When I was Younger

by SketchieFoxie, TheInkypawprint

Summary:

It's a month after the invasion and the Hamato's believe they've left the worst behind themselves.
When suddenly, their whole world is shaken after the timeline they've been living in gets a little switched up. These aren't the turtles from Casey's timeline, as they claim to be from a different future, bringing news of a new threat.
Something big, something involving the Krang and the Foot clan previously thought to be gone.

And whatever it is, isn't good. Not good at all.

Or: The Hamato's future selves from what they thought was a fixed timeline, portal back into the past unexpectedly, with bad news. News involving the Sister Krang, and a second apocalypse.

Chapter 1: The Road to Recovery: Pt 1

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo, April, Casey Jr
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie, Mikey, Draxum

“Week 1”

~Casey~

Casey stumbled slightly upon the rubble, ankle rolling on a stray piece of broken tunnel, body shifting to right the load he carried, a box full of other small boxes, each full of invaluable supplies, tipped to the side. He made a small sound, and quickly righted himself, not wanting anything to tip over and fall.

“Careful,” April called over her shoulder from where she walked up ahead. “Don’t wanna drop anything. ‘Specially cause the surface don’t have much.” She rattled her own box lightly, as if to make a point.

Casey nodded quickly, his messy ponytail coming undone by the action, flyaway strands sticking to his face. “Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.” He called out quickly, wanting her to know that he understood her.

It was true indeed that the surface didn’t have a lot to spare as it had only been a week’s time since the invasion, and folks all across New York were struggling. It had even been a hassle to get these supplies, and they nearly had to fight someone for a pack of band-aids. Brutal stuff. Casey wasn’t unfamiliar with people acting a bit rabid over supplies, but even this felt particularly intense.

As such, April and Casey had been staying in the lair with the boys, for several reasons. One; April’s mom had been locked out of New York, away on a business trip. Two; because the boys were all in desperate need of help, and lastly, three; Casey didn’t have a home, and the surface was a wild mess. All very valid reasons.

All of the Hamato’s had been hurt during the invasion, which was another reason for April and Casey to stick around. April and Casey’s injuries were only minor, making it easier for them to head up to the surface to collect supplies.

Casey remembered about a day after the invasion, The Baron Draxum, a person he hadn’t seen since his childhood, had swept into the subway lair, vowing ever so dramatically to help, gushing loudly about how his ingenious designs for genetic buildup would ensure a swift and efficient recovery for the boys. Casey didn’t doubt it.

Back in his day, or perhaps was it forwards in his day? Either way, the Draxum of his future, was a complete whizz when it came to bodies, and genetic makeup. The yokai had single-handedly healed a huge portion of the troops before he was lost to them. Truly amazing. It was… strange seeing him again. Everything was strange.

Casey hadn’t been very old when they had lost Draxum, meaning, he didn’t know much about him besides the fact that he was a gifted alchemist, and had supposedly tossed Master Leonardo off a roof. This knowledge only made it more confusing to him when he saw Mikey run up, and hug Draxum tightly, as if greeting a long-lost friend. Hadn’t the Hamato’s disliked Draxum? Apparently not… Either way, it had caught him off guard and kept catching him off guard each time he saw it.

Like right now.

April led Casey through the remaining stretch of the subway tunnels, leading him into the lair where Draxum was walking about in the garage, pen and papers in hand, reading glasses resting on the tip of his animalistic nose. April walked right in, not the least bit nervous as she greeted him. “Sup Drax. How’s it goin’ Mikey?”

Draxum simply made a small, annoyed sound, glaring down at his pages, tapping his pen frustratedly against the log of all their supplies. Though it was no surprise as to why he was so aggravated, since Mikey was following him around, walking directly behind his ‘Dad’ like a lost puppy. He had his arms gingerly folded against his plastron, bandages circling all the way up to his biceps.

Casey entered the garage, hefting up his box full of boxed supplies, listening as Mikey voiced his complaints in a very whiny tone. “Barry! Barry, should my arms be itchy? It's weird and I don't like it!” He complained in a slightly raised no-nonsense voice, moving his head to accentuate the words, clearly having a ‘Mikey pity party’.

Casey had seen him do this enough times to know he was probably more upset than he was letting on, expressing tears through a simple whiny tone. Draxum barely paid him any mind, replying almost nonchalantly. “Itching means healing, so shush small warrior child.”

April snickered upon seeing the interaction, and the following reaction, setting her box down near one of the tall pillars holding the lair up. “Aw, is Mikey itchy? Itchy baby?” She teased, swooping forwards to scoop him up into a hug, pulling him away from Draxum, and Casey quite literally saw Draxum’s shoulders drop in relief.

Casey made his way further into the garage, unsure as to where to set the supplies he gathered. Next to April’s? But she had set them wherever. Maybe with the other boxes? But his box was unsorted. He stood uselessly in the center, frozen over where to put the box. Draxum paused what he was doing to stop and stare at Casey, making him feel like he was in the spotlight. Cautiously, Casey offered him a little wave, nearly losing his grip on the box. His cheeks flushed, and he wished he could just evaporate away. Luckily, Draxum didn’t seem to care, and casually pointed a finger to a location with other half sorted boxes.

As Casey made his way over to the pile, grateful to the chance to turn away and let the red fade from his face, he heard Draxum address April. “Watch his arms O’ Neil.” He said in a surprisingly caring voice. Casey glanced over his shoulder to see Draxum watch April and Mikey fondly, then felt a jolt of nervous panic as Draxum glanced back in his direction. “It seems I have more to inventory.” Casey then scuttled away from the boxes, unsure of what else to do, backing away to instead watch April and Mikey.

April was holding Mikey in a comforting hug, and replied. “Don’t worry Barry, I got it!” She pulled Mikey just a hint closer, continuing. “He just needs some hugs to distract him, yeah?” April squeezed Mikey a little tighter, as if to squeeze the sadness out of him. Mikey chuckled sadly, gently wrapping his arms around April and smushing his cheek against her shoulder. Mikey hummed. “Thanks April…” Closing his eyes and leaning against her.

Casey watched them carefully, eyes distractedly trained on the stumps of Mikey’s wrists where hands used to be.

When Leo had disappeared through the portal, and into the prison dimension, Casey had been told that Mikey had torn apart reality with his bare hands to pull him back. Though Casey hadn’t seen the act itself, he had certainly seen the aftermath. And it had been brutal.

Parts of Mikey’s hands, like a portion of one thumb, a finger here or there, and chunks of his palm had been absolutely burnt away, leaving most of his hands dead tissue. It had not been pretty, and that was coming from the guy who had lived through the apocalypse.

They had needed to amputate, much to Mikey’s dismay, as the dead tissue would have harmed his body. The black flesh was practically peeling off the bones anyhow. An amputation was the kindest, and the most logical option.

Honestly, looking at Mikey now, probably the only reason he wasn’t off crying (either for his hands, or for his brothers) was because Draxum had him doped up on pain meds. Which was a good thing, as Casey knew how badly an amputation could hurt. Though, now that he thought about it, that would explain the sleepy puppy behavior that Mikey was displaying.

Casey startled when Draxum addressed him with a firm tone, scribbling something down on his clipboard. “If you are willing,” He raised his eyebrows in high arches now that he had Casey’s full attention, looking down at him, in what Casey hoped to be a non-judgmental way. “Now, Future boy, if you happen to be free from your current job, it would be beneficial for you to check on the Red-eared slider. If you will.” He tapped his pen against his clipboard, as if to illustrate his point.

It took Casey a second to process what had been asked of him, but when it clicked that he was being asked to check on Leo, he nodded vigorously, hair becoming even messier. “Yeah, I can do that.” He replied, resisting the urge to stand at the ready while speaking, hoping his tone was far more relaxed than he felt.

Draxum nodded, raised brows lowering. “Well, carry on then.” He hummed, almost distracted. “I will have the rest of the boxes taken care of.” He pushed his glasses down, looking at Casey over the rims. “And I have to go back to work as soon as the schools open up, so it really is imperative that we finish as much as we can.”

Casey nodded quickly, clenching the sides of his borrowed hoodie, exclaiming “Y-yes sir!!”

Draxum’s gaze was intense, and was making Casey feel as if there was more to do than a simple checkup. He wasn’t used to people looking so wildly serious when it wasn’t an emergency. Usually, hard stares were reserved for highly important missions. Though, Casey supposed that checking up on Leo did count as an important mission of sorts.

Casey stepped back, cutting himself out of the conversation now that he had a mission, staggering backwards. Leo was still on bed rest, meaning he wasn’t allowed to get up for anything. Meaning, Casey wasn’t necessarily checking to see if he was alright but checking to see if the younger version of his Sensei was actually still in bed.

As he left, Casey heard the fading remnants of a conversation. April lightly teased. “Barry don’t freak him out, we’re good, yeah?” while the Barron simply made a scoffing sound. There was more chatter after that, but Casey was too far off by then to hear it properly.

The trek through the lair was interesting. It was full of tidied up wreckage, as parts of it had been destroyed by the Krang, and the Foot. The lair was a complete mess, but luckily, not unfixable. Casey himself had seen far worse situations and had been told of far worse situations. As far as this mess went, it wasn’t bad at all!

Upon making it to Leo’s designated subway car, he halted, not knowing exactly what to do. Had it been his Sensei, he’d peek through the windows or listen in on him to determine whether or not to spy, or just barge in loudly. But this Leo was different. Casey had no idea how to interact with him. It was really weird being an adult, while this version of his Sensei was still just a kid. A mere seventeen-year-old. Casey had a good three years of age on him now. Eventually, after a few moments of awkward stalling, Casey bucked up the courage to get his attention. “Hello?…” Casey called out tentatively, knocking on the metallic door frame of Leo’s room, waiting patiently in front of the curtains. “You awake?”

There were a few seconds of silence, that Casey recognized as Leo trying to disguise that he was still awake, and not resting, before he called out. “S’that you Case?” voice raspy from everything but still containing a lively tone.

Casey carefully pushed aside the curtains covering Leo’s door, waving awkwardly upon seeing the younger version of his Sensei. Leo waved, but only slightly, as he was healing from bruising. “Sup. You come in here to relieve me of my boredom?” He grinned cheekily, face stretching slightly, like it hurt. Casey felt sympathetic for him, resisting the urge to frown. He was clearly just putting on a brave face, because he was idolizing Casey much like Casey found himself idolizing Leo. Luckily, Leo was still in his bed, like he was supposed to be, with an IV hooked up to his arm, and a mini heart monitor attached to him. The heart monitor was one of Donnie’s portable ones, the ones that hooked up to his tech 24/7, which in Casey’s opinion, having known a Leo for most his life, was a good decision on Donnie’s part.

Ah, he was thinking too much again. Not being present in the moment. Casey laughed, albeit a little awkwardly, as that just seemed to be the way he functioned and shrugged. “Ah, no. The Baron sent me to make sure you’re doing alright.”

Immediately, Leo’s mood shifted, and he offered only a playful yet annoyed scoff, undoubtedly thinking he was slick, but Casey knew his tricks. “Ugh. Barry… feels weird to have the guy who chucked me off a roof, actually care if I’m healing, y’know? Prolly, he’s just worried about whether or not his lil’ super soldier project isn’t wrecked or whatnot. Anyways, whatever, doesn’t matter—“ Leo waved a hand, dismissing everything he had said, not even allowing Casey a chance to cut in. “What’s going on out and about? Any news on April’s mom? How’s the fam and whatnot? Please, man I need entertainment!!” Leo ended with a pleading tone, clearly milking this moment for all it was worth, clasping his hands together while grinning lightly.

Casey couldn’t help but let a little chuckle slip, wanting nothing more than to just roll his eyes. He had seen this all before. Oh well, at least Leo didn’t seem to be in an overly moody mood. He could supply him with a little bit of news that wouldn’t do any harm. “Everything is going well. Cleanups have started above ground,” Casey began, purposefully skipping over the part where the cleanups involved body disposal. Leo didn’t need that on his shoulders. “April and I just got back from a supply run. As far as we know, Ms. O’Neil is still out of state, and as far as it goes, New York is still on lockdown. Haven’t really checked the rest of the family yet, sorry. Mikey’s doing alright, he’s managing. A little out of it, as he’s still all doped up on pain meds, but doing good.”

Leo’s attentive expression briefly flickered, and Casey saw a flash of deep-seated guilt and grief before it was covered back up with a fake smile. “Aw, if Mikes having a hard time, he should come bug me!!” He exclaimed. “I’m not supposed to be up and about, so I’d welcome the company.” Leo chattered; an ever-present laugh stuck in his tone.

Casey found himself frowning at that. “Leo,” he began, “you don’t need to make yourself cheerful for us, ok?” It bothered him to see Leo acting so fake. Maybe it fooled his family (doubtfully) but it certainly didn’t fool Casey.

“Ahaha!!! Would you look at the time?!” Leo laughed loudly, looking at his pointedly bare wrist. “When was the last time anyone checked on Raph? Or Donnie? Or heck, even dad, amiright? Maybe they need company too? Or, ooh, ooh, if you can, could you convince Donnie to leave his lab? Come watch something with me? Yeah? I promise we won’t watch anything stressful, just, like, Bluey or whatever yeah?”

Casey hesitated, glancing off to the side, uncomfortable with the way Leo was clearly rambling. Part of him wanted to keep calling out Leo’s behaviors. It had been a thing he and his Sensei would do. If either of them got stuck in a certain mindset, they’d call each other out. Casey didn’t know what to do for this Leo. He didn’t know how to talk to him. He didn’t know what to do. “Um…” He hesitated, unsure of what to say. “I don’t…. Yeah, I could go fetch Donnie for you, yeah…” At least, finding Donnie seemed like a good idea. Leo hadn’t communicated his emotions, but he had communicated a solution, so Casey would take that.

Leo gave him a huge thumbs up, grinning wildly and nodding. “Sweet, cool cool cool. Alright, I’ll expect you back soon with my twin in tow, yeah? Vaminos!!” He waved at him, a mix between a regular wave, and a shooing motion. It hurt, just a little bit.

Casey nodded, uncomfortable with the entire situation, feeling more and more like a round peg in a square hole. Wrong wrong wrong. He quickly backed up, making as if to slip through the curtain on the door, and Leo joked. “Dude. There’s a literal hole in my wall, covered by only a blanket. You could go through that, easily!”

Casey replied in a voice that was much too high and very forced. “Whoops! Guess I’m already going through the door!” In a poorly disguised tone of sarcasm, and stress, Casey departed, giving Leo a singular two fingered salute, slipping out quickly.

Casey moved quickly, shuffling away from the subway car to give himself room to breathe. Eugh… that really didn’t go how he wanted… Oh well, at least Leo wasn’t isolating himself. Casey would go get Donnie, and also probably get a blanket or two, since the Red-eared slider happened to always be cold. That’d be the right action for this situation. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully…

Donnie would be in his lab, right? Casey assumed so, and as such, began making his way over there, walking up the stairs leading to the lab. The first thing he noticed was the bright lights, and the pattering of footsteps. Quick, and shuffly footsteps, the kind used when rushing from desk to desk. He leaned over, gripping the doorframe, and peered into the lab. Yup, it was as he suspected.

The lab was just as messy as he had last seen it, with broken tech littering the ground, and random bits and bobs scattered every which way and that. All because the Sister Krang had crashed through the lab, no regard for the precious things she crushed. Just as Casey had suspected, Donnie was running about inside, muttering to himself, one of Raph’s giant hoodies hanging down to his knees, whipping around as he moved faster than he was medically permitted.

Once again, Casey did what felt like the same old song and dance, knocking on the lab entrance, hoping to get his attention. “Donatello?” He questioned, hoping to gain his attention. There was a chance that Donnie was in the zone and wouldn’t hear him.

Donnie looked to the side, making eye contact with Casey, indicating that he had indeed heard him. “Casey.” He acknowledged. Casey couldn’t help but let a little smile show at the sight of him wearing a hoodie. It felt special. Casey remembered his Donnie, always covered in grease, and clad in thick overalls, speaking fondly of warm thick hoodies. Casey even remembered having a conversation with him, in the dead of the night, where he described in lengthy details, his favorite purple silken jacket he had possessed in his entire lifetime. It felt like a reward to see a Donnie wearing a hoodie.

He was holding a camera with its lens broken and the base hanging off by copper wires. He looked like he had been bringing it across the lab, to the pile of the many many other things that needed fixing around the lair.

Casey stayed outside the lab, respectfully, not wanting to intrude. He didn’t fully know the social rules pertaining to this Donnie, so it was better to just play it safe. “I was checking on mas— Leo, and he said he’d appreciate your company.” Casey told him, his voice slightly robotic as he recited what he had been repeating in his head. He had almost gotten it wrong, nearly calling Leo after his Sensei. It was a small mistake, but it was still impactful, and he had to stop making it.

Donnie closed his eyes, tossing his head to the side. “Oh, haha, naturally he feels the need to bother me in the midst of my work.” Donnie sighed, walking over to a desk covered in electronics, setting the camera down. “And naturally, I feel inclined to say yes.” He hummed, as if musing to himself, almost amused in a way.

Casey found the corners of his mouth turning upwards at the simple way Donnie spoke. It was familiar. Out of all the Hamato’s Donnie had been the one whose vocal inflection had changed the least. He quickly steeled his expression when Donnie turned to face Casey again, walking to the entrance of his lab. “It is quite tempting to clone myself and give the clone to Leonardo.” Donnie’s words sounded somewhat exasperated and angry, though his tone and body language were purely sarcastic, if not tired.

Casey relaxed a little, since this was a language he could understand. “That’s just how Leo is, isn’t it?” He chuckled lightly, shifting to move out of the way of the door. “What you working on?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side as Donnie made his way out. “Security?” He was genuinely curious as to what was keeping Donnie so wildly busy these past few days, as Donnie had pretty much been living in his lab.

Donnie stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket, moving past Casey easily, making his way out and down the hall. “Security is my main objective. Structural integrity is high on my list as well, though Draxum has been helping with that.”

Casey nodded in reply, walking alongside him. “Very good.” He paused for a few seconds, psyching himself up for what he was about to say. “Y’know, if you ever wanted help, my Don—“ Casey was never able to finish his sentence, as Donnie’s wrist cuff went off, pinging him with its little emergency tone. The one used for Leo’s heart monitor.

Donnie spared Casey a split-second glance before running towards Leo’s train car, his feet tapping down the stairs with practiced precision.

Casey’s brain short circuited, looping through a mantra of confusion before it clicked what was happening, and he tore off after him, leaping over anything in his path, quickly catching up with Donnie. Within seconds they made it to Leo’s train car. Casey tore the curtain to the side, eyes wide. “Leo??” He called out, making a sound as Donnie shoved past him, accidentally slamming him against the wall. He didn’t blame him one bit.

Leo’s heart monitor was beeping wildly, and he was laying upon the bed, stiff and twitching. His eyes were unfocused and somewhat rolled back, as he shuddered, jerking and spasming. It looked as if he were being electrocuted. This looked like a seizure.

“Leo?” Donnie exclaimed frantically, grabbing his shoulder and rolling him onto his side. “Leo, I’m here!” Donnie let out a nervous chuckle, tears brimming his eyes in the sudden panic. “Where’s Barry?” Casey saw in that split second, that Donnie didn’t know what to do.

Casey’s eyes darted around taking in the scene before him. “I-I-I—“ he stammered, then let himself shift into soldier mode. No time for hesitations. “I’ll go get him. Keep him on his side!!” He instructed, quickly turning, and racing out of the room.

Notes:

TW: Aftermath of the invasion, seizure, mention and talk of limb loss/aftermath of limb loss

TheInkypawprint~ Man am I excited to get this story started! We have a lot of plot twists and a lot of angst/comfort. Just as a reminder, there is major character death throughout the story, but there is a happy ending be the end of arch five.

SketchieFoxie~ If you're here because you read the pilot fic, we're so happy to see you here!! If you've stumbled upon this fic by yourself, hi!! We're so happy to see you!! A few things meant mentioning are, Inky and I are sisters!! Along with that, we'd like to update this fic at the end of each month, however, we're both in college at the moment, so we'll do our very best!! Hope you stick around!! <3

Edit 8/18/2025: So we changed the chapter formatting to have each POV get its own chapter, rather than the behemoths we'd originally posting lol. Now the chapters will be shorter, and more frequent ^^

Chapter 2: The Road to Recovery: Pt 2

Summary:

Draxum brought a hand up to his face, running it over his eyes, trying to decide how he was going to fix the new complication presented. This was not what ‘he’ a great scientist was destined to do, and yet he was sure he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at such a dire time.

None of his creations were ready to handle the delicacy that medical care required.
They should be grateful that he was there to care for them in their time of need. He did not spend years of his life researching to stand back while his family struggled.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Casey Jr, Leo, April, Splinter
TheInkypawPrint: Draxum, Mikey, Donnie

~Draxum~

Draxum sighed inwardly. This was not what ‘he’ a great scientist was destined to do, and yet he was sure he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at such a dire time.
He blinked harshly, a futile attempt to refocus his tired vision. He had been staring at the papers all day, counting, logging, and sorting all of their new supplies.

Michael bothered O’Neil behind him as Draxum opened the boxes the young soldier had recently brought in.
He lacked the time to feel dismayed at both the new supplies to inventory, and the minimal amount of medical supplies they had been able to find when thundering footsteps echoed through the lair.
Draxum stood upright, responding to the sound before O’Neill or Michelangelo did, curtesy of his animalistic ears. “DRAXUM!!!” Future Boy’s voice exploded from the direction of the train cars, the soldier bursting into the room seconds after.

Draxum attempted to appear calm, pretending that he was still taking inventory. It only took basic knowledge to know that the boy had extreme PTSD, and it would be unwise to react with panic until Draxum could confirm that something worth panicking about had actually happened. He looked up at Casey, squinting through his thin glasses. “You sound frantic.” He stated.

“Leo’s having a seizure.” Casey relayed, his body language rushed and tense.

The red-eared slider was having a seizure, after an entire week of progressive healing with no negative brain patterns or symptoms, and he was having a seizure now!
Draxum blinked harshly once more, surprise hitting him full force. “What!!” He roared, contemplating his course of action. His few courses of action.

He had sent Future Boy to check on Leonardo and less than ten minutes later he came back crying wolf. Stupid boy. Draxum could only hope that someone else was with Leonardo and that Casey hadn’t left him alone.

Draxum was already running down the hall when he heard Michael exclaim.
“Wait, what?” his footsteps picking up behind him almost immediately after.

Draxum realized that he was still holding his pen and clipboard when he burst into Leonardo’s room, ducking under the slightly bent door frame.
With a wave of relief and exasperation he saw Donatello kneeling by Leonardo’s bedside, tears of stress brimming his eyes. He was talking to his brother, his voice sounding flustered. “I'm not going anywhere. I, ha, I should have looked into this. Of course seizures are a possibility.” He ranted.

“Donatello!” Draxum got his attention, walking briskly up to the bed. He understood that the young scientist had recently been through a lot. However! They couldn’t afford to spare precious time with his childish panic. “How long has he been like this?”

Draxum restrained from shaking his head in disappointment when Donnie glanced away from him. “I, uh, don't know. Potentially three minutes?” He mumbled, his shoulders tight.

The future boy ran into the room behind him, holding out his arms to block the others. “Give him room!” He demanded as O’Neil and Michelangelo rushed into the room.

Leonardo had begun foaming at the mouth, body still jittering.

Draxum scowled. He was already having a seizure and Donatello had already rolled him on his side so Draxum was less worried about him choking. “We need benzodiazepines.” He reached down and pulled the blankets away from Leo, the idea of him entangling himself was an unneeded stress factor. “If this happens more than once, it will stop his muscle spasms.”

It would be unrealistic to try to stop the seizure now. Heaven knew if that was even possible.

Leonardo continued to seize, eyes rolling back into his head, the boy making small involuntary sounds. The future boy began to push O’Neil and Michael out of the room, shooing them away. “Go on, out, out.” He encouraged, clearly looking at the situation how a young child would.
Draxum assumed that he was only treating them how he used to be treated back in the apocalypse.

Sad really, that the future boy never had the chance to experience a real adulthood with the ones who raised him.

Draxum watched as Leonardo’s seizure subsided a bit, estimating the time it had lasted.
It would only be logical for him to diagnose the type of seizure Leonardo was experiencing before he attempted to figure out the cause.

“Wait wait,” O’Neil called out. “No look, he’s stopping!!”
Of course, girl! However, that did not create cause for celebration.

Draxum chose to stand in front of Leonardo, blocking his view of the rest of the room. Despite the fact that he would be conscious during a seizure, he did not need the extra stimulation from needy, uneducated family members!

Leonardo began to gasp, his posture becoming tense as his twitching stopped. Draxum listened intently as the red-eared slider made sounds that could be roughly explained as choking. He needed to ensure that the teenager was still breathing, trying to identify whether or not air was still making its way into his lungs.

Donatello’s expression was that of a stunned toddler, his eyes flitting back and forth as he glanced around the room.
Ah, exactly as he thought. None of his creations were ready to handle the delicacy that medical care required.
They should be grateful that he was there to care for them in their time of need. He did not spend years of his life researching to stand back while his family struggled.

Everyone held their breath as Leo made small sounds, shifting slightly. His eyes roved back and forth, though it was unclear whether he was actually seeing anything. Eventually, his eyes slid shut, and he relaxed, looking somewhat serene.

The future boy exhaled, his arms visibly relaxing, no longer holding O’Neil and Michelangelo back.

Draxum shook his head, glancing at the portable heart monitor. “Heart rate should start slowing down in the next few minutes. Respiratory rate is normal for a seizure, but still higher than I’m comfortable with.” He leaned over Leonardo, using his fingers to open Leo’s eyes. “Dilated pupils, also potential symptoms.”

Leo had very little reaction to Draxum, laying still and quiet. It was as expected.

Draxum grabbed a tissue out from his robes, wiping the foam from Leo’s mouth.

O’Neil asked in a hushed tone. “Is he… unconscious? Or something?” He was beginning to understand human ages a little better. Despite her social status as adult, she was certainly not as smart as someone he considered to be an adult.
He wondered what else she thought was wrong with Leonardo if he were anything other than unconscious.

Draxum nodded, choosing to hold his tongue. “It is also normal for a person to fall into a state of unconsciousness for a few minutes after a seizure.” He grabbed the blanket, pulling it back over the red eared slider. “I will need to investigate the cause of this as soon as possible.”

Draxum also chose to ignore Donatello and Michelangelo as Michael walked over to Donatello, sitting down next to him.
The young soft shell was staring into space, glancing at Michael briefly when the box turtle leaned against his brother.
It was a small acknowledgment, yet Michael didn’t seem to care.

The human girl began to back up, saying. “I’m gonna go wake Splints and Raphie.” Before slipping out of the room.
And it was a relief. One less random human in the way.

Casey moved closer, asking Draxum “Could it be related to his injuries? Or just brain trauma?” And that was the question.
He had multiple theories already, but he knew all too well that he would have to work to rule them all out before he could officially confirm one.

Draxum adjusted his glasses. “Seizures can be caused by high amounts of stress. Which is what I am hoping for. It seems to me though, that Leonardo is probably suffering from a brain injury that I somehow overlooked.” He folded his arms, ruffling his turquoise and white robes. “He has intensely fast healing, due to my own work, and it is possible that whatever it was healed before I had a chance to look at it.”
If that were the case, it would complicate things immensely. It would be far more challenging for him to find the cause if Leo was already experiencing sequela from an injury.

The future boy nodded, frowning slightly at the information. Yes, future boy, the potential was worrisome, it did not change reality however.
Casey glanced over at Donatello and Michael before letting his gaze dart back to Leonardo.

Leonardo had shifted slightly, making a small sound in the bank of his throat. It was a sound of discomfort and confusion. At least the boy was beginning to wake up.
Draxum let out a long breath, his folded arms tight against his chest as he started to mentally plan the testing session he would perform on Leonardo as soon as the young warrior would permit him.

“Oh! Leo!” Michael nuzzled the side of Donatello’s face with his snout before moving closer to Leonardo. The flamboyant turtle was unable to comfort both of his brothers at the same time.
Donatello barely responded, biting his lip and watching Leo intently.

Michael leaned against Leo’s bed, chirping at him.

Leonardo made a low moaning sound, hardly moving. He cracked open his eyes, his pupils barely visible, before he shut them again, inhaling then exhaling deeply.

“I trust you to tell me if you are feeling any pain.” Draxum addressed him. “You have had a seizure, though you seem to be recovering quite well from it.” He decided to give him some encouragement, assuming that Leonardo would be self-destructing mentally over his health for a while.

Mikey laid his head on the bed next to Leonardo. “Hey Leo.”

There was a noisy crash from outside the red eared sliders room, followed by O’Neil yelping. Noisy and clumsy as always. “Ah!!! Careful!!”

The turtles attention snapped towards the door when they heard the noise, but the great Baron had no time for that, stepping around Michelangelo and promptly placing a hand over Leonardo’s forehead, checking his temperature.

Hardly seconds later, Lou Jitsu scurried into the room, on his speedy little rat feet, holding his side since he wasn’t fully recovered yet. “My son!!” He shouted, causing most everyone to flinch.
Draxum could only take credit for Lou Jitsu’s animalistic qualities. His speed, his agility, and in no way could Draxum ever be accused of making his loud annoying voice.

Draxum rolled his eyes. “Our son will benefit from less noise.” He informed him, hoping he would quiet down,

“My son.” The rat snipped back, turning up his nose at the Baron.

Ah, so that was how it was going to be.

Draxum shook his head but dropped the argument. He, as a man, had no time for such petty little things.

Lou Jitsu reached out, and patted Leonardo on the arm. “My son,” he started, quieter. “Are you alright? What happened?”

Leonardo cracked one eye open and mumbled. “Eh… I’m good… 0 out of 10 would not recommend though…”

“Dad!” Michael threw himself at Lou Jitsu. “Leo had a seizure.” He informed him, stating an obvious fact that neither the great Lou Jitsu nor Leonardo could piece together.

The rat man nodded, taking Michael and practically ramming into him in stride. “Yes, I heard. April told me.” He informed their son.

Donald stood up randomly. “I shall find Leo a glass of water.” He walked out of the room in a hurry, clearly trying not to spiral into a meltdown.

“N-noooo I don’t want water…” The immature one complained, and his voice pitched into the whiny telltale that spoke of holding back tears.

“Shh-shh there, there Blue, Purple will be right back, yes?” Lou Jitsu soothed him, reaching up to stroke his head.

“What are you talking about?” Michael asked extravagantly. “Donnie is getting you water to help, not because you have to drink it.”

The amount of emotions these young adults and teens had were embarrassing to say the least. There was nothing he could do about it however.

A few moments later, Donatello came walking back into the room with a glass of water. He brought it over to Leonardo, raising an eyebrow in question. He appeared to be in a much calmer state.

The boy in question held out his arm, whining. “D-Donnieeeee…”

The soft-shell glanced behind him. “Oh, is uh, he’s talking to me, yeah.” He said coolly, his expression flat. “Leon?”

Leonardo made a face at him, as if annoyed and let his arm drop.

“I brought you water.” Donatello responded, inching up to the side of the bed. “For your comfort.” He mumbled quietly.
It was a bad habit; he needed to fix his vocal insecurities.

Leonardo nodded, smushing his face into the pillow. “Uh huh… yeah, thanks man.” He mumbled through the pillow.

O’Neil cleared her throat. “You need a little space there Leo?” She asked kindly, hinting.

Michael stood up. “We can go, c’mon Dee.” He tipped his head towards the door, looking at Donatello.

Draxum unfolded his arms. “I will stay behind to ensure that none of your stitches have torn.” Because he could guarantee Leonardo was going to need some maintenance after his seizure, and it would be a far more attainable task after the rest of everyone cleared the area.

“No!!” Leonardo gasped, and quickly reached for Donald, snatching his wrist tightly, making a sound of pain as he nearly threw himself out of bed.

Draxum twitched, less than a second away from catching and scolding Leonardo.

Donatello halted, turning around abruptly to stop Leonardo from falling off the bed. “Sweet pickled cucumbers, Leo!” He turned his hand, wrapping his fingers around the red eared sliders wrist. “I can stay.”

The boys maintained eye contact for a moment, before Leonardo looked off to the side. “I-I thought I-I was gonna die.” He whispered, and his eyes filled with tears. “I-I—“ he cut himself off

“What, no!” Donatello crouched down by the bed, getting down to eye level with Leo. He squeezed his wrist.

It was awkwardly touching, and it was far more important for him to check Leonardo’s injuries than it was for him to have mushy interactions with his brother.

Draxum sighed. “Teenagers….” He ran a hand down his face. “I understand that the seizure was scary, if not painful. Though I can assure you that it wasn't serious enough to kill you, absolutely not.”

Future boy piped in, apparently still here. “He’s right. I’ve seen seizures before. This one didn’t seem to be that bad. You’ll most likely feel better in a few hours.”

Lou Jitsu nodded, and continued “Draxum, and future boy are correct. You will be fine my precious Blue.”

Leonardo made a simple hurt sound and turned his face away, stubbornly hiding his expression into his pillow.

Draxum wondered how he would fare if he no longer had a pillow to hide in.

“Now.” Draxum spoke. “It is imperative that I check the rest of your injuries.” He shooed everyone away. “Donatello is free to stay if he is willing to act as the emotional support.” Because heaven forbid, Draxum act as Leonardo’s emotional support

The future boy nodded and made to leave.

O’Neil hummed and frowned. “We better go check on Raph anyways.”

Lou Jitsu exclaimed “I am not leaving!! I will find a spot, right here, and get comfy.” He told him, sitting down by the bed.
And it wasn’t worth the argument because at least Lou Jitsu understood how to assist Draxum if needed.

Draxum responded. “That is fine by me.”

Michael gave Leonardo a kiss on the forehead before following O’Neil and Casey out of his brothers room

Draxum then turned to Leonardo. “We need to check your shell and plastron, urgently.” He could only imagine the partially healed cracks reopening and rubbing against each other during the seizure.

Leonardo nodded quietly, though they could hear his little sniffles. He wondered if he knew they could hear his quiet display of emotion.

Draxum then proceeded to unwrap the bindings around the red eared sliders plastron, checking his shell to make sure everything had stayed in place after the seizure.
There were a few minor adjustments to be made, though nothing that he couldn’t set in place externally.

Donatello sat on the floor, holding Leonardo’s hand quietly the whole time, his gaze averted.

Leonardo had begun to shake as Draxum rewrapped his bandages. He mumbled, voice thick and strained. “I-I’m cold…” He complained, visibly squeezing Donatello’s hand.

He was far from cold however, in fact he was feverish.

Lou Jitsu frowned deeply. “My son… you are very warm you know…”
Draxum frowned. “It's not abnormal to feel feverish after a seizure.” He explained, concerned with the fact that they had no knowledge when it came to the medical field. “You may have the blankets covering your legs. The last thing we need is for you to overheat.” He grabbed the blanket, pulling it up over Leo, he then started to rewrap his shell.

He had to do everything himself. He wouldn’t dare put that trust in someone else, only to have them do a bad job.

Leonardo whimpered, and shifted, complaining. “B-but I’m s-so cold…”

Donatello moved, bringing a hand up to feel Leonardo’s forehead. “Correction. You're hot.”
And of course Donatello thought it meant more if he said it, despite the sentence Draxum had uttered mere moments before.
Leonardo made another pathetic sound, and the rat pointed a finger at Draxum. “Is this cause of those dum-dum medications you’ve been having them take?” He asked suspiciously.

Draxum was taken aback. “I am not giving them weird medications! I am merely providing them with painkillers and antibiotics.” He glared down at Lou Jitsu. “These ‘medications’ have never given anyone a seizure, and they sure aren't going to start now.” Because who did this man think he was. A degenerate?
The audacity, the disrespect, the assumptions!

“No no no.” Lou Jitsu huffed, waving a hand about and interrupting Draxum’s thought process. “I mean the crying, the tears!! So much of it!! Orange has been the same as well!” And Draxum wondered how this family managed to survive without him.

Draxum leaned back. “Clearly you do not think that. As the former Baron, I can assure you that they are crying because their home was torn apart, along with their bodies!” Surely the great Lou Jitsu understood what trauma was. It was no wonder he was absent for most of the boys childhood.

“They have been injured before, they have cried before.” Splinter dismissed him. “This just seems a little extra.” Extra is the word he chose to describe aftermath from a near death experience?
Draxum faltered. Actually he did in fact think the boys were being a little dramatic, especially Michael.
But due to the medication he had given them? The painkillers were doing nothing other than blocking pain receptors.

“This is a completely pointless argument!” Draxum decided, “The painkillers are in the same cupboard in the med bay that they have always been! You are free to look at them!” Because the last thing he would do to his warrior creations would be to drug them with harmful substances.

“Papa, Draxum.” Donatello interrupted. “This is counterproductive.” He spoke simply, and ironically, it was the most productive thing he had done all day.

A hushed silence fell over the room, before Lou Jitsu huffed “I suppose.” His tone softened and he mumbled “I’m sorry my sons. You are right purple, this is unhelpful. I’m going to go check on Orange and Red. Make sure they’re doing alright.”

Draxum sighed, knowing full well that he had been a part of it. “My apologies.”

“Mikey will like that.” Donatello agreed.

Draxum brought a hand up to his face, running it over his eyes, trying to decide how he was going to fix the new complication presented.

Notes:

TW: Seizure, seizure aftermath, family tension

Chapter 3: The Road to Recovery: Pt 3

Summary:

There was silence for a few moments before April hesitantly asked. “Raphie… what’s bugging you?”
His throat hurt, tight with the effort to not cry.

“E-everything i-is gone w-wrong.” He choked out, not knowing how else to express what was going on.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Raph, April, Casey Jr
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey

~Raph~

Raph lay curled up tightly on Splinter’s bed, his weight causing the side of it to sag heavily to the left as that was the side he was on. There was a distinct furry, warm father figure missing from his side, and he was growing cold. Raph had heard the shouts, had heard something was wrong, had heard Splinter shouting his worry, and had just… Not moved.

His entire body felt heavy. Like there was this suffocating weight just… Laid across him. Like, if one of Donnie’s weighted blankets was bad, instead of nice.

And so here he was, alone in his Pops room, mind rushing, rushing, rushing with a million thoughts per second, his side growing colder. Everything was so loud, yet at the same time, there was just… Nothing in his brain. And that left room for the intrusive thoughts.

Raph was startled out of his silent stupor by a quick knock followed by a pattern of short little knocks. “Raph? Hey Raphie, you good?”

That was April, and she sounded concerned.

Immediately, Raph felt pressured and upset with the idea of having to interact, and closed his eyes, hoping they’d think he was asleep or something.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t very good at pretending to be asleep. Not like Leo was. Mikey ran up to Raph, his arms tucked against his chest, and Raph let out a grunt as his youngest brother collided with his side, jostling the bed. “Raph!” Mikey cried out, leaning forwards to press his head against Raph’s side, voice choked up as he exclaimed. “Raph, you won’t believe it!”

Raph hummed lowly, and wrapped a single large arm around Mikey, pulling him closer. He felt so small like this. Small and delicate. Like he could just… break his arm, snap his body, crush his shell, crush him, crush him, crush him. Raph inhaled a little sharply, scared with how violent his thoughts were, deciding to push them away with conversation. Though he already knew what had happened (because his whole family was insanely loud) he asked anyways, voice coming out a lot raspier than he had wanted it to. “Yeh?”

Mikey curled against Raph, sounding close to tears. “Leo had a seizure!” He exclaimed, clearly terribly upset. “And Barry can’t figure out why.” Raph didn’t respond, and instead pulled Mikey closer, curling over him, almost protectively.

Squish him. Turn and throw him against the wall. Bite him, he’s right there. He wouldn’t suspect a thing. Raph inhaled again, deep and shuddering, wishing he knew how to shut up his brain. Never before had his intrusive thoughts been this bad.

In the background, Raph could hear as April murmured to someone, possibly even herself. “I wonder why he didn’t follow us to Leo’s room… He’s normally such a worrier about this kinda stuff.”

Raph felt as Mikey pulled away, and he opened his eyes just in time to see as Mikey pulled a face, picking up on what April said. “What?! Why aren’t you more upset about Leo?!” He demanded. “Are you okay?”

Nope. Raph was far from ok. But he didn’t want to scare Mikey, so instead he decided to stop pretending to fake sleep and actually engage in conversation. “What?? Raph is worried!!” He exclaimed and was surprised when a little bit of anger slipped into his tone.

Mikey hummed, either choosing to ignore his tone, or oblivious as it went over his head. “Then why aren’t you checking on Leo? Usually you’re running by now.” He pressed his cheek against Raph’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’re doin’ okay?”

Raph inhaled again, this time nearly choking on his breath as the overwhelming urge to just take Mikey and slam him against the floor rushed over him. He tightened his grip on the bedding, clenching his teeth, wincing as they scraped together with a horrendous sound.

It was to much, he needed Mikey to back off, he needed space. “I-I’m… I’m fine… Raph’s alright…” He managed, though it sounded incredibly strangled. He was touching him, he was too close, why couldn’t he just back off?

Bite him, hit him, scratch him, strike him, do something something something violent. Raph needed to make someone hurt, and he needed it now.

Raph stood up quickly, and shoved Mikey away, immediately feeling like an absolute piece of trash when Mikey cried out upon being tossed to the floor. Both April and Casey exclaimed, because of course Casey was here to see him totally crash out!

“Raph!!” April shouted, expression full of anger, and Raph snapped “I need some space!!” Backing away from them and promptly tripped over one of the constant messes in dad’s room. Raph staggered, and fell back, shoulder crashing into a dresser. It didn’t hurt him as much as it hurt the dresser, and Raph winced as he heard a crunch. With an angry chuff, Raph did the first thing he could to expel his anger, and slammed his head back, feeling the sudden and sharp pain as the back of his head collided with the flat side of the dresser.

Everyone exclaimed again, and Raph couldn’t take it, pulling his legs close to hug to his chest, creating a cave like space to hide his face in.

There was silence for a few moments before April hesitantly asked. “Raphie… what’s bugging you?”

The question was just so genuine, it hurt. Immediately his brain decided to pull up thousands of ways he could answer that question, with more of half of them catering towards being straight up mean and name calling till they all went away. Instead, Raph chuffed, and mumbled “I dunno, everything?”

His throat hurt, tight with the effort to not cry.

When Mikey spoke, Raph could practically hear the frown in his tone. “Well, I for one, think a hug always helps.” And Raph quickly exclaimed “No!!” waving a hand in front of himself, eyes shut so tight it was making his face hurt. He hated being seen like this, he just wanted them all to go away, to leave him alone so he could ugly cry in peace.

Unfortunately, his family wasn’t very good at leaving anything alone.

He heard as April moved, and based off where her voice was coming from, she had crouched down. “Raph… If something is hurting you, we need to know. I-I know its hard right now, but—Just— You gotta keep communicating, yeah? We’re a family, ya don’t gotta do this on your own, y’know?”

Raph swallowed hard, furrowing his brows as he kept his face hidden. “Jus… Gimme a moment. Please?” He requested and could hear the clear disappointment and worry in April’s tone as she sighed. “Alright… But I’ll be back in 10 minutes. C’mon, let’s go check on Leo again.” She ushered the others out, and the moment they left, Raph felt terrible.

Why had he pushed them away? Why had he done that? A sense of loneliness began to permeate throughout him, like cold seeping through his bones. Tears began to leak out of his eyes, and he reached up to wipe them away, and was startled to see Mikey in the doorway, flinching back into the dresser.

Mikey sighed. “Oh Raphie.” And after a few seconds, approached him, arms held slightly open, silently asking if Raph wanted a hug. And the worst part was that he did. Raph let out a broken sound, and readily leaned into Mikey’s embrace, not even bothering to shift positions. He simply tightened his arms around himself and cried. Mikey’s response to that, was to continue to hug Raph, providing comfort, not saying a word.

Raph continued to cry, slight tears turning into alligator ones fitting to his size. “E-everything i-is gone w-wrong.” He choked out, not knowing how else to express what was going on.

“No it isn’t.” He protested. “We’re all alive and healing.”

“B-but Leo h-had a s-seizure!” Raph choked out, needing to focus on something.

Mikey went silent for a bit, speaking up eventually. “Draxum will figure it out.” He said confidently. “He always does. He made us!”

Despite Mikey’s reassurance, Raph was filled with doubt.

Notes:

Tw: Mention and talk of a seizure, grief, light self-harm, intrusive thoughts, difficulties coping

Chapter 4: The Road to Recovery: Pt 4

Summary:

It had been a full week since Leo’s first seizure, and he had experienced a second one by then, though luckily everyone was a bit more prepared this time.
Raph’s intense intrusive thoughts hadn’t really gotten better, though he had gotten a bit better at handling them. Regardless, it was still really hard and discouraging.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Raph, Casey Jr,
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie

“Week 2”

~Raph~

“Pass me that, would you?”

Raph looked up as Casey called from atop the ladder, fixing up some of the roof damage, tilting his head to the side as he shouted back. “What?”

Casey called back “Y’know, the thingie.” And Raph just stared at him, watching as Casey gestured towards a something in general. “What??”

It had been a full week since Leo’s first seizure, and he had experienced a second one by then, though luckily everyone was a bit more prepared this time. Draxum was currently in the middle of working to get a few brain scans analyzed so they could figure out what was going on.

Raph’s intense intrusive thoughts hadn’t really gotten better, though he had gotten a bit better at handling them. Regardless, it was still really hard and discouraging.

Raph blinked, trying to get his vision to focus. His one eye, the one that the Krang had resided in, was always blurry, and had taken upon itself a milkyish appearance, making it harder to see. Which is exactly why Raph was having a hard time seeing what exactly that Casey was pointing at.

“The leveler, Raph.” Donnie called from across the room, and Raph quickly looked over his shoulder to see what Donnie was pointing to. “He needs to check how level the ceiling is.” Donnie had his goggles down over his eyes, walking around the main room and most likely scanning the area.

Casey nodded vigorously, agreeing. “Yes!! The leveler!! That thing!!” and gestured again, waving a hand almost exactly how Donnie would when asking for a tool. It was strange picking out habits that Casey had that resembled things his brothers did. It was a bit sad to see Casey didn’t have any Raph habits, though not surprising.

Raph stooped down, and dug around in the toolbox, finding what Casey had requested. “Alrightly, here ya go.” He replied, tossing it up, fighting the urge to straight up chuck it at his face. Casey caught it, almost easily and thanked Raph. That ladder wasn’t super stable, Raph could just kick it, and Casey would fall. It would be insanely easy to knock him off. Kick it, kick it kick it--

Raph was jolted out of his thoughts, shaking his head vigorously, feeling as his mask tails hit him in the face on both sides, turning to listen to Donnie’s input. “Wonderful.” Donnie gave them a thumbs up, flicking his goggles onto his forehead. “Now gentlemen, I shall be in my lab, inputting these measurements and working on my top priorities.” He gave a single wave, making his way over to his lab.

“Raph!!” Casey called out, and Raph’s heart leapt into his throat as Casey jumped off the ladder, forcing him to catch him. Casey was honestly a little heavier than he had expected, as he packed a fair amount of muscle “Sheesh Case, give a turtle a lil’ more warning!” He stressed, setting him down, rolling his eyes when Casey grinned at him, offering a simple apology.
Raph sighed, and shrugged, turning to get Donnie’s attention. “Hey!! Sounds good Dee. Rememb’a, April’s gonna be back with pizza in 30.”

Donnie’s eyebrows went up and so did one of his feet. “Ooh! Pizza! The world’s most delicious flat cheesy bread!” He set his foot down. “You can count on me to be there.” Then he set off towards his lab, while Casey pumped a fist, cheering excitedly. “Whoo!! Pizza!!”

It was nice to see Casey Jr so excited for Pizza. Raph still couldn’t believe that Casey hadn’t ever tasted pizza till last week. The mere concept of never eating pizza sounded like a nightmare!! Raph reached over, and clapped Casey on the back, grinning when Casey didn’t topple over. “Nice work. We only gots a lil bit of time left, yeah? Let’s try an’ get the rest of the tidying up finished before April shows up.”

Casey agreed quickly. “Sounds like a plan, Mast— I mean, Raph.” He cleared his throat and began to clean.

Notes:

TW: Intrusive thoughts

Chapter 5: The Road to Recovery: Pt 5

Summary:

His body felt weirdly numb, his mind snapping into a state of hyperactivity when he blinked himself out of the trance. He thought about standing up and finding Mikey, though he was unable to move his limbs.

And so he chose to stay.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

TheInkypawPrint: Donnie

~Donnie~

Donnie entered his lab, walking straight to his desk. It wasn’t the same as his old desk, though it would do. He sighed, the floor cold beneath his feet.

They were working tirelessly to rebuild what the Sister Krang had destroyed. It was, to say the least, moderately suppressive to his emotional state.

He slid into his large, padded chair, leaning back gently. His shell throbbed endlessly throughout the day. It had improved from its state directly after the battle with the Krang, though it was nowhere near what it had been prior to the invasion.
He was beginning to regret jumping into the Technodrome. Though he knew he shouldn’t dwell on what-ifs, because he knew he would have jumped into the ship in every universe.

Donnie sighed again, opening up his computer and writing the current measurements of the lair into one of his many files. He compared it to the previous measurements and was displeased with what he saw.

The Sister Krang had done a number on their lair, and a number on them as well.

Well, lamenting past floor plans was doing nothing but slow his progress. If he was planning on staying in his lab for a little bit, he might as well make himself useful.

Donnie started pulling up tabs that researched prosthetics. His plan was to create hands for Mikey, ones that would move almost as well as his original ones.
He disliked watching Mikey struggle with everyday tasks that he used to find so simple. The least he could do would be to help him.

After a rough ten minutes of staring at his screen, Donnie found himself staring blankly at his screen after zoning out. His body felt weirdly numb, his mind snapping into a state of hyperactivity when he blinked himself out of the trance.
The computer in front of him almost seemed far away, at the end of a tunnel his vision made.

He blinked, noticing that the clock had jumped at least another five minutes from when he looked at it last. He chuckled nervously, the screen looking distant. He was quite conscious of the thoughts his mind was generating, though he lacked the focus to process them, rendering the thoughts useless.
Donnie blinked a few times, attempting to clear his vision.

This was not something he wanted to deal with right now.

He thought about standing up and finding Mikey, though he was unable to move his limbs.
He should be able to, he should be able to move them if he wanted. However, he hit a wall in his mind every time he tried to move, a silent thought process that stopped him from choosing movement.
It was almost as if he lacked the power to send the message through his nerves.
And so he chose to stay.

It no longer felt like his eyes were seeing the world, and instead it looked like he was seeing through a lens. A lens that was his body, his eyes simply watching through disks.
He blinked again, feeling withdrawn into his own body.

There was nerve sensation in the rest of Donnie’s body, though he could hardly focus on it enough to actually register that he had feeling, or that he had a body at all.
His body felt detached and untethered, disconnected from the rest of him.

He wanted to cry out, he wanted to let the world know that he disliked what was happening. However, he lost track of time after that, internalized in his own being.

Notes:

TW: Absence seizure, disassociation, PTSD

This chapter was written exclusively by TheInkypawPrint!

Chapter 6: The Road to Recovery: Pt 6

Summary:

He laughed nervously, the thoughts in his mind pounding into his heart and poisoning his blood.

One day he isn’t going to wake up.

It was okay. It was okay. It was okay.
Donnie would wake up.

He just needed to stay calm. Crying would do nothing right now.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

TheInkypawPrint: Mikey, Donnie

~Mikey~

Mikey lay in his hammock staring at the metal ceiling of his train car. He had his arms folded around his midsection, his wrists throbbing with pain. It was a consistent pain that only let up after he took the painkillers Draxum had found for them.

The fact that he was missing his hands still seemed unreal, and scary. The last he had ever seen of his hands, they had been charred, dead and numb. He felt his mouth quiver. It felt wrong to see part of his body die while he was still living in it, it caused his soul pain. He wondered if his brother’s souls were screaming in protest, or if it was just his.

His nose tingled, warning him that he was going to start crying.
No! He had been crying far too much lately. Sure, some crying could be healthy, but he had reached the point where he was actually hurting himself emotionally by crying again. He needed to get a hold of himself and stop thinking about all the things that he was struggling with.

Mikey sat up, using his body to swing his hammock to the side, utilizing the momentum from the swing to jump out of the hammock as it turned sideways.
April would be showing up with pizza in about a half an hour, he might as well find Donnie. It took a long time to get Donnie to the kitchen lately, so he was pretty sure it would take up the entire half hour.

Mikey made his way through the main area, smiling at Raph and Casey who were working on repairing the cracks in the walls and ceiling from the Sister Krang. Casey looked pretty handy, and Mikey had learned that Casey could build almost anything Donnie could. That would be because Donnie had taught Casey everything he knew.

Must be cool to have a kid that copied everything you did.

If Donnie wasn’t in the main area, then he was most likely in his lab, or in the garage.

Mikey trotted up the stairs leading to Donnie’s lab, leaning forward slightly. He could no longer grab the railing, so if he slipped, he had to rely on his own balance to catch himself, which he had never cared about before. That was, until it wasn’t an option anymore. Now it annoyed him.

The lab was quiet and messy, half-finished projects and broken objects that were waiting to be fixed sat all over the floor. He had a desk over in the corner with his computer and a few other things.
It looked like he was sitting at the desk or laying atop the desk like he was sleeping. It was oddly silent, even for Donnie. Usually there was the sound of typing or whirring depending on what he was doing.
Mikey frowned, the lack of sound teasing him and mocking the worry in his mind.
“Okay, haha.” He said to the air before walking over to Donnie. “Heey Dee? He looked around the chair spotting his brother. Donnie was slumped over in his chair, his face smushed against his desk, cheek pressing into one of his closed eyes.

Oh.

Mikey leaned down, nuzzling Donnie’s forehead with his snout.
He hadn’t realized Donnie was so tired. At least he hoped he was tired. His eyes were closed this time.
Maybe that was good? It should be good, that should mean he just fell asleep.

Mikey hinged at the hips, watching Donnie sideways. “Doonnnniieeee!” He sang quietly. “April is coming with pizza if you’re hungry.” He paused, waiting to see if he could get a reaction.

Donnie stayed still. He looked like one of those Greek statues, but modern and green, and well, fully clothed.

Mikey tapped his foot. “If you’re sleeping, you need to sleep in your bed.” Mikey tipped his head, his worry increasing. He nudged Donnie’s shoulder with his elbow, Donnie’s usually solid muscles squishy with relaxation.

“Stop doing this Donnie.” He whined, concerned. “You keep scaring me and I’m going to find Leo or Raph next.” He nudged Donnie harder, wishing he had hands so he could pick his brother up and bring him to his room.
“Oh, but Michael.” He responded for Donnie. “You can’t tell anyone, because I’m smart and I said so.”
“Well Donnie, I’m going to tell someone anyways if you don’t wake up soon.” He stood up straight, pushing both of his forearms against Donnie’s side, shaking him to the best of his abilities. Not only did he not have hands, but his wrists were still tender.

Donnie failed to respond, acting like he had passed out or something.

One day he isn’t going to wake up.

Okay, shut up! His thoughts needed to shut up.

Mikey groaned, starting to stress. He could feel his heart begin to flutter in his chest, recent memories of the invasion reintroducing themselves to him. He never would have let Donnie go in the Technodrome had he known it would be so damaging.

Oh, who was he kidding. They would have done it anyways.

Mikey decided he was done waiting for Donnie to wake up on his own, so he gently bopped his snout using his wrist, despite the small twinge it sent through his nerves.
Much to his surprise, he actually got a small reaction. Donnie jerked away from him, his eyes snapping open and blinking once or twice.
Mikey leaned down in front of Donnie’s face, hopeful. “Donnie?” He looked his brother in the eyes, noticing that Donnie’s expression was vacant and unseeing.

Mikey waved his arm in front of Donnie’s face, getting absolutely no reaction.
“OhMiGosh!” Mikey exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air and turning around in exasperation. “I made it worse.” He turned back to Donnie, frowning at his lifeless eyes. “Why are your eyes gross?” He whined. “Why?” wanting to scream and shout in distress, but doing his best to keep himself contained.

Mikey bit his lip, confused with the situation. Now he couldn’t even pretend that Donnie was unconscious. He was just… vacant

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He needed to fix this, not make it worse.

He laughed nervously, the thoughts in his mind pounding into his heart and poisoning his blood.
Was it really a guarantee that Donnie would wake up?

Mikey leaned his ear to the back of Donnie’s shell, his heartbeat barely beating under the bony structure.
Would he even know if Donnie just died one day? He could think that Donnie was vacant for some weird reason and figure out hours later that he had died.

Mikey heard a stressed giggle, knowing that it was him only because he was the only present person in the room. He sat down next to Donnie, legs crossed and arms resting on his knees. They stung, but that wouldn’t stop him from sitting in his meditating position.

He exhaled while counting, emptying his lungs fully. He could figure this out, and if he couldn’t? Well, he might need to tell Draxum.

Mikey accessed his nimpō, a searing burn shooting into his arms immediately. He bit his lip, forcing himself to breathe. The pain pulsated through what was left of his arms, and he struggled to focus.

He spread out his nimpō as sweat began to drip down his forehead. He could feel his body begin to shake, but he could also feel Donnie’s presence.
Mikey shoved his nimpō against Donnie’s but received nothing in return, Donnie’s nimpō might as well have been a flower without roots. Beautiful, yet useless.

Mikey’s feeble concentration snapped, and he was plunged back into the dark of the lab. He doubled over, tucking his arms against his plastron, the boiling temperatures seeping into his arms and suffocating his nerves.

He let out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt tears gather in them.

Leo might never heal. He could have seizures for the rest of his life. Raph had permanently impaired vision, and Donnie was gone?
Mikey felt a sob build up in his chest, and he pushed away the feeling, convincing himself to stay calm.

It was okay. It was okay. It was okay.
Donnie would wake up.
Draxum would find the reason for Leo’s seizures.
Raph would adjust to his vision.
And Mikey could learn how to live without hands…..

He just needed to stay calm. Crying would do nothing right now.

Mikey shook his head, his mask tails bouncing behind his head.
He stood up, glancing at Donnie’s vacant eyes again. “Okay… Let’s make sure your eyes are closed.” He said, a little freaked out.

He didn’t have fingers anymore, so he carefully used his forearm to close Donnie’s eyes, taking extra care not to squish his face.
Donnie jerked away, snapping his jaw at Mikey’s arm. Mikey moved a split second before Donnie’s teeth snapped the air where his arm had been, his purple markings lighting up with a spark as he exclaimed angrily.

Mikey jumped back, trying to get out of Donnie’s attack range. “Heeyy, heey! That’s my arm. It’s okay, I’m the only person in the lab right now.”

Donnie froze, his eyes wide as they settled on Mikey. “May I inquire as to why you were touching my face?” He sounded short tempered. “Don’t-Don’t touch me wh-when.” He paused looking away and letting out a stressed careening chuckle. “When I can’t… when I don’t….” He trailed off.

Mikey frowned, guilty. “Sorry Dee.” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know what it was like. “Don’t uh, worry about it... It hasn’t been long I don’t think.”

Donnie tipped his head back, his expression strained. “That is an estimation Michael, it is not a fact.” He had his eyes closed, leaning forwards once again to bury his face in his hands.

Mikey faltered, unsure what to say next. The last thing he wanted to do was tip Donnie over the edge, and right now, there were so many things he could say that would trigger a downward spiral.

Mikey swallowed his feelings, his thoughts pushing his emotional buttons as if they weren’t part of the same entity, as if they were fighting with each other.
He wondered if he was fighting with himself, or if he was just fighting with trauma.

Mikey hummed nervously. “Um, well I saw you an hour ago, so it couldn’t have been longer than that.” He tried.

Donnie rubbed his temples, his breathing quickening.
He had looked better.
Mikey hunched into his shell, the rim of his plastron pressing against the bottom of his chin as he rested against it, wanting nothing less than for the chaos to stop.
He almost never saw any of his brothers like this, that was until after the invasion.

“Ummm, Donnie?” Mikey asked tentatively, his words the potential picks that would break the ice. “I think…. Maybe it would be best to find help?”
He paused, trying to gauge Donnie’s response.

His brother showed no response, curled up on his chair, visible sweat spots on the under arms of his hoodie.

“Donnie.” Mikey began again. “This can’t keep happening. You’ve been lucky! It keeps happening when you’re sitting down, when you’re doing something that isn’t dangerous.”
Mikey’s voice wobbled, and he choked down the sounds of his distress before continuing, the pain from his arms almost unnoticeable past the tingling in his veins. “What if it happens when you’re driving, or taking a bath? What if you drowned or burned yourself with a power tool because of it.” Mikey argued with his motionless brother, the only tell that he hadn’t become vacant once more was the slight tense of his muscles.

Donnie growled, sitting up. “And what are you suggesting?” He snapped, his vocal inflection warbling with a bit of a wild sound to it.
It was a sudden reaction, but it was a foreseen one.

Mikey brought his arms against his chest, pressing them into his plastron.
He knew Donnie would be mad, but he was done watching his entire family descend into chaos as all of their health spiraled. “You need to tell someone. Tell Draxum! You can’t do this on your own, and I can’t help!” He blurted, bracing for the outburst from his brother.
His fear of Donnie never waking back up much stronger than his fear of angry older brother.

Donnie paused, pushing off his chair to stand in front of Mikey. “Informing Draxum of the situation will be the last option I resort too.” He growled. “I have the resources to solve this on my own.” He sounded hostile and mad in a way that was oddly violent for Donnie.

Mikey looked away.

Donnie wouldn’t figure it out on his own, not when he couldn’t even go a week without going vacant, thoughts flashed through Mikey’s mind, distracting him.
What if Donnie had a brain bleed!

Mikey glanced back towards his brother, the floor as cold against his feet as his confidence was as cold against his sentence. “If you don’t tell Draxum, I am going to tell someone.” He took a breath in. “This isn’t right, waiting could make it worse. I’m going to tell Draxum.” He asserted, the muscles in his face were tight with stress, his brow pulled into a glare. His chest puffed out in a forced confidence.

Donnie mirrored his expression. “No, that is out of the question.” He fought, tossing a hand out to the side. “What makes you think telling Draxum will be a good idea. Is it productive?” Donnie asked venomously. “No!”

Mikey snapped at him. “Is sitting around acting like a dead body any more productive! Also no!”
He huffed. “You can’t stop me from telling Draxum, want to know why? Because you won’t even be present! I’m worried Donnie.” It was a low blow, but he was pretty sure Donnie needed it at this point.

Donnie waved his hand to the side. “You fail to understand Michael.” He looked him in the eye, his pupils wavering slightly. “You cannot tell Draxum. He is busy.” Donnie shook his head. “For what reason would I tell Draxum that there is something wrong with me. I have yet to lose consciousness at a time when it matters, and the ordeal in and of itself is completely harmless.”
He ran a hand down his face. “There are other factors that are less harmless though. Have you considered Papa’s health, have you considered his injuries? Have you considered the fact that the only person who knows how to care for him is the Baron?” He chuckled. “Because that is the conclusion I came to, because that is the reality.”
He threw his hands in the air.
“Has it occurred to you that Leo is facing a similar problem? He has recently healed to a point that is no longer life threatening, and the person who helped him to that point was Draxum. He is currently experiencing seizures at random intervals, with no sign as to why, and the only person who is capable of figuring out why is Draxum.”

Mikey gripped the ground with his toes, the frustration at the situation nagging at his mind. A lonely feeling creeping its way around his ribs and into his unprotected heart.

“Do you understand that Draxum’s capabilities are the only reason both Splinter and Leo are still alive? That any of us are still alive and functioning! The worst thing I can do right now is add something new onto his plate. Especially when it is something that has yet to showcase something problematic, inconvenient yes, but not problematic.”

Mikey stuttered, watching Donnie as he continued to rant.
“Do you understand that this is still a life or death situation for Leo and Splinter? Because I do, and I see no reason to tell Draxum anything until after they are healed.” He looked away. “I will tell Draxum after their health is more stable.”

Mikey swallowed thickly. Donnie never got mad at him like this, a wave of chill washing through his limbs when the regretful lonely feeling surged as it stabbed into his heart.

Mikey could feel the waves of emotion trying to push him off a boat he had been struggling to stay on.
He couldn’t think of an argument to beat the one Donnie had given him, mainly because he was worried about the rest of his family as well, he was especially worried about Leo.
“I… if I find you like that more than once, I w-will tell Draxum any-anyways.” Mikey shuddered as he fought another wave. One that threatened tears.

He would open the dam in his alone time, when there was no one else he could concern with his sobbing.

He watched Donnie’s eyes quiver as they maintained eye contact.
Donnie’s eyes.
He remembered looking into them many times. During missions, late movie nights, when Leo made a bad joke and they were silently sharing their opinions on it.
He remembered communicating with sight, but he didn’t remember the flat look in his pupils, the reflectiveness of what used to be a window to his soul.
The frustration that made Mikey feel like Donnie wasn’t seeing him as his brother at the moment.
His eyes were just a basic function for sense.

Donnie looked away. “Mikey I… I didn’t mean to shout, that wasn’t… Please don’t tell anyone.” He trailed off, wringing his hands.

Mikey bit his lip to stop it from twitching into a frown.

Mikey stepped up to Donnie in response, holding his arms out. When Donnie didn’t move, he took it as the okay and wrapped his arms around his older brother.
He didn’t care if the hug was real, or if it was completely one-sided.
He cared that he got to hug his brother in hopes that it helped him. He cared that he got a hug, even if Donnie was mad, even if it was nothing to him.

He tucked his chin over Donnie’s shoulder, his soul sinking into the familiar warmth that was his brother.
He missed his brothers.

He remembered Donnie getting pulled into the Technodrome.
He remembered standing inside the alien spaceship, alone. Knowing that Raph was as good as gone, knowing that Leo was alone on a suicide mission, hoping that Donnie would reemerge from the Technodrome when he was done.

The feeling had never left. The feeling that death was more of a reality then the life he was living.

Donnie eventually hugged Mikey back, the soft sigh that left him was sad. Emotionally resigning.

Notes:

TW: Outside perspective on an absence seizure, PTSD,

Another Inky exclusive chapter!! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 7: The Road to Recovery: Pt 7

Summary:

He clasped his hands together. It was obvious to him that the problem was unsolvable. Even if he figured out what was causing the seizures there was no way to stop them without medication, and even then it would not work one hundred percent.

He wondered how he would break the news to the Hamato’s.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo
TheInkypawPrint: Draxum

~Draxum~

Draxum sighed, smushing a disk against Leonardo’s head. “Hold still you insufferable teen!” He might as well call off the testing at this point.

Leonardo made a petulant little sound, squirming again, “I’m trying! You made it hard!!”
Oh he did, did he?
He made it hard! They would have finished quite a while ago had Leonardo decided to keep still.

Draxum let out an annoyed hum. “I did not make it hard! You simply don’t know how to stay still.” He started placing another disk. “The scan won’t work if the disk’s aren’t in place.” And they couldn’t afford flawed results.

Leonardo was continuously bouncing his leg, his foot propped up against the med bay table, shaking the furniture and aggravating Draxum. He looked down, his expression intense, hands clutching the sides of the table tightly.

Draxum sighed. “Do you need to watch tv or something?” Hoping that by some childish miracle it would help the late teen calm himself so that they may finish.

“What do you think I am, a toddler?” Leonardo snapped back, making a face at him. It was clear what kind of parent Lou Jitsu had been.

“Oh, are you not a toddler?” Draxum responded, deciding to give him some cheek as well. “Then why are you acting like one?” It felt good.

Leo made a face and pushed Draxum’s hand away, disrupting his disk pattern. “The tools you’re using are loud, ok? They make a loud sound, and it hurts my ears. Happy?”
Actually, he was happy. Happy that Leonardo had told him what was bothering him instead of moping around like the moody boy he usually was.

Draxum went silent, moving his hand away. He made his way to the other side of the med bay where he started digging through the drawer. He came back moments later, holding out ear plugs. “My apologies.” This would hopefully make him sit still.

Leonardo huffed, snatching the ear plugs and putting them in before sitting still, a pouty look on his face.

After a moment of silence, he asked. “Can you not hear it?”

“The humming of electricity?” Draxum asked. “Yes, I can hear it. I simply do not care.” And he certainly could hear it, a high-pitched thrumming originating from the machine pulsated through the air.
It was quite an old machine, and it was the only one he had been able to get his hands on after his lab had been destroyed.

“How? It drives me nuts!” The red-eared slider exclaimed, gripping the table tighter.

“As someone who works with a lot of electricity, you get used to it after a while.” Draxum placed another disk onto Leo’s head, noting that Leonardo had surprisingly sensitive ears. It was most likely due to personality and coping mechanisms, instead of enhanced hearing, seeing that he was a red eared slider.

Leonardo hummed and commented. “Donnie never did.”

Draxum stuck another disk to Leonardo’s head, wondering how the poor boys managed to stay sane after all this time with their endless sensitivities. “Donatello is sensitive.”

Leo chuffed, squinting at him. “Yeah? And?” He challenged needlessly.

Draxum replied. “It means he has a hard time adjusting.” He put it nicely, the words actually meaning that he was unable to adjust at all.

Leonardo replied with snark. “He still adjusts better than you do.” And promptly shut up.

Draxum huffed, though he stopped commenting.
It was not worth the argument. He stuck the last disk onto Leo’s head, each one connected to a machine through a wire. “We should start the EEG now. It requires you to stay silent.” He told him, even though he should be able to talk without effecting seizure warnings.
However, if he could find an abnormality within Leonardo’s normal brainwaves, he wouldn’t have to wear the disks all day.

Leo hummed and said in an almost teasing tone. “How do I know you aren’t just telling me that so I’ll stay quiet, hm?”

“The EEG records brain activity and talking lights up certain portions of the brain.” Draxum walked over to the machine. “As of right now, I am looking for a basic brain scan, meaning no talking.” He said with all seriousness. “Though.” He started in a mildly teasing voice. “It does have its perks.” He wondered mildly if he could pay the teen money to make him quiet down.

“Rude.” Leo retorted, a hint of a smile upon his face.

Ah, so he was enjoying this was he? Perhaps this was how he interacted with people.
“Ha ha.” Draxum mused. “I will be starting the machine now.”

Leo fixed his gaze on the other side of the room, going very still. It was a sight Draxum found amusing.

Draxum watched the EEG as the waves moved across the screen. They followed the typical patterns for somebody sitting still without stimulation.
He spent an undetermined amount of time attempting to find odd patterns in Leonardo’s brainwaves, but he came up with nothing.
Draxum stopped the machine, planning to hook him up to the little portable one. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news.” He sighed. “Though you might have to wear those disks for a while longer. Your brain looks normal, there is no abnormal activity from the looks of it.” He paused. “I would like to monitor your brain throughout the day.” He walked over to Leonardo after grabbing the portable EEG from the med bay table. “I would prefer to find something using the EEG and not a radiological method.” Because the last thing Leonardo needed was radiation and contrast material in his brain.

Leonardo made a face, and began to sign, ‘does that mean I can’t talk all day?’

And Draxum was honestly a little disappointed, feeling his ears flattening out over his silky hair. “You may talk.” He responded, making sure his expression returned to normal, despite his disappointment. “We will simply monitor your brain activity throughout the day to see if we can catch any abnormal changes.” He ran a hand down his face.
And if they didn’t, then he would have to figure out a new method of diagnostic testing until he found out what was causing the sudden onset of seizures.

“I am unsure where I would find an MRI anyways.” He mumbled to himself, scanning through locations in his mind.

He heard when Leonardo hopped off the medical table, talking again. “Oh good. Alright, I suppose. Though, you do know, if you wanted an MRI, Donnie could make one in about a month. Possibly less.”
Ah, the red eared slider was right. Donatello could indeed build an MRI, he would just nearly kill himself in the process.
It would be a last resort.
Draxum hummed. “That boy has quite the intellect. If I cannot find anything using the EEG, I can ask Donatello.” He would not ask Donatello, he would search other locations first, and if they were unable to sneak in and use one at a hospital, then he would consider other options.

Leonardo nodded, and asked, “so, I’m good to go? A-ok? Yes?”

“You are free.” Draxum responded. “Go enjoy some pizza.” Because the boy probably wanted to leave so he could complain about the Baron.

Leonardo pumped a fist, cheering. “Whoo yeah, baby!!” and promptly left the med bay, heading to the kitchen.

Draxum sighed, sitting down on the table that Leonardo had recently vacated.

He was almost positive Leonardo had suffered brain damage in the prison dimension, and the thought weighed on his mind. He acted normally, he even seemed to be processing the same way he had been before, yet it was just not possible to randomly develop seizures unless something in his brain or nervous system had changed.

He clasped his hands together. It could be possible that they were caused by trauma or something else of the sort. However, he could not be sure until he performed more testing.

It was obvious to him that the problem was unsolvable. Even if he figured out what was causing the seizures there was no way to stop them without medication, and even then it would not work one hundred percent.

He wondered how he would break the news to the Hamato’s.
Despite Splinter’s odd view on the world, he did love his sons dearly, and Draxum worried that it would break the family’s heart to hear that Leonardo would never fully recover.
It was even possible that Leonardo would continue to change in the mind.
He had already considered a slow brain bleed, but the symptoms did not quite match up. In fact, Leonardo’s current condition did not match any diagnoses that would support a cause of seizures.

What did the boys call it, Doctor Home? Medical Murder Mysteries? He felt as if he were in one of the dumb human shows trying to figure out some impossible diagnosis that failed to exist in the real world.

Not to mention the sudden decline in Splinter’s health. It was a major pressing matter, and he was still trying to figure out what had caused Splinter’s sudden lapse.
He had no infection from his injuries, his blood levels were healthy, yet he was only getting sicker.
Perhaps his body was simply too old to handle the emotional and physical stress from the invasion. Perhaps he was simply failing from old age.
Draxum however, was going to keep him alive to the best of his abilities. His oldest son was barely eighteen, they did not need to lose a father at such a young age, and certainly not after such a damaging event as the invasion.

The least he could do for them would be to find some seizure medications for Leonardo before he had to return to work.

Notes:

TW: Use of medical equipment (non-invasive)

Chapter 8: The Road to Recovery: Pt 8

Summary:

Leo stepped back, feeling like the ground wasn’t solid, setting his pizza down on the counter. His hands began tingling, as if he had lost circulation in them, and the lights began to flicker weirdly, as if someone had placed a weird filter over his eyes.

“Guys? I don’t feel so good…” in a blink, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell forwards, feeling as if the floor fell out from beneath him.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo, April, Raph, Casey Jr
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey, Donnie, Draxum

~Leo~

Leo skidded around the corner, gripping the wall to propel himself faster to zip into the kitchen. In the kitchen, April, Raph and Casey were already eating pizza, chatting amicably while Donnie and Mikey looked like they had just entered the kitchen, Mikey standing close to Donnie’s side as they made their way to the multiple boxes laid upon the counter.

April noticed Leo, and immediately her expression brightened. She waved excitedly to come join, grinning as she exclaimed. “Leo!! C’mon, I got a box of Hawaiian for you!”

Leo beamed at her, feeling warmth flood his heart. It felt nice to be thought of. “Aw, heck yeah!!” He enthused, quickly making his way over, watching as Donnie walked over to the pepperoni pizza and grabbed a slice for both him and Mikey.

Mikey grinned at Donnie, using one of his arms to slide his plate onto the other arm, balancing it on his way over to the table

April asked Mikey, warm concern leaking into her tone. “You need any help, Mikes? Or you got it?”

Raph spoke for him, mouth half full of a slice. “He prahly fine Aprahl.” And April wrinkled her nose at him. “Gross man, don’t speak with your mouth full.”

Mikey whipped his head back and forth, shaking his head dramatically. “I need to learn how to do this eventually.” He slid the plate onto the table. “How else am I supposed to fix my blood shuggies without you guys!”

“Yeah, let the man preach!” Leo cheered, walking past them to yank his own slice off the pizza, not even bothering with a plate. “Say, anyone seen dad? Didn’t he say he was gonna join this time?” It bugged him a little bit to see dad not participating, as he had really been making an effort since the Shredder to be a part of more family activities.

Casey tilted his head to the side. “…Preach?…”

Donnie rolled his eyes at Leo and Mikey, sitting down at the table and pulling his hoodie over his head. “He’s being dramatic.” Donnie informed Casey, sounding tired. Eugh boy, no Donnie lecture, or dictionary explanation on the meaning of the word preach? Was Donnie doing alright?

Mikey paused. “Wait a minute. Leo, you’re right. Dad’s not here!” Raph chuffed, pausing to speak before taking a bite. “He’s prolly still napin’ or somethin’” Mikey squinted at Raph. “I don’t know Raph… what of he just forgot he was supposed to eat pizza with us?”

April sighed and set her pizza down, folding it weirdly on the counter in a way that honestly bothered Leo. Pizza wasn’t meant to be napkin shaped. “I’ll go get him, gimme a sec.”

She made to leave the kitchen, slipping around the corner, and Donnie hummed in acknowledgement, eating his own pizza moodily.

The room lapsed into silence, besides the gooey chewing, which just wouldn’t do!! They were all literally in the same room, where was the chatter? The small talk, the pestering? Leo decided it was up to him to break the silence, and rocked back and forth on his feet, humming. “Soooo…” he began, letting his tone drawl. “How’s the repairs?”

Immediately Donnie made to answer, talking through a mouth of pizza as April wasn’t there to reprimand him for it. “Raph and Casey have almost finished in the main area.” He swallowed his pizza. “I have been working in my lab.”

“Nice nice.” Leo replied, waving his pizza back and forth as he spoke. Raph nodded in return, and Casey piped up “Yeah!! It’s going really smoothly!!” Donnie nodded just as Raph had, continuing by listing off. “After the main area, we need to reinforce our garage doors.”

Mikey struggled to pick up his pizza on the other side of the table, and Leo caught himself watching Mikey distractedly. Oh gosh, he felt weird all of the sudden. The ringing he had been hearing earlier got louder, and his skin prickled as a wave of heat washed over him. Leo stepped back, feeling like the ground wasn’t solid, setting his pizza down on the counter. His hands began tingling, as if he had lost circulation in them, and the lights began to flicker weirdly, as if someone had placed a weird filter over his eyes.

Casey nodded in return. “That’d be a good idea. What sort of system were you thinking—“

Leo interrupted, cutting him off to call out hesitantly. “Guys? I don’t feel so good…” in a blink, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell forwards, feeling as if the floor fell out from beneath him. He heard a bunch of clamor, and large hands grip him tightly, stopping him from what would surely have been a painful fall.

Someone shouted, voice high with panic “I-I’ll go get Draxum!!” and Leo stopped processing what was going on.

His body felt weird, like he was a live wire. It hurt, but not really, like how being tickled was its own unique brand of pain. Everything was moving, yet Leo felt like nothing was happening. It was like being in a washing machine, tumbling around in sensations, drowning in panic.

Leo didn’t know how long it went for but when it finally stopped, all he felt was a deep sense of relief. He sagged, tense muscles bleeding out all the tension as a thick darkness engulfed him.

*
*
*

When Leo came to, he was on his side, a rumpled hoodie shoved beneath him, with voices all around him.

“Did he hit his head?”

“Raph caught him.”

There was a brief pause of silence. “Let’s get you checked.”

A hand with long fingers grabbed Leo’s shoulder, shifting him ever so slightly. “Do you have pain anywhere?”

Leo opened his eyes, and let his gaze rove back and forth, not really registering what he was seeing. Shapes and colors, and blurry lights danced before his eyes. One blob was bigger than the rest, so he focused on it.

“Are you present?”

Leo stared for a second, not understanding before he realized that the someone was waving a hand in his face, and he flinched hard.

“We will give him a moment, then I will see if I can move him somewhere besides the grungy floor.”

Leo heard someone whine, before the large hands around him tightened, making him feel somewhat uncomfortable. “Whys this happenin’? Whys this keep happenin’ ta him?”

“Calm your panic Raphael!” and Leo recognized the voice as Draxum’s. “I have no clue why this is happening, and I am trying to figure it out. I will hopefully have a reading from the EEG during Leo’s seizure, if he didn't break it, and I will look for abnormal brain patterns before and after.”

“W-whuz… wh-what’s happening?” Leo asked, voice slurred, shifting as more clarity came into his eyes. He felt like he was emerging from deep underwater, everyone’s faces becoming clearer and clearer.

Draxum looked down at him. “You had a seizure.” He informed, and Leo groaned, pushed off of Raph, sliding to his knees. “Th-that’s…. Ugh…” He felt horrible now. All achy, and shivery, and even a little nauseous.

“New, startling and hopefully temporary.” Draxum added, as if he were trying to be helpful. Out of character much? Leo found himself funny, but apparently, Mikey found nothing about this to be funny. “Hopefully temporary?” Mikey piped up, sounding completely dismayed. “This isn't going to heal with his injuries?!”

“M-Mike, I-I’m sure I’ll be—Eugh…” Leo lent forwards, closing his eyes, and choked out as his mouth pooled with weird tasting saliva. “I-I think I’m gonna b-be sick.”

Raph quickly picked him up, bringing him to the sink, allowing Leo to quickly gripped the edges, leaning forwards, feeling (and probably looking) completely miserable. He felt like a 6-year-old being dragged to the toilet by Raph after getting the rat flu all over again. Oh man, the shame, the disgust. Leo gagged lightly, spit dripping out of his mouth as bile prepared itself to make itself well known.

Donnie gagged when he heard the sound Leo made, and Leo could just imagine how he’d turn away from the sink, hands pressed tightly over his ears. “Now would be a bad time Vomitello.” He mumbled.

Leo heard as April came back into the kitchen, ranting loudly. “He’s not getting outta bed, and it’s seriously ticking me off, and— oh… oh goodness, what on earth?”

Well that was just peachy! Now he had the whole household audience to what was sure to be an embarrassing scene. Leo waved behind his head, calling out “hi Apr—“ then threw up for reals.

And oh gosh did it burn.

Vomit gushed through his nose, and spilled out his mouth, so incredibly revolting. None of the pizza had been digested, so that made for an entirely new and disgusting sensory experience. Leo groaned loudly, wanting to just skip forwards in time, so he wouldn’t have to be here anymore.

Leo blew his nose hard, choking slightly as the bile and undigested food came out, burning all the way and he could just hear the voice April made a face as she commented. “Oh that is nasty!!”

Leo slumped, grateful when Raph turned on the sink, allowing the smell to wash down the drain. Man, Raph was a good brother. He should tell him that more often.

“Can you explain what he is doing exactly?” Leo listened as Draxum got up, opening cupboards and such. He was probably getting a cup, due to the clinking sound of glass.

“Th-throwing up.” Leo offered unhelpfully, a hint of amusement in his tone, once again, finding himself funny. He realized with a start that Draxum had gotten a cup of water for him, and accepted it, peering up at him to see the exasperated look Draxum gave Leo, though he didn't say anything.

Eventually, April piped up, asking “Who me? You want the deets on Splints?”

“Yes, April. I want information on Lou Jitsu.” He confirmed. “Did he refuse to come because he is lazy, because he is in pain, unable to move? I hope you realize! I am in charge of each and every one of your well-beings. And, if I am not informed of something, there is a high chance that I won’t realize until far too much time has passed.” He paused. “So please, pray tell!” He dramatically finished.

Leo shifted slightly, using the sink and Raph as things to lean against, gingerly sipping water while he watched everyone. Over in the corner of the kitchen, Donnie had grabbed his hoodie, put it on and chuckled awkwardly to himself, pulling the fabric around his face. That looked like the face of a guilty turtle.

The longer Draxum went on, the more worried April looked. She waved her hands near the end exclaiming “Ok ok!! I’ll give you the rundown, yeah? He seemed real tired, like extra, an said he was too tired to eat right now, but he’d eat later. He mostly seemed… I dunno, depressed? Like when the boys were younger.”

An awkward silence fell over the room, as they were all most likely remembering the same thing. Splinter’s infamous couch days. Man, those had actually been bad. Especially the smell.

Finally Draxum spoke up. “I, yes, well, if he is well enough, then I will check his injuries later…” he said awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with the group, apparently not knowing how to respond properly.

There was more awkward silence, and it made Leo uncomfortable. He shuddered as a shiver wracked through his whole body. Quickly, he dumped the rest of the water in his mouth, swished it around, then spat it into the sink noisily. “I’m cold…” He stated, not having anything else to say.

Raph asked Draxum. “Is… it safe ta move him? Get him somewhere more comfy?”

“Raphael.” Draxum started, a little exasperated, a hint patient. “You have already moved him. At this point, it would be better to get him somewhere comfortable. Get him off his feet.”

Raph’s face blanked out, as his brain buffered then he realized Draxum’s statement was correct. “Ah… Alright then, Leo, where you wanna chill?”
Raph scooped Leo up, brow furrowing as Leo immediately pressed close to him, shivering. Oh man, he was a lot colder than he had realized, and boy did Raph feel toasty. “Anywhere with blankets man, I don’t care.” He replied, voice quavering with the cold he was feeling.

“I would encourage the med bay.” Draxum decided for them. Raph nodded, and they made their way out of the kitchen, perfectly good meal ruined.

Notes:

TW: Seizure, graphic depiction of vomiting, brief mention of child neglect

Alright!! For those who were reading before the formatting update, this is the final section of chapter 1, and we're now moving onto the content of chapter 2! For those who came after the format update, don't worry about it lol

Chapter 9: Dead End: Pt 1

Summary:

“Sad is not bad.” Splinter started, reaching out and making grabby hands for one of Mikey’s arms. “Sad is an emotion. You told me that.” He was trying to help. On a normal day, it would have worked. Today though… it was painful.

“I did.” Mikey unfolded his arms, giving one to Splinter. “It’s just.. a really strong emotion right now.” He avoided eye contact, the occasional silent tear sliding down his cheek. The tears were fluid, falling without resistance.

Splinter began to rub the stump of Mikey’s wrist, a gentle and slow movement. “That is also ok. You be sad, and I’ll be here for you while you are sad.”

And that wasn’t true.

It wasn’t true, and they both knew it.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Splinter
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey

“Week 3”

~Mikey~

Life Was… Well, a new experience.
Growing up was an interesting part of life and Mikey wasn’t sure it was something he wanted to do.
He understood that to mature, he needed life experiences, he needed growth opportunities and mental challenges in order for his mind to grow.
This was not a cocoon he wanted to break out of though.

Mikey entered Splinter’s train car, peeking around the sliding doors. “Dad?” He asked quietly. It was dark inside the room, similar to the gloaming of a late fall night. A small voice in his head whispering. Whispering that his Dad might not respond.

Mikey pressed his arms against his sides, both in suspense and in pain. They burned and throbbed, his hands hot from his mystic energy. The memory he had of his hands physically burned into the space where they should have been, the pain crackling with the dying flame of an orange coal.

Much to his relief, there was a faint cough, followed by Splinter calling from his bed. “Orange, is that you?”

“Hey Dad.” Mikey responded, slipping around the side of the door and sliding it shut behind him, pushing it with his foot. It wasn’t hard, he was agile. What was hard was walking into the room to begin with, the heaviness that sat in his chest slowly and impossibly rose up to his throat.

It was even darker in the room now that he had closed the door, taking away the visual stimuli and only making the pain in his hands/wrists more noticeable.
He walked over to Splinter’s bed, taking care not to step on anything in the darkened room. He kneeled down by his Dad, his arms still crossed tightly over his plastron. “You don’t mind the company, do you?” And he knew Splinter wouldn’t, but what was one question in a lifetime of misunderstanding. A lifetime of lost communication.

“Oh no,” Splinter dismissed, waving a hand out from under his blanket pile. “I much welcome it. Come in my-” Splinter broke off coughing, voice resolving into ragged hacks.

That wasn’t normal, even for someone his age, and they all knew it.
“Pops!” Mikey exclaimed. He took one of the pillows and pushed it behind the one Splinter was already using, elevating him.
Luckily pillows were easy for him to maneuver.

Splinter coughed a while longer before settling down against the pillow. “Ough… thank you Orange.” He croaked out.

As the weeks had been progressing, Splinters health had been getting worse and worse, with Draxum struggling to figure out what the cause was.

“What? You don’t need to thank me.” Mikey leaned against the mattress, laying his head on Splinter’s shoulder. “You just need to heal.” His shoulder was furry. It wasn’t the softest at the moment, slightly dirty from the days of being unable to shower.
He hardly cared though. He would remember it, and it would be soft in his memories.

Splinter reached over and patted Mikey atop the head. “Ahah, if you say so, my son. Now, the Tv turned off, and it’s very dull in here now. Be a dear, and turn it on again?” He offered Mikey a smile, and it was apparent from his tone, that he had learned that phrase from Big Mama.

Mikey faltered, disappointed that Splinter still wanted to watch the Tv when he was standing right there next to him. “I, yeah sure...” He stood up, walking over to the projector that they had moved into Splinter’s room, clicking it on. He fumbled with the remote, eventually holding it between his wrists, bringing it over to Splinter

Splinter took it easily, and sat up to pat Mikey on the head, beaming at him. “Very good Orange! Now did you want to come watch something with me? Your choice?” Splinter waved the remote bank and forth, raising a bushy eyebrow.

He was in pain, anyone could see that, Mikey could almost feel it.
This was a cocoon he didn’t want to break out of.

Mikey nodded, sitting down next to Splinter. He held back tears. He wanted Splinter to heal and he wanted his arms to stop hurting, but neither of those were happening so he settled for watching the Tv. “Jupiter Jim?” He asked, because the Jupiter Jim series was part of his childhood memories, he remembered watching Jupiter Jim next to his Dad when he was young. If he could have one wish right now, it would be to spend a few minutes relishing in the peace he had as a child.

Splinter huffed. “You boys and your space adventure Tv… which one you want?” He wanted to stop time.

Mikey chuckled, snuggling up next to Splinter, trying to warm him up. “Jupiter Jim saves a cat.” His arms throbbed, almost enough to make him curl into a ball, but he stayed put.

Splinter made a noise of confirmation, and pressed a few of the buttons, flipping through screens of Donnie’s wildly complicated remote. “I think I found it.” He told him, the light from the projector shining through the room, changing color as the screen morphed into new menu’s.

“Yeah. That’s the one.” Mikey confirmed, watching as Splinter set up the show. He pressed his cheek against Splinter’s shoulder again, letting his fur fluff into his face.
There was no fluff quite like his Dad’s fur, partially because it smelled like him, partially because of its texture, and mainly because it was his.

“Do you like having whiskers?” Mikey asked arbitrarily, wanting nothing more than an interaction with his Dad. He had always loved Splinter’s whiskers, and he wanted to know what Splinter thought of them before he no longer had the ability to ask him.

“Like, in the beard sense?” Splinter asked, eyes on the Tv, the lights flashing in the reflection of his tired eyes.

Mikey hummed. “Yeah, like a beard but you can feel with it.”

“Huh…” Splinter mused, a slight chuckle in his throat. “I never thought of it like that. Well, sometimes, it’s nice, and sometimes annoying. I like my beard better than my rat whiskers. They’re too sensitive!”

“Oh.” Mikey thought. “Well, you can feel people smiling when you hug them.” He pointed out.
He had a distinct memory of hugging his Dad after returning from a mission. They had recently had a big family fight, this was before they knew he was Lou Jitsu. When they came home, they all apologized, and they had a group hug.
Mikey could remember seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces, he could remember the tight squeeze of the hug, and he could remember his Dad’s whiskers brushing up against his face.

“I have never thought about that.” Splinter hummed, and reached for the remote. Normally, this would be the part where he’d turn up the volume, and request everyone to shut up.
Except… he turned down the volume, and asked. “My son… is something bothering you?”

And there was a chill of emotion that dropped from the heaviness in his chest swirling once through his stomach before dispersing into a tingling mess of turmoil.

“Uuuuhhh….” Mikey curled up. “I don’t know… my hand- err, arms hurt...” He sniffed, fighting tears. “I guess I’m worried for everyone. And I’m, I’m sad…” He fell silent, acting reluctant.
Sad was in no way to describe what he was feeling. It was one of those big emotions that people described using large dramatic words. The emotions where he had a hard time placing how they actually felt.

“Sad is not bad.” Splinter started, reaching out and making grabby hands for one of Mikey’s arms. “Sad is an emotion. You told me that.” He was trying to help. On a normal day, it would have worked. Today though… it was painful.

“I did.” Mikey unfolded his arms, giving one to Splinter. “It’s just.. a really strong emotion right now.” He avoided eye contact, the occasional silent tear sliding down his cheek. The tears were fluid, falling without resistance.

Splinter began to rub the stump of Mikey’s wrist, a gentle and slow movement. “That is also ok. You be sad, and I’ll be here for you while you are sad.”

And that wasn’t true.

It wasn’t true, and they both knew it.

The lie of denial was enough to cause Mikey’s breath to hitch. He did his best to focus on the soothing massage of his wrist.

“Pop’s.” Mikey’s voice cracked, breaking into a downward spiral of strained fluctuation. “That won’t-“ his breath hiccupped as he started to cry freely, wrapping his free arm over Splinter and burying his face into his side.

He wondered if he could wrap himself back in his cocoon.

“There there Orange.” Splinter hummed, patting Mikey gently as he rubbed his one arm. “It will be alright.” His Dad was consoling him, he was trying to help him feel better.
There was no mention of Splinter’s feelings. Not the fear or regret, or anything normal that came with the inevitable.
Only the soft soothing voice of his Dad.

Mikey let out a distraught whine, trying to focus on the arm that was being massaged.
The sound hurt his throat, stuck like a lump in his voice box. It was an accident, he hadn’t meant to make the sound, but hearing his emotion flood through his voice only opened the gates wider.

Mikey hid his face, his body shaking as he started to sob, the heaviness in his chest beginning to radiate outwards despite his efforts. It sent shivers through his body, his muscles tense as he tried to keep his noisy cries inside.

He missed his Dad. He missed his Dad so much his heart ached.
He was directly in front of him, warm, furry and full of experience. But Mikey missed him so much.

The box turtle quivered, squeaking quietly as the tears forced themselves out.

Splinter took his other arm, letting go of the first one to start massaging the second one.

It took a few minutes, but Mikey was able to stop his crying.

It didn’t matter how sad he was, it wouldn’t help Splinter to see him so upset.

“There, see?” Splinter hummed, patting Mikey’s shell. “All better, yes?” And it wasn’t.

Of course it wasn’t.

In no way was it better!

“Yeah.” He lied, calming his breathing. “Thanks Dad.” That was the least he could give him.

“Yes, very good.” Splinter exclaimed, and Mikey glanced up from his tear soaked side to look at his Dad’s face. He was smiling, a genuine smile. “Now, you have anything else you want to speak of, or you want to watch Jupiter Jim save an annoying hairball?” He was happy.

“Nah, I’m good.” Mikey responded, realizing what had just happened. “Let’s watch Jupiter Jim save the cat.” Splinter was happy he could console Mikey in his time of distress.
He was happy that he could comfort his son, at least once more.

“Veeery good.” Splinter nodded sagely, slumping down into his blanket pile, turning the volume back up. He was sending him off with everything he could give him in that moment.

He knew Splinter wasn’t going to stay, and the fact that he was consolidating him because of it struck a chord of emotions.

He ached in so many ways.

If only time were tangible. If only it were tangible, then he would wrap it around his finger and tie it to his soul.

Mikey stayed with Splinter for the whole movie, eventually moving when he could no longer handle it.

He stood up, slowly walking out of the room. His chest felt heavier as he got farther away from his sleeping father. He knew he was asleep, he knew he was still there. Yet with every step, he felt as if he were ending their last goodbye.

In the moment, he could never understand how much he would come to regret this choice, how much he wished he would have stayed.

His soul was crying, and his heart was still.

Notes:

TW: Grief, implication of parental passing, PTSD, limb loss aftermath, phantom pains, sickness and poor health

For those who were reading before the format change, here's the first section of the original chapter 2! For those who started reading after that, don't worry, I promise you're not missing any content. Its all the same stuff, just formatted into smaller chapters ^^

Chapter 10: Dead End: Pt 2

Summary:

Older, firm, yet caring. Harsh, but so passionate. Motor oil, grease, metal shavings, sweat, and so much caffeine. A large, leather covered, gloved hand, ruffling his messy black hair. His voice… Same intonation, deeper sound, wearier tone.

Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, acting uncomfortable. “It never gets better though, does it?” His voice faltered, and in that moment, Casey remembered that Donnie was younger than him.

This wasn’t his Donnie.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Casey Jr
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie

~Casey~

In Donnie’s lab Casey sat ever so patiently as he and Donnie worked together on something special, meant just for Michaelangelo. Before starting, Donnie had confirmed that Mikey was currently residing in Master Splinter’s bedroom, so they’d need not worry about him barging in, and ruining the surprise.

Donnie was sitting at his desk attaching electron covered squares to Casey’s arm as Casey rested his arm against the desk, shoulder already a little tired. The electron patches were sticky, but luckily not too sticky, like tape, otherwise they’d hurt to remove, and possibly even rip out his arm hair. Not exactly preferable.

Casey watched curiously, mask atop his head as he sat still. Donnie applied the last square to his inner arm, leaning down with his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Donnie smoothed it out with his thumb before leaning back and exclaiming. “Beautifully Splendid!” He beamed, glancing at the screen of the machine the squares were attached to. “Now, I need you to clench and unclench your hand.” He instructed Casey, eyes fixated on the screen.

Casey felt a hint of nostalgia, a pang of hurt, and a load of excitement as he nodded, offering Donnie a giddy little smile. To be honest, it was thrilling to work with him (despite it not being ‘again’, as this was a new Donatello). Casey had missed this so badly. Though he loved his Sensei and Master both dearly, neither of them had been techies quite like Uncle Tello had. And it felt so good to finally be back in a lab again. Casey directed his attention to the screen, closing his hand into a fist, then spreading his fingers open again.

They both watched as the waves on the screen changed, rippling and giving new data. Donnie leaned forwards, engrossed with his technology. Humming, he requested. “Okay…. Now I’m going to need you to move each individual finger.” Despite not knowing much about this strange new world, Casey knew exactly what Donnie was doing right here, and what this gadget was for. He knew, because Uncle Tello had done the same tests with him when he was a kid, and Sensei had lost an arm.

Right now, they were looking at the electric currents from muscle movement because Donnie was trying to make myoelectric prostheses. In short, new hands for Mikey.

Casey moved each individual finger with his palm up, then rotated his hand, doing the same motion again. “And Michaelangelo will be able to use this technology to wear new hands?” He asked, just to make sure. Better safe than sorry he supposed.

“Affirmative.” Donnie responded, nodding firmly, an excited little smile still upon his face. He was stimming lightly by rocking his roller chair back and forth as he spoke, tapping the desk with one hand. “His new hands should read the movement and electrical pulses from the muscles in his arms and therefore translate it into movement of the hand!!”

Casey grinned in response, happy to geek out just as Donnie was “That’s pretty clever!! It’s very similar to what my Donatello used to reconstruct an arm for my Sensei.” He nodded sagely, recalling it for a few moments.

What he didn’t expect was for Donnie to pause, a look of excitement flashing across his face before it turned into unsurety. What was that uncertainty for? “Was, was your Donatello much different from me. I know he was older…” He asked, movements halting as he slowed, waiting for an answer.

Casey paused, and then fell silent, eyes growing distant as he allowed himself to recall. Older, firm, yet caring. Harsh, but so passionate. Motor oil, grease, metal shavings, sweat, and so much caffeine. A large, leather covered, gloved hand, ruffling his messy black hair. His voice… Same intonation, deeper sound, wearier tone. “He…”
Casey paused a second, deciding it might be best if he thought before he spoke. It was obvious it was important to Donnie. But what to tell him? He wouldn’t want to lie… “He was… a lot more similar to you, when I was younger. But, uh… as I got older, and as… y’know, we lost family, he sorta lost… his spark… I dunno, I’m sorry.” He shrugged lightly, and with a little start he realized he had given a class act ‘Leo’ response. Down to the overly casual tone while delivering upsetting news, and the shrug when he was unsure. Dang it!

“Oh, I’ll keep that in mind.” Donnie glanced to the side, appearing awkward. Like he wanted to know more but wasn’t sure how to ask. After a moment or two of Donnie staring down at his desk, he cleared his throat. “So, uh…How did my brothers react to the losses?”

Casey’s brows knitted, and he leaned forwards slightly to look at Donnie. “Do you… actually wanna know? Because I’m not sure you do.” His voice was soft, and full of concern. Why would Donnie ask about that? Casey supposed it was in Donnie’s nature to be as curious as possible, but it’s as they say… Curiosity killed the cat. Or the Donatello…

Donnie tipped his head back slightly, making his ‘I’m totally not lying, this is pure honesty right here’ face as he exclaimed. “Whaaat? Why would you think that? Ha!” Casey continued staring at him, and Donnie smiled nervously. “That’s, that’s crazy.” He insisted, then paused, glancing back to Casey, his smile disappearing all together. “Uuh,” He bit his lip momentarily. “You don’t… have to tell me anything… I understand.”

Casey kept silent, watching his reactions, observing him and waiting until he was done with his nervous little spiel. It wouldn’t hurt to share. Just a little bit. And if anyone could handle the truth, it’d be Donatello. Casey inhaled, then exhaled, staring out as he gazed past Donnie, unable to make eye contact. “It… broke their hearts. Each and every time. Raphael was the first to go, then you. Then… then Master Michaelangelo, right at the end… It… it was… hard…” Casey swallowed and looked down. Aw heck. Maybe he was the one who actually couldn’t handle it.

Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, acting uncomfortable. “It never gets better though, does it?” His voice faltered, and in that moment, Casey remembered that Donnie was younger than him. This wasn’t his Donnie. This Donnie was younger, smaller, and lacked the hard cold exterior that his Donnie had formed due to the war. Casey looked up as Donnie continued, listening to him ramble on. “Because, uh, as soon as the pain starts to subside, the um, guilt appears. And the fact that the death doesn’t hurt as much as it used to… is, simply a new type of… hurt…..” Donnie avoided eye contact the entire time he spoke, and his words were filled with an unsure certainty. Like he already knew the answer and simply wanted to verify.

Casey nodded, folding his hands in his lap. “Yeah… pretty much. I think, for some people, it can get easier, once they’ve dealt with it, but, uh… if you don’t know how, then it sorta just… stays.” He shrugged. He wasn’t sure anymore why Donnie was asking about this, or what his purpose in gathering this information was. And he didn’t have anything else to say.

They resided in awkward silence for a few moments, the two of them both feeling slightly uncomfortable. Because, how did one continue after a conversation like this? Continue talking about it? Move on? Pretend the conversation hadn’t even happened? Much to Casey’s relief, Donnie spoke up after a little bit, exclaiming. “Well, segway!” and rolled his chair back, scooping up a pile of blueprints into his arms. “I have the blueprints for Mikey’s new hands.”

Casey, relieved that the awkward silence was gone, snapped a finger, and grinned broadly. “Yup!” he exclaimed, and leaned forwards as Donnie slid the blueprints over to Casey. “We’ll need to work on the metal components for the hands.” Casey pointed out, tapping on the blueprints with a gloved finger.

“Titanium-Aluminum-Vanadium.” Donnie responded, leaning over the blueprints much like Casey was. “Along with silicone for a covering.”

Casey reached over to point at a smaller detail, adding. “We should make it so the silicone is removable, or something. Mikey’s going to want to paint his hands and customize them. If possible, they’ll need to be washable, and very durable. We’ll need to make a mold of some sorts, and keep backup silicone covers, in case he damages his current pair to badly.”

Donnie glanced at Casey, expression a cross between looking impressed, and looking unsettled. “Casey, sometimes I forget that you have known Michaelangelo longer than I have.” He stated.

Casey laughed awkwardly, and all over again, he was reminded that this wasn’t his Donnie. He wasn’t in the base lab, with his Uncle Tello, offering his suggestions. He was the adult now. “Ahaha, yeah, sometimes I forget that too… yeah…” He cleared his throat, because honestly it was hard to keep it straight. He had been the youngest for years. And now the only people older than him, was Master Splinter, and the Baron Draxum. Gosh it was weird.

“Well, yes…” Donnie said after a moment of silence, patting the blueprints. “We should start working.” Casey shook his head very quickly to clear the thoughts from his mind, and offered out his arm where the patches were still on. He didn’t need to think to work. “Right.” Donnie laughed it off, looking just as uncomfortable as Casey felt. “Of course.” He then started to remove the squares, freeing Casey’s arm.

They began to work in silence for a while, and it was a solid ten minutes before Casey piped up. “By the way… if you ever have any more questions about, uh… the future, I can answer them… it, uh, it’ll probably be awkward, but um… yeah… yeah.” He didn’t know if he was making things worse or better by saying that, but he hoped it’d be better. And Donnie hummed in response. “Noted.”

A few minutes later, when they were welding, he spoke over the whirring sound. “I might ask later.” And Casey grinned. “Cool cool.” He responded, giving Donnie a thumbs up before pulling down his mask again so they could continue.

Though he missed being that little kid, straining to see on top of Uncle Tello’s desk, this was nice too. And, maybe for a change, he’d get to parent Donnie, rather than Donnie parent him.

Notes:

TW: Grief, recollection of family death

Chapter 11: Dead End: Pt 3

Summary:

Raph’s grip slackened, and he whispered “No…” eyes blowing wide, and throat tightening up. A sense of horror gripped him. There was no way. There was no way.

In one sentence, Raph’s world shattered.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Raph, Leo, (Splinter)
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey, Donnie, Draxum

“Week 4”

~Raph~

Raph made his way into the kitchen, humming a little tune as he carried the four pizza boxes he had gotten delivered to the alleyway right around one of the subway entrances. Luckily for Raph, most new Yorkers didn’t really question much anymore. Really, they hadn’t before, but since the invasion, no one really questioned anything. Which made it easier for them to get pizza delivery, especially since they had been eating pizza at least twice a week since the invasion. That and leftover food that Draxum had started bringing back from his job just a few days ago.

Balancing the pizzas, Raph made to toss them onto the counter, then paused.

Throw them, throw them, throw them, throw them—

And Raph instead gently set them down, hands shaking ever so slightly with how slow he forced himself to be. This was ok. This was good. He could practice his self-control like this!

Inhaling deeply, Raph cupped a hand around his mouth and bellowed. “Pizza time boys!” And three, two, one…

“Yeah baby! Pizza time!!!” Mikey waltzed into the kitchen, grin on his face as he made his way to one of the lone bar stools. “Thanks Raph!!” Raph pointed a finger gun in Mikey’s direction. “No prob, big man!”

Before Raph or Mikey could grab a slice, Leo ran in quickly, grinning ear to ear, and waving his phone. “Guys!! Guess what?!” He cheered loudly, excited in a very contagious way. Mikey rolled sideways across the counter, his shoulder and cheek squishing against the marble. “Ooh, spill the beans! Spill them all!” He shouted, kicking his feet quickly.

Leo beamed, obviously pleased with Mikey’s reaction and cheered. “April just texted!! Her mom is coming back into town!! She got clearance!!”

“Wait, really?” Mikey sprang up from the counter, running over to Leo. “Show me the text!” He demanded excitedly, nearly knocking over Leo as he used him as something to lean against, reading the text over Leo’s shoulder. He laughed excitedly as he read it, and promptly hugged Leo, hanging off of him like a ragdoll.

Raph grinned widely as they cheered, feeling his spirits lift. April had been so worried about her mom, and rightly so! Raph was glad to hear that Carol O’Neil was doing alright.

Raph pulled open one of the boxes, choosing the pepperoni pizza. This’d be the one that’d be gone the fastest, so he planned on getting a slice while they were all distracted. Just then, Donnie walked into the main area, sauntering over to the bar kitchen while looking down at his tablet, clearly ignoring his siblings as he typed away at his ‘important Donnie tech stuffs’.

“Donnie Donnie Donnie!!” Leo waved his phone in Donnie’s direction, heedless of how he was rattling Mikey around (Though it didn’t seem like Mikey minded at all, with the way he was giggling) attempting to get his attention in the most annoying way possible.

Raph rolled his eyes at them, grabbing a slice of the pineapple, and setting it aside for Leo. Throw it, throw it, throw it—Agh!! What was with today and throwing??

Donnie barely glanced up from his tablet, sitting down at the table. “Yes Leonardo?” He questioned in a somewhat degrading tone. As if his twin were entirely beneath him, which almost made Raph want to roll his eyes again.

Though when Leo cheered loudly. “April’s mom is coming back into town!! She’s ok!!” Donnie perked up, eyes lighting up with excitement. He then whipped out his phone, thumbs moving rapidly as he typed up a message to most likely April.

Raph watched as Donnie was consumed by his phone, and as Leo and Mikey both stared at Leo’s phone, eyes all glued to the screens. With a huff, he exclaimed “Both of ya get off yer phones!! No more of that!!” He exclaimed, making movements towards them as if he wanted to snatch them both up.

Donnie gasped dramatically, hand clutched to his chest, withdrawing as he pulled his phone away. “Hisssssssss, hisss!” He exclaimed, waving a foot at Raph like some feral autistic thing.

Raph stuck out his bottom jaw, chuffing once. “Hiss ta you too, Dee, now put it away.” Donnie squinted, scooting onto a different chair, slowly raising his tablet up and looking at it. Like a cat when you tell it not to knock something down, looking up once to give him a cheeky side eye.

Mikey dropped off of Leo, approaching him with a sigh. “C’mon Donnie.” He encouraged, eyes glinting mischievously as he watched Leo sneak behind Donnie, reaching up and over his head to grasp at his tablet. Both Leo and Mikey roared with laughter when Donnie caught on, struggling and gasping indignantly. “No!! Not my genius built tech!! You’re getting your greasy fingerprints all over my trademarked property!!” He shouted, flailing so much that he fell off his stool, and on top of Leo who laughed rowdily, staggering backwards, and falling to the floor. And of course, Mikey being Mikey decided it was time to tackle both of them, attempting to take the tablet as well.

Raph rolled his eyes, and snapped up the last bite of his pizza, licking off his fingers. “Aw, ya boys look so lonely on the floor like that!” He teased, approaching them, wiping his fingers against his belt. “Maybe Raph should jus’… plop down on top of ya?”

The shrieks of panic and laughter that ensued were enough to make Raph start laughing to himself. “Ah, no wait!” Donnie shrieked, fighting against Leo and Mikey, glancing at Raph.
Mikey wrapped himself around Donnie’s arm, grinning evilly. “Get him Raph!”

Leo began scrabbling at the floor, shouting “Nooo!! Let me go!! ¡¡Juro que voy a borrar los archivos guardados de alguien!” He laughed wildly, shouting in Spanish, which of course, Raph couldn’t understand at all. With an evil sort of laugh, that type of laugh only eldest siblings and fathers have, Raph quite literally plopped forwards onto them, squishing them all.

He heard the collective sound of “Ough!!” from the smaller turtles beneath him, and Mikey’s insane cackling. It sounded like he was getting a cramp with how he was gasping and giggling. “Sandwich!!” Raph shouted, and wrapped his arms around them, squishing them even further, eliciting another “Oof” out of them.

Donnie chuckled, kicking his feet. “Um, haha, no, gross, physical contact, get it away from me.” He said in his thickly sarcastic, monotonies voice, and Raph exclaimed loudly “No!” wrapping his arms around his brothers and sitting up, holding them hostage in his grip. Then quickly amended, loosening his grip ever so slightly, which Leo took advantage of, and pulled his arms free. “Unless ya being serious.” Raph’s voice lilted up a notch, asking if Donnie was actually being serious.

“Well,” Donnie began, shifting a little, and pushing at Leo as he poked at him. “Why would I not be serious? Did it sound sarcastic, because it wasn’t.” He said, sounding a little sarcastic, though he didn’t seem to dislike the hug.

“Well in that case!!” Raph exclaimed, hefting them all up, standing tall, brothers in his arms, both Leo and Mikey shrieking as they stood up, like a bunch of little kids. “It’s been a while since we all just ate pizza AND watched somethin’.” He reasoned, then exclaimed “Turtle pile!!” Twisting at the torso to spin them all back and forth.

“Whoo, turtle pile!” Mikey threw his arms in the air, cheering like he had just won the last basketball game as his legs swung back and forth. “Raphala.” Donnie piped up, sounding somewhat bored. “I am currently wearing a hoodie.” He stated, and Raph wasn’t really sure what his point was. He had been wearing hoodies since the invasion. Why was it relevant?

He pushed away his confusion when Donnie reached out, making grabby hands at the pizza box. So Raph lent forwards, making it easier for Donnie to carefully reached out with a hand, gripping the pizza box.

As the projector was currently in Splinter’s room, it made sense to bring the pizza. Pops would probably like a slice or two. It took a bit to get to Splinter’s room, since it was on a different level, and by the time they made it, all three of the littles were chilling. Raph liked it when they let him carry them around. It was like carrying stuffed animals, but honestly better.

Raph knocked with his foot, hitting the door with the knuckle of his biggest toe. “Dad!!” He called out “Helloooooo!! Can we come in?”

A few moments passed, then Draxum slid the door open. He faltered, giving them all a weird look which Raph assumed was because he was carrying everyone like ragdolls. Collectively, they all stared at him expectantly as he began, awkwardly clearing his throat. “Ahherm. Boys.” He started out meaningfully, pausing for a few seconds before continuing. “After a thorough and thoughtful examination—“ Mikey cut him off, waving a hand and nearly knocking the pizza box out of Donnie’s hold. “Why are you using the big words!” He asked loudly.

Draxum glared at him before continuing. “I have confirmed that Lou Jitsu’s health is… diminishing.” He intertwined his fingers, and in one sentence, Raph’s world shattered. “He is no longer within a range where he can heal, and we can expect his passing within the next few hours, if not minutes” He avoided eye contact towards the end, speaking softly.

Raph’s grip slackened, and he whispered “No…” eyes blowing wide, and throat tightening up. A sense of horror gripped him. There was no way. There was no way.
Leo roughly pushed against Raph, thrashing till he got out, dropping to the floor and shoving past Draxum. “Dad??” He called out, on the verge of tears, running into the room, voice cracking as he whimpered. Mikey scrambled after Leo, crying out “Pop’s!”

Donnie slipped out of Raph’s hold, allowing the pizza box to fall to the ground with a gentle thump, eyes going distant as he watched both Leo and Mikey.

Draxum looked regretful, stepping to the side to get Raph’s attention. “I apologize. I, I did all I could…” and Raph stared as if disbelieving, then silently moved past Draxum, slipping into the room, Draxum following behind.

This didn’t feel real. This didn’t feel real at all. Mikey was already kneeling by Splinter’s side, a few tears sliding down his cheeks, while Leo was draped across Splinter, hugging him, face pressed against the side of his face. Splinter was having almost no reaction, looking to be in a deep and peaceful sleep. And the expression on Leo’s face… This couldn’t be real.

Mikey’s lip quivered, but he wasn’t sobbing, with only the occasional tear sliding down his face. “Hey Pop’s.” His breath hitched, voice cracking and breaking as he choked out. “Y-you probably ca-can’t hear me r-right now, but I, I don’t actually kn-know how to say good-goodbye.” His voice wobbled, taking on a higher pitch. He lay against the bed, placing his head against Splinter’s side, inhaling deep, chest shuddering with a painful sob-ridden breath. And Raph couldn’t take it.

He staggered back, legs feeling like they were dissolving beneath him, a mess of jelly and crumbled dust. And nearly stepped onto Donnie.
Donnie who was still standing in the same spot he had been, one hand covering his snout, the other wrapped around his midsection. He had his eyes closed, a steady and smooth stream of silent tears traveled down his face.

And Raph moved on auto pilot. Because what else was he supposed to do? Looking back and forth between Donnie and the bed, he headed towards Donnie, pulling him into a hug, slowly sinking to the floor to cradle him, tears streaming down his own cheeks. Yet no sobs came. Just numb tears.

Donnie curled into Raph, his breath hitching as the collar of his hoodie acquired small dark circles of tears, and the sound of Donnie’s pained squeaking and hitching gasps was almost enough to break Raph right then and there. Please stop please stop, it hurt, it hurt, his heart hurt so bad.

Raph attempted to inhale deeply to calm himself, and instead nearly choked on his own throat as it tightened up, restricting his oxygen intake, and his voice. From in the room, Leo had begun gently shaking Splinter, begging. “D-Dad, w-wake up, wake up, please, wake u-up!!” His tone was growing in volume with each word, voice high and shrill.

Draxum stepped up to Leo. “Calm yourself boy.” He ordered. “You need to keep yourself under control.” Leo turned on him, shoving him away, shouting as he rose to his feet. “Y-you!!! Y-you sh-should have said s-something s-sooner!! You sh-should ha-have—sh-should ha-ave-have—“ he hiccupped, breath catching in his throat, as he cried uncontrollably, and Raph felt as Donnie gripped onto his wrist so tightly, that his nails dug into his skin.

“Leonardo.” Draxum asserted. “By the time I discovered that his sleep was abnormal, you were already at the door.” And Leo shouted back, voice full of raw desperation. “Y-you c-couldn’t h-have noticed earlier? You-you couldn’t have, d-done s-something??”

Draxum never got the chance to reply, as Mikey stood up abruptly. “Stop it!” He exclaimed. “Splinter is on his death bed and you two are fighting!”

Leo shouted back, loud, and full of a desperate screaming grief Raph hadn’t ever heard from him before. “H-he was m-monitoring h-his health, h-he should have s-seen this!!! B-but he d-didn’t, a-and— and- I-i never got to s-say g-goodbye!!” His voice broke off into a broken-hearted wail, as he clutched at his chest, sinking to the ground, curling up tightly.

Donnie was now openly wailing, face pressed right up against Raph’s plastron, broken cries vibrating his shell. And Raph hardly processed it over how loudly the voices in his head were screaming. It felt like he was drowning, nothing to grab onto, nothing to keep afloat to. Donnie in his grip was like a rock, pulling him deeper, while Leo’s keening was like the storm atop the ocean, keeping Raph deep under. Even Mikey, the bright little lighthouse, was too dark to see.

“Leo.” Mikey seemed a little surprised, and even scared as he followed Leo down, gently grabbing his hand, and pulling him closer. “Dad’s not gone yet. There’s still a chance he might wake up again. Or-or that he can still hear us.” His voice shook, and as he spoke, he stared at Splinter, like he just might wake up. Like if he could just be delusional enough, it’d work.

“Y-you don’t kn-know that!!” Leo cried out, hysterically, limp in Mikey’s hug, rubbing away tears harsher than need be. Mikey’s own tears had stopped by now, presumably from the shock of it all, and he kept staring in the direction of Splinter’s bed.

“I apologize.” Draxum said again. “I have been back and forth from my job. I genuinely apologize if I did not catch something soon enough.”

Leo leaned forwards, hugging Mikey tightly, whimpering in a small voice. “I-I didn’t say g-goodbye, I d-didn’t—I didn’t s-say g-goodb-bye—“ Mikey didn’t respond, his own voice choking up. Instead, he gave Leo an extra tight squeeze, shaking slightly.

And Raph stayed outside the room, clutching onto Donnie like a lifeline, while Mikey was hugging Leo, drowning in the screams of his mind, feeling like his life was over all over again.

Amidst all the chaos, Splinter didn’t even stir.

Notes:

TW: Intrusive thoughts, death of a parent, intense grief, PTSD, extreme emotional turbulence

Chapter 12: Dead End: Pt 4

Summary:

Just two words from Raph. That’s all he wrote. That’s all the messages said.

But despite how simple the message had been, it still felt like the end of the world all over again.

She wanted to be able to comfort him, to say that everything was going to turn out alright. But…
She just couldn’t make herself lie.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: April, Casey Jr, Leo, Raph
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey, Donnie, Todd

~April~

April’s world had been shaken many times before. The rug had been ripped out from beneath her feet at least a hundred times in the past, and she had stumbled around as her world earth-quaked around her. But nothing had been quite as earth shattering as that one text she received at three in the morning.

Just two words from Raph. Probably the only one of the four who could actually force themselves to type it down. But despite how simple the message had been, it still felt like the end of the world all over again.

“Pop’s died”

That’s all he wrote. That’s all the messages said. April had spent a good hour and a half obsessively texting him over and over and over, shouting swears at her phone, eyes tearing up, all while shooing away her mom and Casey. Because what did that even mean? Why would he send that?!

It wasn’t until Donnie sent her a full four to five paragraphs long text explaining the situation that she finally understood.

Splinter had slipped away in his sleep, mere hours before. It had been sudden, and it had been peaceful for the old rat man.

But it was anything but peaceful for April.

The rest of that night was spent in her mom’s arms, as she had sobbed her heart out, feeling as if her world had ended all over again. Because for the second time in her life, she had lost a father.

Not more than a few days later, April, her brothers, and Casey, were standing in the forest just outside of Todd’s puppy emporium. Todd had been kind enough to let them bury their father there, as it was such short notice, and April thought, as far as burial sites could go, this was a really lovely place. Framed by forestry, just outside of the emporium, and further into the woods. Donnie, (as of course Donnie had done this, because it was just so him) had quickly fashioned a titanium tombstone to inlay in the ground to immortalize the location.

The day itself was reminiscent of the day they almost lost Splinter to the Shredder. The sun was setting, it was beautiful outside, and emotions were running high. They were even at Todd’s just like the last time.
The only difference was, before, Splinter was alive. Now, he wasn’t. It almost didn’t feel real.

Had he not been attacked by the Sister Krang during the invasion, he would have lived a few more years at least. ‘What ifs’, and ‘could haves’ plagued April’s mind, like incessant whispering flies.

They had already said their final goodbyes, and buried Splinter, and were now standing at the grave, paying their respects. And April thought to herself, what an utter shame this was. To have everything be falling so well into place, to have all the building blocks be built back up, only to have their entire foundation pulled out from beneath them. And to be honest, April was scared. Scared for her family, and what would happen. Because, what would happen now that Splinter was dead?
The tension within the group had grown over the last few days, and though April hadn’t been there, she knew with a certainty there had been many a fight in the lair. Just the one or two she had heard via phone call had been horrible.

The change was very obvious in her brothers as well. While April knew she had changed suddenly, it was scary seeing how differently they were all acting. Mikey had gone quiet, while Donnie had become timid. Raph had gotten blunt and stern, with none of his usual warmth, and Leo had become the scariest, sleepless wildcard April had ever seen. All of them were all wrong.

Todd came paddling over the path, making his way over to the turtles, kind gaze connecting with Mikey and Donnie, as Mikey was practically Velcroed to Donnie’s side.

“Hi friends!” Todd greeted, voice a hint too chipper, yet oh so kind and understanding. “I made dinner if you all need food in your tummies.” He announced, and waved an incredibly short arm in the direction of his trailer.

April caught as Leo glanced to the side, making a subtle face at him, like a hint of disgust, which April was honestly appalled by! Approaching Todd, and reaching to grasp his hand, April expressed her gratitude. “Thank you. We’re really grateful for all of this.” Because if they weren’t going to do it, she would.

“Aaww.” Todd turned his face away bashfully, holding her hand back in a form of support. “It’s the least I could do for you guys.”

With a gentle smile in Todd’s direction (that she knew looked a hint forced, but that was ok) April waved for her brothers, calling out. “C’mon fam, let’s head inside for now. It’s getting dark.” She didn’t want any of them to be alone, especially in the dark.

Leo immediately sat down by the grave. “I’m good. Go do whatever you want.” And April felt a sudden flair of agitation directed towards him, smile tightening. Todd, bless his soul, looked mildly confused. “Uh, well, would you like me to bring out a plate?” He asked in that same kind tone. “Listen man, I don’t care, ok?” Leo shot back, keeping his eyes downcast, scowling harshly at the compacted dirt of their shared father’s grave, and April watched as Donnie and Mikey shared surprised side glances with one another over Leo’s reaction.

Todd seemed taken aback. “Oh, well in that case, I will be back at my house.” He sniffed, a hint dramatically. “Eating dinner.” Genuinely hurt that Leo was mad at him.

Raph scowled and approached Leo, and it scared April to see how hard he was digging his nails into his palms. Like he was just holding himself back from punching Leo by a hairsbreadth. “Don’t be like that.” He admonished him, voice tight, and strained. “Ya not gonna pout out here while we eat. C’mon, let’s go inside.”

And Leo, with his newfound horrendous attitude, kept his gaze downwards, and sassed. “Yeah no.” Mikey drew his head back, clearly confused, and a hint scared. He looked worried that a fight would start. April felt the same. “What do you mean, no? You have to eat food eventually.” He glanced back and forth from Leo and Todd’s retreating back. “And Todd made us food!” He exclaimed, waving a hand in Todd’s direction. Leo just huffed at him. “Leo…” April cut in, tone borderline warning. There was wanting to be alone to process, and then there was what Leo was doing. And April just KNEW he hadn’t eaten all day!

“Wow, somebody’s cranky.” Donnie mumbled, which didn’t help the situation. When April threw him an annoyed look, Donnie simply shrugged, silently saying ‘well what can you do?’ with his action.

Mikey harrumphed, getting just as fed up. In fact, everyone was fed up. “You need to eat food, and you need to get a hold of yourself. We all know you’re sad about Splinter, but Todd is trying to help us out.” His eyes were slightly glossy as he argued, the orange turtle clearly upset.

Leo growled, angrily, hissing in the back of his throat before standing up, and snapping. “Fine.” Storming past them, and shoving at Donnie, who clicked back at him, snout wrinkled in clear displeasure.

Casey made a face behind his back, glancing over to April. The group watched awkwardly as Leo left, none of them wanting to walk next to him, all opting to wait until he got closer to Todd to follow.

And out of the corner of her eye, April caught as Mikey made his way over to Raph, bumping into him deliberately and blinking away tears. Raph exhaled quietly, reaching to pat Mikey’s shoulder, before moving forwards. And April inhaled, and exhaled, willing her eyes to stay dry. Not now. She could crack later.

Together, the family headed to Todd’s trailer, gathering around where Todd was setting out dinner.

Upon approaching the trailer, they saw Leo helping set the table, still appearing sour, but helping Todd quietly nonetheless.

Todd looked up as they approached. “Oh, hey guys.” He gestured towards his trailer. “I have broccoli soup and mac-n-cheese still inside.” He told them. “And of course, lemonade.”
There was still a bit of tension from the interaction moments before, though it was a little better now that Leo was being somewhat cooperative.

Casey scooted closer to ask, in his ever so awkward way “What are the ingredients in the food?” curiosity and wariness lining his question.

Todd answered almost immediately, not picking up Casey’s hesitance. “The mac-n-cheese has cheese in it of course, cream cheese, butter, and seasoning. The broccoli soup has broccoli, cream, celery, some carrots, and other yummy things.” He giggled. “And the lemonade is a secret.”

Casey nodded and replied. “Ah. Uh, thanks.” Then moved away to help with the rest of the setting up, and April knew immediately he wasn’t going to drink any.

The group finished setting up the camping table, sitting down to eat.
Though the Puppy emporium was already fenced off, Todd’s trailer had a smaller gated fence around it to keep all of the dogs out while they were eating. A necessary evil.

Everyone began to dish up their plates, all small portions, since no one was really hungry. Because, how could they be?

The table was mostly silent throughout the dinner, and much to April’s relief, the tension had slowly diminished.

When Todd went around, offering lemonade, Casey declined, saying “I uh… don’t drink anything secret.” Todd chuckled in return, shaking his head slightly. “Eh he he, you’re funny.” And April got the feeling he didn’t quite understand what Casey was saying

Mikey shook his head, getting Todd’s and Casey’s attention. “Casey, the lemonade is secret because Todd doesn’t want to give up his ‘signature recipe’.” He said with a flourish, and finger quotes. “The secret ingredient is probably an herb or something, you should drink it, it’s safe.” He promised, and Donnie piped up, adding. “I can, uh, test it for… poison….” He said with a slow cool tone

Casey thought for a few moments, then asked Mikey. “You’re sure it’s safe?” and Mikey nodded. “I love Todd’s lemonade, you should try it.”

Eventually, Casey nodded, and held up his glass to Todd, which in return, Todd beamed happily and went around to pour lemonade for each person, he handed Mikey a mug to hold his lemonade, as it was more accommodating for his lack of hands. “This one’s for you.” Todd hummed, setting it in front of Mikey, who gasped happily. It was easier for him to control the cup when it had a handle on it. He stood up, kissing Todd on the forehead. “You’re the best Todd.” He thanked him, affectionate, and grateful that their longtime friend was kind enough to think of this.

The group ate in silence for a while, till April nudged Casey. He needed to bring this up now. Before they finished dinner. Before someone else caused an issue. Before Casey would chicken out.

Casey cleared his throat, and everyone turned their gaze towards him. “Oh right. So, um… since April’s mom is back in town, I was… planning on moving in with her.”

There was a beat of silence. “What!” Mikey exclaimed, breaking the silence. “But we’ll miss you!” He cried out.

“Yeah, but, I dunno, April’s mom offered me a place to work, and a place to learn…” he shrugged, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. “She can teach me to be human.” Donnie spit soup out of his nose, looking up at Casey in surprise while rubbing his snout. “And I am unable to teach you how to be human?”

Casey went to protest “No no, that’s not—“ and Leo cut him off “You sure? Because it really sounds like it. But, hey, I get it!! Can’t learn to be human from mutants, right?” He laughed louder than necessary, and Casey’s cheeks flushed.

And April argued right back for Casey’s sake, telling Leo. “Oh quiet. That ain’t what he means, and you know it!!”

And it really wasn’t what he meant. April knew it, because Casey had told her two days after Splinter had passed. He couldn’t do this all over again. He couldn’t be around another Leo who was consumed by grief. It was too overwhelming for him to deal with. And honestly, April could see why.

Todd raised a hand. “Um, guys, we all love you and you’re great, but…” He regretfully looked out at the four turtles and finished his sentence. “Casey should learn how to be human, from a human.”

Donnie looked insulted, frowning deeply at the capybara mutant. “I can be as successful and smart and educated and socially adept as any human.”

Leo made a small gesture towards Donnie, voice shrill and argumentative. “See? He could, if he wanted, but no, you don’t want this Donnie, do you?” Leo’s smile twitched into a smirk, wild and sharp. “You don’t want this Donnie, or this Raph, or this Mikey. You certainly didn’t think I was cut out to be a leader.”

Casey stood up quickly, his chair clattering back “That’s not true!!” He snapped, quickly losing his composure, face red.

Leo’s words were kind of harsh, and Mikey shrank in his seat, his eyes wide as he watched the fight unfold. Donnie glanced between Casey and Leo, confusion and hurt on his face, and Todd raised a finger to interject, but never got any words out.

“LEO!!” April roared, banging her fist against the table, voice tinged with fury as she continued her rant, finally fed up. He could cry about it for all she cared, because at least that’d be nicer than what he was doing right now!! “What is wrong with you?! Casey hasn’t done anything wrong!! Just because you’re upset that your only parent is Draxum—“ and Leo hissed “Wrong. He bailed too!”

Mikey gasped. “Barry didn’t bail on us!” He protested, voice cracking, and Donnie sighed, adding on. “He is ghosting all of us though.” Mikey glared at Donnie. “He’s not ghosting us, he probably lost his phone. He cares about us!” Mikey argued. “He wouldn’t do that.” He asserted.

“No he doesn’t!!” Leo snapped, raising his volume to cut over Mikey. “If he cared, he’d be here!!” He jabbed a finger down at the table. “Right now!! At our father’s funeral!!!”

April faltered, and Mikey stammered out, “W-Well, maybe you never cared about Draxum.” He stood up abruptly, eyes shining with tears. “Maybe you never cared about Splinter. Maybe you only cared about how little you cared about yourself!” He shouted, turning around and walking away from the scene, and April knew immediately that he would regret that later.

Leo sputtered, then roared. “HOW DARE YOU!!” moving as if to lunge over the table, which he would have had Raph not grabbed him by the arm, and hauled him back. Leo hissed at him, smacking his hand away in return. “Hands off!” He snarled, markings lighting up.

Raph growled, scowling deeply at his younger brother. “Nuh-uh, you’re gonna go do somethin’ stupid, aren’t ya? I ain’t letting you do that.”

Leo rolled his eyes, and sneered “Doesn’t matter. You’re not leader, are you? I am, and I’m leaving!” He ripped his arm away from Raph, snapping in Casey’s direction. “And you’re not welcome in the lair anymore. I see you in there, and I’ll send you into a dumpster.”

“Don’t you dare—” April shouted, rushing around the table. With a blue flash, Leo dropped through the floor, vanishing into a blue portal.

There was a moment of stunned silence, the wind blowing through the trees loudly,

Donnie stood up suddenly, abandoning his picked at meal. “I uh, will be in the turtle tank.”

They watched as Donnie walked away, shoulders stiff, and head held high.

Casey put his head in his hands, and April began raging. “What is wrong with him?! He has no right!! He can’t just— augh!!! Leo!!” She pulled out her phone, and called him, making an even angrier sound when he didn’t pick up. “Idiot.” She growled, resisting the urge to just chuck her phone at the ground. She didn’t even know where he had teleported to!!

Todd piped up, raising a finger hesitantly. “You guys are welcome to stay as long as you want. Or you can go, feel free to take food with you.”

Raph slowly sat down, expression blank, yet eyes full of hurt. “We’ll jus’… stay here a lil’ bit if ya don’t mind.” He mumbled, staring at his hand, as if surprised that it was empty. “Oh no! Not at all.” Todd assured, giving them all a supportive smile.

Which, this was all fine and dandy, and April really did appreciate Todd, but at the moment she was to pissed to properly thank him this time. Growling angrily, she pocketed her phone, huffing. “The idiot’s not answering. I’m going to go make sure Mikey’s alright.”

When all she got was a nod or two, she wasted no time in stalking off, inhaling deeply and exhaling as she walked. Don’t break down, don’t cry, you can do that later.

Heading around the tank, April paused to lean her back against the cold metal surface, taking a moment to close her eyes, and crease her brow. She couldn’t handle this. She missed Splinter. It felt like everything was falling apart, piece by piece, and she just didn’t have enough hands to catch all the shards.

Logically, April knew it wasn’t helpful for her to yell at anyone, especially Leo. But she didn’t know how else to deal with this. Because if she wasn’t snapping and yelling, she’d be crying, which in her opinion was worse.

Lifting her phone, she pulled up her text thread with Donnie, texting him. “Did you find Lee?” receiving a text back quickly. “Affirmative. Leo is pacing in Papa’s room, in the lair. He seems fine, according to my vitals tracker.” And April sighed in relief.

Maybe later, she’d try and talk with Leo, when both of their tempers had simmered down. See if she could reason with him.

Liking the text Donnie sent her, watching as a little thumbs-up appeared above the bubble, April pocketed her phone again, scanning the park for Mikey. He was all the way at the edge, huddled against the fence, and surrounded by at least twenty puppies and dogs alike.

Sighing gently, April approached him carefully, stepping around the numerous dogs and puppies as she got closer, not wanting to either step on someone, or trip and get stepped on. “Mikey?”

“Hey April.” Mikey responded, smushing his face into the husky he was hugging, letting his body get shoved back and forth by the three beagle puppies who wanted his equal attention.

April made her way around, until she was able to sit down next to Mikey, and with any of her other brothers, this would have been the part where they sat in silence. Not with Mikey though. Almost immediately, Mikey glanced at April, letting out an upset giggle when the husky tried to lick his face. “I don’t know if Leo deserved that.” He admitted, tipping to lean against her shoulder. “I want him to have deserved that. But I don’t know….Maybe he’s right?” He sighed deeply, rubbing a forearm across his face to get rid of the tears. “It’s just… E-everyone, is-is leaving.” And April bit her lip, worry washing over her as Mikey’s breath hitched, the tears flowing freely now. “P-pop’s is g-gone, and Casey’s leaving, an-and Barry won’t respo-ond to any of my calls.”

April opened her mouth to respond, then went quiet. Mikey took that opportunity to curl into a ball, choking out in a whisper. “I haven’t talked t-to him since he fought w-with Leo.” And oh gosh, he sounded guilty. After a while, she sighed, explaining gently, “I’m sorry. This is kinda my fault. I told Casey to tell you all. Like, ripping off a band-aid…”

Mikey shook his head, protesting. “C-Casey should go. He sh-should start a life. I’m j-just sad about it be-because of everything else.” and April didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to be able to comfort him, to say that everything was going to turn out alright. But…
She just couldn’t make herself lie.

One of the dogs tried jumping up on April’s knees, snuffling at her, begging to be held. April stooped down, and scooped up the dog, petting and hugging it. “Y-yeah…”

Mikey loosened up just enough to let one of the beagles jump on his lap. “I don’t know why Leo a-and Donnie decided to fight right af-after Splinter’s funeral.” Clearly so disappointed in his family, clearly feeling stranded in an ocean of emotions.

“I don’t know Mikey…” April admitted, working hard to not let her voice crack. “I don’t know…”

Notes:

TW: Burial and funeral of a loved one, grief, family tension, blaming, arguing

Chapter 13: Dead End: Pt 5

Summary:

He lay still for a few moments, staring into the distance.
Splinter was sleeping in his train car. Sleeping….

He wished he had known his family would end with Splinter’s death.

Mikey almost wished he was sleeping.
Sleeping… It was only sleep..

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo, Raph
TheInkypawPrint: Mikey, Donnie

“1 Month Later”

~Mikey~

Mikey kicked his feet against the wall, swinging his hammock back and forth.
It was both soothing and distracting.

It was late, and his wrists were burning. They felt tingly and hot, similar to his nimpo but with a twist of electricity.

He whimpered as a knot of emotion started to unwind from his tight heart.

He hadn’t been ready to say goodbye to Splinter, in fact he almost didn’t believe his Dad was gone.
He wanted to think that he was sleeping in his train car like the rest of the family, that Mikey could go find him and Splinter would massage his wrists again. But he knew if he walked over there, the train car would be empty.

He shuddered, gripping the cold wall with his toes and creating little warm pockets.

They had put his Dad’s body in the ground. He had looked like he was asleep. It felt like someone had taken his Dad away while he was still alive. It felt like Mikey could just dig the grave back up and Splinter would climb out of it perfectly alive.

It was an odd thought. It was so so fake.

Mikey chuckled, laughing at how ridiculous he could be sometimes, his laugh bubbling through his slowly growing sobs.

Mikey had left Splinter that day after he fell asleep. He had walked out of the train car, and he could have stayed. But he had walked out after Splinter fell asleep, and he had never woken up.
He was practically still sleeping.

Mikey curled up, sniffling messily through the barrage of tears.

He cried until his face felt tired, and the tears had soaked into a cold wet patch on his hammock.

He lay still for a few moments, staring into the distance.

Splinter was sleeping in his train car. Sleeping….

He sighed, frantically wiping away his already dried tear tracts. If he couldn’t’ sleep, he might as well check on his brothers.
Maybe Leo, he wasn’t sure the others wanted to be bothered. Draxum sure hadn’t, he had just left them, randomly.
Mikey didn’t believe that either. What kind of mental point had he reached when he couldn’t even believe a reality that was directly in front of his face.

No! He had a good cry. He did it every night, and once he was done, he needed to focus on something else. He needed to check on Leo.
It was dark, as usual, except for the occasional flickering of the projector that usually shone through the subway.

Sleeping. Just sleeping…

He made his way over to Leo’s train car, eyeing the metal grate that Donnie had temporarily placed over the hole in Leo’s wall, its shiny exterior glinting off the small bit of light that managed to survive under the subway. “Leo?” He asked, using his elbow to knock on the door, a jolt of pain gripping his forearm when he made contact with his elbow.

That. Ow. He needed to be more careful with his arms.

“Hmm?” Leo hummed; voice muffled. He didn’t sound tired or half-asleep at all, he sounded very much awake and slightly distracted.

“Can I come in?” Mikey asked, tempted to walk inside without asking. He wanted to get out of the main area. He wanted to leave the dark behind so he could stop thinking about the projector.

Maybe he could turn it on and just leave it running so it looked like someone was watching it.

He couldn’t walk over there.

“Hmm..” was the only response Mikey got. A disinterested, low hum.

Leo had been acting oddly since Splinter’s death. He was ignoring everyone and pretending he didn’t care about them. It was worse than before the invasion, and Mikey wasn’t going to have any of it.
Mikey tapped his foot against the floor, rolling his eyes and shoving his way into Leo’s train car. “Excuse me!” He was hit with a subtle light as soon as he entered the train car, his eyes squinting against his will.

Leo was sitting on the edge of his bed, face illuminated by his phone, which is what made the extra light. Quite frankly, he looked horrible.
Despite it having been a month, Leo seemed to be getting worse each day, insomnia the worst it had ever been. He probably needed a good cry as well, but Mikey hadn’t seen him cry once since the funeral. Since Draxum told them the news actually.

Sleeping… only sleeping…

Currently, Leo was hunched over, the telltale flickering of the light showing Mikey that he was scrolling mindlessly on his phone. His eyes looked glazed over, and Mikey was pretty sure he wasn’t registering what he was looking at.

Mikey was appalled. Out of all the things he could be doing, he picked the most detrimental version he could. It was almost as if Leo wanted to feel bad. “What!” He hurried over to Leo. “This is the last thing you should be doing!” If he still had his hands, he would have snatched the phone right out of Leo’s grip.

Leo shrugged, glancing up at Mikey, the light hitting his eyes at an odd angle. His expression was one of boredom and exhaustion. His eyes flicked back to his phone, barely acknowledging Mikey. “Couldn’t sleep.” He mumbled; voice raggedy.

Mikey walked up to Leo. “Staring at your phone isn't going to help.” He plopped onto the bed next to Leo. “Just take melatonin or something.” At this point, he had already recommended multiple tricks to Leo to help him sleep, but Leo had refused all of them.

Leo glanced up again, actually making eye contact this time. “That doesn’t help either. Makes my dreams to vivid.” Nothing helped anymore.

Mikey squinted. “And scrolling doesn't?” He tipped over, tossing his arms in the air and laying across Leo’s lap, ignoring the pain he felt after moving.

“I…” Leo fell silent, and instead set his phone down, leaning forwards, bending in half to give Mikey a halfhearted hug. Or he was just trying to squish him.

It was hard to tell lately whether Leo actually enjoyed his company anymore.
He felt a little lonely again.
He would still hunt down Leo though. He could pretend that Leo enjoyed his company, whether he did or not.

Mikey stretched out his arms, wrapping them around Leo’s shell and trapping Leo in a hug. He had made a good point. He wanted Leo to think about it.
“If you don't know why you’re doing it, then stop. Duh!” He said lightheartedly, reinforcing his point.

“You do it to.” Leo accused, “I caught you doomscrolling just two days ago!”

Mikey scoffed in defense. “I doomscroll because I can control my phone with my nose.” he defended. “I can't hold a remote with my nose.” He didn’t want to watch Tv in the projector room.

It still felt like Splinter was sleeping.

Leo sighed loudly and dramatically. “Uugghhh stop being right!” He complained.

Mikey hummed. “Uuuummm, no.” He said with a cheeky smile, being just as loud in Leo’s ear as Leo had been loud in his.

“Uhhh, yes.” Leo retorted, and Mikey could hear the smile in his tone. Maybe Leo did enjoy his company still.

“Okay then.” Mikey curled his toes, and pressed his aching wrists into Leo’s hard shell. “You should watch dumb memes to fall asleep, so that you can have weird dreams and be cranky and disturbed when you wake up.” He said sweetly and sarcastically.
It was true. He just needed Leo to take him seriously.

Leo lightly smacked the top of Mikey’s head, then teased. “Is that why you’re so horrible in the mornings?”

He was horrible in the mornings? Mikey liked to think that he was a fairly agreeable person in the mornings.
Maybe he wasn’t.

“Aaacckkkttuuuwwwuuuulllllyyyy….” Mikey began, interrupting his own thought process. “That’s because my soul doesn’t want to leave my brain.” He said in complete seriousness.

There was nothing quite so... fulfilling, about living in his dreams for a few hours. They left him feeling unreal, and they were full of emotions. Most of them sad, but at least he had a change of pace every once in a while.

At least he could leave his dreams when they got too sad, and he could try again each night until he found a happy one.

Leo grabbed Mikey’s face and squished it together. The pressure felt comforting and warm. “Uh-huh, sure. Hey, are you hungry? I’m hungry.” Food would be better than bed-rotting.

Mikey nodded, his face still squashed by Leo’s hands.

Leo let him go, and waved his hands at him, shooing him off. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Mikey jumped up off the bed, walking backwards towards the door, immediately nagging Leo. “Hurry up then.” He said with a laugh in his tone. He did not feel like laughing.

“Yeah yeah.” Leo huffed, and pushed himself off the bed, nearly falling forwards, catching himself while awkwardly stumbling. He had been losing his balance more often lately, and it was just another thing Mikey couldn’t help with.

“Head rush?” Mikey asked, turning mid step and glancing over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

“Yeah sure.” Leo agreed. He sounded like he hardly heard or hardly cared.

Mikey paused. “Yeah sure.” He mocked turning around. “Are you okay?” He didn’t want an answer right now. He couldn’t handle an answer right now, he just wanted Leo to think he could talk to him so that Leo would talk to him later.
That was probably mean of him.

Poison was always a part of the river nowadays.

“Just peachy,” Leo replied, rubbing an eye as he walked past Mikey, patting him on the back. “Speaking of peachy, do we have any peaches left?” Yeah, that was the answer he expected.

Mikey hummed, watching Leo closely. He had been having seizures since the invasion, and any type of out of sorts behavior was something Mikey wanted to pay attention to. That was all of Leo’s behavior lately.
“I don’t know.”

“Well, I’m gonna go check.” He hummed in reply, opening a portal with his hands, a technique he had begun practicing as of late.

Mikey liked to think that he inspired Leo to do that. It was one of his happy things. He didn’t have very many happy things, so he tried to remind himself of that multiple times a day. It wasn’t healthy. He didn’t care anymore.
He waited for Leo to open the portal, following him through.

When Mikey stepped through, Leo was already rooting around in the fridge. He opened it once, twice, and exclaimed in disgust “Ugh… everything is gross. There’s nothing to eat.” And shut the fridge again.

That would be because he couldn’t cook very well.

Mikey frowned. “When was the last time we went shopping?” He dodged the reality.

Leo shrugged in annoyance, opening the fridge again. “I dunno. There is food, there’s just nothing I wanna eat.”

Mikey hummed. “Well I'm hungry for chocolate milk.” He then proceeded to squish past Leo, scooping up a jar of milk in his arm and making his way over to the cupboard.
He couldn’t make Leo want to function, but he could show Leo that he was functioning and hope that Leo copied him.

He nudged open a cupboard, finding Ovaltine and a shaker bottle.
None of these were things that would break if he dropped them, which meant they were perfect for practice.

Leo huffed, and made his way over to the table, sitting down, and letting his eyes zone out. “Lemme know if you need help or anything.” Better than nothing he guessed.

Mikey nodded, opening the shaker bottle by pinning it against his plastron and unscrewing the top with his jaw. He was starting to get the hang of doing stuff, even without hands.
He did unscrew the milk with his teeth though.

His arms hurt. They throbbed terribly, but he ignored them, hungry enough that it drove him to make the chocolate milk anyways.

Leo stretched his arms out, and laid his head on the table, exhaling gently.

Mikey continued to pinch things between his arms, managing to pour both milk and Ovaltine into the shaker bottle, and without spilling anything. Once he got the bottle closed, he did have some trouble shaking it, but he managed to make it work.

Suddenly, someone spoke, and it wasn’t Leo. “Mikey?” Raph’s confused voice came from the kitchen entrance. “Whatcha doing up?”

Mikey glanced at Raph while attempting to move his arms fast enough to shake the milk. “Raph?” His face broke out into a grin. “Eating a snack with Leo.” He responded for Leo, mainly because he had zero energy for another one of their fights.

“Leo’s in here?” Damn it.
Raph looked around in confusion, then let his gaze settle on Leo. “Ah. Uh, mind if I join ya?”

“Ooh, yes! Join us!” Mikey exclaimed, making his way over to the bar stools. Maybe it would be fine, and they would all have some food together just how they used to.

Raph went to the fridge, and pulled out a protein shake, one they had bought from the stores, since protein powders were still scarce. He kept glancing warily at Leo.

He only needed to keep the tension down until one of them finished eating.
Mikey sat down on the bar stool next to Leo, glancing down at him. He was face down against the counter, his face hidden behind his folded arms. Mikey held in a sigh, leaning against the counter and smashed his cheek against Leo’s shoulder.

Leo made a disinterested sound, unmoving.

Mikey knew he appreciated the gesture though.

Raph frowned slightly, before opening his shake and taking a gulp. After wiping his mouth, he asked. “Why you boys up so early?”

Mikey was worried there would be nothing good to say, so he answered truthfully. “I just wanted a snack, I'm gonna go back to sleep after this.” Nothing wrong with that right? At least there didn’t used to be.

“And you, Leo?” Raph asked, a little judgmental.
It was too late.
Leo huffed, and raised his head to reply. “I’m going to do what I’ve been doing, which is to say, none of your business.”

“Oookkkkkaaayyy.” Mikey drawled awkwardly, cutting in directly after Leo, giving a last ditch attempt to save what was supposed to be a peaceful nighttime snack.
He pulled his head into his shell partially, just enough to feel like someone was hugging his shoulders, a little agitated that Leo had thrown away his efforts like that.

Raph chuffed at Leo, snout crinkling in frustration at Leo’s behaviors.
They were in for another unwanted rodeo.

Before anything else could happen, Donnie came walking into the kitchen. His eyes scanned over his brothers, as he mumbled something under his breath before grabbing himself a glass of water.

At least he was drinking water this time and not drinking more caffeinated tea.

Leo looked up once Donnie entered the room, sitting up abruptly. “Welp. Threes a crowd, and I don’t know what four is. So I’ll be on my way.” He pushed off the counter, his stool making a harsh scraping sound.

Donnie glared at Leo. “Appreciated,” He said, his voice flat.
Mikey looked surprised. “What do you mean three’s a crowd? There's always four of us and you never mind.” Stuff kept changing. All he wanted was for them to act normally around each other.

Why was Leo being so difficult!

“I mind today.” He replied simply, and patted Mikey on the head. “Cheerio~”
He made to walk off, but Raph rushed around the counter, grabbing him by his ‘two-day’ unwashed mask tails and hauled him back, Leo making a surprised sound of protest. “Nuh-uh you ain’t! Sulkin in your room, that’s all ya gonna do, ain’t it? Nuh-uh, nope!” Raph let go of Leo’s mask tails.

Donnie just took a long loud sip of his water while staring directly at Leo. It was then that Mikey noticed Donnie was at least wearing his PJ’s, that way he couldn’t get in trouble with Raph for the same reason Leo was.

“Yeah.” Mikey agreed with Raph. “You need to get your mind right!” Because it had been so hard to get Leo to come out of his room in the first place, there was no way he was going back in there. Even if Raph as trying to pick a fight.

“Fine!! Fine, whatever, fine.” Leo snapped, throwing his arms up in the air, and dragging the stool back towards himself to sit on, now a foot away from the counter.

Donnie took another long sip of his water. “While we are all here, I do have to inquire.” he sipped his water. “When can I have Casey back in my lab?”

Wrong timing Donnie! Did none of Doctor Feeling’s seminars work!?
It made Mikey a little mad though. He had been trying to ignore the fact that Casey wasn’t allowed in the lair anymore.
“Not for a while.” Leo replied, short and flat, giving Donnie no tones to grasp.

Mikey glared at Leo in a curious way, not a judgmental way. Because, Ahem! He wasn’t that kind of person in the moment. “Why would you even kick him out? He didn't do anything wrong.”

Leo stood back up, and sighed. “Not having this conversation right now.” He moved to walk out. Now Mikey was going to have to get him to eat food and stretch his legs later that day. And it would only be harder to do after this.

Why did Raph have to enter the kitchen at the exact moment Leo was in it. Why!

Raph in turn, hissed, and grabbed Leo by the arm, yanking him back. “Stop doing that!!”
It was getting a little tense, and Mikey was starting to feel it.

“Yes Leo.” Donnie started. “Why don't we have this conversation right now? It has been a month!”

Mikey glanced between them, talking over Donnie. “Casey didn't deserve to be kicked out, he hasn't done anything wrong.” Because he did not want to have whatever conversation Donnie had cooked up.

“Casey’s better off without us, and we’re better off without him!” Leo swiped a hand across the air. “End of discussion!”

Raph’s expression darkened and he asked. “Says who? You? Cause last I checked, you ain’t makin’ good choices anymore.”

“I agree with Raphael on this one.” Donnie confirmed. “I quite enjoyed having Casey as a lab partner.”

“Nuh-uh, we’re not doing this!” Leo snapped. “He wanted to leave!! He said so himself, so he can stay gone!!”

That was wrong! Casey had no intention of leaving them, he just wanted to change his base location.
He wanted time to work through recent events. They needed time to work through the most recent events, and none of them could because they were all acting like they hated living with each other!

They couldn’t even have snacks without fighting!

“Uummm, nooooooo!” Mikey protested. “He wanted to start a life for himself, and give himself time to mourn his dead family.” Mikey raised his voice. “Which we are also do-doing! He didn't w-want to be ki-kicked out.” He could feel the sudden onset of angry tears trying to force their way to his eyes.

“You keep your sissy opinion to yourself!!” Leo snarled, and turned his back on them, shoulders hiked up high.

Something snapped in Mikey at that moment, and he was pretty sure his soul was screaming.

In that moment, multiple things happened quickly, giving them almost no time to react. Raph’s third eyelid slid across his eyes, and he let out a feral sounding roar, full of rage.
In the blink of an eye, Leo slammed into the wall across the kitchen, having been kicked straight in the back, slamming full force.

Mikey yelped, jumping off his bar stool and glancing between Raph and Leo.

Donnie choked on his water, setting his cup down and rushing up to Leo after sparing Raph a confused glance.

Leo peeled off the wall in an almost comedic way, falling backwards onto his shell. He groaned, and rolled onto his side, pushing himself up. His nose and mouth were bleeding, and paired with the wide expression his eyes had, it gave him a bit of a crazed look. “Oh, it’s on.” He laughed, loud and wild.

Quickly he sprung at Raph.

They all knew who would win if Raph and Leo had a fight.

Mikey ran towards them. “Stop it!” He shouted angrily. His voice never felt loud enough. He felt as if the pain in his heart was blocking his airway, and their fights only made it worse.

Donnie lunged after Leo, attempting to jump onto his back.

Raph stalked forwards, eyes pure white, and teeth clenched.

Leo quite literally fell when Donnie jumped atop of him and screamed. “No!! Lemme go!! I-I-I’m gonna give him what for!!”

Mikey ran in between them, holding his arms out. “This isn't how we communicate!” He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, both in anger and despair.

Donnie put Leo in a sort of headlock. “Be quiet.” He hissed, sounding angry and mildly in pain. It was probably emotional pain. “Stop moving.”

Leo hissed at him, angry and vicious from his extreme lack of sleep.

Raph growled deep in his chest, halting for just a few seconds before. Mikey stood in place, his arms outspread, and his heart fluttering in response to the angry Raph in front of him.
He couldn’t see Raph’s pupils, but he could see the upturned lip that exposed his teeth.

It was merely a few seconds, but the realization felt like forever, and Mikey wasn’t surprised when Raph swooped forwards, a large hand closing around Mikey’s neck.

Mikey was caught in the middle of a gasp when his windpipe closed. He felt the two sides touching, blocking his air. Guess he didn’t need his heart for that anymore. Ha ha…
His spine stretched as Raph hefted him into the air, his neck only taking the strain from his body because it had no other choice.

“Raph!” A voice exclaimed, he was pretty sure it was Donnie.

Mikey raised his arms, slamming them against Raph’s hand and trying to grab his wrist.
There was nothing there, he had no fingers to grab with. He was suspended by his neck and he couldn’t use his arms for self-defense.
Mikey struggled, coughing slightly. None of the air made it out of his body. It felt wrong. He kicked his feet up, wrapping them around Raph’s arm, in an attempt to lessen the pressure.

It didn’t help, it only changed the location of the pressure. He made a choking sound, his eyes watering.
Raph was so much bigger than him, Mikey couldn’t reach to kick him.

Black pounded his vision, and Mikey choked on a sob, the world blurring with his tears.

He wished he had known his family would end with Splinter’s death.

There was a split moment when Mikey thought his chest would explode from the emotion, and less than a thought later a golden light pulsed outwards from him, bringing a wave of electricity with it.

It engulfed him and Raph, and before he knew it everything around him was thrown back, the air rushing back into his lungs as the hand left his throat.
He fell to the ground, barely catching himself as he fell into a coughing fit.
He glanced up, seeing Donnie and Leo in a heap on the floor, and Raph slumped against the counter, pieces of marble cracked off from the impact of his shell.

The world was silent, only a subtle fuzz could be heard.
He glanced back at Donnie and Leo, Donnie motioning for him to run as he struggled to get off of Leo.

Mikey struggled to his feet, seeing Donnie create a purple shield around him and Leo.

Mikey ran out of the kitchen, his heart pounding in his ears as he gasped for breath. He ran into the dark lair, knowing that his brothers would be fine so long as they had control of their nimpo.
Mikey almost wished he was sleeping.

Sleeping… It was only sleep..

Notes:

TW: Limb loss phantom pains, grief, arguing, sibling abuse, violence and fighting

Chapter 14: Dead End: Pt 6

Summary:

He just… everything about his body felt a little tight. His chest, his throat, all of it. The feeling never went away, and it used all of his patience.

In the last year, he had lost his childhood home, he had lost his father, he had lost his peace, and he knew that he should be kinder to Leo, but a part of him no longer cared.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Raph, Leo
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie

~Donnie~

Raph pushed himself up, stone crumbling off the back of his shell, his face a grimace full of fury.

Donnie rolled off of Leo, struggling to his feet in a frenzy, his heart thrumming with the energy needed to maintain the nimpo shield.

Leo staggered up to his feet, roughly rubbing away the blood on his face, spitting on the ground. “What the hell, Raph?!” He shouted, sounding startled, with maybe a bit of anger. Donnie couldn’t tell.

Raph let out a wild roar, and charged, mystic hands forming over his own. Donnie got into a deep stance, holding his hands out and zoning his focus into the side of the shield that Raph was on.
Raph slammed his mystic hands into the shield, leaving behind an arc of red light as he swung.

The impact was harder than Donnie anticipated, and it sent a vibration through his body as his shield reverberated under the sheer force.
He grunted, digging his back heel into the ground as Raph wound up for another hit. He tensed his arms, another vibration slamming him in the chest and radiating throughout his entire body as Raph hit the shield again.
The purple color of his nimpo pulsated brightly as Raph continued to unleash a combo of attacks towards them. “P-portal, may-maybe?” Donnie fought his lungs to get the words out as Raph slammed the force field.

“I-I’m trying!!” Leo screeched back; voice shrill.

Ah, splendid.

There were a few flashes of blue behind Donnie before they both plummeted out of the kitchen.
Donnie felt his nimpo flicker out, and they barely missed the shattering of his forcefield as they fell through the portal.

Something cold and metal slammed into his back and Donnie barely managed to keep from hitting his head.
He heard a thud from Leo at the same time he hit the metal surface, Leo’s shell sending an echoing clang through the lair.

Donnie exclaimed when he landed, arching his back and growling through his teeth. Man, it sucked having a softshell sometimes.
Stupid dumb-dumb idiot! Not wearing his battle shell!
He rolled over, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing over at Leo. “Stupid, dumby dumb.” He hissed at himself.

Leo was on his side, clutching his head, sides rising and falling rapidly as he hyperventilated.

He was probably having a seizure.

Donnie reached out for Leo. “Okay, uh. Shoot! There’s nothing soft. Um.” He had to think of something immediately.
They were on top of Mikey’s train car. “Think you can make it to Mikey’s room?”

Leo sat up abruptly, and smacked Donnie’s hand away. “Wh-what was that?!” He choked out. “Was that savage Raph? He— he, oh gosh, that’s my fault, isn’t it?!” He gasped through his words.

Donnie glared at Leo, both a little hurt that Leo had smacked his hand away, and mad that he had thought Leo was even having a seizure in the first place. Stupid. “Leonardo, do not freak me out like that!” He sighed, ignoring his thoughts and focusing on the current situation. “I wish I can say what is wrong with Raph, but we need to find a better hiding spot first.”

Raph would have most certainly heard the loud metallic thunk as they both landed on Mikey’s train car. It was a wonder he wasn’t charging towards them already.

Leo’s eyes darted around, and he continued to hyperventilate. There was a good chance that he wasn’t registering what was going on around him. His eyes seemed a little lost.

Donnie bit his lip, scanning around the train cars. They were going to get attacked any second, and he couldn’t hold up another shield forever. “Either you follow me willingly, or I bring you with me against your will.” He extended a hand out to Leo. “So get a hold of yourself until we are safe.” He honestly was a little impatient with Leo.

In the last year, he had lost his childhood home, he had lost his father, he had lost his peace, and he knew that he should be kinder to Leo, but a part of him no longer cared.

He just… everything about his body felt a little tight. His chest, his throat, all of it. The feeling never went away, and it used all of his patience.

Leo stared at Donnie’s hand for a few stupidly long moments, before clasping it tightly, allowing Donnie to pull him up. Then of course, he lost his balance and fell off the train car roof.

He just teetered off the edge, almost drunkenly.

Donnie lunged for him, struggling to catch his brother. He slammed flat on his plastron against the roof of the train car, barely catching himself before he slid face-first off the edge, completely failing to catch Leo.

The sounds of their struggle echoed once more throughout the lair, a blaring siren to their location.
Donnie was surprised they weren’t dead yet. In fact, he was mildly confused.

Donnie scrambled to the ground, not planning to test their luck any further, rushing up to Leo. “We need to move, Leo.” He grabbed Leo’s hand again, attempting to pull him to his feet.

Leo made a startled sound, letting Donnie drag him along, toddling in a way that suggested he had no motor control. “I-I’m trying!” He exclaimed, dramatically. Ever the ridiculous, emotional, turtle!

Donnie hummed in response, pulling them around the side of one of the train cars, and crawling under it.

Leo slid in after him, breath shuddering in an attempt to keep himself quiet.

It was squishy under the train car, and Donnie thought it was a little claustrophobic. There was no way he was risking moving to a new spot though.

Notes:

TW: Sibling abuse, feral behavior, PTSD, violence and fighting

Chapter 15: Dead End: Pt 7

Summary:

Leo might not be the ‘emotions’ guy (not like Mikey was), but he did understand this. He knew how to help based off reactions, and things to say to elicit certain responses.

“Raph, are you ok?”

And this right here, was a something he could help with.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo, Raph
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie

~Leo~

For a while, they sat like that, waiting for Raph to come and attack them, waiting for what felt like the world’s scariest game of hide and seek. Waiting to get found and dragged out from underneath by the ankles. But it never happened.

Instead, a low and quiet sobbing drifted from out of the kitchen area.

Donnie, who had been laying against the train tracks, gripping the sleeves of his pajamas in his hands, shifted slightly to make eye contact with Leo. His eyes were difficult to get a read on, though that could just be because Leo was losing his grip. Before he could over analyze the ‘meaning’ in Donnie’s eyes, Donnie interrupted him by tipping his head in the direction of the kitchen, raising an eyebrow.

Leo stared at him for a few seconds, brain stuttering, halting, and running in circles before he came to a sort of confusion, giving his twin a few quick signs, all ranging from ‘yes I’m worried’ to ‘idiot’. Gripping the tracks, he pulled himself forwards, wincing as his plastron scraped against the ground.

Donnie followed behind Leo, squirming up and out from under the train car, standing up and ignoring Leo’s hand up. Yeah, that checks out, Leo did cause them to both fall off the roof.

Straightening up, Donnie signed, ‘He has never gone feral in the lair before’ glancing between both Leo, and the entryway to the kitchen. Leo grimaced and signed back. ‘If he’s alright, I’ll take care of him. You find Mikey’ Donnie responded with a thumbs-up and whispered. “I need my gauntlet.” He started to inch towards his room. “I’ll keep watch.” Leo promised, keeping an eye on the kitchen.

The crying hadn’t stopped, and had only gotten more heartbreaking sounding. Did Raph think they had left the lair? Because that was the type of crying one only did when they thought they were alone. And it broke Leo’s heart just a little bit. Maybe, he had been too cruel…

Donnie slipped into his room, reappearing seconds later with his goggles and his gauntlet. “Ready.”

Leo waved him on, and they slowly made their way to the kitchen. And oh gosh, the urge to summon his sword was strong. But he’d refrain. He had more self-control than that. Poor Raph didn’t deserve to be approached like he was some sort of deranged animal.
They could be seen from the kitchen by the time they made it halfway down the stairs, so there was no sneaking up on Raph, which really wasn’t a bad thing, since neither of them wanted to startle him.

Though Leo had refrained from summoning his weapon for Raph’s sake, Donnie seemed to have no qualms against it, letting his markings flair to life to be used both as a light source, and a way to quickly summon defenses.

“What’s he?— oh…” Leo made a soft sound when he peered around the corner and saw where Raph was at.

Raph was looking very small for a guy his size, pressed into the corner, hands over his eyes, tears spilling around them. He had his knees pulled up, and was making himself as small as possible, whimpering and crying softly.

And Donnie cringed, hissing, “Oh, no.” as he moved to stayed behind Leo, tugging at the loose collar of his pj’s.
“Raph?” Leo called out softly, all the malice gone from his tone, now replaced with hushed worry. “Raph, are you ok?” And he was scared of the answer. Because what would he do if Raph wasn’t ok? His Raph, his big brother, his literal definition of strength. What would he do then?

Donnie peered out from behind Leo, whispering in his ear. “I can confirm that he is indeed normal. Fully functioning.” Donnie hissed the last part at Leo like it was some sort of secret. And before Leo could tell him that wasn’t helpful, Raph whimpered, voice breaking as he attempted to answer. “I-I don’t know!! I-I dont know wh-what happened!”

Donnie nudged Leo towards Raph. “You help fix this. You helped start it.” And Leo felt his heart sink. Yeah, he had done this, hadn’t he? Eugh boy, he wasn’t good at the whole ‘comforting’ thing. Leo hesitated for a few moments before nodding. “Yeah. You go find Mikey, ok?” Donnie nodded, giving Leo a thumbs up. “Will do.”

Leo watched as Donnie quickly scampered away, not wanting to deal with emotions and stuff, and Leo couldn’t blame him. He didn’t even want to have to deal with his own feelings. He gently sighed, feeling like crap about the entire thing. “Raph?” He called out again, moving towards his biggest brother, sudden compassion swelling in his heart.

Treat him like how you’d want to be treated, if you were Raph.

“Raph, I’m sorry I pushed you.” He apologized, knowing it was the right thing to say. He needed to get a reaction from Raph somehow. He needed something to go off of.

And just as he thought, Raph gave him that reaction. A something to work with. Raph shook his head, keeping his face hidden behind his hands, tears soaking his cheeks, and dripping out from the cracks of his palms. “I-I’m s-sorry!!” He cried out, as if he hadn’t heard Leo at all. “I-I don’t mean to, I-I-I—“ His breath shuddered, and Leo realized he was most likely having a panic attack. It was all right there. The small, choked sounds, the not hearing what Leo said, the complete lack of control over emotions. Leo might not be the ‘emotions’ guy (not like Mikey was), but he did understand this. He knew how to help based off reactions, and things to say to elicit certain responses. And this right here, was a something he could help with.

“C’mon.” He coaxed, walking closer, and gently placing a hand on Raph’s big spikey shoulder. “Let’s go to the med bay, yeah? Get you all checked out. You got electrocuted, and though you look fine, I still wanna check your heart rate.” Raph was a very touched based person, so this was a surefire way to get him to at least acknowledge his presence. Raph might not hear what Leo was saying, but if he could get him to a place where he could care for him, that might help reduce some of his panic.

Raph had pretty much gone nonverbal at this point, the only sound being made being little hitches in his breath and choked sobs. He nodded, clearly not understanding everything, as his brain was probably still in panic mode. Yup, just as he thought, that checks out.

Leo stooped down, and grabbed Raph’s hand, tugging on his lightly, too tired to actually put an effort into pulling him, body protesting from the two days awake. Luckily, Raph didn’t resist too much, and followed Leo, like a child following an adult, but the reverse.

Like his situation with being leader. Leo immediately felt too uncomfortable to think about that anymore, and directed his attention to helping Raph.

Leo brought him to the med bay, and sat him down at the table, taking a few moments to collect himself, inhaling sharply when his vision blacked out momentarily, leaving him feeling dizzy. That had been happening the past few days. It didn’t particularly feel the best, but it wasn’t the end of the world.
At that, Raph apparently decided now would be a good time to stop being nonverbal. “L-Leo?” He croaked; voice full of worry. “Leo, wh- when have you last slept?”

Leo forced out a light chuckle and waved off his concerns. “Ah, don’t worry about that, mi hermano. Now, let’s get you a checkup, and you can explain why you went savage Raph on us, hm?” Leo didn’t want to think about that right now. Besides, he was actually curious as to what caused savage Raph, since he usually only showed up, when Raph was one hundred percent alone, and panicking. Leo had a hunch as to why but still wanted to hear Raph say it.
Maybe if Raph finally admitted that he was having intrusive thoughts, he’d finally figure out how to handle it. When Leo turned, after pulling on some gloves, he got to witness as Raph’s expression fell. He cringed internally, feeling bad. Oh well, at least he had successfully changed the topic.

Raph began to explain, holding still as Leo began to check him for potential damage. “I-I don’t know what h-happened.” He confessed, and Leo nodded as he gently pulled Raph’s arm out to check it. “O- one moment, Raph was angry, th-then the next, it felt like—“ his jaw clicked as he fell silent, breath hitching.

Leo hummed, nodding as he tried his hardest to listen, blackness encroaching in on his vision. “Like?” He did want to hear, he really did!! But the adrenaline high was wearing off, and he had used his nimpo, which had basically been like taking water out of an empty cup.

Raph attempted to speak again, taking a long while to work up the courage. “It felt like—“ but Leo didn’t hear him, as a loud ringing began drowning out Raph’s words. As sudden as blinking, a sense of vertigo overtook him, and blackness whooshed across his body, like a thick dark blanket, making him feel like the room had been flipped upside down on him, and he was still on the ceiling.

Leo staggered, and fell, eyes slipping shut as his body failed him. He felt a sharp pain on the side of his head as he evidently slammed it on something, possibly the corner of the med bed, and promptly crumbled. He would have been fine, really! But then his body decided, nope!! He wasn’t done there!! Leo then made a choked sound in the back of his throat as his muscles began to seize up, and everything felt like a live wire, jittering, and possessive.

Notes:

TW: PTSD, light panic attack, effects of a lack of sleep, seizure, brief mention of head trauma

This chapter was almost a SketchieFoxie exclusive chapter!

Chapter 16: Dead End: Pt 8

Summary:

Mikey was sitting against a support pillar in the waiting area, curled into a shaking ball of limbs.
Donnie slowed his walk down as he approached Mikey. “Michael?” He asked quietly, his voice sounding louder in the echoing subway tunnels than it should have.

Mikey shook his head, looking away and closing his eyes.

...

Sometimes you just lose things you love.
By some miracle, this did not seem to be one of those times.

Notes:

TW listed in the End Notes

This is a roleplay fic and is written by two people

Characters played by;

SketchieFoxie: Leo, Raph
TheInkypawPrint: Donnie, Mikey

~Donnie~

Donnie rushed towards Mikey’s room, hoping he would find him there.

A small thought entered his mind, something that told him that Mikey wasn’t there anymore. That for some unknown reason, his younger brother had permanently disappeared, and they would all just have to accept that.

In the last year, he had lost his childhood home, he had lost his father, he had lost his peace, and is brain was telling him that he might have lost Mikey.

The thought was irrational, and Donnie frantically shook his head, his vision warping into round smears.

The feeling matched the one he felt when he learned about Splinter.
The only difference was one of them was real.

Nope, nope, nope. All of it was bad. He didn’t have time to dwell on this stuff, he was their tech guy, he needed to help find Mikey.

Donnie took a moment to regain his composure, running his hands down his face and flicking them out at his sides, pretending that he had tossed his tears away. And they couldn’t come back because of gravity.
He activated his nimpo, channeling it into the projected screen over his arm, opening up the tracker locations and finding Mikey’s bright golden tracker.

It appeared he was in a subway tunnel, a few minutes’ walk from the lair, or he was on the surface. It was hard to tell.
Donnie sighed. Both disappointed that he had to leave the lair, and relieved that he could see Mikey moving through the tracker.
Definitely still here.

Donnie chose to search the surface area first, since it was the easiest to get to on foot.
In less than two minutes, he was pushing open an abandoned manhole cover, a light pink washing into his vision.

He faltered, letting his eyes adjust to the light before climbing out of it completely.
The sun was just beginning to rise, a light rain falling from the thin layers of clouds that covered part of the sky. They reminded him of molten metal.

He rarely got to see the sky at this time of day, mainly due to the fact that he and his brothers typically went out at night.
It was calm and peaceful, the normal city buzz half as loud as it usually was.
The tight dead feeling he felt constantly in his chest started to grow more insistent as he stared at the sky. Alone and in a world that felt almost timeless.

SO many people had lost loved ones in the invasion. Casey had lost his entire family. There was a parallel timeline where Donnie was dead with no living family members, and he was struggling with this?

He was sitting outside the subway trying not to cry because his brothers were struggling mentally.
How dramatic could he be!

He should really learn how to shut up if they weren’t dead yet, because that was the other option to his life right now.

He felt his mouth twitch in the unforgiving movement of a frown, and he turned around immediately, rushing back into the sewers.

It took him about ten minutes before he located Mikey in one of the tunnels. It was an abandoned station, the wait station illuminated by a flickering light, the tracks sitting off to the side and shrouded in the dark.

Mikey was sitting against a support pillar in the waiting area, curled into a shaking ball of limbs.

Donnie slowed his walk down as he approached Mikey. “Michael?” He asked quietly, his voice sounding louder in the echoing subway tunnels than it should have.

Mikey glanced up at him, hugging his knees. He had tear tracks running down his face, his shoulders pulled tightly against his neck.

“What is the damage on your neck?” He asked yet another question, raising an eyebrow and tipping his head to look for any potential bruising.

Mikey shook his head, looking away and closing his eyes.
That was abnormal for Mikey, he was usually very vocal.

Donnie was supposed to do something to help him.
He sat down next to his younger brother, the concrete floor was cold, even through the layer of pajama’s he was wearing.

Mikey didn’t look at him, his shoulders shaking slightly.

Right, he probably needed to say something. “Raph didn't do it on purpose. I don't, uh, I don't know what happened.” Raph had never gone feral while in the lair, and while Donnie no longer trusted it to stay that way, he knew Raph would never hurt Mikey on purpose.

It was something he could tell Mikey, even if it wasn’t logically any better.

Mikey was silent for a moment longer before speaking up. “I-I ca-can’t
defe-defend myself.” His voice sounded slightly hoarse, catching on his words and halting his sentence. He motioned with his arms. “I can’t f-fight wi-with these.” He waved his wrists around. “I can’t even si-sign with th-these.” The words were being forced out, and Donnie thought Mikey sounded upset, even with the hoarse crackle of his voice.

He was upset because he didn’t have hands, one of the most useful portions of the external body. That made sense, of course Mikey was upset about it, and Donnie hadn’t even tried to finish his new hands.
After Casey and a few others…. had left, he just... gave up...
He stopped trying to make the hands, or anything for that matter. “You defended yourself quite well.” He reminded Mikey, mainly because it was the only comforting thing he could say.

Mikey huffed, looking away. “It w-wasn’t on pur-purpose.”

“That has no bearance on the effectiveness of your defense. Whether or not you did it on purpose, you still needed to defend yourself, and you still did wonderfully.”

Mikey withdrew into himself, which was a sure sign of negative emotions. “I- I didn’t want to h-hurt Raph.” Mikey rasped. “What if I d-damaged him?”

Donnie shook his head, sighing and placing a hand on Mikey’s shell. “Hush Michelangelo. He is well, and he has received treatment in the med bay. You should defend yourself just as viciously each and every time, and Raph needs to worry about himself.”

Mikey sniffed, fresh tears gathering in his eyes. He leaned against Donnie. “What if I c-can’t.” There was a hoarse slice of air through every word, the sound of his vocal cords failing to produce sound properly.

It was possible he had permanent damage. Donnie hoped that wasn’t the case.

“Is that not the whole reason we are a team? So that we can support each other during fights?” He leaned back from Mikey. “Now stop dwelling on something that will never be a problem, and let me see the injuries you sustained.”
He really needed to finish Mikey’s hands now.

What kind of tech guy was he if he couldn’t even provide the basic needs for his team.

If he had made armor, or more emergency pods, then maybe Splinter wouldn’t have gotten injured.

Mikey shifted, tipping his chin back so Donnie could see his neck.
There was mottled purple bruising running up into his jawline, seeping away from the clear sight of a hand shaped bruise that covered Mikey’s neck. It looked terrible, and Donnie was surprised Mikey’s throat hadn’t closed up already.

It was a wonder he hadn’t suffocated while they were all hiding from Raph.

Sometimes you just lose things you love.

By some miracle, this did not seem to be one of those times.

“You should come back to the lair.” Donnie said, standing up. “Your throat requires an examination.” It needed ‘immediate’ examination.

Mikey shook his head. “Raph sh-shouldn’t see yet.” He coughed out, tucking his neck back into his shell. “I think I need to be a-alone for a bit.” He most certainly did not need to be alone when suffocation was a possibility.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you need medical attention.” He countered, falling silent as he waited for Mikey to respond.
There was never a response, so he was forced to take matters into his own hands.

Donnie sighed, unsure how to get Mikey to listen to him. “The security doesn't reach this part of the subway.” He pressed

Mikey nodded. “I know.” his eyes were full of discouragement.

“Well, I need to know if something happens to you.” He reached into the pocket of his pajama’s, grabbing his phone and handing it to Mikey. “You can call my vambrace if you need anything, okay?”

Mikey nodded, taking the phone between his two wrists and setting it on the floor next to him.

“Okay…” Donnie bit his lip, unsure how to respond to Mikey’s sudden quietness. “I will return.” He said awkwardly, leaning down and kissing Mikey on the forehead before turning around and heading back to the lair.

He regretted leaving, but he wasn’t sure he could pressure Mikey into leaving the subway station, and he thought he would have a better outcome of he brought Leo to Mikey.

Mikey let out a broken churr, the sound choppy as his vocal cords struggled to generate it.

His mind screamed at him that if he left Mikey, there would no longer be a Mikey when he came back.
He left anyways because he felt the same thing when he thought about leaving Leo alone with Raph.

Donnie was entering the lair when he heard a panicked shout. He didn’t have time to register who was shouting before he heard Raph. “LEO!!!” It was an exclamation that matched the panicked shouting.
Donnie picked up the pace, running over to the med bay, where he had heard the sound. “What happened!” The only explanation that his mind cared to come up with was that he had made a mistake in leaving Leo alone with Raph, and Raph had snapped at Leo again.

Raph was leaning over Leo, who was on the floor, rolling him onto his side. His older brother biting his hand in worry.
Leo was twitching lightly, eyes half lidded and roving back and forth. There was a gash on the side of his head, and he was bleeding across the floor.

Donnie faltered, the sensation of panic rolling behind his ribs as it changed. He was pretty sure it was still panic, it was merely a new one.
He ran over to them, avoiding eye contact with Raph. “We don't have the Benzodiazepines yet.” He stressed.

Leo’s stupid head! Donnie was about to give Leo a helmet that could only be taken off with a password protected lock.

Raph spoke, his voice oddly high. “Then what do we do?! H-he passed out, a-and hit his head!” Raph sounded like he was also freaking out.

Donnie glanced to the side. “Why would you ask me? I have no idea.” His eyes flicked back to Leo, who was twitching. “I don't know.” His voice squeaked because his stupid throat was tight.

He was supposed to do something! Leo was twitching on the ground, and his head was bleeding. Donnie was the tech guy, he was supposed to do something.

Move Leo?
Nope, dumb dumb.

“I-I don’t know either!!” Raph cried out, interrupting the few thoughts Donnie had. “I-I wish Barry was here, I-I wish Pops was here, I-I—“ Raph made an upset sound, hovering over Leo in his kneeled position.

He had no idea what he was doing. Raph was supposed to know what they were doing. Raph and Leo were the leaders. Splinter was supposed to be here helping them, Draxum was supposed to be here helping them.

Leo had mostly stopped twitching, his limbs slowly going limp.
He hadn’t done anything. He hadn’t known what to do.
He was incompetent.

Donnie tasted the tears before he noticed his vision blurring.

He needed to ignore that, what kind of seventeen-year-old cried, over something like this. He glanced down at Leo, telling himself to focus on Leo and pretend that the last minute and a half never happened.

Despite the fact that Leo had stopped twitching, his head was still bleeding, pretty heavily for a simple wound too.

Donnie sighed, rubbing the bridge of his snout with both palms, inconspicuously wiping away the tears. “He most likely has a concussion.” That was one of the only things Donnie knew how to deal with.

Raph nodded, and Donnie avoided eye contact with him, watching him out of the corner of his eyes as his older brother stood up and made his way over to the storage cupboards, almost knocking the stuff on the counter over. “Y-yeah… h-he’s gonna need something to staunch the bleeding.”
The cupboards were close to empty, their supplies consisting of whatever Casey had managed to grab over a month ago.

Donnie pointed towards a box of tissues that sat on the counter, hoping Raph would notice him pointing.

Raph of course, did, grabbing the tissues and rushing back towards them.

Donnie hunched his shoulders, making himself smaller. “I don't know how to check Leo for a concussion. I am unsure what shining a light into his eyes will do right now.” He watched Raph, muttering to himself quietly.

Should have stayed quiet, Raph didn’t want to hear him right now.
He was so dumb, what if he made Raph go feral again.

Raph pulled Leo onto his lap, holding him close, despite how badly his hands were shaking. “I-is… is Mikey alright? Did-” He broke off, his voice choked up.

Donnie kept his gaze on Leo. This was asking for trouble. “I, uh, yeah, Mikey? Mikey is fine, um, he’s currently elsewhere…” Donnie hesitated nervously.

He came back because he didn’t want to leave Leo alone. He came back to bring Leo to Mikey. He came back for Leo.

Raph let out a choked noise again, bending forwards and leaning over Leo, letting out a low keening sound, tears spilling over and soaking his cheeks.

Oh man, Raph was crying. Raph never cried.

Donnie paused, gingerly reaching out before pulling his hand back, taken aback by Raph’s blatant display of guilt and regret. “Raph, I said he was fine.” Donnie repeated, dissatisfied with Raph’s reaction.

This wasn’t how people reacted when they heard that a family member was fine, he shouldn’t be crying!

“N-none o-of this is fine!!” He cried out. “N-none of it!!”

Donnie went quiet, drawing his head back and pulling gently on the cuff of his sleeve. This wasn’t normal, Raph never reacted this way. He was always calm, and he was always trying to come up with a plan. He was the stable one!

Raph kept on crying, holding Leo close. Donnie had only ever seen Raph act this way when he was either scared, or someone had passed.

He considered the fact that it might be possible for Leo to pass if he hit his head too many times while having a seizure, or passing out.

Donnie was having a hard time breathing.

He stood frozen for a few minutes, stuck between the option of standing next to Raph to check on Leo, or backing up before Raph went feral again and killed the both of them.
Donnie waited for a small moment before inching forwards, sneaking his hand around Raph’s arm to place his palm against Leo’s forehead. He felt immediate disappointment once he made contact with Leo, his forehead hot. “He’s feverish again.”

Leo turned and pressed his head up into Donnie’s hand, and Raph startled. “Leo!! Are ya awake?”

Leo let out a low and unaware hum in response.
Donnie swallowed thickly, a sick relief filling him once it was confirmed that Leo was still alive, and awake.
He had clearly been alive anyway, though Donnie figured you could never be sure enough. Not after hearing about their future timelines.

Donnie hummed worriedly. “Let me see your eyes Leon.” He prompted, keeping his hand against Leo’s forehead.

Leo didn’t respond, his eyes shifting slightly to look at Donnie through half-lidded eyes. He looked stupidly drunk.

Donnie removed his hand. “Correction, I have all the information I need.” He looked at Leo’s weird half-lidded expression. “He definitely has a concussion.”

Raph frowned deeply, and asked. “What are we gonna do?” Carefully, he stood up, a little more in control now that his tears had been shed and brought Leo to one of the med bay beds to lay down.
Leo jerked slightly as he was brought down, inhaling sharply before going still again. The small twitch of Raph’s shoulders could be seen as he was startled by Leo’s sudden movement.
Donnie scowled at Leo. “I am not entirely sure that’s normal.” He commented, scrunching his snout.

It most certainly wasn’t. He was having hard time figuring out what was normal lately.
Donnie followed them over to the bed.

Raph soothed Leo, reassuring him. “I-it’s ok, Raph is jus’ lay in’ ya down.”

Leo opened his eyes properly and furrowed his brow. He still looked confused, though slightly more lucid. He made a confused chirping sound.

Donnie waved a hand in front of Leo’s face. “Are you cognitively present?” He asked, trying to force a cool vocal tone. Even he could hear the failed attempt.

“Y-yes?” Leo croaked, and attempted to push himself up, wincing. “Wh-what…? Donnie?”

Donnie tilted his head at Leo. “Yeesss?” He asked, skeptically.

“When d-did you get here?” Leo wondered, voice ragged.

Donnie rolled his eyes. “While you were unconscious dum-dum.”

“How long?!” Leo pressed, tone stressed.

Donnie thought. “Seven minutes, assuming you passed out right before I got here.” He hummed. “Though it could be anywhere from seven minutes to a half an hour.”

“Shoot!” He cursed under his breath, pushing himself upwards, as if to get off the bed. Raph immediately pushed him back down. “Nuh-uh, you ain’t gettin’ up!!”

Leo had been planning to check on Mikey after he took care of Raph, of course he was freaking out about the sudden time skip in his consciousness.

“If you are worried about Mikey.” Donnie began. “I have already checked on him and he has no weird hemorrhaging around his carotid arteries other than the expected bruising, I imagine he will be fine.” Donnie nodded, consoling Leo.
It was the stupidest lie he had ever lied.
He paused, glancing at Raph. “I mean, whhhaaaaa, whhhoooo? Mikey? Who the heck is that?”
Hopefully that would fix it.

Leo pushed at Raph’s hands, ignoring the way his biggest brother had gone distant looking. “A-and, where is he?”

Donnie glanced at Raph again. Don’t say anything that will make Raph go feral. “Oh, he’s definitely in the lair, totally not in a random subway tunnel sitting on the train tracks.” And that was a job done by the great Donatello. Clean and efficient.

Donnie heard the upset sound Raph made at the same time Leo pulled a stupid face at him, appearing displeased.

Okay, umm… something he did was wrong.
“Aannd, he’s looking at me weirdly.” Donnie raised an eyebrow at Leo, taking a step back. He had a hard time finding the words that time, struggling to convey his discomfort.

Leo ran a hand over his face, waving when he realized he had a cut on the side of his head. “No, Donnie, I-it’s alright, ok? Just, I need some pain meds, and like, crackers or something.”

He most definitely said something wrong about Mikey. Stupid. Stupid.

Focus on the next thing. Focus on the next thing.

Donnie found a spot on the wall to look at, opening his mouth for a second before he could get any sound to come out. “Sure, those are very possible, I can provide those.” He then made his way to the storage drawers, searching until he found the pain meds.

He knew how to talk. He should be able to remember and use his words. What kind of idiot forgot random parts of their first and only language.

“Th-that’d b-be good…” Leo managed, and Raph quickly reached out to steady him. “When was the last time ya slept?” Raph asked, brow furrowed in worry. Leo didn’t answer, which meant far too long, since he almost always had some sort of witty reply.

Donnie brought the pain killers over. “Shall I tranquillize you dear brother?” Leo needed to sleep and tranquilizing him had been a useful solution in the past.

“Don’t you DARE.” Leo growled, scowling at him, reaching and snatching the pain killers. “Where’s the crackers? I can’t take these without them.”

“Didn’t you eat earlier?” Raph pressed, and Leo made a growling sound.

Donnie tapped his pointer fingers together. “It might be… preferable if Raph retrieved the crackers.” Donnie not so subtly hinted, trying to separate them.

Raph nodded and addressed Donnie. “Don’t let him snap at ya, he’s having one of his mood swings.” Then he left the med bay.

“Yeah….” Donnie replied to Raph’s retreating back. He turned back to face Leo, opening and closing his mouth a few times.
He wanted to tell Leo that he was sorry for fighting with him, and he wanted to talk about Raph, ask Leo how he was doing and if it was okay being alone with him.
His mind had no words in it though, and try as he might to remember them, he still couldn’t get enough to generate a sentence.

The moment Raph left, Leo got off the bed, heading towards the sink.

Nobody was looking at him. Despite the fact that Leo was on the other side of the room, he was so delirious that Donnie might as well be alone.
He let out a silent sigh, bringing his hands up to his face and hiding behind them for a second.

It would be okay. Raph was no longer in the med bay. Leo was awake. Mikey was hiding, though otherwise okay. If he was still alive.
He opened his eyes, removing his hands and watching Leo at the sink.
He could feel his mind clearing, and along with that his muscles loosening.

A thought suddenly entered his mind. What if Leo had gone to the sink so quickly because he was going to throw up. “Leo. If you throw up, I would like a warning!” He called, the words smoother than they had been a few moments ago.

“Not throwing up.” He sighed, in an agitated tone. “Just washing my face. Gotta get my head stitched up.”

“Right.” Donnie tugged at the collar of his shirt again, walking up to Leo. “Want help? With the sutures?”

“No.” Was all he said, splashing water on his face, certainly not acting careful. He grabbed a paper towel, and dried his face, wiping it harder than need be. “You’re squeamish anyways.”

Donnie just chuffed, scowling at the back of Leo’s head.
It wasn’t his fault bodies leaked fluids full of pathogens every time they so much as got a paper cut.

Leo left the sink, walking around the med bay in a bustling manner, halting every few moments as he searched for things. At least that’s what Donnie thought he was doing.

Donnie decided to sit down on the counter, watching Leo as he ran around. “You should know, you have a concussion.” There wasn’t much he could do to be helpful at this point, other than give Leo input. He could do that.

“Donnie’s right you know.” Raph’s voice called out, and Leo jumped, startled as Raph entered the room.

Oh banana pancakes! They were going to die.
Donnie glanced between the two of them. “Greetings Raphael.” He chuckled, Worried that they were going to start fighting again. Raph and Leo’s fight had a whole new level to them now that Raph had gone feral in the lair.

Raph nodded towards Donnie, and brought Leo a pack of crackers, along with some water.
Leo took them, a little harshly, and ripped the pack open. He shoved three crackers into his mouth, crunched them up, popped the pills in his mouth, and washed it all down with the water, grimacing the entire time.

Donnie hopped down from the counter. “He inched over to his brothers awkwardly.” he narrated, sliding in between Raph and Leo again.
It was the last place he wanted to be, but maybe he could stop a fight if he made a physical barrier with his body.

Leo huffed, rolling his eyes and pushing off the table. “Yup. But you know what would be more helpful? I need stuff to patch myself up, ok?”

More helpful? Leo didn’t want his help, as he had made that clear the last time Donnie had asked.

“And you say that as if you weren't the one to cause the problem in the first place.” Donnie muttered. “Because if you told someone before you had a seizure, you wouldn't hurt yourself as much.” It was a stupid problem.

“I never said that.” Leo shot back, frustrated. “Just, I need to get this stitched up, ok?”

Donnie avoided eye contact. “Sure, fine, whatever.” He sniffed lightly, his gaze flicking nervously towards Raph. “I can grab you some sutures.”
Donnie made is way over to the supply cupboards again, finding their sutures. At least this way he didn’t have to face anybody.

“I’m just… gonna go…” Raph edged his way out of the room, pointing a thumb toward the door and quickly fleeing.

Donnie mostly ignored Raph leaving, though he couldn’t stop as the corners of his mouth quivered slightly, teasing a frown.
That wasn’t his older brother. Raph had hit them before, in fact, they had all hit each other before. But they had never purposefully damaged each other.
He was disappointed that Raph had left. He was disappointed because he was relieved.

He turned back to Leo with a pack of sutures and a case with a sterilized needle in it. “I have uh, ha, topical pain blockers.” He handed Leo the stuff, worried that Leo would be mad at him for this too.

Of course he was, Donnie had purposely bothered Leo in the kitchen earlier, and it had led to a fight.

“I’ll be fine.” He said flatly, reaching, and grabbing the supplies before heading to a mirror.

Donnie just nodded, standing back while Leo stitched up his cut. Leo was right, he was too squeamish about that kind of stuff to watch it.

Leo hissed once or twice, but for the most part remained silent. After a short while, he called out. “I’m finished. “It’s all good Dee, you can look.”

Donnie sighed, glancing up at Leo. “This better not be a recurrence.”

Leo sighed just as Donnie did, and slid down to the floor, sitting upon the ground. “Which part?”

Donnie gestured in a wide circle. “All of it.” He gestured towards the sliding doors. “The fight with Raph.” He motioned to Leo’s head. “Hitting your head and giving yourself a concussion.” He chuffed. “The fact that if you continue to make the mistake of not sitting down when you think you might have a seizure, I can't help you. I don't know how! None of us do, none of us can help you if you have a brain bleed.” He ranted, upset.

Would if feel any different from Splinter’s death?
What disrespectful thoughts.

Leo stared at the floor, eyes glossy. He was silent for a long while, before he whispered. “I’m sorry…”

Donnie sat down next to Leo, tucking his chin over his knees. “Likewise, Leonardo, likewise.” And the fact that he had actually gotten the words out without hesitation was such a pathetic victory.

Leo pulled his knees up, hugging them close, and pressing his face into them, effectively hiding his expression.

Notes:

TW: Aftermath of getting choked out, throat trauma, PTSD, panic, seizure, blood, head trauma, use of medical equipment/stitches

To all our readers who were here before the format change, we've reached the end of the most current content!! Yay!! The next chapter will be new content, and along with that, we'll add an explanation as to why we've been so MIA for so long lol
Thanks for reading! <3

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of When I Was Younger Series