people believe in something, it doesn’t matter if it’s true, as long as they think it is. She’s a Witch, she knows her ways. She plays the victim, she twists my words. That’s how she gains followers”

“She is a powerful Witch Glinda, she bewitches people” Morrible added, looking her straight in the eyes. Glinda swallowed hard, feeling like Morrible is staring right through her, reading her mind, feeling her uncertainty and nervousness. What if she knew about her conflicted feelings?

“She can be very persuasive” she added, her eyes never leaving Glinda’s, as if she waited for her to crumble under her gaze. “It pains me” the Wizard exclaimed dramatically “these poor Ozians don’t know better… and don’t get me started on the animals… she twists my words”.

He hid his face in his hands, letting his hands wander through his hair. He was worried, about what could happen. Morrible still had her eyes fixated on Glinda as he raised his voice again “fear travels faster than truth”. Her hand moved to his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. They were worried about their fading influence.

“I know” Glinda replied after a while. Her eyes flicked between him and Morrible. She could feel the tension, the intensity of their gazes observing her. It felt like an Interrogation to her and not a normal strategy meeting. The way they were seating, to observe her, make sure nothing would go past them. It made her feel uncomfortable.

The Wizard was guilt-tripping her, showing his despair and fear of loosing control. It did work on her. After all she knew too little about everything going on at the moment. She had no perception of time, despite seeing the sun rise and set from the window in her room. She only stepped outside the palace for public appearances and speeches.

“You see” the Wizard moved his head back up to look at Glinda again “Do you fear the Witch, Glinda?”. Glinda swallowed again at the question. They knew, her mind kept repeating, they knew. They would not ask her such a question if they thought nothing of it. Her mind went through all the possibilities.

“I- I have never faced her” She answered as her gaze moved back to Morrible, whose expression never shifted. Glinda hated how she could not read her mentor’s thoughts, like she always seemed to read hers. She did not want to come across as uncertain, but giving a clear answer might give her away, seeming too certain. Doubt was only natural, she thought.

The Wizard turned to look at Morrible, encouraging her to speak with a nod. Glinda felt her heartbeat quickening. What if they found out? She hated the thought of that. Not only would this have huge consequences for her, but it would also endanger Elphaba. She could not allow herself to think like that, especially right now.

Glinda only grew more nervous every second. “We’ve read your speech Glinda” Morrible revealed to her, after a period of silence. Glinda opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. “You are such a kind and gentle soul Glinda. Bad people will take advantage of that” the Wizard added with his usual dramatics. Clasping his hands together again, unable to keep still for a long time.

“Your speech sounds like you empathize with the Witch, like she was just led astray” Morrible clarified. Glinda looked down, she was aware of her changing feelings towards the Witch, but unaware of how this was reflected in her writing. “If the citizens of Oz would hear this, they’d be confused”.

Glinda hate how they talked to her. They treated her like a child, someone fragile and naïve. She was so much more than that. That was what seemed appealing about Elphaba. She treated her like a person, not a symbol, just a girl.

“You are so important Glinda, you are a symbol of hope, they believe in you. That’s what makes you so vulnerable. You represent purity and goodness, the Witch wants that, because she can never be that” the Wizard gestured wildly while explaining his point to her.

“The world is not black and white, but for them, it has its advantages” he explained. Glinda understood exactly what he said, despite their belief, she was not stupid and perfectly capable of all these things they did not trust her with. She understood what they did, she knew what they had to do in order to uphold their order.

Morrible seemed annoyed by his way of talking and gestured at him to stop “You cannot show empathy towards the Witch, it’ll make us look weak”. Her cold words felt like a stab directly into her heart and for a moment she did not move, only taking her words in. She was conflicted, and their instructions were not exactly helping.

Eventually, she nodded at Morrible’s request. Not like she was given much of a choice, they could not find out about her nightly meetups with Elphaba. She could not imagine their disappointment if they would find out, she was a symbol after all, just like he said.

“She’ll stop at nothing. Glinda, if she gets to you, you are in serious danger. Her magic is very powerful, you wouldn’t even know if she bewitched you” He added, carefully observing the effects of his words on Glinda.

Maybe that was all it was, Glinda thought. Her empathy and these strange emotions all appeared with her, Elphaba. Maybe she just felt that way, because Elphaba wanted her to. Her heart ached, what if she was enchanted? What if Elphaba was really the Witch the Wizard framed her to be, and maybe she was using Glinda to get what she wanted.

Elphaba was in her head already, her mind was filled with her, unable to focus on anything else. And here she sat lying, lying to no other than The Wizard of Oz. It all made so much sense suddenly. Her fingers were twitching nervously in her lap as the thought manifested itself in her brain.

But her mind drifted back to her kind smile and the way her eyes lit up whenever Glinda would look at her, was it all her imagination? Subconsciously her fingers went up to the necklace and touched it. Did she just like it because Elphaba made her believe so? But the flowers she brought her, they were really her favorite, how would she know that?

Her mind started playing tricks on her, and she could feel their eyes staring directly into her soul. They definitely knew something was wrong with her, she could feel it. She was growing more nervous each second, feeling like she was about to burst. Should she tell them about Elphaba visiting her?

“Don’t worry Glinda, you are safe here” he reassured her with that smile again. It made Glinda feel even sicker, she was not safe here.

Her mind drifted back too how Elphaba’s fingers felt against hers. It was just a small touch, barely a touch even, but Glinda felt it deep in her bones, like someone touched her soul directly. It did feel magical. But was she really using her magic on her? It felt so real, realer than anything she has felt in a while.

Morrible observed her carefully as her fingers kept tracing the necklace around her neck. Her mind was spinning too fast, the necklace, the flowers, everything. She tried to calm her thoughts, steady her voice, so no one would guess a thing.

“If Elphaba is really that dangerous, then-” she interrupted herself, realizing what she just said. She was not supposed to know her name. The Wizard or Morrible never used it. She should not know. She swallowed hard and tried to keep herself calm, but it did not work. Now they would know everything, find out she has been seeing her.

The Wizard’s and Morrible’s eyes widen at the name. There was a silence following. Glinda felt like the air was pulled out of her lungs and her breathing quickened. Something in the room shifted. Morrible’s eyes flicked to the Wizard and then back at Glinda.

The Wizard on the other hand did not flinch. His expression stayed the same, though his eyes gave him away. “Then we must be certain you stay out of her way” he finished her sentence like she did not just say something unusual. He was still smiling at her, which made her skin crawl.

It was just one name, but it kept on ringing in her head. Just one word, but it might cost her everything. Their non-reaction was making her drive insane. Why did they not do anything? It was terrifying, and the more time passed Glinda just grew more worried.

“We’ll keep you under closer watch… we don’t want to risk anything” he added, clasping his hands together like nothing happened. Glinda simply nodded, still under shock. Morrible and the Wizard exchanged another gaze, before getting up.

“I think it’s time for another treatment” the Wizard said, locking eyes with Morrible, who simply nodded. Glinda grew even more confused at that as they both looked down at her with a strange kind of pity in their eyes.

“What?” She asked confused. Two more guards entered the room at the Wizards command and walked up to Glinda who moved her head around in fear and confusion, what was happening?

“Don’t worry, you have been having these episodes, the memory loss and all that. We want to prevent that from happening again. You don’t remember, but you always get so confused” The Wizard said with an empathetic smile directed towards her, as she was pulled up.

“Everything will be okay, We are only trying to help you child” her mentor added. Glinda was pulled up and escorted out of the room. What was happening? They did not know about Elphaba visiting her and still this felt like punishment despite their words. She wanted to run, far away. It all felt like a déjà vu.

Elphaba, her thoughts drifted back to her, they always did. What she would give to have her here now. Have her save her. It felt pathetic, but under all that glitter and beauty, Glinda felt not only alone, but broken, and she hated it. She hated feeling so helpless, while her only friend, or whatever they were, was out there fighting for, maybe the right thing even. Maybe Elphaba was right all along.

Chapter 6: Holding On to A Memory

This time was different, Elphaba could feel that. The air felt weird the moment she stepped onto the balcony. The door was open, but no sounds could be heard inside. Glinda was not humming to herself, sitting at her desk how she so often did. She did not catch her beautiful blonde hair falling so effortlessly over her shoulders. It was quiet, too quiet.

“Glinda?” she stepped inside, trying to be not too loud. No answer. Her mind already jumped to the worst conclusions. She was supposed to be here right now. She placed her broom against the wall and stepped farther into the room and then spotted her.

Glinda was lying in her bed, facing away from her. Her hair was messy and she did not move. Elphaba’s eyes widened at the sight, and she quickly made her way over to the other side of the bed. She knelt down in front of her taking her face in.

Her heart broke at the sight. Her skin was pale, her eyes closed, her hair was messily falling over her face. Glinda's body was curled up under the blankets. She did not look calm or comfortable, but rather in immense pain. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she looked anything but peaceful.

Elphaba wanted to cry. She hated what they did to her and that she did not stop it. She hated that Glinda had been going through it for a year. What did “it” even mean? Elphaba still knew next to nothing about what they did to her girl.

She wanted to reach out and touch her face, but knew she could not, she did not want to startle her. “Glinda?” she tried again, her voice quiet, barely a whisper. Glinda started blinking slowly, her eyes opening after a while. She was still visibly in pain, but most likely on some heavy medication.

“Nurse?” she asked weakly, her voice broken. Elphaba had to fight to keep her emotions in check, seeing her like that was worse, than anything she could imagine. And the worst part was, she could do nothing about it.

“No, it's me” Elphaba answered. She reached out to gently brush back the loose strand from Glinda’s face, so she could look at her. Glinda’s eyes, barely open, looked tired and empty, like there was nothing behind them. Elphaba’s heart ached at the sight.

“Witch” she breathed out, despite her weak voice, it sounded like an insult. Elphaba moved her hand away at that. Glinda was too weak to move on her own, but Elphaba knew what this meant. She had forgotten, once again. She had been here before, and she hated it more than anything.

“Hey, you know me” She said softly, trying not to startle her. She was still close, but sure not to touch her. Her state worried her, what had happened? What did the Wizard do this time?

Glinda did not answer. Her eyes did not stay open for too long, she was too weak to protest. Elphaba’s eyes started to get glassy at the sight. Seeing her hurt was the worst pain, but having her not even remember her was making it so much worse.

“What happened?” Elphaba asked after a while as Glinda did not send her away. Her eyes did stay on Elphaba, like it was not all gone. Maybe she had a few memories left, maybe her soul remembered. Elphaba would not stop hoping.

As Glinda did not answer, Elphaba slowly reached out, so she would have enough time to pull back. But she did not. “I gave you this, remember?” she said, as her fingers gently touched the necklace around her neck.

Glinda did not pull back, her eyes stayed on Elphaba, searching her gaze. She released a long breath “Are you real?”. Her Hand reached out to touch Elphaba’s hand. She was still shaking a bit. Elphaba gently interlaced her fingers “Yes, yes I am”.

Elphaba knew she was only behaving like that, because she was weak to protest. Her mind was too clouded to make rational decisions. But feeling her hand in hers felt too good to be true. She would do anything for her, nothing would change that.

“Glinda, what happened to you?” Her voice was filled with worry as she repeated the question to her. Her thumb began stroking over the back of her hand gently, she was cold, not the way she remembered.

“But you are… the Witch” Glinda raised her voice again. This time she lacked conviction. She did not pull her hand away. Elphaba shook her head “Not to you”. Glinda raised her eyebrows in confusion and searched her eyes.

“Never to you” she added softly with a gentle smile. Glinda seemed to be thinking about her words, unsure if she believed her. Something about her seemed to pull her in, some strange kind of connection, she did not understand. Glinda was confused about her own feelings, nothing about this made any sense to her.

“Witch, don’t-” “Elphaba” she corrected her. Introducing herself to her hurt even more than she liked to admit. It felt like the girl she knew, loved, was gone, and this was just an empty shell. But deep down she hoped her girl was still somewhere inside, she had to be.

“Elphaba” Glinda whispered, repeating her name. It sounded like a prayer, like it ignited something inside of her, almost like she recognized it. Her eyes lit up and stayed glued to her. It felt like she knew her.

Elphaba smiled softly at the sound of her name. She barely had anyone use it these days and hearing it from Glinda always warmed her heart. She kept on holding her hand and stroking it with care.

Her mind wandered back to all the times back at Shiz when Glinda refused to sleep in her own bed and crawled under her covers when the lights went out. She missed these times more than anything. She felt so carefree, so safe with her. Nothing mattered when they were together.

She was ripped from her thoughts when she noticed the red bruise on her temple, hidden beneath her blonde hair. They seemed to not been there for long. Was that what the Wizard did to her?

Elphaba gently removed her hand from Glinda’s and reached out to brush her hair away, to get a better look at her injury. Glinda winced at the touch and pulled away faster than her body allowed her to move. She started to whine more at her sudden movement.

“Hey, hey I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you” Elphaba pulled her hand back at her sudden movement. Glinda’s eyes were wide and looked at Elphaba in shock “don’t… don’t bewitch me”.

“I would never” Elphaba reassured her with a pain in her voice. It pained her to know that Glinda thought she would ever dare to do that. “Never” she repeated looking deep into her eyes.

“Promise?” Glinda asked weakly. “Promise” Elphaba nodded with a smile, slowly reaching out again to touch her face. Glinda did not pull away and let her brush her hair back to look at the bruise. Elphaba moved closer to inspect the injury, careful not to touch it.

“It’s just a headache… been getting these a lot” Glinda explained, looking up at the girl now towering over her, inspecting her face. “What happened?” she repeated her question, for the third time now. Glinda looked her in the eyes and simply shrugged her shoulders.

They looked at each other for a while, searching for answers in each other’s eyes. She always used to get lost in Glinda’s eyes, even know. Glinda might not remember anything, but looking into her eyes made Elphaba realize that her feelings for her would never change, no matter the circumstances.

“I don’t know…” Glinda breathed out, almost inaudible. Elphaba knew she was telling the truth, Glinda had never been able to lie to her. Just like that the Wizards words reappeared in her mind. The words he told her the day she came to negotiate with him.

“Memories are fragile, they aren’t as… permanent as one might think. With the right touch, they can be rearranged, modified or erased. You must understand, these are not repressed memories. They are not locked away, waiting to be freed. They are gone”

Her eyes flickered over her face. He hurt her, badly, he messed with her mind, erased everything she was. She reached out to touch her face again. “I’ll bring you back, I promise” The words hung heavy in the air between them. Even though Glinda did not understand what she meant, she felt it, felt her protection, her love.

“You are too nice… for a Wicked Witch” she said after a while, her eyes never leaving hers. Despite the Wizards words, Elphaba saw her in there, she was not completely gone, she would not accept that. She chuckled at her words smiling kindly. If Glinda was truly fully gone, she would not let her in this easily.

She wanted to reach out again, pull her into her arms. All the things they used to do, Elphaba wanted that again, but she needed to accept the reality. She missed her, her best friend. Weirdly she noticed it even more when she was sitting right in front of her. She missed her quirkiness and the way she always got her into a good mood.

“You should really get some rest” Elphaba smiled at her pulling the covers up a bit. Glinda nodded and despite the pain nuzzled deeper into her bed, wincing a bit at the movement. Elphaba’s heart broke at the sound. She stayed right beside her not moving, not daring to touch her.

Glinda looked up at her, feeling a strange sense of comfort at her presence. Elphaba brushed her hair back once again, this time making sure she was not touching her temple. She had to fight the urge to just cuddle up next to her.

Elphaba missed the feeling of safety, she was unsure when she even last felt it. But Glinda always managed to make her feel safe, even know, in the Wizards Tower, the last place she was actually safe. The way Glinda looked at her, before closing her eyes, with so much care, reminded her just of the old times.

It took a while for her to fall asleep. Elphaba did not dare move and kept her eyes on her constantly, watching her. She wanted to keep an eye on her, she felt like she owed her that, after all she has been through. She looked so peaceful sleeping like this and Elphaba felt an ache in heart wishing to just take her away from this place, but she could not, not like that.

Elphaba had thought about it, but forcefully taking Glinda away would be wrong. She wanted Glinda to want to follow her, because else she was no better than them. She would find a way to restore her memories, and then they would flee, far away where no one could find them.

She could not do much right now anyway. The Wizard was using Glinda against her. It was clear, when she would return to helping the animals, he would hurt Glinda, even worse than he did already.

She hated that she was so selfish, but she never questioned her priority, it had always been Glinda. She would not dare to risk her getting hurt again. After all, she had to protect her, she promised her that.

Elphaba did not want to leave, but she knew she had to. A nurse would come soon and look after her. The Wicked Witch sitting by her bed would not make a good look. She was done endangering Glinda, she had to find a real solution to her memory loss to get her back.

Elphaba slowly moved off the bed, not letting her eyes leave her. She wanted to kiss her forehead, tell her how she felt, she probably would never find out, but she held herself back. It was too early for that.

“I’ll come back for you, I promise” she whispered, before moving away from the bed and towards the balcony door. She is moving quietly to not wake Glinda, who was curled toward the side of the bed where Elphaba just sat.

Taking a last look at her, she moved to grab her broom and move back outside into the cold night air. She closed the door gently behind her and took off into the night. Her mind on one thing and one thing only, Glinda. She would bring her back, she had to, she could not watch her suffer any longer.

Notes:

I'm currently reimagining the story a bit. I had originally planned for Glinda's room to be the only setting, but I’ve expanded it, which resulted in chapters like the last one (5). I hope that’s okay with you! I really love this story and want to dive a bit deeper than I initially planned.

Anyway, I was quite emotional while writing this, and I think it shows, but don’t worry, better times are coming for these girls, I promise.

You all keep me motivated, so thank you! It’s always such a joy to read your comments.

Chapter 7: Losing Myself

Elphaba wanted answers, no, she needed answers. She needed help, but finding help was not entirely easy for her. She was a wanted criminal, the wanted criminal. Her options were limited. It took her days to find someone who might be willing to help her.

Her sources led her to a fox, hidden deep within the woods. He was staying far away from civilization, like most animals these days. It hurt Elphaba that she was unable to do more at the moment. The Wizard knew exactly what he was doing and how to keep her at bay.

She traveled a long way to meet up with the mysterious fox in the woods of Winkie Country. Her broom carried her, while her thoughts stayed with Glinda. She wondered what she was up to right now and how she felt, what she wore and what she thought. These days her mind stayed with her, all the time.

She lands at the end of the forest, a place an animal contact told her about. Here she would meet the fox who could supposedly help her. She waited for a while, before the fox appeared behind a tree, seemingly hiding to test the waters.

“Hello” Elphaba greeted him with a kind smile nodding in his direction. “Hello Elphaba” he greeted her back, walking towards her “Had to make sure it’s you”. She smiled at him and nodded understanding. Animals had it so much worse these days. They had to be extra careful. She was very thankful that he was even helping her, getting seen with her always ended badly for everyone involved.

“Thank you for helping me” she said, after he started leading her deeper into the forest. “Of course, you have done a lot for us. It’s good to know some people still care about the injustice happening”. He continued checking his surroundings.

Elphaba knew how hard life out here was, but seeing is herself was still something different. Especially when she endangered someone for even helping her. She kept telling herself it was for everyone’s good, when Glinda was safe, she could continue her work. At some point she would have to start being honest with herself, until now she did not waste one breath thinking about anyone’s safety but Glinda’s.

“This way” He kept leading them deeper into the forest. “He doesn’t see many anymore, since… you know”. Elphaba nodded apologetic. She hated how after one year she barely achieved anything, despite making the Wizard angrier. Still he was scared, else he would not have started using Glinda against her.

They soon arrived at a building tucked away under the huge trees. Ivy crawled its way around the stone, making it seem like nobody has stepped a foot in, in decades. Elphaba observed it for a while. “He’ll greet you inside” The fox nodded towards the damaged door.

“He?” she clarified. “He can help you, with your problem… He’s probably the only one nowadays”. Elphaba took another look at the fox before descending towards the house.

“How can I make it up to you?” She asked the fix kindly. “Just, don’t forget what you are fighting for” he replied, before disappearing back into the trees. Not much daylight reached the ground she wandered.

Elphaba took a last look around before entering the lost building. It did not look much nicer from the inside. The inside was dimly lit with candlelight. Piles of old books, some even covered in spiderwebs, were lying around on tables, chairs and even the floor.

Just as she entered and took a look around a voice greeted her “I have been expecting you, Elphaba”. She turned around in surprise and was looking directly into the eyes of an owl. “My name is Ivix” he introduced himself.

Now it made sense to her, she once read about him in a book, back at Shiz. He was a known philosopher and a scholar on many topics, like magic. Dr. Dillamond once told her about him, they were good friends, before everything happened.

“You are a friend of Dillamond” Elphaba said, not intending to speak her thoughts aloud. The owl nodded at her before flying over to sit on the back of a chair. Now the candlelight was reflecting on him, showing Elphaba the deep brown coloring of his feathers.

“I was” he corrected her “Before all of this happened, tell me, how is he holding up?”. Elphaba swallowed at his question and looked down. Despite her new-found support and her missions to free animals, she did not have any luck in finding her professor.

“I have not seen him, since he got… taken” she confessed. Ivix did not show much of a reaction, it was not like he was expecting something else. Elphaba had small victories, but overall the situation worsened.

“Is that why you have come here today?” he asked her after a while, not wanting to talk about Dr. Dillamond any longer. It seemed to pain him. “No” She shuttered almost, trying to collect her thoughts. Glinda, she was here because of her. Right Now, it seemed even more selfish than on the way here.

“The Wizard… He’s got someone who is very important to me. He keeps using her against me. He did something to her, something that made her forget who I was, forget everything she was. Sometimes she reacts to the things I say, and I feel like deep down she still remembers. But its like her mind is scattered or something, because whenever she remembers, she forgets again.” She started, making sure he listened to every word she said.

“And... and she has this mark here” She moved two fingers to her temple “like a bruise and its very sensitive”. She stopped for a second. “I don’t think its magic, the Wizard does not have any and from what I know, it would not leave such a mark”. Ivix listened to her words with interest, before flying over to a nearby bookshelf.

“There are different forms of memory loss” he began softly. “When we are in an environment of pain, somewhere we don’t feel safe, the mind sometimes hides what it cannot bear to hold. That is Repression, the mind wants to forget. But that is not the case here, at least not entirely”.

Elphaba’s mind drifted back to the Wizards words once more

“Memories are fragile, they aren’t as… permanent as one might think. With the right touch, they can be rearranged, modified or erased. You must understand, these are not repressed memories. They are not locked away, waiting to be freed. They are gone”

“From what you have told me, It sounds more like he intentionally wanted her to forget certain things… like you”. Elphaba thoughts went back to Glinda, like they always did. She was closer to finding out what he did to her, but the more she knew, the worse she felt. What if she had just taken her with her that day? Even if it was against her will, she would be safe now.

“Magic is such a fascinating thing, don’t you agree Elphaba? You know where I come from, we don’t have magic, well not the kind you know, a different kind one might say”

“That’s what he said…” She mumbled to herself, as Ivix continued looking through his books “who?”. “The Wizard…” she clarified. The owl stopped in his tracks and turned his head to look at her, his voice lowering in confusion “You talked to him?”

“Yes… when he threatened me… he said her memories aren’t repressed, but gone. He said he used magic from his world not ours… what does that mean?” She looked him in the eyes waiting for answers he probably did not have.

Ivix looked away from her “What you’re describing here sounds more like foreign science… I don’t know much about these techniques”. Elphaba was not satisfied with his answer and crossed the room to position herself in front of him “You must know something”. Her tone was more demanding, it sounded like he was hiding information from her.

“The bruises you mentioned, they indicate that she has been undergoing some… treatment. A physical one, most like a form of torture with electrical contact.” He paused for a second to let his eyes drift anywhere but Elphaba “Her mind was practically burned away”.

Elphaba took a step back, her eyes going glassy and her breathing quickened. That bastard not only took everything from her, but tortured her, in the worst possible way. Elphaba felt sick, like she had to throw up. She felt sadness, anger and rage, so much rage. He had to pay for what he did.

“How do I reverse it?” She asked suppressing the emotion in her voice. She had to stay strong, for Glinda. Rage always led to her downfall, ironically her powers were the strongest when she was in rage, or maybe it was just her most common emotion. Ivix looked away from her again “You can’t”.

Elphaba closed her eyes, she felt the room around her starting to vibrating dangerously. Some books falling to the ground. She had to control herself, but how. The room suddenly felt too small, suffocating her, sucking the air out of her lungs.

“You can’t, most of who she was… It’s gone, you can’t restore it”. Her throat felt tight with tears. No, she could not and would not accept that. Glinda was still in there, she had to be. Elphaba promised her to bring her back.

“That’s it? You expect me to do nothing?” Her word's came out harsher than she intended them to be, It was not his fault after all. Stills he came here for a solution, and he just made everything worse. “Some of her memories are maybe just repressed… Like you said, she had a reaction to your name” he tried to calm her.

“That’s not good enough” She mumbled, turning around to look through the books. Tears escaping her eyes, even as she tried to hold them down. Her hands were shaking so her grip on the books tightened. She was supposed to just watch? Her Glinda was gone? Forever?

“Maybe she will not remember your time together, but what it felt like to love you” he tried to reason her. Elphaba just shook her head, that was not enough, she promised to bring her back, she would not give up that easily. Ivix felt her rage, and it worried him more than he wanted to admit.

“Elphaba, rage has never solved problems, only made them worse. She would not want you to react like this” he calmly said, trying to soothe her. Elphaba turned around, her voice louder than before “How would you know what she’d want?! She cannot tell us, because she is gone, because he took her! And you tell me I’m just supposed to accept that”.

Her rage turned into despair the second she spoke those words. Warm tears traveled down her cheeks faster, and she fell to her knees, hiding her face in her hands. She leaned against the bookshelf and pulled her knees to her chest. She was unable to stop herself from sobbing.

Ivix flew over to her and landed next to her on a few books “Elphaba, I know the world has been cruel to you, has taken and never given. But she is something good, and you have been granted a second chance with her. She is still out there. You can still change things, maybe you cannot bring her back fully… but you can love her just the same”

Elphaba knew what he thought, at least she would not remember all the pain, the torture and what else she did not know yet. But his words seemed to calm her down after a while. Her breathing returned to normal and her tears stopped. Tears would not bring her back, she thought.

“There might be something. But it is not in my library” He started, and her head lifted in an instant, her eyes focused on him. “Where?” she asked with a glimmer of hope, could he not have mentioned that earlier?

“Yours” he simply answered. She opened her mouth to question him, but then it hit her. The Grimmerie. She stole the Grimmerie from the Wizard. Not only was the book very powerful, she has cast a spell successfully before. She could do it again right?

She stood up fast, not wanting to waste any more time. “But be careful, the mind is a very fragile thing, she could end up even worse than before…”

“I have cast spells before-” “But the mind is dangerous, spells like that rethread the soul, it could end up not only changing her, but even kill her… and you know a spell cannot be reversed” he interrupted her.

“I have to try” she answered, not facing him. She was determined to try, she had to, for Glinda, that’s what she would have wanted, right?

“The danger isn’t solely in the spell. It’s also in whom you’ll become if you cast it without her consent. Getting a taste of messing with one’s mind, can lead to things way more dangerous” he warned her, not knowing if she was even listening.

Elphaba stayed like that for a while. Was she doing the right thing? She could not afford to think like that now. “I’ll fix this” she said, partly to him, partly to herself. Her mind was racing, but she knew what she had to do.

“Don’t lose yourself” he added, as she opened the door and left his house. The worry in his voice clear. Elphaba was determined, maybe to determined. He could not blame her, after all she has been through. The girl was the only thing she had left, she would not dare lose her again. He would have to keep an eye on her.

Notes:

To be honest, this was quite difficult to write, since I can’t really dive into the science behind it, like, how would anyone in Oz even know that? Anyway, I came up with this wise owl (yes, very stereotypical, I know), I really wanted to use Chistery for this chapter, but canonically it wouldn’t make sense. And I really hate plot holes, so everything has to make sense, well let’s see how this goes. I’m definitely diverging from what I originally planned, so I just hope it all still comes together in the end.

As always, thank you guys or your support!

Chapter 8: Only Ours To Remember

Notes:

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!!!
(for those of us already in june)

Elphaba was sitting on her bed. Her history book was sprawled on her lap as she took notes on a block lying next to her. Her bed was full of other books and notes, having barely any space to even sit on it. Elphaba was buried in her book, noticing nothing around her. Not even as her roommate stormed into the room.  

“Elphie!” Galinda rushed over to her friend and tossed the books of her bed. She sat down next to her and gently pulled the history book off her lap. “Galinda what are you doing?” she chuckled lightly as Galinda leaned down to let herself take the place in her lap. Her head now in Elphaba’s lap and her eyes locking with her roommates.

“I’m studying” Elphaba protested, not being able to flee her roommates enchanting gaze. She was never able to resist those beautiful eyes. “You’re always studying” Galinda complained pouting, never breaking eye contact.  

“You’re the smartest person I know, you don’t even need to study” She continued, making sure Elphaba’s focus was solely on her. Elphaba opened her mouth to complain, but no words made their way past her lips.

“Come with me tonight” Galinda said with determination. Elphaba chuckled lightly in response. She hated parties, socializing still was not her thing, even now that she was more popular. She liked the quiet of their shared room. She liked being alone, alone with Galinda. Here nothing else mattered, it was only them.

But that was not the only thing. Fiyero, Galinda’s boyfriend, was there as well. He was not that bad, she had to admit, but whenever he was there, Galinda’s attention was divided. She hated to admit it, but she did not like sharing her, especially with Fiyero. But she would never dare to tell her, he was her boyfriend after all, she was just her roommate.

“You have Fiyero” she argued, not daring to break eye contact, she did not want to give her feelings away. Galinda groaned and moved away from her lap to sit up facing Elphaba. Elphaba already missed the warmth her friend provided.

“But I want you” Galinda said with a smile, moving to grasp her hands. Elphaba froze at that, Galinda probably did not know what she just said and what it meant to Elphaba. She smiled to herself “I think I’ll stay here” she said softly, before getting up and collecting her stuff from the floor, that Galinda had recently thrown off without much care.

“Elphie, come on” Galinda pleaded without letting her eyes leave her roommate. Elphaba tried ignoring her as she collected her stuff and carefully set it down on her table. Without looking back, she sat down at the table and opened her book again to start studying.

Galinda walked up behind her and let her arms wrap around her neck. Elphaba relaxed into the touch, leaning back without even realizing it. “Please come with me” Galinda whispered, letting her head rest on Elphaba. “I can pick out something for you to wear” she added with a smile. Elphaba chuckled lightly at that, of course she would.

Galinda moved away to look through Elphaba’s closet. Elphaba shook her head at that. She loved that Galinda was always full of energy. She also loved how she was always so optimistic and carefree, a clear contrast to her overthinking. She never wanted to be without her ever again.  

Her eyes stayed on Galinda as she was highly concentrated going through her closet. Elphaba liked watching her do the simplest tasks. It was making her feel all domestic. Being with Galinda made her realize all the things she wanted and missed from her life for so long.  

“Here” She pulled a dress out of her closet and showed it to Elphaba. “I like this on you” She looked for her roommate’s approval “It enhances your… beauty”.

“My beauty?” Elphaba questioned with a smirk at the way Galinda was suddenly so flustered. She locked done blushing and corrected herself “your chest”. Elphaba chuckled at that and walked over to her, taking the dress in her own hands.

“I don’t really like showing off my skin, you know that” Elphaba replied, checking the dress out, considering it for a moment. “Well you should, it’s beautiful” Galinda replied honestly. “My skin?” she asked for reassurance with a raised eyebrow. Nobody has ever called her skin that, it was weird, and she did not think that possible.

“I mean it” Galinda replied, her voice laced with vulnerability. Elphaba was confused at the honesty.  She could not imagine anyone meaning those words, not even her best friend. Elphaba groaned at that and shook her head chuckling “sure”. She moved over to continue studying but felt her roommate’s eyes on her back.

“Please please please” Galinda whined, having returned to her energetic self “You never say no to me”. Elphaba rolled her eyes at that, of course she was right, she could never deny her anything. But she hated Galinda for using it against her. Elphaba really did not want to go to that party, but did she really have a choice in that matter?

“Okay” she obliged after a while having Galinda squealing and jumping around like a little kid who just got ice cream, it was cute. She had to hide her smile from Galinda as she pulled her up from the chair and threw her arms around her.

Galinda had this way of forcing physical contact on her, which she did not at all mind. It was quite enjoyable really. She has never been hugged or anything really, so having a person provide all that for her was beyond imaginable. Galinda could not even begin to imagine how much all that meant to her. She appreciated the blonde girl’s presence more than she would ever dare say out loud.

 

 

 

Soon Galinda was ready, having picked her outfit hours ago. Elphaba still felt a bit uncomfortable, but having her roommate reassure her certainly helped with her confidence. The two went to the location. Some house near campus, belonging to one of the students. The moment they entered the house, they were separated.

Fiyero greeted his girlfriend with a kiss on her cheek, which made her chuckle, weirdly performative. Her eyes left Elphaba for a second, saying something to Fiyero, which Elphaba could not understand, it was way too loud. Some other students motioned her over, she was still getting used to her new popularity.

Since Galinda seemed to be too busy with Fiyero she decided to join the group of students shyly, not like she had anything better to do, plus it was better than standing leaning against a wall with crossed arms observing everyone else having fun. The moment she left Galinda looked around, uncertain where her friend went.

“Where’s Elphie?” Galinda asked Fiyero a bit too concerned. He only rolled his eyes in response “You see her all day long, spend some time with me for once” He handed her a drink, which she could not refuse. She chose this, she had to play her part.

Elphaba did not want to give her roommate all of her attention, but it was hard fighting it while she looked so beautiful. She needed no alcohol to be completely drunk off of her. She laughed as Fiyero twirled her, the most beautiful sound, and Elphaba could not even hear it over the noise, she was so close and still so far away.

Galinda kept stealing glances at Elphaba, trying not to stare. Fiyero kept her busy and made sure her cup was never empty. He was not a bad guy, he looked handsome and had this charming, flirty persona. Every girl and boy on campus was jealous of her, yet she could not bring herself to even care. Her public image was always very important to her, that was why she did this in the first place, but deep down she knew if he was not a prince and influential, she would steal a second glance at him.

She hated how even in a drunk state, she did not enjoy his company the way she should, he was her boyfriend after all. She should feel things for him. Like how she never wanted to be apart from him, but somehow that was rather how she would describe her feelings for someone else.

Her mind drifted back towards beautiful black hair and the gentleness of the touch of a green-skinned girl she was luckily enough to call her roommate. Her scent was captivating, and she felt herself relax whenever she felt the warmth of her hand in hers. Sometimes she pretended to have nightmares, so she would have a reason to snuck into Elphaba’s bed at night.

She was too scared to admit that she really just wanted to feel her close. She should not feel like that. People did not feel that way about their friends. Her parents always made sure to show her where her place was and what was expected of her. Elphaba was not part of that plan In any way, still she was the only thing letting her feel alive for a while.

The alcohol in her system certainly was not helping her at all. Fiyero barely noticed his girlfriend being somewhere else with her mind. After all, she was not the only one feeling kind of trapped in this relationship.  

She pulled away with him barely noticing, he would not miss her absence very much. Mentally she had been absent the entire evening. Her mind was clouded, but she knew what she wanted. As she wandered across the room she spotted her roommate quite fast.

“Let’s get out of here” Galinda whispered as she leaned in close to her ear, her hand finding hers. Elphaba was surprised by the sudden contact. After all, Galinda had been spending her entire evening with her so-called boyfriend, why now?  

“Won’t your boyfriend miss you?” Elphaba replied, without turning around. Galinda huffed in response, she did not care. Her hand squeeze Elphaba’s, who unintentionally interlaced them. Galinda smiled to herself at her reaction and leaned against her “you hate parties, come with me please?”.

How could Elphaba resist this, she had been waiting for this moment the entire evening, she just did not want to give in this easily. She turned around and followed Galinda outside, her hand never leaving hers and providing a much-needed warmth and security.

Outside, the cold night air flooded Elphaba’s lungs. It was more than just refreshing. The sounds of the party drifted off, as they left everyone else behind. “Slow down” Elphaba laughed as Galinda dragged her away with urgency. She slowed down with an apologetic smile directed towards her roommate.

“Sorry, just needed fresh air” she lied. Elphaba shook her head with a smirk, keeping their hands intertwined “and I’m the one who hates parties?”. Galinda chuckled, and they settled with a comfortable silence for a while. Their presence calming each other down. It was hard to imagine that not all too long ago they used to loathe each other, did they really though?

“The pink ones are my favorite” Galinda said, pointing towards the tulips, growing at the side of the path. Elphaba smiled at her, slightly amused, but also completely in awe with her blonde companion “really? The pink ones. Who would have guessed that?”. Galinda chuckled and pushed her slightly, not realizing the force she used in her slightly drunk state.

Elphaba was taken aback by her use of force and stumbled backwards, falling directly onto the ground. Her landing was softened by the tulips now buried under her. “Galinda!” she exclaimed with shock, but laughing as she realized her friends own shocked reaction. “Oops” she only managed, before starting to laugh herself and stumbling over towards her and landing almost on her friend herself.

“I’m sorry, are you hurt?” she asked worried, still smiling at the stupidity of her own doing. “I’m okay” Elphaba smiled, trying to sit up and remove the leaves of the pink tulips from her dress. “Let me help” Galinda said, without much thinking as she moved forward to practically sit in her lap. Her fingers reached out and gently helped her clean up.

Elphaba could not help herself but stare at the beautiful girl in front of her, now impossibly close and seated on her lap, like it was the most normal thing ever. She was so gentle with her, her fingers ghosting over her skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Elphaba wanted to say something, tell her how important she was to her, but she did not know how she would even start.

Elphaba moved her hands up to rest on her roommate’s waist. It only felt natural. Galinda smiled to herself, trying not to show any reaction, but that was impossible, having Elphaba looking at her like she hung the stars herself, like she was the only thing in this world that mattered. She tried to keep her focus on cleaning her up, but at this point she was only looking for an excuse to touch her.

Galinda moved her hands to Elphaba’s face, inspecting her carefully, like she was still looking for tulip leaves. “I think you’re all set” she whispered, almost inaudible. Galinda’s thumb gracing her skin gently, needing to feel Elphaba beneath her, she was grounding her at this moment. Neither of them made any Instance to leave their current position.  

Neither of them dared to say another word, the air between them charged with tension that had been building up for too long. They did not dare to look away from each other, nothing else mattered at this very moment, only them. Galinda let her eyes drift off towards Elphaba’s lips, they looked so soft, and she wondered how it would feel like to just let go for a moment.

Without even realizing it, she leaned forward, slowly, so Elphaba could pull away at any given moment, but she did not. She wanted this just as much as Galinda did. She closed the space between them and let their lips meet. Elphaba’s grip around her waist tightened as her lips started to move against hers in a gentle embrace.

Their kiss was soft and slow. Galinda moved her hand to Elphaba’s neck and pulled her in more, getting lost in her taste. Their lips moved against each other in unison, like they were always meant to. Their bodies were firmly pressed against one another, as the world around them faded away, nothing else mattered.

After a while they broke apart to catch their breaths. Galinda smiled as her fingers moved through Elphaba’s hair, brushing it back to look at her face. Elphaba could not help herself, but smile as well, seeing the beautiful expression on her roommate’s face. She was still in trance and unable to comprehend what had just happened. It felt like everything came together and suddenly made sense to her.  

She was in love with Galinda, she had been for a while. The realization dawned on her, and it felt like an explanation for all her feelings. She had never been in love before, had no idea what it was supposed to feel like, but everything she felt when being around her roommate, seemed to explain it to her.

“Was that your first kiss?” Galinda asked softly, breaking the spell they were both under. Her hand continued to move through her hair. “Yes” Elphaba admitted, wanting to look away, but Galinda kept her grip on her, making it impossible to move away. “Was it… bad?” Elphaba asked, making Galinda’s eyes go wide.

“What? No!” she reassured her, moving her chin up to meet her eyes. Her eyes searched Elphaba’s, and she leaned in closer again. “It was perfect” she reassured her with a smile, whispering it like a sacred promise, as she let her fingers grace her cheek gently. Her affection was making it hard for Elphaba to not just kiss her again.

“I’m happy to be your first” Galinda added with a smile. Elphaba could melt at those words, feeling the intensity of her eyes on her and the intimacy they shared. But then it dawned on her, Fiyero. Galinda’s boyfriend, who was only a minute’s walk away at the party, was the one supposed to do these things, not her.

“What about Fiyero?” She asked carefully, not wanting to ruin the moment they just shared. But somehow the mention of his name did not seem to matter to Galinda. She thought back on him for a second. He never made her feel anything, not even a bit of what she was feeling at this moment, here, with Elphaba

She simply shook her head “Fuck Fiyero” and to Elphaba’s surprise leaned in to kiss her again. This time their kiss was a bit more intense. Galinda moved closer and applied more pressure by pulling Elphaba closer and tilting her head to get a better angle. Elphaba let her lead and feeling like she was descending to heaven, she could die right here, happily.

They had to break apart again to let air flood their lungs. Galinda let her forehead rest against Elphaba’s. Their breaths mingling as both were unable to stop smiling. After a while Elphaba raised her voice again “I think the pink ones are my favorite too”, making Galinda smile even more. For now, nothing else mattered, they could face the consequences sometime else.

Notes:

Okay, so this was something a little different! First of all, I'm sorry, I drunk wrote this (how fitting, right?), so there might be some inconsistencies and stuff. I’ll read over it later, I promise. Secondly, what do you guys think about these flashbacks? Would you want me to do more? I’ve been having a lot of ideas, and I’d love to know what you enjoy reading about in this story. Also, to keep things as open as possible, I’ve been trying not to specify Glinda’s eye color or Elphaba’s hairstyle, but I do picture the movie versions while writing, so apologies if I accidentally slip up on that

Note to my fellow Swifties: I was listening to You Are in Love while writing this. In my mind, it’s a perfect Gelphie song anyway

Chapter 9: Things Unsaid

A few days later, Glinda was back to her usual self, well usual self in how she was these days. Confused, rather quiet and plagued by loneliness. Elphaba made sure to have one of her bird friends watch over her during the day, so she would be aware of any new advantages of the Wizard.

Glinda was unaware of that. Mostly she just felt lonely, so the presence of the green witch always felt like a blessing. She did not even care that it was wrong, she was their enemy after all. But she felt so empty, it was not like she had anything to lose. Her mind was broken and scattered, despite not knowing how it happened, she could feel it, deep inside of her.

Maybe it was a blessing, she sometimes thought, what if whatever was missing was just pain and sorrow. But her curiosity was bigger. Not like sorrow and pain was all she felt, despite not knowing what she was missing.

The tulips on her desk kept her strangely cheerful, for just being simple flowers, that grew everywhere in Oz. Most of her time she just sat at her desk staring at them, like they would give her answers to questions she was too afraid to ask.

The Wizard and Morrible tried to help, but she was a bit tired of them trying to help her. She did not like the image they had of her, the helpless, broken girl that could not do stuff on her own and needed someone to tell her what to do. She wanted to be seen as a person, and she wanted to be taken seriously.

It was getting late, and the cold air engulfed Glinda. She did not want to close the balcony door, in case someone might have to use it, she told herself. She wrapped herself up in a blanket and walked over to her window. Glinda found herself staring out there more often nowadays. Searching, for answers, for her.

From her angle, she could not see Elphaba arriving on her broom. She silently landed on the balcony and moved with graze through the open door. Glinda felt her presence in the room, and she could feel herself relax.

It was a strange feeling, like her body knew something her mind did not. She wanted to understand it, but if she has learned one thing from her time here, it was that her emotions were the biggest mystery known to her, she never understood how they worked or why she felt the way she felt.

“How are you?” Elphaba’s voice ripped her out of her thoughts. She turned slightly to look at the witch, now standing in the middle of the room. She looked different than usual, stressed or even angry, a look Glinda had not seen her in before. But that look vanished as soon as their eyes met.

Her shoulders relaxed, and her gaze softened the moment she got a clear look on Glinda’s face. She still looked tired and worn out, but better than the last time she saw her. The picture still haunted Elphaba at night, how she looked while in pain, curled up on her bed.

“I’m okay” Glinda answered with truth. She was plagued by this feeling most of the time, nothing really mattered. She was always just “okay”, never good, never bad. But Elphaba’s presence brought her a certain sense of meaning.

“How is your-” Elphaba moved her hand up to touch her own temple in order to demonstrate what she was asking. Her eyes never leaving the girl in front of her. Still, even despite everything, she looked so beautiful.

“I’m better” She reassured her with a slight smile, resisting the urge to touch her temples. They were still very sensitive to touch. She had to remind herself off that. Sometimes she touched them mindlessly, and it would usually result in her being unable to concentrate.

They stood there for a while, just staring at another. None of them dared to move, like the air between them was sacred, and they did not dare break the spell. “Sit” Glinda offered gesturing towards the bed, not wanting to be hostile. They were way past their early encounters by now.

Elphaba was taken slightly taken aback by the offer, but followed her suggestion and gently sat down on the neatly made bed. Glinda fiddled nervously with her fingers, before deciding to head towards her closet. “I have an… appearance tomorrow” she started, as she opened the door to her big closet and rushed through her clothes.

Elphaba watched her every movement. She was very glad about how Glinda seemed to warm up with her and seemed more comfortable with her presence. Still the thoughts of the Wizard lingered, what he had done to her. Thinking about him, just filled her with anger. Elphaba tried to bury the feeling, right now, here, with her, she did not want to have these feelings.

“Which one should I wear?” Glinda asked, holding up a pink dress with flower engravings and a light purple dress with a longer skirt. Elphaba did not have to think twice about this decision. “The pink one” she answered with certainty.

Glinda took a second look at the dresses and hung the purple one back into the closet. She observed the pink one carefully “why?” she asked Elphaba without looking back at her. “Because it’s your favorite color, and it suits you best”.

Glinda smiled at that, but then reality hit her. Elphaba would not even be able to see her in it, so what was this even for. Elphaba saw the change in her expression and tilted her head slightly “What is it?” her voice laced with concern and care.

“You won’t even see it” Glinda confessed, still observing the dress, before looking back at her. Elphaba smiled to herself “Don’t worry I’ll be there”. Glinda’s eyes widen at that, it was dangerous. She shook her head, she should not even care so much about the other woman’s safety, she was still the enemy.

“But… if someone-” Glinda started, but was quickly interrupted by Elphaba “they won’t”. Glinda looked down, trying to fight the warmth spreading through her body at that. Still, a smile appeared on her face as she let her words sink in.

Glinda rushed to get the dress back into the closet. Elphaba’s gaze fell to the tulips she brought her. They were dying, slowly but certainly. She would have to remember to return with new flowers next time.

Her heartbeat quickened as Glinda took the place next to her, their legs brushing against each other. They returned to silence, a comfortable one. Elphaba thought about her next words carefully, she did not want to scare Glinda off, still she needed to pave the way slowly.

“Do you ever think about leaving?” she asked carefully, her voice laced with vulnerability. Glinda scrunched her eyebrows at that question. What did she mean by leaving? Leaving emerald city or leaving the Wizards side altogether. Elphaba sensed her confusion and jumped in “You could go back to Gillikin” she suggested.

Glinda thought about that for a second but shook her head “No I can’t, I’m needed here… this is my home”, the last declaration almost a whisper, as if she did not know if the statement was true. Elphaba knew she would not get the answer she wanted, Glinda would not want to leave just like that, she had no reason to, yet.

“It does not have to be” she started carefully, like she was walking on glass. “It can get quite lonely up here doesn’t it, I bet your parents would be happy to have you back home”. Glinda shrugged her shoulders, her parents were nothing but a mere flicker in her mind, she felt like she barely knew them.

Elphaba swallowed hard, she was not the only one erased from her mind. This made perfect sense, after everything she has learned from Ivix. He simply took everything from her, including her identity. How could she convince her to leave this place, run away and never return?

“You know” Elphaba started, turning her head to look at Glinda sitting next to her “home does not necessarily have to be a place… it can mean many things”. Glinda tilted her head slightly, like she did not understand what she was saying. “It could be a person” Elphaba added, turning her head away from Glinda.

Her heart ached saying those words. Like someone twisting the knife. Glinda seemed to think about her statement for a while, her gaze wandering “I don’t have many friends”. Elphaba’s heart broke at that once again “you used to have a lot of friends” she smiled slightly, letting her mind drift back to the bubbly girl she once was.

This time Glinda did not protest. She did not tell Elphaba to stop, almost like she accepted it, that she was once someone else, that the girl Elphaba talked about, was in fact her. She shifted from her position and moved back on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

“What about you?” she asked to change the focus away from her. “What about me?” Elphaba asked turning around to face her. “Where is your home?” the question hit so much deeper, than it was intended. Elphaba lowered her gaze, how was she supposed to answer that question.

For most of her life, she would have said nowhere. She did not feel at home with her father in Munchkinland. Despite loving her sister, it was never a place she liked or felt welcome in. Then everything changed when she got into Shiz. At first, she felt even more out of place, but Glinda changed that, Glinda changed everything she thought she knew.

Glinda was her home, and just as she found her, she was taken from her again. Still, sitting here on her bed, with a bunch of people running through the palace wanting to kill her, she felt a strange sense of being at ease, even though this Glinda did not remember her. But the care and love she felt, whenever she looked her never faltered. She was completely under her spell.

“I wish I knew” she replied with a sad smile. Glinda was seemingly satisfied with her answer, like she was not the only one struggling with these thoughts. She smiled sympathetically, still her curiosity did not die down there. “But you have a place you are staying, right?”

Elphaba nodded and moved over to sit next to Glinda on the bed, leaning against the headboard as well. “I’m staying at multiple places… it would be too dangerous to just stay at one place” she explained, while Glinda listened carefully to her words.

Her body moved on its own, turning towards Elphaba as she listened intensely to her words. Their legs brushing, igniting sparks in both women. “But where will you be sleeping tonight?” Glinda asked with worry, it was still strange to her how she started to care for this woman, after a few brief visits.

Still, Elphaba felt oddly familiar to her and her presence seemed to calm her down. With her here, she was able to forget about everything else, the Wizard, Morrible, her role in all of that and the Witch hunt for the woman sitting next to her.

Maybe she should not have asked her that question, she was still her enemy, even though it did not feel like that. Elphaba should not even give her that kind of information, she herself did not trust herself with that kind of information.

Elphaba had that thought for a second as well, but she trusted Glinda, even this version of her. She wanted Glinda to trust her, so she needed to trust her first. “There are a few animals that let me stay with them. In a forest right at the edge of the Emerald City”.

Glinda’s eyes widen at the very precise information. She shifted in her position, observing Elphaba. Why was she telling her the truth? It could endanger her. She could give the information right to the Wizard, and he would know exactly where to find her. But she would never do that, Elphaba was a kind person, not like the witch he wanted her to seem like.

As a cold breeze blew through the room she naturally shifted closer, letting her head rest on Elphaba’s shoulder. Elphaba froze at the sudden motion. Glinda seemed to trust her. A smile spread across her face, unable to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. Glinda nuzzled closer, getting into a comfortable position.

Elphaba relaxed letting the warmth the blonde girl provided spread through her. It has been so long since she felt like this, since she had been this close to Glinda. She was making progress. Maybe one day they could be what they once were. No, she had to stop these thoughts from consuming her, Ivix proved the Wizards words, her Glinda was gone.

But the Grimmerie was still in her possession. She could try to restore her memories, bring her back. There was a lot that could go wrong, but she would have to try, right? Glinda would want her to do that. At least that’s what she thought she would want. This Glinda made her promise not to use her magic on her, she could not break that promise now, they were doing so well right now. Glinda was beginning to trust her again.

But once the memory was regained she would understand, would she? It was still against her will. Her mind was at war, she did not want to wait any longer, every day that Glinda was here, and she was visiting put her as risk and would give the Wizard more opportunity to abuse his power over her.

By the time her focus shifted back on Glinda she was already asleep, still leaning onto Elphaba. She reached out and gently brushed her hair back from her face. A smile spreading across her lips as she looked down at her. She looked so comfortable, so peaceful. She wished to stay like this forever, just here in this moment with Glinda.

But she knew staying too long would be dangerous and the last thing she wanted was for Glinda to get into trouble because of her. So, after a while she gently moved her to lay down, placing her head carefully on one of the pillows. Glinda sighed in her sleep as Elphaba carefully pulled the blanket from underneath her up and gently placed it over Glinda.

She lingered there for a second, just taking the sight of her in. She wanted to curl up next to her, but she could not. They have made a lot of progress today, she had to give herself that. Glinda was beginning to trust her.

This time she did not hold back and leaned forward, placing a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead.

Elphaba pulled back and took one last look at the girl, before heading towards the door. She took a look across the room, making sure she did not forget anything, before flying off into the night. She would return and she would make Glinda remember.

Notes:

OKAY WICKED FANDOM, WE ARE SO BACK OMG!!!
Not only is the For Good trailer releasing VERY SOON (still feels like a myth tbh, are we sure this trailer is even real atp), BUT ALSO VANITY FAIR DROP!!! AHHHH GELPHIE NATION HOW ARE WE HOLDING UP??

I wasn’t even planning to update right now because, you know finals, studying...responsibilities
But like, how am I supposed to focus when all this is happening??

ALSO I’m so happy because Marissa Bode is now a confirmed Gelphie shipper!!! (Check out her TikTok if you haven’t already, she talks about the sexualities of the Wicked main characters and it is everything) I just love this woman

So with all these good news, I had to give you guys another chapter! I hope you enjoy it, and as always, thank you for the kudos and comments <3

Chapter 10: The Cost of Silence

The next morning, Glinda woke up by sunlight shining into her face. She groaned and turned in her bed. She forgot to close the blinds the previous day. Her limbs felt heavy, and she did not want to get up. Facing the Wizard and Morrible was the last thing she wanted to do right now.

She blinked slowly, her eyes adjusting to the bright light. Her eyes fell on a bouquet of fresh, pink tulips. A huge smile spread across her lips. Her thoughts drifted back to her, Elphaba. She remembered her warmth, her gentleness, and her soft-spoken voice. She could get lost in the thoughts if she was not careful enough.

A loud knocking on her door ripped her from her thoughts of Elphaba, her little secret. She got out of bed and got dressed. Normally, these days were draining and taking away all of her little energy. But today was different. Elphaba would be seeing her at her appearance, and even if she would not see Elphaba herself, she would be there, that was enough.

Her happy state was quickly interrupted by another loud knock telling her to be outside in five minutes. She finished her makeup and headed out her door. She was immediately stopped by a guard “Ms. Glinda, you are expected to meet with Madame Morrible.”

Glinda swallowed hard, she had totally forgotten about her scheduled class with her mentor. Her mood instantly dropped. “Sure” she answered with a practiced smile that did not quite reach her eyes. The last thing she needed right now was the old woman barking at her about how useless she was.

Glinda was walked towards her mentor’s office. The guards never let her walk anywhere alone. She was always being supervised. For her own safety, of course. Those were the Wizard's words. He was always making sure she was ‘safe’. Who would have thought safety would end up meaning no privacy?

By now, she knew it was completely unnecessary. They were supposed to keep her safe from the Witch. Said Witch came visiting her at night in her room. Which was the only place Glinda was ever alone, not supervised, and not being constantly watched. She was allowed to just be herself there.

Most days, she hated what ‘herself’ meant. She barely even knew who she was, after all. But Elphaba saw something in her, something she never quite saw in herself. She was an escape from her tiring reality, something real. Something she has never felt before.

They arrived at Morrible’s office too soon. Glinda swallowed hard as she was sent in, the door closing behind her with a loud thud. “You’re late” Morrible greeted her with a strained voice, sorting through some books without even turning to look at her student.

“I’m sorry” Glinda answered. She looked down as she crossed the room. Morrible has always been such a presence. Glinda never saw her smile or have any other expression than one full of disapproval, which was always directed at her.

Morrible just shook her head as Glinda took her seat at the table. “Have you practiced?” She asked in a harsh tone. No matter what answer Glinda would give her, it would be the wrong one. If she said no, she would get lectured about her attitude and how she took everything for granted. If she said yes and had to demonstrate, Morrible would be just as mad. Glinda simply was not good enough, not for Morrible.

“Yeah, a bit” Glinda answered, almost a whisper. Her gaze fled her teachers, not wanting to look her in the eyes. She would never be good enough. She barely even had any magic. Even if she did, it would not change a thing.

“a bit? What is a bit supposed to mean?" Her mentor replied sharply. Her heels clicked as she crossed the room with heavy steps. Glinda did not look up at her. Her eyes stayed fixed on the floor, hands twitching in her lap.

“I didn’t-” Glinda began, but the words died on her tongue.

The smack was quick. It was not loud but cut through the room like a blade.

Pain spread across her cheek before her mind caught up to what had happened. She did not dare to move. She did not speak. She just sat there, eyes wide and teary, ears ringing, and cheeks burning. Morrible stood still over her, hand still partially raised, as if daring her to speak again.

 “You look me in the eyes when I speak to you” she hissed, looking down at her student. Her voice was harsh and cutting through the air between them. Glinda, still in shock, nodded at her mentor’s order. She finally looked up, her eyes finding hers. Her lip was still quivering in shock.

“You are never going to become a sorceress like that” Morrible’s voice was made of pure disappointment. Not that she expected anything from her student. She let her eyes trail over Glinda. She was still shaking. Morrible shook her head again, walking in the other direction, finally letting her eyes trail off.

“I always knew you didn’t have what it takes”. Glinda bit her lip. She never managed to do anything magical, as far as she knew. She often wondered if she ever would. Very few people possessed magic these days. She only knew of Morrible, Elphaba, and the Wizard, of course. While Morrible was the only one she had ever seen to use magic.

While the Wizard was known as the most powerful magical being, she had never seen him use any magic. Morrible always told her he needed privacy, space to work his magic. Maybe she needed that as well. But Morrible would never let her.

“You cannot keep lying to them forever, you slip, and then you endanger us and make the Wizard seem weak, a liar even. Do you want that?” she asked coldly. Glinda shook her head, despite Morrible not looking at her. “No, I don’t want that” she replied.

“Then practice harder!” Morrible ordered, turning back around to look Glinda straight in the eyes. Glinda’s fingers twitched in her lap as she tried to hold eye contact with the woman in front of her. Morrible slammed a coin down in front of her. Glinda flinched at the sudden motion.

“Levitate,” she ordered her student. “What?” Glinda asked, confused. She just told her that she could not do it, that she was unable to use magic. How did her mentor expect her to pull this off?

“Levitate it!” she repeated her request. “What if the Witch attacks? Do you think that smile of yours will keep people safe?” She snarled. Glinda swallowed hard. Elphaba would never attack her, in fact, she would never attack anyone innocent, right?

Glinda, still shaking slightly, closed her eyes to calm her breath. She tried to focus only on making the coin float. If she could even do that, it did not matter now, she had to try. She swallowed and opened her eyes again to watch the coin. She focused and grabbed her training wand, trying to conjure any magic. But nothing happened.

Morrible was watching her with an emotionless expression. Glinda grew frustrated. How would she ever even achieve something if her mentor herself did not believe in her? She shook her head and let her gaze wander through the room, away from her student.

“I’m trying-” Glinda tried, but Morrible silenced her with a gesture. At least, this time, she did not hit her. “Trying is not what we need” she snaps at Glinda. “Trying will get people killed”. Glinda held herself together, barely. She wanted to snap at the woman, tell her how wrong she was about her. But deep down, Glinda did not know if she even had magic, if she ever even would. 

A knock on the door interrupted them. Glinda let out a sigh, feeling like air was brought back into her lungs after forcefully being sucked out. Unconsciously, she relaxed as her mentor’s focus shifted away from her and towards the door. “Come in” she ordered.

A guard stepped in, bowing to Madame Morrible in greeting. “The Wizard is expecting both of you for a strategy meeting”. Morrible nodded at him in acknowledgment and motioned for Glinda to follow her as she got up. Glinda got up, following her. Her hands were still shaking as she wrapped them around herself.

They passed the corridor in silence, Glinda not daring to speak to her. They were greeted by another guard and led into the room. A huge table was located in the middle of the room, with many chairs surrounding it. The room was dimly lit and without any windows. It was making Glinda feel even more caged than she already did.

“Thank you for coming” The Wizard smiled at Glinda and Morrible as they entered the room and motioned at them to take a seat. His hands were gripping the back of his chair tightly as he stood behind it. Glinda observed him carefully. He was good at hiding his emotions most of the time.

“The Witch was spotted in the Emerald City this morning” he began as the doors closed again. Glinda’s eyes widened. She tried not to let her emotions show. Elphaba had been spotted. Did they see her at the palace? At her room, even? If so, she was screwed. She had to warn her, tell her what they knew.

He looked at Glinda, trying to make out if she knew something. But Glinda tried not to let her feelings show. Morrible did not ask follow-up questions but rather observed Glinda closely as well. “Glinda, we have good reason to believe she is here for you” he explained in a kind voice. Glinda’s eyes drifted from Morrible back to him.

“What does that mean?” She asked, playing dumb as they observed her. “Your influence is what she wants from you” he explained. Having had this conversation before, a few days prior. Which Glinda, of course, did not remember. “You are a symbol of hope, she wants to take that from us”.

“We will train even harder” Morrible offered the Wizard with a quick glance at her student. Glinda shuddered at the thought. “And more guards, of course” she offered. The Wizard nodded. The air was full of tension.

Glinda noticed the looks between the two of them, they were hiding something from her. She did not dare ask what. They always treated her as something less. She would never have their full trust. She was fragile, Morrible always reminded her. She was not strong or brave.

“She will try to enchant her” Morrible added, looking directly at Glinda, who had her eyes glued to her lap, trying to gather her thoughts. “Glinda, we will protect you. So if you’ve seen or heard anything. You need to tell us” The Wizard told her, crossing the room to kneel in front of her. He grasped her hands in his, making her swallow hard.

She knew where Elphaba was, she had told her yesterday. Her mouth opened slightly. Morrible and the Wizard were only doing good, right? But why then could she not tell them? No words came out, and she shook her head, “I’m sorry that I cannot help you”. Her eyes did not leave his. She could see the spark of disappointment in his eyes.

Morrible watched her for too long. Glinda could feel her eyes on her. The Wizard noticed her discomfort. “Would you mind leaving us alone for a moment?” he asked Morrible. She was taken aback at his request but did not protest.

“Sure” She got up and opened the door, her eyes lingering on Glinda for a second longer, before she left the room and closed the door behind her. The Wizard offered her a smile once again. “I know she can be a lot”. Glinda chuckled in response. It was not an honest one, but she knew how to act around him.

His focus stayed on her. His hand travels up her arm and rests on her shoulder. She wanted to move away from his touch, but she knew better than to do that. He was the Wizard of Oz, after all. “I only want to protect you, Glinda,” he said softly.

She nodded, her breathing quickening. He smiled at her and brushed a loose strand back. The gesture was supposed to be caring and gentle, but it only reminded Glinda of how trapped she was. The power he had over her. She wanted to flee his gaze but could not.

“Do you trust me?” he asked her. “Of course” she replied, almost inaudible and hollow. She felt fear gnawing at her. She did not understand most of it. It was like her body knew something her mind did not.

After a while, he finally pulled away with a strange smile. Glinda offered a strained smile in return. He seemed to ignore it. “Good, then I’ll see you tomorrow”. She nodded and got up faster than intended. She rushed towards the door. As the door was ripped open by her, she earned a gasp from Madame Morrible. She was seemingly listening to their conversation. Glinda could not care less.

She just rushed away, back to her room. They knew, she thought. They knew she was lying. She was able to keep herself together in their proximity, but now she felt like the air was pulled from her lungs again. Her breathing quickened. Her fingers twitched uncontrollably.

She rushed through the corridors. As she reached her room, she pushed the door open with force.

She closed it and felt the weight of everything slam into her chest. Her back pressed against the door. Hands still on the handle, as if she could keep the truth out. Her knees gave in, and she sank to the floor. Glinda gasped for air that would not come. Her chest heaved. She trembled with shallow breaths that did not grant her enough air. They knew

Her fingers tugged at the fabric of her dress, trying to ground herself. She could still feel his hand on her shoulder. A quiet reminder of who held the power. She lied to them, and they knew. And still she had lied. For Elphaba.

Tears welled up in her eyes, she was scared. And the worst part was she was even more scared of them finding her than finding out she betrayed them. She was a traitor to the Wizard of Oz. Glinda did not even regret it.

She pressed her forehead to her knees, curling in on herself. She felt like a scared little child, hiding in her room. But nobody was here to comfort her. Her eyes flickered back to the tulips. They looked perfect, still, soft, and untouched by the cruelty of this world. She could not move. She was frozen in place. They knew

She tried to focus on her breathing, in and out. But her lungs did not obey. More tears. She pressed her forehead harder against her knees. Her arms clutched tightly around them as if she could hold herself together.

She sobbed uncontrollably. She could not breathe. Panic overtook her body. She could not hold back. She was unable to stop shaking. Her vision was blurred by tears. They knew

Glinda did not notice the faintest sound in her room. The movement. Her panic had locked her in place. Someone knelt down beside her. A warm hand reached out, brushing gently against her cheek. The pain from Morrible’s slap still lingered. But it did not hurt anymore, not with that touch.

She gasped for air again. But no air came, just a choked whimper. A thumb swept over her skin, feather-light, careful even. A familiar voice, barely above a whisper:

“Glinda…”

Elphaba

Notes:

GUYS. THE TRAILER!!! I haven’t shut up about it and honestly I’m not planning to. It’s so gay, like what do you mean Gelphie isn’t canon?! I cannot wait until November, like seriously how are we supposed to survive until then?

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this new chapter, stakes are definitely rising. And when I tell you how much I’ve added to this story, like It was originally supposed to be nine chapters and now I’ve got enough material to keep going until November (Manifesting that it works out, cause the AO3 author curse is very real)

Love you guys and thank you so much for reading <3

Chapter 11: Come With Me

„Glinda...“

Elphaba’s hands were fast on her face as she knelt in front of her. Glinda’s breathing was labored, and she did not lift her head, did not even look at her. Her entire body was curled up on itself. Knees pulled tightly to her chest.

She was trembling. Her shaky breaths made Elphaba sick. Her sobs were broken, caught halfway in her throat. Each breath was a struggle and barely any air got into her lungs. It was a fight, a fight Glinda was losing.

Her hands were clenched in the fabric of her dress. Her knuckles pale and nails digging into the soft fabric. Elphaba was not even sure Glinda even registered her presence. Her hand gently caressing the soft skin of her face.

“Glinda you need to breathe” she tried worriedly. The state of her friend was making Elphaba herself shiver in fear. What did they do to her? How far did they go this time? Thoughts were racing through her head, fear, anger and so much more. But right now; she needed to focus on the girl in front of her, saving her from herself.

“Glinda please look at me” she tried again. Her voice low, careful and steady as she gently held her face. Her thumb soothingly caressed her cheek. No response came from Glinda. There were only shallow, rapid, aching gasps as she tried to get air back into her lungs, without success.

Elphaba leaned closer, trying to tilt Glinda’s chin up to meet her gaze. “You’re safe” she reassured her “You’re safe now, I promise”. Her voice almost broke a little, but she had to be strong now, for Glinda.

Elphaba moved closer. Her knees touching Glinda’s thigh. Her body embracing the trembling form of the girl she so loved. “I’m right here with you, you’re not alone” she spoke softly as she tried to gain her attention.

And then, finally, Glinda looked up. Her eyes unfocused and full of pain. Her gaze found hers and eyes searching for something. Elphaba released a long breath and held her face gently, as if she could prevent her from falling apart completely.

“Breathe with me, my sweet” she asked of her. She leaned her forehead gently against Glinda’s. She kept on holding her tightly against herself. “In… and out, Just like this” she reassured her.

Slowly, Glinda’s breaths began to stretch out, still shaking, but less violently. Her hands reached for Elphaba’s arms. Her grip tight around her, as if she might vanish. Her nails digging into the thick coat. Her sobs still came, making her whole body shutter.

Elphaba shifted, wrapping her arms around her, guiding Glinda int her warm embrace. Glinda did not resist, her body leaning against Elphaba for support. She let herself fall apart, knowing Elphaba would hold her together. She felt safe, like home.

Elphaba held her tightly against her. Glinda’s forehead pressed against her collarbone, relishing in the warmth her skin provided. Her arms holding tightly to any fabric she could reach. Elphaba cradled the back of her head, fingers tangled into the soft blonde hair, while sobs racked Glinda’s body.

“I’ve got you” Elphaba whispered reassuringly into her hair. She held her tightly, not daring to let go. She would do anything to take away the pain, the fear and everything else that made Glinda this shadow of her former self.

Glinda just held onto her for dear life. She did not speak. Her breathing slowing down, while her sobs still drowned in Elphaba’s coat. She was completely wrapped up in her arms, legs tangled. The only thing calming her was the sound of Elphaba’s heartbeat.

“I’ve got you, my sweet” She repeated in a soothing manner, her fingers still brushing through her hair in a gentle motion. She held her like she was something sacred, something holy. Because to Elphaba, she was.

 

 

 

At some point Glinda’s sobs died down, and she began to breathe normally again. Her grip loosened a bit, but she did not let go entire and showed no interest in moving. “They know” she whispered, barely even audible. Her voice still weak from the crying earlier.

Elphaba looked down at her and reached for her face, carefully tilting her head to look at her. Her eyes were still red and puffy. Elphaba reached out to gently brush away any remaining tears. Glinda’s eyes stayed glued to hers “they know I’ve lied”.

“It’s okay” she whispered reassuringly, while not believing her words herself. Her thoughts were racing, if they truly knew, they would put her through it again. Her thumb kept tracing her cheek in slow, careful motions. Glinda unintentionally leaned into her soothing touch and let Elphaba take away her worries. It did not matter if she was safe, she felt safe.

A sudden thought went through her head, making her sit up in an instant. Their bodies still incredibly close and their legs still tangled. “You can’t be here… they saw you” her voice laced with worry and fear as she searched the green girls eyes.

“Hey It’s okay, I distracted them, they don’t know I’m here” Elphaba explained to her. Getting here during the day, was something she has not tried before, it was too dangerous. But the bird she sent to watch over Glinda, alarmed her, so she had no choice but to come. A few animals helped her to distract the flying monkeys and keep the guards busy, so she could sneak in.

“No, no Elphaba they saw you, here, in the city” She explained. Her thoughts went back to the earlier meeting with the Wizard and Morrible. Her hands were gripping onto her coat once again, securing herself “They’ll find you here”.

Glinda’s voice was more fearful than she intended. Elphaba had become her only good thing, she would not sacrifice that, even if it might be wrong. She needed her, she knew that now. “You’re not safe here” she added in a broken voice.

Elphaba grasped her hands tightly, intertwining their fingers. She began to trace her soft skin with her thumb to calm her. Her gaze found Glindas. “Neither are you” she softly whispered in reply. Glinda’s eyes widened at Elphaba’s words. She knew there was truth behind it, but how could she trust her?

Elphaba made her feel so many things, seen, safe and cared for. Despite that, she made her feel confused. Elphaba kept telling her how this place was a lie. How everything it stood for was a lie, how she was a lie. That there was so much more to her, than she thought. She told her about things that never happened, could she really trust her?

She had never lied to the Wizard or Morrible, Elphaba made her do it, she manipulated her into doing that. Would she truly do that?

Glinda did not even know herself anymore. Since Elphaba stepped into her life, she started to feel so many things she had never felt before. Suddenly, she was given a purpose. She had these new feelings, these new emotions. It was like she was not even alive, before Elphaba stepped into it.

Glinda retracted her hands from hers, unsure of what to think, what to feel. Elphaba’s eyes never left hers, as if she could feel every thought passing through Glinda’s mind. Her heart ached at the way she slightly pulled back from her touch. Before thinking, she spoke the words that have been on her mind for far too long. She could not lose her again.

“Come with me”

Elphaba could not stand Glinda being here any second longer, she needed to be out, she was in danger. They were killing her. The room returned to silence. Glinda did not speak, she was in shock. She knew Elphaba was thinking about it, but her saying it aloud was different. Her eyes wide in shock at the proposal.

“I… I can protect you, keep you safe, I promise. I will never let you get hurt again. We’ll go far away, where they can never find us…we can leave right now” She began to ramble as she saw the uncertainty in Glinda’s eyes. She had to come with her, she could not do this again. They had been here before, and she hated how that ended.

Her heart was breaking all over again as she looked into Glinda’s eyes, she was never good at goodbyes. It was just like back then, when Elphaba asked her to come with her. Glinda did not say no, but she saw it in her eyes.

“Please” she begged her, her voice broke, and her plea sounded more desperate, than she intended it to. Glinda opened her mouth to speak, but no words made their way past her lips. Elphaba could see it in her eyes, fear. Glinda was afraid on leaving her life behind, for Elphaba. Just like she had before.

“I barely even know you-”

Glinda started, not knowing what the words did to Elphaba. Elphaba’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces at that. Her chest twisted breath catching in her throat. The words echoed through her mind. She felt like someone had stabbed her and now twisted the knife in the wound.

“No” she said quietly, getting up suddenly. Her legs unsteady as she pushed herself off the floor. Glinda was taken aback by her sudden movement and the change in the air surrounding them. Elphaba’s mind was racing, her hands forming into fists.

“You do know me” her voice was lower now. Her back was turned towards Glinda. The softness in her voice was gone, replaced with fury. She was furious. The Wizard and Morrible had taken Glinda away from her, they had taken everything from her. They broke her.

“You know me better than anyone ever has, they took that from you” her hands clenched at her sides. Glinda had stood up as well, her eyes following Elphaba’s movement. She noticed the sudden change in her and did not like it one bit.

Elphaba began pacing through the room, as if she physically had to contain the fire burning inside of her. It was eating her up alive. “We went to school together, you hated me at first, made fun of me, but you changed… you gave me this hat, Glinda”

She took off her hat and turned around to look at her once again. “We… we were roommates, and you had our whole room stuffed with all your pink things, and you had this crazy amount of pillows on your bed, even though you mostly slept in my bed anyways” she chuckled with a sad smile.

Her voice was louder as she recalled all their shared memories. Their once shared memories. There was nothing left of their past in Glinda’s mind. Elphaba could see it, as she told her all those things, there was no reaction. She did not remember.

“You used to drag me to these parties I hated and escaped with me when we’ve had enough” she added, hoping at least this specific memory had stayed with her, but nothing. No reaction from her.

“Glinda, you knew me!” she repeated, moving closer to her. “You were my…” her voice broke. “You were my friend, and they stole that from you, they stole you. They carved out your past and threw it away like garbage, like it wasn’t even real. Like we weren’t real”

Glinda stood frozen at her words. Elphaba was getting closer to her, her voice growing louder with every sentence. She was shaking, her voice faltering, tears forming in her eyes, even as she tried to suppress it.

“They took you from me” her voice rose again trembling. “You used to love me” She snapped “and now you’re just looking at me like I’m the monster they say I am”.

Glinda still stood there frozen, her back pressed against the door. Her glassy eyes staring at Elphaba “Please stop screaming” she whispered fearfully.

The words hit Elphaba like a punch in the gut. Her jaw was still clenched. Tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes red. She sucked in a shaking breath, taking a step back from her. She never wanted to scare her, she just wanted her to be safe. And now she was the one she needed to be saved from.

Glinda felt her own tears beginning to well up in her eyes once more. She did not understand why. She was scared of the way Elphaba was unraveling in front of her.

“I’m sorry-” Elphaba chocked out, taking another step back from her. Glinda never let her eyes leave her. Elphaba turned away as tears began to flow freely from her eyes. She was trembling, her lip quivering. She had to suppress her sobs as she reached for her broom and quickly rushed out the balcony door.

“Elphaba-” Glinda did not even have enough time to stop her. She rushed after her, but Elphaba was already gone.

“Come back…”

Notes:

I'm sorry

Chapter 12: The Things I Never Said

Notes:

hello guys I'm so incredible sorry for not updating sooner, i know a month is a long time and i left you all hanging on a pretty bad cliffhanger. But I've graduated, moved out, and just bought a new laptop a few days ago, so I'll be back now, don't worry.

anyway this is another flashback chapter and will be a direct follow up to the last one (chapter 8) in case you want to reread :)

It has been a few days since their kiss. It felt more like weeks to Elphaba. Galinda was drunk, she knew that, and still it all felt so real, but, was it? Galinda had a tendency for dramatics and oftentimes Elphaba did not know for sure what the girl really meant and what was just for show, even when it was just the two of them.
Galinda never would have kissed her in public, even if she was not dating the prince. It would damage her brand or rather the prestige ‘Upland name’. 

Elphaba preferred thinking about the circumstances rather than talking to said girl about it. Galinda has not mentioned it either, she just acted as if nothing happened. But Elphaba could not do that as easily. Galinda was used to putting on a mask and pretend, she was not. Everyone saw right through her.

So, she was not a very outgoing or loud person, she would not just confront Galinda about it. Despite, not knowing about her intentions kept her in the illusion that Galinda meant every word she said to her. That she meant to kiss her, that she wanted to kiss her just as much as Elphaba did. But the truth might hurt her even more. 

So instead of talking about it, she simply closed herself off more, it was easier. Elphaba was used to get disappointed anyways, she had no expectations and knew it was wrong to have them. People like her did not get what they wanted or hoped for, no expectations would make it less painful. 

She decided to distance herself, physically and emotionally. This morning, she got up earlier than usual and got ready for her classes. As she left their shared dorm, Galinda was still peacefully asleep, not noticing her roommate’s sudden departure. 

It pained Elphaba, but she could not and would not let Galinda see that. The memory of her still lingered on her lips. Her mind would not let go and wandered to places Elphaba would never dare to speak aloud. The blonde girl had her wrapped around her finger and she hated it. 

Galinda was too late for their first class. Of course, she was, without her roommate she would never be on time. She stumbled into the room with an awkward smile and quickly rushed to her seat next to Elphaba. As her eyes landed on her roommate, her gaze softened. 

Elphaba tried to act unbothered as her roommate sat down next to her. Her heart was rushing, she tried to ignore it. “You didn’t wait for me” Galinda whispered in a soft tone to her as the lesson around them proceeded. While Galinda’s eyes stayed locked onto her friend, Elphaba did not dare look at her and risk getting lost in her beautiful eyes. 

“Didn’t know I have to” she replied, while pretending to take notes on what their professor was explaining to them. Despite not looking at her, she felt the pain she was inflicting upon the blonde girl. Being the reason her roommate was in pain hurt her more than she expected. 

Sometimes it was like she could feel Galinda’s pain as her own. It was a strange feeling, and she was unable to fully understand it herself. But the amount of care she felt for her made every emotion she felt as if it was her own. 

Elphaba missed her whenever she was not around and wanted to be as close as possible whenever she was. It felt so natural to wrap her fingers around hers, to hold her hand. Nothing else mattered, no expectations, no rules, no limitations, just them. Galinda made her feel so safe, so seen. She looked at her like nobody else ever did. It was magical. 

“But you always do-” Galinda replied in a gentle whisper, one that pierced right through Elphaba’s heart. The pain in her voice was undeniable. “Sorry” was all Elphaba could muster up without looking at her. She felt Galinda’s eyes staring at the side of her face, her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something back. But no words came out. 

 

 

Later that day Galinda was out and about with Fiyero. Of course, she had asked Elphaba to join her, but she had declined, needing to study. She sat at her desk thinking about all the things Galinda would be doing out there with Fiyero. He could hold her hand in public, but his arm around her, kiss her. 

She had to get rid of these thoughts, she could never have any of that anyway. Galinda was his girlfriend and one day would most likely become his wife, it did not matter if she truly loved him, but he was everything she was not. He was rich, a prince and most importantly, a boy. 

How could she even think she would be able to focus on anything but her incredibly beautiful and breathtaking roommate. Elphaba hated the uncertainty. Eventually she decided that trying to study was not working, and she decided to go to bed. Galinda should be back soon, and she wanted to avoid more conversation. 

Falling asleep was just as impossible as studying she had to notice soon. Elphaba was laying on her side, her blanket pulled up to her face. She felt empty, in a way she was not used to. Elphaba was a sad person, she never really talked about her feelings or experienced enough care for her to open up. Galinda made her feel things she has never felt before, still the past would always be there and catch up with her.

It was already dark outside when Galinda finally got back. Her heels clicking as she walked into the room immediately searching for her friend “Elphie?” she called out worriedly, before spotting the girl wrapped up into her blanket. Elphaba had closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing, so she would appear to be actually sleeping. 

Galinda’s gaze lingered on her, a soft smile spreading across her face seeing her roommate looking so soft and peaceful. Still there was an ache, knowing she did not see much of her today and a feeling of loss, maybe she should not have gotten out with Fiyero and the others. 

She gently slipped out of her heels to not make any further noises and tiptoed through their room, gathering her stuff and eventually disappearing into the bathroom. Elphaba opened her eyes as she heard the door close and felt the ache in her chest becoming almost unbearable. She longed for Galinda’s presence. 

After a few minutes Galinda returned from the bathroom. Elphaba noticed how she stopped in the middle of their room. She did not hear her slipping into her own bed. Rather, she felt the mattress dip behind her and the faint rustle of her blanket being pulled back with careful hands.

Galinda had lifted the cover to slip under them next to Elphaba. With grace, she lay down behind her friend and pulled the covers back over them, tucking them around Elphaba like a cocoon. She was always so attentive, so deliberate in how she touched her, like Elphaba was something sacred to her. 

Slowly, she moved closer to her until her front was pressed to Elphaba’s back. Her hand moved up to gently stroke her hair back and let her nose nuzzle into her neck, inhaling her scent. A soft sigh escaped her lips, warm and delicate against Elphaba’s skin.

Elphaba, despite not wanting to, relaxed into the soft touch and presence of her friend. Galinda alone had that effect on her. The walls she built around herself cracked. Galinda alone had that effect on her, it was soothing and terrifying at once. 

The way her arm laid over her exposed waist, holding onto her. Elphaba hated giving in so easily, but how could she ever refuse Galinda. She was like a drug, and Elphaba was addicted. 

Despite her better judgement, Elphaba shifted to get more comfortable, and closer to Galinda, who hummed satisfied at their new position. The sound vibrated softly against Elphaba’s spine, intimate in a way that made her chest ache. Elphaba could feel Galinda’s hand reaching out, trying to find Elphaba’s. 

As their hands found each other, they immediately interlaced. It felt so natural. Her fingers were smaller but strong, her grip unwavering, grounding Elphaba in this moment. They fit perfectly together. Like they were made for it. 

Suddenly, Elphaba felt so much better. The emptiness and sadness long forgotten as she lay in the arms of the girl, she so adored. The ache in her chest dulled. The noise in her mind quieted. It was just this warmth, and Galinda’s fingers laced with hers, anchoring her to something real.

As Galinda’s thumb softly traced circles on the back of her hand, Elphaba wondered if maybe, just maybe, Galinda did mean everything she said and done and if maybe, just maybe, she wanted her just as much as she did. 

 

 

The next morning Elphaba woke up first. Galinda was still wrapped around her, her nose buried in her hair and her arms holding her tight, as if she was afraid, she would disappear. Which was Elphaba’s plan after all, she could not do this, it was hurting her. 

They would get up and head to class, Galinda would be next to Fiyero, he would put his arm around her and occasionally kiss the crown of her head or pull her closer. The thought alone made Elphaba sick. She wanted to do all those things, she wanted to hold Galinda and kiss her and be hers, her ‘girlfriend’. 

Gently Elphaba let go of her friend’s hand and tried to lift her arm off her, so she would be able to get up. Unfortunately, she was not as careful as she thought and Galinda stirred lightly, her brows furring. As Elphaba tried to get up Galinda reached for her arm and weakly tried to hold her back “stay” she mumbled still sleepy, it was kind of cute. 

“I need to go to the library” Elphaba lied, not moving. Galinda groaned in response, seemingly not convinced. “Before class?” she asked, looking right through Elphaba’s lie. “Have to study” Elphaba answered, getting up. Galinda’s hand slipped from her arm. 

Elphaba headed towards her shelf as Galinda sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes, still sleepy. Elphaba tried to ignore the movement behind her, she could not look at her as it would make the ache worse. Galinda watched Elphaba careful as she moved through her clothes, not daring to look at her. 

“You’re ignoring me” Galinda said, not harsh but rather sad. Elphaba pretended to be busy, as if she did not have her outfit ready already. “I’m giving you space” she replied in a cold tone. Galinda huffed and moved the covers aside to get out of bed as well “Why Elphie? I didn’t ask for space” she argued, crossing the room. 

Elphaba did not respond, of course Galinda did not understand the problem, how could she? She simply took her stuff, chuckled sadly and headed towards the bathroom. “Elphie I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, but you gotta talk to me” she pleaded with as she caught up with her, before she was able to disappear into the bathroom. She blocked the door, not letting Elphaba in and escaping their talk. 

“Don’t you have a boyfriend to talk to?” Elphaba huffed, not wanting to have this conversation. Galinda opened her mouth in disbelief but closed it again, her mind working. “This is about Fiyero?” she asked in disbelief. Elphaba shook her head, despite the truth behind her words, somehow this was about Fiyero. 

“No it’s about you Galinda and… well that actions have consequences for somehow everyone but you”

“It’s about the kiss?”

Silence. Neither of them has said aloud what happened since the party, so hearing Galinda say it out loud was different, it made it feel more real. Elphaba looked down not wanting Galinda to see her reaction. She felt her eyes burning into her head. 

“You were drunk, it was a mistake-”

“No it was not!” Galinda argued back, now seemingly mad at Elphaba for even thinking that. Her arms crossed in front of her chest as Elphaba tried to flee the conversation once more and returned to her shelf sorting random clothes, just to do something. 

“Well, you seem quite unbothered by it… does your boyfriend know?”

Her voice was cutting through the tension, harsh and cold. She was angry, she knew her hopes were too high and that Galinda would only appreciate her if it meant no sacrifice for her, the moment she was not convenient anymore, Galinda would sort her out like old shoes. 

“It’s not that simple Elphie. You can’t just expect me to break up with him, You don’t know what it’s like to have the whole world watching you”

“Seriously?! I know exactly what that feels like-”

Elphaba looked at her for the first time. Locking eyes with her made her softer instantly. Her anger turned into pain. “Or have you forgotten this…” she gestured at all of herself. Galinda went silent, not knowing what to say and not wanting to hurt the girl she cared so much about, Elphaba had gone through enough, she did not want to add to that list. 

“At least someone cares about what you do, I could disappear tomorrow and no one would even notice”

“I would”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do Elphaba, you are not the only one being in pain or unhappy. Do you think I like this? Do you seriously think I enjoy being with Fiyero and pretending to be his perfect girlfriend? Do you seriously think I enjoy living this Life? No, I don’t”

“Well, you are not exactly doing anything about it-”

“Elphaba seriously?!” 

Galinda huffed in frustration, how could her roommate stay so calm and unbothered? Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. She hated the walls that Elphaba built around herself, letting nothing and nobody through, she hated how much it affected her. 

“You think I kissed you because I was drunk? No. I kissed you because I love you- I’ve been wanting to do that for longer than I can admit. It’s not some fleeting thing, it’s this constant, unbearable ache. These feelings, they’re loud and messy and overwhelming, and I have never felt anything like them. Not even close. I lie awake thinking about what we could be, what we could have if we weren’t… us. If the world wasn’t what it is. I keep punishing myself for not being able to feel that way about Fiyero, or about any man, really. But the truth is, no matter how much easier my Life would be, I don’t want them. I want you. I want you, and I’m not ashamed of that. But I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been taught how to want something I wasn’t supposed to want. I’ve spent my whole life chasing the things I thought I was meant to need, and none of it ever felt like this. I’m scared, Elphie. I’m scared all the time. But don’t you ever think you don’t matter to me. Because you do. More than anything. More than anyone.”

Silence. Elphaba was stunned, her façade had finally broken down. Her mouth was open, her eyes wide. Galinda was fully crying now, her emotions overwhelming her. She could not look into her roommates eyes any longer, it was too painful. 

Elphaba did not know what to do or say, it was too much. She hated herself for making Galinda feel this way, she never wanted to hurt her, she meant the world to her. She wanted to slap herself, why was she being so stupid, say something stupid artichoke. 

As Elphaba tried to raise her voice Galinda stopped her, holding her hand up to interrupt her. Elphaba stilled, not wanting to upset her further. Her gaze softened at her roommate as she cried softly, trying not to let herself get too overwhelmed. 

“Galinda-”

“No” 

She whined, her voice broke as she looked down, keeping her sniffles to a minimum. Elphaba stepped forward anyway and gently reached out for her arm. Galinda flinched but did not pull back. Elphaba stepped closer and reached out for her, her other arm pulling her towards her, but making sure Galinda had enough time to pull back. She did not. 

Elphaba gently wrapped her arms around her, pulling Galinda fully into her embrace. “Shh my sweet” Elphaba whispered into the soft blonde hair. Galinda leaned against her chest and let herself cry into her. Her arms naturally found its way around Elphaba’s waist, as she clings to her. 

“It’s okay” Elphaba reassured her, softly stroking her blonde hair. Galinda’s finger cling to her shirt, burying herself in Elphaba’s chest. Elphaba felt her own eyes tearing up. She never wanted to be the reason Galinda cried. Her mind was unable to even process the words Galinda had just shared with her, about her loving Elphaba. 

Elphaba gently led them back towards the bed and helped her roommate lay back down. Galinda was still sniffling and crying softly. This time Elphaba pulled her closer, continuing to stroke her hair in a soothing motion. She inhaled her scent, relishing in the comfort it brought her. 

Galinda curled closer, needing to feel her friend’s warmth. Elphaba held her close. In here they could simply be themselves and had nothing to prove.

“I love you too…”

Elphaba whispered almost inaudible. Galinda heard it, felt it and pulled herself even closer. Despite them finally having talked about their feelings, the fear lingered. Galinda knew that they could never be. It felt like someone was twisting the knife. 

If only love were enough to fix anything.

Notes:

okay well, this was one of these additional chapter that weren't originally planned, but I figured to give a bit more background of their relationship pre memory loss and all. To give you all a bit more background, most of the canon stuff happens with these few additions, but we will eventually get to defying gravity and them parting ways, just that way it's a bit more dramatic. There will only be one or two more flashback chapters so don't worry in case you don't like them. so I'll go back to updating more regularly now

Chapter 13: A Whole new World

Glinda was walking through the lifeless corridors of the palace. Her heels against the floor were the only sound to be heard. Glinda hated the silence, it reminded her of how lonely she truly was. The guards escorted her right to her room, making sure we would not take another route or even go somewhere else.

Despite being the Wizards number one, she had no freedom. Only recently she began to realize how caged she really was. Thanks to Elphaba, she was aware of everything she did not have. Since her last visit, she could not stop thinking about her words, they were burned into her mind.

Were her memories truly erased? But why would the Wizard do that to her? So many questions and no answers. The only person who could provide these was gone, it has been days since she has last seen Elphaba, not sure if she would even return.

The days spent without her made her realize how much she actually needed the green girl in her life, how much she appreciated her presence. She did not do much, unable to escape the monotony of her reality.

The guard opened the door for her, and she went inside, thanking him, making sure to close the door behind her. She hated how little freedom she had. Her room was nice, but still a cage. She leaned back against the door, exhaling, as her gaze fell onto the open balcony door. She did not remember, leaving it open before.

“Elphaba?”

She called out carefully, not sure if she should even use the name in case someone was listening. She saw someone move from the place they were hiding. As soon as the black coat came into sight she knew her secret visitor had returned. Elphaba came into view, and for a few seconds, Glinda could not believe she was truly here.

Elphaba nervously fiddled with her hands, not sure if Glinda even wanted to see her again, after her outburst. She looked down, trying to find words. She did not know what to say as she saw Glinda standing right in front of her.

“Glinda, I’m sorry I-”

She did not get to finish her sentence as Glinda rushed into her arms, wrapping her arms around her middle and pressing her face into her chest.

“You came back”

Glinda mumbled, her face hidden in Elphaba’s coat. Elphaba stiffened for a second. That was the last thing she had expected to happen. She thought Glinda would be mad, or angry, and kick her out right away. It took her a second to return the gesture and gently let her arms find their way around the blonde girl.

It felt so natural and so strange at the same time. This was the first time Glinda had hugged her since they parted ways and her memories were erased. But the way Glinda relaxed into her felt so good, so safe. Elphaba inhaled her scent. It was different, but still Glinda, her Glinda.

“I’m sorry…”

Elphaba whispered once more. She hated the way she had acted at her last visit, directing her anger towards the one person she cared more about than anyone else. She did not care how anyone else saw her, the Wicked Witch, it did not matter. But Glinda, her sweet, should never see her like that.

“It’s okay”

Glinda said, as she separated from their hug to look up at her. Elphaba wanted to pull her back into her arms, missing her touch already. She always feared it would be their last. “I shouldn’t have left like that, I never wanted-”

“You’re here, that’s all that matters…”

Glinda unconsciously leaned back into her touch. Elphaba wanted to pull her close, back into her arms where she belonged. Elphaba had to resist the urge to brush a loose strand of her hair back, the need to touch her too strong. She gently pulled back a bit after a while and looked across the room, looking no different from when she was last here.

The flowers were neatly put into a vase, some of them dying already. Elphaba promised herself to bring new ones next time around. Her gaze continued to wander through the room, which seemed to bring Glinda out of her trance, and her eyes landed on a piece of paper on her desk.

Elphaba noticed how Glinda nervously looked over there and tried to make out the words on the paper. “Another speech?” she asked gently, but Glinda quickly shook her head and walked over to her desk to quickly fold the paper and tried to slip it into a drawer.

Elphaba smiled softly at her, hoping to convince her that there was nothing to hide. “It’s a letter” Glinda confessed, looking down. “For me?” Elphaba asked her, a bit taken aback. Probably, Glinda had written down her anger and uncertainty after her last visit.

“Called me a Wicked Witch?” Elphaba asked with a smirk, clearly amused. “What? No” Glinda finally looked up at her again. Elphaba had totally misread her feelings, or perhaps she was just used to it by now. Her eyebrows furrowed, looking sadly at her green companion. The way Elphaba so casually expected the worst from everyone saddened her.

They returned to an uncomfortable silence. Glinda nervously fiddled with the paper. After a while, she decided to hand it to Elphaba with puppy eyes. Elphaba was confused but nonetheless reached out to take the paper from her hands. Their fingers brushed briefly, igniting a fire in their wake.

“Don’t read it now… please”

Elphaba nodded and carefully put it into a pocket in her coat, right over her heart. Her eyes stayed locked on the blonde girl, who soon returned to her usual happier temper. While usual referred more to her before the Wizards brainwash. Elphaba cringed whenever she remembered how little she truly knew about Glinda’s treatment down here.

Glinda’s focus shifted to Elphaba’s broom. Her eyes lit up with a childlike interest. “How does it work really?” She asked as she crossed the room to take the broom into her hands and admired it. Her fingers gently traced the details on the wood.

“Magic”

Elphaba smiled at her gently, stepping closer. She liked the way Glinda felt way safer in her presence now, than she did mere weeks ago. She was glad to have a little piece of her girl back, even if it was just for a moment.

“I always wondered what it’s like to fly”

Glinda confessed, without realizing what she just said. Her eyes stayed glued on the broom as Elphaba shifted closer. She sensed the curiosity with which Glinda was eyeing the broom.

“Do you wanna find out?”

The question lingered between them for a moment. The tension growing as Glinda was still standing with her back towards Elphaba, so she was unable to read her expression.

“Don’t worry, I won’t steal you away-”

“Yes”

Glinda’s response was faster than Elphaba had to try and convince her. A smile spread on her lips. Glinda trusted her, even this version of her, this had to mean something, especially after everything that had happened. They might still have a future.

 

 

The air was cold as they stepped onto the balcony. Elphaba had the broom in between her hands, holding it tightly as she got on it. Glinda hesitated a second before stepping forward, lifting the hem of her gown to straddle the broom behind Elphaba. She slipped her arms tentatively around her waist, fingertips brushing the fabric of Elphaba’s coat.

Elphaba made sure that Glinda was holding onto her, looking back over her shoulder. “Hold tight” she murmured, before wind began to swirl around them and Glinda could feel the magic doing its thing.

The broom suddenly took off and rushed forward, up into the sky. Glinda gasped, her hands clinging tightly around Elphaba’s back. The broom was going insanely fast, as they were rushing up into the night sky.

Glinda pressed her eyes shut, not wanting to look down and see the city underneath them. Elphaba chuckled lightly at Glinda clinging onto her with such force. Glinda could feel it, as her cheek was pressed into Elphaba’s back. For her, they have never been this close before.

As they got to close to one of the Emerald City buildings, the Broom took a sharp turn. Glinda squealed and pressed herself even closer. Another turn, then another.

For what felt like an eternity for Glinda, the broom slowly began to level. Elphaba guided them higher, toward the open stretch of sky above the Emerald City. The wind gentled, the world grew quiet, and the two of them hovered in silence as the city seemed to get smaller beneath them.

Glinda slowly opened her eyes again, and her jaw dropped at the view, her grip softened. They soared slowly now, gliding more than flying. Only the slight hush of the wind could be heard. The city sparkled far below, a thousand tiny lights, but up here it felt like nothing else mattered.

"This is…" Glinda breathed out, in awe, "It's beautiful". Elphaba didn’t answer, a small smile on her face as she steered them in a long, gentle arc over the glowing rooftops.

After a moment, Glinda shifted forward, pressing herself closer. Her arms circled Elphaba’s waist not from fear now, but for warmth, connection. Her cheek rested against Elphaba’s shoulder blade, and when she sighed, it was contentment, not her fear.

Elphaba looked straight ahead, saying nothing, but her hand found Glinda’s where it sat against her stomach, and gave it a light squeeze.

They flew like that for a while. Glinda had never felt this calm.

 

 

Not too long after, Elphaba landed them on the highest spire of the Emerald Palace. Glinda shifted and unwrapped herself from Elphaba. She almost stumbled as she got off the broom, not used to the gravity any longer. Elphaba caught her, gently holding her waist “Be careful” she said with a smile.

Glinda blushed faintly, hoping Elphaba did not notice. Her focus was soon overtaken by the city around them. She took a step toward the ledge to have a better view. It was breathtaking, she could see so far. She had never seen this far, she barely had any clue what was behind the walls surrounding her.

She felt Elphaba’s presence behind her. She always felt her presence, it was so captivating. She had that strange effect on her. Glinda had never felt this way before. Elphaba calmed her, she was a grounding force, like a spell Glinda never wanted broken.

Elphaba was now standing right behind her, her hand finding its way back to Glinda’s back, like it belonged there. She gestured towards the horizon, “There’s Quadling”. Now she pointed in a different direction, motioning Glinda to follow her finger “And there is Munchkinland, during the day, you can sometimes see the tulip fields surrounding the town. That’s where I grew up”

Glinda looked up at her. At the mention of her hometown, Elphaba had this strange expression on her face, longing, agony, and something like melancholy. There is so much she wanted to ask, but she knew it was not the right time now. Her eyes lingered on the girl as she continued to point in different directions, showing Glinda the world.

Glinda has never felt so at ease. The cold air, Elphaba’s presence, and having this fleeting moment of seeing beyond everything she knew. Everything looked so beautiful. Glinda felt so many things she did not understand. Her strange pull towards the green witch, as well as the horizon and what lay beyond.

“You’ve seen it all?”

She asked curiously, her gaze wandering over the high spires of the city. It looked like some of them touched the stars directly. Glinda had never seen the stars like that. Her balcony did not allow her to see so much of the sky. She imagined Elphaba could fly up there, touch the stars, something she never could.

“Most of it… not all… not yet”. Elphaba turned her focus back to the blonde girl as she looked out into the wide-open world. She smiled as she saw Glinda’s childlike look of wonder. She looked longingly into the sky. Elphaba had not seen that look on her face since everything that happened. She could get lost in it, the most beautiful thing she has ever seen, no night sky could ever compare to her view right this moment.

They stayed like this. Glinda leaned into her touch, finding solace in the way Elphaba kept her close. Glinda even started to like the messy, rough coat she was wearing. She even started to grow fond of the weird hat, Elphaba still argued was a gift from her. Glinda would have never gifted anyone this weird hat, still she found herself admitting it weirdly empathized her face, her beautiful face.

Neither of them wanted this moment to end. But it was time. Glinda had to return, it was too dangerous to stay put here, with her. Elphaba shifted slightly “We should head back” she mumbled, unconvinced. Glinda nodded, looking down as Elphaba grabbed her broom.

Glinda wrapped her arms around Elphaba’s waist once again. She felt an unexplainable ache inside her chest, even as she was so close to her now. Elphaba would fly off again to who knows where, and she would stay behind in her room, waiting for a sign of her mysterious friend.

The flight back down was not long, and they landed on the balcony sooner than Glinda would have liked. She got off the broom and let her hands loosen from where they were settled around her waist. Both looked down, unsure of what to say.

Glinda heard a slight movement in her room. Her eyes widened. Elphaba opened her mouth to speak. Glinda was faster. She grabbed the girl and pushed her against the wall. Her hand came up to cover Elphaba’s mouth. Elphaba looked at her in shock, unsure of what had just happened. But she knew it was over if they were discovered.

“Glinda?”

A voice from inside her room called out. Glinda heard movement again. She panicked. They could not come outside. If they saw her with Elphaba- she did not want her mind to go there. Elphaba was pressed against the wall, in a corner not visible from the inside of her room. Glinda could feel her shallow breathing on her hand.

She called out, reassuring the person, possibly a guard on the inside she was there. The wizard seemed to trust her less every day. And he had a good reason to. Glinda was meeting with the enemy. But looking into her eyes, Glinda did not see the Wicked Witch of the West, just Elphaba. Her eyes were wide, mirroring the fear Glinda felt.

Her hand moved away and gently cupped Elphaba’s cheek. Her fingers ghosted over the soft skin underneath her fingertips. “Be careful” she whispered, mirroring Elphaba’s earlier words. Their bodies still pressed together, Glinda leaned closer, getting on her tippy-toes. She leaned in, her lips softly brushing the skin of Elphaba’s cheek.

The soft kiss on her cheek made Elphaba gasp, her breath catching. Her lips felt soft against her skin, Elphaba wanted to wrap her arms around her, take her, and fly away. She could not. But this felt very much like a victory.

“Yes, I’m here!”

Glinda called out, pulling Elphaba out of trace. The moment was over as soon as it started. Glinda took a step back, their eyes locking for a split second. But Glinda was gone, back inside, before Elphaba even had the chance to say or do anything. The ghost of Glinda’s lips still lingered on her skin. Maybe she still had a chance.

Notes:

Thank you all for your patience! So we're finally moving a bit forward... at least for now. So the lack of Elphaba's inner voice here is kind of intentional to focus on Glidna here and well you will see, there's so much more to come and I'm very excited for your reactions. anyways i hope you like this chapter, sorry for typos and as always thanks for reading <3

Chapter 14: The Promise I Made

Notes:

sorry for the long wait, I was on vacation

Elphaba’s thoughts have never been this loud before. Her mind kept racing, she was unable to focus on anything else. She was pacing up and down in her hideout. The Grimmerie lay open on a small tabletop. She had been reading, a lot. Glinda had been consuming her mind. Her beautiful eyes stayed burned into her mind.

Her mind kept on replaying Glinda’s words. They have made such progress. The last few visits since their flight went so well. Glinda had hugged her, she smiled at her much more, touched her and was not afraid to initiate things. Glinda asked her to fly, she was the one who kissed her cheek. She has changed, she has become less passive and actively pursued.

“I barely even know you-”

Her heart ached. Even after all their progress, all their time, this was not the girl Elphaba went to Shiz with. The girl she fell for. The blonde girl who was so ahead of herself, but somehow turned out to be a beautiful, caring soul, who could melt Elphaba’s heart with just a smile. She missed her terribly, every day.

As much as Glinda now was beginning to look like herself again, it was not the same, she was not the same. She felt such anger, towards the Wizard and Morrible. What they have done to her girl, she wanted to tear them apart. But even that, could not bring her back.

“Memories are fragile, they aren’t as… permanent as one might think. With the right touch, they can be rearranged, modified or erased. You must understand, these are not repressed memories. They are not locked away, waiting to be freed. They are gone”

She finally began to understand what the Wizard had meant. Ivix had explained it to her, but now, through her research, she had finally reached a conclusion. She understood what it truly meant, what the Wizard has put her through, what that meant for Glinda’s memories now.

“The bruises you mentioned, they indicate that she has been undergoing some… treatment. A physical one, most like a form of torture with electrical contact. Her mind was practically burned away”.

Torture. It made sense, it would weaken her physically. Her Glinda was too smart to fall for some manipulative talking. He probably tried that, it did not work. She could almost recreate it in her mind. Glinda had perhaps changed her mind, she did not want to stay with him, so he made her stay. It broke her heart and filled her with rage at the same time. Her sweet girl must have fought so hard.

But how could she restore it, how could she make this damage come undone and bring her back?

“You can’t, most of who she was… It’s gone, you can’t restore it”

Wrong, she could, and she would. But she finally understood the science behind it all. The electrical contact Ivix mentioned, it had disrupted her so-called synaptic connections. Not only that, but it had also destroyed her neurons altogether in the part of her brain responsible for retrieving old memories. So, practically Ivix was right with that, but Elphaba was a Witch.

“Maybe she will not remember your time together, but what it felt like to love you”

Elphaba had just proven that to be true. Glinda did remember that, somehow. She did not understand that part herself, how did emotions survive such severe damage? But they did, the way she looked at her, that had to mean something. Though her mind could no longer recall the details, her heart remembered. The emotions had carved themselves too deeply into her soul to be erased

Through her reading she has learned a lot about spells that worked their way around the mind. They were dangerous and delicate, but Elphaba may have finally found her solution. Memories are threads. The trauma burned them at the ends, left them adrift. The spell finds the frayed ends and weaves them back into place, if the heart still remembers the pattern.

“But the mind is dangerous, spells like that rethread the soul, it could end up not only changing her, but even kill her… and you know a spell cannot be reversed”

Yes, but Elphaba was powerful Witch, she knew that. If someone could do that, it was her. She would not be careless, not with Glinda. She kept pacing through the room. It would be overwhelming, emotionally and physically, but Glinda could do it, this was important. She would understand the necessity.

“The danger isn’t solely in the spell. It’s also in whom you’ll become if you cast it without her consent. Getting a taste of messing with one’s mind, can lead to things way more dangerous”

Elphaba was aware of the dangers, but she knew her Glinda would want this just as much as she did, she had her consent. Once her Glinda was back, she would understand, she would have done the same. She would want this. She just doesn’t remember that yet.

“don’t… don’t bewitch me”

Glinda’s words echoed in her mind, she had promised her not to do this. But she had to, how else would she get Glinda out of there, she would not come willingly. Yes she promised it, she also promised her that she was safe now, which she was not if she was in the palace. Maybe Glinda would disagree with her right now, but her safety mattered more now. She had to do it.

She remembered the way Glinda had looked at her, the night she showed her the night sky, the stars. She loved her, more than she would ever know. Elphaba knew what she did was selfish, but how could she not when it was for the girl she could not live without.

Her eyes flickered over the open Grimmerie and the notes she took, her plan to bring back Glinda’s memories. Casting the spell from here would not work, she had to be close, impossibly close. How would she even do that without Glinda taking notice? She would object, maybe even disrupt the spell, which could result in things unimaginable.

No, she could not risk that, there had to be another way- The Grimmerie seemed to read her mind. The pages began to flip by itself. They stopped and opened on a site depicting a sleeping spell, a portion. Her eyes widened, this was it. She would temporarily put her to sleep, work her magic and when she would wake up, she would be herself again. Glinda did not need to know it ever even happened.

 

Elphaba landed on the balcony as always. Glinda lately left the door open, just in case. The moment Elphaba landed Glinda was fast in her space, smiling like a schoolgirl as she rushed forward and without a second thought wrapped her arms around her friend.

Elphaba let her hand move into her hair out of pure instinct. Her fingers gently brushed through the soft strands of blonde hair. She did it subconsciously, like she had so many times before. Back at Shiz, Glinda had trouble sleeping sometimes. It was the only thing that would help her relax and fall asleep. Elphaba would lie if she said it did not help her to relax as well, it was soothing in a way.

The hug was long and Elphaba caught herself closing her eyes and inhaling her scent. She quickly stepped back as soon as she realized. Glinda was beaming, her smile so infectious. Elphaba almost forgot about her plan. Everything seemed so right in this moment, except it was not. Glinda would not come with her, willingly.

Glinda showed her various new dresses and Elphaba could not help but smile at her excitement. The thought of doing something she did not want, broke her heart. But the thought of Glinda having her memories back, of Glinda being safe was much more convincing. She had to do it, now.

She asked Glinda for tea. Glinda of course, was intrigued by the idea and boiled some water, making them fresh tea. Elphaba was quick. Letting her enchanted flower leaf slip into Glinda’s cup. The leaf quickly dissolved, leaving no trace.

They settled down on the bed. Glinda holding her cup in between her hands, letting its warmth sink in. She moved to sit close to Elphaba, who was holding her own cup, with no real intention to take a sip. Glinda kept talking, her angelic voice finding its way automatically under Elphaba’s skin.

This should be enough. Her warmth, her trust, her smile. But what if he touches her again? No, Elphaba could not and would not let that happen. Their shoulders brushed, the touch igniting a fire within them both, neither pulled back.

Elphaba waited. Glinda grew more tired fast, her head coming to rest on Elphaba’s shoulder. She yawned and drifted off to a deep sleep. Elphaba simply watched her for a while, letting her fingers get lost in her hair. Her beautiful girl. Soon she’d have her back. Elphaba leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Glinda remained motionless.

“I’m sorry”

She whispered against her soft skin. Elphaba felt a mixture of guilt and shame, what was she even doing here. But the feeling did not last. She has come so far, there was no turning back. She had to bring Glinda back, no matter the cost.

Elphaba gently laid Glinda down, making sure she was resting carefully on her pillow, before getting up. She had brought the Grimmerie along, pulling it out if her bag. The page opened on its own, knowing what Elphaba would do. She sat down next to Glinda on the bed, pulling the book into her lap, her fingertips hovering above the page. The words glow faintly. Her lips began to move.

Everything became a blur. Elphaba felt the air shift around her. The magic made the room feel heavier. The words went over her lips like she had said them a thousand times before. But she could not even hear her own voice as she looked at the girl peacefully sleeping, unaware of the magic Elphaba was working.

“don’t… don’t bewitch me”

If only there was another way- no, Elphaba needed to focus. Her magic began to thread from her fingers and found its way to Glinda’s temple. Thin intricate lines of emerald, how ironic. She closed her eyes, feeling the magic draining her energy. It was a difficult spell, she knew that. Focus, she reminded herself.

It became harder and harder to stay in sync with her own magic. Like her magic was trying to make its own thing. Her voice shaking as she kept on reading the words aloud. This had to work, there was no other option.

Her hand began to shake and her breathing quickened. Maybe she was not powerful enough. She had to focus. Thinking was not in for her right now. Then she remembered, she was working two spells at once. The conflicting magic would snap back.

The moment the realization hit, a crack, then a wince. The thread had snapped, breaking the spell. The remaining magic left Elphaba’s fingertips and shattered at Glinda’s temple, breaking the spell.

Glinda’s vision blurred with white-hot flashes. Her skin prickled, like fire racing through her veins. Every nerve screamed with the echo of the Wizard’s torture. She jolted awake with a pained cry, a sharp pain at her temple. Her eyes were wide in terror. Her hands clutching the side of her head.

Elphaba did not move, too much in shock. Her hand was still held up, were mere seconds ago, here magic had worked its way into Glinda’s mind. The Grimmerie lay open on display.

Glinda trembled violently, the pain almost unbearable, and all to familiar. She looked around disoriented. Her expression pained and full of confusion. Her hand moves at her temple as if trying to claw something out. Her mind is flashing with distorted lightning, memories of pain. She has felt this pain before, but she just could not remember.

“Glinda? Are you hurt?”

Elphaba finally broke out of her trance. Her voice breaking, but she tried to hide it. Her hand moving to close the Grimmerie fast. Glinda could not know. Her hectic movement was the thing giving her away. Glinda’s eyes immediately darted towards the book.

“What did you do?”

She was breathing like she’s under attack. Her voice breaking as she asks the question, she was not sure she wanted an answer to. The Silence that followed was enough answer to her. She wanted to get away. She shifted on the bed, still disoriented. She almost fell off the bed, trying to get away from Elphaba. The world spinning as she tried to stand uptight.

“It’s not what it looks like, please- are you hurt?”

Elphaba asked again, while moving towards Glinda. Glinda stumbled away, almost falling to the floor, trying to get away from her. Her eyes helplessly dart around.

“Glinda-”

“You-”

Her words did not form. Pain struck her again, making her cry out in pain. She fell to the floor, holding her head in between her hands, the pain becoming unbearable. Images flickered through her shattered mind. Memories, of pain. Wires. Sharp pain. Glinda did not remember details, but the pain. She remembered what it felt like.

“You- You did this to me”

Her voice broke, tears streaming down her face. Tears out of pain, fear and anger. Elphaba carefully stepped closer. Her eyes wide in shock. She caused Glinda pain, the same kind of pain the Wizard inflicted onto her. She was paralyzed, could not move. No, she would never hurt Glinda, intentionally.  

“Get away from me!”

Glinda finally managed to stand back up again. She pushed Elphaba off, who slowly stepped closer. She was shaking and almost lost balance once again. She had to get away. The Wizard was right, he has been right all along, she was all those things people called her, she bewitched her, she broke her trust and Glinda fell for it all.

“You promised! You promised you wouldn’t bewitch me!”

She blurts out with her last strength. Elphaba held her hands up in defense. She was trembling as well, still in shock about what she had done. Elphaba had done the one thing she was trying to prevent from happening. This time she could not blame the Wizard or Morrible, she was the one who inflicted horrendous pain on Glinda.

“What did you do to me?!”

Glinda cried out, still bringing distance between the two of them. Her sorrow was soon overshadowed by anger, rage. She hated how helpless she felt, how fast she let someone in, how fast she trusted this woman who was supposed to be her biggest enemy.

“I was only trying to help-”

“Help? You messed with my mind”

“No, I was trying to undo-”

“You tried to control me!”

“Glinda, I would never, I lo-”

“You took my memories”

“My sweet I-”

“Don’t call me that”

She almost screamed out in rage. How did she even let it come this far? Her mind was racing, she could call the guards, but the witch would be gone before they could even arrive, possibly even taking her hostage. She stumbled towards the door. Elphaba saw right through her and took another step towards her.

“Glinda please-”

“Get away from me Witch”

That landed. Elphaba flinched and stopped in her tracks. Her heart ached. These words have never struck her much before but hearing them from Glinda hurt more than she liked to admit. Tears started to make its way down her cheeks.

She hurt Glinda, her Glinda, the girl she swore herself to always protect. The girl who kissed her in a tulip field and slept in her arms, made her hair and always played with her fingers when she was nervous. The girl who smiled at her like she was the air she needed to breathe. She hurt the person she loved the most, her best friend, her girl.

“The Wizard was right, you are Wicked”

Glinda’s hand found the door handle. Elphaba’s paralyzed state giving her time to flee. She opened the door in a fast motion, stumbling outside in her barely conscious state. Elphaba would not follow her outside, she was not that stupid. Instead, she broke down on the floor. Her knees hit the cold stone, her sobs muffled against her palms.

Glinda could not hear her sobs as she stumbled away. The hallway spun around her, but she kept moving, she had to find the Wizard, now.

Notes:

I'm sorry.
After the last chapter, things were just going too well, too good to be true. I promise things will get better... at some point. Anyways as always thanks for reading, leaving comments and kudos <3

Chapter 15: What Lingers

Elphaba was unsure how she even made it back to her hideout in the first place. After Glinda left the room everything became a blur. She wanted to stay, god she wanted to run after Glinda, but that would have only made it worse. Her heart ached, she physically had to hold herself back from screaming. She did this, she hurt Glinda.

She did not even remember getting up and leaving the room, she wanted to stay, wait for Glinda, or guards who would come to arrest her. Elphaba did not even care about that even more, what was the use of it, Glinda would not want to see her again, ever.

She stayed there for a few seconds. Not wanting to leave. But she soon came to the conclusion that staying would not make a difference, so she left. She grabbed the Grimmerie, despite hating the book, leaving it hear would result in the Wizard retrieving it, which was even worse.

She flew back to her hideout. The broom landed on the ground in an instant as she threw the Grimmerie out of anger. The book slammed into a small table. Empty cups shattered, and things fell to the floor. Her fists curled in rage, making her nails dig into her skin. The pain did not matter, not now, not after she hurt Glinda.

“Get away from me!”

Her fist slammed into a shelf, making more things fall to the floor. Her anger only grew. Elphaba furiously lashed out at everything in her sight, all her things, vials, more shelves, and even her precious books. Her jaw was tight, her gaze hardened, the opposite of how she looked at Glinda.

“What did you do to me?!”

Elphaba could not get rid of the image in her head. The way Glinda screamed in pain, the way she crumbled on the floor, the way her hands held her head. Elphaba had inflicted the same pain on her, which she swore to protect her from. She did the wrong thing for the right reason. Still, it did not change the fact that she had done wrong, she had done Glinda wrong.

“Get away from me Witch”

Witch, how much she hated that title. Her gaze drifted to the one thing giving her this kind of power, the Grimmerie. She crossed the room with fast steps. She tore It open, desperately trying to rip out its pages. But the book resisted, of course, it was a spell book after all. Elphaba slammed it shut.

“The Wizard was right, you are Wicked”

Her breathing was raged. She had to destroy this dammed thing, without it, she would have never made it this far. Her fists uncurled, pointing her palms at the book. Setting things on fire, an easy spell, which she had learned pretty fast.

The flames shot out of her palms and engulfed the book in flames. It drained all of her energy. But as the fire seemed to burn her palms, she stopped. As the flames retreated, the book stayed untouched. Elphaba screamed out of rage. She grabbed the book and slammed it against a wall. Her gaze finally lingered over the chaos she left behind.

She collapsed against the wall, her knees giving in. Tears started to well up in her eyes. What had she done? She had lost Glinda, not the Wizard, but due to her own selfish, reckless nature. She began to sob, the sounds engulfing the silence around her. She had done this to Glinda.

Her hands moved to her face. She tried to calm herself, but the more she tried to control her breathing, the worse it got. Her sobs grew louder, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Her arms wrapped around herself, burying her face in her knees.

Even sitting up becomes too much after a while. Her body curled up on the floor, knees drawn to her chest as she cried. Her hands tangled up in her own hair. Her breathing still raged as she tried to flood her lungs with air. She was shaking violently before her body finally gave in to exhaustion.

 

 

“Elphie, check this out!” Galinda- Glinda called out from behind the couch Elphaba was seated. It had been mere minutes since the blonde girl had followed her onto the train. Elphaba could not possibly do this without her. Glinda had been such a force in her life ever since they became friends.

Elphaba turned around to look at her, to see Glinda sitting on the floor showing her the glasses and bottles she had found in the small shelf. She was smiling like a little kid as she showed Elphaba the pink liquid. Elphaba chuckled at the sweetness of her girl.

“My sweet, do you even know what that is?” she asked with an amused expression. Glinda looked cute when she was excited about something. She barely showed that genuine side of her, mostly when they were alone. So, whenever Elphaba got a glimpse of that version of Glinda, she wanted to freeze the moment and just appreciate it.

Glinda did not bother reading the label and poured a bit into the glasses. She proudly handed Elphaba a glass. Elphaba determined, shook her head, almost amused.

“I’m not drinking that”

“Oh, come on, Elphie, relax, you’re about to meet the Wizard of Oz, you need to calm down, I can see you freaking out”

Elphaba chuckled but did not take the glass and turned back around on the couch, pulling her knees up.

“I’m not freaking out-”

Glinda got up and walked towards the couch to sit down next to Elphaba, bringing their glasses along. Her eyes searched Elphaba’s as the green girl tried to hide her face. Elphaba knew Glinda could read her like a book. Glinda tilted her head and moved closer, so that their legs were touching.

“You are Elphie… you may hide this from anyone else, but not me”

Elphaba looked back up at her and smiled softly. Her gaze was vulnerable, something only Glinda got to see. Glinda could get lost in these beautiful green eyes easily, she loved looking into Elphaba’s eyes. Somehow, it made her feel like nothing else mattered, like the world around them did not exist. No expectations, no duties, just them.

To her surprise, Elphaba reached for the glass and handed Glinda hers as well. They clinked their glasses together and took a sip, looking each other in the eyes. Elphaba grimaced and almost spat the liquid back into the glass. Glinda giggled and reached out for her friend.

“You’re so cute”

She moved closer, moving her legs into Elphaba’s lap. Her eyes never left Elphaba’s face, even as the green girl tried to flee her gaze again, “I’m not”. Glinda let her fingers brush against Elphaba’s arm and took the glass from her hands, drowning the liquid in one go.

“Yes, you are, stupid”

Glinda chuckled, moving even closer. Her hand found Elphaba’s, and she squeezed it lightly. Their fingers were intertwined like it was the most natural thing in the world. Her eyes had this spark as she looked directly into the eyes of the girl she was heavily in love with.

“I’m so proud of you, Elphie, you know that?”

Elphaba smiled to herself. She could not remember the last time someone was actually proud of her. But, she believed Glinda, how could she not when the blonde girl was looking at her like that. Her fingers traced gentle patterns over the green skin. Elphaba blushed slightly, making Glinda smile even more at her.

Glinda’s hand reached out to caress her lover's smooth skin. Elphaba shivered, and her eyes never left the blonde. She wanted to know what was going on inside her head. Somehow, Elphaba still could not believe that Galinda Upland had actually fallen in love with her. That was what she said at least, to be honest with herself, Elphaba did not fully believe her, she was not the kind of person people fell in love with.

“I wanna kiss you”

Glinda whispered almost inaudibly, her eyes never leaving the girl in front of her as she carefully moved even closer. Her eyes were locked on her lips as her fingers continued with their soothing motion. Elphaba looked down. Suddenly, it all felt so real to her.

“Glinda, I don’t-”

“Don’t what?”

Elphaba shrugged, freeing herself from Glinda’s gentle but firm grip. She looked down, not wanting to face Glinda. She has never felt this way before, she has never felt this loved, this appreciated, this cared for. Which made her fear that it was all just one big joke on her. She had been hurt so many times, accepting that it might be different now was not something she imagined possible. Building walls around her had always been easier.

“I’m not…”

“Elphie, what do you mean?”

“I’m not the kind of person… for you, I mean, look at me”

“I’m looking at you...”

“No, Glinda-”

“You’re beautiful”

“Stop saying this… It’s not true”

“Elphie, would you please look at me”

Elphaba hid her face, knowing that looking at her would only make it worse. Her eyes already began to tear up. Glinda brought her hand back to Elphaba’s cheek, tilting her chin up. Elphaba looked vulnerable in a way Glinda had not seen her before, her gaze softened, and she quickly moved forward to wrap the girl up in her arms.

Despite being surprised by the sudden movement, Elphaba embraced the hug, melting into the soft touch of her best friend. Glinda cradled her head softly, leaning in. Her lips found the soft spot where her neck met her shoulder. Glinda placed a gentle, loving kiss on her skin right there.

“I love you”

She whispered almost inaudibly, breathing the words right into Elphaba’s hair. Elphaba shivered at the three words. Glinda had said them before, multiple times even, but this was different. Glinda kept pressing gentle kisses to the exposed skin of her neck. The air around them shifted.

“I want to show you… just how much I love you”

She leaned back to look her in the eyes, searching for consent. Elphaba knew what that meant, what Glinda was implying here. Fear still lingered, but there was something else, something more, something she felt whenever she saw Glinda with Fiyero, whenever he let his hands trail over her body, like it belonged to him.

But Elphaba knew now this was not true. Glinda wanted her, not Fiyero, she had proven that, and now she wanted to show Elphaba just what that meant. There was no hesitation when Elphaba finally leaned forward and connected their lips again. It was not their first kiss, not even their second, but it felt like something new.

“Show me”

 

 

Elphaba jolted awake, her eyes glassy. What kind of cruelty was her own mind inflicting on her, showing her those memories? If she only had known back then that these would mark their last few hours together, forever so it seemed now. She would never see her again. Glinda would not want to.

She clutched her chest in pain. All the things she had not allowed herself to feel were coming over her now. She did not know how to fix this. In trying to save her, she lost her, she has made everything worse. She felt pathetic.

As she shifted upward, her hands brushed against something folded and stiff beneath her. She blinked, frowning, as the paper slipped free. For a moment, she didn’t even remember what it was, then her breath caught. The letter. Glinda had written the letter after Elphaba’s breakdown. Glinda had asked her not to read it, and Elphaba kept that promise, until now.

But now, what was there to lose? Her hands were shaking as she picked up the piece of paper, her last piece of Glinda. Gently, she unfolded the paper. Afraid to violate the last pieces left of her friend. Her hands were shaking as she read the first words. Her heart ached. What had she done-

 

Dear Elphaba,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need to feel like someone is listening, even if you never read it. Even if you’re never coming back.

It’s been a few days now. I thought maybe you’d visit again. I keep thinking I’ll wake up and see you on my balcony, quiet like you always were, just watching. But it’s still empty. And I don’t know if you’ll ever come back.

I don’t blame you. I told you I wasn’t coming with you. I was scared. Not of you, of myself, maybe. Of the things I don’t understand. Of what it would really mean to leave.

They still treat me like I’m something fragile. Like I’m theirs. But you never did. You just looked at me. Really saw me.

When I’m with you, the world makes sense. Like, I don’t have to keep pretending. Everything feels quieter. Not less broken, but like it might be bearable.

I didn’t believe you. Not fully. But lately I keep thinking, I got the sense you loved her. The girl you lost. And maybe someday, maybe you could love me, too.

I’m not writing this to ask you to come back. I don’t even know if you should. It might be safer if you don’t. But I wanted to thank you. You made me feel like a person. I can’t remember the last time I felt like that.

I don’t know who I was. But I know how I feel when you’re near. And I think that has to mean something. I miss you.

I don’t know if you’ll read this. I don’t know if you’re out there. But if you are, I hope you’re safe.

- Glinda

 

Elphaba could not hold back any longer. Tears were making their way down her cheeks. Sobs cut through the silence. Her body curled inwards again. The letter clutched tightly against her chest, as if she could hold the memory of Glinda close to her that way, like nothing ever happened. This was her fault, and she knew it.

“Oh, Glinda…”

She whispered. The sole thought that Glinda believed her love to be conditional broke her. Of course, she loved her, she always did, she always would. No memory loss could ever change that. How badly she wanted her to know. Had she really made Glinda believe that she was only worthy of her protection if she remembered?

If only she had known how she felt earlier, it would have changed everything. She would have never attempted the spell- it hurt, knowing that there was a chance. The letter was pressed to her chest in agony. Everything hurt and ached, as if she would never live without this pain again. Elphaba had heard of people dying of a broken heart, would the same happen to her?

“Elphaba, you cannot save her like this”

Ivix. It had been a while since Elphaba had heard his voice. She remembered how enraged she was when she asked him for guidance. And now he found her curled up on the floor, sobbing and crying for a love long forgotten.

“I just- I wanted to save her”

She spoke, her voice breaking. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, she knew how pathetic she must look. But Ivix’s voice was not condescending, rather understanding and empathetic. He had warned her, but still he did not scold her for her foolishness.

“I just wanted my girl back… I wanted Glinda back”

“And now you have given up?”

Elphaba moved from her position to look at him with her tearstained eyes. Her gaze was a mix of confusion and sorrow. What was he implying?

“No, but she- I messed up… I messed up so bad and now she never wants to see me again-”

“You really think that?”

“Yes, she told me so!”

“Elphaba, you have done something that has broken her trust, of course, she is hurt. But remember what I told you about love, about the soul. Not everything can be fixed with magic, same as not everything can be destroyed with such. You have a bond much stronger than any spell could ever break. You just have to trust her, the same way she has decided to trust you.”

Elphaba listened to his words carefully. He was right, she should have listened to him earlier, not let her rage get in the way. Her love for Glinda was stronger than anything else she felt. And she had seen Glinda’s love too, in the tulip field, in her eyes when she confessed her love, on the train to the Emerald City, and she had seen it in her eyes when she showed her the night sky on her broom.

The Wizard could not take that from them, never.

Notes:

So, I know this chapter was a bit different than usual. I originally wanted to split it into two, to have the flashback as a separate chapter like I did with the ones before, but I didn’t think it fit very well this time. I didn’t want to go into a graphic style, but rather focus on the emotions. I hope it’s not too chaotic and that you guys see my vision here.

Also, I wanted to apologize for the fewer updates I’ve been giving you lately. I’m very excited about the next couple of chapters since the stakes are tightening and well there’s a lot happening. These are the chapters I’ve been building up to this whole time (don’t worry, we’re nowhere near the end of this story!). Because they’re so important, I’m actually very excited about writing them. That said, I feel like my writing has been getting worse lately, which is a bit discouraging for me. I’m not as much in the flow as I was when I started, so updates might take a little longer. I still want to write well, even if this is “just” a fanfiction and basically a first draft, I want to deliver something I’m satisfied with.

And as always, thank you so much for the lovely comments, they mean a lot to me. I also thought I’d link my Tumblr, it’s a bit chaotic over there, but I think it could be a good way to interact and honestly the only platform I feel comfortable sharing on here cause I'm still a bit scared people i know irl will find out about this https://www.tumblr.com/dream037?source=share