Work Text:
8:37pm.
Your apartment has never been cleaner.
And the phone you've been neurotically avoiding is now vibrating against sparkling counter-tops.
It's also sending your heartbeat straight down to your ass.
You take a deep breath and exhale in a huff before accepting the call.
For some reason, you decide to answer with a yawn. Like you just woke up from a nonchalance induced nap. It feels like a cool thing to do as you stretch your arms, mumbling out a faux-groggy "hello".
"Are you pretending to be asleep before 9pm?" Wonwoo calls your bluff gently and your embarrassment skyrockets. You lean back against the kitchen counter and tuck your face into your hoodie.
"Naps exist."
"When I asked you to take one with me a few days ago you said you were 'biologically incapable of napping' and then ignored me."
"I - Why're you callin' me Woo?" You redirect the conversation, steering clear of anything regarding…that.
"Come over." As per usual, he's straight to the point and sounds focused on something else. It's most likely that he's trying to split his attention between a game chat and this conversation.
"Okay, sure. But I can't just chill on your bed while you play games all night."
This is a lie.
You totally can.
And the excuse of working in the morning doesn't apply when you both live in the same building. But ever since that kiss in the bar last month, the kisses since then, and the night you accidentally stayed over - these late night hang out sessions are making you feel something you don't know how to process. Anything but casual is the best way to describe it. Wonwoo on the other hand, has spent the past month acting like things have always been this way. It's been maddening.
"I'm ignoring that lie because I'm nice. Timer's set for 30 minutes. Door's unlocked. Oh, how's the mirror?" Wonwoo sounds amused by his own mild-mannered sass.
There's a pause in the conversation while you blink at your reflection. It takes a moment to realize that you've walked over to the mirror, the one he helped you decorate at a wine and craft night. It's hanging on the wall to the left of your desk in the living room. He insisted on hanging it up for you.
You command yourself to stay focused.
"First, this is a gross misuse of the timer rule. Second, did your new glasses come with clairvoyance?"
"You always 'assess' before leaving your place. I dunno why, you're pretty without doing anything."
He notes his observation oh-so casually.
This crush is going to take you out.
You sink down onto your desk chair without responding. It feels like you're drowning in images of Wonwoo: the looks he gives after telling a joke he's proud of, when he rolled up his sleeves before hanging up the mirror, his nose scrunch, how he looks right before he kisses you, the way he pulled you closer in his sleep - Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo. Maybe you should get a new chair.
"The mirror's good. It works just like… a mirror." A snorted laugh tickles your ear and spurs on light-hearted indignance, "Well it hasn't fallen down!"
"Tell me if it does. And don't run up our water bill before coming over. 27 minutes, I have compensation soju."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're kinda bossy?"
"Actually, someone very bossy tells me all the time."
"Are they bossy or do they just have good idea's?" Wonwoo laughs at this, and the ridiculous bickering makes things feel like normal again.
"Both. About to hit 25 minutes, the penalty remains instated."
"See you in an hour Woo."
"See you soon pretty."
The doot-doot-doot sound ends the call and you glance at the desk in front of you without really seeing it. There's an awkward lump in your chest that can't be cleaned or organized away. Why do situations like this never come with a rule-book?
To be fair to Wonwoo, he used to say things like this all the time and it was never a big deal. When he asked if he could kiss you at the bar, you said yes and didn't think anything of it. Maybe you should've though. Because not only did the kiss have you seeing stars, after pulling away he said: So a girl like you even gives pretty kisses.
And then you excused yourself to hide in the bushes until he went home.
Ever since that night, you stopped seeing Wonwoo as your awkward, quiet friend. The anxiety buddy system that the two of you developed (and the reason for the timer system), now keeps giving you anxiety.
And you've had enough. Tonight this whole thing is going to be addressed, even if you have to talk about it while breathing through a paper bag.
You stretch out your limbs, rolling wrists and ankles at the end of it - then head to the bathroom to wash off. As you gather supplies your phone buzzes in a few short bursts.
(1) New Message: Wonwoo
"I'm kinda nervous about this."
No matter what's going on between you two, the friendship you share is important.
You twist the shower handle and set your own timer before typing out a reply.
"I'll be there in 19 minutes Woo."
"Appreciate you pretty girl."
Okay, the friendship is important for sure but, as soon as you stand in front of Wonwoo's door - your stomach starts doing acrobatics that jump up the back of your throat.
You're grateful that you always hang out as his place though. Yours is on the third floor and his is on the first. It feels important to be as close to the ground as possible right now.
For the past month, you've found yourself dressing up to see Wonwoo. Doing full eye looks, trying different hairstyles. Even putting together new outfits - with clothes you bought but never wear.
Tonight is different. You're wearing your rattiest over-sized hoodie, work out shorts and no make-up.
Your theory is this: maybe he's only been kissing you because you've been putting in the extra effort. If he see's you in your natural state, and things go back to normal, then it should be easier to let this whole thing go. Theoretically.
This slight semblance of a plan brings you strength... until Wonwoo swings the door open. He smells woody and clean, with his dark hair a little mussed up. It's frustrating that he makes an over-sized white t-shirt and gray sweatpants feel like a scandalous outfit. The way the shirt hangs off his broad shoulders and falls across his chest wipes the concept of language from your brain entirely.
You stare at each other like two surprised deer for a moment, then he steps back to beckon you inside.
"You're 3 minutes late - " you stop mid-walk to scowl at him. Your chin tilts up while his tilts down and the tips of his ears flush red before he pushes you the rest of the way in. "- But you look really beautiful. So I'll only apply a one minute penalty."
All of your movements suddenly feel mechanical and you mumble out a thank you.
You distract yourself by focusing on the penalty and sit criss-cross on his couch, letting your back rest against its arm. Whenever either of you starts to spiral from anxiety - a timer is set. "Penalties" for spiraling past the set time are usually things done together, like: breathing exercises, art projects, going on walks, etc…
After he joins you on the cushions he pulls one leg up - so that his body is turned towards you - and raises both eyebrows to lift his glasses.
"Do you not like it when I call you beautiful?" His deep voice is even and steady as ever.
As he waits for your answer the way he studies your face makes you incredibly aware of how bare it is.
"I do. You're just really handsome so it trips me up. If it's guided breathing can we use the app with the funny robot voices?" You grab onto your crossed ankles and look - literally anywhere except at him - as you speak.
Wonwoo blinks slowly a few times and his lips purse out to form a small 'o'. Then he clears his throat, "No, this penalty is for something different."
A warm hand rests on top of yours, still clasped around your ankles. His other brushes slightly damp hair away from your cheek and gently cradles your face.
And then it happens.
The hopeful spark in his eyes, the smallest hint of a shy smile. The tiniest tightening of his hold on you.
You forget how to breathe until his lips press against yours. The first kiss is sweet - slow, and drawn out - like he doesn't want it to end. With his hand covering yours, you can't reach out to touch him back - so the grip around your ankles tightens and he softly pulls your face closer. The feel of his lips moving against yours, every sound he's making - these become the only things you're aware of. The rest of the world just falls away.
He inches forward for the second kiss, just until his knee grazes your own. Your brain starts spinning from the additional contact and how he kisses you so assuredly. Both of his hands gently hold your face but he's pulling you in like he needs you closer.
The need to be closer goes unfulfilled though, your bodies remain frozen in place. There's an invisible line that neither of you can muster the courage to cross. An unspoken feeling that, this is as close as it can get.
The third kiss comes and ends too soon. There's a firmness, a finality that wasn't there with the first, and he hesitates before pulling away. When he does you attempt to lean forward with your eyes still closed, unaware that it's the last. Soft lips press against your forehead instead.
Both of your eyes fly open, suddenly aware of what just happened and no longer lost in it. Wonwoo stands with a swiftness you rarely see from him before you can catch a glimpse of his face.
"One minute penalty complete. Let's go to my room, I'll get the soju and stuff." The empty space next to you feels cold as he heads towards the kitchen.
You remain seated, reeling from the kisses and immediate change of pace. Your theory feels somewhat disproven but you don't feel any less confused. You're also pretty sure that he either mentally counted out a minute or has some next level internal clock.
Standing on shaky legs you ask the only question that won't turn you into a sweaty tomato. All you can see is his broad back as he rummages around in his fridge.
"Woo? Why'd you only go for a minute instead of three?"
A thunk is followed by a low, "ow" and Wonwoo turns to face you, rubbing his head.
Instead of a grimace of pain his eyebrows have disappeared underneath his bangs. And his hand keeps messing with his hair - fluffing it up - while his mouth opens and closes without a sound.
"I don't - I mean, I could - Did you want? What?" There's a breathlessness beneath his words and you can see his chest rise a little more rapidly. He's so cute when he gets flustered that it almost makes you blush.
You press your fingertips against your lips instead, feeling them pull into a smile.
"I'm just sayin', I wouldn't be opposed. Never mind. Need some help?"
Wonwoo beams a smile at you that makes your legs wobble.
"That's why you're here, right?"
You nod, smiling back at him as you walk over. Despite the look on your face, both hands ball into fists, inside your hoodie sleeves and out of sight.
It's a simple enough question, so why does the answer feel anything but?
Wonwoo's room is equivalent to a nest.
His bed barely fits in the room, with his gaming set-up at the foot of it. It's where the two of you hang out most often even when he's not sucked into a game.
The two of you are now sitting criss-cross on the bed - facing each other and just a little bit tipsy. Warm faces, easy laughter. Things feel like they always have.
Kind of.
"I'm sorry, you need my help with what?"
Wonwoo pouts at the question and pushes up his glasses.
"Piercing my nose. Wait, hold this for me." He extends his ramen towards you and you take it automatically, watching as he disappears into the closet.
"I'm eating some!"
You inform him as a courtesy, waiting for the usual - "Make me more!" - before taking a bite. You've gotten pretty good at mimicking him even though you just mouth along. Maybe you'll try saying it with him next time.
"I know you mimic me." Wonwoo's voice is suddenly right behind you and you choke on noodles, "We share all the time, you only tell me so you can be sassy. Here pretty, wear this."
He tosses a hoodie and sewing kit onto the bed then clambers back on.
"I'm already wearing a hoodie?" You pass the ramen over to him and wipe your mouth off with a sleeve. Wonwoo gives you a knowing look.
"You got it 14 years ago. And are blind to how dirty it gets." He takes a slurping bite, no chewing - looking incredibly smug.
Your gaze falls to your dingy sleeves and the holes near the wrists where you like to hook your thumbs through. You're not blind to it, you just like it.
"I'm not the blind one." you mutter and Wonwoo narrows his eyes.
Before he can add a snarky retort, you pick up the sewing kit and pop open the blue plastic case. "Alright. So. Why a nose piercing? And why ask me?" - you reach up to fiddle with the metal in your nose.
After Wonwoo first kissed you, your best friend came over to spend the night and encouraged your freaked out (impulsive) decision to give yourself double nose rings. One on each side. According to her, a new look would help you feel more like a badass. She also lovingly informed you that, "people don't even need eyes to see your crush on him."
Hm.
You glance up to see Wonwoo putting the empty container on his bedside table and catch the goofy way he dabs at his mouth with the back of his hand. The way you look at him feels different, softer than it does when you look at other people. A bashful look blooms on his face when he turns back to see you, and he rubs at the back of his neck - looking down at his lap.
"I think a nose ring would make me…feel more like a badass," the words make you blink in surprise, "And I want you to do it because you have experience. And I don't want a stranger that close to my face."
"Okay fair," you chuckle, "but you're a badass already. Is it for something specific? We need to sanitize the crap outta everything and maybe we should stop drinking…"
"No! Uh, let's split one more bottle. Also, you were a badass before you got yours. And maybe I need extra courage for…something."
Awkward tension fills the air between you, normally you and Wonwoo don't struggle with being straightforward.
"Okay well, uhh…let's split that bottle then." you force a laugh, scanning the room for the soju, but Wonwoo tut's at you.
"Ah ah ah. No. I'll get that. You? Put this on." he pats the hoodie on the bed with a raised eyebrow.
You start to grumble but realize midway that you completely forgot to put on a shirt before leaving your place. You try not to panic, keeping your gaze directed at the bed.
The hoodie he chose is your favorite one of his. It's all black except for his name on the back of it - looping across in white, cursive letters. He got into screen-printing a few years ago and made it himself. It's also the softest thing you've ever put on your body. Dammit.
"Fine, I'll put this on. Gimme the ramen and I'll throw it away when I'm out there. You need water or anything?" you sigh out the words, trying to steer away from any hint that you're shirtless.
In an effort to avoid his observant ass stare, you slide off the bed and flap your arms until your sleeves slide up your forearms. When you glance back at Wonwoo to grab the empty container - he's looking at you adoringly. Something like appreciation is mixed with…something you can't identify. It shines out of his eyes and makes your cheeks burn.
You snatch the ramen away from him and clear your throat, "Earth to Woo. Water or nah?" - yeah girl, that sounds badass.
A cheeky half-smile lifts across Wonwoo's face, "Water yeah. Thanks pretty. Why not change in here?" - although he looks shy, there's a hint of mischief under it.
Your brain short-circuits - Oh God, does he know?
"I forgot to put a shirt on cause your lying ass said you were nervous." - oops. Maybe you're a little more tipsy than you thought.
"I don't mind," the way Wonwoo looks at you makes your heart race, "And it wasn't a lie."
You pause, expecting him to continue. But he just looks up at you with an endearing smile.
If you were a cartoon, plumes of steam would be shooting out of both ears. But you're not. And this moment simultaneously feels too real and absolutely unbelievable.
So you spin on your heel instead, stomping your way to the kitchen - millions of thoughts are careening through your head but they're all about one person.
Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo.
"Lift your arms up. You're being so weird about this." Wonwoo huffs at you as he tugs the bottom of your beloved old hoodie.
"I'm being weird? Why do I have to be on your lap for this Woo?" you splutter and lean back. Trying (and failing) to act calm about what's happening.
Everything's been sanitized thoroughly, you both re-hydrated, and that last bottle of soju has undeniably hit hard.
When you finished with the preparations and returned to the bed together (he'd followed you out into the kitchen), Wonwoo slipped an arm around your waist and slid back against the pillows.
In an impossibly smooth motion he pulled you over to straddle his lap and is now attempting to help you change into his hoodie. He's helped you change before, and you've even changed in front of each other before. Usually though, your mutually reserved natures are there.
This is different.
You sit back on the tops of his thighs, using all of your willpower to ignore how muscular he is - and how it feels to be nearly engulfed by those muscles.
"I'm cold. This is warm. And soft." Wonwoo drops your hoodie and wraps both arms around your lower back. Your head's tilted up to look at the wall behind him and you don't see him turn his own before he rests it against your chest.
But you feel it.
And your heart's hammering so hard that it should be audible. There's no way he won't notice.
For some reason he doesn't say anything about it.
He just holds you like that until your heartbeat starts to calm.
Without thinking you wrap both arms around his neck and curve a wrist to hold his head, keeping him pressed against you.
"Okay Woo. If you lean back and close your eyes, I'll change. Are you sure you want me to pierce you like this?" you lean down and murmur into his hair.
He nods against you, "I told you pretty girl, I'm nervous." the words are muffled and vibrate down to your core.
You cling onto every inhibition you have and tuck your feet under his legs to stop yourself from moving up his lap.
"Soju was a good idea," Wonwoo shifts to smile up at you - eyes slightly hazy, "I think I'm ready now." And with that he lets his upper body fall back. At the last second you fling out both hands. One against the wall and the other behind his head so that he doesn't hurt it.
"Dammit," you've inadvertently pinned each other in place, "No more funny business! I'm tryna…tryna poke a hole in you man!"
As soon as you say it the two of you splutter out laughs. The shared tendency of exhaling through your noses first only spurns it on more. And when you let yourself rest, back on the tops of his thighs, Wonwoo slaps his hands over his glasses. A small smile tugs across his face, you feel a matching one on your own.
You yank off your raggedy hoodie to pull on his soft one and sanitize your hands once more. When you reach for the cotton pads - an awareness of Wonwoo's sudden silence grows.
"Left or right?" you wiggle your feet back under his legs again with a bit more confidence this time. His hoodie smells like him and even though he's the reason you feel so indescribable, wearing his clothes feels safe. Like it's protecting you and making you stronger.
Wonwoo leaves his hands over his eyes and rumbles out a deep, "left".
You communicate each step of the process to him in a low and easy tone. Knowing he can't see you gives you courage and you let your eyes travel slow in between. Appreciating each of his features. Feeling honored, maybe even a little special, that he trusts you to do this for him. That he wants you to be the one to do it.
The needle lightly pushes against his skin. He doesn't move a muscle.
"Okay Woo, let's take a deep breath together and I'ma push it through on the exhale. Want me to count?"
Wonwoo lowers his hands.
"Yeah. Can I hold onto your hips?" he asks sincerely and you nod. This deep breath is for the both of you.
Apparently he means under the hoodie. His hands are warm, sliding along your skin lightly until they settle into a comfortable grip. Maybe you should take two breaths.
"Alright, here we go. In-2-3-4 and out-2-3-"
"I like you."
The needle pierces through his nose. Earlier than you planned.
His grip around your hips tightens and he tries not to jerk from the pain. Your hands fly to hold the left side of his face and his right shoulder with an endless string of "I'm sorry's" falling out of your mouth. He sits up with the straightest posture and widest eyes you've ever seen from him. Both of his arms are solid as they circle around you - holding you against, and on him, with an unrelenting strength.
"Is this it?? Is it done??" the nervousness in his voice rings out clear as a bell and although you want to calm him down - his confession has you spiraling.
"No!! I need to get the ring and put it in!! And quickly!! Wonwoo, why'd you say that?? You know I like you too that was the worst timing!! Scooch back again so I can reach it please." your eyes focus over his shoulder, aimed at the jewelry on his bedside. He wiggles back quickly and you hold his face with both hands - keeping him from moving the needle as best you can.
Both of your faces have matching pink features. Being so close to each other is making your heart race beyond reason. You grab the nose ring, remove the needle, twist the hoop through and close the open end of it. Last time you did this it took you pliers and another person's help to close the metal on your own. Adrenaline really is no joke.
For a moment you breathe a sigh of relief, "Alright Woo. Now it's done." - but the moment doesn't last long because Wonwoo doesn't say anything. Or look at you. His right cheek presses against your chest again and you can feel his heart pound against your stomach.
"Woo?" you ask worriedly. Pushing some of his hair back as you do.
Then it hits you.
That little moment where you told him that you like him too. And how you both just confessed.
Your heart falls back down to your ass as you try to make sense of what just happened.
Both of you are frozen until Wonwoo's hands push your hips back down to sit in his lap. Fully this time. Closer than you were before. The familiar height difference returns and now your head is chest level.
Cautiously, you peek up at him.
His eyes are dazed in between slow blinks. Silver metal glints under the low light of the lamps near his bed. It doesn't look angry or too red. It looks good on him, damn good. Your hands slip to the collar of his shirt and clutch at it unconsciously. Relief is brief.
This isn't how you wanted this to go. Or how you wanted to confess. To be honest, these feelings felt impossible to accept until just a few moments ago.
"I'm sorry Woo, I didn't think I just -" Wonwoo's lips crash against yours with a ferocity that leaves you breathless. You're not really sorry you said it at all. You do like him. Oh my god, do you like him. And he likes you too? You want to argue against it, or find some reason for doubt but, doubt has no place in this moment. He's never kissed you like this before, that line you were both too scared to cross earlier this evening has disappeared completely. You cling to each other with a desperation, a desire that needs to be explored.
But Wonwoo pulls away again.
"I didn't think a pretty girl like you would -" you cut him off with a quick kiss. It's the first time you've initiated and the tops of his cheeks glow neon pink.
"I didn't think a pretty boy like you would either." the matching smiles come easy now. Like a weight has been lifted.
Wonwoo wiggles his nose before taking a breath through it. You watch him adjust to the new sensation. Feeling mesmerized and bubbly.
"So, how's it look?" his lips press together, trying to refrain from stretching into a smile.
"I think it looks pretty badass."