Unfulfilled Desires

by Kyze_Larion

Summary:

Another, more explicit tale of Mileena's time in the Umgadi.

Notes:

Sample of other things I was working on.
Not sure if I'll finish them here. But I really liked the ideas and just wanted to share them.

Chapter 1: To Be a Member

In her hand, lie a separate being oddly attached to the man before her. Her status of little importance, his regal demeanor tossed to the side. She had chosen him simply because there was no reason not to. Now she had all the reason she'd ever need. But if this was by nature a part of her fate no matter the man, it was ultimately pointless to seek another. She was going to have to interact with this sooner or later.

“Might this be your first time handling one before?” He guided her hand up and down his shaft. The skin retracting and covering the head like a sleeve. “You don't have to be so gentle. But don't hold it so tight.”

He was the one binding her hand to his body. A hand she now wished wasn't attached to her. It was rough, bendy and rigid. The veins popped against her skin. Throbbing under her involuntary touch. He spread her fingers instructing her to massage his opening with her index and continue stimulating the body with the rest of her fingers. An impossible task.

Every time he took his guidance away and tried to relax, her hand would reflexively pull back. He finally gave up and conceded to finish the rest himself.

She didn't want to watch him in the throes of passion with his own imagination, but she feared the conversation averting her eyes would instigate. His pants were falling further down his legs. Flat on his back, knees up and apart, he vigorously stroked himself.

No one was likely to come by, but if they did, what would they think of him? Of her? She was sitting beside him, made to be a perverted spectator. No decent person would stand for such a thing. But this was his home. She accepted the invite. As far as anyone knew, he was well on his way to becoming the next king of Outworld. So maybe they'd think nothing of it if they saw them together like this. The fact he was this comfortable with his actions, meant he obviously saw nothing wrong with it. He viewed her as his already.

The man she'd been getting to know these last few months was nowhere to be found. This, writhing creature incapable of speech, was not that poetic diplomat. Those ears were not the ones that listened to her woes and worries in the night. And that obscene mouth was not the one that sought to comfort her after his ears had done their part. The only parts of this man that mattered at this moment, were his hands and that dangly meat sock being strangled by them.

Ribbons of thick off white fluids shot out of him, staining their picnic blanket, shredding the last bit of appetite she had left.

His body trembled, legs splayed out to the side. He pulled his hands away from his now flaccid penis, covered in semen. After a few minutes, he sat up, reaching into their basket for a napkin.

“This is, normally the woman's duty. I should hope after we're wed, you're more involved.” He ran the napkin over himself with such passion she thought he was gearing up for another session. Sure enough when he pulled the fabric away, fresh globs of cum were dripping from it. “For now, only you princess will know how virile and youthful I am. Soon all of Outworld will see how invigorated their king is. We will not stop with just two. We will fill the castle with children. A son for each major city.” He tried to cup her face with the hand that had just barely been wiped. “A couple daughters for you and the mothers to fawn over.”

After all that, their outing continued on as normal. This had been a milestone she was unaware of, as this was the first time she'd gotten this far with one of her suitors. Before his performance outside, trips to her room were scarce and never after hours. Now he came almost exclusively at night despite promising he wouldn't the previous night.

It infuriated her, seeing his playful face peeking through the slit in the door before he excused himself in. Once, he'd caught her undressing and begged her to stop so he could pleasure himself in front of her again. Being told it was her wifely duty, she went ahead and did what was asked. If this was what would be expected of her, she should get some experience now.

By far, much worse than sitting beside him, disassociated from his activities. Standing there, bare as the day she was born, she was expressed upon just like the blanket, napkin and any other object that had the misfortune of being in his spray zone. He ejaculated thick spurts over her breasts, stomach, hips and thighs. Then he'd leave, wordless implication that this mess was hers to deal with.

The last night of her visit, she packed her bags early, praying a carriage would be sent ahead of schedule. Maybe her sister missed her or her parents wanted her to return for some other official business. Something to save her from one last visit. If he couldn't read her discomfort from the other nights, there was no reason to believe now would be any different.

“My queen, I see you're still awake, and packing.”

“I just want to be prepared. I, don't like to keep anyone waiting.”

“Really?” The bulge in his trousers was already extending against the fabric. Asserting itself in their conversation. Her eyes being drawn to it always gave him the wrong impression. How was she supposed to correct him? “Our last night together until the next opening in our schedule. I feel we've grown much closer than before. We've seen each other in our most intimate states. The next time we see each other, I don't think we'll be able to resist each other. You've blessed me with your touch. Let me return the favor.”

“It wouldn't be proper for us to,”

“You will be my wife. A woman's pride is in her modesty. A man knows no such reservation. You deserve to desire me as much as I you.” He loosened two top laces of her bodice. “It's time you prepared for bed.”

All the preparation he meant was the removal of clothes. The instant her dress hit the floor he latched onto her. The two thin barriers between his penis and her rear didn't feel strong enough to dissuade his lust. There was so much strength concentrated in his hips he needn't thrust for her to feel his force.

“We already belong to one another. Still, I wish to claim you without compromising you in the eyes of our elders. To leave a piece of myself inside you. Our time together is too short. And such an action, may be rather, uncomfortable, initially.” Arms around her waist, he squeezed, circling his hips, digging further into her cheeks. It slid up, touching her lower back. He grunted in her ear. “We'll save that for our next visit. Until then,” One of his hands reached down the front of her undergarments. He pressed against her pubic bone, combing through her fine curly hairs, commenting on her softness.

He went down and so did her underwear. His teeth sunk into her left cheek, his free hand wrapped around her leg, curling between them. “You're so warm.” His fingers spread open, sliding through her creases. She'd finally had enough.

“Would you please,”

“Mileena!”

They had come just in time and still too late. She hated for her parents to see her like this, but it was good they'd come when they had.

The visit came to an immediate end. Her potential soon to be husband, took advantage of being able to excuse himself. He could escape reprimand. She could not.

“You are to be getting to know him. Is this what you've been getting up to this whole time? I can't believe you.”

It was better to let her mother finish speculating and then add her corrections. If she bothered to butt in now, she would only have to continuously reexplain herself over and over again. The process was already being slowed down by her father trying to calm her.

The needs and desires of a man. The desires she was supposed to have as a woman. Perhaps he wasn't the one. Her feelings had been stirred by his actions, but not in a way that made her want to participate, or experience that again. Everything he'd done to her detracted from the man he'd been in her eyes.

That unsightly sword he wielded between his legs, killed that lovable idea of him she once held. From the day of their picnic til her parents arrival, he'd barely said one kind genuine thing to her. Every single word, gesture, possibly even thought, was in connection to how he could get her to interact with that thing.

“Mileena, you had to know that's how it was going to be. He's been waiting for you to visit him forever. You two can hardly have a moment alone together when you're here. I guess I see now why that was.” Her sister was in knots laughing about the whole thing.

“I honestly had no idea. There are things I'd like to discuss without mother and father listening, but I wasn't looking to be alone for, that.” She raised the hand he'd befouled. “He made me hold it. It was so,” She shook the feeling out of her limb.

“So, are you no longer able to call yourself a priestess?”

“Despite how unclean I feel, things didn't go, that far. Were I truly a member, I wouldn't just lose my right to being an honorable woman of the cloth. I'd be excommunicated, from life.”

“You know, mother is getting rather tired of these Umgadi activities cutting into your royal affairs.”

“Did she say that?” Kitana nodded. “If she didn't want me to go, she should have tried harder for a son.”

Her sister rolled over in her bed. “Then I'd have had to go. And I'd probably have to live there. From what I know of your times away, it's not somewhere I would have wanted to be.”

“You would have grown up there. It would be all you knew. It probably would have been easier. I don't really see how it's frustrating for her. It's not like I've had any major conflicts in scheduling. I attend some ceremony or festival, then I'm right back here. If anything, it's frustrating for me.”

“How? I thought you liked it?”

“I do. It's just, I don't really feel a part of it. I went for a few summers as a child. Now I show up to wave and smile during events. I'm called for only in the presence of the high priestesses. It's a sisterhood of warriors and I just don't feel included. I hate that. I don't feel close to anyone there. When I go, I stand beside them, to receive honors I didn't earn.”

“What do you mean didn't earn? You train. You attend lessons. You observe at the temple and give offerings.”

“Kitana, Umgadi is more than, that. As I said, it's a self contained, sisterhood. One with a rich history that is sewn into the very fabric of Outworld. Our parents lessons are, performative at best. Politics is a show of power and an adherence to order. I am the next empress of Outworld. My duties are just to maintain peace and order within our empire. The preparations it takes to do that, I don't feel they're putting much importance on at the moment. I feel I learned more about leading during the handful of lessons I got from the Umgadi when I was going. I learned things there, important things that our parents haven't even bothered to tell me.”

“You'd better not let mother hear you say that.”

“She needs to hear it. I should be allowed to go.”

“If you feel that strongly about it, why not ask during your next event? I can't be for sure, but I think mother and father had agreed to clear you for the next year of any urgent engagements, so you could spend time with Doniel. Don't suppose that's still something they're pushing for.”

“How did you find that out?”

“What else is there for me to do here but eavesdrop? I hear things.”

“I doubt they'll agree.”

“Can't hurt to ask, if it's something you really want to do. I would say speak with father, but you know he's going to run it by mother first. So,”

“It's fine. I don't want to push my luck. With how upset mother was, she may suggest I quit all together.”

“So you'll have even more time to get into trouble with these suitors? She may want you to stay with them for a while. I don't know how you were able to sleep through her raving.”

“I wasn't able to sleep much when I was visiting. He kept coming to my room.”

“Well then, it sounds to me, like you don't much care for him anymore. So, what are you going to do about him?”

“I don't know. You've, had your fair share of, outings, right?” That angelic sister of hers, rolled her eyes, and bit her lips. “To think, my little sister has,”

“What are you asking? What exactly didn't you like about it?” Kitana positioned her hand, much like Doniel had made Mileena. “It's not something I do often, or with a lot of men. There's only been two. And they were more, charitable lovers than Doniel it seems. Did he not attempt to,” She made, awkward motions in the air, not really drawing any definitive illustrations. “Stimulate you, at all?”

Memories of him dragging his body over hers, grating her skin with his freshly cut stubble, that brainless rod of meat poking her when she'd pretend to be sleeping.

“I really don't know. Maybe he was trying and I just wasn't, understanding.”

“You, felt him though. You saw it. What was his like?”

“I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to remember it. I don't want to see him again. He saw how mother and father reacted, so maybe he'll understand? Knowing him, he'll try and win them back over.”

“Mileena, you know, all of them, are going to be like that. You seemed to really like him before. But now, you don't. And you haven't given a real reason yet.”

Thinking back on all that happened and all she'd told her sister, she wondered where her complaints were being ignored. “He was completely inappropriate. He shouldn't have tried to,”

“You liked him though? When I say they're all going to be like that, I mean, and I don't want to be so crass but, your husband is going to want you to, touch his penis.”

She had not the energy to work up a disgusted expression. Only one of defeated acceptance. “I know.” Hopping on her bed, she hung her head low. “It shouldn't be this hard. What am I doing wrong? I, I felt like I really did like him. But once he, made me touch it, it was like he was a different person. I couldn't see the man he was before.”

Kitana came around to her side of the bed, stood before her, easing her knees apart. “He wanted to be closer to you. You can understand that, can't you?” Kitana tilted Mileena's head up by her chin. “Before you completely dismiss him, I think you should, use him to at least get an understanding of your, wifely duties.” Her sister wiggled around between her legs more, caressing parts of her she didn't want active right now. “It will be cruel, but it's perfectly understandable for you to be choosy. You're the next empress of Outworld.”

“Choosy?” Her head slumped forward into Kitana's shoulder. “I almost wish mother and father would just pick someone for me.”

Compared to the arms of the man she thought she was going to endure this life with, she preferred the delicate embrace of her twin. Her gracious curves, slender waist, inviting breast that she did not hide from her. That unfiltered contact between them, was a million times more intimate than whatever Doniel called what he was doing. So much more to want to get closer too. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. If he couldn't match the closeness she had with her sister, then what hope did he have for a successful relationship where some love was expected?

Clasping her hands on the small of Kitana's back, she drew her in more. “You will be there with me. It's not as though I need a husband now? You can have as many as you like, so long as you stay with me. This is, too difficult.”

As she knew she would, Kitana rested her arms around her. “The maids are going to whisper about you sister. Of course I'll be by your side. Still. You're going to have needs, I can't fulfill. Even if you didn't find enjoyment with him, those desires are there.”

Rumbles of disapproval were buried in her sister's neck. Her lips lingered on her skin. “I don't think they are. No matter how you describe it. It was so, gross.”

Mileena couldn't see her smile, but she could feel the muscles twitching in Kitana's neck when she did it. “It's not the, most pleasant looking, but, it feels amazing.”

She hadn't even the smallest inkling of desire to know what that amazing feeling felt like. That thing hardly appeared like it could fit inside her, let alone be pleasurable. Would that be yet another category her future suitor had to fit into? If interacting with it was inescapable, she'd go for smaller.

Two weeks had come and gone, the events of her visit were still fresh in everyone's minds. While she wasn't confined to her room, she made herself scarce when her parents were around. Before she entered a space with them, she'd get an ear of whatever conversation they were having, gauging their tolerance for her presence. Today, hiding behind a pillar in the sun room, she listened to them calmly discussing her for the first time since the incident.

As previously revealed by her sister, they had indeed locked her schedule so she could spend time getting to know this man. Her mother was now looking for things to fill her days with. “Missionary work, community service. We should have her building convents to join.”

“Sindel, they are young, passionate. She's been taken with that man for months now. That's what we wanted, right? If he's to be our future son in law, we should want him being prepared now. He's, surely not who I envisioned for her, but if he's who she wants, we still have to invest in the man.”

“Of course I wanted her to become better acquainted with him. Not his penis.”

Her father groaned. “Please, my love, don't remind me of such things. She's a young woman and we shouldn't hinder her.”

“Jerrod, Outworld may still be a cesspit but they're gradually gaining some sense of propriety. A child out of wedlock, from their next empress before she even wears the crown, how stable is that? She'll look like an easy harlot. A loose wench.”

“You weren't easy or loose.” Her father's tone deepened, turning sultry. “While I hate to think about it, they didn't exactly look to be engaging in any behavior that would result in, children.” He took his wife's hand, bringing it to his lips. “She's already so, repressed. We should be grateful that boy brought her out of her shell.”

“I don't care about her shell, it's her clothes I'm concerned with.”

“Either way Sindel, he's made a very good argument for us to allow him to come here. Mileena obviously cares deeply for him to allow him to,” He scoffed. “She's growing up. Keeping them apart, sets us back.”

“So, you're saying we should let him come here, so he can defile our daughter, in her own home? I feel you truly are misunderstanding what is upsetting me. He's to be rewarded, with further access to our daughter?”

“He wishes to push forward with the marriage. Young, lustful. We were wed before you took the throne. We only had another ceremony to include the kingdom. We let them wed now, they'll have the elder's blessing.”

Her stomach turned. Push forward with the marriage? So the elders would bless a highly one sided union? How could they want to bless something so, indecent? Knowing what was expected during copulation was one thing, being involved was, another by leaps and bounds. She couldn't stand having it in her hand. She hated that droopy fluid touching her skin. The way it bubbled out of him. If she hated it outside her body, how could she stand it inside?

“What she did was foolish. But him? That was disrespectful. I'm tempted to cancel the whole thing. I don't care how many letters he writes. What of the next man?”

“Next man? Sindel, it took us a lifetime to get here. You know how fickle she is. She cares for this man. We, under no circumstance, should get in the way of that.”

“I don't see it as getting in the way. I realize Mileena is, a bit awkward when it comes to these things. She still needs guidance.” Her mother called to a passing servant for a drink. “We're not going to see eye to eye on this. However, Mileena is what's important here. I don't want to impede her courtship. But I don't want her,”

“To grow up? Sindel, she's fine. Let her experience this passion. Don't make it unpleasant for her.” Another servant called from out of view. It seemed her father asked to be alerted when the courier arrived.

When he left, she involuntarily leaned forward to watch him go, putting her right in her mother's sight. “Darling, come here please.”

Caught in a baitless trap, she set herself across from her. “Yes mother?”

“Were you, listening?” Her mother found the truth in her silence. “You are growing up. Mileena, there's nothing, inherently wrong with what you were, engaging in. But you understand, there's an order to such things, don't you?”

“Yes mother.”

Her mother thanked the elderly woman who gifted her a goblet of what smelled like strong spirits. “I'm calm now. I'm, trying to be understanding too. As your father keeps reminding me, we were wed early too. But he neglects to account for how long we'd known each other beforehand. Mileena, I don't think it's been enough time. The man you take for a lifelong partner, will also share in the responsibility of upholding the throne with you. Have you considered that? Have you two discussed that? You will introduce his bloodline into ours.”

“Mother, I, hate to continue to disappoint you and father, but I feel you're, thinking ahead much too far.”

“And you're not thinking far enough. Mileena,”

“No, I mean, things may be going back, soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“Doniel, I don't think I'll be going forward with the engagement.”

“What? I hope this isn't because of us. Me.” She put her drink to the side. “Mileena, it was just, startling to see you, like that. It's natural and should have been a wonderful experience for you. I just want you to conduct yourself, with a tad bit more, modesty?” Her mother put her head down, covering her eyes with her hand. “Oh, dear. I'm terrible at this. You really like him. He's the first suitor you've so much as had a second meeting with. For you two to be so taken with each other, I just wasn't prepared. Please don't let me be the reason you,”

“It's not you mother. Honestly, I'm a bit, relieved you and father arrived when you did.”

“What?” Her mother's expression turned to one of worry. “It was, a mutual engagement, wasn't it?”

“Yes, yes it was.” In her chair, she couldn't turn her body away, so she had to settle for just her eyes. They were down, focusing on the elaborate details on the tablecloth. “It was more, experimental, than passionate. At least, to me. The whole thing kind of made me realize, he might not be what I'm looking for.”

“Mileena, I'm, reluctant to believe that. That man's asking for a wedding within the month. I think it's too early and you both have much to learn about each other. But he doesn't seem the type to be that clueless about a woman's affection. Why would he feel comfortable enough, to risk not only punishment, but embarrassment, by asking for your hand, if he didn't have a strong sense he wouldn't be rejected?”

“Well, I didn't want to, hurt his ego, or be a rude guest.”

The little chuckle she threw in the lighten the mood, had the opposite affect on her mother. “I pray you're joking.”

“I am. We were getting acquainted well enough. The more I got to know of him, the less I liked. While our, times together were, consensual, they weren't mutually enjoyable.”

Her mother took a sip of her wine. In that moment, she looked just like Kitana. Giddy, childish. “Really? Why not?”

“Oh Mileena, you're here.” Her father returned, waving a piece of paper above his head. “A letter, from the Umgadi has come for you.” He stood behind her mother, holding her letter out of reach. From the looks of it, she was going to be summoned for another event. “What were you two discussing?”

She hoped that smirk spreading across her mother's mouth was one of solidarity. “Your daughter was just about to tell me, why she suddenly finds herself, uninterested in Doniel.”

“What?” He dropped the papers, pulled out a chair, staring into her eyes the entire time. “What do you mean? I know your mother may have overreacted but, Mileena, we're fine with the two of you having an early engagement. Right Sindel?”

“I, certainly am, open to considering it. But it seems our daughter isn't. And unless I'm misunderstanding our conversation so far, I think he may be lacking in a very crucial aspect.”

“What? What is it?”

Why had she said that? She had a hard enough time speaking to her about this. She couldn't say such things to her father. Him seeing her like that was enough to almost make her hate Doniel.

“Sindel?” He was just as perceptive as his wife. Her humorous glances and her lack of input pieced together all he needed to understand. “Mileena, that's, a bonus. Really. For you two to discover these things and figure them out together. Size, um,” Now he was sitting with his head down. “Sindel, talk to your daughter.”

“I was. I don't know how much help I'll be. I didn't have these problems.”

“My love, please. You were the one who said she needed to be guided.” He sat tall, avoiding eye contact. “Mileena, you shouldn't be so eager to release a decent man, because he, doesn't perform well, in one area. Especially not an area that bears no weight in regard to your ability to rule.”

“What? Jerrod, that's actually very important. I can think of no greater form of relaxation. To endure the stress of the crown, and go unsatisfied by my husband, it would be unbearable. I agree it can be worked on. But if not, she should not settle.”

“Do you hear yourself? Outworld's future king's lovemaking skills are so far from important,”

“I beg to differ. Trust me Jerrod. I'm trying to set our daughter up for success. If her husband can't please her, she'll have no choice but to have a consort or two who can. How will that look? We're not talking about a sacrifice of sex over political prowess. But if he was that bad, her rule is far off, she can afford to keep looking.”

As they continued their conversation without her, she snatched her letter off the table and ran off to find a nice place to read it.

It was clear from the handwriting, it was from her superior Li Mei. The refined elegance she only used in official letters to her. Much neater and fluid than her normal writing. Giving it a uniform, yet personal feel.

“Greetings, Mileena. Your official graduation from junior to elder sister will be held four weeks from now. Should it not conflict with any other obligations, I would like you to join your other sisters in the preparation ceremony, that will be starting three weeks beforehand. By time this letter reaches you, I should be in Sun Do. As the honor is already extended to you, this is just a formality. Best regards, Li Mei.”

It was all a formality. Everything she did regarding the Umgadi, was formality. She recalled a year she'd been sick during nearly every major milestone, and she was still able to advance with the rest of her squad. She had a private testing arrangement with Li Mei, wherein, she received below satisfactory marks in nearly every category. Yet she stood beside her sisters, holding her head as high as theirs.

This would be no different. Between getting to know Doniel, her royal meetings and regular outings, she'd hardly kept up with her training, temple worship or any other Umgadi tasks. Considering the warriors within the castle walls, she couldn't blame lack of guidance for her lack of discipline. Li Mei constantly reminded her to use them as a resource. Despite her sister boasting about her involvement, Mileena knew the truth. She was no more Umgadi, than a second born son.

Tempted to decline on that alone, she didn't want to put Li Mei in such a position. She was trying for her. Doing her best to bridge the gap between Mileena and her sisters. It was through her direct training and tutoring that Mileena wasn't as far behind as she should have been. Li Mei abandoned her girls, to come sit with Mileena for weeks at a time, months on some occasions. Her sisters were amazing to get by without her for so long. Hearing herself referenced with them when Li Mei spoke of her pride in them, was the driving force behind her desire to remain.

Li Mei's pride was worth more than the crown in her eyes. She was the epitome of righteous. An impeccable soldier. Unrivaled strategist. She was everything. And she saw those things in Mileena. She told her she would be just as great, if not greater.

She loved her parents, but not even they had given her that level of praise and admiration. They hadn't filled her with a confidence that made her want to excel beyond their expectations. All their talks and lessons felt empty and superficial, devoid of importance and feeling. Even during talks of, love.

Things like romance and relationships weren't allowed within the Umgadi, however there was something so lovely about it, every lesson felt grounded by the relationship they shared as shield sisters. The time she spent there, going to lessons, sparring with her friends, then collapsing in an exhausted pile with them. Leaning on each other, lying on one another. Truly seeing each other as extensions of the same family. To her, those girls were as close as she and Kitana.

They were the ones who deserved a year of her undivided attention. Time with them, time fulfilling her Umgadi responsibilities were crucial to her character. After one visit with him, she'd learned all she needed to know about this future suitor. Her feelings for him, had changed, he had not.

“There she is. Mileena, Li Mei is here.” Her sister and instructor were standing in the doorway, watching her.

“Is that my letter? Clearly a sign from the holy mother.” Her sister dismissed herself to inform their parents of Li Mei's arrival. When they were alone, Mileena rose to her feet, forgetting her graduated status, throwing herself into Li Mei's arms. Li Mei embraced her, with a warmth that only helped to point out how cold she really was in her daily life. “You're so big now, and so much stronger. I'll need to stay diligent with my training if you're going to continue throwing yourself at me like this.”

“I'm sorry, so sorry. I'm much too old for this, aren't I?” Stepping back, arms still locked around her neck, Mileena looked down at their bodies. Li Mei wasn't the only one with breasts now. Mileena's legs no longer dangled above the ground, or wrapped around Li Mei's waist. She was, by all means, a woman now. “I, I should be, bowing to you.”

Li Mei's hands came from around her back, to her hips. “No. And you never should.”

“I am only an elder sister. You've been my guide and matron for most my life. You deserve that respect. I would bow to any other instructor. You are not a servant.”

Her beloved teacher shook her head and laughed. “I should hope all these words of admiration mean you'll be attending the ceremony early?”

“I would like to. But as you guessed, I am only just now receiving the letter. My father brought it to me not even an hour before your arrival. It's not short notice, as these are my burdens to bear, but I haven't had a chance to speak about it with my parents yet. Things have been, a little tense as of late.”

“If it's a bad time, I will understand.”

“No, no. It's not. It's just, while I was reading, I was thinking. I wouldn't say no to you. I couldn't. It just doesn't feel like I've done enough to deserve such an honor. I excel under your name. I owe my progress this far to you and only you. You've kept me in a league with my sisters, by the skin of my teeth. If that's what you were able to do, with the limited amount of time you're allowed with me, I can't imagine how much further along I'd be if I were with you full time. I mourn for what could have been.”

“You give me too much praise. I could not do the work for you. I've only instructed you. You are where you are, by your own merit. You're not so far behind. I've got a couple girls who can barely wield their own fists and they lived with me. You have not, missed out.”

“Don't flatter me, please.” She returned to her seat, picking up the letter again. “If not for the lessons, I still missed out on forming good bonds with my sisters.”

“Well, there's not much to be done about that. But, in a few more years, they'll be promoted to junior guards and if you'd like, they could be appointed as your personal security. You would still have a more skilled group with them, but,”

“I'd appreciate it yes. But that's not what I mean. I understand why things were done this way, I just feel like I missed out on what truly makes one Umgadi. I did not have a proper Umgadi upbringing. The girls are always kind to me when I visit, it just doesn't feel, authentic. I feel like, I'm visiting. They feel like holiday friends I met during a trip to my cousin's home. To me, they are just as much my sisters as my blood sister is, and yet, it feels undeserved to call them such. I shouldn't be an elder sister.”

Li Mei's look of shock could have been comical if not for how serious she looked. “Well, that's something.”

“I hope I did not offend you. You make many allowances for me. I am grateful to have been given admittance within the Umgadi. I just feel I don't do enough. It feels, disrespectful to continue being elevated through the ranks alongside those who truly put in the work.”

Her superior hung her head, expressing shame and regret. “Now I should hope you don't take offense at what I have to say. I only feel comfortable enough to share this with you, in light of what you've just said to me. Among your squad sisters, there is no animosity. I've brought them up with a lot of understanding surrounding your situation. But, not everyone is so, considerate. There are those above and below me who would agree with your assessment of your progress so far.”

The revelation hurt more now that it was validated. “They are, within their rights to feel that way. If that's the case, why do you make such a big deal of me attending these ceremonies? The novelty of me being Umgadi, word of my initiation was good enough to rally the people behind you. No one attends these events but Umgadi members. And none of them would tell that I wasn't there. So, why?”

“You do the work, you deserve to be there.”

“I've failed several assessments.”

“All things considered, you're above where you were expected to be,”

“Compared to the others, I'm probably less capable than a little sister?”

Li Mei grinned, turned away, clasping her hands together. “I think I've done better than that.”

“You have.” Mileena bowed her head. “It's not your fault. It is because of you I am as far as I am. Any failings I incur, are my own doing. I take full responsibility for my position.” She sighed. “I wish there was someway I could remedy this. I belong to the Umgadi by birthright.”

“You belong to your parents.”

“I belong to Outworld. Every woman in the Umgadi is known as a Daughter of Outworld. It's a privilege to be a part of it. All I've given to you all is a couple weeks or months out of the year and a pitiful soldier, besmirching your name, when I should be your best example.”

“You are the next empress of Outworld. It's not as though you can just sit your royal obligations to the side and dedicate more time to your Umgadi training.”

It was too perfect not to work. “And if I proposed that very thing?”

By afternoon, she was sitting round the dinner table with her parents and Li Mei discussing the conditions of her extended stay with the Umgadi after her ceremony.

Her mother took less convincing than she thought. She was still somewhat upset about Doniel's advancements and didn't want to reward him with more visitations, but she didn't exactly want to push him away, because she believed Mileena still had feelings for him. Her involvement with the Umgadi was the perfect excuse to keep them apart and still engaged.

Her father was less enthusiastic about the idea. Even being somewhat upset about the candid feelings the nameless members had concerning Mileena's scattered attendance.

Before it was over, her whole family was asked for their input, with heavy emphasis on why she shouldn't go. Aside from her father's weak reluctance, there was overwhelming approval from her mother and sister. By the end of the day, she was packing her things, preparing for her three week stay before her ceremony.

“It's almost a little too perfect for you. Such is the way these things work out.”

“It's only perfect in the sense I get to put in some actual time with my sisters.” Kitana leaned over her clothes, pouting. “My shield sisters, dummy.” The jealousy she held whenever Mileena extended that sisterly title to her Umgadi sisters, was cute. “This is a much better use of my time. Besides, maybe this time apart, I can rekindle my desire for that man.”

“Maybe. Being around a bunch of women surely would rekindle my desire for a man.”

“Hush.” She clasped the lock on her trunk. “I'll have bigger things to think of. If this goes well, I'm thinking of asking mother and father if I could, put more time into my Umgadi training. All these long stretches of time where I do nothing but wait around, or attend pointless gatherings, I could be doing something productive. My lack of dedication to them is insulting.”

“You don't have to talk me into letting you go. I've already agreed, if it makes you happy.”

It did, but that wasn't the point. “My happiness, doesn't matter. It's my, responsibility.”

“Don't act like playing soldier in the woods isn't going to be more fun than meet and greets, or those boring celebrations. Courting was the funnest part and you didn't like that, so this will be like a vacation to you.”

Hopping onto her bed, she gently pinned her sister down. “You just have it all figured out, don't you?” Watching her squirm, knowing she was at least somewhat trying to free herself, made Mileena feel a little better about her lapse in training. Kitana was only a little smaller than her. She wasn't helpless. But she wasn't moving Mileena either. Mileena exerted enough strength to keep her completely immobilized, without tiring herself out. That was something.

“Would you let me go please? You're hurting my wrists.” Lying beneath her, rubbing her wrists, Kitana blinked to hide her glassy eyes.

“What's wrong?” Relaxing all that tension she just had, she lowered herself against her sister, relishing in her softness more than that of her bed. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Stop staring at me. Get off me.”

She let the first few tears fall freely, then caught the next one with a kiss. “What's wrong? You can't expect me to overlook this.” She let her turn over on her stomach. It was easier to cuddle her like this. Pulling that silky curtain of hair over her right ear, she whispered into it. “Are you going to miss me?”

Kitana groaned into the cover. “You just got back. I wasn't expecting you to leave so soon. You were traveling, then you left to be with him. It's almost been a year since I've seen you. You're here for two weeks, then you're gone,”

“For three. Just three. Then the ceremony, and I'm back.” Seeing her like this, glazed Mileena's eyes. Luckily for her, Kitana couldn't see. “I can't believe you're acting like this.”

“Shut up. I'm just, feeling overwhelmed right now.

Chapter 2: Birthday

Summary:

Kitana receives and odd birthday request from her sister-in-law.

“What do you think you're going to get your mommy for her birthday?” Kitana knelt over her niece. The toddler gazed up at her, wearing both her and her sister's face.

“Mommy's birthday?”

“Yes, your mommy Tanya. It will be her birthday, in four more days. Have you thought about what you'll get her? You know, a present?” Her golden brown eyes fluttered. “She helped make you that bear for your birthday. It would be really nice of you to get her something Remina.”

Her little lips turned to a pout. She stared at her bear, then back at Kitana. “For mommy?”

“No that's yours.”

“For her birthday?”

The woman of the hour came around the corner with her wife beside her. Kitana watched her niece run right to her sister in law first. She didn't even acknowledge her mother. And her mother barely acknowledged her. Tanya was the one to pick her up and shower her with hugs and kisses.

Remina hugged her teddy, then held it out to Tanya. “Happy birthday mommy.”

“Oh? For me. It's a bit early, but thank you darling.” She cuddled both child and stuffed animal, then returned it back to her. “That was lovely. The best gift I've ever received. It must have taken you all day to get this together. I'm sure you're tired. How about a nap?”

Mileena hadn't even tried to engage with her. She only tried to kiss her daughter, so she could sneak another to Tanya.

As she walked by, cradling and kissing the child, she waved to Kitana. The love she had in her eyes when looking at the little girl erased all Kitana's irritation. At least she had one parent, in her life, that loved her openly and proudly.

“She really is wonderful with her.”

“Yes. She is. Kitana, please don't start. I don't want to argue.”

“It's not an argument. Just an observation. She is your daughter. The idea of her growing up, and having her blood parents so, uninspired by her existence, while Tanya fawns over her like a real mother. It's, sad.”

“You really think Tanya's that good with her?”

“She's amazing with her. You can just look at them together and feel their bond. I know she's crazy about her, because she looks just like you.”

“She looks just like us.”

“Yes, but she isn't in love with me.” She expected to look over and see her sister chuckling, preparing her next retort. Instead she was leaning against the wall, looking at the floor. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“I'm, trying Kitana. I do love her. It's just, difficult. I'm glad Tanya's giving her the motherly love she deserves. She deserves the world for that, don't you think?”

“Yes. Why are you acting so strange?”

“It's her birthday. She hasn't, explicitly asked for, well I know she wants something, but she hasn't come out and asked for it. While she isn't asking for a lot, it's, something I'm going to need help with.”

“You need my help with something? Just come out and ask.”

“I mean, Kitana, it's really important. This is just our second year together, officially. I'm not just trying to make a good impression. I want her to know how much she means to me. I want her to feel accepted by my family.”

“She is. Has she said something to the contrary? Have I offended her somehow?”

“No. No. It's just, Kitana, how do you feel about this? My marriage, your sister in law? All of this, how do you feel?”

“I've, made peace with everything. We were wrong in how we treated you before. This is better, isn't it?”

“The way I felt when I was with Reiko. I don't feel it effects the relationship I have with my daughter, but apparently it does. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. So, if you feel the same way, about, women, I'll understand.”

“What are you talking about? You're not making any sense.”

“I guess I should just come out and say it. I'll have three days to convince you if I need to.” She exhaled. “For Tanya's birthday, she's asked if maybe you could, join us for just the night.”

“Join you for the night? To watch the baby? I had already assumed I'd be doing that anyway. She doesn't have to ask that of me.”

Her sister still avoided looking directly at her. She tapped on the wood panels lining the lower half of the walls. “No. We've invited mother. She's going to take Remina back for a little visit.”

“You'll be out and need protection?”

“No. We'll be staying home this year. I wanted to do more this time around. So, there will be an ongoing, small, very private celebration. And, as my sister, I wanted you to be a part of that.”

“You're inviting me, to celebrate her birthday?” Kitana didn't mean to laugh, but her sister was being so awkward. Long gone were the days of judgment and disdain. She accepted her sister's preferences, and personally thought, she couldn't have found a better mate. No matter how entitled she acted from time to time. Tanya was an overall great woman. “I'd be, honored. I'll even get her a gift.”

“No, no. The fact you'll be there will be a gift in and of itself.”

Something about the interaction felt, incomplete. Knowing her sister, she probably wanted her to help set up something, or taste test a new recipe that they'd ultimately ask the cook to remake. Tanya brought out an experimental side of her sister. Mileena had never been the model royal. Once she started courting Tanya, she gained some grace, but went over the top in other areas.

And Tanya, would always show her appreciation for the effort, yet remind Mileena, she's royalty and should enjoy what that entails.

Tanya was more levelheaded, considerate and conscious than Mileena. Going so far as to agree with their mother in concealing their relationship until things were a little more stable. She wanted Mileena to make a name for herself, build a respectable reputation among her citizens before giving them reason to doubt and judge her.

The icing on this rich decadent chocolate cake, was how she bridged some kind of gap between Mileena and her daughter. Right after she was born, Mileena would hand her off to whoever was around to deal with her. Being so callous as to employ a wet nurse while she was perfectly capable of feeding her. She didn't know where her daughter was most the time. No scoldings from her mother or sister changed her behavior. Once Tanya started making frequent visits, asking where the baby was, suddenly the infant was always around. Since she never knew when Tanya would stop by, Mileena gradually got used to caring for her own daughter.

For that, and everything else, Tanya did deserve the world. As far as she could see, Mileena was set on giving her that and more. It struck Kitana as odd her sister would use such phrasing when talking about her attending some little private party.

The invitation itself was, strange. Tanya wasn't one to turn down a gift. They got along, fine, but Kitana's presence wasn't something spectacular. Seeing each other nearly every day, and the fact she was married to someone she shared a face with, took a lot of the fantastical wonder out of being acquaintances. Now, their mother, Queen of Edenia, maybe. Tanya's own parents, who were more unwilling to see her because of where she lived, than who she lived with, that would have been a gift. But Kitana? That was, questionable.

So questionable in fact, she was going to ask her about it the next time she saw her.

Or, maybe the time after that. Mileena was leaving to go to town and as her lady in waiting, Kitana had to accompany her. She didn't expect a lengthy explanation, then again, she didn't really have the question fully fleshed out. What was she supposed to ask her? Why would her being at this private celebration be so grand? Tanya was being, uncharacteristically friendly, should she question it? It was a good thing after all.

On the other hand, maybe those weren't even her words. Her sister had a way of, rewriting history when given the chance to put things in her own words. Maybe it was best to ask her instead.

Sitting across from her, she almost hated to disturb her sister. Leaning out the window, enjoying the breeze with her eyes closed. A sweet smile on her lips, like one someone would have after smelling a fresh pastry.

“Kitana, I can feel you looking at me. What is it?”

“I've been thinking about this party. I just think it's, odd of Tanya to think so highly of me being there. I probably would have come regardless. Unless asked not to. We get along well enough, I admire her without a doubt, but I guess I just didn't think she, thought so kindly of me.”

“She, likes you a lot.”

“Because I look like her wife?”

Mileena giggled. “That could have a little something to do with it.”

“She can still easily tell us apart, I just, is she the one who said that? You know how you like to interpret things.”

“No, no. She, definitely said she'd like us both to attend.”

“Wait, is she throwing something for herself? I don't understand.”

Her sister adjusted from her relaxed position. “We're just, celebrating together, as a, little,” The next word out of her mouth, most certainly should have been family, but she seemed to be thinking, ultimately changing her mind completely. “As friends. Just a girls' evening. Us together. You consider her a friend don't you?”

“She's my, sister-in-law. She's practically the mother of my niece.”

“You like her though, right?”

“Sure? Honestly Mileena, has she said something? I'm starting to feel like I have upset her in some way. Or are you just planning something silly that you want me to do at the last minute?”

“Kitana, she likes you. And not just because of me.”

“Likes me enough to think me showing up at this private party is enough of a gift I don't have to get her an actual gift?”

“Yes. Why is that so hard for you to grasp?”

“She likes presents. I bet she can't wait to openly be acknowledged as Remina's mother. You've gotten some pretty nice things on her birthday.” Mileena laughed. “Do I like her? Do I consider her a friend? What kind of questions are those? We aren't children. I hold her in high regard, respect her and find her pleasant in most circumstances.”

“Well, would you have chosen her?”

“What do you mean?”

Mileena leaned closer, Kitana followed her lead. “If you, fancied women, would you have chosen her?”

Unable to even imagine what that was like, she withdrew. Women just existed to her. Having no frame of reference, she didn't really know how to answer. So she shrugged. When Mileena withdrew and her face fell, Kitana quickly thought of an answer.

“She's beautiful and kind, most the time. Great with kids and respects her spouse. She's a great woman.”

“Would you have chosen her?”

“I guess?”

“Guess? Why is it so hard to answer if you have all that nice stuff to say?” The corners of Mileena's mouth may have turned up, but her eyes were downcast. “It disgusts you that much?”

“Not disgusts. I just,” She fumbled for the right words. “I just wouldn't see a difference? You know how, ice cream isn't my favorite treat? It's all just, cold and sweet? So if you asked me, how would I like it prepared, it doesn't really matter, it's just cold and sweet. So I don't really care to differentiate. I might not have chosen Tanya, but it's just small reasons why. This doesn't take away from any compliment I gave her, but she has an attitude.”

“That's all? She has an attitude to rival a vengeful gods. Maybe I should ask, would you have chosen her, physically? Based on nothing but her looks?”

“Mileena,”

“If you liked women, and she was an option, would you have picked her?”

“Fine, sure. What's this about? Are you having doubts?”

“No. I just wanted to know.”

“Wanted to know if your sister would pick your wife?”

“Would it be strange if she were my husband? Could I not ask my sister if he was worthy in her eyes? Attractive? If she would have lied with him?”

“Point taken.”

“So you do find her attractive?”

“Sure, yes.”

For the next few minutes, the ride was, deathly silent. She'd been pressured into the answer and still said something wrong. What could she have wanted her to say?

In town Mileena perked up again. They rode in wearing disguises so it was easier to move around. They stayed close, picked up some fun little toys for Remina, some fabrics, and tools. Then Mileena shooed her away to place their purchases in the carriage.

When she returned, she was nowhere to be found. Finished with her shopping, having no idea where she could have gone, before panic set in, she decided to wait by the carriage. She appeared two hours later, a bit flushed in the cheeks, but otherwise fine.

“Where were you?”

“Putting in an order.”

“Where? For what?”

“Why are you upset? Were you worried?”

“Of course I was. It would be awful for something to happen to you days before your wife's birthday.”

“Yeah yeah. Well, I'm all finished here. You ready to go?”

“Yes. So are you going to tell me what you ordered?”

“No. It's a surprise.”

“For her, not me.”

“No. It's for you too.”

“Alright Mileena. Enough of the games. This party, what is it? It has to be more than a birthday surprise for her. The surprise isn't for me. Tell me.”

Her sister's face fell, her hands came together in her lap. “It really is just a birthday celebration. But, she did say I should just tell you.”

“Whatever it is, you should. What is it? Is something wrong?” Her expression and reluctance led her to all the worse conclusions. Nonsensical and unlikely, but too horrid to voice. “Mileena, please just tell me.”

“You, love me, don't you?”

“Of course?”

“You can, refuse if you want, but please hear me out, completely before you answer. Keep an open mind about this.”

“Mileena, is this about Remina? You're not getting rid of her are you? Tanya loves her. I mean, she does, doesn't she? I understand your repulsion but she's your daughter. At least give her to,”

“Kitana, this isn't about her. It's about us. You, me, and Tanya.”

“What about us? Would you just spit it out please? You're making me nervous.”

“Remember when I asked you to join us on her birthday? For the night?” She huffed. “Don't get excited, please, please hear me out. I meant,” Her cheeks turned bright red. “I meant in our room. In our bed.”

“Like a, sleepover?”

“Don't be dense Kitana! I mean, she wants the both of us.”

“Both of us? To what? What does,” Somewhere in her, she knew exactly what her sister was hinting at. At the same time, she desperately hoped she was hearing something wrong.

“All we're asking is one night. If you don't want to continue after that, that's fine, but just one night.”

“How can I even respond to something like this Mileena? How could you even ask me such a thing?” All the admiration she held for this woman was thrown out the window like yesterday's garbage.

“It's her birthday,”

“I wouldn't care if it was Argus's and Delia's birthday. You should have told her immediately that was unacceptable.”

“Kitana it's, not as crazy as it seems. Many people desire to bed twins.”

“It will stay just that, a desire.”

“What disturbs you most about it?”

“My lack of attraction to women. My sister entertaining such an idea. What kind of pervert is she?”

“Kitana, it's not as if I am asking, for myself. It's her birthday, she isn't even really asking, it's just something she's been hinting at for some time now.”

“Hinting? You're asking me this over hints? Hints that you could be misunderstanding?”

“Kitana, I'll,” Her face turned even redder. “You can just lie there. I'll do all the work.”

“You'll do what? Mileena how can you even be discussing this?”

“I told you to hear everything before you decided. Can you just do that, please? Whatever you say after you hear everything, I'll accept without pestering you.”

“I've heard enough.”

“Kitana I love her. She loves my daughter. I plan on asking her, to have another child for me. I'm committed to her. I'm going to love her child, as she loves mine. Before I can ask that of her, and have her believe in me, I have to show her what I'm willing to do for her. This makes me just as uncomfortable. But, for her, I can endure it.”

“Mileena.”

“You and mother made me feel like this would never be possible. Like I'd never find someone to love me. Now I have, and I'm always scared I'm going to lose her. What if I don't fulfill her and she leaves me for a man? What if I'm not enough?” She put her head in her hands. “If the only other woman she needs is you, I can deal with that. You remember how things were before her? I don't want to return to that Kitana. If she gets bored with me this soon in the marriage, I don't know what I'll do.”

“Mileena, if she's going to leave you, because I, we refuse to do this, maybe she isn't,”

“Things aren't like that for us. It's all compromise. It's not as easy as saying there are other fish in the sea. She really is the one for me. She comes from wealth, she understands the need for discretion. She's perfect by your and mother's standards. You've been singing her praises all morning.”

“That was before I knew she was a,”

“You've never, been with a woman before. Kitana, I think you'd enjoy it more than I did with a man. I'm not asking you to join me in lifelong debauchery. Just for one night. After that, I'll explain to her, this will never happen again.”

“Are you almost done, because I'm surely ready to give my decision.”

“I'm asking again, what disturbs you the most about this? You won't have to do anything, just, lie there.”

“And what? Have her all over me, while you watch? Did you forget the part where you're there? Even if I could somehow agree to being with her, you too? You being there? Us together? No.”

“Could that be, a compromise? I, I won't touch you. She'll always be between us, for, the more intimate things.”

“I'm not compromising any of this. I'll talk to her myself.”

“No. No, if you can't do it, just let it go. Don't say anything to her. Forget I said anything.”

“I can't just forget that.”

“Try. We're done talking about it.”