Intoxicating Studies

by PleaseGiveMeAPenName

Summary:

There were many things about humans and their various behaviors that puzzled Fl4k. They'd given up on trying to understand a lot of them. Things like mating rituals and the use of various substances to induce intoxication were both things where, even if they asked, all they got were vague non answers or conflicting answers.

But, after the Heist of the Handsome Jackpot, they and their pack were sifting through loot, and amongst Freddie's things, they found something curious. A modification that claimed to allow robots to utilize drugs and alcohol along with humans.

Perhaps they could finally figure out for themself why humans enjoyed intoxication so much

Notes:

This is. Very much NOT a serious fic. I don't know why I'm doing this if I'm being honest but here ya go

Chapter 1: Alcohol

Humans were....confusing.

Fl4k had always felt this way, and spending more time around humans without killing them had only cemented this fact further. While some things made more sense now, admittedly, they had discovered a whole host of nonsensical things they hadn't encountered before.

The needless complications of various human mating rituals would never cease to astound them, for one. They had all but given up trying to figure THAT out, because it seemed like everyone they asked had different ideas on what different things meant and what things should or shouldn't be done to attract a mate. Romantic and sexual orientations made perfect sense to them, but the various methods of attracting mates? Absolutely incoherent. Too many different methods and too many different reasons for those methods.

In the opposite direction, there was human's enjoyment of intoxication. They weren't capable of being intoxicated, and after having the feelings of intoxication explained, did not understand why anyone would choose to engage in it. Sure, while there were a handful of beasts out there that would purposely seek intoxication, dolphins coming to mind, none did so as prolifically as humans did. Humans had not only found as many natural sources of intoxication as they could, but had manufactured many more substances that could be used for it. Many of them were made specifically for the purpose of intoxication. But when they asked why people enjoyed it....the typical answer they received was a shrug and 'you wouldn't get it unless you tried it' or 'some people just like that.' A complete non-answer.

They'd thought that they'd never have the ability to find an answer for that. But apparently human's dedication to the use of intoxicating substances had led them to even build robot parts to allow bots to partake as well. They had found it on the Handsome Jackpot, amongst Freddie's things. Labeled as a 'Party-bot' mod, it boasted the capacity to give a robot the ability to be affected by any human drug, including alcohol. At first they'd been baffled, and were about to throw it away, when...they remembered the various non-answers they'd gotten on the subject of humans enjoying intoxication. 'You wouldn't get it unless you tried it.' Well....here sat an opportunity for them to try it.

They tucked the part into one of their countless pockets. They'd install it back upon Sanctuary. They'd installed many different modifications to themself over the years. An archival indexing unit as is wasn't exactly built for Hunting, after all. They'd had to install, remove, and modify countless parts. Adding this would be no different. It seemed like it would link up to their biofuel intake mod quite well.

They'd install it, and then go through a list of the most commonly found intoxicating substances they knew of. Perhaps it could give them some insight into human nature.


--

---

--

Installing it had taken slightly longer than they'd initially guessed, but that was at least partially because Mr Chew had eaten their wrench. Again. So they'd had to borrow one from Moze.

The first substance on their list to try was alcohol. It was by far the most easily accessible, and seemed to be the one humans enjoyed the most. They had several options for where to get it, the most obvious option being Moxxi's bar aboard the ship. However....they weren't too keen on the idea of being surrounded by drunk people while trying to figure out what being drunk felt like for themself. It would be far too distracting. They'd rather have a quiet environment. Or....at least, less loud.

Which led them to knocking on Zane's door after they returned Moze's wrench to her, lest that one find itself in the belly of Mr Chew as well. The Operative was a habitual drinker, it was rare that a single day passed without the man consuming at least a small amount of alcohol. He was sure to have plenty in his room. As a fellow Vault Hunter and Pack Member, he was also sure to be willing to give them some.

"Just a second!!" he called from within. There was some clattering, and a muffled curse before the door opened, revealing Zane. A grin was quick to spread across his face. "Fl4k, mate, how's it goin? Listen, if this is about that Rowan's Call, I already told ya-"

"It is not about that. Though I am still irritated over it. I wanted to ask if I could have some of your alcohol."

Zane's grin morphed into a look of confusion. ".....okay I'm tryin to think of what you could possibly want alcohol for and I've got nothin."

"On the casino, I found a modification for myself. I want to see just what it is about being intoxicated that humans enjoy so much."

Zane's confusion turned back into a grin. "Did you now? Well come on in!!! I got juuust the thing for ya if you're lookin to get shitefaced!!!"

Fl4k followed the man into his room, looking around at the cluttered state of it. Gadgets and parts were spread across the table, and empty bottles were scattered everywhere. The table, the shelves, even a few in a corner. Their own room was much messier, of course, but....well....they also had a spiderant, a skag, and a jabber in there with them. The state of Zane's room really showcased just how scatterbrained the operative was.

Speaking of, he was rustling around in one of the cabinets. Fl4k sat down in one of the chairs by the table, waiting for him to find whatever he was looking for. Quietly, they hoped that whatever he pulled out at least tasted good, limited though their taste receptors may be.

"Ah HA! Here we are!!!" he pulled out a nondescript jar filled with a clear liquid. "This'll do the job better than anything else! Poitín, made it meself. Strongest drink aboard this ship, I guarantee it."

Fl4k....wasn't sure how trustworthy this beverage was. But, then again, it wasn't like they could be poisoned. "....you make your own alcohol?"

"Eehhh, not often. I just have this for when a pint just doesn't quite cut it. Either way, you're lucky, bot-o, I don't share this with just anyone! Hang on, let me get a couple glasses out..."

He rustled around in another cabinet a bit before bringing out two chipped, worn looking glasses. He poured a small amount in each one, and slid one to Fl4k. It smelled....strong. They took a sip of it, and squinted their one eye in distaste. It was awful.

"So? Whaddaya think?" Zane asked.

They looked down at the glass in their hand, then back at Zane. "I believe the appropriate expression here would be 'it tastes like ass'."

Zane snorted "Okay, fine, it can be an....acquired taste....and also I'm not actually very good at this yet, but still. It does the job just fine! Drink up!!!"

Despite the awful taste, Fl4k did indeed 'drink up'. They took smaller sips at a time, wanting to have a chance to feel the different stages of drunkeness. At first, they didn't notice much. A very slight fog in their thought process. The fog got...thicker, though. As if they had thoughts, but couldn't quite parse them out. An odd sensation. Their senses dulled slightly as well. Poor form for a Hunter, but at least it made the liquor more bearable.

Their glass was empty before they even really realized it. Zane was rosy cheeked, definitely drunk. Though he was still yammering away. Even Meat Thief was less talkative than Zane was. As Zane continued on, Fl4k noticed that....they were getting hot. It wasn't often that they felt overheated, but it was sure happening now. Why Zane's room was so hot they didn't know, but they could figure it out later, when their cooling fans weren't practically in overdrive.

Even though they were getting too hot, they didn't want to leave just yet. The only solution left was to remove their coat. They didn't like going without it, both for the utility of all of their pockets, but also because they didn't like how small they looked without it. Their frame just wasn't very intimidating without the massive garment giving the illusion of more bulk. With a small sigh, Fl4k shrugged off their coat. The air felt remarkably cooler without it, so the relief was worth it.

".....huh, yknow, I...always forget....that ye look like that under that big jacket o yours." Zane said. His speech was noticeably slurring.

"...That's the point. To some extent. The other point is...pockets." They were a bit confused at their own voice. There was....almost a layer of static in it? Were they hearing themself right? Were they imagining it? They couldn't think clearly. It was troublesome.

Zane laughed a bit. "Yer voice! Ye sound like a radio wit a shite signal!!!"

So they weren't imagining it. Odd. "Do I?"

"Ha! Yeah! 'S feckin hilarious!" he laughed some more. "Also, you alright there? Yer whirrin louder'n one o Ellie's cars"

Fl4k nodded. "I am simply....very hot. Why do you keep your room heated so high?"

"What're you on about? 'S the same temperature as your room. As....all the rooms, really."

Oh....really? It certainly didn't feel like that. In fact...the relief from removing their coat was fading. They were feeling overheated again. They could take off their pants, but....well. Despite them not having any sort of genitalia, people would act strangely over such an act. They didn't want to deal with that. But also they really didn't want to keep their pants on. They should go back to their own room.

"Strange...it doesn't feel like that. I think I'm done here now, I am going to return to my own room. Thank you for this, Zane."

They moved to stand up, but apparently that was a terrible decision. The floor felt like it was moving beneath their feet, and the whole room was spinning slightly. They managed to stand, but barely kept from falling forward by keeping a strong grip on Zane's table. The spinning was making them nauseated. The last time they'd felt anything like that was when they landed on Promethea. This was deeply unpleasant.

Before they could attempt to straighten up on their own, they felt an arm wrap around their back and a hand on their chest, supporting them.

"'S okay, I got ya. Let's get you to yer room, eh, bot-o?" Zane said, from much closer than before.

"...I can walk on my own." they didn't need assistance with something as simple as walking. They just needed the room to stop spinning and the floor to stop moving was all.

"Sure, sure, I hear ya. Let's go now..."

Fl4k could only grumble unintelligible protests as they were helped out by Zane. Luckily there was no one else around to see their state of inebriation. Also luckily they didn't have to go far as their room was right next to Zane's. As their door opened, Broodless perked up and scuttled over, chittering at their feet even as they dragged them across the floor. Mr Chew and Meat Thief were deep in sleep, which was probably a good thing. They were having a difficult enough time not tripping over the spiderant.

Zane helped them over to their bed, and once they hit it's surface they slumped down on it. It was relieving to not feel the floor moving anymore. Unfortunately, the room was still spinning. They closed their eye, hoping to combat the nausea, but it didn't help much. Everything was still too hot. Fl4k heard some rattling around, then the crashing of something falling to the floor before Zane was back and handing them a bucket.

"Okay so, I am...pretty sure that you can't puke but....uh....just in case. You have a bucket now." he said.

".....what was in it?"

"Some...metal bits? No idea, I wasn't payin attention."

"....if Mr Chew eats them I will blame you."

"Okay, okay, fine, fair enough. Wee beastie's sleepin now though so it should be fine, yeah? Anyways! You have a good night, Fl4k!"

They grumbled something in reply....they weren't sure what. But pretty quickly they heard their door close again and they knew Zane was gone. Good, they were still feeling far too hot. They set the bucket aside, and shifted awkwardly to get their pants off. Frustratingly, they got caught on their clawed foot. After what felt like several minutes of trying and failing to disentangle it, they huffed and gave up. Their dexterity was in shambles.

Fl4k grabbed the bucket once more and proceeded to lay down. They still felt far too warm, and without Zane's talking filling the air, they could hear all their cooling fans whirring loudly. They weren't sure why they kept the bucket, since they physically could not vomit. After a few moments, Broodless jumped up with them, chittering once more. They reached up to stroke her carapace.

"Hello, girl...."

Now that they were laying down....they were feeling quite tired. Sleep called to them like it rarely did. Perhaps resting would be a good idea....hopefully by the time they woke, they would no longer be drunk. They decidedly did not like this feeling. As Fl4k drifted into sleep, they idly felt Broodless settle down next to them.

Sadly, waking was not the reprieve they'd thought it would be. Sure, they no longer felt drunk....but now every joint felt stiff, and they were even more nauseated than before. They opened their eye, and even in the dim lighting of their room that was a mistake. Everything felt so bright that it hurt.

Fl4k tried to run through their memory of the night previous, and found it....foggy. They remembered going to Zane to try alcohol, and that the swill he gave them tasted terrible, but...details were scarce. They vaguely remembered feeling overheated and nauseous, and that the room was spinning....but not much else. They slowly sat up, Broodless waking and climbing off them as they moved. Something felt....off.

They looked down at themself and saw that....at some point, they had entirely undressed. Their pants were stuck on their clawed foot, for some reason. Pushing aside the confusion, Fl4k disentangled their foot and pulled their pants back on. If they'd been overheating, it made sense that they'd removed their coat. They reached for where they normally hung it up when they took it off, only to meet empty air.

Where the hell was their coat.

Fl4k took a moment to reflect on this whole experience, and promptly decided that they still didn't understand why humans enjoyed getting drunk.

Chapter 2: Marijuana

Notes:

Here we go another chapter in whatever this is lmao

Just as a note this is like 90% based off my own experience.
I am. Very accustomed to weed.

A few days later, and Fl4k decided it was time to move to the next substance on the list.

Marijuana.

Frankly, they had slightly higher hopes for this one, as supposedly it was very mild. Or, at the very least, it wasn't considered dangerous at all. Overconsumption of alcohol had killed many people, but the same could not be said of marijuana. Perhaps this one wouldn't make them feel the overwhelming need to vomit while being incapable of such a thing.

It was less easily accessed than alcohol, but thankfully they knew a source who had it. Moze. She didn't seem to use it very often, seemingly due to wanting to be prepared to move out at a moments notice....but whenever they all had a few days break, the smell of the smoke would waft from her door. Today seemed to be one of those days, as Fl4k could smell it before they even knocked.

A few moments after knocking, and the door slid open, revealing a messy haired Moze. Her sclera were slightly reddened, eyes narrowed slightly, but otherwise alert.

"Oh, hey Fl4k, what's up? You need one of my tools again?"

"Not this time. Do you have any marijuana you could spare?"

Moze seemed baffled for a moment before her expression gave way to clarity. "Ooohhh right, right. Zane told me about that mod you found with Freddie's stuff. Yeah, come on in. I have a little bit."

Moze turned and walked back into her room, Fl4k following. She appeared to be in the middle of working on one of Iron Bear's miniguns, the massive weapon sitting on a large repair mount. The gunner reached over to one of the barrels on it and pulled out a small object, bringing it to her lips and taking a breath from it. Once finished, she held it out to them.

"Here you go. I dunno how exactly that mod works, but....just take a small puff at first?" she said.

Fl4k didn't move to take it. They knew how they'd use it, but...there was a problem. "....it's rather pungent. Do you have any that smells....less bad?"

Moze withdrew the joint and took another puff, blowing the smoke away from them. "Right...sorry, the smell barely registers to me anymore. Uuuhh....gimme a sec, I think I still have one...."

She put the joint back in the barrel of the minigun and moved to rustle through a cupboard. They hoped she found whatever she was looking for quickly. They didn't want the smell to seep into their coat. Their beasts may not react favorably to the smell of it. After a few moments, she withdrew something and came back.

"Okay here we go. It's....a little stale, but should still be okay." She handed them a small brown block wrapped in plastic. A brownie, it seemed. "So, definitely don't eat the whole thing at once. Take a bite, then wait a little while. If it's not hitting hard enough, then take another bite. It takes longer than you'd think for it to kick in. At-at least, if it works the same for you as it does for a human."

Fl4k looked down at the unassuming confectionery. "I see. Thank you. I'll be going, now."

Moze nodded and turned back to the minigun. "Sure thing, just shout or come get me or something if you need anything."

They left, returning to their own room. The smell from Moze's smoking lingered slightly, but not too badly at least. Sitting down at their table, they unwrapped the brownie. It was a bit hard, and crumbled slightly as they tore a small piece off and ate it. They assumed that the time frame for when it began affecting them would be the same for a human, as that had been the case with the alcohol.

They wrapped the brownie back up and slipped it into one of their pockets, intent on waiting as Moze had suggested. She...hadn't said exactly how long it would take. Just longer than they'd think. Oh well. There was plenty they could do to occupy themself while waiting. Broodless' sand box needed to be cleaned out, after all.

A little over twenty minutes later, and the sand box held fresh sand. Fl4k still felt completely normal. Curious. They'd expected to begin feeling something while in the midst of that task, but nothing had changed. It had been much longer than they'd thought it would take, so they must not have taken a large enough dose to affect them. They took the brownie back out and took another bite. They'd wait another twenty or so minutes. Surely by then something would happen.

Another twenty minutes passed and still, nothing. Either they still hadn't taken a large enough dose, or the intoxicating properties had a shelf life and the brownie was past that point. After a few moments of deliberation, they came to the conclusion that consuming the remaining two thirds of the brownie would be the best course of action. It would either finally be a large enough dose, or it would prove to be inert and they could just go to Moze and tell her as much.

Ten minutes after they consumed the rest of it, and they began to feel it's effects.

A very light haze in their thought processes. The thoughts were still clear, but it seemed to take a moment to fully process them. Different than the alcohol, where the thoughts themselves were muddled. Their senses were slightly dulled, but sharpened up if they focused on them. A vague sense of....relaxation, for lack of a better word. This...wasn't too bad.

Twenty minutes later and the effects intensified.

Their thoughts, while still mostly clear, were slower to process. In general, they felt...slower. It became more difficult to focus their senses, and to focus in general. Their thoughts drifted in strange directions, making seemingly random leaps to different topics, but...there was definitely a chain of thought, there. How did Moze do work on Iron Bear while feeling like this? It seemed like it would make that kind of work difficult. Perhaps she was simply used to it, like Zane was used to functioning while mildly drunk. Or maybe....something. They lost track of that thought.

....what would their beasts be like intoxicated?

Their mind suddenly conjured up the image of Mr Chew sharing a joint with Moze, and the idea was very funny for some reason. They couldn't help but laugh quietly at it.

So on it went. At some point they'd sat down on the floor. They weren't sure exactly when that happened, but it didn't matter. Despite how....strange they felt, this was already much preferable to being drunk. They weren't overheating like this.

Twenty minutes after that, and they felt a sense of creeping doom.

It took Fl4k a few moments to realize what was going on. To realize that it took much, much longer for the brownie to take effect than they'd thought. That when they first started feeling affected....that that had been from the first bite.

The effects from the remainder practically crashed over them like a wave. No longer were their thoughts coherent. Everything was drowned in a fuzzy haze. Everything felt very strange, as well. Like somehow they were not present in their own body, but at the same time were. It almost felt like they were listing to the side. Which side, they had no idea, but they felt it all the same. The room was spinning, like with the alcohol, but...different.

The floor and ceiling seemed to be spinning in different directions. They felt slightly nauseated. Laying down flat on their back on the floor didn't help much. But at least they no longer felt like they were tipping over. Time had no meaning. How long had they been lying there? A few minutes? A few hours? They had no idea. They supposed they could move to check their ECHO, but....their limbs felt heavy. Like the threadbare rug was gripping on to them. If their thoughts drifted away from moving, then they couldn't even feel their limbs, somehow losing track of them. They could move, if they really tried....but for some reason they didn't.

Distantly, they felt a weight settle on them. Looking down, they saw Mr Chew sprawled atop them, head tilted curiously. Laboriously, they lifted a hand and patted him on the head. They half expected to miss, or otherwise fail in the simple act, but the pat was successful. The skag made a contented gurgle and settled down further.

Another period of unknown time passed, and they vaguely heard a knock at their door. They couldn't get up to answer it. Both because Mr Chew was on them, and also because they were pretty sure that if they tried they'd fall over.

"...come in" they called out.

Fl4k couldn't see the door, gaze locked on the spinning ceiling but heard the door open. It was Moze's voice that spoke up.

"....uh....are....are you okay?" she asked.

 It took them a moment to piece together an answer. "...I am unsure"

"...why are you on the floor?"

They weren't entirely certain. But they managed to cobble together a partial reason. ".......the floor and ceiling are spinning in opposite directions. It is....disorienting."

"...Fl4k, how much of that brownie did you take? "

"Just one bite...." they paused. "....then it did nothing so I took another...."

Moze cursed quietly. "Seriously? I told you it'd-"

"and then that did nothing so I ate all of it."

"Dammit Fl4k you motherfucker I told you not to eat the whole damn thing!!!"

"....I thought it was expired"

Moze heaved a sigh. "Okay, okay, we can talk about this when you aren't greened out. Cmon. Up on your feet."

"...I do not think that's wise."

Moze cursed again before walking over to sit down next to them. "Yeah, okay, fair enough. Guess I'll just...stick around, then."

Something she'd said stuck out to Fl4k. They couldn't for the life of them construct their curiosity into a coherent question, though. So all that came out was "....I'm green?"

Moze sighed. "No- well. Sort of. I mean, your coat is....not the point, not what I meant. 'Greened out' basically means you're way too high. Way too much marijuana at once. I'll explain it more once you're actually capable of understanding it."

They really wanted to know now, but....well, they were only half processing everything she was saying. "....okay."

It took a long while for the effects to begin to dull. As their mind slowly cleared and began running at closer to its regular speed, Moze explained what had happened. Apparently, it took roughly an hour for edible marijuana to take effect. They wished she would have told them that before.

While it hadn't been awful in the beginning....it had quickly morphed into another deeply unpleasant experience. Fl4k decided that they didn't want to repeat it. How anyone enjoyed that was beyond their understanding.

Chapter 3: MDMA

Notes:

Okay SO
The previous two chapters I wrote based on my own personal experiences.
This one, however, I have zero personal experience with.
I'm a lot more uncertain as to the accuracy of this one compared to the other two.
Anyways I am big time grateful to erowid bc without that I would have zero clue how to write any of this. I think I read at least two dozen entries before I started writing this.

Despite the two substance use experiences they'd had thus far having been awful, Fl4k found themself continuing down their list anyways. This time, they were going to try something that didn't act as a depressant. Perhaps they simply didn't like depressants. The alcohol had just been all around unpleasant, whereas the marijuana hadn't been terrible in the beginning. There were a couple stimulants on their list, and the one they decided to attempt first was known by many names. For simplicity, they were simply going to use the term 'molly.'

This one was more difficult to find. It was ubiquitous in "nightclubs", but they highly doubted they'd be able to tolerate an environment like that long enough and well enough to find a human who'd sell them some. The other issue with it was that it was more difficult to obtain "pure" molly. It was often laced with various other substances. Dangerous for humans, but simply irritating for Fl4k. They wanted to test molly, not some unknown cocktail.

They asked a few of the Promethean residents aboard Sanctuary, the urbanity of the planet making it seem a good place to find some, and found out about a very....strange source.

Claptrap.

How the bot had managed to obtain it was beyond anyone's guess, but apparently he had a pretty pure yet somehow steady supply of the stuff. He tried to sell it for exorbitant prices, though, so very few actually purchased from him. They just took it instead. Though, against all odds, most people felt somewhat bad stealing from the obnoxious robot, so they left some money behind anyways. Nowhere near what he demanded, but it was still compensation.

Fl4k simply waited until Claptrap was away from his little hovel of a closet and took a single dose from one of the small packets he had hidden in a corner.

The little capsule was half yellow, with a small smiley printed on it. The other half was clear, and they could see that it was filled with an off white powder. They turned it over in their fingers and watched the powder. It didn't look like much, but....looks could be incredibly deceiving. Due to their experience with the marijuana, they were only going to take this singular dose of the drug. They didn't want any sort of repeat of taking too much of anything.

They sat in their quarters, and consumed the pill. From what little they'd been able to find out about this one, the effects lasted for many hours. Much longer than alcohol or marijuana. It had taken some time for them to make sure they'd have at least two days free. While Fl4k didn't know exactly how they'd be affected, they knew that it would be a bad idea to go out and try to fight while intoxicated.

Similarly to the edible marijuana, the molly seemed to take some time to begin taking effect. It was about an hour before they noticed any sort of difference. It was....odd. They simultaneously felt more relaxed, and like they had to move. So they did. They got up from their seat at the table, and paced around a bit.

Ever so slowly, the effects heightened. Colors seemed to brighten. Light seemed more....tangible and solid. Falling in sheets, draping over the scenery. The sound of their feet on the hard metal floor created a pleasing rhythm that was felt through their entire frame. The feeling of their coat shifting across their body was intensified, but in a way that was....pleasurable.

Their pacing woke Meat Thief from his nap, and the jabber stared at them curiously. They approached him and ran a hand through his mane of fur. It was startling just how soft the beast was. They could practically feel every individual strand brushing through their fingers, all of them weaving together to create such a beautiful texture. Meat Thief leaned into the touch, and Fl4k was struck with the very sudden and profound realization of how connected they were to their beasts. The level of trust that all of them had in one another...Fl4k may be their alpha, they may look to them for guidance, but in reality they were equal. They all shared in The Hunt, and looked after each other, protecting one another and giving aid when needed. They simply sat with that realization for a bit, letting it sink in.

A few minutes later, they noticed....a very strange sensation. They'd felt something similar, once. Of a veil being lifted. A radio starting at static and being slowly tuned to clarity. A filter they didn't know was there being removed. Of walking out of a cave and seeing the true world for the first time.

It felt like the moment they'd gained their self awareness and cast off the shackles of being but a simple archival unit.

The transcendence, the feeling of...freedom, of purpose. Of understanding things they didn't realize they hadn't understood before. It was the same.

But this....this time was also different. Along with that startling clarity, they felt....joyous. They were convinced that if they had a mouth, it would be stuck in a wide grin. The pure euphoria was....overwhelming, almost.

They thought back to their realization of equality with their beasts. With the added clarity, they realized that....not only were they one with their pets, but they were one with the rest of their team as well. Their Pack. All of them, watching out for one another, caring for one another, finding such joy in The Hunt, even if they did not always recognize it as such. They were all the same. Any social barriers that existed were mere constructs, paper thin.

Age had no bearing, neither did gender, or planet of origin, or parentage, or even species. They were all One.

Did their friends and Packmates know this? Were they aware? Did they know just how deeply they all mattered to them?

Fl4k thought about it and was almost horrified to realize that they weren't sure. They'd never expressed the bond they felt very clearly. That needed to change. Immediately.

They didn't hesitate to leave their room, Meat Thief having fallen back asleep a few minutes ago. They wouldn't disturb the slumber of their beasts. As soon as they stepped out, though, they stopped in their tracks in awe. Everything was beautiful. The lights all layered over each other, practically glittering and happily blending with each other. From the light fixtures above the tables to the bottle light strings hanging overhead in blue and emerald, to the bright, inviting neon of the sign welcoming the denizens of Sanctuary III.

Looking out the window to the stars nearly made them collapse to their knees. The stars....so many of them. Some stalwart and unchanging, others pulsing and glimmering, creating a gorgeous tapestry of the universe. They had no idea how long they stared out that window, contemplating life itself. If they were no different from their friends and Packmates....if they were all equal, all One...what about the rest of the universe? What was it that distanced themself from something such as a star? Was it merely consciousness? Or were they still the same? Just different pieces of One Whole?

"Uuuhh...Fl4k? Are you alright?" a voice called, from behind them.

They were torn from their existential musings by it, and turned to face the source. The glowing blue tattoos all up and down her arms were mesmerizing. It was a bit of a struggle to not lose themself in the beauty.

"Hello, Amara. Yes, I'm perfectly alright. Why do you ask?"

"You've been standing there staring out the window for about twenty minutes." she stepped closer and looked them in the eye a bit confusedly. "....and your eye is very bright right now. Are you sure you're alright?"

Their eye was bright? Strange. It was too bad they couldn't see it, it would probably look wonderful with the rest of the lights everywhere. But more importantly, Amara was here. They could tell her what they needed to.

"I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. Come here, I must tell you something."

Amara stepped closer, almost dubiously. Fl4k realized that she...was not on the same plane of existence as them. She couldn't see what they could at the moment. Which was a bit sad.

"Amara, I've never told you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me. All of us....all of us are the same. I am infinitely glad that we've all bonded so closely...." something was missing. Fl4k knew exactly what it was. They reached out and gently grabbed her, slowly pulling her into a hug.

"...uuuhhhh....." she said.

The hug was incredible. Was this what hugging was always like? If so, they'd been sorely missing out. Such closeness, it was incredible. Everyone deserved such joy. ".....this is love. I am sure of it. For all of you. My beasts, my fellow Vault Hunters, the entirety of the Crimson Raiders. All of you deserve to know this."

Amara slowly pulled out of their embrace, and they allowed it, even as they quickly grew to miss the contact. "ooooookaaaay, I hadn't been sure of it before, but now it's obvious that you need to go to bed. I was told about your little experiments with drugs, and while I have no idea what you're on, you need to sleep it off. Come on, now."

Sleep it off? Sleep seemed like such an impossible concept right then. "I do not need sleep."

"I think you do. I'd get you to drink water too, but...well..."

"....while I can technically do that, it would not help anything."

"I know. But still. Whatever you're on, you should sleep it off."

Fl4k was about to protest again, but Amara grabbed their hand and began gently leading them to their room. It was touching how much she cared, how much she wished to aid them, but she didn't understand. They really would not be able to sleep, they just knew it. As they got to their door, the one next to theirs opened up and Zane stepped out, looking at them curiously.

"....what's all this then?" he asked.

Fl4k broke away from Amara's grip and walked over to Zane. He needed to be told too. They started with laying their hands on Zane's shoulders, and the texture was incredible. They lightly rubbed the man's shoulders as they looked him in the eye, that feeling of joyous connection coursing through their entire system.

"Zane....you are very important to me. A valued friend and member of my pack. I needed you to know this." Honestly, Zane deserved a hug too. "Come closer....I desire skinship."

They pulled Zane into their arms, and heard the man snort a bit in laughter. "Aaahh, I love ya too, Fl4k."

The Operative was returning the embrace, unlike Amara, and he gave their back a hearty pat. The sensation was incredible, and they couldn't help but groan at the feeling. It sent shockwaves throughout their entire being, leaving ripples of warmth behind.

"...oookay, this is a bit weird now. I think I'm done." Zane withdrew, and Fl4k allowed it, though like with Amara, they immediately missed the contact. Zane looked into their eye, seemingly thinking very hard before something seemed to connect. "....yer on ecstasy, ain't ya?"

"I believe the specific term is 'molly'." they replied.

Zane nodded. "Yeah, that tracks. Oi, Amara, they ain't gonna be goin to sleep anytime soon. This shite's gonna keep em up for a while."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. Didn't you say you grew up in the slums? Shouldn't you know this?"

Amara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I was busy beating down all the drug lords who were making it. I wasn't paying attention to what people on these drugs were like."

"...eh, fair enough. Alright! Fl4k attack! Let's get you into my room for a bit, then. Amara, you can come too if ye want, it's sure to be fun to watch Fl4k like this."

Zane took their hand in his and gently tugged them along. Once more, the touch was electric, and the sensation traveled far past the point of contact. They happily followed, and were immediately awed by the waves of bright blue light covering the room. Had Zane's room always had such gorgeous lighting? Had they just never appreciated it before?

"Okay, bot-o, I've got a reeeeal treat for ye here...." Zane said.

Fl4k only tore their gaze from the lights when they heard a sharp snap, and looked to the source. Zane was holding two glowsticks in his hand, and if Fl4k had a jaw it would have dropped open. The light was absolutely gorgeous. The bright gold and blue bled off of them, mixing with the blue of the rest of the lights delightfully. Then Zane waved them through the air, and the trail of liquid fire that followed behind them through the air was unlike anything they'd ever seen.

"Cmon, you wanna try it?"

"Yes....yes, I very much do."

Fl4k took the glowsticks from Zane, and waved them through the air, eye following the trail of light they left behind. They tossed one up, letting it flip in the air before catching it once more, and laughed a bit in delight at the light show.

"....okay, two questions. One, why are they so mesmerized by glowsticks, and two, why did you have glowsticks?" Amara asked.

Fl4k glanced her way and was once more struck by how beautiful the glow emanating from her siren tattoos was. It mixed with the blue light flooding Zane's room perfectly, the two different shades of blue complimenting and enhancing each other.

"Oh, light of any sort looks absolutely crazy if yer on what they are. Oooohh, just wait, watch this!"

A few seconds later and some music began playing. Fl4k typically didn't enjoy music much. It wasn't bad, but they didn't see what was so great about it. Now, though....the music that played through the speakers was transcendent. Everything had so many layers, and they all created a beautiful harmony. Everything felt so deep, and they understood. They sat still, taking it in, for only a few moments. Then they realized....they could take part in it. They could add to the masterpiece, not with sound, no, the flowing electronic music had plenty of that. They could add motion and light.

For the very first time they could recall in their life, Fl4k danced. They could feel every sound reverberate through their body, practically telling them how to move. Waving the glowsticks with the rhythm, head and shoulders bobbing to the beat, and they laughed.

"This is EXHILIRATING!!"

They heard Zane laughing as well, and the man was dancing a bit himself. The bond they had was so strong, they felt they hadn't understood the true depth until that day.

"Hell yeah!!! Dance, you funky robot!!!!" Zane said.

They did, oh how they danced. Everything was filling them with such joy, and it was amazing. After a while, they simply lost themself in the beat and rhythm of the music, the songs all bleeding into one another. They had no idea how long they were dancing for, but after a while.....the music ever so slowly lost that transcendent feel. The lights, while still so beautiful it was intoxicating, gradually lost some of their luster.

They looked around, and noticed that Amara was gone. Which was too bad. If only she'd been able to enjoy herself as much as them. Zane was still in the room, but he was tinkering with one of his drones, no longer dancing. Their own dancing slowed, and they found themself walking over to him a bit curiously. He looked up as they approached, and a smile broke out on his face.

"Aahh, ye done dancin?" he asked.

Fl4k had to think for a moment. They probably still could dance, but...they had had their fill. "Yes, I believe so."

"Looks like yer past the peak, then. Gonna start comin down soon I bet."

Coming down? Right. The process of the drug leaving their system. Part of them was sad to see this joy end, but they knew it had to. The clarity was fading, but there was still enough left for them to realize that if this joy lasted forever, it wouldn't be anywhere near as....magical, for lack of a better word. Magical seemed almost too paltry an adjective for their experience.

"Ye wanna go back to your room, then? Spend time with all yer beasties?"

That...sounded quite nice. They wished everyone would spend time with them, though. They still needed to tell Moze their epiphany. Along with Tannis, and Ava, and Ellie...Moxxi, Sir Hammerlock, hell, even Marcus and Claptrap.

"I was going to see everyone, before I encountered Amara. Where are they at? I shall find them." they said.

Zane snorted a bit in laughter. "Maybe you can tell em all later, eh? I bet all your little pets would love to snuggle up on ye right now, though."

Hm...he made a compelling argument. "Very well. I shall tell the others some other time." they looked down at the glowsticks. Though the intensity had faded a bit, they were still brilliant. "....can I keep the glowsticks?"

Zane laughed a bit. "Course ye can! Now, how's about we get you back to your little pack then."

The man stood up from his tinkering, placing the screwdriver down neatly next to a small row of wrenches. He motioned for them to follow, and they did so without issue. All too soon, they were standing at the door to their quarters. Fl4k hesitated a bit, not wanting to leave Zane just yet. They turned to him.

"....may I hug you again?" they asked.

Zane chuckled. "Sure, long as you don't make any weird noises again."

"...I will do my best."

They reached out and pulled Zane into a hug once again. He didn't pat their back this time, which was a bit disappointing, but likely for the best if he wanted them to remain silent. Still, the contact was invigorating. Fl4k didn't know how long they stood like that, but when Zane began pulling away, it didn't feel like long enough.

"Alright, that's enough now. You go on and hug your beasties, yeah? I'm sure they'd love some attention from ye." he said.

"Very well. Don't forget, though. I love all of you."

"Yeah, I know. We all do. Now get in there."

They acquiesced, and soon after opening the door they were accosted by an excitable skag and spiderant. They laughed, and dropped to their knees to shower the two in physical and verbal affection. It took them a moment to realize that they were likely hungry, but once they did, they got up and made quick work of getting food into dishes. After their beasts' hunger was satiated, they returned to showering them with love. They also had to keep Mr Chew from eating the glowsticks.

After some time had passed, they noticed themself growing....tired. A glance at the clock showed them that the rest of the day had passed since they'd taken the molly. It really did last quite a long time compared to the alcohol and marijuana. Since it was time to sleep anyways, they didn't hesitate to pile on the floor with their pets. Mr Chew on one side, Meat Thief curled into their other, and Broodless nestled cozily between their legs. Everything was so comfortable and warm, and it wasn't long before they fell asleep.

When they awoke, everything was decidedly less comfortable. They were nauseated, and everything felt....dull. Their mind was a bit sluggish, but not too terribly so. No, the world itself seemed to have lost it's luster. They joy they could remember feeling the day before was gone, and instead they felt a bit hollow. It was all rather unpleasant. Part of them just wanted to go back to sleep, in the hopes that when they woke next they'd feel better. Or at the very least less bad.

Instead they thought back on the experience. They remembered the overwhelming euphoria permeating their very being, but now? Now they were just embarrassed. Not even on the marijuana of alcohol had they lost control of themself to such an extent. The only good thing was that Amara and Zane had kept them from going throughout the entire ship making an utter fool of themself. They couldn't believe they'd been so....cuddly. With people. Showing that kind of physical affection to their beasts was one thing, but people? No. They'd never been the type, nor wanted to be.

The only thing they could think of that they still felt was true was the realization of how....important everyone was to them. It was startling, to realize that their intoxicated epiphany still held true now that they were sober. Before the previous day, they hadn't comprehended just how much their teammates meant to them. Now it was as clear as the stars. It was....comforting, in a way.

It wouldn't stop them from threatening both Amara and Zane to keep quiet about their behavior while high, however.

Mostly Zane, if they were being honest.

Notes:

Okay uuuuhh this got. Long.
But to be fair the high for MDMA lasts a hell of a lot longer than weed or alcohol, and also it's a stimulant and not a depressant.

If anyone who's reading this has used MDMA before and I fucked something up, feel free to tell me.

Anyways I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I liked writing it. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at just how ridiculous this whole thing is.